Mia Eaker 1/23/06 English 6101-001 4th response

From “Explication Essay – Point Shirley” I enjoyed this student’s response, and liked most of all the way it was structured overall. I liked that the writer was focused on showing Plath’s use of personification to show how the narrator was adjusting to the death of the grandmother. I thought this allowed the writer to flow through poem more easily, instead of jumping around from one point to the next. One thing I though the writer here could work on was the transitions between sentences as well as between paragraphs. Although there seemed to be an overall structure, the writer here struggled with making the words of the poem flow into her own sentences. Internally, the paragraphs seemed to have very little structure. The first sentences never really set up the paragraph, but started with phrases like, “The line beginning the second stanza […]”, and “The first line of the third stanza […]”. It didn’t really flow into a new topic, just into a new stanza, with no real opening. I also noticed this type of language hindered the writer’s ability to make the poet’s words flow with his/her own sentences.