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I

MY FAIR LADY
Adapted from Bernard Shaw's "Pygmalion" Book and Lyrics by ALAN JAY LERNER Music by FREDERICK LOEWE

Copyright © 1956 by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe Lyrics copyright @ 1956 by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe Chappell & Co., ~nc., New York publisher and owner of allied rights throughout the world International copyright secured Made in U.S.A. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED including exclusive right to perform Any copying, arranging or adapting without the consent of the owner is an infringement of copyright Lyrics included by arrangement with Chappell & Co., Inc. Caution: liMyFair Lady" is fully protected by copyright. It may not be acted either by professionals or amateurs without written consent. Public readings and radio and television broadcasts are forbidden.

Property of:

TAMS-WITMARK MUSIC LIBRARY, 560 Lexington Avenue New York, NY 10022 '212-688-2525

INC.

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CAST OF CHARACTERS (1) ELIZA DOOLITTLE* A cockney flower girl from Lisson Grove working outside Covent Garden. Her potential to become "a lady" becomes the object of a bet between Higgins and Pickering. Retired British officer with colonial experience and the author of"S~oken Sanskrit." A friend of Mrs. Higgins' Freddy's mother. Henry's long-suffering and

-'

(2) COLONEL

PICKERING*

(3) MRS. EYNSFORD-HILL (4) MRS. HIGGINS (5) HENRY HIGGINS*

mother.

British, upper class professional batchelor, world famous phonetics expert, teacher and author of "Higgins' Universal Alphabet." - Upper class young man who becomes completely smitten with Eliza. - Eliza's father; an elderly but vigorous dustman. George"works the Tottenham Court Road Pub. Drinking companion Doolittle. Drinking companion Doolittle. Henry Higgins' of Alfred of Alfred

(6) FREDDY EYNSFORD-HILL*

(7) ALFRED
(8)

P. DOOLITTLE*

BARTENDER

(9) HARRY *
(10)

JAMIE* MRS. PEARCE*

(11)

housekeeper.

(12) MRS. HOPKINS (13) PROF. ZOLTAN KARPATHY

A cockney woman of Tottenham Court. - A bearded phonetics Higgins. Hung-arian; former student of Henry

(14) A BYSTANDER

*

principal

vocal parts

Opening scene, (2 men) a Bystander with Another Bystander out$ide Covent Garden.

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(15) FIRST COCKNEY,

(16) SECOND COCKNEY, (17) THIRD COCKNEY - In Covent Garden Market; with a Fourth Cockney they form the male COCKNEY QUARTET.* Henry Higgins employee. Henry Higgins household house, non-speaking. Ascot

(18) BULTER
"

FOOTMAN

(19) LORD BOXINGTON LADY BOXINGTON (20) FLOWER GIRL (21) FOOTMAN FOOTMAN (22) SELSEY MAN (23) HOXTON MAN TWO MAIDS* THREE BUSKERS SIX SERVANTS

Friend of Mrs. Higgins, race patron.

At Ascot races, non-speaking. Working Embassy Embassy in Wimpole employee. employee, non-speaking. Street.

Opening scene, bystander outside Covent Garden. Opening scene, bystander outside Covent Garden. Henry Higgins non-speaking. household,

Street performers outside Covent Garden, non-speaking. Henry Higgins household, non-speaking chorus singers, S-S-A-A-T'-B. Ascot employees, non-speaking.

TWO STEWARDS SINGING & DANCING

ENSEMBLES - The Ascot Race patrons, Embassy Ball guests including The Queen of Transylvania-and her escort, the Ambassador and his wife and Dr. Themistocles Stephanos, Covent Garden scene Crowd, Tottenham Court crowd, etc. VARIOUS VOICES (Doubling roles with single spoken lines) ANGRY WOMAN - (Act I, Scene 2) ANGRY MAN - (Act I, Scene 2) CHARLES, Mrs. Higgins Chauffer - (Act I, Scene 6) POLICEMEN, Wimpole Street ~ (Act I, Scene 8) QUEEN OF TRANSYLVANIA - (Act I, Scene 10) MAID, Mrs. Higgins employee - (Act II, Scene 5)

HOUSE. HIGGINS' STUDY. Ev~ning six weeks 9: later. * * * . Later that evening. Scene 10: Scene 11: TRANSYLVANIAN EMBASSY Outside the Ballroom. Scene Scene Scene 3: 4: Scene Scene Scene Scene Scene 5: 6: 7: 8: OUTSIDE HIGGINS' Later that day. A cold March night. Immediately following. OUTSIDE ASCOT. Mid-day. Immediately following. A TENEMENT SECTION . Later that afternoon.4 SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT ONE Scene " 1: 2: OUTSIDE COVENT GARDEN. Later that evening. PROMENADE. THE BALLROOM OF THE EMBASSY. HIGGINS' STUDY. ASCOT. A July afternoon. HIGGINS' STUDY. WIMPOLE STREET. TENEMENT SECTION (Same as Act I. The next day. Scene 2).TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD. several weeks later.

HIGGINS' STUDY. (Same as Act I. that afternoon. HOUS~. * * * . 5:00 in the morning. Scene Scene Scene Scene 3: 4: 5: 6: Scene 7: * * * The place is London. Scene 8) Dusk. Scene 8). the time 1912. UPSTAIRS HALL OF HIGGINS' HOUSE.5 ACT TWO Scene Scene 1: 2: HIGGINS' STUDY. Immediately following. HIGGINSr Later that morning. OUTSIDE HIGGINS' HOUSE. Immediately following. FLOWER MARKET OF COVENT GARDEN. OUTSIDE HIGGINS' HOUSE. (Same as Act I. 3:00 the following morning. 11:00 the following morning. THE GARDEN OF MRS.

(Orchestra) 15.. "THE RAIN IN SPAIN" .(Orchestra) Scene Seven 11. INTRODUCTION TO PROMENADE .(FREDDY) Scene Nine 14. "JUST YOU WAIT" . ELIZA & PICKERING) 10. with HIGGINS.(Orchestra) Scepe One 2."I'M AN ORDINARY MAN" .(ELIZA) 8. and OPENING SCENE . "ON THE STREET WHERE YOU LIVE" . ELIZA'S ENTRANCE .(Orchestra. IIWOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLy?1I . "ASCOT GAVOTTE" .(Orchestra) HARRY Scene Five 7.(ELIZA with MRS. CHANGE OF SCENE .(ELIZA & ENSEMBLE) Scene Two 4. CHANGE OF SCENE . CHANGE OF SCENE . OVERTURE. KARPATHY & FULL ENSEMBLE) . CHANGE OF SCENE . REPRISE: "WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK" (DOOLITTLE and ENSEMBLE) 6A.(HIGGINS.6 MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT ONE 1. IIW~Y CAN'T THE ENGLISH?II . PICKERING.(Orchestra) Scene Ten 16. END OF GAVOTTE and BLACKOUT MUSIC .(DOOLITTLE. PEARCE and TWO MAIDS) lOA. and JAMIE) 4A.(HIGGINS) 5A. PROMENADE -(Orchestra) 17. "WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK" .(SIX SERVANTS) 9. "I COULD HAVE DANCED ALL NIGHT" .(Orchestra) Scene Four 6. THE SERVANTS' CHORUS .(FULL ENSEMBLE) 12. ELIZA. THE EMBASSY WALTZ .(HIGGINS) 3.(Orchestra) Scene Eight 13.(Orchestra) Scene Three 5 .

PICKERING.(HIGGINS & ELIZA) Scene Six 26. CHANGE OF SCENE . MRS. "SHOW ME" .(Orchestra) Scene One 19. EXIT MUSIC . "WITHOUT YOU" .(HIGGINS) - Scene Seven 27. "GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME" .(HIGGINS. CHANGE OF SCENE .(FREDDY) 20B. ~NTR'ACTE . THE FLOWER MARKET/REPRISE: "WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY" (ELIZA & COCKNEY MEN) 22. MUSIC FOR CURTAIN CALLS .(ELIZA & FREDDY) Scene Three 21.(Orchestra) 28. "YOU DID IT" . REPRISE: "ON THE STREET WHERE YOU LIVE" . REPRISE: "JUST YOU WAIT" .7 ACT 'l'WO 18. "I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO HER FACE" .(HIGGINS) 24A. PEARCE & THE SERVANTS) 20.(DOOLITTLE & ENSEMBLE) 23. "HYMN TO HIM" .(Orchestra) Scene Five 25.(Orchestra) Scene Four 24.(Orchestra) .(ELIZA) Scene Two 20A.

EYNSFORD-HILL and FREDDY are seen emerging from the crowd at UL and cross to DRC. The crowd separates and ELIZA DOOLITTLE is discovered on the ground L of C her basket . to dash along and find a taxi. THREE STREET ENTERTAINERS (BUSKERS) .OVERTURE: OPENING SCENE . The exit of the Opera House can be seen upstage..(Orchestra) ACT ONE Scene 1 SCENE: _' OUTSIDE After COVENT GARDEN.. Suddenly. some of the columns of St. There is a tenement house at Stage Left. There is a smudge-pot fire in front of the tenement.. Calls of "Taxi!" can be heard. Why don't you look where you're going? . There is a commotion. of Aaaooowww! ELIZA FREDDY (R of ELIZA. Paul's can be seen at Stage Right. HE is calling for one. The crowds that are leaving the Opera are frozen in action for a moment and then. in the hub-bub. A cry of "Aaaaaaooooow!" is heard. SHE is indicating to him. trying I'm frightfully sorry. As the curtain rises we are in the street before Covent Garden. with the lights coming up.are performing for the richly gowned and tailored crowd. flowers emptied around her. a cold March night. one of the BUSKERS does a cartwheel and crashes into him. to help HER) ELIZA (Wailing) Two bunches of violets trod in the mud.8 1-1-1 /1/ . they move towards the front. A full day's wages. TIME: AT RISE: theatre. MRS.

A WOMAN enters UL. ELIZA (Muttering to herself as SHE collects HER flowers) Two bundles of violets trod in the mud. he's your son. Freddy. X to UC) I'm sorry. Captain. Do you want me to catch pneumonia? FREDDY I'm sorry. you wouldn't let him spoil a poor girl's flowers and then run away without paying. EYNSFORD-HILL (Exiting UL) Go on about your business. EYNSFORD-HILL) Oh. if . if you'd done your duty by him as a mother should.stop: that's any use to you. take this for tuppence. Here. (HE exits UL. I'll get a taxi right away. dressed in evening clothes and looking for a taxi. EYNSFORD-HILL Will you get a taxi. (TWO COCKNEY MEN enter UR. PICKERING I haven't any change. MRS. PICKERING (Searches pockets) I really haven't any .9 1-1-2 MRS. a bit disheveled and XIS DR and off. mother. (At DLC) Taxi! PICKERING Taxi! ELIZA (To PICKERING) I say. HE XIS DLC) ELIZA (To MRS. is he? Well. ELIZA I can change half a crown. (To ELIZA) Sorry. buy a flower off a poor girl. COLONEL PICKERING enters UL. here's three hapence. my girl.

There's a bloke there behind the pillar taking down every blessed word you're saying. sir. but thinking three half-pence better than nothing) Thank you. you be careful ••.. mostly sympathetic to ELIZA) What's What's There's the row? ANOTHER BYSTANDER HOXTON MAN all the bloomin' noise? SELSEY MAN a tec takin' her down.Terrified) I ain't done nothin' wrong by speakin' to the gentleman. I've a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. (A BYSTANDER has been watching someone behind the C Pillar) BYSTANDER (Xes D to R of ELIZA) Here. They'll take away my character and drive me on the streets for speakin' to gentlemen. (There is a general hub-bub.Better give him a flower fer it. (EVERYONE is staring at the pillar as if someone is behind) ELIZA (To PICKERING) Oh.. so help me.. (The CROWD turns to look at pillar.to HIGGINS) On my Bible oath. you silly girl! ELIZA (Still hysterical . I never spoke to him except to ask him to buy a flower off me. don't let him charge me. . I never said a word . (PROFESSOR HIGGINS pivots around the post into view and Xes D to R of ELIZA) HIGGINS There! There! There! Who's hurting What do you take me for? you. I'm a respectable girl. You dunno what it means to me. sir. The HOXTON MAN Xes D from bench to DC) ELIZA (Rises .10 1-1-3 ELIZA (Disappointed.

. Oooooh. down at Selsey? SELSEY MAN (Suspiciously) Who told you my people corne from Selsey? HIGGINS Never mind.you wrote about me. ELIZA It's because I called him Captain. How do you corne to be up so far east? Lisson Grove. (HIGGINS opens HIS book and holds it before HER eyes) What's I can. They did. PICKERING I make no charge. He's a gentleman. I meant no harm. Xes to C pillar and sits on orange crate in front of pillar.11 1-1-4 HIGGINS (Overbearing. HIGGINS I can't read that.. picks up basket. sir.. if you are a detective. shut up. reproducing HER pronunciation) I say. . don't let him lay a charge agen me for a word like that. (Xes to L of HIGGINS) Really. HIGGINS And how are all your people Look at his boots. You . buy a flower off a poor girl. sir. (Xing to R of ELIZA). Do I look like a p6liceman? ELIZA Then what did you take down my words for? How do I know whether you took me down right? You just show me what. but good-humored) Oh. Captain. You were born in ELIZA (Appalled) what harm is there in my leaving Lisson Grove? (In tears. Anybody could see the girl meant no harm. Xing to CS. (HE Xes DR) Charge! SELSEY MAN (Xing to L of HIGGINS) He ain't a tec. (Reads. you need not begin protecting me against molestation by young women until I ask you. that? That ain't proper writing. shut up. (To PICKERING) Oh.

Blimey. Indicating PICKERING) Tell him 'where he comes'from. Oh.Cheltenham. you have a right to live where you please. come! He can't touch you. that's what he is. (X ANOTHER BYSTANDER (Xing D from UR to HIGGiNS. but stop that noise. and I had to pay £our-and-six a week. boo-hoo-oo HIGGINS DL) Live where you like. Harrow. HOXTON MAN] who are grouped at UL) ELIZA (Continued) It wasn't fit for a pig to live in.good girl. he's a bloomin' busybody. ANOTHER BYSTANDER SELSEY MAN. who'said I didn't. you do. Cambridge and India.12 1-1-5 The CROWD has dispersed leaving only the FOUR BYSTANDERS [BYSTANDER. 2 BYSTANDERS & SELSEY MAN exit UR. you know everything. ELIZA (To herself) I'm a . (With pad in hand. lam. (Xing DC) HOXTON MAN DL) Well. (X D to R of HOXTON MAN) HIGGINS (Staring at PICKERING) . HE listens to the accents coming from the men grouped around the bench) (X ~ PICKERING (Xing to R of ELIZA) Come. he ain't a tec. HOXTON MAN exits DL) . Quite right. HOXTON MAN Do you know where I come from? HIGGINS Hoxton. if you want to go fortune telling. PICKERING BYSTANDER Blimey. (THEY all disperse.

I. Anyone 'can spot an Irishman or a Yorkshireman by his brogue. ELIZA (Feebly) I've a right to be here if I like. Remember and the divine gift language is the the Bible. do you do this sort of thing for a living on the music halls? (The stage is now clear except for HIGGINS and PICKERING at CS. I can place him within two miles in London. same as you. Woman! Cease this detestable boohooing instantly. with a poor girl. seek the shelter of some other place of worship. The science of speech. (X front of PICKE~ING to C Pillar) Sometimes within two streets. ELIZA on the orange crate in front of C pillar. Perhaps He's no gentleman. ELIZA he ain't. if I may ask? HIGGINS Simple phonetics. Ought to be ashamed ELIZA of himself. HIGGINS A woman who utters such depressing and has no right to be anywhere . and the FOUR COCKNEYS grouped about the smudgepot at stage L) HIGGINS I have thought of that. and leave a poor girl ELIZA Let him mind his 6wn business HIGGINS (Explosively) .. HIGGINS Quite a fat one. yes. I will someday. unmanly coward! PICKERING But is there a living in that? Oh. That's my profession: also my hobby . . and pigeon. that your native language of Shakespeare and Milton and don't sit there crooning like a bilious or else disgusting noises to live. to interfere PICKERING How do you do it.13 1-1-6 PICKERtNG (As the groups leave) May I ask. sir.no right that you are a human being with a soul of articulate speech.can place a man within six miles.

DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL? WHATYA COCKNEY TIKE ME FER. SPEAKING ENGLISH ANYWAY THEY LIKE. NOT HER WRETCHED CLOTHES AND DIRTY FACE. a poor example. A FOOL? HIGGINS (X to R of PICKERING) HIGGINS NO ONE TAUGHT HIM "TAKE" INSTEAD OF "TIKE. . sir. HEAR A CORNISHMAN CONVERSE. ELIZA HIGGINS (X DR) what a noise! (Sings) THIS IS WHAT THE BRITISH POPULATION CALLS AN ELEMENT'RY EDUCATION. to COCKNEY) YOU. JUST LIKE THIS ONE." (X to L of PICKERING) HEAR A YORKSHIREMAN. sir what sort of word is that? IT'S "AOOOWIl AND "GARN" THAT KEEP HER IN HER PLACE. I think you picked Did I? HEAR THEM DOWN IN SOHO SQUARE. I'D RATHER HEAR A CHOIR SINGING FLAT! (X front of PICKERING to L of ELIZA) CHICKENS CACKLING IN A BARN. OR WORSE. PICKERING Come. (Spoken) FOR THE COLD-BLOODED MURDER OF THE ENGLISH TONGUE! A-o-o-o-wl Aoooow! Heavens. SIR.14 1-1-7 ELIZA Aooooooooow! "WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH" HIGGINS LOOK AT HER. (X to bench DL. Garn! ELIZA HIGGINS Garn! I ask you. BY RIGHTS SHE SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND HUNG. DROPPING AITCHES EV'RYWHERE. CONDEMNED BY EV'RY SYLLABLE SHE UTTERS. A PRIS'NER OF THE GUTTERS.

WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH LEARN TO (X DL) SET A GOOD EXAMPLE TO PEOPLE WHOSE ENGLISH IS PAINFUL TO YOUR EARS? THE SCOTCH AND THE IRISH LEAVE YOU CLOSE TO TEARS. . WHY. in six months I could pass her off as a duchess at an Embassy Ball. THE HEBREWS LEARN IT BACKWARDS.YOU SPOKE AS SHE DOES. SIR. I could even get her a place as a lady's maid pr shop assistant. ONE COMMON LANGUAGE I'M AFRAID WE'LL NEVER GET. IN FRANCE EV'RY FRENCHMAN KNOWS HIS LANGUAGE FROM "A" TO "ZED" (Aside) The French never care what they do.. as long as they pronounce it properly. D to DC) (2 measure orchestra response) In America. WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH . INSTEAD OF THE WAY YOU DO. I beg your pardon! . TOO. YOU MIGHT BE SELLING FLOWERS. which requires better English.. WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH (The music ends) LEARN TO SPEAK? Ybu see this creature with her curb-stone English. OH. (X to R of PICKERING CS) BUT USE PROPER ENGLISH.Well. THE GREEKS ARE TAUGHT THEIR GREEK. WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FRIGHT'NING. the English that will keep her in the gutter to the end of her days? . THE MOMENT HE TALKS HE MAKES SOME OTHER ENGLISHMAN DESPISE HIM.15 1-1-8 HIGGINS (Continued) WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH TEACH THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO SPEAK? THIS VERBAL CLASS DISTINCTI0N BY NOW SHOULD BE ANTIQUE." PICKERING HIGGINS AN ENGLISHMAN'S WAY OF SPEAKING ABSOLUTELY CLASSIFIES HIM. (X UC. (X (X DR) ARABIANS LEARN ARABIAN WITH THE SPEED OF SUMMER LIGHTNING. actually. YOU'RE REGARDED AS A FREAK. sir. THERE EVEN ARE PLACES WHERE ENGLISH COMPLETELY DISAPPEARS. IF. (PICKERING meets HIGGINS DLC) they haven't used it for years! CS) WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH TEACH THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO SPEAK? NORWEGIANS LEARN NORWEGIAN.

Captain? (SHE has directed. I could pass you off as (Lifts HER hat to get a look at HER face) the Queen of Sheba.. you incarnate insult to the En~lish language. HIGGINS Are you? Do you know Colonel "Spoken Sanskrit"? I am Colonel Taxi. .16 1-1-9 ELIZA (Rises. Pickering. meeting PICKERING I was going to India to meet you! PICKERING (Extending HIS hand) HIGGINS DLC) Higgins! .Pd. anything is possible. PICK~RING (Taking a step to HIGGINS) I came from India to meet you! HIGGINS (Taking a step. what's that you"'say? HIGGINS (Turns to HER) Yes. this at PICKERI~G) PICKERING I myself am a student of (Stops. you disgrace to the noble architecture of these columns. X to R of HIGGINS) Here. Henry Higgins.nq l (THEY shake hands) Where are you staying? At the Carleton. the author of PICKERING Pickering. well. HIGGINS author of "Higgins' Universal Alphabet". turns) Oh. Indian dialects. Taxi! Aooow! PICKERING (X DL) ELIZA You don't believe that. you squashed cabbage leaf. Who are you.cke r i.. PICKERING .

I'm short for my lodging. SHE now picks the coins out one by one. PICKERING Did you know there are over two hundred? Do you know them all? HIGGINS it's worse than London. (HE throws some coins into ELIZA's basket. (THEY are gone) ELIZA (Stunned through all this at HER good fortune. you ought. (Shoves HER basket at HIM) Take the whole bloomin' basket for sixpence! (The CHURCH strikes TWO BELLS) Here! HIGGINS (HE raises HIS hat solemnly) Ah. The church.ELIZA You ought to be stuffed with nails. Right you are. you're not. exclaiming happily at each coin) Aooow! Aoooow! AOoooow! (X to bench) Aoooooooow! (The music punctuates each exclamation) FIRST COCKENY (With a sweep of HIS hat) Shouldn't you stand up. You're staying at 27-A Wimpole Come with me and we'll have a jaw over supper. I have records of over fifty. . As HE and PICKERING exit UR) Indian dialects have always fascinated me. By George.17 1-1-10 HIGGINS (Xing to UL with PICKERING) No. now. ~ Street. kind sir. PICKERING EL1ZA (Stopping them at L of C Pillar) Buy a flower. Have you. A reminder. Liar! HIGGINS (X D to R of HER) You said you could change half a crown . gentlemen? We've got a bloomin' heiress in our midst! .

THIRD COCKENY THE MISSUS WANTS TO OPEN UP THE CASTLE IN CAPRI. WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY? OH. OH. WITH ONE ENORMOUS CHAIR. sits on orange crate) LOTS OF CHOC'LATE FOR ME TO EAT. MMMMMM! MMMMMM ! MMMMM! (Rises) (With a cough) THE COCKNEY QUARTET WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY! (ELIZA Xes D to C Pillar) Where're THIRD COCKNEY ya bound for this spring. snaps heels) for a good butler. OH. Eliza? ELIZA You won't do. WARM FACE. WITH ONE ENORMOUS CHAIR. FAR AWAY FROM THE COLD NIGHT AIR. WHO TAKES GOOD CARE OF ME. LOTS OF COAL MAKIN' LOTS OF HEAT. OH. Eliza? Biarritz? ELIZA (At pillar) ALL I WANT IS A ROOM SOMEWHERE. WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY? LOVERLY! LOVERLY! LOVERLY! LOVERLY! STILL! THE QUARTET (As ELIZA Xes to them) ALL I WANT IS A ROOM SOMEWHERE. I THINK I'LL TAKE ME TO PAREE. WARM HANDS. SO LOVERLY SITTIN' ABSOBLOOMIN'LUTELY I WOULD NEVER BUDGE 'TILL SPRING CREPT OVER ME WINDERSILL. (SECOND COCKNEY twirling moustache) /3/ " "WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY" SECOND COCKENY IT'S RATHER DULL IN TOWN. WARM FEET. FAR AWAY FROM THE COLD NIGHT AIR. WARM AND TENDER AS HE CAN BE. SOMEONE'S HEAD RESTIN' ON MY KNEE. WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY? (X D. OH. WOULDN'T ELIZA IT BE LOVERLY? .18 1-1-11 Would you be lookin' SECOND COCKNEY (Rises. MMMMM! FIRST COCKNEY ME DOCTOR RECOMMENDS A QUIET SUMMER BY THE SEA.

19 1-1-12 ALL LOTS OF CHOC'LATE FOR ME TO EAT. WOULDN'T LOVERLYI ELIZA IT BE LOVERLY! THE MEN AS ELIZA THE MEN ELIZA IT BE LOVERLY? THE MEN STILL! _' . OH. WARM FEET. SO LOVERLY SITTIN' ABSOBLOOMIN'LUTELY I WOULD NEVER BUDGE. THE MEN OVER ME WINDER. WARM ·FACE. SOMEONE'S HEAD RESTIN' ON MY KNEE. WARM HANDS. LOTS OF COAL MAKIN' LOTS OF HEAT. ELIZA OH. WOULDN'T LOVERLY! LOVERLY! LOVERLY! (DANCE) (THE MEN WHISTLE A FULL CHORUS THE DANCE IS PLAYED) OH. WARM AND TENDER AS SHE CAN BE. TILL SPRING CREPT OVER ME WINDERSILL. ALL WHO TAKES GOOD CARE OF ME. WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY? (With tenor obligato) OH.

.20 1-1-13 ELIZA LOVERLYI THE MEN LOVERLYI ELIZA (As THEY ALL warm their hands by the fire) LOVERLYI _.

I give her the greatest gift any human being can give to another: Life! I introduced her to this here planet. Doolittle. Later that evening. a tenement at RS. GEORGE is in of it. Come on. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD. DOOLITTLE (X out of Pub to CS) Thanks for your hospitality. in the Pub and is seen evicting the Pub. and the moon that glows.ACT ONE Scene 2 21 1-2-14 SCENE: TIME: AT" RISE: TENEMENT SECTION. Loves her? months. She ought to be good for half a crown for her father what loves her. On the double. with all its wonders and marvels. On the double. (The BARTENDER Xes into Pub. HARRY across the stage front of Pub and L BARTENDER I ain't runnin' no charity bazaar. George. There is a Pub at LS. (X DRC) . calling in. Doolittle. DOOLITTLE Xes to between HARRY and JAMIE) Well. Alfie. This loverly world with the sun that shines. You ain't been near her for DOOLITTLE What's that got to do with it? all I've give her? What's half a crown after JAMIE When did you ever give her anything? DOOLITTLE Anything? I gave her everything. the Bartender HARRY and JAMIE from and JAMIE are thrown to DL. Drinks is to be paid for or not drunk. Out you go. JAMIE I guess it's home we go. HARRY That's a laugh. There is a commotion GEORGE. DOOLITTLE Home? What do you want to go home for? Eliza should be along in a few minutes. I did. Send the bill to Buckingham Palace. Hop it now.

I'm willing to marry her. George! ELIZA (From door) But don't keep comin' around countin' on half crowns from me! (SHE exits as ALFIE Xes U and calls to HER) Goodnight. flips it in air. (Gives him coin. Eliza. indeed! HER exit) have the heart to a bit of liquid DOOLITTLE It's me that suffers by Well. slip your old Dad half a crown to go home on. you better have a good story to go with it. I'll take off my belt and give her what for. ELIZA (Takes coin out of basket. Just because I it. I give her all that. X DRC as HARRY whistles to ALFIE that SHE is here) Eliza! DOOLITTLE What a surprise! ELIZA (Passes HIM to go UL) Not a brass farthing. Alfie. (ELIZA enters UC. Eliza. but if you want that half a crown from Eliza. Eliza. Xes to house UL) HARRY (Calls into Pub from across as DOOLITTLE grins happily) Three glorious beers! stage Well. Ha! ELIZA Stepmother. and then I disappears and leaves her on her own to enjoy it. Eliza! DOOLITTLE You're a noble daughter! . Come on. The whole ruddy city of London to roam about in sellin' her bloomin' flowers. (X to JAMIE) . preventing Now you look here. catches it) I had a bit of luck myself tonight. DOOLITTLE (Grabbing HER arm. now would you? Stepmother. You wouldn't send me home to your stepmother without protection.22 1-2-15 (DOOLITTLE (Continued) Hyde Park to walk through on a fine Spring night. aint' her lawful husband. o JAMIE You got a good heart. Now if that ain't worth half a crown now and again. So here. I'm a slave to that woman.

and out UC) WITH A LITTLE BIT. YOU'LL NEVER WORK! DOOLITTLE (Stopping them at Pub) THE LORD ABOVE MADE LIQUOR FOR TEMPTATION. THE LORD ABOVE MADE LIQUOR FOR TEMPTATION. BUT. HARRY & DOOLITTLE (Dancing to Pub) WITH A LITTLE BIT. HARRY X D to L of HIM. TO SEE IF MAN COULD TURN AWAY FROM SIN. I told you not to go home! It's just Faith. BUT.JAMIE. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. Hope and a little bit of Luck! /4/ ~ "WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK" DOOLITTLE THE LORD ABOVE GAVE MAN AN ARM OF IRON. JAMIE to R of HIM) OH. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. staring happily at coin) You see. BUT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. SOMEONE ELSE'LL DO THE BLINKIN' WORK! THE TRIO . WITH A LITTLE BIT. THE GENTLE SEX WAS MADE FOR MAN TO MARRY. BUT WITH A LITLE BIT OF LUCK YOU'LL RUN AMUCK! THE GENTLE SEX WAS MADE FOR MAN TO MARRY. WHEN TEMPTATION COMES. YOU'LL GIVE RIGHT IN! THE TRIO (Doing can-can. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. ALFIE Xes into Pub. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. THE LORD ABOVE GAVE MAN AN ARM OF IRON. YOU CAN WALK THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. SO HE COULD DO HIS JOB AND NEVER SHIRK.23 1-2-16 DOOLITTLE (Continued) (HE Xes D to R of HARRY and JAMIE. TO SHARE HIS NEST AND SE~ HIS FOOD IS COOKED. boys. YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL AND NOT GET HOOKED. . YOU'LL GIVE RIGHT IN! DOOLITTLE (Xing DC. WITH A LITTLE BIT.

WITH A LITTLE BIT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOMIN' LUCK! (THEY FREEZE) ANGRY WOMAN (Sticking head out of tenement window) Shut your face down there! HOw's a woman supposed get her rest. OR FOAM. boys. (HE mouths the next two lines. shut up! the to DOOLITTLE 'Ere. OR SEA. whispering) WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. WITH A LITTLE BIT. DOOLITTLE Xes to DR) I'm tryin' to keep 'em quiet.that's no way to talk to a lady! (X to CS) (HARRY and JAMIE join HIM CS) We've got to be neighborly-like. lady! Shut up! ANGRY MAN Once and for all. DOOLITTLE (HARRY and JAMIE have hidden behind tenement. roaring) WHEN HE COMES AROUND YOU WON'T BE HOME! JAMIE. After all: (Sings) THE LORD ABOVE MADE MAN TO HELP HIS NEIGHBOR. 'ere . NO MATTER WHERE. BUT. HARRY & DOOLITTLE (DOOLITTLE conducting the others) WITH A LITTLE BIT.24 1-2-17 (Dancing WITH A LITTLE WITH A LITTLE YOU WON'T GET THE TRIO to DL) BIT. WITH A LITTLE BIT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. THE LORD ABOVE MADE MAN TO HELP HIS NEIGHBOR. YOU WON'T BE HOME! / . HOOKED! (Xing in chain dance) WITH A LITTLE BIT. ON LAND. (Sings. BIT OF LUCK.

SHE WON'T FIND OUT! WITH A LITTLE BIT. yelling at houses as ALFIE does impromptu tap dance at LC) WITH A LITTLE BIT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. (HE'turns L and kicks his leg in can-can style) OH. WITH A LITTLE BIT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOMIN' LUCK! (THEY end with JAMIE and HARRY at DRC holding a pose pointing at DOOLITTLE ALFIE continues his dance.(Orchestra) (In the darkness a voice (on record) is heard practicing vowel sounds. WITH A LITTLE BIT. IT'S A CRIME FOR MAN TO GO PHILAND'RIN' AND FILL HIS WIFE'S POOR HEART WITH GRIEF AND DOUBT. WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. As DOOLITTLE dances at DLC the curtains close quickly and the music continues into the tag) /4A/ CHANGE OF SCENE . It continues in seemingly endless monotony) . WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. IT'S A CRIME FOR MAN TO GO PHILAND'RIN'. YOU CAN SEE THE BLOODHOUND DON'T FIND OUT! THE TRIO (Xing u~ and around. A MAN CAN DUCK! (HE ducks.25 1-2-18 DOOLITTLE (Arms on their shoulders) THEY'RE ALWAYS THROWIN' GOODNESS AT YOU. BUT. ! . BUT WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK. hand on hip) OH. X to DR.

and much recording apparatus. Higgins. a window looking out over the city. Nonsense. a central switch for all three. MRS. PICKERING's voice is heard. PEARCE appears in the UC door) Mr. continue.Mrs. PEARCE A young woman wants to see you. from the direction of the wing chair DR) PICKERING couldn't we turn on the lights? in the dark. including three turntables. (MRS.26 1-3-19 ACT ONE Scene 3 SCENE: HIGGINS' STUDY " There is a staircase at one side leading up to a landing. two downstairs doors. HIGGINS (Turns machine A young woman! (X to light switch UC) What does she want? (Snaps on lights) Has she an i~teresting accent? off) . The next day. large old-fashioned horns about. sir. Higgins. After a bit more of these souhds. I'm quite done up for this afternoon. PEARCE are you there? HIGGINS What is it. There is a bird-cage UC. HIGGINS you hear much better PICKERING But it's a fearful strain listeni~g to all those vowel sounds. Pearce? (HE turns down the volume of the machine) MRS. The room is in total darkness. The vowel sounds into which the cries at DOOLITTLE in the preceding scene have segued. TIME: AT RISE: I say. and a xylophone.

Higgins cares what you came in? like ELIZA Oh. nol . PEARCE Very well. (X to C machine. and studies them) ELIZA (X to L of sofa) Don't you be so saucy. PEARCE (Enters. (To MRS. looks about room in awe as HIGGINS Xes to HER for a closer look) HIGGINS Oh. PEARCE) Did you tell him I come in a taxi? MRS. (HE pulls the cylinder out of the machine. then in Broad Romic. HIGGINS (To PICKERING) Let's have her up. stands by R of door) This is the young woman. I heard him say so. PICKERING rises by R of wing chair waiting for the girl) MRS.. (ELIZA enters. You ain't heard what I come for yet. sir. . (HIGGINS Xes back to desk.27 1-3-20 MRS. gets cylinder and puts it in roller in machine) and then we'll get her on the phonograph so that you can turn her on as often as you like with the written transcript before you. not him. and I'll take her down in Bell's Visible Speech. Pearce. She's no use: I've got all the records I want of the Lisson Grove lingo. MRS. gets charts. sir. PEARCE Oh. I ain't come here to ask for any compliment. we are proud! He ain't above givin' lessons. PEARCE Nonsense. places it down. Xes to desk) Be off with you. sir. We'll set her talking.. HE Xes up into library. something dreadful. Mrs. Show her up. J (SHE Exits DC door) HIGGINS (Xes to desk. I'll show you how I make records. nods to PICKERING. It's for you to say. and if my money's not good enough I can go elsewher~. gets book and pencil) This is rather a bit of luck. this is the girl I jotted down last night. and I'm not going to waste another cylinder on it. girl! What do you think a gentleman Mr. Well. I don't want you! (After throwing book and pencil on desk.

.and he treats me as if I was dirt. make no mistake. here I am ready to pay . HIGGINS ELIZA Oh. puts charts down. To PICKERING) I want to be a lady in a flower shop instead of sellin' flowers at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. I think. or a baggage when I've offered PICKERING But what is it you want? ELIZA (X D to front of sofa. HIGGINS (Xing to L of HER) How much? ELIZA (Turning to HIM) Now you're talkin'! I thought you'd corne off it when you saw a chance of getting back a bit of what you chucked at me last night. too. you might ask me to sit down. don't ya? I've corne to have lessons. . You'd had a drop in. and I'm ready to pay. HIGGINS (X to behind desk. hadn't ya? Sit down. Don't I tell you I'm bringing you business? HIGGINS (Calling across room) Pickering: shall we ask this baggage shall we throw her out of the window. Well. sits) What do you expect me to say? We1llll ELIZA If you was a gentleman.. And to pay for them. if you're going to make a compliment of it . Now you know.D to:L of HER) Good enough for what? ELIZA (Turning to HIM) Good enough for you. I have. to sit down. He said he could teach me.not askin' any favor . ELIZA Aoooowl I won't be called to pay like any lady. I know what lessons cost. But then won't take me unless I can talk more genteel.28 1-3-21 HIGGINS (Xing.

29 1-3-22 HIGGINS (Xes to desk. A lady friend of mine gets French lessons for heighteenpence an hour from a real French gentleman. and turns machine on) PICKERING ELIZA again) on Sit down. to touch your money. I ain't got sixty pounds. gets pad and pencil (Xes to C machine.. " (X to R of ELIZA) PICKERING Won't you sit down. Nobody is going . you silly girl.. but as a percentage of this girl's income. Xes D to L of sofa) How much do you propose to pay me for the lessons? ELIZA Oh. it's the biggest offer I ever had. MRS. HIGGINS Oh. ELIZA (Close to tears) But. in great amazement) Sixty pounds! What are you talkin' about? I never offered you sixty pounds! Where would I get . I know what's right. HIGGINS (Xes behind sofa to L of PICKERING) You know. so I won't give more than a shilling. Take it or leave it. if you consider a shilling. Miss Doolittle? ELIZA Oh. you wouldn't have the face to ask me the same for teaching me my own language as you would for French... it works out as fully equivalent to sixty or seventy pounds from a millionaire. What is your name? Eliza Doolittle. Sit down. By George. PEARCE Dont' cry. not as a simple shilling. ELIZA (Rises. puts cylinder roller. Oh . Well. (SHE sits on sofa) HIGGINS (Pantomiming to PICKERING that the recording machine is on. I don't mind if I do. Pickering. hold your tongue.

you're real good. I'll be worse than two fathers to you. Thank you. Don't mistake the one for the other if you wish to become a lady in a shop. Xes DL. sit down.30 1-3-23 HIGGINS Somebody is going to touch you with a broomstick. PICKERING follows) . HIGGINS (X to behind sofa) It's almost irresistible. I did. To wipe any part of your face that feels moist. She's so deliciously (X to R of sofa) so horribly dirty! low - ELIZA ~oooow! I ain't dirty: I washed my face and hands afore I come. ELIZA Oh. don't stop snivelling~ Now. and that's your sleeve. I'll take it! guttersnipe! HIGGINS I'll make a duchess of this draggle-tailed .~ I'll bet you all the expenses of the experiment you can't do it. Remember: (Pointing to each) That's your handkerchief. throws pad and pencil on desk. Captain. Here(HE Offers HER HIS silk handkerchief) What's this for? EILZA HIGGINS To wipe your eyes. (X to front of desk) PICKERING (X behind sofa to R of HIGGINS) Higgins. (ELIZA sits) Aoooow! J if you ELIZA One would think you was my father! (SHE characteristically wipes HER sleeve over HER nose) HIGGINS (Xing behind to L of sofa) If I decide to teach you. I'm interested. And I'll even pay for the lessons. (HIGGINS in thought. What about your boast that you could pass her off as a duchess at the Embassy Ball? I'll say you're the greatest teacher alive if you can make that good.

I will! MRS. Take her away. ELIZA (X to R of HIGGINS) You're no gentleman. Higgins. ELIZA I'll call the police. If I did not express myself clearly it was because I did not wish to hurt her delicacy. PEARCE) Take her away. Mrs. Ring up and order some new ones. I never had the slightest intention of walking over anybody. Pearce. from machine) A MRS. Wrap her up in brown paper 'till they come. to talk of such things. PEARCE (X to R of sofa) You must be reasonabl~. PEARCE DR) If she gives you any trouble. Pearce. Higgins! PICKERING Be reasonable. You HIGGINS (Turns front) I walk over everybody? My dear Mrs. You've got to learn to behave like a duchess. now! this moment! (Pulls HER up. (Pushes ELIZA to MRS. and clean her.31 1-3-24 Aooooow! ELIZA HIGGINS I'll start today. removes record Put her in the dustbin. Sandpaper if it won't come off any other way. can't walk over everybody like this. ELIZA Aoooow! Oh come. I am. PEARCE But I've no place to put her. All I propose is that we should be kind to this poor girl. or yours. I'm a good girl. and I know what the likes of you are. . I do. young woman. really you must. Is there a good fire in the kitchen? Yes: but-MRS. "you're not. HIGGINS (X DC. Pearce. HIGGINS We want none of your slum prudery here. wallop her. PEARCE HIGGINS Take all her clothes off and burn them. Mrs. Mr. passes HER to MRS. my dear Pickering.

and U to door) Oh. PEARCE I won't allow it. Why not? HIGGINS MRS. the streets will be strewn with the bodies of men shooting themselves for your sake before I've done with you. PEARCE But.32 1-3-25 MRS. HIGGINS There you are. am I? Very well. you needn't order the new clothes for her. Pearce. you cant' take a girl up like that as if you were picking up a pebble on the beach. Mrs. Take her upstairs and -- . (HE snatches HIS handkerchief back. (SHE Xes to UC door) I don't want no balmies teachin' me. Xes D to wing chair) Throw her out! Stop. "She ain't got no parents. ELIZA Garn! There! (Front) HIGGINS As the girl very properly ELIZA about her! What says: Garn! (Giggling) Who'd marry me? HIGGINS (X to L of ELIZA) By George. Here! HIGGINS (Xes behind wing chair. Go home to your ELIZA I ain't got no parents. Higgins! parents. Eliza. girl. indeed! I'm mad." What's all the fuss about? The girl doesn't belong to anybody. he is. PEARCE Why not? But you don't know anything about her parents? (Turns to ELIZA) She may be married. Mr. MRS. and she's no use to anybody but me. ELIZA I'm goin' away! He's off his chump. sir.

sir. I must know on what terms the girl is to be here. Have you. I don't think so.33 1-3-26 MRS. holds them before HER) Have some chocolates. ELIZA (X to L of HIGGINS) you are a brute. no! No! Not any feelings that we need bother about. taking step to HIM) Oh. do be sensible. Higgins. you've no feelin' heart in you: you don't care for nothing but yourself. Eliza? MRS. you're a gentleman. sir. HIGGINS Well. sir. HIGGINS leaps on the platform and grabs HER arm) Eliza! HIGGINS (Leads HER down to below secretary. It's a lie. What is to become of her when you've finished your teaching? You must look ahead a little. Mrs. don't let him speak to me like that! oh. takes chocolates off mantel. Mr. • PICKERING Does it occur to you. and then it will be her own business again. HIGGINS What's to become of her if I leave her in the gutter? Answer me that. PEARCE But what's to become of her? Is she to be paid anything? Oh. that the girl has some feelings? HIGGINS Oh. when I've done with her. ELIZA Oh. She'll only drink if you give her money. HIGGINS What on earth will she want with money? She'll have her food and her clothes. ELIZA How do I know what might be in them? I've heard of girls being drugged by the like of you. I'm going. Here! I've had enough of this. so that's all right. we can throw her back into the gutter. . not yours. Higgins. P~ARCE Mr. (Puts glasses on and peers at HER) Oh. no. Higgins.. (To PICKERING. PEARCE That's her own business. (SHE starts to the UC door. Pearce? MRS. nobody ever saw the sign of liquor on me.

Higgins . I'm a No! good girl. If the King finds out you're not a lady. only I'm too ladylike it out of me mouth. PICKERING Excuse me. beautifully dressed. Pearce with a broomstick. (SHE opens her mouth in retort. If you are not found out. I am. PEARCE) Could I put it more plainly or fairly. At the end of six months you shall go to Buckingham Palace in a carriage. HIGGINS stuffs the chocolate in HER mouth) You shall have boxes of them.34 1-3-27 HIGGINS Pledge of good faith. eh? ELIZA (Speaking with a mouthful) I wouldn't have ate it. Mis. to take and taxis. wicked girl. every day. you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully. and the angels will weep for you. To MRS. she must understand thoroughly what she's doing! HIGGINS (HE walks a few steps in thought and turns to HER suddenly) Eliza. I eat one half . you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. You shall live on them. Pearce is quite right. If you're good and do whatever you're told. MRS. Pickering? (PICKERING turns upstage with a hopeless shrug. you shall sleep in a proper bedr-oom and have lots to eat.•. you will be taken by the Police to the Tower of London where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls. and gold. and be walloped by Mrs. Eliza. Think of chocolates. If you refuse this offer you will be the most ungrateful. If you're naughty and idle you will sleep in the back kitchen among the black beetles. ELIZA (At top of balcony. Eliza. HIGGINS (Leading HER up the stairs) Think of it. PEARCE X to front of wing chair) I don't want no gold and no diamonds. (HE does) you eat the other. and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. If this girl is to put herself in your hands for six months for an experiment in teaching. Pearce? . (To PICKERING) Now are you satisfied.•• ! But I really must interfere! Mrs. like a lady in a florist's shop. and diamonds. barrels of them.