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A Calvin and Hobbes Collection by Bill Watterson Foreword by Pat Oliphant Cima SOMETHING UNDER THE BED IS DROOLING A Calvin and Hobbes Collection by Bill Watterson Foreword by Pat Oliphant Andrews and McMeel A Universal Press Syndicate Company Kansas City * New York Calvin and Hobbes is syndicated internationally by Universal Press Syndicate. Something Under the Bed Is Drooling copyright © 1988 by Universal Press Synicate, All tights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may bbe used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information write Andrews and McMeel, a Universal Press Syndicate Company, 4900 Main Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64112. ISBN: 0-8362-1825-6 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 87-73254 ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES ‘Andrews and McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information write to: Special Sales Department, Andrews and McMeel, 4900 Main Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64112. Foreword re is a mystical quality to Bill Watterson’s work. What we have here is no mere comic strip. It possesses a dimension which was found once upon a time in George Herriman’s Krazy Kat and, later, in Walt Kelly’s Pogo. That, however, was long ago, and since their passing, there has been nothing in the world of cartoon art to replace them. Now, we have Calvin and Hobbes. ‘There are no mealy-mouths or namby-pamby characters in this strip. The kid is delightfully and dedicatedly rotten. The mother and the father (no names are given or necessary) live alongside their offspring in a state of agitated wonderment at what they must have done to deserve this child. The kid, for his part, lives a good 70 percent of his time in a world I remember well from my own childhood, peopled with unspeakable creatures of the imagination, and the rest of the time in a real world peopled with other unspeakables (the teacher, the girl, the school thug). Refuge from the latter world is found in the former. And then there’s the goofy stuffed tiger. A gentle soul, he is much smarter than the kid, whose brashness he leavens with a wry, endearing wisdom. There are many comic strips out there, a few good, some average, a great many merely background clutter. All have their own cast of characters, engaging or not, all glued and patched together with dialogue, some good, some not. Very few bright stars appear who possess that peculiar magic which can provoke comparison with the best of the past. Looking at the work of ur two comparisons, Herriman and Kelly, we can see a wedding of idea and art rarely seen these days, a feeling that words can enhance art and art can do the same for the written — that a carefully wrought blend of these ingredients can create a degree of enchantment which bespeaks genius. ‘You want magic? Watterson the alchemist has conjured forth a work of subtlety, character, and depth far out of Proportion to his tender years. I wish him long life, and may the powers of his sorcery never diminish. You want magic? This is a collection of the sorcerer’s recipes for changing simple ink and paper into the purest gold. Humbly allow me to present Calvin (the kid) and Hobbes (the tiger). This book is magic. — PAT OLIPHANT To Mom %4 Dad wm 2 2 z In Calv "TREAD ME] | @nce. upon atime there was] [ T Con'T LE THESE i ran ato mined Calva whose STORIES WITH MORALS. wanted 4rings 1s way. ays daa got Sick of and ‘Rim in tne basement Fe sre rest oF ee 7 Everyone else erage ee TM WATCHING TELENISION — teeters THINK YOU'RE & LITTLE AL RIGHT. NOW RUN DOWN THE AISLE AND 2. LET GO! Cdlvin 4 HobbEs '™* — aq hg, J 4 A Foca A Nbr T_THINK [MUSING 100 STRONG A SUN SCREEN. FISHING 1S THE MOST BORING SPORT IN THE pr, NORD ‘NEVE BEEN SITTING HERE | i FOR TWENTY MINUTES AND | Fi NOT ONE THING HAS HAPPENED! | NITH A DRINK OF MAGIC. ELIXIR, CALVIN TURNS. HIMBELF INVISIBLE. WAHAT T HAVE TURNED | BY REMOVING MX CLOTHING, | 1 HAVE COMPLETE FREEDOM ||] CALVIN! ‘HAT ON EARTH MYSELF INVISIBLE, T CAN PERPETRATE ANY | T CAN GET ANNAN (WITH CRIME UNDETECTED! ANYTHING! ol Hobbes N calyv ITS DECIDED To MAIM NOW NET. ME FIRST. IT WORKS ON THE SAME, PRINCIPLE AS. ELECTROSHOCK RICK STAND UP? z z & S a Gz, e ASH! \\T JUMPED MEV TM NOY GETTING THEY DRINK WATER ALL DAY NEAR IT. AWST IN CASE SOMEONE PICKS THEM UP. CALINL AND HIS TRUSTY. NANIGATOR HOBBES ROAR DORN THE RESIDENTIAL READ AT SQ MPH! ALL RIGHT, TM BACK ALREADY ! CANCT LEVEN RUN AN ERRAND SATTHOUT YOU BLOWING THE WORN ACROSS THE PARKING LOT2! WELL KEEP YOUR ENES PEELED] «= WHAT WILL WE DO ‘SEE IF WE CAN SELL MOM, J | THEY'RE BOUND TO LAND WHEN THEY COME ? | | HERE SOONER GR [ATER CALWIN, T DONT WANT YOU UP IN THAT TREE. SUMMER VACATIONS OVER! NOTHING AHEAD Bur TOIL AND DRNOGERY FOR A, HOW STRANGE. T MUST HAVE BEEN DELIRIOUS FROM HANING SO MUCH FUN, IN SOXCER, YOO CANT TOUCH THE GALL WITH YOUR HANDS. OR ARMS YEAN, BUT 4 RRRRGHH! KID AT SCHOOL CALLED ME A, NASTY NAME. REAL HARD AN THE SHINS ? LYAVE AINPOTMETICAL “Y]... SHOULD 1. No, T DONT THINK HERE'S ANOTHER HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION. SUPPOSE A KICK HIM tote OULD QUESTION. MHAT JUSTIFIED 4 LONG BEARD. nae NICE, CALNIN, Go ANERD T THONGHT SHE'D PUT UP MORE OF nto THAN. bow MBOUT THESE] GOOD HEAVENS, LOOK AT MOM? | THE PRICES J DONT HAVE J PANTS THAT COST THIS. HUGH! | WOULD ! ad HobbE $ In Calv FORGET IT, MOK. TM NOT GIVING) YOu MONEN, IN FACT, TL DONT EVEN BAVE ANY, OW WAIT, YES, T Do! HERE. FOR A KAD NTH A MONOSNLLABIC, VOCABULARY, WES AWFULLY PERSUASE . T NOU COME TO SCHOOL WITH ME, AND WHEN MOE COMES: TO STEM. MY |. YO SUMP OUT AND EAT HIM! AF THAT BULLY 1S EXTORT PONT bo THAT! 1F MOE | THIS. KID CANT GET AWAY FINDS OUT T SQUEALED, | WITH STEALING, CALVIN, TMA GONER ! SOMEBODY'S GOTT] 00 SOMETHING THINK TLL USE. THE GNARTER To CALL MY INSURANCE AGENT. FING HELLO, CALVIN, SPEAKING TD LIKE TO ORDER A LARGE ANCHO, PIZZA [ TRY TOMA EVERYONE'S DAY A WHAT ARE. YOu LOOK MORE LIKE S you pons? || geinc YOURE BEING BORED, A SOMBRERO? ARE YOU CRAINZF COOL PEOPLE DONT WEAR SOMBREROS | WEARS SOMBRERDS! TM BAG SEE. T RUT On TUL BE “Coot” IN THESE, BON.) MICKEY MOUSE PANTS.2°7) | uP! MAIBE TIM NEW WANE. r #7 WBE YOU'RE HERE COMES SUSIE TM GONG To THEOW A PINE CONE AT HER. ARE THERE ANY MONSTERS \F THERE MERE ANY UNDER MY BED TONIGHT © MONSTERS UNDER MY BED, HOW BIG WOLD THEN BE? WITH, GREAT EFFORT, CALYIN || is ONLY HOPE FOR PROPER |] HE CRAWLS TO EMH KEX WS ABILITY TO WRITE A, LEGIBLE MESSMGE TO HIS FAMILY! VTS. "THE 1B? OVERTURE” | T KINDA LIKE IT. INTERESTING PERCUSSION SECTION T WENT To SCHOOL, PLAN QUTSIDE, AND DID MY KTM EXMAUSTED. ! yee. WAIT A MINUTE - THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. THAT'S (WHAT SHE SMD 3+4 WAS, 1 JUST READ THIS GREAT SCIENCE FICTION ‘STORY, (T'S ABOUT HOW MACHINES | ‘SO INSTEAD OF US. CONTROLLING MICHINES, THEY CONTROL US? PRETTY SCARM DEA NN. HEY TIME 1S \T?? TOWORRON WERE GOING | WO DISCUSS "CURRENT EVENTS| IN SCHOOL an a Nn BG oh S Sa ae TT EACH OF US HAS TO FIND A NEWSPAPER, ARTICLE, READ tT TO THE CLASS, AND EXPLAIN TT. i WHAT ARTICUE DID YON CHOOSE? "SPRCE ALIEN WEDS. TWO-HEMPED EUS CLONE” ACTUALY, THERE'S, oe ANHAT YQ) AUST PUTONE OER ERC EAR, AND ONE HER, YOUR NOSE.. AN ELEPHANT! HA HA! T WANT SOME SOCKS TOO! IF T MISS THE BS, ITS. GOING To BE NERA AROUND HERE ! CALVIN, HOW DID NOU BREAK THIS, 1 DONT UNDERSTAND, IF WERE JUST GOING THIS BUSINESS ABOUT TO DIE, WHAT'S THE DEATH, POINT CF LINING ? TYE DECIDED T WANT TO] WELL. YOU'LL HAVE. TO NORK BE A MILLIONAIRE ] PRETTY HARD TO GET A MILLION DOLLARS NOT WONT, You WILL. TL JUST WANT TOINERTT IT. JVE WORST PART ABOUT GOING) | ALL YOU CAN DO IS ‘STAND HERE AND UMAGINE. WHKT'S. GOING TO GO WRONG DURING, THE DAY T Bet WE HAE Boy, MY LUNCH Box SEEMS LIGHT i AS HO CAN SEE, STACENAN | | QUR HERO, CAETUPED BY VERY AMUSING, YOu TWISTED SPACE FROG. WHAT'S THUS FIENDISH DENCE CALED? A CHIN-UP ) SPIFE READIES, BAR, GET FROM EVEN THE MOST VMCOOPERATIVE PRISQNERS! ITS RIGHT ON THE FLCOR WHERE YOU LEFT AT. ITS STIL ON THE FLocg? WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT YT AWAY? GEE. MY OWN COPY OF JHE EMANCIPATION, PROCLAMATION. sg TM. TRYING aD TK IN? | TO BION WT SANS ON THE BACK HE WROTE His FIRST TM ONE WITH MY TIM GOING OUTSIDE TO || 1'M LEAVING NOW? weFURTHER BULLETINS. HOMEWORK ! PLAY! ao cor MY t O, BOT £ 0ST Taccen] [AOD DONT CECA SSSR) | Sue om : ‘OF TO IML roe LOOK, MOM, T PUT ALL HH | THEN In THE MORNING, TU, RUN QUT IN MY UNDERWEAR. AND SLIDE DOWN AT TOP SPEEDS f AND LF YOu PUT MY CEREAL ON THE STINGS THO, L WONT WAVE TO GET UP UNTIL 30. SECONDS BEFORE THE BYS COMES. FORGET CALI GO SPIT OUT YOUR TOOTHPASTE AND STOP BEING SILLY. MAYBE DAD WILL FALL FOR WF T BITE HIM FIRST. WHAT ARE YO | GOING TO DRESS WP AS FOR, HALLOWEEN # T DONT KNOW YET. 4 T CAN'T DECIDE I a WO CAN “mr THINK OF WELL, THE DEA | HMM, MINBE \ oy oe TECOUNERU NN, | GEE AUDEN Sout [GRU RE Top ape} SG ahCk. TIME FoR Kou i NSO WT | OPEN OP THE TOP. AND aq} WLIO NEA HERD. | Soop OWT Te Guar _/|| JOUR, LOBOTOMY © T THINK DAD LIKES. 1S HE GOING To STAY ANLOREEN AS MUCH USTRICK WOME. AND GE Our q ‘NO, HE'S GOING Tp SITIN THE BYSHES WITH THE GARDEN HOSE_AND DRENCH POTENTIAL TP ERS. Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson iF eRe EN , ITS. AUWEYS, SUCH A NE MIGHT AS WELL GO “MILK DNDS, con LETDOWN, AFTER A INTO Town AND LOOK, TH HOLIDAY AT THE CHRISTMAS A BARE, MOW'S NOT FEELING WED. SO TM MAKING | AND ON THE INSIDE {T SANS, a PHLMOM! SINCE YOU'RE || T PREPARED EGGS, TOAST | | THE EGGS KIND OF BNRNED | | OM. WHERE SICK, TM BRINGING YOU || AND ORANGE WICE FOR | | AND STUCK TO THE PAN, BUT BREAKFAST IM BED! YOu ALL BY MNSELF! YOU) CAN PROBABLY CHIP “ THEM OT WITH THIS CHISEL SINCE YOUR | q v MOM'S. SICK, TUL BE MAKING DINNER, TONIGHT, — AS YOu CAN SEE, T MOM SENS | Yue MoM wasn SSURNINED TWO YEARS OF YOu ATE THERE, SOSHE WY ONN COOKING NHEN TL] FROZEN | wOuLONT KNOW, MAD AN APARTMENT ANTER | WAFFLES AND | GET THE SYRUF| CRNED SOUP | OUT, WHO? SOMETIMES WHEN I'M SICK, You BO | NOM EAD ME. A STORY. ne) MOA! HEY! WANT ME TO READ QU ONE *] NO,THANKS, ANHAT'S, WRONG ‘WHY WOLD SHE WANT: Pes, youd Tune ‘SHED HANE LEARNED HER LESSON. ath mer Ta 1 ASKED DAD IF MOM WAS. DAD SAID WE'D NOM) IF MOM WAS HAVING A KID BECAUSE SME'D LOOK LIKE A HIPPOROTAMYS WITH A GLAND PROBLEM, THAT'S WHEN MOM, HEN, MOM, I GOT A (TSS A GREAT DRAMATIC ROLE! { "HUTRITION AND: PART IN THE CLASS WONDERFUL, | Mit CHARACTER: WILL HAVE THE FOUR FOOD EVERYONE IN TEARS AT THE RWS.” 1M END GF THE SECOND ACT! AN ONION ‘Ok, HOBBES, T NEED you To HELP NE MEMORIZE MY LINE FOR THE PLAY TM THE ONION, AND T. SAY, "IN ADDITION TO ‘SUPPMING VITAL NUTRIENTS, WAN VEGETABLES ARE A. SOURCE OF DIETARY FIBER" “GLUCOSE 1S THE BODY'S MAIN ENERGY SOURCE! GRRRGHH! THATE THIS PUN! Sow TIL NEVER BE ABLE TO THIS STUD TVE GOT_\T ALL FIGURED Sy HANE, NO. T THOUGHT TD COME | AD-LIB SOMETHING ABOUT OUT. HOBBES. THIS PLAY YOUR LINE AU] QUT, DO A LITTLE SOFT-SHOE, }, DIETARY FIBER? WILL BE RO SWEAT. MEMORIZED? | AND AD-LIB SOMETHING ! EATHER THAT, OR TLL DO HOW'S MY ONION COSTUME COMING, MOM? TM STILL WORKING ON IT, WISH YOUR. CLASS. WOULD BO SOMETHING & LITTLE LESS ELABORATE. I'M NOT MUCH OF A SEAMSTRESS, JUST BE.GLAD I'M NOT RUSSY WHITE. AE HAS TO BE AN MIND ACID MM... ‘WHAT | JABBA THE HUTT THE REINDEER. T DUNNO, ai ARE YOU GOING To COME TO MY_PLAY, DAD? ITS. CALLED “NUTRITION AND TE Four Food GRouPS”” WELL, WHY DONT YOU SAX] ] 25 Kids IN FOOD Suits. YOUR LINE FOR ME NOW? | | FORGETTING THEIR INES. TL | | DEFINITELY BE AT WORK. LET'S SEE. DEAR! CALVIN “IN ADDITION WORKED HARD: TO.” UH... WOLD WT..UM. DO YOu HAVE YOUR, 1M STILL LEARNING VT, LINE MEMORIZED FORTHE | BEING AN ONION IS A NUTRERON PLAY, CALVIN | DIFFICULT ROLE. You GNOW WHAT ARE YOU ? THANKS FOR WAITING. FOR TWE_QUS WITH ME, HOBBES T FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT IN THIS ONION SUIT. Tu BE GLAD OHNO! RUN FOR YOUR URE! A PROWCE TRICK!) a owdUST KIDDING! SUSIE, WHERE'S CALVIN? | 1 DON'T KNOW, HE GOES ONSTAGE MISS WORMWIOOD. RIGHT AFTER YOU ! WE WAS HERE A MINUTE. FINE TIME TO GET SINK IN MN COSTUME ‘STUN ZIPPER! LCANT BELIEVE (T! I'M ‘STUCK IN MY ONION SUIT! 1 CAN'T GO ONSTAGE. WIT MY SHIRT CAUGHT (NAY COSTUME! YELP! TM SUPPOSED TO BE ON NOW! I'M SUPDORED TO BE SAYING [Y MX LINE ! WHAT SHOULD L Oz? WHAT SHOMD FDO Bde * TION TO SUPPLIING! Hae NOTES MARY) A SOURCE OF DIETARY he ye | TERRIBLE. T GOT STUCK \N MY ZIPPER. IN THE BA ROOM, AND THEY HAD TO STOP TE PLY AND GET 4 JANITOR, TO FIND ME AND GET ME OUT, OP UP AND AWAY? ae Ch wer! gion? KRYPTON Meee AES Calvin Hobbes =" Zip ZOP ZIP ZoP ZIP ZOP ZIP ZAP ZIP ZOP zIP ZoP e WOW DO THEY KNOW THE |] THEY DRIVE BIGSER AND |) THEN THEY WEIGH THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, | | BIGGER TRUCKS OVER THE LAST TRICK AND BRIDGE UNTIL IT BREAKS. REBUILD THE BRIDGE. ITS HARD TO BELIEVE THERE'S EVEN. HUNGER, SOME PEOPLE NEVER || Boy, T KNW PEOPLE ‘STILL, STARVE IM AMERICA IN THIS WORLD. lea | at ¢ a THE SOLDIERS ADVANCE | OH,NO! A SQUADRON OF QP THE HILLS ¢ BOMBERS APPEARS ON THE > WORIZON! THE BOMBS ” ‘BESIN TO FALL! THO DIRECT A BABY SITTER. CALIIN, NOUR DAD AND T TL CALLED ExGuT CAWIN, [ "FINE 2? SMES. | YoU REMEMBER! ARE GOING GUT REORE RO Sips A RERRECADA | ANE? SHE NST TOMARROW, SO. 2 WE ONLY ONE IW RG SOUL | LNGHED Wo YOULL BE HANG en hase tor SENIOR SUT! | F CALLED HER I'M Ag SOD NS. DEAD! K NOTEPAD AND PENCHL. WERE GOING, ROSRLN. HELP YOURSELF TO ANYTHING IN THE FRIDGE. T-CANT BELIEVE QUR BABY }| WELL SHE CAN PUT US TO. | | CALWIN, 1 JUST re ‘SITTER PUT US TO BED! a, BUT SHE CANT MAKE | | REMIND YOO THAT SIEEPING W's NOT EVEN DARK ONT: || US SLEEP. {OU PLN THE 1M A BED IS A PRIWLEGE. THE BASEMENT 'S SURE TO BE ALOT LESS COMFY. ROSALYN, WE'RE GOING TO BE A LITTLE LATER THAN THAT'S FINE. CALIN WENT TO GED EARLY, SO TM JUST ‘We EXPECTED, SO 1 THOUGHT | | HOLDING DOWN THE FORT COME HOME NOW BEFORE AT'S TOO LATE! HELP! HELP! SORRY HERE LATE, ROSALYN. BD) YOU GET CALVIN TO BED? MOM! DADS (S THAT You ? TM NOVASLEEP! ip YOU HAS WE | WELL, Wis VOICE. GAN BEEN THIS | QUT ABRIT NH OCAaKK] WAY ALL) BUT AT SEEMS TO BE Y migar? LO re | ; SHE'S STU HERE, DT PRE LOOK HOBBES, YOUGET A PLASTIC TRINKET IN BOXES OF “CHOGATE -FROSTED: ‘SUSAR BOMBS? WT SANS, "BE THE FIRST IN YOUR NEWGHBORHGD TO COLLECT ALL TEN couced © WHAT A ROTTEN DAN HELLO SUSIE, THIS 15 CANIN LOST OUR HOMEWORK, ASSIGNMENT, CAN YO TELL WE Way WE WERE, SUPPOSED, TO READ FOR TOMORRON ? MRE YO) ¥ ‘SOUND OF MYWIRE HOW'S 7MAT | SOMETIMES T FOR An WISH YON'D: ENTHUSIASTIC. | JUST BUY ME. GREETING? | ONE OF THOSE! Y 1 DONBT IT. TM OVER, HERE. BAD NEWS ON YOUR Pous. DAD. YOU SLIPPED ANOTHER THO. NOTCHES. THINGS ARE LOOKING GRIM, ARN \DEAS ON WHAT WKOAILD IMPRONE MY STANDINGS ? RIGHT, TAL KEEP THAT ind Mit: YT SANS." MAN IN DENNER, MADE 23 CORES AND THE NEXT DARE GRY ARISE. A MAN IN SEATTLE. BROKE THE CHAIN AND HE WENT BALD" Ht YO0 BELIEVE THAT? THESE] LETTERS ARE FGR SUPERSHITIOUS| NINCOMPOORS - A ~, RADA OMB KID LE YOU CALWIN HAS HY STERICUSLY SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF AN INSECT” HIS ONLY HOPE 1S TOCALL IT'S RINGING! HE RUNS CALVIN, THIS, AAD BETTER “CRE URNUATWE TE LD VENT INTOWE REST AND SAW A. CTIGE. NOONE WG HOMESO. SE NENT IN THIS. QUISA BOARD] LET'S ASK THE QUA BOARD | | O GREAT OULIA BOARD, WL T GROW UP TO BE WREN T WANT WS MOVING! AN EDITORIAL, HON IS WT THAT THIS OWLS BOARD KNOWS ALL THE ANSMERS To LIFES MYSTERIES?) OM GREAT QuIJA BoaRD, HON Do You KNOML ALL ITS MOANG! ITS MONING! QUR PLANET 15 WELL SEE DYING. WE NEED | ABOUT THAT, LOOKIES TO ‘ET BRK SURVIVE. DO WERE. NOT TRY TO - RESIST OR YOU WB PESTRINE. WHY DOT HAVE TOGO TO BED NOW? T NEVER. GET To DO WHAT T WANT! NOBODY EVER BECAME A PSNCHOPATH BECAUSE HE YEA, BOT YOU WONT LET ME CHEW TOBAGO EMER! Yon NEVER KNOW AAT MIGHT PUSH ME OVER THE BRINK! Ww SO RR f C CANIN fe WT SAYS YOu MEED A BGSER Sous Ed A WOMEMHDE GFT ‘ AT SANS YO) CARE ENONIGH | IT SAYS THIS IS SANS HORE THAN TO INVEST YOUR TIME AND | A PERSONA GIFT, A STORE BOUGHT ‘SKILL IN IT. NOT A GENERIC 4 : ewe [ THIS ARTICLE SANS THAT T BELIEVE IT. ME ‘ATH THIS ‘SEASON SURE FILS STRESS, t Ce) HON COME? ( T HATE BENG OD. Pest! age 71S WT (ETS eo] suce 'S THATS LONG ENOUGH! YOU AWAKE? CHRISMAS? WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 1 MISH is! THE WAY SOME OF THOSE LIBRARIANS LOOK RT YOU, T NATURA ASSUNED THE CONSEQUENCES WOULD BE MORE DIRE OMIGOSH! THIS SWAT. WHLL THEN DO? ARE | THEY'LL FINE SOU TEN, LIBRARY Book WAS. we SE TO INTERROSATE | CENTS “NOW GO TWO PAYS AGO! E AND BEAT ME UP 7? ARE WE Te PA THEY GONG TO BREAK MY KNEES ?? Wil L HAVE TO SIGN SOME CONFESSIONZ?® WS WE NOJ PLUGSED WP YOUR WOULD THE SNEEZE GO. i eo KIND YY ETHER WAN. NOSE AND MONTH RIGHT QUT NQUR EARS.OR WOULD BEFORE ou SNEEZED. EAD N“ HObHES "wees calv Cdlyin“HObpEs gt e 4 ya (TS UNIGKE DESKGN SENOS A BLINDING SPRAL OF SHOWN GN. WS PASSENGERS AT THE SLIGHTEST BUMP NOTE TOO, THE LACK OF ANY STEERING MECHANISM. YES, WS SED iS TRY HRZARD TO. FE ANDLUMB. ‘GEE. HANDS KE NOTHING BEATS SITING BY | OF QQIRSE, SOME PEOPLE SAY A ROARING FIRE AFTER | WKH BOTHER GOING: YOUVE BEEN OUT IN THECLD. ? ir he [GIVEN ARN woke THOUGHT To] THAT BACKYARD SKI_LIFT PROPOSAL, OF MINE? E 2 ig 2 2 : Calvin » HObbES (Gets + (MAGINE WAST TT WOULD Be LUXE WITHOUT AN PEOPLE OR ROUSE, BE PERE STL TM. WRITING MY Autoacgninn, ) BUT YOURE SYST SY NEARS OD. ‘IVE ONLY GOT GONE SHEET OF PRPER iS WOULD YOU MIND. WRITIN TW IN TWO PAGES FOR ME. BY TOMORROW MORNING 7 i Zz By ae es 28 NO, MAY BO: YOU ASK? ARE YOK) PLANING THATS RIGHT. RIDIGULOUS IDEAS” ‘SHE CALLED AQQWFFFFE. | 8 GO AHEAD DOWN. YOW'LL MISS AL THOSE TREES YOU WONT GO NTO THAT FORD, BESIDES, THE ICE 1S PROBABLY REAL THICK ANYWAY. GO. WY BRAIN 1S TRING TO KUL ME. Calvin “HObbES ‘mau : e- DOOR !! s (vy T CALED SUSIE A. Soe. BRAIN AFTER SCHOOL, At ‘SHE WENT ROME tee TT SOUNDS. LIKE YOO HURT HER FEELINGS, DIDNT MEAN Fok HER TO ‘TAKE THE INSULT PERSO “ESNIFF 3 THAT STUPID CALVIN. | T 'WISH 1 MAD A WUNDRED WHY DOES WE CALL ME NAMES | FRIENDS. TMOMLONT FOR NO REASON? IT'S, CARE. 1D SAN, "WHO NEEDS: JUST MEAN. YOU, CANIN? TYE GOT A THINDRED GTMER FRIENDS: } 1 FEEL BAD THAT 1 CAWED ‘SUSIE_NAMES AND HURT WER FEELINGS... MINE, Yoo SHOUD APOLOGIZE TO BER T KEEP HORING THERES. A LESS OBVIOUS SOLUTION, UM... HI, SUSIE. T.00M.. WELL. | I ! TM soma T CALLED T DONT MEAN WELL, You JID HURT MY ‘OH BON, Thank GOODNESS | 7 ..OM SECOND THOUGHT: FEELINGS, Bur T ACCEPT TL GOV THAT OVER WITH LET'S SEE YOU GROVEL, YOUR APOLOGY, THANK OU. = A UTLE BIT? © wn rl 2 Calvin™ HObbES aN Bol, ISTHS HLL Bio! WE" SHOW Lom | 2, i ‘SHORINT T? a 4 Hobbes Wits i mR | ca WHAT FUN & LETTER FORME 5 in? . SENT it SA WONDER waar A? IT SANS? = “al WHAT COULD =, sy ie WELL? WELL? AWHAT'D YOU AT LOOKS LIKE AN INVITATION. AM INVITATION? WHO'D ANNITE, YOU ANYWHERE? T pa ALOT OF PECALE, THAT ‘WHO, BYSTER,| Sex Se (sna || ML INVITES ATIGER (ve Sows) | READ IT ANWHRE WD | T GOr AN u cant cere | tera, | | ALREADY! INSURANCE, oS MISTAKE. eB | is muvimiig| | TT SAVEP ¢ ppnee 1 are R we Nie ‘SAY, YU DUMB WARBAL? CALLINE NAMES, WLLYOY? TLL WELL, WELL! I'S ANJNNITATON | [ SUSIE (MUTED WO 8 SEER] SHE MUST UATE MNIED MY [tu Weve To Y Oar. On THE TWO SNSIE DERGINS' BIRTHDAY k PART.” HOW NICE, ANWVTATION SEPARNTERY, SHE ABS WATE TS NOME C ‘SQSHELL ENON TT DYNT GET i WE |e) OW THE BOTE'! GET TUL MAKE A LIST OF POSSIBLE, GIFTS FOR SMBIESS BIRTHDAY ‘WHAT ‘SHOULD NE. GIVE HER? T TMi We SHOUD GET HER A CAN OF TUNA FISH, WEL, MAYBE SHE WOULDN'T, AND WE GULD OFFER TO TAME {TRACK AND BORROW SAVE BREAD, AUTRE MAIO fi “ SUSIES HOKE 1S THE NEXT SPI ONE UP WS 1S Guk LST GIANG. TO NOT SHON UP AND HAVE, A NEW BIKE HORN, HUSUSIE . | WENO, CALYINL | | GH, LOOK RI YOUR, STUFFED: RES JUST ADORABLE” WAPFY THANKS FOR || TIGER! HES WEARING BIRTHON? | COMING OK, YOU WERE RIGHT, GIRLS, FLIP FOR TIES. YOU CAN STOP WINKING AT ME. / LTT ck (a OX, EVERYONE, THE IDEA OF | Jouck,noRBes, Yo AN OLD | (GREAT WOME ON [coop Tang 1 Ys HS A-SCAVENGER HUNT 'S To BRING | ] HHEN'S THE: WCENSE | (THE NAY OVER! C'MON | J ALWANS CARRY A ‘ShME [SWISS ARMA KNIFE \ wa BACK AS MANY OF THESE CIEMS] | FIRST ITEM? A PLATE. Ho NOUGARIN WA AN ORR, | J __-4 so —— HERE'S A PAPER PUXTE FoR, |) T HOPE WTS GooD. T MATE |] YOu DONT HAVE. ] cH,GcQ0. TE BIRTHDAY CAKE. CAWIN. | | AT WHEN THE BIRTHDAY KID: TH WORRY ‘DD Oy = CHOOSES SOMETHING GROES | | ITS CHOGHATE. | SEE IT? HEY? WHO CUT APIECE Taper tence, BLOM OUT THE CANDLES!” WS NICE AND: MOST, TOO. J GLAD YOU BOTH COLD COME. THANK, You FOR THE NICE. PRESENT. GOO)-BYE MOM MAX NOT NANT THIS: PIECE OF CAKE AND ICE CREAM WERE BRINGING HER SNOW EVERYWHERE! TELY, TTS VG WNFORTINATELY, Wy MUST BE WAIST DEEP! A RELATIVE MEASURE. ng aL 1, €lyin = € Iwi HObbES,,, OO COND CERTAMY T Beat MY LETS | | REMEMBER HOEY ONCE |. WST SO LONG AS T Wa REPORT CARD ee FD Me WNT MOOR TRIED MY HARDEST. RIGHT? | BE TRING HARDER THAN THIS! WHAT GRADES T SOF, SOyeU \ © 5 ADMIT: * 10 WERE, ‘ i DAD SANS MY REPORT CARD SHOWS THAT NOT ENOUGH TIME 1S BEING SPENT ON MY HOMEWORK SO FROM DINNER TL BED TS NOW DESIGNATED AS, “HOMEWORK TIME.” \ JE AT DOESNT TAKE THAT LONG TO 00, WAY SHORD T NETO STAY (NMA ROOM ALL THAT TH IT STARTED QUT AS AL YEAM, TM REAL GOOD BOWL OR | PHANTOM JET, BUT I SORT | THATS VERY ‘SOMETHING GOING] OF SQUASHED, SO NOW oO. WOH. THERE'S | WELL WF YOu SEE CALI A DINOSAUR IN | ARNWHERE, TELL HIM W'S THEN.) ALMOST TIME FOR DINNER } Serene ieee LETS $0, CANIN, TIME TM NOT TAKING BATHS OM? AND HOW ARE FOR YOUR BATH. GOING TO STAY CLEANT aN ANMORE. T HATE THEM. [ A FIRE! OH, BOY! WANNA CAL TWAT A SINGLE, OR GIVE THIS UP? fl } i i fe 2. WHERE DO WE KEEP ALL Hon AM 1 EVER GOWs TO VEARN HOW TO AUGGLE? THE GIANT AMOEBA SUDES | | EXTENDING A CHOPLASHKC ALONG THE KITCHEN FLOOR. SEUNN pbES G\Vin « CANIN 4 Hob 4 ANISH WS REGRES GUESS hg 1p Calvin 4 HObbES ime een BOOE ME CRR EXPLODES IN MID-AR, PROFEIUNG MILLIONS OF TINY SHED INTO THE STRROSPHERE! (7G @OME? %y Wits DAL OOOO |] AwatING Y veaW tsi] THe kent, "AWK AWK DD 4 00. ye SS Tans YT WANT, A MATING SBuE BRDS BRANU-AOURKE: | a OUT YON G0, HOBBES. INTO THE DRYER. Pc! > TL CLEANED MY ROOM. MoM HY Dont] Ox, CANT THE WON COME TT DOESNT THE | [MBE mT GE Yo ont YOU AS LONG KS MOM TO 4) | MORE VICMIUM THE HOUSE ? er _ TYE BEEN IN THE WATER, ABOUT 20 MINUTES. LOOK AY MY. FINGERS. ” BiG PINK RAISIN DISCVERED WN TUB: B'S, NHEPEAEOUTS, UNKNGNN! oot OR, ON TMWEN THE, ost SHORTENING? HONESTLY, aa T Wee YOU'D WATS ‘WITH. YOUR HAR ¢ T TOLD MOM I'M GETTING MY SCHOOL PICTURE TAKEN TODAY, AND SME MADE ME COMB OUT THE CRISCOT PUTIN WY HAIR, NOW T LOOK LIKE A MORON, WHAT D YOu DO? 1S WOOT ISAT NEW WANE? GE, L WISH T HAD A, MIRROR YOURE NOT KIDOING ME, CALVIN! WHAT DID YOU DO OF COURSE, SILLY TO SOUR HNIR 2? DONT Oo THAT'S WAY T DID AT. ENON, WE RAYE QUR PICTURES} I'S CRISCE. t =e Ce - See? L PANTED A FRCE ON MY ‘STOMACH, OK,KID. SIT WP STRAIGHT QN THE STCOL AND LOOK RIGHT AT ME. THATS IT. ARE YOU READY TO TAKE MN / KID, WHAT ARE? Look rut HAHAHA Uae TH 2 WAAT AA { “YEAH, SEE Hom) eS) %? OF CURSE stn, Calvin «4 4 RSH, HObpES as CALVIN, HOR DO YO EXPLAIN | | UAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT | | NOU ABRGQF? won COULD TWS TEST SCOR STUDY PORTE WA NOT? || NOU PUBSIBLY FORGES 27 ITS TERRIBLE! GEE, WAS AWFUL NICE OF YOY STRANGERS NE Mi SER, FOR YOU MEPN. PYOURE NOT FOUN | THIS ALL SEEMS WELL.WE [THIS IS "TESSERT: Yo TVE HAD ENQUGH OF THIS. SILLY ANINESIA, GAME. SINCE YOU WONT STOP IT, YORE GOING TO BED: Aael MISTER, CAUIN, ALL WE WANT 1S FOR) You TO STUDY AND Do YouR, BEST IN SCHOOL, EDYCATION| 15 NERY IMPORTANT. THAT'S WHY THIS AMNESIA GAME HAS STOR NO MORE “FORGETTING TO DS YOUR HOMEWORK. Re tee ee MATH CLASS. GOING NOM? HOBBES, LOOK! THERE'S A YER. You WAIT | (1 SURE WWTKE RACCOON ON THE : GROUND: ELL T SOT HM THE SHOE Ex. WE CAN GO SREP ‘WARY AND SAFE. CLS ME J READ IN & BOOK THAT RACCOONS WILL ERT ‘CHANCES ARE, | CALNIN, ie DONT EVEN FW WORDNT BE VERN THIS. (S WHERE DAD BURIED TRE UTE RACCOOK T DIDYT EVEN KNOW HE IT'S UKE L FOUND HIM FOR, RERSON, T HAD TO SAY GOOD-BYE_AS SGON AS. T SAD HELO. STIL ..1N A SAD, AWEUL, MHAT A TERRE WAY, TM RAPAY stub T MET WIM. WORLD. YON KNOW, HOBBES, T CAN'T FIGURE QUT TNS DEATH STIFF, i F i F ib tH TH DAD THAT LATTE RAREOON, HAVE TO DIE? HE DIDN'T: DO ANYTHING WRONG \ Si BE WAS JUST LITLE! WHATS TE POINT OF AITTING HIM MERE AND TRING RIM TS EVTHER MEAN, ORITS ARBITRARK, AND EITWED Wnt TIVE GOT We VEEBIE-SEEBIES. Wel 15 17 ALNRS WOT WHEN WE. TALK ABOUT THESE THINKS: WAM SAYS DEATH 1S 8S NATURAL AS BIRT, AND ITS, RL PART QE THE LIFE CNCLE SWE_SAYS WE DONT REN UNDERSTAND WT, Bar THERE. ARE WANN THINGS WE DOT AINDERSTAND, AND WE WST BANE TO Oo THE But DONT YO GO ANYWHERE. WERE ARE ALL THE ANIMALS | BY GOLN, HOW. WOYLD: op NOW TAAL ae LIKE, Rs MO ANS WT TOOK HUNDREDS OF YEARS | | AFTER THEY BUILD NEW HOUSES] EVENTUALLY THERE WON'T FoR THESE WOODS TO-GROW, | [HERE THEYLL WAVE TO WIEN | BE A NICE SPOT LEFT AND THEY LEVELED IT IN A | (THE ROADS AND-PUTUPGAS | ANNIWMERE K. (T'S GONE. | [STANONS, AND PREITY SOON, PTS WHOM. AREA WILL. YOST BABE SRIF We TORE A Ga DY WHEN THE, {dRD 1 RO BY A GOTO TT EX Ha ARTA QUT WORT TS EEA ORY! S mn a a > «1 HOLES a* (N calv vba T DADNT KNOW YOU RAD A, You Ste INTO THIS GumnBeR, [ITS AMAZING WHAT THEX TO WOBBES, WANT To See MY TRANSMGGRIFIER TRANSMOGRIFIER ¢ TWS TRANSMOSRIFIER WML ‘TORN YOO INTE ANATHING AT ALL ALL You) Do 18 SET THIS. INDICATOR, aby THE MACHINE. AMROMATICALY RESTRUCURES, YOUR CHEMICAL, CONFIGURATIN,| YO) Can BE BAUER. a Babar, GIANT BG, OR R DINOSAIR, WHAT IF YOU : 5 ge ae B23 38 3 Bf WELL, WHAT GREG WE VISIT UROL WHIT ARE YOu GOING To TRANGMOGRIFY INTO 2 AL THIS FUR? FICATION |S ANE r WL MOM! WILL YOu MAKE HOBBES AND NE A Blo TUNA ‘SANDY T SUPPOSE We COND) o ALTHO TURN SUSIE INTO A BOWL OF JCHONDER, IF WE COULD JUST A. GEF WER IN THE MACHINE. CALVIN EATS ONE BITE, WNPLATING LIKE A a OUND! HOW MUCH |) Goon, Uf to WONDER! THE TOO MANY! HE BEGINS ER AND LARGER, CAN HE GET? ““ HODDES dp IN caly 4 WEEK =) ry i " “(a Coon. eee CREE HELP! HELP! are WEN iS 17 YOU ALWAYS, RIP NOUR, PANTS ON THE DAY EVERIONE WAS TO DEMONSTRATE Awa ee Ar HE mh Se TCANT BELIEVE T RIPPED . WN PANTS! PECESS IS ER. | 1 CANT Go WHAT AMT. OF ALL THE DANS TO WEAR, WN LIKE THIS | a THE UNDERPANTS WITH THE GONG TO DOr? ? LITLE ROGET Su LOOK KU THE SIZE OF THIS RAPE WANBE [CAN PLL MY MABE T CAN Stick THE RAPPED PART UNDER MY BELT. NO, THAT DOESNT WORK ETNER wt INTO THE HOLE: PLEASE DON'T LET THE AMIONE BUT ME! JuST LET CAN WORD 100 00 ‘SO MUCH FOR MIC EVER, TERCHER CAWLON ME! Dont] WER CALL ON SOMEONE BSE! | THE NEXT DINING THE CLERGY, MAKE ME GOTO THE BOAQD | PLEASE DONT EMBARQASS WEE BORD? MN RIPPED PANTS! [IN IC PRET Oe Te ECS CALVIN, WILL YOu DO TRE RET SO YOUR TEACHER DONT KNOW YOu'D RIPPED YOUR, PANTS, AND SHE MADE YOU DOA T DIONT HAE & CHOKE. TL YOQHED THE WHOLE, GAGS. EYER SE Calin 1.9) un’ Witte EO UOHIG, SERIE DoeeR TEAL NO BENG SAO HOE STON ake ee Cdlvin ~ nObbES / SUSIE, WHERE'S MISS MiSs WORMHOODS SICK, a WORMWGOD? Huo'S. THAT THAY'S OUR SUBSTITUTE A SUBSTITUTE ? LET'S SEE YOUR LADY AT HER DESK? TEACHER. | coo) HORAN, CSS. TL MISS WORMWOOD LEFT ME. OM WAIT, HERE'S A NOTE | | Ok, WHO, ONE SHE ADDED, JUST ASECOND_| | GF 100 1S CANIN? WE HAD A SUBSTITUTE. DD YOU LIKE HER? Nr. dones lives 50 miles a Jones travels at in i - GivEN Hie TRAFFIC T_AWWAYS CRIGH THESE away From you. You. ath and. you drive - \eate Fame at 50) wok, A what fine! | @ROUNd MERE St 5°00,1) | "pice Questions drive toward, each ont an you pass. La sone ratio KNOWS f ye TA F TNE GOT A SCHEME TD GET US SOME MONEN, WITH ANN LICK, THE TOOTH FAIRK WONT KHON THEY Re FAVES. UNL ITS, TOO LATE! Calvi «i HODbE 5 MOST PEOPLE WST 69 TO SEAS Bat THERA, AND TE Gor T GIVE A S MINUTE ORAL, REPORT ITN SCHOOL On THURSO, HATHA 9 WERE SUPPOSED 1 RESERRO UR SURIECT, WRITE IT UP, AND PRESENT (T TO HE CLASS UML ALD. SME KNONS KELL ALL 09 1T ON THE LAST EVENING, BUT SHE GATES THREE DAYS 1 WORRY, THE BRAIN, AND fT CRANLED ‘QUT AND TERFORIZED THE POPULACE, ‘SEE MM VISUAL AID? TE COVED SOME NOOLES. AND fart THEM, INA PAPER BAG DOESNT THAT Look LIKE BRAINS: YU Pause FoR A WY FEW MOMENTS. 50] CALVIN! YOU ALCAN FINISH | WRITING THAT TORN, ae maw at = EXPLAIN THE COMPLEXITIES OF iS TWE BRAIN 18 UST FIVE, MINUTES, BUT TO BESIN, THE BRAN \S PART OF THE Se CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM, IY, FIVE MINUTE, a) OF COURSE, 115 DIFAQULT To i RATTATATTATIATTA EEEEEttee [—— {No 10s SHOULD VE RATTATATTATTA : i Win “ HobbEs ca HEY, CAN WE CHANGE THE CHANNEL OWE WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE. NNO, TWAS HERE FIRST. HY SHOW'S | iy] CMON! YOu) T MATE NATIONAL) GEQGRAPHIC ANIMAL SEIS. Point A is twice as far from point ¢ aS pont B is tromA. 1 the distance fron, point B te point Cis inches, far is point A from point? AE LIVING DEAD DON'T PROBLEMS. NEED WS SOE WORD — “ALTHOUGH, IN A PINCH, A PRY WIL DO, IF YOU EAT HORRIBLY, THE UNDEAD CAIN THE ZOMBI FEED UPON THE LIVING! HE SEARCHES FOR FOSD. h—— REM HEH. OF COURSE, REAL ZOMBIES MEIER GET ME GIGGLES BY LOOKING AT calvin WERE SUPPOSED To WAVE THIS: MIELE, TOMORRO RNG RING & ING % ab a Calyin “HObbES YAK fre ind woe TM FLYING! TM FL eile feyl cou | SHEESH, L DONT ers | DUNNO, THAT "] yOu DIDNT WS. AMEGETARIAN MEAL. || VEGETARIAN 7 YECCHM! IS GOOD FOR OU. TM NOT A VEGETARIAN! T CANT GET THiS STUPID HAIR, TO COMB RIGHT, YEAH, BUT BARBERS NENEQ Cur Wn HE NY L WANT, SB EXACTLY HON WOULD ARE YOU HO, [JUST Dai OO LIKE THE BACK CUT? RATHER Net WAVE? LAKE WOW? WA CGRRETE: SMOKE MINED WITH | [ YER, UNS TAO BNET. SUDDENEY MN DeOR SwUNG | | TAKE YOUR HAT GER RT THE si aN WOME.) | DINNER TABLE, CLIN T'S TAKE YOUR WAT OFF AT THE DINNER TABLE, CAWIN, SOME BARBER FOU ARE! MOM) IN THE ENON. TYE GT SAYS THERES NOTING T CAN) TD.GO AROUND LOOKING LIKE to aT WAIT FOR MY HAIR | LYE GOT MANGE! T HOPE To GROW BACK. YONIRE HAPPY. ” SY se l ACFAT LOTT T CAN MAKE ene Y BOUGHT A SEE, TLL JUST PRAW SOME OF GOOD | IT UP TO YO YEAH? } YELLOW MAGIC WAIR.ON, THERE, (TS LOOKING} PAT DOES | HONEST. HON? MARKER, BETTER ALREADY fe Looe, TM SORRY} TRIE YO) A BAD HAIRCUT. L ff, DIDNT MEAN To. = WATT TL T On Wo 24 Book Report 2, “Treasure Island * ey calvi N ond HObb \ ARS, | | | | or 18251 at 09 9 "ra08s: ISBN 0-83b2-1825-b “There is a mystical quality to Bill Watterson’s work. What we have here is no mere comic strip. . . . Watterson the alchemist has conjured forth a work of subtlety, character, and depth far ‘out of proportion to his tender years. This book is magic.” — Pat Oliphant, from the Foreword fee ity * New York