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ButtRash #3

ButtRash #3

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Published by dailycow
B&W posters from a 1990's zine. Advice to a HS graduate and a clown letter. In pdf format, 24 pages
B&W posters from a 1990's zine. Advice to a HS graduate and a clown letter. In pdf format, 24 pages

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Categories:Types, Graphic Art
Published by: dailycow on Mar 17, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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03/17/2012

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ISSUE NO.

J *SUMMER

1998 *$1

Images and Information For the Non-Conforming Conformist

We have been ingesting mushrooms again without a field guide ...
Our cud is chewed to a frazzle and the roof of our mouth has caved in after twenty-five years of wear and tear. How can you get off when you no longer know what you are on? The world has lost its marbles so we sit down in a greasy spoon and slurp a bowl of clam chowder. Where is the winning streak that rolls us into fields of green? The spice of our genetic life is quickly being taken over by public servants hell-bent on exterminating our original ideas and always proving us wrong. We stick our tongue out and get cold-cocked by facts. The left synapses in my brain have been rendered useless. Unknown hormones rage within my body and leak out from my eyes, ears, nose and throat. The doctor is in big trouble again and tells me that x-rays don't lie. The sun sets in a pool of radiation as another fetus gets on the train that never stops. When will we tire of reproducing? When will we see that enough is enough? Humans have laid too much track and if you don't let me off soon I'm going to vomit these painkillers all over your new shoes. Please be advised that beings from other planets do not look unlike you or me. This is the crux of the problem-they blend in so well. It could be you, it could be me.... Stop telling us lies about the obvious.

I

. These pages were constructed in between having various cows. In the days ahead we will . leave our residence of ten years where the spirit of the cow lived daily inside of us. We hope to transplant the cow but it may be too huge an undertaking. Spirits do not take well to a change of venue. Welcome to Buttrash #3. An irregular publication from a regular guy. Beware of paper cuts and any openings in the brain.

The publisher is not responsible. Never has been, never will be....

How About Some Tongue!

,...

The Spirit Is In All Things.

~

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Plattts, At1itMals,Rocks, Water. Evet1your cotMputer has a spirit at1d whet1 it crashes, it is tMerely respot1dit1gto your t1egative thoughts.
So it's vour fault.
REFRlED BASICS SPILL THE BE-J.YS

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hard drive (zip it), memory (forget it), user-friendly? (bash it), motherboard (uh huh), refresh rate (aah), modem (down), printer (dot matrix, laser, inkjet, pencil), code (binary), screen saver (honk if vou detest Bill), cursor (damn), . • random access memory (RAM), sound card (what"), point & click (not polite), \VWW (world wide waste), bytes! (owwl), windows (shut out the competition); keyboard (let your fingers do the walking), software (be sure to change it everyday),

MOUSE-RAT

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EVERY liNGLE PERION ON PLANET EARTH HAD TO BE POTTY TRAINED.

If All The Worldls A Stage Where Does The Audience Sit?

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CHANCE SUCKERS!!

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If All Americans Were Melted Into One Person, That Person Would Be

73% White, 12%Black, 11%Hispanic, 3% Asian,
Less Than 1%Native Atnerican!

ADVICE
June 1998

Dear PHS Graduate:
You have graduated from high school but not from life. No one can ever graduate from life. This life of bones, blood, breath and brain is an on-going experience of learning, love, pain and opportunity. Remember as you go on from here to do your best and not to care what others think of you but rather be at peace with what you do with your life. There will be good days and bad days. Enjoy the good days and try to learn from the bad days. You will have many decisions in the coming years. Think things through and the results will most likely be in your favor. Remember that we all make mistakes and cannot be expected to make the right decision every time. Beware of those who promise an easy path (the road to nowhere), the quick dollar and the worship of materialism. What is worthwhile in life comes with patience and hard work. This is exemplified by self-honesty, a strong character and an unfailing spirit when your lust for life seems to be dead. You will get nothing by doing nothing. Friends will come and friends will go. Seek out those who enrich your intellect, activate your sense of fun and those who you can share your innermost thoughts with. A friend is one who goes that extra mile with you. A friend does not leave you stranded without gas and your tires flat. In seeking love first seek understanding of self; know thyself and you will find that certain someone who is seeking you. Love yourself and you will be loved by others. You have reached one plateau in your life; there are many more to come. Be yourself and have confidence in your abilities to do what you dream to do. My heartfelt congratulations and may you have many happy days to come. Your Friend,

David

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"Some Say Life Is A Gas, I Just Let It Pass .... "

Out of an average 100 paper clips 20 will be used to hold papers together 25 will end up in the trash 14will be twisted into odd shapes

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41 JUST VANISH INTO THIN AIR!

T T E R

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IF WORK WERE GOOD FOR YOU, THE RICH WOULD LEAVE NONE FOR THE POOR.

EMPLOYMENT
Billy Bovine The Cow Clown On The Road Bukowskiville, NJ (973) 471-8378
July 15,1998

The Circus 822 L Tent Street Tightrope, Indiana 44444 Dear Sir or Madame: I would very much like to work for your circus as a clown. I have a big nose, red hair and a sad expression to boot. Do you have any openings for a clown? All my life I have been a clown going from town to town making kids laugh and parents howl in disbelief. Could you find a place for me under the big top? I work well with other clowns and never hog the spotlight. I do not demand much money and can suffice with a banana after every show. By the way I am a native of Switzerland which makes me the only clown in the United Snakes to come from that part of the world. With baggy trousers I await your answer for this job. Remember a clown is to be laughed at not sneezed at! Jokingly Yours,

Billy Bovine
The Cow Clown

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Offi~ HOJIrs.· d.m. to 4p.m. 8
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ID CENTER: Student ID's $3, Staff ID's Free

TEACHING SUPPLIES: Order & Pickup Center
XEROX 1090 COpy MACHINE: Staff Use Only

SCANTRON: Test Scoring & Supplies
DAILY BULLETIN: Notices Can Be Dropped Off Here

PRO IMAGE POSTER MAKER: All Sizes, All Colors!
AUDIO & VISUAL EQUIPMENTInquire Within

LAMINATING, ELECTRIC 3 HOLE PUNCH, CUTTER VIDEOS FOR CLASSROOM USE: Inquire Within

UPS PICKUP DESIGNATION SITE: Scale, Packaging
BULLETIN BOARDS: Letters, Border, Paper

Computer Generated Typesetting & Graphics

fhe Hole
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Dance to the Blues, pee standing upright at the piano. Barrels of speed and no laughs! The Have A Good Weekend Place for people who love to work. Let us take you down, because we are going to. In the shade you got it made. 1210 Benzedrine Drive, Oakhurst, New Jersey/Hours: 7-7 Come Often and Come Hard!!!

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http://get.the.fock.ootside

No Wiring Required!

WilEN pA TTERNS ARE hROkEN

If you want to truly understand something, try to change it. (Kurt Lewin)

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NEW WORlds CAN EMERtjE. IIPI"ERhERq)

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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. (Larry Eisenberg)
looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like food packages with the ingredients clearly labeled. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. (Will Rogers)

-Nothing

In rille Print Is Ever Good News. (.J.ndy Rooney)

--.

_--.

--.

David R. Wyder/Ghost 121 Gregory Ave., #B-7 Passaic, NJ 07055

ButTrAsh #3 (24 Pages) Inspiration, Dues & Thanks To The Following: The Sub Genius Foundation, Inc., The Church of Euthanasia, The Holy Church of Moo, The First Church of Christ/Scientist, Top Hill/Gandhi Manor, Passaic High School .... EDITOR & PUBLISHER: DAVID R. WYDER Send $1 or the unusual trade to: 87 Richard St., Apt. 7, Passaic, NJ 07055 for a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy.....

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