Deharag : Ek Aadim Bhaya Ka Kuboolanama

(upanyasa) PART- ONE ____________________________________________ DEHRAG : CARNAL MELODY CONFESSIONS OF A PRIMITIVE FEAR ( NOVEL IN HINDI) ___________________________________________

By : UNMAYA_PREM

(A Story of Passions In Play of Love and Lust) ____________________________________

muhabbat aur daihik kamanaon ki bahurangi chhataon men rangi jindagi ki khushiyon aur pidaon ki dastan

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PART - ONE 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

holi ki aanch aur basant ki bayar
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yah bhi ek prthwi hai/jis par wah firati hai/barf ki ya kanch ki?/smrti kisamen hilati hai? –yah aakanksha samay nahin/gagan gila. 1997–98 ****************************************************** prem aasan nahin hai, dasamen itani nirashayen hoti rahi hain, fir bhi wahi ek ummid hai, wahi aag hai, wahi lau hai, wahi arth ki dahalij hai . (–aasan nahin/ashok wajapeyi/ummid ka doosara nama/pr. ३२) ******************************************************* dar-asal ham jise prem kahate hain, wah kisi doosare wyakti ke sath hota hai - us doosare wyakti ke sath judi apani parachhaeen se. ham usake pas mohawisht se dolate rahate hain - ( jaya jadawani) ********************************************************** ALFRED TENNYSON: I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. *************************************************************************** The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love! -Margaret Atwood ****************************************************************************

bechain aadam us naye jiw ki talash men apani yatra par tha jise khuda ne usake sharir se juda kar rach rakha tha. bina usake wah adhoora tha. rachati hai prem ki paribhasha sadiyon se jindagi kal ke anant biyaban men kya wah bhi niyati hai kisi anant ke man ki ?

- maulik

priyahari bhag raha tha aur bhagata hi chala ja raha tha. lekin wah jitana jyada bhagata smrtiyan aur aur karib aa ja rahi thin. smrtiyon se rahat pane bhatakata priyahari ootakamand ke is hotal ke chhajje ki khidaki par hath tikaye parwaton ki choti par jame kohare ki us khoobasoorati ko is wakt niharana chahata tha. wah samoochi wadi ko samete us ek sanwali aurat ke chehare men tabdil hoti ja raha thi jise wah bhulana chahata tha. rat wah so nahin saka tha. use nahin maloom ki wah alassubah ki chilakati thand thi ya usake andar bah rahi lu ka asar jisase wah kanp raha tha. jin pahadi chotiyon par usaki nigah thi, we jaise usaki apani khud ki khopadi men tabdil ho chali thin. apani saghanata se parwatshikharon ko bojhil karate badalon ke dhundh ki tarah smrtiyan usapar chhaee ja rahi thin. yah chitt men gaharata dhundh tha jisame samane khade parwat khoye ja rahe the. unaki jagah ek chehara tha, jo samoochi wadi men failata priyahari ko unhin bhayawah andheron men khinch raha tha, jinase wah nikal bhagane ke upakram men bhatakata raha aaya hai. usaka chitt awiram tejagati bah raha tha . usake pas paheliyan hi paheliyan thin. rahasy se bhari paheliyan, jo sulajhane ka nam hi nahi leti thin . jitana wah sochata utana adhik we ulajhaye ja rahi thin. usake panw sthir the, sharir jada, lekin chitt tha ki sochata chala ja raha tha. yah aurat kaun thi ? isase priyahari ka kya sanbandh tha ? siway dukh aur apar pida ke priyahari ko usane kuchh nahin diya. itana-itana ki pida ke andhakar men dhakelakar nirantar use kuchalane, usake pran lene wah udyat rahi. udyat matr nahi rahi, shayad safal bhi ho gaee hai. wah janati thi ki wah priyahari ke pran le rahi hai, lekin itane par bhi use chain kahan tha ? priyahari ki har pida, usaki har karuna is aurat ko aur pramudit karati thi, jaise usaka sara sukh isi men nihit ho. apane rahasyamay wyaktitw aur wyawahar ki tarah chijon ko hamesha usane jatil banaye rakha. priyahari ne jitana sulajhane ki koshish ki utana wah aur ulajhata gaya. wah kaun thi ? usane waisa kyon kiya ? sara kuchh priyahari ke liye ek anaboojh paheli raha aayega. agar aisa koee stoop aap dhoondh payen jisamen sab kuchh prachandata se bhara ho - prachand ahankara, prachand eershya, prachand apamana, upeksha ki bhawana aur in sab ke alawa bhi prachandata men bahut kuchh jisaka warnan mushkil hai to wah usi ki kaya ho sakati hai. nam to tha wanamala, lekin wanamala nahi wah wanajwala ki tarah thi. stri ke wishay men aadikal se hi jitani komal baten kahi gaee hain, jaisa swabhaw bataya gaya hai, jo kuchh kalpanayen ki jati hain we priyahari ko ab jhooth lagati hain. jo yatharth hai usaka usaka

shatansh bhi log nahi jan pate. bahar se jo dekha aur jana jata hai wah kitana jhooth hota hai isaka anubhaw priyahari ab kuchh hi kar sakata hai. stri ko jis roop men log dekhate hain , wah usaka anujagar roop hi huaa karata hai. kuchh aisa hi jaisa kisi fool ki khoobasoorati ko dekhakar koee yah nahin jan sakata ki wah kitana wishaila aur marak hai. usaki gandha, usaka sparsha, usaka swad kisi ke pran bhi le sakata hai. yah janate huye bhi ki wah stri pranaharini hai nipat kroora, priyahari ka dhyan wanamala par hi tika huaa hai. wah usi ko yad kar raha hai. yad ek bhishan duः swapn ki, jisamen priyahari ka sara kuchh kho gaya hai. sara kuchh yani shanti, chaina, sukha, duniyadari, ghara, pratibha, jindagi ka sab kuchha. ho sakata hai jise log pyar karate hain yah us kism ka yah anubhaw ho. lekin ab ji nahi manata. pahale priyahari bhramit tha, lekin yah shabd use prasang-bahar pratit hota hai. wah kuchh bhi ho sakata tha lekin pyar nahin tha. priyahari ko shuru men hi janana chahiye tha ki kya ab tak bhi use wah jan saka hai ? ab agar ise pyar kaha bhi jaye to wah priyahari ke liye wanamala ko usaki sanpoorn rahasyamayata ke sath jan lene ki jijnyasa matr se adhik kya tha ? priyahari soch men baha ja raha tha. wah durbhagy hi tha ki jitana adhik usane wanamala ko janane ki koshish ki, utana hi adhik wah apane ko rahasy ke awagunthanon men chhipati chali gaee. apane abhinay se sara kuchh wahi rachati , taki priyahari usake pichhe aur bhagata chala aaye. poochhane ke liye ek pal bhi priyahari ko nahin diya usane. mauke aate to use ulajhakara, daramyani palon men rahasy ka aur ijafa karati wah muskurati nikal bhagati. usake ganbhir dwandagrast chehare par tairati kutil muskan men aise wakt priyahari ke liye aghoshit sanwad yah huaa karata ki 'mai to chali, ab ise bhi hal karo.' sari paheliyon ka sakar punj bani wanamala use ulajhaye chhod jati thi. yah ek ajib chakkar tha jisamen priyahari ki niyati bhatakane ki thi aur niyati- nati thi wanamala, jisake liye priyahari ka bhatakaw manoranjan matr ki ek aanandamayi krida thi . bar-bar ke anubhawon se tang aakar us din bhi priyahari mayoos apane ekant men baitha tha . use thik-thik yad nahin ki us din aur log aaye the ya nahin . aisa bhi ho sakata hai ki ikkadukka aakar bahar apane kamon men wyast ho gaye hon . kabhi aalamari kholata, kabhi failon ke bich kagaj palatata priyahari wahan pasare maun ko kat raha tha . kewal wanamala hi thi jo wahan baithi rah gaee thi . kahate hain ki doodh ka jala chhachh ko bhi foonk-foonk kar pita hai . wanamala ke mood se priyahari in dinon bhayabhit rahata tha . bat karo to mushkil , n karo to mushkil . ganbhira, bimar chehara wanamala bhi usi ki tarah pars kholati band karati, rajistar palatati baithi to thi lekin anyamanaskata hi thi, jo usase wah kara rahi thi . donon or se barf jami thi . wanamala se khinn priyahari aur wanamala ke bich ki chuppi se bhara watawaran in donon ke pashopesh ko pad raha tha. lekin barf thi ki apani jagah apani akad men thi . aise mahaul men jahan priyahari aur wanamala sanyog se akelepan men sath pad jayen, donon ke chitt ki dhukadhuki mahaul men jaise pasar jati ho . thik isi mahaul men nilanjana ka prawesh huaa . nilanjana aur wanamala men bahut fark hai . thik waisa jaise jamin aur aasaman ka fark ho . nilanjana ko pyar men hari ne nilima, lila nam diya huaa tha . lila nam bhaskarachary ki widushi, ganitajnya kanya lilawati ke nam par tha . han lilawati waisi hi rahi hogi . nilanjana si shanta, saumya, winamra, udarata se bhara pyara chaukor chehara, pindaliyon ke niche tak jhoolati lanbi kali choti, anadhik guraee ka waibhaw aur sahaj sankoch se bhari natamastika . yah winamr sankoch usake sundar wyaktitw ka antarang aabhooshan tha . nilanjana ka atirikt aakarshan saral drshti liye masoomiyat bhari usaki khoobasoorat aankhon men tha. unamen chamakati gahari kali putaliyan athah shant sagar ki tarah manamohak thin. nilanjana janati thi ki priyahari ki aankhen aksar un putaliyon men doob jaya karati thin . wah khud un aankhon ka doobana dekhati aur doobati aankhon ko niharati priyahari ki aankhon ki bhasha ko padane ki cheshta karati thi . aankhen churana usaki aadat n thi . jahan kahin bhi paridrshy men apane hone par bhaya, tanawa, wiwad ki aashanka ho, aise awasaron ko talati nilanjana pratikriyawihin banaye rakhakar apane astitw ko sikod leti thi . yah usaka swabhaw tha . wah nak ki sidh men chalata aur jahan awasar ho wahin khulata tha . nilanjana aur wanamala do wiparit dhruw thin . wanamala ki nak par gussa chada rahata tha . use manane thak-har

jana hota tha . wah apane aap thandi hoti pachhatati aur priyahari ke pas aati thi . usake baraaks harini si khoobasoorat aankhon wali masoom nilanjana thi ki jisake jhagadane, naraj hone aur jise manane ke awasar johata priyahari ka man taras-taras jata tha . kaee bar priyahari ne apani yah tamanna jahir ki bhi ki kabhi to nilanjana usase jhagada kare taki usake chand se mukhade ko naee mudra men niharata usaki gori sudaul janghaon par sar rakh usaki laton se khelata, galon ko sahalata priyahari us roothi ko manaye . lekin nahin, nilanjana badi masoomiyat se priyahari ko jawab deti - ''kyon ? main aapase bhala kyon jhagada karoon ? aapase mujhe koee shikayat hai hi nahin . jinhen ho, unhen ho . aap aisa kuchh karate hi nahin ki jisase main jhagada karoon ?'' yah agar tapati garmi men bhi man ko rahat deti shital mand bayar ki ek lahar thi, to wah thande mausam men bhi anayas aa dhamaki prachand lu ka jhonka thi . nilanjana ka sannidhy priyahari ko agar sare tanawon se aatmiy rahat deta tha to wanamala ka samana upasthiti matr se udas aashanka, bechaini aur tanaw ka mahaul rach deta tha . nilanjana ki juban jitani saral aur mithi thi, wanamala apani juban se utani hi kadawi aur kutil huaa karati thi . priyahari ke sanbandh donon se the . pyar ki kundali se lakshan milayen to mohabbat ke sanbandh priyahari aur nilanjana ke bich sahaj hi sadhane wale the . par waisa kyon kar hota ? honi to honi hi hai . mamala yah tha ki priyahari ka dil tapati garmi, prachand lu ka jhonka, adrshy bhaya, tanawa, bechaini aur kutila, kadawi juban ki muhar wali wanamala par hi aasana tha . yah aur bhi wichitr tha ki khud wanamala ki nigah men priyahari jaisa bhi raha ho ,marati wah priyahari ke pyar par thi . wanamala ke liye priyahari pyar ke us sajiw putale ki tarah tha jisase khelane, jise todane ya mita dalane ka hak kewal usaka tha . kisi bhi aurat jat ka us putale ko chhoona to doora, us par nigah dalana tak wanamala ko sakhat napasand tha . kisi aurat ka wanamala se takarana apane liye khud musibat ko dawat dene jaisa tha . nilanjana urf nila us wakt furasat nikalakar aaee thi . priyahari se usane kaha - 'chaliye abhi main furasat men hoon . subah ka samay achchha hai . apana jo kam pada hai use nibata lete hain' 'tumhen samay hai?'- priyahari ne poochha . 'han isiliye to aaee hoon . koee kam pada rahe mujhe achchha nahin lagata . aap ko to kahin jana nahin hai n .' priyahari ne chabiyan nilanjana ko saunp di . aalamari pichhe hi thi . nila ne failen nikali, kagaj failaye aur priyahari se poochhati bat karati kam men wyast ho gaee . kam to priyahari bhi nila ke sath kar raha tha, lekin anyamanaskata rahi aane se dil n lag raha tha . priyahari aur nila donon mundiyan jode agal-bagal baithe tebil par jhuke the . rasmi baten ho rahi thin ,lekin wanamala ki upasthiti ke bojh ne jubanon ki sahaj swatantrata chhin li thi . moodi wanamala jisane arase se us tarah priyahari ke sath baithana band kar diya tha ,bade gaur se priyahari aur nilanjana ko lakshy kar rahi thi - yoon ki dekhate bhi dekhana dikhaee n pade . usaki aankhon men ek tarah ki wyangy bhari shikayat ne tairana shuru kar diya tha . usake chehare par achanak kaee haw-bhaw ek sath aa aur ja rahe the . priyahari ne gaur kiya ki sath baithi nilanjana ka man bhi ise mahasoos kar raha tha . donon ke bich ki tarangen idhar se udhar sankramit ho rahi thin . apana kam karate huye bhi nilanjana aur priyahari us nistabdhata men ek adrshy sankoch se bhare huye the . baton men samane pade kam ko rakhate huye bhi aisi bhayawah sankoch ki chhaya thi jaise we chori kar rahe hon aur nigahon se we dekhe ja rahe hon . door baithi wanamala ke hothon par ek tarah ki muskan ubharane lagi thi . ab wah stabdha, bojhil ekant usake dhairy se bahar hone laga tha . wah dekh rahi thi ki kursiyon men sate baithe nilanjana aur priyahari ke sir tallinata se jhuke huye hain . donon ki waniyan budabudane ke lahaje men ek doosare se sanwadarat thin . donon ki aankhen kagajon par fisalati kon banati ek-doosare se takara rahi thin . donon use dekhakar bhi anadekha kar rahe the jaise wanamala ki upasthiti ka ahasas hi unhen n ho . achanak ek swar laharaya - ''me aaee distarb yu sar ?''

aakhir wahi huaa jisaka bhay unhen salata hai. we dono chuppi men sihar gaye. nilanjana ki masoom aankhen priyahari ki aankhon se takaraeen. we manon poochh rahi hon ki yah kya hone ja raha hai ? unhonne paya ki apani pustak aur pars uthaye wanamala unaki taraf dekh rahi hai jaise isi ki pratiksha men wah ho. wah apani jagah khadi thi aur kutil muskan men tairata usaka ''distarba'' anayas priyahari aur nilanjana ko wichalit kar raha tha. wanamala apana saman samete chalakar un dono ki kursiyon ke samane aakar thithak gaee. usane nilanjana se kaha ''maf karana maidama, maine aap logon ko distarb kiya.'' priyahari ki or mukhatib ho isane kaha -''aapako maloom hai n ki meri tanakhah ka purana mamala ruka huaa hai.'' is bar aap kameti me hain isaliye kah rahi hoon. mera kam bhi aap is bar kar denge kya ? abhi ho jayega to ho jayega, anyatha to koee ummid nahi hai.'' priyahari ka man wanamala ke ''aap dono'' ke uchcharan ki bhangima se kanp utha tha. wanamala ne use jaise chori karate pakad liya ho. usane kam batakar ek sath hi apane do-tin kam nipata diye the. masoom aawaj men nihayat mithepan se uchcharit wanamala ke ''distarba'' ke mayane kya hain ,yah priyahari bhi samajhata tha, aur nilanjana bhi samajh rahi thi. ek adrshy ghabarahat se is jode ka man bhayabhit ho gaya. wanamala khud hi kati-kati rahati hai. bat karo to katati hai. sabake samane yoon bartaw karati hai jaise priyahari se usaka lena-dena nahi. is tarah ki mano kewal priyahari hi usake pichhe pada hai. mayoosi aur awasad ke ghere men priyahari ko wah khud thel kar dhakel jati hai . aur ab usaka yah wyangy ! priyahari ke liye wanamala ko samajhana mushkil hai. lekin fir bas itana hi usaka aisa maraham priyahari ko memana bana jata hai. use jawab diya ''maine to kabhi mana nahin kiya. bas aap ek chitthi us mamale par wichar karane ke liye apane afasar se mark kara den fir mai dekh loonga.'' wanamala ke sath ka ''tuma'' usaki khud banaee doori men priyahari ke liye bhi ''aapa'' ho jata tha. is bare men do-char aupacharik baten priyahari aur wanamala ke bich hueen aur chehare par chhaee apani udas masoomiyat ke sath wanamala chali gaee. jise tilanjali dene par sankalp priyahari ne bar-bar kiya hai, use kanpate wah chali gaee. is kanpan ko kya nilanjana ne nahin dekha ? priyahari ne chaha ki nilanjana use bacha le lekin nilanjana khud bhag jana chahati hai. kyon, wanamala ka itana aatank kyon ? han, kahin man me koee chor tha. priyahari nahin janata ki wanamala kaisa mahasoos karati thi? lekin use yah swikar karane men koee hichak nahi ki wanamala use behad priy thi. jinat nahin jati to shayad takadir ki we durghatanayen ujagar nahi huee hotin, jo bad men usake aur wanamala ke bich itihas banakar chali gaeen. adan ke bag ka nishiddh fal chakhane ki ab yahi saja thi. bechain aadam us naye jiw ki talash men apani yatra par tha jise khuda ne usake sharir se juda kar rach rakha tha. bina usake wah adhoora tha.
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Jeenat
champak ke fool men agar gulab ki aabha bhar di jaye to wah jinat ka rang hoga.

agar kisi stri ke bare men soch-soch kar hrdaya, buddhi, sanskrti aur kala ki sari khoobasoorati ikatthi kar li jayen to un sab ka mel jinat hi ho sakati thi. yoon nahi ki duniya men wah akeli hi aisi hogi, magar yah ki priyahari ke anubhawon ka talluk jahan tak tha, wahan tak jinat ko hi usane waisa paya. jinat ko usane kabhi naraj hota nahin dekha. yada-kada waise awasar aaye bhi hon to wah wyaktigat shikayat jaisi baton men hi aaye rahe honge. jinat se priyahari ki bat hoti aur sari galatafahamiyan door ho jatin. jinat ka haday nirmal tha. wah bala ki khubasoorat thi. andakar chehare ko aap agar jara sutawan dhal men dekhen to wah jinat ka chehara banega. champak ke fool men agar gulab ki aabha bhar di jaye to wah jinat ka rang hoga. nap taulakar bani samanupatik ango ke sath laharati usaki chharahari kaya ko dekhakar kisi komal maroolata ki kalpana jagati thi, jisamen aankhon ko ujala bana dene wali sundarata aur hrday ko shitalata pradan karane wali sahajata thi. priyahari ne kabhi use yatnapoorwak sajja ke bhadakile wastron aur prasadhanon men nahin dekha. jinat ke andar hi aisa kuchh tha ki wastron ka usaka chunaw bada salikedar hota. salawar aur kurti ke apane aam pahanawe men wah fabati thi, lekin jab kabhi wah halki kadaee wali badami ya doodh si jhakk safed sadi pahanati, jinat sakshat sundarata ki kalpit yoonani dewi winas dikhaee padati thi. chal-dhal kapadon, baton, wyawahara, kamakaj - kisi men kabhi koee banawati atiranjana usame priyahari ne nahin dekhi. usake andar aur bahar ke sahaj santulan ne aisi khoobasoorati use di thi ki usaki jhalak matr tanaw bhare watawaran ko khushanuma ranginiyat men badal deti thi. usake barik gulabi hontho par faili tabassuma, mrgi si shital snigdh drshti wali usaki bolati aankhen jinamen bina kajal ke kajaraee thi, usaki najakat se tarasi gaee deh-yashti ki aur in sab men dhar chadati usaki jukamiyan putawali seksi swar lahari jis par bade salike se spasht uchcharan ke sath apani narmahat aur chikanaee men bhasha khelati thi. sab itane sammohak ki koee bhi jinat ke jaduee aakarshan se achhoota nahin rah sakata tha. wishay chahe usaka sains ho, lekin kala aur sundarata ki sakshat pratima wah thi. itani ujali ki chhoone ki kalpana men bhi yah bhay hota ki kahin jinat maili n ho jaye. priyahari nahin janata ki eeshwar kise kahate hain ? lekin yah janata hai ki kudarat ne ji bharakar itani khoobasoorati jinat ko di thi ki har koee us par mar mite. eerani kala aur sundarata ki bharapoor jhalak jinat men thi. saundary-bodha, abhiroochiyon, aur pratibha ka usamen adabhut talamel tha. sahity sanskrti, kala,darshana, bhawana, sanwedana ki adabhut soojh aur pratibha jinat men thi. auron ki tarah priyahari ne kabhi kalpana n ki thi ki jinat usaki pahunch men aa bhi sakati hai. sadharan mulakaten, hansana, bolana aur mahaul ko khushanuma khoobasoorati se bhar dene wali jinat ki sahaj adayen - yahi the jinhe pakar wah prasann tha. kya waisa ho sakata tha ? lekin waisa huaa. priyahari ne wanamala ko us sal julaee ke pahale hafte men tab dekha tha jab wah naeenaee wahan aaee thi. sath men usaka aadami aur kandhe par chipaka huaa ek nanha sa bachcha. nihayat sadharan shaklo-soorat wala khuraduri kaya ka sanwala purush aur nihayat gharu sadi men lipati khule sanwali rangat ki usaki patni. usaki rasmi batachit aur andaz adhik dilachaspi n hone par bhi priyahari ko dilachasp lage the. us samay kamakaj ke bojh men buri tarah daba hone ke karan is wanamala se priyahari ka sanbandh waisa hi tha jaisa sadharan karmiyon ke sath huaa karata tha. bad ke salon men jhanjhaton se tang aakar usane wichitr paristhitiyon men badi jimmedariyan khud hi chhod di thin. isi dauran wanamala se usaka parichay bada tha. kuchh saman baten thi jo unhen ek-doosare se jodati thin. dono

hi ekantik swabhaw ke the. aasapas ki sangat aur watawaran n to wanamala ko prabhawit karate the, aur n priyahari ko. ghar se wanamala udasin aur bejan lagati thi. aisa hi kuchh hal priyahari ke sath bhi tha. donon ko hi gambhirata aur sootratmak baton se lagaw tha. gappipan se donon ko nafarat thi. wanamala chahe ekadam sadharan aur upekshaniya rahi ho lekin shuru se hi usamen gajab ka aatmabhiman tha. log-bag usaki akad ka majak udaya karate the. agar kisi ne usase sahanubhooti dikhaee, to wah priyahari hi tha. priyahari se wah aksar kaha karati thi 'n mujhe falatu baten pasand hain, aur n falatu loga.' sari chijon ke bawajood purana aur apane kshetr men jana-mana medhawi hone ke karan priyahari ka apana man tha. usaki haisiyat bahut oonchi thi. isake thik ulte wanamala ki un dinon n to koee poochh-parakh thi, n hi usame kisi ki koee dilachaspi thi. aise men subah ke mahaul men ek-doosare ke karib aate priyahari aur wanamala ne ek doosare ko jana. tab pahali bar priyahari ne yah mahasoos karana shuru kiya ki apane aap men kunthit aur udas dikhaee padane wali yah aurata, jo kam nibatakar aapane mard ki aajnyakarita aur bachche ki chinta ke dabaw men jaldi bhagane ko udyat rahati hai, utani sadharan nahin hai, jitani log use samajhate the. thi to wah shyama bangal ki, lekin usaki bhasha, likhawat aur chijon ki samajh hindi men aisi thi ki is ilake men paida huye logon men nahi dekhi jati. aapasi samajh aur prasansha ka badata sanbandh kabhi usake prati marak chahat aur lagaw men badal sakata hai, isaki kalpana bhi priyahari ko nahin thi. tab ird-gird usake hone ke bawajood kuchh aise sanbandh the jinaka jyada asar priyahari par tha. khas kar khoobasoorat tarasi huee deh-yashti ke sath nafasat ki samajha, sanskrti, buddhi, aur bhawana wali jinat ki upasthiti wahan aisi thi, jisake samane kisi aur aurat ka wyaktitw kahin thahar hi nahin sakata tha. sahity ki apani samajh aur kawita ki romaniyat jaisi hrday wali jinat tab priyahari ke bahut jyada karib aa rahi thi. sare logon ke hote huye bhi priyahari par jinat ka khas lagaw tha. jinat usake sath dhoop men akasar baith jati aur kawita para, jindagi para, usake falasafe par chand lamahon men hi sahi, tasallibakhsh baten ho jati thin. priyahari ne kawitayen likhi thin aur lagatar likh raha tha. usake lekh risalon men chhapate aur in sab par jinat se bahut barik baten hotin. priyahari ki tab-tak ki kawitayen jinat ne mangakar kar pad li thin. idhar chhipakar sankoch se pahali bar saunpi gayin jinat ki kawitayen priyahari ne pad li thin. priyahari ki kawitaon men chhipa romans jinat ko achchha lagata tha. urdu ki ek lambi najm jisamen mohabbat ki tadap aur wirah ki pida thi, use khoob pasand aayi thi. angreji aur hindi men likhe prakrti ke kuchh bimbon ki usane tarif ki thi. jinat ko is bat ka ahasas tha ki us par jan dene walon men priyahari bhi hai. usase aage bhi yah ki us ahasas ke bawajood wah priyahari ke kramash: jyada nikat aati gaee thi. jab bhi mauka milata aur tisara bich men n hota darabar hal men ya jinat ke kamare men dono is tarah ek doosare prati chahat bhari prashansa se batiyate ki jaise barason se unaka parichay aur kudarati sanbandh ho. yah ek aisa sahaj aakarshan tha, jo poori aurat aur poore aadami ke bich apani aakankshaon men paraspar hota hai. ye sanbandh shayad aur rang late agar jinat tabadale par kahin aur n chali gaee hoti. jahan tak yad padata hai jinat bhi apane ko 'wargo' kaha karati thi, jaisa ki priyahari to tha hi. un dono men kahin koee kami n dikhaee padane par bhi ek khalipan raha hoga jise we parokshataः mahasoos karate the. jati taur par jinat ke niji aur bhawanatmak sanbandh wirag se the. tab bhi kisi khas mauke ko chhod khule roop men wah priyahari ko kabhi n dikhaee pada tha. jinat ka wyaktitw khula tha aur sabhi se wah poori garima, nafasat aur khulepan se pesh aati thi. jis ek bar ka jikr hai usame bhi gawah do hi the - ek khud priyahari aur doosari jinata. huaa yoon ki ek din jinat ke niji matahat ne aakar priyahari ko khabar di ki maidam use bula rahi hain. subah ka wakt tha aur mahaul shayad janawari - farawari ke gunagune thand ka, jab padane walon ki aamad-raft kam ho jati hai. priyahari usake kamare men gaya to use samane bithakar jinat ne wirag ki berukhi ki shikayat karate huye yah kaha ki priyahari use samajhaye. jinat ka kahana tha ki usaki shadi kahin aur tay karane par usake ghar men log aamada hain. us wakt jinat kamajor ho chali thi. priyahari ko samajhate usaki bhawana ka bandh toot gaya aur aankhon se moti jharane lage. priyahari ke samane tebil par kalaiyan failaye usane sir jhuka diya aur sisakati rahi. priyahari ne bade pyar se use samajhaya, uthaya, tasalli di aur kaha ki main wirag se bat karoonga. logon ki aawajahi men us din to bat n ho saki, lekin bad men

priyahari ne sasankoch wirag ko wah bat bataee aur samajhaya ki jinat ka dhyan wah rakhe. wirag ne awichalit bhaw se suna aur bas itana kaha ki ''main dekhoonga.'' jinat ke pas aate-aate priyahari ne do-tin kawitayen us par likh dali thin. unhe badi roochi se jinat ne suna aur unaki tarif bhi ki. jinat ko priyahari ki ek matr aur sabase achchhi bhent usaki wah ek kawita hi thi ,jisamen priyahari ne nihayat khoobasoorati se jinat ki taswir khinchi thi. wah itani khush huee ki kawitaon ke dher se us khas kawita ko pasand kar usaki skript priyahari se usane aagrahapoorwak fauran hi chhin li thi. jinat ki yah khoobi thi ki wah shatir auraton ki tarah nazakat aur adaon ka istemal kar priyahari ko prabhawit nahi karati thi, goki ye chijen usame thin. shayad isiliye use waisa karane ki jaroorat hi nahi thi. usaki khoobasoorat parsanailiti men hi kudarat ne inhen nikhar kar rakh diya tha. yah sher kaha bhale hi kisi ne chuhal ke rang men hai, lekin jinat par yah bina kisi banawat ke lagu hota tha ki- ''khuda jab husn deta hai, nazakat aa hi jati hai.'' us samay jinat ke alawa nilanjana aur chandrakiran urf rozabooti bhi thi. wah itani gori-chitati, sahaj aur aakarshak thi ki wanamala ki or kisi ko dhyan dene ki furasat hi n thi. n jane kaun si paristhitiyan thin jinase wanamala yoon gumasum aur gambhir dikhaee padati thi ki wah apani umr se kahin badi prauda nari hi lagati. isaki chhipi najar chanchal chitrakar kanan par dikhaee padati thi. idhar kanan tha ki auron ki tarah wah bhi sarwottam yani jinat ki tarif karata tha. wanamala ka prasang chhidane par nak-bhaun sikodata wah hans pada tha - ''waha! wah to mujhe budiya lagati hai.'' wyaktigat prasangon men chandrakiran ko priyahari pyar se rozabooti ya swit-danl kahakar pukarata tha. char fut das inch ki paintis kilo wajani badi-badi bhoori aankhon wali yah gudiya bala ki khoobasoorat thi. kisi ek roj soone men donon hi aa bhide the. kone men kad napane ka footar rakha tha. n jane kya soojha wah usake payadan par chadh chali. sath chipake tarange kuchh is tarah badanon men tair rahi thin ki priyahari ne use awasthit kiya aur thuddi tham napane ko sar par jatan se sanware balon par la tikaya. char fut das inch . “ main bhi to dekhoon “ priyahari ne kaha . satakar khadi rozabooti ne priyahari ke sar ko waise hi thuddi se utha tana aur nap liya. “panch fut sat incha.” rojabooti ne uchchara . usaki khoobasoorat aankhon aur gulabi barik hothon par khushi, haya aur chanchalata ko ek sath samete muskan tair uthi thi. nazaren uthatin arthapoorn sanketon ko samete priyahari ki najaron se milin jahan waisi hi tarangen lahar rahi thin jinhen rojabooti sanjoye thi. wah muskuraee. us gopan muskarahat men sandesh saf chhapa tha. use uchcharit priyahari ne kiya – ‘jodi thik bani. nap ekadam fit hai.’” us roz fir sara samay auron ki bhid aa chukane ke bad bhi bar-bar takarate donon ke bich milate aur takarate nayanon ka raha. wah ek pal aisa raha ki fir har milan men kad milan ki chahaten fir-fir ki dilon ke daramyan hiloren maratin. pal chamatkari hote hain . kabhi-kabhi ek pal wah kar jata hai jo prayatnon ke bawajood jiwan bhar bhi sanbhaw nahin pata. rozabooti ke sath sanyog men gujara wah ek pal fir donon ke daramyan aisa sthayi ho chala ki jab tak wah sath rahi khushiyon ki bahar ke din rahe. paristhitiyan aisi banati chali gaee thin ki wiwah ki besabri men doobi rojabooti ka padosi aur niji hissa banata chala gaya tha. wah kissa bad men kahana thik rahega. abhi main jinat ki or chaloon. daraasal jinat se priyahari ke sanbandh dinondin aise gaharate gaye the ki wirag ko chhod wah priyahari ki ragini ban chali thi. kaee bar aise mauke aaye jab dil se bekabu jismo-jan ki or we bad chale, lekin milan ki adhirata ko achanak tham jinat kah baithati - ''priyahari, rahane do na pliza. apani jinat ki bat manalo. maine sab kuchh kiya hai lekin wo kam maine abhi tak nahi kiya hai. mujhe bahut dar lagata hai. main abhi bhi us mamale men pakija hoon '' wo kama'' ke masale men jinat ka aashay we donon samajhate the. us kam ko man men chhipaye aur kalpanaon men dekhate priyahari aur jinat ke pas man ko masosane ke alawa koee chara n hota. badakismati yah ki jinat ko jald hi priyahari se bichhadana tha. jinat ka tabadala kahin aur ho gaya tha. yahi nahin, usaki shadi bhi marzi ke khilaf kahin aur tay ho gaee thi. jinat mayoos aur

tooti huee thi. jyon-jyon usaki shadi ki charchayen badin, jinat behad bechain aur dwandagrast hoti chali gaee thi. tanahaee men udas bite dinon ki yadon men wah roya karati. inhi dinon kisi ek din jinat se priyahari ki antim mulakat huee thi jo usaki smrtiyon men itihas banakar hamesha ke liye tham gaee hai. wichitr paristhitiyon men huee wah dilarasaee ki dilachasp mulakat thi. priyahari ke chit se jinat ke sath antim milan ki us pyari ghatana ka utarana mushkil tha. han wah ,jab jinat ka pakij-warjit jinat aur priyahari ke bich khel-khel men hi jannat ke bag ka wah mitha fal ho gaya tha, jisake swad ki har purush aur stri men taras hoti hai. use ab wah bhool jana chahata hai. jinat ki shadi ka kard priyahari ko mila tha. n jane kya kashmakash thi ki priyahari jinat ke us roop ke siwa, jo kewal usaka apana tha kisi aur roop men bardasht n kar sakata tha. wah nahin gaya. priyahari ke sath hi sare aur chahane walon ke dilon men apawitr khalabali machati jinat apani pawitrata sath liye unhen chhod chali gaee thi. yah ajib kismat thi ki wah priyahari ko jaise wanamala ke hawale kar chali gaee thi. usaka sath chhootana hi wanamala se priyahari ka milana tha. bahut bad men wanamala ke prem men doobe priyahari ke dil ne jab apana sara kuchh kawitaon men dhal diya to ajib tha ki chhapaee se pahale chayan aur sanpadan men priyahari ko jinat hi yad aaee. jinat ne unhe khoob pasand kiya, chunaw kiya, apani ray di, lekin yah ajib tha ki priyahari ki doosari priya bangal ka jadu wanamala par rachi kawitaon ke prati jinat ne haule se apani berukhaee saf jahir kar di thi. priyahari jinat se kaise kahata ki kawitaon ka jo anuwad usake hrday ne racha, wah usake nam hota agar samay ke fer se chipaki wah usase juda n huee hoti . jo bhi ho jinat kisi bhi hrday ka pyar ho sakati thi. wah itani achchhi, pyari or khoobasoorat thi ki use bhulana priyahari ke liye kabhi sanbhaw n hoga. jinat ka jana priyahari ki sohabat ke liye ek khalish thi, jo bahut dinon tak bani rahi. tabtaka, jab-tak wanamala usake bahut karib n aa gaee. wanamala ke karib aane ki aahat to priyahari ke dil ko thi lekin priyahari aur wanamala donon ne us din lagabhag use taslim kar liya, jis din ki yah ghatana hai.
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samooche bachapan men faile huye the jhanpiyon aur andhere khandaharon ke we din
aarif ke kahane par hi priyahari wahan aaya tha. kahan ujjayini, kahan, bhopala, aur kahan kolikata aur fir yah jagah ? use kalpana bhi nahin thi ki yahi usaki jindagi ka lanba aur nirnayak padaw hone ja raha hai. tab bhi kya wah badal saka tha ? shayad nahin. atit use ab bhi sammohak lagata tha. smrtiyon men jita ab bhi wah apane ko alassubah hath men fool liye gopal mandir ki or bhagata huaa pata tha. subah aur sham ki aarati par uchcharit samawet swaron ke sath aage-pichhe hath laharate huye kath ke hathaude se ghante par tankar ki lay deta wah yoon doob jata ki jaise gopalaji mor mukut dhare abhiabhi mandir men prakat hone wale hi hain. tab wah ghanaghor roop men sadachari tha halanki ghar men achar ya singadana kharidane aaee apani samawayaska salama ki jhuki aankhon men tairati chamak se chamatkrt priyahari ka dil tab use ginane ki hidayaton ke hote bhi salama ke hathon ginati se kuchh adhik saunp jata tha. salama kuchh samajhakar tirachhi naj ron se use nihar dabe hothon se muskurati aur priyahari se waisi hi bhasha men jawab pa khush hoti aur khush karati laut jati thi. priyahari ke pariwar jaisi hi salama ke pariwar ki sthiti thi. n to we itane sanpann the ki unhen paise wala kaha ja sake, n itane wipann ki garibon ki tarah unhen gina ja sake. priyahari ko isaka isaka aabhas tha ki salama musalaman hai, lekin jab wah usake samane

hoti to wah khud ko aur salama ko apane-apane dayaron se bahar pata tha. wahan dharam donon taraf aankhon ki chamak aur othon ki muskan men aalingit huaa ek ho jata tha. waise bhi use apane mohalle men hindu aur musalaman kabhi majahab ke rang men naj r nahi aate the. weshabhoosha aur juban se gar pahachan ubharati bhi to wah chhokare aur chhokariyon, garib aur amir ki pahachan se kamatar huaa karati thi. priyahari ke pita shuddhataः mahatma gandhi ke anuyayi aur aajadi ke pahale ke kangresi sanskrti ke the. sahity aur sanskrti ke we gahan adhyeta the. aajadi ke aandolan men tab ke bade-bade rahanumaon ke sath unhonne din gujare the. unhone asahayog aur sawinay awajnya ke aandolan ke daur men saikadon mil ki padayatrayen ki thin. apane khas mitr jo kisi ek wishesh sanpraday ke sant the ki prerana se ek wishalakay granthakar ke sanchalak bhi warshon tak rahe aaye the. angrej adhikariyon ke chhape ke dauran kis chaturaee se unhonne sare pratibandhit granth chhipa liye the isaka jikr we bade gauraw se kiya karate the. yuddh aur shanti, anna kairinina, nataradaim ka kubada, aparadh aur dand , boodha goriyo, pita aur putra, gadi walon ka katara, tam kaka ki kutiya, chairi ka bagicha , man jaisi amar krtiyon ke sath hi unhonne saiksatan blaik sirij aur sar aarthar kanan dayal ke jasoosi upanyason aur un jamanon men sanasanikhej aur bold samajhe jane wale landan rahasy jaisi jane kitani krtiyan padh rakhi thin. dewakinandan-durgaprasad khatri, premachanda, gopalaram gahamari aur maithilisharan gupt hindi ke aur rawindranath tatha sharatachandr bangala ke unake priy lekhak the. us kal tak pita sahit priyahari ke pariwar men koee sadasy aisa n tha jisane chauthi-panchawi ke aage ki shiksha paee ho lekin yah wichitr tha ki din ho ya rat poore pariwar men padh ne aur jo padha usapar charcha ki dhunaandhar lat samaee huee thi. daraasal yahi we awagun the jisake karan priyahari ke pita ko us ghar se nishkashit kiya gaya tha, jahan jaisa ki charchaon men sunane milata tha, paise ginane ki bajay payali se mapakar dhar diye jate the. chhoti umar men hi shadi ka tab riwaj tha. aise men kama-dhamakar paisa banane ki jagah jamapoonji ke foonkane ko tab aawaragardi ke siway aur kya kaha ja sakata tha ? tab bhi pita apane men santusht raha karate the. we swabhimani aur tunakamijaj the. apani jindagi men unhe kisi ka hastakshep pasand n tha. priyahari ko bataya gaya tha ki pita ko aajadi ke aandolan ke daur men hi natakon ka bhi khoob shauk tha. we padane ke alawa khud likhate bhi the. natakon ka shauk itana badh chala tha ki un jamanon men bahar se tin hajar roopayon ke karj se ek natak mandali bana rakhi thi. jamana parasi thiyetar aur mukke sinema ka tha. pita unhen bataya karate ki kis tarah thiyetar men parade par kis tarah chitr ekyek kar prakat hote aur kis tarah sinema ka malik baboolal khud hath men lanbi chhadi liye taswir men ankit drshy ki wyakhya karata samajhata tha. pita bhi aajadi ke masalon par parasi thiyetar ki chhaunk ke sath natak taiyar karate aur unhen shahar men aur door-daraj jagahon par kabhi khule men aur kabhi sinema-thiyetar kiraye par le khela karate the. kabhi ek bar to thiyetar men thik prastuti ke wakt kalektar ka faraman aa pahucha tha ki natak men angreji hukoomat ke khilaf baten hain isaliye natak par pabandi lagaee jati hai. mauj men we khud budhape se dhal chuki aawaj men kabhi-kabhi apane natakon ke git jab pariwar ke bachchon ko sunate to sab hans pada karate the. priyahari soch raha tha ki kya we pita ke hi gunawagun the jinako uttaradhikar men pakar wah duniyadari se laparawah filasafar huaa chala gaya tha. waisa n tha to kyon usane garibi ke sangharshon ke bich paee wah naukari chhod di, jise pane log paisa dete edi yan ragada karate the ? usaki smrtiyon men sare chitr tair rahe the. bahar ka sach gujar jata hai, andar ka sach fir bhi raha aata hai . stri-purush ka prem aur ratikriya samaj men kabhi bhi waidh mane gaye hon, aisa maine nahin suna . ratikriya ka niyaman wiwah ki sanstha ne danpaty ne samaj men kar jaroor diya hai lekin wiwah men prem ki charcha kabhi nahin huee . pyar hamesha bandhanon ko fandane ki koshish karata raha hai aur fandakar hi hota hai . sanchit yaunarati jab kisi wiparitalingi par chitt men kendrit ho jati hai tab wah pyar ho jata hai . samany yaunarati kewal

yaun ki chahat hai aur pyar usaka wisheshikrt roop . yah ग़ौratalab hai ki pyar bhi tab tak hi pyar raha aata hai jab tak wah ratikriya ki atrpt pyas hai . pyas bujhane ki rookawaten khatm huee nahin ki sara kuchh kho jata hai . prem men bhi wiwah ka padaw aisa hi mod hain . aisa kyon hona chahiye ? isake pichhe shayad astitw aur waran ki swatantrata ko banaye rakhane ka manowijnyan hai . yaunarati ki chahat manushy ke janm ke sath hi judi hoti hai . yaunang chhipaye jane ki chij hai, usaki charcha, pradarshana, kriya warjit samajhe jate hain . shayad isiliye wahi bachche ko tabhi se lubhane lagata hai jab usaki chetana yaunang ko mahasoos karane lagati hai . tin-char sal ki umr se hi yah mahasoosana shuru ho jata hai . tab ek or warjanayen hoti hai aur doosari or warjanaon ko todane ke liye ekant aur sath ki tiwr kamana se bhari koshishon ko aaranbh hoti hai . yah kamana itani tiwr hoti hai ki jahan se bhi nikal bhagane ki sandhi ho chahe wah nar ho ya nari manushy ka chitt nikal bhagata hai . kamana ki trpti ke liye sathi ki chahat fir jiwanabhar chalane wali chitt ki prakriya ban jati hai . aisi prakriya jo bahar se aawrtt andar ki itani aur aisi dishaon men le jati hai ki manushy ka sara jiwan usase parachhaee ki tarah parichalit hota hai . yah wah adrshy hai, jo kabhi kabhi to samaj ki sari warjanaon ko tod wisfutit hota hai . awasad se aparadh tak ke dayare isamen sammilit hote hain . ghar se bhag jana, aatmahatya, balatkara, hatya aur anyatha sari kunthayen isi se janm leti hai . ham logon ka gharoba ka tha . ham yani mera sadharan madhyamawargiy ghar aur ham ki waha, yani usaka ghar sahookar ka hawelinuma do manjila badi-badi kothariyon aur pachison kamaron wala bahut bada ghar . oopar ek or unaka rahawasa, bich men wishal aangan aur isake ird-gird badi badi kothariyan jinamen unake bade kirana wyapar ke samany anaj nariyal wagairah ki saikadon boriyan, bans ke badebade pitare jinamen n jane kya saman aata tha . bade-bade kartans unamen thanse rahate the . aangan aur we nim-andheri kothariyan is ghar ke chand badon ke bad bach rahe bachchon ke liye luka-chhipaee khelane oःr jijnyasaon ko kholane ke kam aati thi . un dinon bijali us kasbe tak nahin pahunchi the ham chhote the . chhoton men kuchh bade. usaka nam kaweri tha . ghar ki chhoti ladaki. usaki 14-15 sal ki umr thi . wishal aangan men idhar udhar kudarate aur kothariyon men chhipate bachchon ke sath ham donon bhi khiladi aur darshak the . kabhi-kabhi aise mauke aate jab paya jata ki nim andhere kone men khelate nanhon ke munne hafapaint se bahar hai aur we use tunn-tunn bajane tan rahe hain . ek khilandadi hansi hothon par tairati aur kaweri dantati - ''chhiः ye kya kar rahe ho, aisa nahin karate hain .'' yah sadharan anubhaw tha . waisa hota hi tha .isi mahaul men sal do sal gujar chale . main usase chhota tha, wah badi. wah makan jitana wishal tha usake liye wahan khelate bachche ham kam the . bachche tin-char-panch wagairah aur kamare kothariyan unake liye anant . bahar dookan men naukar wyast hote . kuchh bachche bahar sadakon par khelate aur kuchh do tin luki-chhipi men andar wyast . ek din hamane paya ki aangan ke kone nim andheri kothari ke pas tika pitara hil raha hai . kaweri ki najar padi boli chalo dekhate hai kya hai. nihayat dubali-patali aur sanwali kaweri chanchal thi . sahookar ki ladaki thi isaliye meri lidar wahi thi . hamane barik chhidron se jhankane ki koshish ki . dikhaee to pada nahin aawajen sunin . doodh ki malaee lagane men bahut achchha lagata hai - ek swar . mujhe maloom hai tumhen doodh pasand hai . isiliye aaj main malariःr lagakar aaya hoon - doosara swar . kaweri ne hothon par ek anguli tikaee aur meri aankhon men jhankate chup rahane ka sanket kiya . usane ek or se us jadoogar ke wishal pitarenuma jhanpi ka dhakkan uthaya . ham donon ne dekha babu aur lakkhu ke nanhen apana tunn lahara rahe hain . babu ka hath lakkhu ke kanpit par tha aur lakkhu malaee ki chikanaee se chakate babu ke kanpit ki ghundi nigalate honth chala raha hai . mera dil achanak thamane laga . wah thaharaw dil ki dhadakanon se tej hone ke pahale ka tha . is bar maine kaweri ki aankhen men dekha aur hothon par angunli tikate chup rahane ka sanket kiya . jhanpi ke andar bachche apane aap men is kadar tallin the ki hamane kab jhanpi kholi aur band kiya unhen pata hi nahin chala . kaweri ne mera hath pakadakar khincha aur boli -chalo apan bhi luka chhipi khelate hai . wah daudakar parale kinare ki nim andhareः kothari men ja chhipi . roshani ki chhaya un kothariyon men darawaje ke ird-gird hi rahati thi . shesh raha aata boriyon men chhipa andhera . mai usake pichhe

bhaga . boriyon ke oonche-niche dher par andhere men meri najaren kaweri ko tatol rahi thi . achanak ek jagah sarasarahat huee . dhire-dhire andaj se maine boron ki pahadiyon men wah ghati dhoondhi jahan kaweri chhipi thi . pas aane par usane aur dubakane ki koshish ki main pahuncha to us sankari jagah men ubhare bore se takara thik usake oopar gira . donon ka uthana mushkil tha . uthane sanbhalane ki koshish men kaweri ka badan mujhase aur chipaka pad raha tha . luka-chhipi ka khel kab doosare khel men badal gaya isaka pata hi nahin chala . donon ki sansen bhari huee ja rahi thi . meri chhati se kaweri ki chhati dabi pad rahi thi . janghaon ke bich ka lanb fan kadhe lapaka ja raha tha . kaweri fusafusaee - achchha lag raha hai,, dikhao . jahir hai ainthate lanb ki kamar par chubhan ko usane mahasoos kar liya tha . main dhili dhali haf paint pahanata tha aur kaweri waisi hi frak men thi . usane mere kanpit lanb ko pakada aur nim andhere men niharati boli aah bada achchha hai . kaweri ne meri god men sir jhuka kanpit lanb ki ghundi hothon ke bich nigalate poochha – main bhi dekhoon bhala kaisa lagata hai . meri adhirata wah badhaye ja rahi thi . usake hothon ko nigalata maine use wahin dabaya aur boron ki gadamadd ubhar ke bich ubhare usaki nanhin ke bich apani kaya ke wistar ko duba diya . bachchon ke apane hathon gudagudaye jane wala wah mansal wistar us roj pahali bar kahin aur kasarat karata gudaguda raha tha . ''hay re kitana achchha lag raha hai'' - kaweri budabudaee . adhik kaushal ki gunjaish n thi. chand minaton men yauwan ke ras se ham donon ke nanha-nanhin naha gaye the . fir kuchh der khamoshi rahi . aisa laga jaise donon ko nind aa chali ho . kaweri hi boli -chal uth chalate hai . mujhe chipakati aur mera chumma leti usane kahi tu bahut achchha hai . aaj mujhako pahali bar maja aaya . ab apan roj yoon hi khelenge, han. usane hidayat di ki ye bat kisi ko batani nahin hai . yah bhanpate huye ki ird-gird aawajahi to nahin hai . ham bahar nikal aaye . dopahar hone ko aaee thi aur bhookh ka samay tha . aangan men padi jhanpi ab bhi padi thi . kaweri ne dhakkan uthaya . donon nanhen kharagosh jhanpi se kulanch chuke the . us din ke bad kaweri ne pitariyon men jhankana chhod diya tha . jhanpiyon aur andhere khandaharon ke we din samooche bachapan men faile huye the . garmiyon men jab bade bujurg ghar ki chhanh men rahat dhoondhate the . tab nanhen ham log mitti ke khandaharon men luka chhipi kholate the . us luka chhipi ke andheron men ek ek do-do kar andhere konon men sath hona bhi ajib gudagudi bhara hota tha . khandahar ka andhera soona ekant badan ke andhere men chhipe upekshit se dosti karane aur khelane ki chah jagata tha. us upekshit ka ,jisaki taraf ujale aur swikrt rishton ki bhid men bhoole se bhi dekhana gunah tha. kabhi bade laundon ke samooh men hote the to we ajib tarah ke khel sikhate . khandaharon ke bade dhooh men imali ka ek wishal darakht tha . choodihar musalamanon ki bakariyan wahan mimiyati charati aur khelati thin . ekadh dafe yoon huaa ki badi umr ke shaitan launde wahan hamari aguwaee men pad gaye . bari-bari se we chhoton ko chunate aur putathon ke bich chadane ka khel sikhate . aanakani karane par we dantate aur maja lete . pashopesh men pade chhote unaki aajnya ka palan karate karate dar se bhag khade hote the . aabadi tab kam huaa karati thi . basti se bahar ek ded kos men hi jangal shuru hota tha . aanwalon ke khoob ped huaa karate . bhari dupahari patthar mar-mar aanwale jhadate aur jangal ki jhuramuton ko langh aadh ek mil door ghusakar wahan ke shant sannate ko dhukadhuki men mahasoosate khaddon, nalon, janawaron se aashankit khauf khate sanjh dhale tak laut aate the . un dinon yahi hamari pikanik ka khel tha . bachche ke us mukam tak bada ho chukane ke bada, jahan usaki deh ka gopan apane swargik ras ka ahasas karata, bachche men nishiddh kamanaon ki chulabulahat paida karata aadam ke bag men wicharan ki utkat prerana jaga deta hai, usake samane do hi baten rah jati hain. ek waha, jisamen wah swayan ko pata hai aur doosari waha, jo use nirantar khinchati aadam ke bag ki sair karane lubhati hai. wah umar aisi hi thi . auraton-ladakiyon ki duniya un dinon chaharadiwariyon ki hi huaa karati thi . isaliye unaki taraf dhyan chadati umar ke sath hi jana shuru huaa tha . aam taur par chhokaron ke samooh men chhokare hi yar huaa karate the. aakarshan ka sootr kya hai, usake niyam kya hain, yah kahana mushkil hai . samawayaskata men sath chipakane ka lagaw aur usaki chahat samanadharmita se paida hote the .

kuchh sathi aise hi huaa karate the . raman hakalata tha lekin sidha aur kushagr tha . usase meri dosti thi . sabhi usake ird gird rahate the . un dinon to waise chipakane-chipakane ki jugupsa kewal gudagudi men thi, lekin salon bad bade jawan ho jab ham naukariyon men the aur aage badhane ki jugat men ek bar sanyog se sath kisi nagar men mile to use maine apani purani yaden jagane apane hi sath thahara liya tha . khoob yaden duharayi gayi . meri kothari ke ekant men jab rat gaharane lagi to mahaul bhi jawani ki baton ka chal pada . sath sone men ham donon jhijhak gaye isaliye mapan ki gopan jijnyasa baton aur baton si baton men simat aaee . ham donon ka dhyan ek doosare ke param gopaniy purush dand par kendrit ho gaya tha . utawale path men sanasanata apana gopan paurush maine prakat kiya aur usase kaha ki sparsh kar wah janche ki kaisa hai ? usaka gopan paurush jab maine dekhana chaha to bade sankoch me padata wah raji huaa . usane nikala aur maine use jancha . wah bola kuchh nahin be, ek jaise hi hain . tera purushatw kuchh jyada mota hai . mera kuchh lanba lekin patala hai . is sab ke bawajood hamane waisa kuchh nahi kiya, jaisa bachapan men khel-khel men ho jaya karata tha . prayaः waisa khel sankoch-bhara aur ekantik huaa karata hai. bahut chhoti awastha men hi ghar se hastalanuma jagah men bahishkrt mujhe us mauj ka bhi anubhaw ho chala tha . wahan ham log ginakar kul das the . khana-pina,, rahana, padhana, skool jana sab niyamit aur saman tha . ham alag alag prshthabhoomiyon se aaye the . tisari-chauthi se aathawin-nawin ke bich ke widyarthi the. bhojan ke samay shuroo-shuru men ''sahanawawati, sahanau bhunakti, sahawiryam karawawahe'' ka mantr ham padhate the. bad men mantr to chhoot gaya aur sahakar men kewal bhawana rahi aaee thi . yek kamare men lain se char-panch khaten padati thi . kabhi-kabhi padhate-likhate mauj ka mahaul banata . waise mahaul ka khas maja tab banata jab kuchh aur sathiyon ki gairahajiri hoti aur kamara do ya char ke liye raton ko hamare bich chhod jata . sach hota ya jhooth janane ka jariya nahin tha lekin ganw ke we ladake dehat ki ''aipan aad lilara'' chhokariyon ke kisse chhedate aur lijalije chutakale sunate the. ek ne kissa sunaya ki koee ganw ki ladaki thi . apani dadi ke sath rahati thi . barasat ke din lag rahe the . pas ka jhadiram bagal ki andheri kothari men ganw ki us ladaki ke pichhe laga tha . budhiya thi bagal ki kothari men . jhadiram jab lalana ki jhadiyon men prawesh karane dand sanbhale aage badhane laga to aadhe bhay aur aadhe lobh se gadagadaee ganw ki ladaki wah lalana chikhi -'' dekh n daee jhadi har karat he mai ka karon .'' daee ne apani andheri kothari se hi jawab diya- ''bane he fulamat karan de jhadi lagahi tabhe tau banahi beti .'' usaka aashay warsha ki jhadi se tha. ganw ki us lalana ne usamen manachaha aashay dhoondh liya tha. usane jawab diya -‘ ja ab tanhi kahat has to mahoon kuchhu nai karanwa.‘ budhiya ka jawab usake liye swikrti ka bahana tha . usane jhadi ko sanbhala aur jamakar barasat kara apani sari jamin bhigo li . pahadon ke us hastal ka sanbandh ek paramarth sanstha se tha . dekhabhal ek babaji waidyaraj karate the . unaki ek najadiki marij dawakhanon ke andarooni hisse men unase parikshan kara aisi tasalli pa chuki thi ki un praud waidyaraj ki kothari men sooni dopahariyon men apana ilaj karane wah yoon ghus padati thi ki babaji bhi dhire-dhire usake marij ho gaye the . yah aisa marj tha ki marij hi marij ka ilaj kar sakata tha . kaee bar kautuk men parisar ke wishal bagiche men yahan wahan pedon ke pichhe chhipe ham chhokare do marijon ke milan aur ilaj ki jasoosi men lag jate the . tyauharon ki ya garmi ki chhutiःtayon men aisi raten bhi aati jab kamare men ek do tin khaten hi aabad hoti thin . maitri ke sanbandhon men najadiki gaharati chali gaee thi . sal dar sal gujar chale the . isaliye dooriyan bhag gaee thi . rat yoon lagata ki door-door kyon soya jaye . tab ek ke ishare se doosara pas ki khat men aa jata . baton hi baton men doosari khat kab gayab ho jati pata n chalata . fir dehon ka sath angon men sanasani bharata dand ko dand-baithak karane lagata. kishoron ke andar se bahar kulanchate unake we khulakar kab lipatate-jhapatate aapas men nap jokh karane aur takarane lagate isaka pata hi n chalata tha. pichhawada kabhi kishor dimag men ghusata n tha isiliye antataः ek doosare ka hath madad men samane aata aur dher sari jhag ugalate unhe shant kar jate the. ek-doosare

ko dekhane ki jijnyasa har kisi ke man men rahati thi.aur yoon fir sab ne dhire-dhire sab ko jan liya tha . hamamen se ek tha manirama, dubala patala, pakki kali rangat ka kishor . lekin usaki saralata aur swabhaw sabhi ko pasand the . tha to maniram sadharan hi kad ka hamin logon jaisa . balki kuchh chhote hi kad ka, lekin gahare shyam rang ke chikane chehare wale maniram ka andar wahan sabhi ko lubhata tha . wahan bhi gahari shyamata thi, lekin poori chikanaee ke sath . yah wichitr tha ki chhote kad ke sukumar maniram ka andarooni maniram auron se lanba aur lubhawana tha . wah sarwawidit ho gaya tha . yahan tak ki us pandrah ekad men faile bagiche se yukt hastal ka nepali mali sah chaukidar bhi jo umr men ham logon se bahut bada aur jawan tha sprha men aashchary karata aur bol uthata - ore baba re maine dekha hai maniram ko. wah to lanba hai, joradar hai . baba waidy to kya wahan ka chaukidara, wahan ka rasoiya jo badalate rahate the, sabhi apane-apane dhang se chalak the . bahar se naukaraniyan kam karane aati aur dhire-dhire yoon hota ki in sab ke tanawon ko rahat dene ka kam nibata jati thi . ek ladaka tha pooranadas . usake bare men chaukidar ne kabhi yah jana aur failaya ki kisi din pooranadas ne wishal lanbaee men pasare kamaron ke chhor pasari sidi par us parisar men ririyati kutiya se pashchalingan men apana prem darsha dala tha . kisi aur ek din bataya gaya ki subah-subah rasoee ya men rasoee banate rangin mijaj rasoiye khorabahara ne andar putaee karane gaee namakin reja majadoorani ke sath gupt rasoee bhi paka dali thi . bahana yah tha ki thik darawaje ke oopar diwar potani thi so sidi tikane aur sahara dene usane rasoee ka darawaja band kar liya tha . wah haf pent pahanata tha . reja ki putaee karane men use pareshani nahin huee hogi . din aur rat gujarate das men se sat-aath fel ya pas hokar ya digar pariwarik dabawon se hastal chhod chuke the . umar ke badate-badate ruchiyon aur sangat men bhi badalaw aa gaya tha . yahan ek bahut samrddh laibreri thi, jahan baithakar main sare akhabar aur patrikayen maya, manorama, manamohana, manohar kahaniyan, dharmayuga, hindustan wagairah chat jaya karata tha . wah sab to subah sham ka do do ghante ka dimagi nashta tha . dimag ka pet n bharata to seksa, bachchon ke sirij ke upanyasa, kushawaha kant ki kitaben, balzaka, sharatachandra, rawindra, bankima, yashapala, bhagawaticharan warma, guroodatt wagairah ke upanyason se dimag ko tanduroost karata . sehat ko angootha dikhata main samay bitata tha . charchaon men ab praudata thi aur skool ke doosare dost sath baithane lage the . yek tha aanand . wah skool ke khulane aur band hone ke bad kisi dubali, sanwali reshama ke didar se aankhe senkata tha . meri pasand sarojani thi, dubali-patali sutawan dehayashti ki ganbhir gori chhokari . ham donon apani apani pasand ki yadon men kasiden kadhate kawita, kahani ki udhedabun men rahate go ki wah us samay hamare bas ke bahar ki chij thi . pahadi kasbe ke ekamatr sinemaghar ke bagal men wah rahata tha aur filmon ke tukadon ko kanch ke lains se sinema ki tarah failakar dekhane ka shagal wah rakhata tha . tin-char mil ke dayare men aur sat-aath hajar ki aabadi ke kasbe men wah sinema roj sham bagair ghadi ghantaghar ka kam karata tha . poore shahar men wahan baj rahe gramofon hi aawaj goonjati thi . bahar laudaspikar aur rediyo ka chalan bhi bahut kam tha isaliye ''ankhiya milake najaren churake, ek do tin aaja mausam hai rangina, sanjh dhale khidaki tale tum siti bajana chhod do,'' wagairah ki tarang se krasbe ka mausam bhi romani ho jata tha . log samajh jate ki shuroowat chhaः baje se huee hai . thik sadhe-chhaः baje jab ''aarati karo har har ki karo, natawar ki, bhole shankar ki'' wali dhun bajati to pata lag jata ki sinema shuru ho raha hai . nadiya-janakawasa, jayaraja, nirooparaya, bhagawan aur mukari ki filmen aati jati rahati . dilipakumar dewananda, ashok kumara, rajakapoor jaise bade kalakaron ki ya jaimini, mahaboob soharab modi, filmistan ki filmen mahinon ke postar prachar ke bad jab aati to log ba-kayada gharon men sinema dekhane ke karyakram banate apani rojamarra ki sarani ko yojanapoorwak tabdil karate then . wah utsaw ki tarah huaa karata tha . madar indiya, mugale aajama, kohinoora, jangali, ganga jamuna, jis desh men ganga bahati hai, tumasa nahi denkha ke jamane tak meri skooling khatm ho chali thi aur charrati jawani ab naye sapane dekhane lagi thi . ye we din the jab pandit neharoo, lohiya aur chin bharat par chhaye the . nefa ki waradat garm ho rahi thi or krshn menan ka jadu gayab ho raha tha . is samay tak prakashit sara charchit sahity main

padh chuka tha . yashapal ka jhootha-sacha, tarashankar ka ganadewata, wibhootibhooshan ka pather panchali, aaranyaka, aur dher sara sahity main din-din padata baithata . bacha samay aawaragardi aur sinema dekhane men gujarata . yah daur mere pushpa yug men prawesh ka tha . nawin dasawin men padane wali yah chhokari thik samane ke makan men thi . pahadi gori rangat lekin aanchalik hindi ka pariwesh . chehara usaka andakar tha, sir se chipati ghungharali julfen, badi badi aankhen aur alhad adayen . ladakon ke samooh men kad kathi men asadharan hokar bhi main prakhar tha . pushpa se dekhadekhi ki shuruwat ek anokhe andaj men huee . aankhen jab-tab milati thin aur aankhon ke is milan men ek doosare ki gatiwidhiyon ko chahat ke sath dekhane ka lagaw jahir hai ham donon men chhipa tha . ek roj mai apane do manjile purane dhab ke bade ke darawaje samane nal ke kataghare men baitha tha . aasapas chhokare khel rahe the . koee aisi bat huee ki hamari aankhen mili, chamakin aur pushpa ke honthon ko usaki aankhon ki sangat men maine chuhal se hansate chehare ke sath hansata dekh liya . dilon ke tar khanakhana rahe the . meri aankhon ne use baraja aur mere nal ki sapat diwar par mere hathon ne likh diya hanson mat . wah aur muskuraee aur hansi . maine waisa isaliye likha tha ki aankhon se aankhon ki muthabhed logon ki aankhon men n aaye . bas kya tha sanketon ki bhasha par sahamati aur mauj ka mood badalakar ishk men tabadil ho gaya . mere do manjile ki khidaki se usake darawaje ki sidi dikhaee padati thi jahan wah baith jati thi . dekha-dekhi ka bukhar sar par is kadar chadha ki sammilan aur sahabhog ki chahat bechain karane lagi . ghanton ki takataki aur maun sanwad . un jamanon men awasaron ki chhoot jyada n thi to prem usaki pyas men hota tha . balki sach to yah hai ki ab bhi pyas hi prem hai . pyas bujhi ki prem khatam . isiliye ab to skool ke chhokare-chhokariyon ke bich khuli batachit ka mahaul aur mobail fon ne pyar ko pepsi bana liya hai . instent pyara, instent sanbhog . dewadas ki katha doharane yahan koee awakash nahin hai . auraten mard ki kamajori aur apani kimat janati hain. isaliye ab ho to yahan tak chala hai ki majaboor auraton ne hi nahin, balki bhadr shreni ki chhoriyon aur auraton ne mard ki majaboori ko manoranjan aur paisa kamane ka dhandha bana liya hai . kishori pushpa se mere kishor hraday ka ishk sal-ded sal chala. lekin majara wahi tha. ''sab kuchh saunpana, lekin tala n kholana'' ki naitikata aade aati thi. kamala meri padosan thi, takariban hamaumr gadaraya sh rira. kamala se mainne chitthi bhijawaee ki mera pyar pushpa kubool karati hai fir milane se kyon katarati hai ?'' kamala chitthi ke sath hi chitthi ka jubani jawab laee'-''wo kahati hai ki nahin. wah kam sanbhaw nahin.'' utawala hota main dhire-dhire bahut adhir ho chala. sare aam pushpa ko chhedana, mohallon men t yooshan par jate usamen joode se fool khinch lena, fikare kasana, usake ghar men sikachon ke par kankad men fansakar mohabbat ke puraje fenkana wagairaha. holi men mainne sare aam use chhedate usake galon par rang pot diya. apani samajh men diwanagi ke waise ijahar se main hiro bana ja raha tha. mujhe kya maloom tha ki aurat ki nigah men pyar bandhanon aur poshidagi men hota hai. us par hak jatana aur sarerah dawa thokana stri ki nigah men abhadrata aur gundagardi hote hain. pushpa mujh par naraz huee aur yoon roothi ki bad ka bada arasa mere liye mayoosi aur udasi ka raha aaya. bad men aawaragard aur gair-jimmedar hone se bachane mujhe kahin aur door bhej diya gaya. pushpa kahan gaee, kahan hai fir mainne nahin jana. yah kaishory ka wah daur tha jawan chadati umar us bachhade ki hoti hai jo chad to nahin pata lekin chadane ki utawali bhari koshish jaroor karata hai. pushpa se sanbandhon-asanbandhon ka daur bitate-bitate hi meri nikatata aarasi se ho lagi thi. kishorway badi ajib hoti hain. pyar-wyar to jo kuchh hota ho, ek kism ki chanchal utawali aur khilandadapan jyada hota hai. bhawishy ke jiwan ki sachchaiyon aur utar-chadaw ka tab waisa dhyan nahin hota hai jaisa praud hote-hote aadami anubhaw itana hai. aarasi aur meri umr men takariban tin sal ka fark tha. use mujhase umr men kafi bada mera rahanuma dost byah kar laya tha. dost ki umar agar pachchis thi to meri satrah aur aarasi ki bisa. wah us shahar men akela tha. halanki main chanchal aur aawaragard samajha jata tha, padane-likhane ki ganbhir ruchiyon men hamamen dosti paida kar hi thi. rajaniti, sahity aur digar jnyan-wijnyan ke mamalon men ham dono men khoob charcha hoti. dost aur aarasi ke

samane main bas bachcha hi tha. main aksar unhin ke yahan raha aata tha. andar kishor sulabh jijnyasayen thin, jnyan-wijnyan ke liye bhi aur lugaee stri-deh ke prati bhi. bada dekhane ki koshish karane par bhi kaya aur wyawahar men aisa bachapana tha ki main yuwa ya yuwa jaisa bada samajha jane ke kabil unaki nigah men n tha. dost ki gairahajiri men bhi baten karana-gappen ladana aur chhotemote kamon men hath batana, sauda sulaf pas ki dookanon se lana-lejana men apane dost aur aarasi ka lagabhag priy anuchar hi tha. main khud bhi apani us haisiyat se khush tha. n jane kyon bahut dinon tak anyatha koee bat mere chitt men aaee bhi nahin. aarasi aaee to dehat ke kisi bade ghar se hi thi, lekin anindy sundari thi.bedag gulabi chamak aur suchikaran dehayashti ke hath usaki jawani kaishory se aage bad chali thi yadyapi apane sahaj swabhaw aur gramin sanskaron ke chalate shahar men hone ke bawajood usake wyawahar men kishorapan hi chhalakata tha. mere dost pati ki tarah hi us aarasi men bhi khulapan aur nishchhalata thi. usaka khoobasoorat chaukor chehara bhara-bhara tha. aankhen apani chamakati bhoori putaliyon ki lubhawani chamak ke sath badi-badi thin. mulayam gulabi hothon ke bich usaki jhakk safed dantawali jaise samanupatikata men yatn se tarashi gaee thi. jab wah sahaj muskurahatanuma hansi hansati to wistarit gulabi hotho ke bich usaki dantawali ki chamak usaki anagad surili aawaj ki khanak ke sath bijali ki chakachaundh paida karati thi.usake waksh pusht the aur choliyon ke bich kunbhon ki tarah ubhare dikhaee padate the. sadharan auraton men bra ka chalan bad men dhire-dhire huaa tha lekin bagair bra ke bhi choli ke kasaw men stanon ki nukili ghundiyan spasht dikhaee padati thin. chehara hi nahin, aarasi nakh se shikh tak komal badan ki tarashi jiti-jagati gudiya ki tarah thi. usaki kesh-rashi ghani thi. kali ghata ki tarah saghan kesh-rashi apani halki salawaton ke sath ghungharalepan ka aabhas deti aur sir se pith par laharati katipradesh ke niche tak usaki ayatnaj dehati choti ke roop men faili jhoolati rahati thi. yah ajib bat thi ki kishori kaminiyon ke prati lalak bhari chahat ke bawajood mera dhyan bahut adhik apane thik karib khelati is khoobasoorat aawaj gudiya par nahin gaya tha. sahaj pariwar jaise aapas ke sanbandho aur wiwahita ki haisiyat ke sath usake umr men bade hone ke ahasas ke chalate shayadawaisa nahi ho paya tha. fir achanak ek din aisa huaa ki pahali bar us ahasas ne mujhase prawesh kiya. basant ka mausam aur holi ka mahaul tha, holi abhi do-din ki door thi. sham ka samay hone ko aaya tha. jab mainne usake ghar prawesh kiya to wah safaee ke simenti chaukhate par joothe bartan ghis rahi thi. meri or usaki pith thi isaliye mera aana wah dekh n paee thi. apani kishor sulam chanchalata men dabe panw pahunch maine pichhe se hatheliyan bada usaki palakon par anguliyan rakh din. aarasi men alhad khulapan tha. isaliye halke se chaunkane ke bawajood wah bhayabhit n huee. meri anguliyon ko usane apani anguliyon ke sparsh se pahachana aur boli-'chhodo na, main bartan manj rahi hoon. mera nam usha rate usane kaha ki main pahachan gaee tum amuk ho.'' anaupacharik sanbandhon ka mahaula, basant ka mausam aur us khas kshan ki rangat achanak kuchh aisi ho uthi ki usaka gulabi chehara apani astawyast alakon ke sath kinchit lalima se bhar gaya tha. mainne palakon par se anguliyan hata di thin . lekin achanak we lalima se sakriy ho use usake galon par chahalakadami karane lagin. usaki aankhon ne ek bar mudakar mujhe nihara tha, lekin awarodh ka bhaw n to aankhon men tha n mudra men. safaee ki chaukhat ke lanbe sankare kor par wah baithi thi isaliye badan asantulan men ladakhada gaya tha wah pichhe ludakane jaisi ho rahi thi-''chhodo na, main gir jaoongi -usane kaha. mere ghutanon par wah thami thi. galon se hatheliyan hatin aur n jane kya mujhe kya soojha ki usake kamar ko dono hathon se gherate apani hatheliyon men usake gadaraye kumbhon ko thame aage jhukate huye usake gulabi hothon par mainne apane hoth rakh liye. sara kuchh aakasmik aur aniyojit tha. usaki sanson ki dhadakanon ki teji meri hatheliyon men fanse kaya- kunbhon ke utar-chadaw se meri nason men pahunch rahi thi. wah kah rahi thi-''tum bhi achchhe ho. koee dekh lega to ! dekho darawaja khula hai.'' us wakt achanak mere balat bandhan se mukt samane khadi aarasi ke chehare par meri najar padi thi. mainne dekha ki aarasi ke gulal mishrit doodh jaisi gori rangat ka chehara achanak gahari lalima se bhar utha tha. komalata ki jagah wahan jadata ne le li thi. aarasi ki mudra ganbhir ho uthi thi aur wani mook ho chali thi. usaki badi-badi aankhen lal hoti aansuon se dabadaba rahi thi. we mookata men

mujhe ghoor rahi thin. mera man tab bhay se bhar utha tha. is aashanka se ki wah naraj n ho uthi ho aur kahin chugali n kar baithe mera man ghabara raha tha. jiwan ke bad ke padawon men fir kabhi yah jnyan huaa ki waisi awastha stri men narajagi men hi nahin, apitu wasanaon se dipt deh ki sanbhogatur kamana men bhi prayaः prakat hoti hai. aise hi padawon men pyar ki wichitr katha bani.

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''hay priyo, luk hiyara'' : wanamala banam anusha

wah jade ki shuruaat ki ek gunaguni subah ka din tha. wahan subah ka samay prayaः shant aur kolahal rahit hota tha. stanf room men priyahari akela baitha tha jab wanamala ne jade ki gunaguni dhoop ki tarah hi hare pallu ki pili sadi men ek sath hi stanf room aur priyahari ke dil men is jagah pahale-pahal prawesh kiya. wanamala ko dekhate hi priyahari ko tab aisa laga tha jaise hawa ke ek khush boodar jhonke men samaee kalakatte ki wah bangali bala anusha dabe panw usaka pichha karati use chaunkane samane aa khadi huee ho. pal bhar men hi anupasthit-upasthiti ki apani waisi prabha men samet priyahari ko wah us jagah uda le chali thi jo is wakt usaki smrtiyon ko aandolit kar raha tha. subah-subah hawada ke wishal relawe steshan par wah utara tha. steshan kaimpas ke bahar sate huye gumatinuma stal par usane utani subah hi garamagaram idaliyon ke sath chay li thi. lanbi yatra ki thakawat se us tarah usane rahat ki sans li thi. najar jahan-jahan daudati gaee usane paya tha ki ek karod ki janasankhaya ka kasmapolitan mahanagar samajhe jane ke bawajood yahan bhi apani bhid ke sath wahi dehati bhadesapan barakarar tha jo hindustan ke har bade-chhote shahar men attalikaon aur jhopadiyon, bhadralok aur akinchanawat jan ke bich pasara hota tha. mumbaee ka mahanagar hi ek apawad tha. wahan ki chakachaundh aur usamen aatmakendrit jan ke rele ke wiparit yahan futapathon, bajaron, galiyon men kasbaeepan ka thik waisa hi mahaul paya jata tha jaisa usake anubhaw men basa tha. aadhe kilomitar par hi aawara sandon, hathagadiyon, manaw-rikshon ke sath tadatmy sthapit kiye sadati sabjiyon ka dher pasara tha aur un sab ke sath sab ko chirakar nikal jane ki kasmakas men tramon, taiksiyon, aur karon ki chikh daud rahi thi. haton, pukuron, tolon, padon aur saraniyon men pasare is mahanagar ne jald hi use bhi lil liya tha. bahut dhire-dhire usaki samajh men aaya ki roshogulla, robindro bharati, aitihasik mahatw ke pustakalayon, kalighat ki sthayi chahal-pahala, espleneda, presidensi kaleja, nandan thiyetar aur jyotibabu men racha-basi usaki ek khas sanskrti hai, jo samanata men bhi wishishtata liye kolakata ko alag pahachan deti hai. tab wah bhi usaka gunagan yoon karane laga tha jaise us jamin par usaka paidaishi hak ho. ab wah nawagantukon ko waisi hi chidane wali nigahon se taulata jaisa use shuruwati dinon men taula jata tha. wah jaise badastoor ek niyam tha, jisase har nawagantuk ko gujarana hota tha. ab usaki juban ne bhi wakyon aur shabdon ke akarant par okarant ki parat sagarw chadha li thi. usaka wyaktitw aisa tha ki andar se ekantik hota bhi samaj aur mahaul men apani upasthiti darj karaye bina wah chain se nahin baith sakata tha. marksawadi rajaniti aur tred yooniyan ke taur-tarikon men rang chalane men use jyada samay nahin laga tha. takariban do sau sarakari-gairasarakari kalejon ka niyaman karane wali yooniwarsiti ke apane doorasth kalej ka wah hissa ban chuka tha. ajanabiyat ka pahala mahina gujarate-gujarate pachas-sath

ke staf wale us kalej ka hissa priyahari ban chuka tha. jald hi apani pratibha aur wyaktitw se lokapriyata aur ijjat hasil karane men wah safal huaa tha. usaka khud ka thikana bahu bajar ki nayi-purani imaraton ke bich do kamaron ka ek flait tha jo ek sadi se rache-base marawadiyon ki milkiyat ka ek hissa tha. ek-do ko chhod usaki sanstha ka sara staf is metropolitan ke uttara, dakshina, poorw aur pachchhim se lanbi dooriyan par kar pahanchata tha. bahuteron ke apane ghar the aur kuchh beghar the. shikshakon men unaki apani sima chahe jo ho lekin kahane ke liye sab ki apani thasak thi. kajol ke pas angreji ke sath suharawardi ewenyu ke ledi breborn kalej se bi.ye men french ki digri thi. gardan rich ki or rahane wali wibhawari saltalek ilake ke skatish charch ki studaint rahi aaee thi. anusha ne midil taun ke loreto se mainejament ka kors kiya tha aur bainking ki wisheshajnya samajhi jati thi. nihar ko garw tha ki wah presidensi kalej ka student tha. priyahari jaise kuchh ek hi the jo ujjaina, dilli, banarasa, patana, ranchi se bhatakate yahan aa pahuche the. shuroo-shuru men lagata tha ki is mahanagar ka yah kalej bhi mahan hoga lekin jald hi priyahari ko anubhaw ho gaya ki wahan bhi mahaul waisa hi tha jaisa desh ke kisi bhi aam shiksha-sansthan men huaa karata tha. waise hi chhatr aur chhatrayen, waisi hi pathyakram kendrit taiyari aur padaee ki khanapoori, waise hi chhatrasangh ke chunawon ki hulld , waisi hi hadatalen aur waise hi samajhaute jaise har jagah huaa karate the. yahan ki rajaniti aur jagahon se kuchh adhik garam huaa karati thi. batbat par ilake ke netaon se lekar bade samajhe jane wale neta tak dilachaspi lete yoon dakhal dete jaise koee rashtriy masala aa khada huaa ho. kuchh hi salon men priyahari ka man uchat ho chala tha. us ek din wah bi.bi.di bag se paidal hi chaurangi tak chala aaya tha ki kisi ek parichit swar ka sangitik lay kanon se ulajh gaee '' hay priyo, luk hiyar '' priyahari ne palatakar najar daudaee. karib hi use sunahale kinaron se saji hari sadi aur kusumbhi chhintadar blauj men kasa wah chehara dikhaee pada jis par kandhe tak laharatin kesharashi aur mathe par julf ki laten lahara rahi thin. '' tum dekhate hi nahin. kab se tumhen dekhati main hath hilaye ja rahi hoon.'' '' mujhe kya maloom onni diyar ki tum yahan shaping kar rahi ho.'' yah anusha thi. staf men sab se nirali aur behad nafasat-pasand samajhi jati thi. gappon se use nafarat thi. aisa kabhi-kabhar hota jab anusha aur priyahari ke sath-sath mil baithane ka sanyog hota. charcha men rajaniti aur kalchar hi onni ki ruchi ke wishay the. jab kabhi mauka aur furasat ke lamhe milate, donon ke bich khoob baten hotin. lagaw to jahir tha lekin pyar-wyar ke chakkar tak pahunchane se rah gaya tha. we sath-sath esplened ki taraf bad chale the. anusha ke hath ka thaila priyahari ne tham liya tha. chalate-chalate anusha ne shikayat ki'' yu nati hindi, ye onni kya hai ? main anusha hoon. jyada se jyada onusha. '' '' sari diyar ledi. tum ''onusha'' hokar to sab ki rahi aati ho. mera apana to usase alag kuchh aur hona chahiye na.'' '' apana hi chahiye to nam kyon nahin badal dete ?'' '' jaise ?'' '' jaise onupriya. aur kya ? '' kafi haus men baithe ham thandi kafi ki chuskiyan le rahe the. wahi hamari pasand thi. ''main kalej se hi idhar nikal aaee thi. tumhen kuchh khabar hai ?'' main kisi kam ki wajah se do dinon ki chhutti par raha aaya tha. anusha ne bataya ki mera wahan chayan ho gaya hai, jahan apane aawedan par pichhale mahine sakshatkar dekar main lauta tha. '' tel mi, wil yu bi jaining deyar ? yu aar eksapekted deyar bai di end aaf dis wik aanali '' '' wai nat ? aafakors ''- n jane achanak mere muh se jawab nikal gaya tha. '' aaee newar kud ases dait yu kud aalaso bi hom-sik so mach . hamara bangal kitana achchha hai ? didant yu laik as ''

'' no, its nat laik dait '' '' ou, nau dont tail mi dait '' priyahari se kuchh kahate n bana tha. tab se lagatar usake man men yah ahasas bana raha aaya ki kahane men usane galati kar di thi. bahut der tak anudgaः aur wah aamane-samane baithe rahe the. man men baten hi baten kahane ko bhari thin par donon ke hoth jaise sil gaye the. ek udas chhaya thi jo donon par mandara rahi thi. kitani der waisa raha wah batana kathin tha. wah antim drshy tha jab donon ke maun ek-doosare ki aankhon men takaraye the aur bahar nikal ek thandi '' o qe dain '' ke sath alag-alag dishaon men mud chale the.

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nau bajakar chalis minat : hare pallu ki pili sadi
tum aayin mano gulabi dhoop nikal aayi ho -yek bimba/shamashera/kahin bahut door se sun raha hoon/

wanamala par nigah padate hi n jane kis ajnyat prerana se use niharate priyahari ke munh se we shabd foot pade the - ''wau ! yu aar luking wandaraful tude. weri byootifula. is pili sadi men aaj tum bahut khoobasoorat lag rahi ho. haritima men lipati amalatas ki swarnim pitabh wasanti chhata !'' samane diwar par tangi ghadi par kante darsha rahe the - nau bajakar chalis minata. priyahari us wakt nahin janata tha ki hare pallu ki pili sadi men lipati wanamala ki chhabi ke sath ghadi ke kante usake dil men wakt ko hamesha ke liye yoon thamakar rakh chale hain ki ruka huaa wah pal usaki niyati ho chala hai. aisi niyati jisamen wanamala aur usaka sara kuchh ulajhakar rah jane wala hai. yah wah wartaman tha, jisamen chhipa bhawishy unaki adaon par muskura raha tha. achanak aur apratyashit waisi tarif se wanamala ki aankhon men chamak aur anyatha ganbhir hothon par smiti ek sath fail gaee thi. prasann sankoch men doobi usane priyahari ki aankhon men jhankate yoon jawab diya tha jaise use us par wishwas n ho raha tha, jo usane abhi-abhi priyahari se suna tha. ''achchha ! aisa hai kya ? kya sachamuch main khoobasoorat lag rahi hoon ya aap majak kar rahe hain'' - wanamala boli. priyahari ne jawab diya - ''han sachamucha. bahuta, bahut khoobasoorata. bharosa n ho, to poochh lo aaeene se.'' ''aaeena hai kahan ? laoon kahan se ? aap hi laiye, zara dikhaiye to.'' ''mera dil jo hai. jhank lo usamen.'' wanamala sharamaee bhi aur khush bhi huee. usake kapolon par lali chamak uthi. aurat chahe wah koee aur kaisi bhi kyon n ho, apani prashan sa par fooli nahin samati.

- ''achchha ! agar aisa hai tab to aaj mujhe aap ko chay pilani padegi.'' wanawala ka mood

khil gaya tha. wah mood jo ajnyat dabawon se usi tarah awagunthit rahata tha jaisa priyahari men kahin tha. wah bahut khushanuma din tha. us din ki khushanumaee dhire-dhire un donon ke dilon men fail chali thi. wanamala ki aahat ki pratiksha karata priyahari ka dil dhadakata tha. aankhen usake intajar men bichhi rahati thin. bola chahe kuchh jaye lekin roj samana hote hi aankhen milatin, khilatin aur ek-doosare men chhipe us maun sandesh ko pad leti jo likhe do dilon dwara jate lekin jinaki ibarat ek si hoti thin. yah ab aadat men shumar ho chala tha. isi ke sath wah poshidagi aur sankoch bhi aadatan shamil ho gaye the jo auron ke samane unake hoth sile rakhate the. aankhen is sankoch ka fayada uthane lagi thin. jitani bara, jitani der rahana, aamana-samana hota - chahe baithe ya chalate-firate, we apana kam kar jati thin. maun men chhipa yah wyapar aisa sankramak tha ki usake liye un donon ka kuchh kahana nahin, bas hona hi kafi tha. is wakt jab rat ke chauthe pahar men wanamala priyahari ki yadon men ghusi chali aa rahi hai, jaroor wah bhi kahin n kahin wanamala ke sapanon men awashy tahalata paya jayega bhale hi donon milon door kyon n hon. wah kaun si chij rahi hogi jo alag-thalaga, udas aur ajnyat pidaon se grast dilon ko jode ja rahi thi ise thik-thik nahin kaha ja sakata. lekin yah jo apane aap ho raha tha usake pichhe shayad priyahari aur wanamala donon ki wrttiyon, paristhitiyon aur soch ki samanata rahi hogi. priyahari ki tarah wanamala bhi bahari dikhawon ki taraf se laparawah aur sadagi pasand thin. wah bhi ek nichale madhy warg se thi jahan simit sadhanon ke bich jindagi palati aur badati hai. wah bhi priyahari ki tarah hi kasbaee sanskaron wali lekin unnat moolyon aur soch ki hami thi. donon ki bhasha aur likhawat auron se jyada nafis aur khoobasoorat thi. priyahari ki taraf se khas bat yah thi ki wah wanamala men wah bangala romans aur aakarshan aata tha jo aaranbh se hi usaki chahat men the. wanamala ki or se shayad yah ki gahan wichara,darshana, adhyayan aur kala-sahity-sanskrti ki gahari abhiroochi jo priyahari men thi, use bandhati thi. priyahari ki dili ichchha rahi ki wanamala ke andar jo chhipi pratibhayen wah dekhata tha unhen ujagar hota bhi wah dekhe. wah kalpana men dekhata ki wanamala bhi un oonchaiyon par pahunch rahi hai aur jiwanasathi banakar priyahari aur wanamala sath-sath ghar men in par bahasen kar rahe hai, likh rahe hain, ek-doosare ko rahat pahunchane chay ki pyali thama rahe hain aur sthapit wyaktitwon ki tarah ek-doosare ke sath jindagi basar kar rahe hain. itane karib ki jahan dooriyon ka ahasas kho jata hai. tab bhi dooriyan to thi hin. dooriyon se priyahari ka man masosata tha. aisi hi kasamasahat wanamala men bhi priyahari dekhata tha. tab fark yah ki bahuta, bahut karib aate-aate wanamala mano hamesha madhyawargiy naitikata ka dhal achanak sachet ho tan leti thi, jo khulane se use rok leta raha tha . us din donon ne achanak saunp diye kam ko sath baithakar karana shuru kiya tha. un kamaron ke chakkar sath-sath lagaye the, jinhen khoobasoorat banaya jana tha. un diwaron ka muaayana kiya tha, jinamen we khoobasoorat kala-krtiyon ki pratikrtiyan lagane ki yojana par kam kar rahe the. sath-sath badate donon us aakhiri kamare tak pahunche jo abhi khali tha. apane se sati khadi wanamala se, jo darawaje par hi atak gaee thi, priyahari ne kaha – “ye..i wanamala, ab andar bhi aao n !'' donon ki nazaren milin. wanamala ki nazar ne priyahari se kaha - ''shararat ! mujhe maloom hai. galiyare aur kamare men bhatakate dil ke dhadakanon ki bhasha tumhari tarah main bhi sun rahi thi. mera dil ab bhi dhadak raha hai. kahin tumane mujhe banhon men bandh lipataya aur choom liya to ?'' juban ki bhasha usaki alag thi. boli - ''aaj rahane do, chalo ab chalate hai. fir kabhi dekhenge.'' us din priyahari aur wanamala ne pahali bar mahasoos kiya ki tab maujood chand logon ki najaren ab unhen padane ki koshish men lag chuki hain. unhen kya maloom tha ki jin nazaron se we khud ko chhipana chahate the we hi bad men aisa kahar dhane wali hain ki donon ki jindagiyan tabah ho jayen. wanamala se priyahari aur priyahari se wanamala ka lagaw mukammal shakl leta ja raha tha. subah tab tak aur logon ka aana, daftar ki chahal-pahal jab tak shuru n hoti tab tak apane kamakaj ke bich se hi churaye samay men donon aapas men baten kar lete the. baten sidhe mohabbat ki hon, yah n

tha. balki yah ki chhoti-chhoti mulakaton, baithakon aur alafajon ke dauran sath ke lamhe hi mohabbat ka ijahar kar dete the. jyadatar we to kam bolate, unaki nigahen jyada bat karati thin. wanamala ke mijaz ka yoon koee bharosa n rahata. jab-tab wah udasa, thaki aur awasad se grasit najar aati thi. aise men chuppi usaka aujar huaa karata thi. wah gumasum rahi aayegi. n bat karegi, n koee bat sunegi. jaisa ki dhire-dhire priyahari ne jana pati ke tane aur ghar ki jimmedariyan use tanawagrast aur udas kar jate the. is tarah ke mahaul men usaka mayoos gussa kabhi-kabhi priyahari par tootata tha - ''aapako kya hai ? kam-dham hai nahin isaliye bas mohabbat soojhati hai. yahan to char-char kakshayen hain aur fir yahan se bhagakar ghar ke bojh sanbhalo.'' wanamala ke mood ki chabi usake ghar men thi. jab khush hoti to ek bhadr aur buddhimati sathi ki tarah pesh aati aur pesh hoti thi. bahut jyada fursat se sath baithane ka mauka ab tak nahin mil pata tha.

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kya aisa nahin ho sakata ki shadiyan miyadi samajhaute ki shakl men hon?
samay badala. ek din aisa huaa ki kagaj ka ek sarakari faraman wanamala aur priyahari - donon ko mila. likha tha ki subah ki parikshaon men priyahari aur wanamala donon ko sath-sath jimmedari nibhani thi. apana purja lekar us din jab priyahari stanf room pahuncha to dekha ki wanamala wahan maujood hai. dopahar bad tak us din log wahan wyast the. is samay ab we chalane ki taiyari men the. priyahari aur wanamala ki nigahen mili. priyahari ne poochha - ''kagaj mila ?'' usane kaha - ''han.'' us din nigahon ki takarahat men ek-doosare ke liye chamak bhara sandesh tha - ''kitane dinon se tamanna thi ki aisa mauka mile jab ham aadhikarik roop men sath hon. fursat ke lamhe hon ,bich men koee n ho aur ham khoob milen. eeshwar ne sun li.'' we din aise the ki priyahari ka sara astitw subah ke wanamala ke sath ke char-panch ghanton men sama gaya tha. bad ka sara samay us kho jane ki bela ke lautane ke injatar men bitata. sade das ke karib wanamala ke mistar prayaः use lene kaimpas men awatarit ho jate. judaee men dil kachotata tha lekin majaboori thi, jo aksar aankhon ki takarahat men bayan hoti thin. ek dafa aisi hi bebasi men priyahari ne wanamala ko chheda tha ''lijiye, aapake we aa pahunche hai aapako lene.'' muskurati huee wanamala ne priyahari ki aankhon men jhanka aur boli - ''aaha, aap to yoon kah rahe hain jaise mera jana aapako bada achchha lag raha ho.'' priyahari ne kaha - ''main to chahata hoon ki tumhen hamesha -hamesha ke liye rok loon. kasha, ye pal thahar jayen.'' bebasi se kal ka wah niyat tukada unhen roj juda kar deta. bad ka sara samay priyahari ka man wanamala ki yad men tadapata tha aur raten bechain gujarane lagi thi. aurat aur mard ke bich ke rat ka romanchak khel bemaza lagata tha. use durust karate wanamala ki taswir priyahari apani nigahon men basaye rakha karata tha. yoon roj apane aap kawitayen usake andar banane lagi thin. ghar wanamala ki bhi majaboori tha aur priyahari ki bhi. isi prasang ki ek kawita priyahari se wanamala ne kisi ek din suni thi –

wiwah ke mantr shor karate hain shuru jo huaa tep band hi nahin hota chalata raha aaya din-mahine-sal sal-dar-sal rat ke andhere men bistar ke bich duharaye ja rahe mantr ke shor men ghusata hai ek chehara ghusata hi chala jata hai dila,dimaga, shiraon men aur thamata hai shor deta hai sukoon chehare par aaropit chehara pal bhar kawita ki lay laharati wanamala ko achanak jaise hosh aaya ho, usaki palaken priyahari ki aankhon men doobati bhi haya men jhuk chali thin. usaka chehara anajane upaj aayi lali se surkh ho chala tha. kuchh yoon jaise usaki chori pakad li gaee ho. dhiyeme swar men usane itana kaha ''chhiः ! aap aisa kyon likhate hai. mujhe laj aati hai. aap to kuchh bhi sochate rahate hain.'' priyahari janata tha ki dili tamannayen fantasi men bhidati hain aur tasalli pati hain, bhale hi we jhoothi ho. aisa wanamala ke sath bhi hai lekin madhyawargiy naitikata ka janana sankoch 'han' ko bhi 'na' men hi kahane majaboor huaa karata hai. aise hi ek din gunaguni dhoop men subah priyahari bahar khada tha. isharon se usane wanamala ko bhi apane pas bula liya. bich men koee nahin tha aur itaminan ka mood tha. baton ke daramyan priyahari ne poochha - ''wanamala, kya aisa nahin ho sakata ki shadiyan miyadi samajhaute ki shakl men hon. do-sala, chara, ya panch sal ? fir ham aajad hon ki doosara sathi chun sake aur sath rahen.'' wanamala lajaee. boli - ''aisa ho sakata hai kya ? kasha, aisa ho sakata.'' achanak jaise use kuchh yad aaya ho aankhon men muskurati wah bol padi - ''main samajh gaee. aap bade shararati hai.''

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prem kewal sharir ki kamana ka aaranbh hi hai
dharawahikon men dikhaye ja rahe ekstra mairital afeyar aaj ke samaj ka sach hain jo hamen kaee bar apane aasapas hi dekhate ko mil jata hai . aaj aise logon ki kami nahin hai jinaki patni ke sath aafis me bhi ek garlafrend hoti hai. -kasauti jindagi ki prerana urf shweta ne kaha/naee duniya 2/11/07 pej 07

subah-subah wanamala ko aata dekh apane sath kam karata dekha, usaki buddhimatta, soojh aur aatmiyata ka aabhas pakar priyahari ka chitt prayaः kalpana men usaki apani bibi ko wanamala ke samane la khada karata. usaki bibi khud to kabhi aath baje se pahale bistar chhodati n thi. khud wah to waisi thi hi lekin had yah thi ki bachchon tak ko sikhane, unhen jagane par wah priyahari se jhagada karati ki falatu subah-subah wah shor kyon macha raha hai. wanamala ki safa, mithi aur laharadar us aawaj ka priyahari murid tha jo usaki samajh men kisi gayika men huaa karati hai. priyahari usase kaha karata - ''tumase apani pyari, mithi aawaj men main kisi roj bang-sangit sunane ki gahari chah hai. kabhi sunao pliza.'' prashansa aur chahat ke aise pal kabhi wanamala ko spashtataः khushi se bhar dete the, wah chahak uthati thi aur kabhi aisa bhi hota tha ki wanamala ka mukh anyamanaskata se pathara sa jata tha aur aankhen aisi ho jati mano stabdh hokar shoony men dekh rahi hon. use shayad wishwas n hota tha ki priyahari ki we baten usi ke liye huaa karati thin. wanamala aur priyahari yoon apane paristhitik abhawon ko ek-doosare men poora hota anubhaw karate the. jo bat wanamala ke pati men honi chahiye thin, jo baten usaki pati ko karani chahiye thin we priyahari kar raha tha aur jo apekshayen priyahari apani patni men rakhata tha, unhen wah wanamala men poori hota dekh raha tha. ek-doosare ke liye wanamala aur priyahari ka sath pratipoorak banata ja raha tha. halanki aisi auraten bhi hoti hain jo chahat ke pahale hi sparsh se samanaweg se pighal jati hai lekin priyahari ne paya tha ki wanamala waisi n thi. wah un adhikansh madhyawargiy paramparik grhasthinon men thi jinamen naitikata ka bojh koot-kootakar bhara hota hai. janghaon ke bich ka wah bindu jahan antataः prem paryawasit hona chahata hai, unake liye naitikata ka charam kendr aur kasauti huaa karata hai. aurate janati hai purush ki nigah men wahi stri hone ka arth hai. isaliye samaj aur parampara ne inamen gahara suraksha bodh aur chalaki paida kar di hai ki we sharir ke prati behad sanchet rahati hain. unhen maloom hota hai ki sharir unhen wahin le jayega, jahan jane se unhen bachana hai. wanamala ko yah samajhana mushkil tha ki prem kewal sharir ki kamana ka aaranbh hi hai. sharir men ekagr hokar wisarjan se hi prem yani hrday aur sharir dwidharahit hokar us swarg tak pahunchate hain jo samaj swikrt bandhan men bandh dene se sharirik kridabhyas ka bemaja kam matr hokar rah jata hai. wanamala ne priyahari se kaha tha -''yah to mujhe ghar men hi bharapoor mil jata hai, usaki koee kami nahin hai. isaki mujhe jaroorat nahin hai.'' wanamala ka aksar bhabharaya chehara, chehare aur aankhon ki thakawata, udi huee rangat isaki pushti karate the ki wah mashin ki tarah rat men chalaee gaee hai, lekin fir ! fir wah kya tha jise wah pana chahati thi ? kya bina isake priyahari khud jiwit rah sakata hai ? wanamala ne kaha tha - ''suhag ki rat ko mainne aur mere mistar ne ek-doosare se wada kiya tha ki ham aapas men kuchh bhi chhipayenge nahin. jo bhi hai, wo ek-doosare ko bata denge aur aapas men bewafaee nahin karenge.'' priyahari ka khayal tha ki ek or chitt men basa yah gahara bojh aur doosari or abhaw ko bharane ki chahat hi wanamala ka dwandw tha jo use moodi aur skijofrenik bana raha tha. wanamala ke nirbadh sahachary aur pyar ki chahat men priyahari men diwanagi paida kar di thi. ek pal bhi - din ya rat kabhi, usaki yad ke bagair nahin gujarata tha. ek taraf priyahari ki chahat thi jo fail

kar wanamala men sama jana chahati thi, doosari taraf satark wanamala ka bhay tha jo use ain mauke par satark kar sikod deta tha. ek or unnat dand aur doosari or khulata darawaja achanak banda. badi musibat thi. priyahari par junoon sawar tha. usane nirnay liya ki apane dil ki bat use wanamala se kahani hi hai fir parinam chahe jo ho aur aisa usane kiya bhi. wanamala ke janmadin ki badhaee dete priyahari ne usaki aankhon men jhankate sidhe kah diya tha - ''wanamala aaee law yoo, aaee law yoo. aaee kain nat liw widaut yoo.'' wanamala aanandit thi. thode se sookhe fala,chakalet ka ek paika, kuchh tafiyan aur faunten pen ka ek seta, wagairah priyahari ne use bhent ki thi. us wakt priyahari ko yah nahin maloom tha ki upahar ke mani kya hote hain, upahar men aurat ko kya diya jana chahiye, upahar ke liye aurat premika ki kya apekshayen hoti hain, aur upahar ko aankane men aurat ke liye usaki maudrik kimat ka kya mahatw hota hai wagairah ? yah bad men kabhi dhire-dhire use samajh men aaya ki upahar ki nahin, balki usake pichhe chhipe maudrik mooly ki ahamiyat baj auraton ke liye jyada mahatw rakhati hai. khaira, us wakt wanamala ka man foola n sama raha tha usane kaha - ''aaha, main aaj kitani khush hoon. mere apane ghar men to mera janmadin kisi ko yad tak nahin rahata. aapane kaise yad kiya ?'' fir achanak usake aankhon men shararat ki ek chamak ubhari. wah boli - ''achchha, agar main yah bat apane mistar ko bataoon to ?'' priyahari ne bindas andaj men jawab diya - ''ab tumase koee bhed nahin, jise batana ho, bata do.'' wanamala hans rahi thi. kaha - ''ghabaraiye mata, main aisa karoongi nahin.'' wah kahati gaee - ''aaj ka din kitana achchha hai. aaj main bahut khush hoon.'' wanamala ka khushi ka yah izahar mano priyahari ke sahasapoorwak rakh diye gaye prem ke prastaw ki swikrti thi. wanamala aur priyahari ke bich ghar ke anubhaw bhi malal ke sath charcha men aaya karate the. wanamala kaha karati - ''priyahari, aap meri itani tarif karate hai lekin mere mistar to hamesha mujhamen, mere har kam men nuks nikalate rahate hain.

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aurat ka man padana shayad duniya ka sabase mushkil kam hai
" Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer.. the great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, ...is 'What does a woman want?" (Sigmund Freud)

aurat ka man padana shayad duniya ka sabase mushkil kam hai. aurat ka sankoch aur aadami ka bhay honi ko bhi anahoni bana deta hai. rakt buddhi se adhik bali hai aur adhik jnyani bhi kyon ki buddhi sochati aur shonit anubhaw karata hai. - dinakar ramadharisinh /urwashi

parikshaon men ek sath kam karane ke daur men priyahari aur wanamala ne ek-doosare ko pahachana. donon hi waijnyanik karyashaili aur susangat bauddhikata ke hami the. donon ek-doosare ki yuktiyon par poorwagrah-rahit dhang se ray rakhate the. donon hi shesh sare stanf se apane ko pratibha

aur karyashaili men juda aur behatar pate the. donon ka yah anubhaw tha ki kisi aur kamatar ke sath kam karane par samane wala apani kamatari ko chhipane unhen kat-fekana pasand karata tha. wanamala aur priyahari ke bich mano yah sanyog ek kism se abhawon ki do jindagiyon, pratibhaon, sanwedanaon ki ek pakki aur khush jodi se bana sanyog tha. donon ek-doosare ke behad prashansak the aur donon hi is ray par ek the ki unaki jodi ka koee wikalp ho hi nahin sakata. ise banaye rakhane ki chahat donon men hamesha bani rahi fir chahe paristhitiyan kitani bhi buri kyon n ho gaee hon. donon ke bich is muaamale men yah aapas ka wada tha ki kisi tisare ko we apane bich nahin aane denge. paristhiyan chahe jitani badal gaeen; dooriyan chahe is kadar bad gaeen ki ek-doosare ko ek jhalak dekh pana bhi mumakin n ho; bat karana tak mumakin n ho; lekin ise kewal wanamala aur priyahari donon hi samajh sakate hain (jabaki yah sach sare digar bhi mahasoos kar sakate hain) ki roohani chahat aur bharose ka wah rishta aaj bhi kayam hai. wanamala se judi aur usake sath ki chahat ne priyahari ko usaka diwana bana diya tha. wanamala ise achchhi tarah janati aur mahasoos karati thi bhale hi madhyawargiy mahila ka prashikshit naitik sanyam aur bal-bachchon ki jimmedari chahe jitani bhi door tak bachaw ke usake dhal ban jate hon. wanamala ke nam priyahari ki ibaraten, roj likhi jati kawitayen aur nazmen - kagajon men kaid sab ka sab -, aalamari ke ek kone men salike se rakha rahata. pariksha ki wyawastataon men donon ke bich ki betab mohabbat badha ban rahi hai yah wanamala priyahari se jyada samajhati thi. isiliye priyahari ke samane aur kam ke bich wah un sabase se gujarana aksar talati thi. yah bat aur thi ki priyahari ne wanamala ko jahira taur par bata diya tha ki un kagajon men kya hai, we kahan rakhe hai aur kyon rakhe hai. kagajon men likha lagabhag sara yoon bhi roo-b-ru batachit aur aankhon se donon ke bich ujagar tha. bad men wanamala ne un kagajon par kitani, kab aur kaise najar dali isaki parawah priyahari n karata tha. pariksha ke dauran kayam huee is mohabbat ka daur parikshaon ke gujarane ke bad bhi lanbe chalata raha. us ek din subah-subah priyahari aur wanamala donon hi wahan akele the. khamoshi men jine wali wanamala us din bhi khamosh thi. aalamari band kar kamal ke loch ke sath gardan par tike chand ki najaren priyahari ki najaron se takaraeen. ''ik khalish dil men rahi aaee jo ta-umr rahi. dekh loon aankh bhar tumako ye tamanna hi rahi.'' -wanamala ki aankhon men chhipe dard aur pashopesh men jhankate huye priyahari ne aage kaha - ''wanamala, tumhara aadami bahut bhagyashali hai jo use tumhara sath mila hai. tum beshakimati ho. kasha, usaki jagah main tumhare sath hota.'' lajja se lal huye fool gaye galon aur palakon ke koron se niharati wanamala ne jawab diya ''main badakismat hoon. aap to mujhase itana pyar karate hai, mere liye yah kahate hai lekin aapako maloom hai ki mere mistar mere liye kya kahate hain ? wah to mujhe kali-kalooti aur bekar ki aurat kahate hamesha kosate aur buraiyan hi dhoondhate rahate hai. kahate hai ki mujhe ek se ek sanbandh mil rahe the, sundar ladakiyan mil jatin, lekin n jane kahan se tum aa gaeen.'' fir kisi roj priyahari aur wanamala sath baithe aise hi mahaul men mashagool the ki achanak priyahari wanamala se poochh baitha -''ye...i wanamala, mujhe ek hi tarika dikhata hai tumhare pas hamesha bana rahane ka. batao wah kaun si yukti hai jisase main tumhare ghar nirbadh ja sakoon. ki main tumhare mistar ka sahaj mitr ban sakoon taki tumhen dekhana, tumase milana dushkar n ho.'' wanamala ka jawab tha - ''aap nahin janate. we bade wichitr swabhaw ke hai. unhen dost banana bahut kathin hai. balki unhen aapaki aisi koshish agar pata lag gaee to we mujhe bhi mar dalegen aur aapako bhi.'' pyar-mohabbat to apani jagah par the lekin wanamala ko yah bhay hamesha sataya karata tha ki ye chijen aam ho gaeen aur ghar tak fail gaee to wah mari jayegi. usaki diwanagi men khoya priyahari use samajhaya karata ki un donon ka milana, yah aakarshan aakasmik nahin hai. wah kahata - ''aaj jo hai, wah akaran nahin hai. rakt ka yah aakarshan poorwajanmon ka hai jisane hamen milaya hai aur jo rakt ke ek hone tak kayam rahega. fir isamen chahe kitane hi janm kyon n lag jayen.''

jo tha, wah priyahari ki panchawin indriy kah rahi thi aur jise gaharaee se wah mahasoos karata tha. wah usake dil ki sachchi aawaj thi. wanamala isaka ahasas kar kanp gaee. wah boli - ''mujhe yah sunakar n jane kyon ghabarahat ho rahi hai. aisa nahin hona chahiye. mujhe dar lag raha hai.'' aurat ka man padana shayad duniya ka sabase mushkil kam hai. wanamala priyahari ki baten suna karati aur aksar ganbhira, anyamanaska, aur pashopesh men padi dikhaee padati. tab usaki ganbhirata, fool uthe gal aur milati-bachati aankhon ki bhasha men kya likha hota tha yah kahana mushkil tha. priyahari darata tha ki kahin wanamala usase naraz n ho jaye. wah narajagi ke ewaj men kewal wanamala ka rahasyamay maun dekha karata tha. pahal use hi karani padati ek roj aisi hi baton ke daramyan wanamala sooji huee aankhon aur foole galon ke sath baithi thi. shayad idhar ke mithas ke sath ghar ki kadawahat ka dwandw aur kinkartawyata ka pashopesh use wifal karata tha. priyahari poochh raha tha -''he...i, wanamala, tumhare liye n jane kitana-kitana likha hai. dekhoge nahin ? tumase kuchh kahana hai, sunogi nahin ?'' udas bhige swar men wanamala ne bahut dhime se kaha - ''jo bhi kahana hai, kahiye aur jo karana ho kijiye n ! poochhate kyon hai ?'' priyahari ne wanamala ko anamana aur udas pa sankoch men kah diya - ''rahane do.'' ab priyahari ko lagata hai ki us din wanamala ko padane men usase galati ho gaee. aurat kahati kuchh nahin, aap se karane ki ummid rakhati hai. adhik pratiksha shayad man ko bojhil bana deti hai. samarpan aur swikar ki mudra men baithi shyama ko us ek khas pal men pichhe se priyahari ki banhen gher letin aur usake sooje aatur chehare ko hatheliyon men tham usake hothon par priyahari ke hoth ja thaharate to shayad wanamala ka wikal man swikar leta. aurat ka sankoch aur aadami ka bhay honi ko bhi anahoni bana deta hai. priyahari itana hi kayar tha. wanamala ke us aamantran ko padane men priyahari ka chitt us din bhool kar gaya tha ki - ''jo bhi karana ho, kijiye na. poochhate kya hain ?''

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aakhir maine aisa kiya kya hain jo tum mujhe itani badi saja dena chahate ho. mujhe kaid men rakhakar mukti pa lena kya tumhen achchha lagega ? : wanamala

parikshayen chal rahi thin. subah-subah priyahari aur wanamala ek doosare ki pratikshaon ko samapt karate jab milate to nigahon ke takaraw ke sath hi donon ke man khil uthate the. priyahari aur wanamala itane nikat aa chuke the ki ab pratiksha aur wilamb unaki sthaee aadat men shumar ho chale the. ise wanamala bhi achchhi tarah samajhati aur mahasoos karati thi. wyakti ki aur samaj ki aakankshaon ke bicha, aksar tin aur chhah ka aankada hota hai. khas taur par mudda jab stri aur purush ke bich sanbandhon ka ho wanamala ghar ki jhanjhaton aur apane shakki pati se yoon hi pareshan thi. aage badane ka khatara mol lene se wah bachana chahati thi. wanamala ke janmadin ko donon ne ek doosare ke prem-diwas ki tarah manakar khushi to hasil kar li thi, lekin wanamala ki udasin hichak aur doori banaye rakhane ki peshakash ne priyahari ko dukhi bhi kar diya tha. udasi bhare bhawishy aur wanamala se doori ki kalpana se mayoos priyahari ne ek din wanamala ke samane is bat ka prastaw rakha ki usaka man ab parikshaon se alag ho jane ka hai taki wyarth hi wah use pareshan n kar sake. aakhir usi ke karan to wanamala ka chitt wichalit hota priyahari ke liye narazagi ban jata hai.

parikshaon ke ab kuchh hi din shesh rah gaye the. wanamala ne priyahari ki aankhon men jhanka aur kaha-'' itane din sath gujarane ke bad agar aap mujhase alag hone kam chhod denge tab fir mere bhi yahan rahane ka matalab kya hai ? aap ke bina main bhi parikshaon ka kam nahin karoongi.'' wanamala ke chitt ko padane men priyahari kabhi bhi saksham n ho paya, lekin agar we shabd wanamala ke hrday se nikale the to we hi usake liye wanamala par eeman ko aur majaboot kar jate the. us ek subah priyahari ne wanamala se kaha – ''wanamala, aisa lagata hain ki is jiwan men tumhen pa sakane ka bhagy mera nahin hain. mujhe kuchh kahana hai. meri prarthana swikar karogi ?” wanamala ke poochhane par priyahari ne bhari man aur bhawuk swar men usase kaha - ''main tumhare bagair jinda nahin rahana chahata. isase achchha to yah hoga ki main ki tumako khud mujhe apane hathon thoda sa zahar de do. main chahata hoon ki tumhari god men sir rakhe tumhare us khoobasoorat chehare par aankhen tikaye main apani jan de doon, jinhen hamesha ke liye kaid rakhane we mari jati rahi hain.'' priyahari ka udas man wanamala ke andar bhi sankramit ho chala tha. usane kaha - '' nahin, aisa main kabhi nahin kar sakati. aakhir maine aisa kiya kya hai, jo tum mujhe itani badi saja dena chahate ho. mujhe kaid men rakhakar mukti pa lena kya tumhen achchha lagega ? '' wanamala apane ko sanbhal nahin pa rahi thi. usaki aankhen bhig chali thin. priyahari ke samane se uthakar wah turant daftar ke us soone kamare men ja baithi thi, jo subah-subah khali pada tha. kewal ek booda babu abhi-abhi wahan pahuncha tha. use is bat ki kataee parawah n thi ki wahan doosare kya kar rahen hain aur kya batiya rahe hain, isaki or dhyan de. wanamala ke pichhe-pichhe priyahari bhi wahan ja baitha tha. premi ke jan dene ki bat priya ko bhawatirek se bharati bhi andarandar khushi se bhar jati hai. usaki apani hi nigah men khud ki kimat bad jati hai. is wakt wanamala apane toote huye premi par taras khati apane ko us par nyauchhawar kar dene ki mudra men thi. idhar pashopesh ki halat men wichalit wanamala ki wasanaon ko aur uttejit karata priyahari use manaye ja raha tha -''yei wanamala, man jao n pliza. wah meri jindagi ka sabase sukhad kshan hoga aur tumhari samasya bhi usase hal ho jayegi '' -priyahari dhime swaron men wanamala ke hrday men budabuda raha tha. roondhe huye gale aur tootati aawaj men wanamala jawab de rahin thi -''aaha..,isase achchha to yah hota ki main hi mar jati. aakhir mai yahan aaee hi kyon ? isase to achchha yah hoga ki main tabadale men jahan se aaee hoon , wapas fir wahin laut jaoon .'' boodha babu mundi jhukaye bagair dhyan diye hi yah dekhata sunata maje le raha tha. wah dekh raha tha ki kaise ghanaghor udasi ke badalon aur asahay priyahari aur wanamala ki aankhen ek doosare men doobi pad rahi hain. bhawana ka jwar donon ko bahaye le ja raha tha. babu ki aankhon se ojhal hoti wanamala bhagati staf-room ke ek kone men chipaki aankhon ki bhig chali palakon ko hatheliyon se pochhati sisak rahi thi. wanamala ne pichhe aa khade priyahari ki hatheliyon ka komal sparsh apane balon aur galon par mahasoos kiya. usaki palatati nigahen priyahari ki un aankhon se bindh gaee thin jo badalon ki nami se bojhil thin. priyahari ki hatheli men wanamala ke ek hath ki anguliyan ulajhi padi ja rahi thin. oopar kandhe par banh ko kasata doosara hath aur niche pair par angoothe se khelata priyahari ka angootha wanamala ko romanchak tharatharahat se bharata jaduee aakarsh n se kanpati kaya ko haule-haule priyahari ki kaya ke sparsh se sahalata itane karib le chala tha ki madakata ki behoshi men ab priyahari ki chhatiyon se takarati wanamala ki chhatiyan chipaki pad rahi thin. ek-dooje ki deh ko lilati aankhon ki sammohakata men chhatiyon ki chikhati hueen dhadakanen ek-dooje ko pighalati aapas men kab gunth kar sari dooriyan mita dalane ki hod men khelane lagi thin isaka hosh ab n priyahari ko raha tha, aur n wanamala ko. sansen tez thin, dhadakanen chikh rahi thin par aawajen itani manda, jaise bahut door kahin aa rahi hon. wanamala ke adharon par laharate priyahari ke oth mantrawat budabuda rahe the -'' man lo. meri pyari wanamala, meri bat man lo pliza.''

waisi hi mantramugdhata men kisi any lok se wanamala ke kanpate adhar behoshi men jawab de rahe the - ''no pliza, no . mujhe chhod do pliza.'' aakarshan aise durniwar aaweg se donon ke rakt me prawahit ho raha tha ki unake adharon par uchcharit shabd apana nihitarth chhod donon premiyon ki kayaon men khelate hathapoorwak awahelana par utar aaye the. swamiyon ki awahelana karate manane aur chhodane ki parasparik manuharon ke bich otha, deha, chhatiyan, hath aur pair aur bhi adhik betabi se lipatate dohare huye pad rahe the. inamen priyahari aur wanamala ka wah doosara man chhipa tha, jo wiwashata se aashankit chitt ki asthirata se bhayabhit is wakt hath aaye palon ko hi sanpoornata men bhog apani chirasanchit pyas ko abhi hi ekabaragi bujha lene machala ja raha tha. chetana is wakt kewal deh ki poron aur aaturata se paraspar gunthe othon men simat aaee thi . priyahari aur wanamala sara kuchh chhod jaise kisi any lok men wicharan kar rahe the. achanak khalal pada. bahar kuchh logon ke batiyate chale aane ki aahat thi. '' chhod dijiye, koee aa raha hai '' - wanamala budabudaee . donon ne ek-dooje ki jalati aankhon aur lali se chamakate cheharon ko pyar se nihara tha. ek bar fir wanamala ke pyare mukhade ko hatheliyon men tham priyahari ne usake adharon ko gaharaee se jhinjhoda aur fir galon par widaee ka komal chunban tankata use alag kiya. apane digar sathiyon ke prawesh ke wakt we ek-doosare se door kursiyon ke trikon men apani pustakon men gade yoon dekhe gaye, jaise sarokaron se rahit do ajanabi ik-doosare se bekhabar do bhinn lokon men baithe hon. priyahari ne anubhaw kar liya tha ki aage musibaton aur badhaon se bhara andhera rasta hi hai. wah samajh chuka tha ki niyati unaka sath dene nahi ja rahi hai. is ghatana se wanamala behad wichalit aur isiliye satark rahane lagi thi. janaboojh kar usane is tarah ka wyawahar shuru kar diya tha, jisase yah prakat ho ki wah ab priyahari ko door rakhana aur usase door jana chahati hai. idhar priyahari tha ki khuleaam wanamala par pyar lutane aamada tha. wah samajh raha tha ki wanamala ke andar wah nahin hai, jo bahar usamen dikhaee pad raha hain. door jane ke bajaye poori taur par samarpit kiye wah apane ko gaharaee se wanamala men dubaye ja raha tha. tab bhi kabhi-kabhi usaka dhiraj toot jata tha aur man bikhar jata tha. wah pashopesh men pad jata ki jise wah abhinay samajh raha hai kahin wah wanamala ka asali chehara hi to nahin hain. wah aaswast nahin ho pata tha ki wanamala bhi kya use utani hi gaharaee se chahati hai, jitana wah wanamala ko chahata hai. wanamala sara kuchh bahut achchhi tarah mahasoos karati thi lekin bhawishy se is kadar bhayabhit thi ki is mudde par bat karane ka mauka jab bhi aata, wah tal jati thi. kabhi-kabhi to wah karkash bhi ho uthati thi. tab kahati - ''chhodiye n in baton ko. kya ham logon ke pas us ek ke alawa koee aur rah nahin jisapar le chalane ke liye aap bar-bar mere pichhe pade rahate hain ?'' - ya fir yah ki -''priyahari yatharth ki duniya men aao pliza. jo tum chahate ho wah sanbhaw nahin hain. ya fir yah ki - maine to us tarah se kabhi socha hi nahin, jaisa aap apani kalpana aur aagrahon men sochate rahe hain. bataiye main aapake sath kya karoon? ab is mamale men bat karana mujhe pasand nahin hain. aap kawi hain aur apani kalpana men swatantr hain ,.wagairaha.''

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''a.......re...... main aapako kaise samajhaoon? aap samajhate kyon nahin?''
prem ki tarang aur unaka asar bhale hi stri aur purush ke hrday men saman aaweg se hi chhipa hota hai. lekin jahan tak paristhitiyon ka sanbandh hain, stri ki paristhitiyan jatilatar hoti hain. isiliye chahati huee bhi stri purush ke fande se bachana chahati hai. wanamala isaka apawad n thi. use apane ghar aur gharawale ki kalpana se bada bhay hota tha. jab-jab bhi wanamala ke itar sanbandhon par shak ko lekar usaka aadami usapar kahar barapa karata tha, tab-tab usaka gussa aur nafarat usi aaweg se priyahari par toot padate the. wanamala ke wyawahar se aahat priyahari apane bhatakaw ko chhipaye gahari udasi men khud ko dubaye rahane ka aadi ho chala tha. bar-bar wah dayaniy swaron men wanamala se kahata -''aaha, wanamala wah meri khud ki bhool thi. maine kabhi yah kalpana tak nahin ki thi tum itani kroor aur nishthur ho sakati ho. kash main jan pata ki tumhare hrday men mere prem ke liye gahari nafarat ke alawa aur kuchh bhi nahin .'' priyahari is bat ko lekar wanamala ke pichhe pada rahata ki wah ek bar saf-saf kah de ki use priyahari se nafarat hai taki wah nishchint ho jaye aur wanamala se sachamuch koee sanbandh n rakhen . yah bhi ki ek bar yah agar nishchint ho jaye to wah apane durbhagy ko dhota khud ko wanamala se door rakhega. lekin nahin, waisa kabhi n ho pata. priyahari ka aagrah wanamala har bar badi safaee se tal jati. wah kahati-''a.......re...... main aapako kaise samajhaun ? aap samajhate kyon nahin? mere kahane ka wo matalab nahin tha. sach kewal itana hai ki n main aap se pyar kar sakati hoon, aur n aap se nafarat kar sakati hoon.'' pashopesh ko aur badate anishchay men dhakelate wanamala ke aise shabd priyahari ko udasinata ke akelepan men dhakelate wanamala se door kar jate the. akela wah andhere men ghutata hota. usane wanamala se bat karane se parahej karana shurookar diya. jab wah samane hoti, tab wanamala ki nigahon se khud ko bachata shoony men kahin aur dekhata hota. yah ajib bat thi ki aise maukon par priyahari ke hrday men basi udasinata fauran wanamala ki aankhon andar bhi ja baithati thi. jab bhi mauka hota wah aisi halat men priyahari ko apani safaee khud deti najar aati -'' ufa.... oha... priyahari. aakhir mainne aapase aisa kya kah diya ki aap mujhase naraj ho gaye . ya kabhi-kabhi yah ki ''un sab baton ko bhool jaiye n pliza. aaः p un baton ko apane dimag men bilakul n rakhen . wah kahati aap to chhoti-chhoti baton ka bura man jate hain.'' kabhi wah priyahari ko manati apani kamajoriyan ujakar karati kahati - ''mujhe jab gussa aata hain tab bhagawan jane kya ho jata hai. apane gusse par main kabu kar nahin pati aur tab mujhe hosh nahin rahata ki main kya-kya kahe ja rahi hoon. jo bhi muh men aata hain mai bol jati hoon. aap meri baton ka bura n mana kijiye ....chizon ko samajha kijiye n pliza.'' priyahari ki udasinata aur dimagi bechaini ko in sab se rahat to milati nahin thi balki ab wah 'han' aur 'nahin' ke bich pashopesh ki halat men gamazada rahane ka aadi ho chala tha. aise maukon par wah wismit ho apane aap se poochhata -ki aakhir yah rahasyamayi hai kaun ? un donon ke bich yah kaisa sanbandh hain ? wanamala waisa wyawahar kyon karati hain ? apani priya ke cheharon men se kis par wah yakin kare -is ya us . jo tha, use niyati ne hi shayadawaisa rach rakha tha. wah sochata ki donon ke bich jo halat hain we waise hi anirnay ke kyon rahen aate hain. wah soch kar ki shayadaaise halaton se use tab tak gujarana hoga jab tak wanamala ko chitt men basaye aur usase sanbandho ko le kar basi paheliyon aur sawalon se bhare man ke sath bechain wah is duniya se doosari duniya men nahin chala jata. usake khayal men aata ki mrtyu ke samay waisi duniya aur kasht bhari zindagi ko samete kisi ki kya halat ho sakati hain ise kewal we hi samajh payenge jo aisi durghatanaon se gujare hon. kash , wanamala bhi unamen hoti. priyahari lagatar gahare awasad aur wichalan se pareshan tha. rahat pane usane

garmiyon men yatra par chale jane aur dhyan ki paddhati ka sahara liya . aise hi wah deharadoon aur ऋshikesh men samay bita kar lauta tha. dhyan ki ot men wanamala ki or se apane chitt ko talane ki koshishen ab wah kiya karata tha. wanamala samane bhi hoti to priyahari use anadekha karata tatasth raha aata. wanamala priyahari ki is mudra par lagatar gaur karati aaee thi. ek din jab priyahari wanamala ko anadekha karata yoon hi tatasthata ki rahat men tha, usake chitt ko padati samane baithi wanamala muskura uthi. ek nigah usane priyahari par dali aur jaise usase nahin balki hawa se baten kar rahi ho usane maja lete yah tippani uchhal di ''-kya bat hai ki jab se hamare priyahari ji ऋshikesh se laute hain, unhone kisi se bat karana to kya kisi ki taraf dekhana bhi chhod diya hai ?'' wah kah rahi thi-'' ab to aisa lagata hain ki ye sanyasi ho gaye hai, ab kisi se kyon baten karegen ?'' kewal kuchh mahila-mitr jo wanamala ke liye hani-rahit thin, usake agal-bagal baithi thin. wanamala isaka khayal rakhati thi ki priyahari se jab yoon chuhal kar rahi ho tab wahan kewal usaki aisi hani-rahit sahakarmi maujood hon, jo usake apane premi se sanbandhon ke mamale men dilachaspi n rakhati hon. ya fir wah aisa mauka dhoondati jab wah aur priyahari akele sath maujood hon. wanamala ko priyahari itana chahata tha ki usaki chhoti se chhoti chuhal priyahari ko wichalit aur udas kar jati thi. parikshayen khatm hone ko aa rahi thin. priyahari ne wanamala se bat karane, usaki or dekhane se parahej karana shurookar diya tha. use is bat ka malal tha ki wanamala kewal use chhedati hi hain usase pyar nahin karati. usaka man is shikayat se bhara tha ki usaki apani pareshaniyon se wanamala koee sarokar nahin rakhati. yoon hi do char roj guzar gaye. apane prati apane udas premi ke badalate mood aur upeksha bhare rawaiye ko dekhati khud bhi bechain wanamala ne ek roj priyahari se baten shurookarane ki pahal ki - ''priyahari, mera ek chhota sa kam hain aap kar degen kya pliza...........'' wanamala ko pighalata jan priyahari man se bhar utha tha. sir jhukaye wah yoon apana kam karata raha, jaise wanamala wahan maujood hi n ho. roothe huye priyahari ko man se bhara pakar chatur wanamala muskuraee. use manana aata tha. wah priyahari se mukhatib ho fir boli - ''ye..ee priyahari.., aap mujhe sun nahin rahe hain kya ? main aap hi se bat kar rahi hoon.'' prakat men wanamala ko anadekha kiye bhi, lekin udasi men utsukata se dhadakate huye dil se priyahari ne jawab diya - ''kaho, kya kahana hai.'' ''mujhe apane kisi parichit ke liye ek pustak ki zaroorat hai''- apani bat saf karate huye aage wah boli-'' mera matalab hai ki we hamaren pariwarik danktar hain. aap apane sh har men talash kar mere liye wah pustak le aayenge kya.'' roopayon ke kuchh not dabaye wanamala ki hatheli priyahari tak badi huee thi. '' aur bhi log to hain unase kah do le aayege. chitrakar chhaila bhi to tumhara bahut karibi hain. tum usase kyon nahin kahatin '' -priyahari ne jawab diya, wanamala boli - ''nahin, main aap hi se yah kam karana chahati hoon, aap agar nahin karenge, to main kisi aur se bhi nahin kahoongi .'' priyahari ne wanamala ki aankhon men jhakate us alikhit sandesh ko padana chaha jo un aankhon men chhipa tha . wahan shikayat bhi thi aur roothe huye ke liye dilasa bhi thi . likha tha ki ''tum kitane nadan ho priyahari. mere man ki bhasha tum kyon nahin samajhate ? tum to halke-fulke mazak ko bhi dil men bitha lete ho. mere shabdon par kyon chale jate ho. nire pagal ho. tum yah bhi nahin samajhate ki shabdon se pare yah wanamala to tumhare sath hai.'' wanamala ki aankhon ne priyahari ko samarpan ke liye majaboor kar diya tha. un aankhon ke jadu se wah bach nahin paya.

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''achchha, aap yah bataiye ki ham dono men se aap kisako jyada chahate hain ?'' : manjoosha
prem ka sankramana, prem ke rog ko failata hai. samoocha mahaul hi usase sankramit ho jata hai. yah badi wichitr bat hai ki premiyon ke ird-gird baithe we log jo jahira taur par aise sanbandhon ki aalochana karate hain khud apane aap ko wiparit ling ke us stri ya purush ki or adhikadhik aakarshit hota pate hai jisaki we aalochana kar rahe hote hain. prem aniwaryataः eershya ko janm deta hai. premi-jan ek doosare se jal uthate ha, jab we pate hain ki koee tisara un donon ke bich sendh marane ki koshish kar raha hai. aisi halat men prabhawit premi bhayanak eershya se bhara asahishnu ho uthata hain. doosari taraf pas baithe log jaise aise hi maukon ki talash men huaa karate hain. yah mauka bich men ghusane aur zaroorat ke mutabit anaban men pade dikhaee de rahe premi-yugal se jaroorat ke mutabit kisi ek premi ko chhin lene ka mufid awasar hota hai. tamashabinon ko yah pata hota hai ki premi-yugal ke gahare prem-sanbandhon ke bawajood aise hi maukon par kisi ek premi ko toda ja sakata hain. priyahari ne anek bar wanamala ko sawadhan kiya tha ki wah satark raha kare aur apane gusse ka izahar us tarah sabake samane kiya n kare jisase auron ke dimag men sh k paida ho, lekin wanamala thi ki samajhati hi n thi. priyahari ki salah ko darakinar karati wah kahati - ''aap bekar pareshan hote hain. koee is taraf dhyan nahin deta aur n kuchh waisa samajhata jaisa aap sochate hain.'' parikshaon ke dauran wah pahala awasar tha jab wanamala aur priyahari ko pas aata dekh manjoosha bich men aa padi thi. afasar aur sahayak ki tarah priyahari aur wanamala ka pas-pas baithana aur ek doosare se batiyana aam bat thi. us din manjoosha ne jab donon ko is tarah ghulata huaa paya tha tab dostana aawaj men lekin wismay se bhari aankhon ke sath wah wanamala par chikh padi thi ''hay re ,mai diyar wanamala ! tum priyahari ji ke bagal men hi kaise baith gaee ho ? chalo utho wahan se aur idhar doosari or yahan mere pas aakar baitho. tum janati nahin kya ki we tumase kitane jyada warishth aur bade hain. yah wahi manjoosha thi, jise kabhi yooniwarsiti men kam ke dauran usake sath baitha ek dabang pandit mitr ne sh rarat se priyahari par chhinta kasa tha - ''yara, tumase badi lagi huee dikh rahi hai. kaun hai yah ramani, jo bahut hans-hans kar tumase chuhal karati maja le rahi hai ? kya bat hai, wah ! gajab ki khoobasoorat hai yar tumhari yah chaheti. safed sadi men lipati yoon dikhaee pad rahi hain jaise sakshat saraswati hai, jo tumhe chhed rahi hai. achchha pataya hai tumane ise. kismat wale ho tuma.'' panditaji ki khyati shikshit-samaj men munhafat aur jhagadalu wyaktitw ki rahi aaee thi lekin jahan tak priyahari ka taaalluk tha, panditaji se usake bahut achchhe sanbandh the. yah shastriji ek widwan ki tarah priyahari ko manate aur pesh aate the. manjoosha ka tabadala ab kahin aur ho chala hai. khubasoorat ramaniy chaukor suchikkan chehara, shararat bhari aankhen aur gulabi hotho men samaye tarase huye khoobasoorat danton ki pankti. sab milakar rangin aakarshak wyaktitw ki dhani manjoosha. n to use dubali kaha ja sakata tha aur n to moti deh ki. banawat yoon thos aur tarasi huee thi ki use paranparagat bharatiy samaj ki khoobasoorat aam stri ki chhabi men dekha ja sakata tha. priyahari se manjoosha ke sanbandh bilakul khule aur tanaw rahit the. manjoosha koee bat apane dil men chhipakar nahin rakh sakati thi. aisi khuli aur wachal thi ki jo bhi bat usake dimag men aati, bina kisi mulamme ke apani theth juban men wah belihaj bol jati thi. yahi manjoosha bahut dilachaspi ke sath priyahari aur wanamala ke sanbandhon par gaur kiye ja rahi thi. priyahari ko un dinon ki wah ghatana kabhi nahin bhooli jab we us jagah sath-sath kam kar rahe the . wah ek khushanuma subah thi. priyahari akela staf-rum men kinare ki khidaki ke pas

baitha tha, jab usane dekha ki manjoosha apani doosari sahachari suchita ko sath liye prawesh kar rahi hain. usake thik wiparit kone par tebal se lagi we donon baith gaee thin. kuchh der khamoshi bani rahi. priyahari ne tab paya tha ki ek doosare ki aankhon men jhankati donon ramaniyan jaise badi ganbhirata se pashopes ko hatakar kisi nirnay par pahunchane ke liye maun sanwad men wyast thin. fir achanak priyahari ko jaise kisi ganbhir aawaj ne sanbodhit kiya tha. yah manjoosha thi, jo usase poochh rahi thi ''priyahari sara, bahut wyast hain kya ? agar aap bura n manen to aapase ek bat poochhani thi.'' ''isamen kya hai. tumhen jo poochhana ho behichak poochh sakati ho ''-prasann man priyahari ne jawab diya. '' nahin, pahale mujhase wada kijiye ki aap talenge nahin aur eemanadari se sach-sach jawab dengen '' ab priyahari ke chaunkane ki bari thi. aakhir aisi kya bat ho sakati thi jisase chanchala manjoosha aaj itani ganbhir huee pad rahi hai. manjoosha to itani bindas thi ki behichak jo chahe priyahari se kah diya karati thi. usaka mijaj hansamukh tha, jisase chalate firate priyahari ko satane ki usaki aadat ho chali thi. aakhir naee bat kya ho sakati thi ? ''aakhir tum usake liye itani bhoomika kyon rach rahi ho. jo poochhana hai poochh lo.....''priyahari ne kaha. '' nahin, aapaka koee bharosa nahin. pahale aap wada kijiye ki aap sach-sach jawab denge. aap talengen nahin ya koee bahana nahin banayengen ''- manjoosha ne priyahari ki aankhon men jhankate hathapoorwak kaha. manjoosha ki ganbhirata se ab priyahari bhi ghir aaya tha. usane socha ki aakhir manjoosha apani gambhirata ke prati aaj itani aagrahashil kyon hai ? mamala kya ho sakata hai ? priyahari ki samajh se wah sab pare tha. fir bhi badi laparawahi se usane jawab diya – '' oke aai pramis . ab bata bhi jao ki bat kya hai ?'' manjoosha kuchh sankoch men thi. usake chehare par sahami huee lalima thahar gaee thi. aawaz bhari ho chali thi. usane poochha - '' achchha, aap yah bataiye ki ham dono men se aap kisako jyada chahate hain ?'' priyahari is tarah ke prashn ke liye taiyar n tha. daraasal is bare men kabhi usane socha bhi n tha. hichakate huye usane jawab diya -''isamen kya bat hai ?'' main tum dono ko chahata hoon . mere sath tum ek sathi ke roop men bahut lanbe samay se pas rahi ho aur jahan tak inaki bat hai, ye meri patni ki sasural ki jagah se hain aur isaliye swabhawik roop se mujhase judi hain. '' is dauran sucharita dil aur aankhon ko thame badi jijnyasa se priyahari ko dekh rahi thi. manjoosha muskuraee aur chanchalaaankhonse priyahari ko dekhati huee boli -''priyahari aap ab chalaki kar rahe hain. main janati thi ki aap aisa hi jawab degen. '' usane kaha - '' aap bhool gaye hain ki aapane hamase sach bolane ka wada kiya hai. aapako saf-saf aur bina kisi hichak ke yah batana hai ki ham dono men se ek kauna, dono nahin. do-do nahin chalengi.'' manjoosha ne priyahari ko pashopesh men dal diya tha. us bare men aakhir wah kya kah sakata tha ? usane to is par kabhi socha hi n tha. usaki nigah men to wanamala ke siwa wahan koee aur tha hi nahin. usane jawab diya - '' kyon ? jo mujhe laga wah maine kah diya. daraasal is bare men sochane ka kabhi mauka hi n mila. '' '' aap jhooth bol rahe hain. dekhiye, ye bat thik nahin hai aane wachan diya hai aur pichhe hat rahe hain. aapako abhi isi wakt nirnay karana hai aur batana hai ki kaun ? ham donon men se kisaka sath aapako jyada pasand hoga -sucharita ka ya mera ? ek sath aap ham donon ko nahin rakh sakate. aapako hamamen se kewal ek ko chunana hai. ab bataiye yah ya main ?'' priyahari ke munh se achanak nikal pada - '' tum .'' wah nahin janata tha ki aisi kaun si bat thi jisane use is jawab ke liye prerit kiya. wah priyahari ke sath manjoosha ka sahachary aur khula sanbandh tha, ya manjoosha ki lubhane wali supusht doodhiya deh ko bhogane ka rujhan ?us din ke apane nirnay par priyahari ko hamesha ulajhan rahi aaee. achanak usake mukh se thik waisa kyon nikala ? yoon pratit hota hai, jaise us din manjoosha aur sucharita ke bich

koee gopaniy shart rahi aaee hogi. ab tak dono ramaniyan utsukata poorwak pratiksha men thin, lekin jawab milate hi manjoosha ki aankhon men khushi ki chamak lahara uthi thi. manjoosha ka chehara prasannata se ab chamak utha tha. jaise wah jit gaee ho, lagabhag uchhalati huee usane sucharita ke chehare par nigah dalate ghoshit kiya -'' dekha, maine tumase kaha tha na. mai janati thi priyahari mujhe hi pasand karenge.'' sucharita ka chehara achanak dhoomil ho utha tha. usaki aankhen badara gaee thin. bagair kuchh kahe usane aankhon men alikhit pida ke sath priyahari ki aankhon men jhanka. un aankhon ka samana karane ka sahas priyahari men n tha. wah gahare sankoch men pad gaya tha. ab bhi jab kabhi priyahari ka samana yahan-wahan kahi achanak sucharita se hota hai tab atit ke us kshan ki smrtiyan diwar ban donon ke bich is tarah aa padati hai ki donon ke samane dharmasankat ho aata hai. aise maukon par priyahari apane aapako is bat ke liye sharminda aur aparadhi mahasoos karata hai ki us din usane sucharita ki aakankshaon ko apane chunaw se wanchit kyon kar diya ? sucharita ki aankhon men hamesha ke liye shikayat wah kyon chhod gaya tha ?

_______________________________________________________________ usaki mudra us wakt yoon ho gayi thi jaise usane apani kalpana men wanamala ki jagah khud apane ko priyahari ke sath bistar men bhogarat paya ho.
shuru se hi priyahari ke man men yah shanka thi ki usaki priya wanamala ki aadat apane niji gopaniy sanbandhon ko apani kuchh mahila sahakarmiyon se ujagar karane ki hai. kahana mushkil tha ki wah waisa kyon karati thi. sanbhawataः waisa karane ke pichhe usame chhipa stri ka wah swabhaw kam kar raha hota tha jo apayash ke bhay se purush-samaj men to khule aakash men udane ki apani mahatwakankshaon ko chhipaye rakhata hai kintu stri-samooh ke bich apani aakarshan-kshamata aur aakankshaon ka pradarshan karata sanginiyon ko jalata yah aabhas karata hai ki mujhamen wah kuchh hai jo tumhe hasil nahin hai. manjoosha aur anuradha usaki aisi hi saheliyan thin, jinase wah yoon khuli thi. priyahari ko yad aaya ki apane swabhaw ki ganbhirata aur maun men chhipi rahane wali wanamala ki maujoodagi men ek bar manjoosha ne apani shararati aankhon se takate tana diya tha -'' priyahari ji to aise hi hain. unaka kya hai ? we to kawi hain. jo bhi man men aata hai we likh jate hain.'' priyahari tab samajh gaya tha ki jaroor manjoosha ka ishara wanamala par likhi us kawita ki taraf tha, jisamen usane wanamala ko ham-bistar sahachari ki tarah chitrit kiya tha. jaroor wanamala ke chitt men bhi wah kawita tair rahi thi. manjoosha ki aisi himmat ki kalpana use bhi nahin rahi hogi. manjoosha ke bagal men chhuee-muee si lajati wanamala maun khadi rahi thi. wanamala ke maun men chhipe pashopesh par manjoosha jaise wakil ki tarah priyahari se mukhatib thi - '' haye re.. , main bata nahin sakati. n jane mujhako to kaisa-kaisa lagata hai. priyahari ji bhala aisa likh kaise jate hain ?'' manjoosha ke khud ke chehare par haya utar aaee thi. usaki mudra us wakt yoon ho gayi thi jaise usane apani kalpana men wanamala ki jagah khud apane ko priyahari ke sath bistar men bhogarat paya ho. shikayat men priyahari ko prashnit karati usaki aankhen sharamaee pad rahi thin aur bhare chehare par galon ke ubhar men atirikt lalima chadi ja rahi thi.

wanamala ko manjoosha sayani saheli ki tarah sanbodhit kar rahi thi -''ye to bas aise hi hain. lekin diyar wanamala rani, tumhen apane aapako inase bachakar rakhana chahiye.'' priyahari soch raha tha ki 'bachakara' kahati manjoosha ke chitt men us wakt bachane ki wah kaun si chiz lahara rahi hogi . apani samajh men manjoosha jisaki or se wakalat kar rahi thi, awichalita, wah wanamala maun aur ganbhir rahi aaee thi. manjoosha ki nasihaton ke dauran usaki aankhen arth bhari drshti liye kewal priyahari ki aankhon men jhank rahi thin. idhar manjoosha thi ki wanamala ko chetawani deti huee bhi apane naz-o-nakharon ke sath priyahari ko chhedati maje le rahi thi. manjoosha ka swabhaw aisa hi tha. priyahari ko yad aaya ki kisi pahale bhi kabhi manjoosha ajnyat prerana se wanamala ki shubhachinta men un donon ke bich aa padi thi. us wakt koee nihayat masoom aur kamasin ek khoobasoorat ladaki apani padaee ke mamalon me priyahari ke sath baton men lagi thi. priyahari ka man bhi poori taur par samane upasthit ke sath laga tha. tabhi achanak wahan khadi wanamala se manjoosha priyahari ki or sanket karati batiya rahi thi -'' dekha, dekh liya na? mai to kahati hoon ki ye mard log aise hi hote hain. sab ek se hote hain.'' manjoosha ka aashay priyahari ne samajh liya tha. apane khilaf wanamala ko is tarah ukasane ki manjoosha ki harakat use pasand nahin aaee thi. khijh kar usane toka tha -'' isamen aisi kaun si ganbhir bat hai ? tum aakhir aisa kyon kah rahi ho aur kisake bare men kah rahi ho ? mai jo hoon , meri jo nishtha hai , us par kisi ko wishwas hona chahiye. arth men anarth aakhir log kyon dhoondhane lagate hain aur kisi ko aisa kyon karana chahiye. waisa kahate huye kshan-bhar ko priyahari ki aankhen wanamala ki aankhon se mili thin. manjoosha ko chidate huye mano us wakt wanamala ke prati ghoshit wafadari se priyahari apani priya ko tasalli deta usaka man jit raha tha. wanamala us sab ke dauran priyahari ko dekh rahi thi. usane ek sh bd bhi n kaha tha. idhar manjoosha thi ki priyahari ki jhidaki use nagawar gujari thi. jaldabaji men wah badabada uthi thi ''-o.ke baba, ab main tum dono ke bich nahin aaoongi. mujhako tum logon se kya karana hai? mai to kahati hoon tumhari jodi jugajug salamat rahe.'' priyahari kabhi yah n samajh paya ki manjoosha ke hrday men kya chhipa tha ? kya wah usaki shubhachintak thi ya priyahari aur usaki priya wanamala ke prati usake man men mithi eershyathi ? aisi kaun si bat thi, jo manjoosha ko priyahari ke khilaf wanamala ko salah dene, tasalli dene aur aagah karane ukasati thi ? jo bhi ho manjoosha ke rahate chijen yoon hi chalati rahi thin. priyahari se alag hokar kahin aur chali jane ke bawajood manjoosha waisi hi chanchala, khush aur priyahari ke sath sanbandho men bindas rahi aaee thi. paheli ab bhi barakarar hai ki aakhir kya aisa kya tha jisane manjoosha ko priyahari se yah poochhane ke liye prerit kiya tha ki wah usake aur sucharita ke bich kis ek ko chunana aur pana pasand karega.

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yah samajhana mushkil tha ki wanamala ki wah khijh kis par thi ?
nikalana khuld se aadam ka sunate aaye the lekin bade beaabaru hokar tere kooche se ham nikale - mirja galib

janmadin par wanamala pyar men madamast garwonnat thi - prasanna, aur priyahari bhi . us pal fir pratiksha aur milane ki khwahish ke sath we donon alag huye the . lekin parikshaon ke din kitane the ? bhid ke bich mulakaton ka wahi purana dharra shuru ho gaya. priyahari ka wanamala ke bagair rahana mushkil tha . wanamala se pyar bhari mulakaton ki khwahish use mare dal rahi thi . wanamala ki chetawani ke shabdon ko ki - ''aisa hona nahin chahiye . mere mistar ne poochha ki upahar kahan se aaye to main kya kahoongi ? asaliyat jan gaye to we mujhe bhi mar dalenge aur aapako bhi'' - yad karata bhi priyahari bhoola ja raha tha . din kate n katate the aur raten katane daudati thin . diwali men priyajanon ko shubhakamanaon ke kard bhejate usane shesh bache ek ko sahasapoorwak wanamala ke nam ghar ke pate hi bhej diya . chalaki bas itani ki usake sath usake bhayanak patidew ka nam bhi darj kar diya taki wah mahaj sadbhawana pratit ho . griting ka wah kard kalatmak tha . kangada shaili ki radha aur krshn ki yugal taswir us par chhapi thi. diwali ki chhutiःtayan bit chali thin. us bad ke daur men wanamala duchittepan ke mood ke sath priyahari se kabhi jhagadati aur kabhi pyar se use sahalati rahi thi . usaka gumasum raha aana priyahari ko dukhi karata tha. sanstha men kam ke ghanton ke bich ka antaral itana sankshipt huaa karata ki wah wanamala se furasat men baten kar sake. yoon hi bechaini men usake din katate gaye the. wah aktoobar ka takariban aakhiri din tha. kamakaj ki chhutti jaldi kar barah baje ke bad us din priyahari sidhe wanamala ke darawaje par ja pahuncha tha. priyahari ki ganana se yah anuman tha ki us din subah ki dyooti par wanamala ke shriman ja chuke honge aur bekhauf wanamala se milana ho sakega. lekin nahin, waisa huaa nahin . tin baje kam se lautane ki jagah unaka dopahar do baje ki dyooti par jana tay tha. priyahari se kaha to kisi ne kuchh nahin. saujany ki baten oopar-oopar ho rahi thin , lekin andar kahin tha, jo kuchh asahaj tha. us wakt priyahari ko laga ki shayadawah galat samay par ja pahuncha tha. wanamala ke bachche '' ankal-ankala'' pukarate priyahari ke sath badi dilachaspi ke sath baten kar rahe the. achanak wanamala ke mistar ki khijh bahar aaee. naraz hote huye we bangala bhasha men patni se unmukh huye . ''ye inhen ankal kyon kah rahe hain ? kisane sikhaya hai inhen ?'' ''kya ho gaya kah rahe hain to ?'' wanamala ne apane mistar ko samajhana chaha.' usake mistar badabadaye -''ye hamase kafi bade hain. inhen ankal nahin kahana chahiye.'' priyahari pashopesh men pad gaya tha. pati-patni ke bich ki bahas bangala men hoti aur priyahari se we hindi men bat karate the. usase chay ke liye poochha gaya tha. priyahari ne bata diya ki chay to wah leta nahin. wanamala ke mistar ne tab kaha ki chay nahin lete to main kafi le aata hoon, kafi bana do. wanamala ka mood kharab ho gaya tha. usane apane mistar aur priyahari ka tanik bhi lihaj kiye bagair aawesh men kaha - ''koee zaroorat nahin hai kafi lane ki. rahane dijiye. jo chiz ghar men nahin hai usake bare men kya zaroorat hai paresha n hone ki ?'' yah samajhana mushkil tha ki wanamala ki wah khijh kis par thi ? pati par , priyahari par , ya apane aap par ? wanamala ke pati daftar jane ki taiyari men the aur wah unhen khana khilane ki taiyari men. jaldi-jaldi khane ki aupacharikata si poori kar we nikalane lage. wanamala ko shayad yah gawara n tha ki usake pati ke n rahate priyahari usake sath baith sake. use kisi bhi sandeh ki aashanka se khauf tha. pati ke wahan rahate hi usane priyahari ko bhi talane ke lihaj se apane mistar se kaha-''inhen bhi le jaiye. chaurahe tak chhod dijiyega.''

wanamala ke pati ne sachamuch der hone ke karan ya wanamala ko chidane usaki bat tal di -''nahin, mujhe der ho gaee hai. waisa n hota to main inhen chhod deta.'' priyahari se mukhatib hote unhonne kaha-'' aap baithiye aaram se , main nikalata hoon.'' unake jane ke bad tanaw aur khijh men bhari wishadagrast wanamala priyahari se boli -'' ab aap bhi chale jaiye. khud mujhe bhi khana khana hai aur aaram karana hai.'' wiwash , stabdha, udas priyahari usake yahan se uth pada. use mahasoos huaa ki dipawali men wanamala ki yadon men bekarar hote apane dil ko griting-kard ke bahane jo usane bhej diya, wah usaki bahut badi bhool thi. wanamala ke nam ke sath usake pati ka nam jodana bhi karagar n huaa tha. lifafa dekhakar hi alikhit majamoon ko banch liya gaya tha. wahi wanamala aur usake pati ke bich tanaw ka sabab tha. donon ke bich zaroor us bat ko lekar is dauran jhagade huye the. aaj bhi unaki baton ke bich us griting ka jikr kinchit wyangy ke sath huaa tha. awashy isiliye wanamala in dinon usase bach rahane ki firak men khinchi-khinchi, alag-thalaga, chintit aur udas rahi aaee thi. us din ke bad priyahari lagatar wanamala ke chehare par ganbhir udasi aur khinchaw dekhata raha tha. wah usaki or niharati jaroor lekin ek chuppi thi, jisamen usaki prasannata ko lil rakha tha. wanamala ko awasadagrast aur chintit dekh priyahari ka man bhi rota tha. wah chahata tha ki wanamala ke sath baithe, usake gale se lag jaye aur kahe ki tumhara dukh mera bhi dukh hai. tum itani akeli aur udas kyon ho? lekin man ko masosakar wah rah jata tha. wiwash ta aur aaturata ka dwand priyahari ke andar mano wanamala ki aankhon men jhankata utar aata tha. priyahari ke liye wanamala rahasyamayi thi. use lekar isaka man chaubison ghante jhanjhawaton se ghira hota tha. kabhi–kabhi use aisa pratit hota jaise apani chupp udasi men wanamala shayad usase bhi adhik jhanjhawaton se gujar rahi hoti thi. wah itana gahara huaa karata tha ki usaki tah tak ja pana priyahari ko asanbhaw dikhaee padata. wah andar ka wichalan hi tha jo wanamala ki kinkartawy udasi ki tarah sadaiw usake chehare par chhaya hota. we din aise hi the jab donon milate, eka–doosare men sulagati aag ke un dhuyen se roobaru hote, par shabd hothon par tharatharakar tham jate. yahi niyati thi. us ek din achanak aisa sanyog bana bana tha ki larajate hothon se shabd foot pade the. donon hi najaren milate aur najaren churate eka–doosare ki udasi ko padh rahe the ki bahar kar ke rukane ki aawaj huee aur kshan bhar bad wanamala ki hi hamaumr ek sanwali krshakay lata dolati huee andar namoodar huee. wah daudakar wanamala se lipat chali thi aur priyahari ke samane hi ’’ hay kitane dinon bad tujhe dekh rahi hoon. fon tak karana bhool gaee hai aur lagao to tera fon hamesha band milata hai. kaisi hai tu ’’ kahati usake galon par chumban barasa rahi thi. milan ki waisi hi adhirata wanamala men bhi chhaee thi. gahara aalingan aur chunban donon taraf se baras raha tha. yah wanamala ke purane kalej ki sangini anshulata thi. donon is milan se apar khush thin. is khushi ki lahar ka chhinta priyahari tak bhi pahunch chala tha. wanamala ne aatmiyata se priyahari ki aankhon men jhanka aur prashansapoorwak usaka parichay anshulata se karaya . anshulata ki nigahen utsukata ki dilachaspi men jaise priyahari ko taul gaee thin. kahin kuchh aisa n tha jisamen yah aabhas ho ki tab wanamala aur priyahari ke bich kahin doori ho. anshulata ke aane ka fayada yah huaa ki batachit ka silasila fir chal pada. aksar waisa hota tha. roothi huee mauj ko bahar aane ka bahana donon ke andarooni mamalon se bekhabar kisi tisare ke aakar pul bana jane se hota tha. anshulata ke jane ke bad usi ke bahane wanamala aur priyahari ke bich tafasil se baten huee thin. is tarah jaise kisi se kisi ki koee shikayat n ho. priyahari wanamala se kah raha tha – “bataoon ? tumhari wah anshulata jab tumase lipat betahasha choom rahi thi to mujhe usase behad jalan ho rahi thi.’’ ’’ kyon ? bhala aap ko jalan kyon honi chahiye ?’’ ’’ isaliye ki tumhare sath wah jo kar rahi thi usapar to kewal mera adhikar tha.ji karata tha use pare

dhakeloon aur waise hi lipat donon ke bich ki sari kasar nikal daloon.’’ wanamala khilakhila padi. ’’ han. khayalon men to mere bhi waisa hi mausam aa chala tha. ab pachhataiye. wakt to chook gaya.’’ wanamala ne bataya ki usaki wah saheli krischiyan thi aur milan ki khushi men waisa chumban prachalit riwaj hi tha.’’ ’’ baba re, kya aaweg tha usake lipatane aur tumhen choomane men. tumamen bhi to waisa hi jwar umada tha. mujhe to aisa laga ki aage tum donon ke bich bas wah drshy ab upasthit hone hi wala hai. ’ ’’ chhi: aap bade waise hain ’’– wanamala boli. ’’ kya use tumane ham donon ke bare men aur kuchh kaha tha ?’’ ’’ kyon ? maine to kuchh nahin bataya tha.’’ ’’ mujhe aisa laga ki un aankhon men kuchh aur bhi tha’’ ’’ aurat ki aankhen bina kuchh bataye bhi bahuta–kuchh talash leti hain.’’ samay waise hi kata. isase pahale ki doosari pali ke log kam par aayen, wanamala apani pustaken aur pars samet hath hilati wida ho gaee thi.

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aap to bas kuchh bhi samajh lete hain. bai gada, mainne kabhi kisi se kuchh nahin kaha hai : wanamala

barf pighali. fir jaise ek-doosare ke man ki likhawat padakar kab priyahari aur wanamala nikat aaye, baithe, bat karane lage yah pata hi nahin laga. un dukhon aur majabooriyon ke bich ka yah sukh aur milan bhi sahaj tha. aise kshanon men we donon yoon ho jate jaise kabhi kuchh huaa hi n ho. ek din chahat aur pyar ke kshanon men priyahari ne usase kah diya ki 'wanamala, tumhari udasi aur wichalan mujhe bhayabhit karate hai. aisa lagata hai ki tootakar ghabarahat men tum hamare bich ke sanbandhon men mere prati apani narajagi ki charcha apani mahila sanginiyon se kar jati ho.' priyahari ne janana chaha tha ki kya usaka sandeh sahi hai ? wanamala priyahari ki aankhon se jhankati udasi aur wani men chhipe dard ko pad rahi thi jab wah usase kah raha tha ki 'wanamala, main chahata to anyon se bhi poochh sakata tha lekin meri naitikata ne kabhi mujhe yah ijajat nahin di ki main tumase poochhane ke sawal auron se poochhoon.' param ekant ke nirwighn kshanon men us din wanamala ke jawab men priyahari ko tasalli di. wanamala ne kaha tha ki aapas ki baten usane kabhi kisi se nahin ki wah kah rahi thi - ''aap bekar dukhi hote hai, sandeh karate hai. wishwas rakhiye ki aapas ki baten main kabhi kisi doosare se nahin kiya karati.'' din gujarate gaye. ek din priyahari jab kalej gaya to dekha ki prashasan ke khilaf stanf ke dwara yooniyan ke jariye ki gaee shikayaton ki janch ke liye unake bade afasar aaye huye hai. yooniyan ka sachiw wah hi tha isaliye prashasan ke wirooddh kendr men wah hi tha. use pata laga ki sari mahilaon ne yah likhakar de diya tha ki unhen shikayat to thi, lekin andarooni thi. sarakar tak bhejane ki bat unhonne nahin kahi thi. satyajita, nalinaji aur kanan ke alawa priyahari ke paksh men koee n bola. khoobasoorat anuradha spashtataः bans ke paksh ki thi. isaliye use chhodakar baki mahilaon ko kalej n aane ki taeed kar di gaee thi. priyahari ke man ko yah dhakka laga ki jin par wah bharosa karata tha; jinhonne shikayat

ki, kagajon par dastakhat kiye we hi dar kar bans ke kahane par aaj gayab ho gaeen. khasataur par usaki priya wanamala bhi jisake liye wah jahir taur par prashasan se jhagada kar baithata tha, us din gayab thi. wanamala ko pariksha ke kam ki kuchh paise nahin mile the. kewal usaka bhugatan kiya dikhakar hisab bhej diya gaya tha. ek din kabhi wanamala ke sath aur usake samane hi priyahari ne prashasan ke ejent ko bhole moshay ko is par fatakar bhi lagaee jisase wanamala par usane apani nakhushi jahir karate huye use dhamaki bhi di thi. sarala nilanjana ke sath bhi yahi huaa tha aisi shikayaten bahuton ki thin. inhin sab ki protsahan se priyahari lidar bana us bans jhagad pada tha jo khud use apana purana parichit aur mitr jan pas lana chahata tha . aur to jaise taise par jise wah bharose ka sathi samajhata tha us wanamala ke us din n aane ki shikayat priyahari ke man men rahi aaee thi wah pratiksha men tha ki usase bhent ho aur wah poochhe ki pyari wanamala, kya yahi mere wishwas aur prem ka pratifal hai jo tum mujhe de rahi ho ? priyahari use dekhane ki ichchha karata tarasata raha. n wah dikhaee deti thi, n koee usaki khabar dene wala tha. wah us tebil ki or dekhata jis par usaka kala pars kalej men usaki upasthiti batata tha aur jo ab lagatar gayab paya ja raha tha. tisare din achanak daftar men priyahari ko chandranath najar aaye. unhonne yah kahakar use chaunkaya ki maidam ka to transafar ho gaya hai aur ab main yahan aa gaya hoon. watawaran ki rahasyamay chuppi aur hawa men ghuli asadharan udasi ka karan ab priyahari ki samajh men aaya. ek din ki usaki chhutti aur anupasthiti ke dauran hi bahut kuchh ghat gaya tha. priyahari ki aankhon men wah drshy aur us pal ka wishad tair gaya jab pichhale dinon us par mar-mitate usane wanamala se kaha tha ki 'aise door rahane se to achchha hota ki wanamala chutaki bhar wish use apane hathon hi de de taki kam se kam aisi pyari maut se trpt wah apani aankhon men wanamala ko basaye pran tyag de.' tab wanamala ne jawab diya tha - ''chhiः re, isase to achchha yah hota ki main apane purane kalej men hi rahi aati. kam se kam majaboori ke aise din to n aate.'' han, usaka tabadala takariban chalis mil door malawa ke usi kalej men ho gaya tha jahan wah pahale rahi aaee thi. bad men kisi din sucharita ne prasang aane par bade anamanepan se priyahari ko soochit kiya tha - ''wanamala aaee to thi. aapako yahan-wahan dhoondhati bechain najar aa rahi thi. aap hi nahin aaye the.'' sucharita ka ishara us din ki taraf tha jab wanamala yahan se mukt kar chupachap bida kar di gaee thi. wanamala ke sath ki aadat is kadar jindagi ko ras aa gaee thi ki usaka chala jane priyahari ko soona chhod gaya tha use dekhe aur anadekhe panch din gujar chale the tabhi baten chali to kisi ne wyangy bhare swar men use bataya ki bans ke khilaf stanf ke shikayat par jo poochhatachh huee usamen bans ke paksh men hastakshar karane walon men 'aap ki' wanamala bhi to shamil thi. priyahari ko bahut pida huee. kamaskam wanamala se aisi ummid wah nahin karata tha. priyahari ne socha ki waise wyawahar se wanamala men mano isase poorw janmon ka bacha-khucha ऋn bhi wasool liya tha . usane tay kiya ki jakar is bat ke liye wanamala ko wah badhaee to de de. jo hona tha wah to pahale hi ho chuka tha. ab hone ko bacha kya tha jo bhay ho. bahut bhari man se priyahari wanamala ke ghar gaya. dopahar bad jab usake ghar dakhil huaa to usake shriman kam kar ja chuke the. marg nishkantak tha. wanamala akeli thi, shant thi. poochh parakh huee, baten huee. priyahari ke pahunchane se wanamala ka mood khil gaya tha. priyahari ne use bataya ki chhutti se lautane ke bad usane kya dekha, kya paya aur us kya gujari. bat chalate priyahari ne wanamala ke dastakhat ki charcha usase ki aur mayoosi men dooba use dhanyawad diya. usane kaha ki waisi ummid wanamala se use n thi. wanamala ne priyahari ko tasalli dene ki koshish ki. usane kaha - ''aap bekar pareshan hote hai. aapako kya hone ko hai ? bhola babu ghar aa gaye the. we pareshan the, minaminane lage ki 'maidama, dastakhat kar do anyatha men fans jaoonga. mere khilaf janch shurooho jayegi. aap to ab wahan se chali gaee hai. aakhir usamen harj hi kya hai ? usase mera bhala ho jayega.' wanamala ne aage joda - ''mainne hi socha ki ab jab sachamuch us kalej se mera lena-dena hi nahin raha to kya harj hai ? bas aise hi dastakhat kar diya.''

wanamala ne priyahari se kaha ki ab aap bhi wahan se nikal jaiye aur apana tabadala apane nagar men kara lijiye. wanamala hamesha apani un sahakarmiyon se sashankit raha karati thi, jo kabhi unhen milane aur kabhi alag karane apanapa dikhati priyahari ke gird mandaraya karati thi. wah aashwast hona chahati thi ki usake jane ke bad koee aur priyahari aur usaki yadon aur pyar ke bich prawesh n kar paye. jaisi duwidha aur sandeh wanamala ke man men the waise hi priyahari ke man me bhi the jisase wah bhi waisa hi wyathit tha. wanamala ki anyamanaskata aur rahasyamay wyawahar priyahari ke liye paheliyan thin. wah unhen boojhana chahata tha. sankoch men sahamate huye priyahari ne bhi wanamala se poochh liya - ''wanamala, aaj ek rahasy se parda uthana hoga. batao ki digar mahilaon ka wyawahar kabhi-kabhi mere prati achanak kuchh khinchaw ka kyon kar ho jata tha ? kya tumhara khud ka hath isamen nahin tha ? kya sachamuch aapas ki baton ki jugali tum unase nahin karati thin ?'' priyahari ne khulasa karate huye anuradha ki wanamala se kanafoosi aur anek bar wanamala men lakshit us rawaiye ka prasang chheda tha jab wah use akela chhod stanf room se bahar khisak leti thi. wanamala boli - ''aap to bas kuchh bhi samajh lete hain. bai gada, mainne kabhi kisi se kuchh n kaha hai. jahan tak staf-room se bahar rahe aane ki bat hai to main isaliye bahar rahati thi ki kamars ke hamare pramukh nalin sar se mujhe sakhat nafarat thi.'' kuchhek pal aisi chuppi men bite jinamen wanamala aur priyahari donon ka pashopesh chhipa tha. wanamala ka priyahari se aur priyahari ka wanamala se door rahana kalpanatit tha. we donon jaise atit ki sari ulajhanon ka samadhan karate-karate ek-doosare ki wafadari aur pyar ko widaee ki in palon men trpti ke sath bandhakar ek-doosare ko aashwast kar lena chahate the. wanamala ke dilase ke bawajood priyahari ka chitt udas tha . kis wanamala par wah bharosa kare-wah sochata raha ?

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shoony men khoya samay : main trpt main atrpt
andhere men usaki deh men trpt sukh damaka jaise damaki nak ki kil jaise sukh samoochi deh men gadati kil tha . -andhere men/ashok wajapeyi/ummid ka doosara nama/pr. 25

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badalon ki dhamaka, bijali ki sanasani aur moosaladhar barish : koee kisi se pyar nahin karata . kar hi nahi sakata . wah jise ham pyar kahate hain , mahaj ek joonoon hai. har aadami men ek wahasi joonoon hota hai. apane us joonoon ko hi wah pyar ka nam deta hai.

us mulakat ka ek-yek pal priyahari ki smrtiyon me tair raha tha. priyahari yani mere chehare ko gaur se wanamala ne dekha . usaki aankhon men shararat jhank rahi thi . achanak wah khilakhilakar hansane lagi . meri aankhon ne usaki aankhon men jhanka . udasi ki paraten aur gahari ho gaee . achanak wanamala boli- ''tumhara yahi buddhoopan to mujhe bhata hai .bekar kis chinta men pade rahate ho ?''

mere karib aati usane pichhe se sir ke bal pakade aur tadatad mere galon ko choom gaee . boli''tumhara yahi bholapan to mujhe khinchata hai . chhoti si koee bat kya huee, bas munh fool gaya aur aankhen shoony men jhankane lagati hain . main samane hoon . mujhase mil rahe ho fir bhi udas ho . batao bhala kyon naraj ho ?'' ''mujhe n jane kyon tumase dar lagata hai . pas hokar bhi tum door jo lagati ho .'' wanamala wahan pade takhat par baith gaee thi . meri bat ke jawab men boli''tumhari yahi ada to mujhe bhati hai . bilkul bachche ho, bhole aur masoom . meri aankhen nam ho chali . usake pairon ke pas baithakar mainne usaki god men apana sar rakh aankhon ki nami ko chhipane ki koshish ki . mera sar usaki janghaon ke bich dhansa tha .'' mainne dhire se kaha''mera majak mat udao pliz . mainne kaha n wah kal boli n main . usake hath mere balon ko sahala rahe the aur galon ka sparsh karate use haule-haule masal rahe the . wah kshan maun ke sanwad ka tha .'' mainne kaha''aaj mujhe bhagaogi nahin .'' jaise bahut door se aawaj aa rahi thi, usane usi aawaj men jawab diya . ''nahin ! wo ab rat das baje aayenge aur bachche kisi grup ke sath pikanik par hain . rat unhen lekar aana hoga .'' usi tarah sir gadaye mainne dhime se poochha''kamawali naukarani'' ''wo do dinon se gayab hai . khabar aaee thi ki koee bimar hai . shayad kal aaye . mera baichen sir usaki janghaon ki sandhi men dhansa pad raha tha . mere hath usaki janghaon par pasare the aur usake put thon ko dabate ghar rahe the . wanamala ka sir jhookakar meri pith par tika ja raha tha . usake stanon ka gudaj sparsh meri pith ko sahala raha tha .'' wanamala poochh rahi thi- ''sidhe kanlej se chale aaye hain na ? thaharo ! hato, main tumhare liye kuchh lati hoon .'' jhatake se wah uth khadi huee . pahale batharum ki or gaee . fir ek chhoti plet ke sath rasoee se wah namoodar huee . pani ke chhinton se usaka chehara dhula tha . chehara usane ponchha n tha aur pani ki chhinten nanhin boondon ki shakl men usaki laton par saje the .‘’ ''lo aaj mere hathon se khao'' wah samane khadi rasagulle mere muh men thoosane lagi . mainne nigala . kaha- ''aise nahin, mere sath tum bhi khaogi .'' mainne plet se ek-par-yek do rasagulle utha usake muh men thoons diya . mere honth usake rasagulle se ante foole galon ko bari-bari se choomate un onthon tak pahunche jahan rasagulle samaye the . hothon se hoth bhida mainne dhire se munh men bhare rasagullon se ek tukada dant men dabaya aur bola- ''wanamala tumhare hothon ki mithas rasagullon ki chasani se doguni ho gaee hai .'' '' aah , jhoothe . mujhe maska laga rahe ho '' wah mujhe pare dhakelati hai. '' tumhare siwa hai bhi kaun jo is kabil ho ? tumhen bura lagata ho to n lagaya karoon ?'' meri aankhon men jhank wah nigahen jhuka leti hai. usake panwon ki anguliyan thirak rahi hain. angootha jamin ko kured raha hai. meri aankhen usake chehare men doobi mugdh hain. bahar aangan men ranga.birange foolon ki chhata ke sath usaki watika ki haritima wasanti dhoopachhanhi chhata men manamohak lag rahi hai. us tarah salajata men thithaki wanamala men bhi mujhe wahi chhata najar aa rahi hai. aankhon ,palakon, bhauhon , hothon, galon, laton, nasika - sab par tikatin meri aankhen wanamala ko lil rahi hain. mujhe yad aa raha hai -''sarwe nawa iwa bhanti madhumas iw druma :''. safed foolon ki chamak se bhari saghanata men faili chameli ki pattiyon men jara chikani lalima main bhar dena chahata hoon. usaki chhitaraee patali daliyon men main us lata ki namakin lahasuniya gandh bhar dena chahata hoon, jo barish ke bad nile foolon ke guchchhon se lad jati hai. wanamala thik waisi hi hogi. bhujaon ki thik waisi hi namakin gandh ke satha. wanamala ki palaken jhukati hain. wakshasthal ko kanpati gahari sans bahar aati hai aur thirak kar maun ho jati hai. apane mandaswar se wanamala mere kanon men prawesh karati hai. ''mujhe pahali bar dekh rahe hain kya ?'' kya nistabdhata men bhi madhury ho sakata hai ? han, yah maine us wakt jana.

'' tumhen jab bhi dekhata hoon wah pahali bar hi hota hai. isase pahale ki aankhon men tumhen basakar trpt ho paoon, tum ojhal ho jati ho. aaj ji bhar niharane do. '' aaj wah fir dekhane se wanchit kar rahi hai. jawab men wanamala ka chehara mere waksh men sama jata hai. usi atal gaharaee se ek ragini uth rahi hai. '' tum mujhe pagal bana doge. '' usi tarah niraw padachap se mera jawab wanamala ka sparsh karata hai. '' apani watika ki khoobasoorati aaj tumane chura li hai.'' wanamala ki chibuk ko anjuri men thame mera mandr swar usase kah raha hai -''tumane mujhe pagal bana diya hai.'' main poochhata hoon - aaj ji chahata hai tumhari watika ki sari khoobasoorati samet loon. sair karaogi n ?'' usaki hatheliyon ne mujhe tham liya hai. ''aao .'' apani badi-badi aankhonse mujhamen jhankati wah us or khinchati hai jidhar watika ki or khula dwar hai. mera bayan hath anguliyon men asajja men bhi sajjit usake sapat keshon par haulehaule thirak raha hai. dayan hath us dwar ki sitakini sarakata hai aur bagicha kaid men sinkachon ke par chala jata hai. ek anam mithas ki bhini-bhini sugandhi se bhari madak stabdhata ke bich kewal dil ki dhadakanon ka hi shor hai, jo nirantar badata ja raha hai. ahasason men use kewal do sun rahe hain. ek wanamala, aur doosara main yani priyahari. ''watika wahan hai, jahan wanamala hai. main wahan jahan meri watika hai.'' meri aawaz itani dhimi hai ki wanamala ke un us kan ke alawa jisaki tanbe ki tarah lalaee lau ke karib mere hoth apana sandesh us tak pahuchane bad chale hain, us apani hi aawaz ko mai bhi nahin sun sakata. ek jhatake se wanamala ke us hath ko mere hath apani or yoon khichate hain ki dwait men shor machati dhadakanen paraspar sankramit aur sangamit hotin nirjhar ki taral shitalata men tabdil hueen pahadi ka aaweg kho samatal dharati par aa utarati hain . alas-anamane bahar jate wanamala ke un kadamon ko main, mera jaduee sandesh is tarah khinch lautata hai jaise unhen bas aise hi manuhar ki pratiksha thi. wanamala mujhe apane bagiche ki sair kara rahi thi. main us kone ki or bad raha tha jahan laharati jhadiyon ke jhuramute men nim andheron men chhipi ek nanhi kali chinagari si damak rahi thi. ''udhar nahin pliza. wah sanrakshit kona hai. udhar jana khataranak hai.'' maine wanamala ki aankhon men jhanka. mujhe bura laga tha. '' kya fayada jo bahar ki sair se lubhati ab tum aisa kah rahi ho? thik hai maine dekh liya tumhen. jab tumhari hi ichchha nahin to main kya kahoon? main jata hoon. bas dekh liya tumhen.'' '' aap bura man gaye. jara aaram kar lijiye fir jaiyega. mujhe to aap ka yoon hi raha aana bhi bahut bha raha hai.'' ''nahin tumhari bahar ki sair ne mujhe bechain kar diya hai. andar jane se tum mana kar rahi ho. kitani der se tumhare sath yoon tahal raha hoon. meri tisari tang tharathara rahi hai aur tum ho ki ain use thamane ki jagah bhaga rahi ho.'' ''lao'' wanamala ne use tham liya. ''aah ! yah mujhase nahin sanbhala jayega. bahut tap raha hai. ise jhuramut ke us andhere men mujhe tikana hoga jahan mere bagiche ki dharati lawa ugal rahi hai. chalo aao? aa jao. are tede-mede kahan tang bhatak rahi hai. rah dekh sidhe ghuse chale aao. aao aur khoob dekh lo tumhen maine kahan-kahan saja rakha hai?''- wah boli. bagiche ke un jhuramuton ka tang andhera kapat ki tarah tana tha. kapaton ki sandhi ko tohatitatolati meri tang andar prawesh karane betab tharathara rahi thi. wanamala ne kasakar thama aur kapat ki sandhi par yoon tikaya ki fir dhakka deta main sidhe khud hi dhans chala. meri tang bagiche ki us andheri surang men bhi jo nami se bhig rahi thi, har kone ko wah ab toh-toh kar tatol rahi thi. diwaren ris rahi thin. lar tapakati manon we us tap ki pratiksha men thin jo unhen sokh

le. jahan-jahan main dhansata wanamala mujhe sanbhalati sath chipaki hoti. donon ko ek-doosare ka khoob dhyan tha. maine paya sachamuch wah ek dahakate foolon ki watika thi. wanamala ki us pyari watika men kabhi mere hath laharati bela ke bhoore rasile angooron ko todate, chabate aur choosate rahe aur kabhi un kadali stanbhon ko mapate rahe jo sutawan chikanaee men dhale the. kabhi main un khoobasoorat golaiyon par fisalata jo watika men bel ke fal jaise bharapoor pushtata men foole ja rahe the aur kabhi us sankare nakkashidar pul ko mapata jo aawajahi karate kanpkanp kar lachakata khoob gudagudaye ja raha tha. '' kitana sundar bagicha hai? bahut maja aa raha hai. ji chahata hai ki apani uchhalati tang men chipaka sath leta jaoon.'' '' ab jab ghus chale ho to yah watika tumhari hai. le lo bharapoora. jitana jahan-jahan se bhaye lete jao.'' ''aaha, sachamuch tumhara jawab nahin. lo ye liya.'' ''aur lo'' ''yah dekho, aur liya'' ''lo? aura, aura,aur liya'' ''aaha? lete chalo. le-lekar ise jitana nichodoge utani hi jyada main hari hoti chaloongi'' ''aaha, wanamala mere sath bhi wahi ghat raha hai jo tumhare sath ghat raha hai. jitana leta hoon? jitane andar jata hoon, utana maja badata jata hai'' '' haya.haya. yah kya ho raha hai? bijali chamak rahi hai. badalon ki nami mujhako bhiga chali hai. ab rukana mushkil hai. daud chalo. chalo jaldi, aur-aur jaldi'' kood-kood kar , uchhal-uchhal kar chot khata aur wanamala ke bagiche ki har satah se takarata main betahasha daud raha tha. '' aaha, mujhamen bijaliyan kadak rahi hain.'' main chikh raha tha. '' mujhamen boonden baras rahi hain. main bhigi ja rahi hoon.'' - wanamala budabuda rahi thi. '' akele nahin. ham donon bhig rahe hain. aah is sanasani ko kaise nigalen. yah bijali giri- eka.. do.. tina.. chara.. pancha.. chhaः .. sat '' '' aah meri chhatari men sama kar chipak raho. bas karo baba bahut bhig liye'' idhar fuhar ki sanasani mere andar failati ja rahi thi aur udhar gufaon ki larajati-kanpati diwaren use gudaguda rahi thin . fir ek bindu aisa aaya jahan halki padati barish char-panch tarangon ke sath aghakar samoochi jhar chali. bagiche ki jamin khoob naha chali thi. we panw jo sahachary ki gudagudi paida karate wanamala aur mujhe sair ka maja de rahe the is wakt kichad men sane susta rahe the. hamare bich sara pathar barish ki chipachipahat se bhar gaya tha . chhatari men samaye ham kab tak behosh rahe aaye yah kahana mushkil hai. jab hosh toota to hamane paya ki mausam saf ho chuka tha. pyar men upajayi kich aur mitati ki fasal utara, aawaranon ki silawaten saja masoom duniyadaron ki tarah swarg ki sair se laut punaः sofe-kursiyon ke jiw ho chale the. baten karate, hansate-bolate,hilate-hilate, dolate-dulate, khilate-khilakhilate aaram men alasa chala man ab fir jag chala. ik-dooje ko takatin, ik-dooje men doobin, milati-khilatin-uthati-jhukati aankhen adhik majabooti aur taiyari ke sath us ek anubhaw ko pukhata kar lene bula rahi thin. rasagulle ki mithas ab tak baki thi par ab wanamala ke ras men doob mithas doguni ho chali thi. use abhi -abhi maine chakha tha lekin ji fir us mithas ko nigalane machalane laga tha. wanamala abhi.abhi thik hi to kah rahi thi ki yah aaj kal fir shayad n laut payega. us din main sara kuchh ekabaragi wasool lena chahata tha . aisa ki meri priya aur mere andar ki sara samarthy ek-doosare men ek-doosare ko hamesha ke liye khalas kar de . is khayal ki sanasani ke sath mere hothon ne achanak fir wanamala ke hothon par hamala kar unhen daboch liya . karawat se fir usake sharir ko chitawastha men dhakelata usaki kati ko ghere us par sawar tha . kuchh wakt pahale chakhi mithas ka nasha daraasal ab asar karata chadakar bolane laga tha. is bar bagair mauka ganwaye wanamala bhi fauran lata ki manind laharati mere badan par lipat chhati chali gaee thi. kasakasati

chhatiyan koee kasar n chhod tin ek-doosare ko masalati hod le rahi thin . galon se galon ki chhed-chhad chal rahi thi . is chhed-chhad men honth fir kahan ja bhide pata hi n chala . kabhi wah apane hothon ke bich mere hothon ko nigal jane ki koshish karati aur kabhi main pratidwandwita men aage nikal jata . janghaon ke bich chhipa mera komal man fan kadhe bahar aane ko betab lahara raha tha . wanamala ki janghaon ke bich ke komal guhadwar se chipaki jati meri betabi usake chitt ko bhi chhu rahi thi . pyar ki is pyari kasmakas men girate-sanbhalate donon antataः usake paryank par ja gire the . pal bhar ko sara kuchh tham gaya tha . jaise ham chipake khade the, waise hi bistar par gire paye gaye . wah mujhe aur main use mugdh aankhon se nihar rahe the . meri hatheliyan bade haule-haule usake balon par fir rahi thi . bari-bari we donon galon par pyar bhari thapakiyan de rahi thin . wanamala ki banhen mujhe ghere jakad rahi thi . meri jibh ki kanpati nok usake hothon par firane lagi thi aur fir hothon se hothon ko nigalane ki hod shuru ho gaee thi . achanak mainne jhatake se khud ko oopar uthaya . ab meri mutiःthayon men usake we do gol ghere the jo bailoon ki manind fool-fool kar bade ja rahe the . angoothe aur tarjani ke bich laliyaye aur lalachate angooron jaise mithe aur hothon men lapak aane ko aatur usake sundara, bhoore stanagron se main khel raha tha . wanamala 'aah-aaha, chhodo na..' kahati sisakariyan bhar rahi thi . maine un sisakariyon men ''han - han aur n '' suna . hathon ko apani jagah kayam rakhe mera sir usaki kamar se niche janghaon ki sandhi ko dhwast karane thokar mar raha tha . ab tak jakadi usaki janghen pighalane lagi thin . ''aaha, tum mujhe mare dal rahe ho . main pagal huee ja rahi hoon, . chhod do na plij . ab main aur baradasht nahin kar paoongi .'' wanamala budabuda rahi thi . mera sharir failakar usake mathe tak pahuncha . wanamala ki bayen kan ki komal lau mere hothon ki giraft men thi . mainne halke se us par dant gadaye aur itane dhime kaha ki usake kanon ke bahar dhwani n jaye- ''chhod doon sachamucha,.. ya andar aa jaoon. .'' barason se bhara sabr ka bandh ab tootane ki kagar par tha . ''aaha'' usane sisakari bharate kaha - ''jo bhi karana ho karo n . jaldi karo pliza, main mari ja rahi hoon.'' wanamala ghar men prayaः gaun men huaa karati thi . mujhe yah gawara n tha ki usake aur mere bich wah aaye . meri anguliyon ki furti ne tadatad gaun ke sare batan khol diye aur fir bhi meri banhon ki dushman bani kamaraband ki ganthen kholin . apani priya ki bhujaon se niche khinchata usake gaun ko pairon ke pas fenkate mainne kaha- ''pyare gauna, aaj tum door raho aur mere badan ko hi meri priya ka aawaran banane do . aisi hi kriya aur aise hi sanwad se wanamala mere wastron ko bhaga rahi thi .'' usake panwon par mere hath pyar se fisal rahe the . mainne usake panw ke angoothe ko hothon ke bich daba danton se kata . pindaliyon ke gudaj modon ko dabaya . usaki pusht janghaon par hatheli se thapen di aur un janghaon se poochha ki taiyar ho ya nahin . unake uttar ki pratiksha kiye bagair mainne donon janghaon ko failate apani janghaon ke liye jagah banaee . meri aankhon ko apane najuk astitw ka toh lena dekh wanamala hath se apane un hothon ko dhakane ki koshish men lagi thi, jahan prawesh karane meri mutthi men thama paurush lalayit tha . udhar bachane ki koshish thi aur yahan prawesh ki uttejana se angadaiyan leta mera betab ladala tha . wanamala ki ek banh pasarakar niche aa khisaki thi . usaki mutthi mere paurush ko sahalati jakade ja rahi thi . wanamala ki hatheliyon ko choom mainne haule se alag kiya. wanamala ke dil ke us najuk kone men aisa lawa bhara tha jisamen param shitalata chhupi thi . mujhe usi ki talab thi. wanamala ki aatur hatheli ne fir fir mujhe tham liya tha . wah mere paurush ko thame rah dikhati khud wahan le ja rahi thi jahan usaki komal wanamala us paurush ko nichod jane betab thi . wanamala ke mude huye ghutane pasar chale the aur mera astitw un donon ke bich chhipi wanamala men sama chuka tha . maine hath failaye aur wanamala ke gol gunbadon par chipakate huye apane un hathon ko haule-haule wanamala ki banhon ke niche se gujarate apani hatheliyon se usake sir ko tham liya . niche honth apani jagah bhide the aur ab oopar usake chehare para, usaki palakon par chumbanon ki bauchhar ho rahi thi . wanamala ke hoth tharatharaye, lapake aur mere hothon se gunth gaye . meri jibh ne hothon ko thelate jagah banaee aur sidhe wanamala ke muh

men dhans gaee . wah nipun thi. spardha men yah dekhane ka wakt n tha ki kisaki jibh or kisake adhar kise parast karate lilate ghuse pad rahe hain. andar ki jwala bahar bhadakati bar-bar kendr ko ainthati, gudagudati, siharati lautati fir aur bhishan lapaton ke sath hame sulaga jati thi. cheharon ke khel ka asar chhatiyon par dabaw badhata ja raha tha . aur tab jaise kamare men bhoochal aaya . wanamala ke sath mera badan hilane aur dolane laga . sari shaiya jaise us samay do se ek huye badanon ke bich samaee ja rahi thi . lawa pighalata-risata ja raha tha aur usaki chikanaee wanamala aur mujhe gudagudaye ja rahi thi . pyari wanamala, aaj main tumhen nahin chhodoonga . tumane mujhako bahut tarasaya hai . har bar main wanamala ke andar jata aur bahar nikalata . janghaon ke bich ki thapp ki aawaj ke sath main doharata ''lo ..... aur lo ..... leti jao aaj sara pyar samet lo '' bhootal se wanamala ki prthwi sisakariyan leti karahati ''do ..... poora do aur meri samoochi prthwi hila samet lo. lo yah maine diya..... koee kasar mat chhodo'' wanamala ka aanandalok ''aaha,--aaha..'' ki gudagudi lahar ban mere adharon par ufan raha tha . wanamala ke gale se pratidhwanit hoti wah laut rahi thi ''aao ..... aur aao ..... mar dalo mujhe aaja'' wah budabuda rahi thi- ''aap ko mainne bahut tarasaya hai . sari shikayat mita dalo aaja. aaj wanamala aapaki hai . yah 'aaja' shayad kal lautakara, kabhi lautakar fir n aaye.'' idhar fuhar ki sanasani mere andar failati ja rahi thi aur usaki gufaon ka kanpan use gudaguda raha tha . fir ek bindu aisa aaya jahan char-panch-chhaः -sat-aath jitani na-maloom tarangon ke sath barish khatm huee aur kichad men ham doob gaye . usaka pathar barish ki chipachipahat se bhar gaya tha . wanamala ki chhatiyon men sar gadaye main sthir ho gaya tha aur wah thi ki mere balon ko sahalati bar-bar mere galon ko choome ja rahi thi . ''bas aise hi soye raho . abhi mujhe chhod kar n jana . yahin aaram karo . '' wanamala rani, pyar men budabuda rahi thi . main usaka gulam tha . isi halat ke sath us sannate men ham gum rahe jo hamare daramyan badalon ki dhamaka, bijali ki sanasani aur moosaladhar barish ke sath ghati thi . wanamala aur main eka–doosare ki taraf munh kiye aaram ki mudra men yoon lete the jaise sare sansar ki badhayen parakar ham nishchint kinare aa lage hon. usaki bhujayen mere kandhe par pasari thin aur mera hath wanamala ki gardan par hota usake sir ke balon ko sanwar raha tha. ’’ ji nahin manata. chahata hoon tumhen apane sath bhagakar kahin door le jaoon’’– maine kaha. wanamala ne meri aankhon men jhanka. ek chamak ubhari aur ek muskan tair gaee. ’’ kyon ? mil to gaya jo tum chahate the. mujhe bhagakar ab kya karoge ’’– wah boli. ’’ tum meri pyas ho. yoon chori–chori kab tak chalega ? tumase mil pana kya saral hoga ? sara kuchh anishchit hai. kya tumhen tasalli hogi ?’’ abhi–abhi tirati chamak udas ho chali thi. chehara un badalon se ghir chala tha jo hamesha us par chhaye rahane ke aadi the. ’’ maine waisa kab kaha ? lekin aadami ki fitarat se main wakif hoon. aakhir aurat hoon na! sapanon aur hakikat ke bich ek kathor fasala hota hai.’’ ’’ achanak yah bat kahan se aa gaee ?’’–wanamala ki chibuk tham usaki aankhon men jhankate maine kaha. dohari hoti apana munh usane meri chhati men gada diya tha. ’’ sab kahane ki baten hain. bhagakar le jaoge kahan ? jimmedariyon aur musibaton ka ahasas hote hi tumhari pyas bojh ban jayegi aur tum bhag khade hooge. har mard yahi karata hai. jo hai, wah hai. use hi swikar lena chahiye. kya itana kafi nahin hai ?– wah boli. achchhe kshanon ke bich aa chale waise kadawe wicharon ko maine chitt se jhatak dena chaha lekin usame karagar n huaa.

wanamala ka chehara meri chhati men dhansa tha aur use apani or khinchata mainusase chipaka pad raha tha. wah khud bhi aaturata se laharati lipatati ja rahi thi, lekin usaki wani men basa darshanik ganbhirata men budabudaye ja raha tha – ’’ jo is wakt hamamen hai, wah hakikat hai priyahari. lekin main bataoon ? usase bhi badi hakikat yah hai ki koee kisi se pyar nahin karata. kar hi nahin sakata. wah jise ham pyar kahate hain mahaj ek junoon hai. har aadami men ek wahashijunoon hota hai. apane us junoon ko hi wah pyar ka nam deta hai. ichchha meri thi, ichchha tumhari thi. main aur tum to eka–doosare ke liye apani hi chahat ke aalanban the. ichchhaon ki belen takaratin lipat chalin to use hamane pyar ka nam de diya. kal meri ya tumhari ichchha ka rukh badal gaya to apana pyar is bistar se samet ham kahin aur bichha denge. samikaran hata ki pyar ghata. tum roothana nahin. lekin n jane kyo yah wichar mere chitt men bara–bar aata mujhe bikhara jata hai. mere pyare buddhooram main janati hoon ki meri berukhi, mere doora–door bhagate bach rahane se hi to tum mujhase naraj the. meri bhi ichchha tumhari ichchha men sama jane ki utani hi balawati thi, jitani tumhari. aakhir andara–andar chhilata antar ka dwandw jab asahy ho gaya to maine than liya ki jo hona ho, wah hota rahe. mujhe samarpan karana hoga aur samarpan pana hoga. mujhe maloom tha ki tum aaoge. aaj waisa huaa. bhawishyako main nahin dekh sakati par aaj tumase milakar maine rahat to pa li hai.’’ mujhe ab tak nahin maloom ki rasarang ki wela men waisi bat ki kya prasangikata ho sakati thi ? kya wanamala mujhe wirakt karana chahati thi ? kya wah khud wirakt hona chahati thi ? kya waisa kahati wah pyar men mujhe aur adhik dubana chahati thi ? ya kya wishwas aur samarpan men bhigati wah khud mujhamen gaharaee men doob rahi thi ,? jo bhi raha ho, wanamala par mujhe aur jyada pyar umad aaya. usaka eka–yek shabd mujhamen gahare utarata chala gaya tha. bhawishyamen kya chhipa tha mujhe bhi nahin maloom tha lekin us wakt maine mahasoos kiya ki wanamala usase kahin adhik buddhimati hai, jitana main sochata tha. apani shreshthata ka mera ahankar kho gaya tha. mujhe nishchayaho gaya ki wanamala ka sath hi sarwatha mere anukool hai. usase behatar sahachari milana sanbhaw n tha. main use kabhi n chhodoonga aur hamesha usase pyar karata rahoonga. shoony men khoya samay achanak hamare bich ghus pada . wanamala ki najaren ghadi par pad gaee thi . ''basa, ab aaj aur nahin, pare hato .'' usane mujhe jhatake se alag kar diya . main trpt tha, main atrpt tha . achanak paida huee rookawat se sara tanaw thanda to pad gaya, lekin wah ek afasosajanak udasi bhi bhar gaya tha . widaee ke shabd the- ''aapako mainne bahut tarasaya tha n . aurat ki majaboori aap nahin samajhate isiliye rooth jate the . aap kya samajhate hain ? mere andar bhi wahi chahata, wahi aaga, wahi pyasa, trpti ki wahi kamana thi . aapaki tadap mujhe bhi tadapa kar rakh deti thi .'' wanamala ki aankhon se umadate aansuon ne usake swar ko awaruddh kar diya tha . rundhe gale se usane us bela ke antim shabd kahe- ''aaj mainne apana sab kuchh aapako saunp diya hai . aapako bharamukt karate aaj mainne bhi majabooriyon ka sara bhar khatm kar dali hai . aaj ham donon trpt huye . is awastha men aakar ab tak bachati, wanamala aapase bandh chali hai . stri yad rakhati hai, purush trpt hokar bhool jata hai . dekhoon aap mujhe yad rakhate hain ya nahin .'' yah kaisi majaboori thi ki wanamala se milan ki chir-ichchhit bela ne milane ki pyas bujhakar pyas ki aag aur bhadaka di thi . main soch raha tha-'' kya wanamala ke sath mera milan yoon fir kabhi hoga ?'' darawaje se bahar nikalati sadak tak wah mujhe chhodane aaee . sh ः m ka dhundhalaka ho chala tha . wrksh ke niche andhera gaharaya huaa tha . mujhe bida karati wanamala ki chahat se bhari aankhen meri aankhon men jhank rahi thi . we bhar aaee thin . aansu ke do boonden galon par dhulak padi thin . main trpt tha main atrpt tha. meri aankhen usake chahare men doobi mugdh hain . bahar aangan men usake rang-birange foolon ki chhata ke sath usaki watika ki haritima wasanti dhoop-chhahin chhata men manamohak lag rahi hai. us tarah salajata men thithaki wanamala men bhi mujhe wahi chhata nazar aa rahi hai. aankhon,palakon,bhauhon,hothon, galon,laton,nasika – sab par tikati meri

aankhen wanamala ko lil rahi hain. mujhe yad aa raha hai – “sarwe nawa iwabhanti madhumas iw druma:”.

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kaloni ki aathawin sadak : thand ki gunaguni dhoop ka mausam aur dopahar bad ka samay
us din priyahari laut to aaya, lekin man usaka wanamala ki kaid men hi raha aaya tha . wah din-rat bechain rahata ki kaise fir wanamala se usaka waisa hi milan ho ? kaise usase milane ki tarakib wah kare ?, lekin samajik maryadayen, sankocha, usake ghar ki pidayen, wanamala ke ghar wale ka khayala, usake door ke us naye kalej men jane lautane aur milane ka makool samay-ye sab ke sab priyahari ka man bandh dete the . bahut sochakar usane ek tarakib nikal hi li . priyahari ko maloom huaa ki wanamala ki kaloni ki aathawin sadak men usake ek parichit gajanan rahate the . usane socha ki sahapariwar gajanan ke yahan jane ke bahane wanamala ke yahan bhi pahuncha ja sakata hai. ise aap besharma, diwanagi ki had kah sakate hain ki priyahari ne waisa kiya bhi. ek-sawa mahine ke andar hi chhutti ke kisi roj apane irade ko pariwarik jama pahanate usane sapatnik wanamala ke darawaje par dastak di . wah disambar ka mahina tha . thand ki gunaguni dhoop ka mausam aur dopahar bad ka samay . wanamala prakat huee . khole gaye kiwad ke pallon par tiki usaki kalaiyan aur unindi aankhen liye thake chehare ki yaden priyahari ki aankhon men ab bhi ataki hain . usaki hi tarah sadagi men laparawahi se purana sliping gaun usake un jismon ko dhake tha jinake par jhankati priyahari ki paradarshi aankhen apane tan ko usase chipakaye rakhana chahati thi . un dhalati golaeeyon ko usane dekha jinhen manjmanj kar wah sakhti aur tajagi se bhar dena chahata tha . usaki yahi sadharanata mohak thi. wah us pul ka kam karati thi, jisase donon ke man ek-doosare ke sath jude the . us roj ghar badha rahit tha . wanamala aur priyahari ki aankhen aur dil unake bich yadon bhare atit ko dekhate maun sanwad kar rahe the . lekin tab bich men priyahari ki patni thi, jisaki maujoodagi men wyaktigat sanbhaw nahin tha . kuchh hi der men unake bich ek aur mehaman aa tapaka tha. wah usaki pariwarik mitr thi . padilikhi, jarman bhasha ki anuwadak ek bramhani sam-wayaska jo wanamala ke pati ke bangali mitr ke sath pyar men byah racha wanamala ki manaः sthiti liye din katati dikhaee pad rahi thi . shadishuda jindagi ki dharre bhari nirasata ko usaki baton ke andaj se priyahari ne pad liya. nawagantuka ramani ne jijnyasa bhari dilachaspi se un sab ko dekha tha aur fir baton ke silasile chal pade the . wanamala ko dekhane ki ichchha us din poori to jaroor huee lekin is poori ichchha ne dilon ki us aas ko adhoora chhod diya, us pyas ko aur adhik bada diya jisaki trpti ke liye priyahari ka man chhatapata raha tha . bhale hi wanamala priyahari ki aankhon se ojhal ho chali thi. priyahari ke man par kabja usi ka raha aaya. ghar-bahara, sote-jagate use wanamala ka pyara, usaki wiwashata, usaka pashopesh salate rahe. har pal bekarari men bitata. kabhi yah ichchha hoti ki bhag kar wah wanamala ke naye kalej ja pahunche aur kabhi man karata ki wanamala ke ghar chala jaye. ji karata ki wanamala se ja lipate aur kahe ki priye aur pariksha ne lo. is janm men agar milana is kadar mushkil hai to mere pran le lo. tumhari god men sar rakhakara, tumhare sanwale mukhade ko niharate lachar udasi men doobi aankhon men aankhe dale apane pyar men antim swas lena bhi mere liye paramamukti ka kshan hoga. we din hi aise the. chahe wah banaras wishwawidyalay men mahine bhar risarch ke kam se raha aaya ho chahe apane sansthan men sar khapata baitha hoye ya kahin aur wyastataon men raha ho har

wakt priyahari ko wanamala ki yad satati rahi thi. un dinon n jane kya-kya aur kitana wanamala ki smrtiyon men usane likh dala tha. sal bhar bad jab wanamala fir lautakar aaee tab priyahari ne judaee ke un dinon ke ek-yek pal ki gatha usase kah dali thi. priyahari ke prem men abhibhoot wanamala ne wah sab suna tha. use akhabar ke bahane bheje priyahari ke sandesh yad the. 'hay re' ki ada men wanamala priyahari ki is diwanagi se sarabor kahati - ''aap bhi to bas ...........'' bichhadane ka dard aur purnamilan ki diwanagi ne ek bar fir wanamala aur priyahari ke tallukaton men bahar lauta di thi.

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aurat bhala kyon chahegi ki usaka chaheta usake kisi aur rakib ke dar ka thikana usase poochhe ?
we din nawaratri aur dashahare ki chhutiःtayon ke the . dinacharya se hate in dinon men us romans ka abhaw khatak raha tha, jo priyahari ko wanamala ke sahachary se milata tha . wanamala ki yad betarah sataye jati, lekin priyahari par a-milan ke ye panch-chhaः roj hi bhari pad rahe the . tinchar din bitate n bitate ghar ke ubaoo akelepan ko bhagane priyahari ne tarakib nikali . samajik melmulakat ke bahane apani bibi ko skootar men bitha wah pas hi ke us nagar ko jane wali sadak par nikal gaya jahan door-door base antaralon men un lalanaon ka basera tha, jo usaka atit thin . halanki sab se milane ki aad men usaki khas kasak us wanamala se milane ki thi, jisake yahan jana sandeh ko janm deta tha . pahala dera sundari jinat ke yahan pada tha, jo jahan bhi hoti apani sundarata aur salike ko apani jagah par bhi rach deti thi . usaki sundar abhiruchiyon, kamaniyata aur komalata ki chhap us ghar men bhi thi, jise wiwah ke bad usane basaya tha. us antim chhor se lautate ek purane sajjan adhikari se milata wah wirag ke yahan pahuncha tha . nilanjana ke ghar ka use thik-thik anuman n tha . sidhi-sadi, winayashila nilanjana ko halanki priyahari ki bibi ne ek-do bar dekha tha, wah use pasand karati thi . jinat aur wanamala se sanbandhon aur priyahari ke lagaw se wah parichit thi . sanbandhon ke daur men jab bhi apani bibi ke sanskarahin wichitr swabhaw se berukh priyahari any manask aur udas hota, jab bhi priyaon se batachit ya lagaw ke lakshan ya praman usaki bibi tohati, achanak usamen ek gunagunati gayika prakat ho jati . 'didi tera dewar diwana, hay ram chidiyon ko dale dana' ya fir 'bhoola nahin dena ji, bhoola nahin dena, jamana kharab hai, daga nahin dena' ki gale men bhi fansi besuri ter se priyahari waise maukon par bibi ki eershya, usake sandeh aur tanon ko khoob pad sakata tha . wirag ke yahan se lautate sham dhal rahi thi . chitt men nilanjana bhi thi aur wanamala bhi . wanamala ki rah par sankoch men padata bhi wah khinch chala tha . usaka ghar bhi priyahari ke apane ghar ki tarah ast-wyast aur jhanjhaton ki chhaya se ghira huaa karata tha . priyahari ki bibi ke man ka gubar jaise priyahari ke man tak dhansata samooche watarawan ko khijha jata tha, waise hi wanamala ke ghar bhi ajib tarah ke pashopesh aur sankoch ki chhaya usaki ast-wyastata men pasari hoti thi . bangaliyon ke pooja-parw ka wah ek din bhi waisa hi tha . nim-andhere men pati-patni ke anamel se upaja ubaoo ullasahinata ka watawaran wahan priyahari aur usaki patni ka swagat kar raha tha . aadhi

khushi aur aadhe gam ki muskanen wahan thin . jaise unake pahunchane ne wanamala aur usake pati ko rok liya ho, we sankoch men sath baithe . rasagulle aur namakin 'na-na' karate bhi we bajar se le aaye gaye the . bibi ki upasthiti men sab kuchh padati bhi aankhen us sab ko juban nahin de pa rahi thi, jo priyahari ke dil men tha . apane mistar ki chhaya men wanamala ki halat bhi waisi hi thi . aupacharik baten hi hueen, siway un sanwadon ke jo priyahari ki bibi aur wanamala ke patidew ki maujoodagi ke bawajood aur usaki aad men wanamala aur priyahari ke bich ek-doosare ki tarif men chale . wanamala aise un palon men khush huee jinamen n jane priyahari ki bibi aur rakib ke manon men kya chal raha hoga . un palon men jaise we donon baton men sharik hokar bhi anupasthit the . chalate-chalate priyahari ki bibi boli- ''nilanjana ke ghar bhi ho aate na . yahin-kahin to hoga .'' priyahari ne wanamala ki or dekha . usase kaha- ''chaliye n aap bhi sath . ham logon ne to ghar dekha nahin hai .'' wanamala ke kanon ke liye nilanjana ka nam zahar tha . wanamala ka mood gadabada gaya tha . usane turant ne tala- ''usaka ghar to bahut door hai . ham logon ko bhi dhoondana padega . main to wahan kabhi gaee nahin . aap log chahen to ho aaiye .'' aurat bhala kyon chahegi ki usaka chaheta usake kisi aur rakib ke dar ka thikana usase poochhe ? priyahari buddhu tha . sahaj man se wah wanamala se tab poochh to gaya tha, lekin bad men is bhool ka ahasas use huaa ki wanamala khud use kitana aur kis tarah chahati thi yah wanamala hi jane, lekin yah tay tha ki apane chahane wale ko kisi gair ki jholi men dalane wah taiyar n thi. priyahari ne gaur kiya to paya ki usake muaamale men sach bhi wahi tha . usaki premika usake ghar aaye aur usake rakib ka thikana poochhati milane chali jaye - kya priyahari ko wah bhata ? us roj nilanjana root se bahar ho gaee thi, lekin is charcha ka jikr bad men nilanjana se priyahari kar baitha tha . udhar wanamala thi ki us prasang ke bad nilanjana aur priyahari ko sath pa apane aapako naraj aur priyahari se kati dikhane utaru ho gaee thi .

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ghar banam makan
aadami sari duniya ko jit sakata hai apane ghar ko nahin ****************** Marriage is a romance in which the Hero dies in the first chapter. - Laurence J Peter

***************** wanamala ghar men trast thi aur priyahari ghar se bejara. wanamala ko priyahari hamesha usake andar chhipi pratibha aur gunon ki tarif karata protsahit karata tha. likhane, rachane, pi.yecha.di. karane, sangit sikhane kahata tha. ek se ek yojanayen priyahari banata tha lekin aankaksha men un sabako swapnon ki tarah samete wah kaha karati thi ki aap to yah sab kahate hai, lekin mere mistar nahin chahate ki main kuchh karoon we to thodi si der ho jane par jawab-talab karate hai ki der kyon huee ? wah priyahari se kahati ki aap mere liye wyarth sochate hain. main pi.-yecha.di. nahin kar sakati. mere mistar ko isamen koee dilachaspi nahin. mujhe lekar hamesha we sh k karate hai. unaka bas chale to kah den ki ghar se bahar hi n nikalo. wah kah rahi thi - ''mujhe kitani takalifen hai yah main janati hoon. aap kya samajhate hai ? aap jab meri tarif karate hai to kya unhen achchha lagata hoga ? aapaka

khayal galat hai aap ke munh se meri tarif unhen buri lagati hai. band kar dijiye sochana mere bare men main kuchh nahin kar sakati. idhar priyahari ka hal bhi kuchh waisa hi tha. apani ardhangini se usake liye koee prerana nahin thi. donon ke wyaktitwa, ruchiyan aur sanskar jamin aur aasaman ki tarah ki doori ke the. priyahari aksar sochata ulajhakar rah jata ki wah mahaj sanyog tha ya niyati ka karj jise chukane wah is stri se juda tha. is tarah wanamala aur priyahari ka milan tras aur bejari ke do dilon ka milan tha. priyahari wanamala men apani rahat dhoodhanta tha aur wanamala priyahari men apani aakankshon ke swapn dekhati tarasati thi. priyahari aksar socha karata ki swapn usane bhi ghar banane ke hi kabhi dekhe the, lekin we mahaj chintaon ki udas chaharadiwari men kaid hokar rah gaye the. kismat ka lekha bhi ajib hota hai. chahate aap kuchh aur hain aur hota kuchh aur hai. n jane kitani jagah bhatak kar priyahari ne kitani ladakiyan dekhi thin lekin jakar takaraya wah soma se, jo usaki patni bani. jald hi priyahari ko yah aabhas ho gaya tha ki sundar sharir men wah ek pranahin man thi. nibahane ke tab bhi bahut prayas usane kiye lekin wah asafal raha. ghar aur pariwar ke usake sare sapane chakanachoor ho chale the. jindagi usake liye yah ahasas banakar rahi aaee ki wah ajanabiyon ke bich ek aise makan ka kaidi hai, jisane use kewal apana karj utarane ko bandhak bana kar rakha gaya hai. aadami sari duniya ko jit sakata hai lekin apane ghar ko kabhi nahin. wiwah ke bad theः de dinon men hi yah ujagar ho gaya tha ki soma ke pas mahaj kahane ko snatakottar ki ek digri to hai, magar tisare darje ki wah digri bhi baraye nam hi hai. apane wishay ka n to ratti bhar jnyan use tha ,aur n usamen usaki koee dilachaspi thi. aade–tedhe aksharon ke sath apane dastakhat bhi wah prayatnapoorwak hi bana pati thi. priyahari ka khayal tha ki samany prshthabhoomi ki gharelu ladaki hone ke lihaj se wah ghar ko sajane–sanwarane men dilachaspi dikhayegi, lekin wah bhram bhi toot chala tha. nihayat bojh ki tarah ghar ki dinacharya ke samany kam soma nibatati thi, aur waisa karate bhi chehare par wahakhijhase bhari hoti. priyahari bhi behad sangharshon ke bich pala tha. ghar men jhadu lagane, choolha jalane, roj lalaten ki kanch ko rakh se manjakar chamakane, kapade dhone aur khana banane, mitti kheः dane aur kulhadi chalate lakadi chirane tak ke sanskar use bachapan se hi mile the. usake liye ye sanskar adhyayan aurashikshake sanskaron ke ang jaise hi the. use sangharshon se bhara wah bachapan yad aata jab aatha–nau sal ki umar se hi ghar se bahar rahate aashram ki wyawastha men apane ham-umr bachchon ke sath padhaee karate use niyat sarani ke dinon men apani tim ke sath dasa–barah sathiyon ki rasoee sanbhalani hoti. use aashram ki hare–bhare wrkshon, padapon aur lataon se saji wah wishal watika yad aati jise sanwarane men apane sahapathiyon ke sath wah ghanton mihanat kiya karata tha. use in sab men bhi utana hi aanand milata jitana us nanhi umar men akhabaron, patra–patrikaon aur sahity ke anupam granthon ko padhane aur kapade ki gend ko haki ya futabal ki gend banakar apane sathiyon ke sath maich khelane men milata tha. tab apana saman lade man ki mauj men sata–aath mil ka rasta tay karake aasapas ke mausami melon ya wananchalon men pikanik manana usake liye manon aamod ka bhawy aayojan huaa karata tha. samajik aayojanon, sanskrtik paranparaon aur desha–duniya ki jatilataon ko gaharaee tak jakar samajhane men priyahari ki ruchi thi. sage–sanbandhiyon, bujurgon aur widwanon ka aadar karana usake pariwarik sanskaron men tha. samajika–pariwarik aayojanon men usake ghar ke sadasy sashram sahabhagi hote aur isake liye unhenprashansaaur samman ke sath yad kiya jata tha. apane sanskarik anubhawon par priyahari ko garw tha. wah usaka swabhiman tha. suwidha– sanpannata ki sanskrti se use bichak nahin thi, lekin shram aur sangharsh ki sanskrti ke prati kathit bhadra–warg ki upeksha aur alagaw ki manowrtti use napasand thi. shayad yahi karan tha ki waisi sanskrti ke abhyast aur poshak sahachar aur sahachariyon ke nikat aane par bhi unase ek manasik doori usamen pray: bani rahi. apane inhin sanskaron men wah apane ghar ko bhi dekhane ke sapane dekhata tha.

sochane aur hone men bahut fark hota hai. bahut jald usane jan liya ki soma ghar ke mahaj dainandin kam basakisi tarah nibata jane aur shayan-sukh men mashinaki tarah bichhaee ja sakane wali mashin jitani hi achchhi ho sakati thi. lagaw ya abhiroochi jaisi koee chij usake swabhaw men hi nahin thi. yah maloom huaa ki tisare darje ki usaki digri thi aur kagaja–kalam se usaka nata bas kisi tarah us digri ko hasil karane tak hi tha. apani anuroopata men dhalane priyahari ne use utsahit karana chaha tha ki wah aage aur padh le aur widushi bane, lekin jabab tha ki waisa karana ab usake liye sanbhaw nahin. use usamen n roochi hai aur n usaka koee kama. jaisa sadharan ladakiyan amooman huaa karati hai shadi hi makasad tha. makasad poora ho chala tha aur ab use karana hi kya tha? tin ke pariwar men pati aur patni ke bich priyahari ki man boodhi sadasya thi. wah bhor huye uth jati thi aur din bhar kuchh n kuchh karati apane ko wyast aur ghar ko wyawasthit rakha karati thi. soma ki juban usake ghunnepan ke karan hilane men aalas karati thi. din bhar men priyahari se tallukat men juban se robot ki tarah yantrachalit sankshipt shabdon ka ek kanjoos samooh nikalata aur sanbandh ki bas wahi nishanihuaa karati thi. priyahari ki amma us robo ke liye aaranbh se awanchhit tisara jiw rahi aaee. priyahari ke liye yadi use shabd hote –’’ khana nikal doon kya ? ’’, to amma ke muaamale men yah hota ki priyahari ke kha–chukane ke bad ek sankshipt si thali ni:shabd lakar samane rakh di jati thi. n to dobara usase jaroorat poochhane soma ka saujany hota aur n to man ki himmat hoti ki wah soma se kah sake. yah dekhate priyahari ko bura lagata. wah chahata tha ki soma aatmiyata se peshaaaye, lekin jawab men ghoorati huee usaki upeksha-bhari drshti se wah takarata. soma se kuchh kahana khijh bhari badabadahat ko dawat dena hota tha. galati se kabhi man ko aur zaroorat ke liye poochh lene ki sankoch-bhari salah patni ko dene ka dussahas bhi priyahari ko mahanga padata tha. chikhati huee kadawi juban fauran ulatakar hamala karati – “ tum chupachap apani thali dekho. tumhare kahe bina we bhookhi mari ja rahi hain kya ?” wyawastha par soma ka aisa aadhipaty ho gaya tha ki sas ki haisiyat bechari ki ho chali thi. soma usase yoon peshaaati jaise dayawash hi priyahari ke yahan wah aashrit rahi aaee ho. priyahari ko pahale wakaye se hi isaka aabhas ho chala tha ki soma par lagam lagana kalah ko dawat dena tha. wah din aaj bhi usaki smrtiyon men jiwit hai. dopahar bad ke karib char baje ka samay raha hoga. man ne priyahari se ichchha jataee ki ek kap chay mil jati to achchha tha. man chahati to khud bhi chay bana sakati thi lekin bahu ka wyawahar use rokata tha. apani ichchha ke wiruddh kisi bhi chij men doosare ka hath lagana patni ko pasand n tha. priyahari ne soma ko jagaya ki char baj chale hai. ab wah uth jaye aur chay bana le. bajay waisa karane ke soma ne narajagi se badabadana shurookar diya tha – ’’ in man-bete ke karan sona bhi mushkil ho gaya hai. abhi to kuchh der pahale khana khaya hai aur itani jaldi chay ki pad gaee. ’’ priyahari ne danta to wah ladane par utaru ho gaee. ’’ kya samajh rakh hai tum man–bete ne ki mujhe daba loge ? bhool men mat rahana. bataye deti hoon ki mujhe kam n samajhana. mujhase ulajhoge to thik n hoga. ’’ priyahari ke bhaee, bahana, ya rishtedarakabhi bhoole–bhatake aa jate ya bahar kahin mil jate to wah unhen chahate huye bhi apane yahan bulane se katarata. soma men itana bhi saujany n tha ki wah aatmiyata se unase peshaaati . apanape ka aabhas to door raha yadi priyahari unake liye chaya–way ka intajam karane ki bat bhi karata to andar jakar usapar muh banati wah turant apani khijh utarati – “ tum kyon falatu tokate rahate ho ? tum apana kam kiya karo. mera kam main janati hoon. abhi–abhi to aaye hain. baithane do abhi. tumako kya jaroorat hai bich men aane ki . tum chupachap munh band kiye baitha karo. main janati hoon ki mujhako kya karana hai ? hamako bhi kya us tarah koee poochhata hai jaisa tum unake liye mare jate ho ? ’’ pariwar men eka–doosare ke yahan aane–jane, milane–baithane, khane–khilane ki bat nikalati to sunane se pahale hi soma ka munh banana shurooho jata – ’’ rahane do. doosaron ke pichhe hamen paise kharch karane ki jaroorat kya hai ? mere bharose mat rahana. karega kaun wah sab ?”

ghar yani eenta–gare ki aisi prayogashala jahan parinam ki mahaj beummidi thi. bibi mahaj aisa robota, jisamen apanepan aur bhawanatmak lagaw ki kalpana bhi wyarth thi. makan usase ghar to banata n tha lekin ghar ka bhram dete use dhake rakhane ka yah robot ek duniyabi yantr tha. jyada se jyada yah tha ki apana miyadi bukhar utarane beman faili tangon ke bich ki kasarat ke liye jaba–tab use kam men laya ja sakata tha. priyahari ke pas isake alawa koee chara n tha ki wah is jakadanase bhagata fire. usake liye ghar ka sukh ab un sanbandhon aur lamhon men hi tha jahan usake saman hi bhagati sapanili aankhen priyahari men apanapa dekhati takara jaya karati thin.

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sari chitthiyan tukade-tukade jo toote huye dil ki thin
''laiye, mere liye jo bhi laye hai, de dijiye. main bad men dekh loongi. andar mujhe dekh rahe hogen. sochenge ki itani der wah bahar kya kar rahi hai'' :

pashchim bangal ke ek mahatwapoorn sammelan men priyahari ko kalakatta jana tha. wanamala usake liye aatmiya, ghar jaisi, gharani jaisi thi. donon bat karate to yoon sahaj ghulakar jaise barason ka nata ho. aisi adhikar-bhawana paraspar thi ki jaise pati aur patni ke bich ho. priyahari ne wanamala se poochha tha - ''tumhare liye kya lana hai ?'' agar mil jaye to khoobasoorat sa ek pars le aane ki bat wanamala ne kahi thi. sammelan ki baithakon, jalason ke bad bajar ghoom-ghamakar chaurangi se aage nyu market ko chhanate priyahari ne waisa hi ek pars apani priya wanamala ke liye kharid liya. kalakatte men bhi din-rat har pal dil ko chain dene wali wanamala ki mukhade ki chhawi, usaki yaden priyahari ke sath rahatin. un dinon wahan wishw pustak mela bhi laga tha, lekin wahan jane ka mauka dekhate khabar aaee ki pandalon men aag lagane ki durghatana ghat gaee thi. priyahari lauta to besabri se wanamala se mulakat ki pratiksha men raha. aamana-samana hota bhi to aisi chahal-pahal rahati ki aalamari men rakha bada pars sab ke rahate nikalana hi sanbhaw n tha. ek-do roj bad ekant ke kshanon men wanamala se priyahari ki aankhen char huee. priyahari ne baig nikala aur wanamala ke samane rakh diya. ' kaisa hai ?' - priyahari poochh raha tha. 'khoobasoorat lag raha hai. khol kar bataiye na' - wanamala ne jawab diya. priyahari ne kholane ki koshish ki fir kaha ki mujhase banata nahin, samajh nahin aa raha hai, tum hi dekho. wanamala ne use khola, andar-bahar dekha aur khush ho gaee boli ''sachamuch bahut khubasoorat hai. dhanyawada, aap mera kitana khayal rakhate hai. meri itani fikr to mere mistar bhi nahin karate.'' priyahari ne wanamala ko bataya ki kis tarah kalakatte men bhi use aankhon men basaye din-rat wah yad karata raha tha. isase pahale ki un donon ke bich koee aata, priyahari ki hidayat ke mutabik andar ka sara kagaj-pattar fenk baig ko modakar wanamala ne apane purane baig men thoons diya. fir achanak pashopesh bhari aankhon se wah boli -''le to ja rahi hoon. magar dekhen ? mere mistar poochhenge to main kya jawab doongi ?'' priyahari ne sujhaya - ''kah dena ki tumane paise diye the, mangaya to main le aaya.''

char din bad jab fir ekant men donon aamane-samane huye to priyahari ki priya ne chupachap wahi pars apane kapabord se nikala aur usake samane rakh diya. wanamala ka chehara wishad se murajhaya huaa tha aur aankhon men udasi thi. wah boli – “ise aap rakh lijiye ghar men kam aa jayega. mere mistar ko is par aapatti hai ki main ise rakhoon.'' priyahari ne wanamala ki mayoos aankhon men jhanka aur apaman ki us pida ko pad liya jo use ghar se mili thi. wanamala ne kaha hoga to mistar ne sandeh kiya hoga aur fir jamakar takarar huee hogi. priyahari ko bada dhakka laga. wanamala ki udasi ke sadame se priyahari ka dil bhi mayoos aur udas ho gaya. donon ke dil toot gaye the. udasa, najaren jhukaye wanamala chupachap chali gaee thi. aisi durghatanaon ke sanyog wanamala ke chitt ko awasad se bhar dete the - is kadar ki fir chand roj usaki dinacharya anyamasy chuppi aur ghanaghor udasi men bitati. usaki aankhon men shoony bhar jata. maun wah samane rahati, dekhati aur chali jati jaise priyahari se usaka koee nata n ho. idhar wahi awasad priyahari men aur adhik besabri aur betabi bhar deta tha. usaki ichchha hoti ki wah wanamala ke najadik jaye, usaki pida ko samajhe, usase baten kare, usake chitt ko bahalaye aur use khush kare. yah janate huye bhi ki wanamala ke ghar jana musibaton ko aur badana hai, yantrachalit priyahari ka man usake kadamon ko wanamala ki ghar ki rah par mod deta tha. baton ke dauran sanketon se hi wah anuman laga leta tha ki wah mauka kab hoga jab wanamala ke ghar donon ke bich badha n hogi. ek saptah bad us dopahar jab gaya to ghar men tala pada tha. doosare din jana ki wanamala bimar ho gayi thi. usake mistar use aspatal le gaye the. yoon ek saptah aur bitachala tha . is bar wanamala ke mistar ki rat ki dyooti yani sham chhaः se rat do baje tak ki furasat ka anuman lagata priyahari sham ko usake ghar ja pahuncha. sachamuch wanamala ke patidew nahin the. usane darawaja khola, udas muskurahat se priyahari ko aankh bhar nihara aur andar bithaya. koee mehaman wahan pahale se maujood tha. wanamala ne hi parichay karaya. we usake bade bhaee sahab the . idhar-udhar ki baten hoti rahin - ghar ki daftar ki, bhawishy ki, usake bhaee sahab se parichay ki - lekin dher si baton ke bawajood wah nahin, jo ek-doosare se takarati lachar betabi bhari aankhon aur dilon men chhipa tha. haya, yah kaisi lachari thi ki kalej men shodhi drshtiyon ka bhay huaa karata aur yahan ?- ek to pahunchana dushkara, aur pahunch bhi gaye to usake mistar ke hone aur khijhane ki aashanka. we n huye to mehamana. we bhi nahin to bade hote bachche priyahari aur wanamala ke bich men aa padate. anyamanask wanamala bhi, anyamanask priyahari bhi. baton ki koee gunjaish n thi. priyahari ka man masos raha tha ki kash apane dil ki batten wah wanamala se kah pata. jab-tab kanakhiyon se wah use nihar leta. chharahari, sanwali, nichudi huee kaya aur kamajor lag rahi thi. rang uda huaa jaisi thaki huee ho. chehare se chamak gayab thi. wanamala ne sadi nahin pahani thi jo us par jyada fabati thi. salawar-kurti bhi nahin, mahaj ujade rang ka purana sliping gaun jisake andar shayad choli hi nahin thi. halka dhila ubhar priyahari ko dikhaee pad raha tha. han, yahi to wah chhabi thi jise wah chahata tha. usaka man wanamala ki upasthiti ko yoon mahasoos karata jaise wah usaki priya nahin apitu sadiyon se sath gujarati usaki gharawali ho. priyahari wanamala ke ujade huye rang para, usaki kamajor kaya par bhi fida tha. usane chaha ki wanamala se lipat jaye, use choome aur poochhe ki batao, tum itani kamajor lag rahi ho ? kahe ki chinta n karo, main aa gaya hoon. wah kamajori bejar dil se sahe gaye bistar ki ho sakati thi. kitana achchha hota ki khushanuma dil se ek-doosare ki chahat ke sath us bistar para, us takhat par wanamala aur priyahari donon ki kamanayen ek-doosare se gunthi machal rahi hotin, jo unake samane hi wahin bichha tha . priyahari ko laga ki tab shayad wanamala ki wah kamajori turant door ho jati. wanamala ki udi huee rangat usi kshan lautakar usake chehare men gulabi ho jati.

tab us tarah awasad ki gufa se nikal priyahari aur usaki priya wanamala aasaman ki sair men hote. chahat ki betabi men aadha ghanta bit gaya lekin kahin koee mauka n tha. priyahari chalane ko huaa to bhaee ko andar baitha hi chhod wanamala bahar sadak tak use chhodane aaee. rat ho chali thi. bahar bijali ki roshani door thi. usake ghar ke samane jhitaputa andhera tha jo pedon ki ghani chhaya se aur bhi gahara ho gaya tha. priyahari ne kaha ''wanamala, tumase baten karana bhi shayad bhagy men nahin likha hai. tumhen maloom nahin ki tumane mujhe kitani pida pahunchaee hai.'' wanamala ne dabi aawaj men kaha - ''yahan jyada bat karane ka awasar nahin hai. laiye, mere liye jo bhi laye hai, de dijiye. main bad men dekh loongi. andar mujhe dekh rahe hogen. sochenge ki itani der wah bahar kya kar rahi hai.'' priyahari ke apane baig men wahi pars tha. wahi, jise mayoosi ke karan usane kat kar pachason tukadon men badal diya tha. dher sari chitiःthayan thi. sari chitiःthayan tukade-tukade jo toote huye dil ki thin. wanamala ka ishara tha ki wah unhen fursat se pad legi lekin priyahari ne to sare patr fad dale the. usane wanamala se kaha ''ab kya kahoon. tumane pahale to aswikar kar diya. mainne bhi socha ki agar yah tumhare liye nahin, to kisi ke liye bhi nahin. wahin tukade tumhen saunpane aaya hoon.'' priyahari ne sare tukade wahin ped ke niche chhaye kachare aur pattiyon ke dher par bikher diye. wanamala boli - ''aisa aapane kyon kiya.'' ek-doosare se dilase ki do-char baten huee. wanamala se bida lekar priyahari laut chala. bad ke din yoon hi gujarate rahe. wanamala ka mood priyahari ki samajh men nahin aata tha. bahut dinon tak wah usase khinchin -khinchin rahi. aankhon men patharaee udasi aur shayad priyahari ko prashnit karati shikayata. wanamala ke mistar chahe us din ghar par nahin the tab bhi priyahari ke wahan jane, baithane, milane ki bat to maloom ho hi gaee hogi . wanamala ke is rawaiye ke pichhe aakankshaon aur wiwashataon ke sangharsh ka tras raha hoga. priyahari pad raha tha ki donon ke bich wiwashataon ke sath bane rahane ka paksh kanooni tha. usaki niyati to wahi priyatamapura. ke sektar aath tak jane wali sadak aur usaki unnisawin strit men eent-garon se chak-chauband chhaः -ye ki diwaren thi. priyahari ki chahat wanamala ki musibat thi. wah isha ron men kah bhi jati thi - ''kuchh nahin ho sakata. bhagy ko swikar lo.'' yah wahi bhagy tha priyahari ne chaha tha ki wah wanamala se baten kare lekin wah saf mana kar us ekant se nikal bhagati thi jo yadakada donon ko muhayya hota tha. donon ke bich lachari, udasi aur bolata huaa anabolapan sthayi roop se bas chale the. wanamala khijhati, roothati, jhagadati, anaboli rahati aur achanak aankhon men aansu sari lachariyan tod priyahari ke satha, priyahari ke pas toot kar bikhar jaya karati thi.

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fir bhi aurat ki jat men hi wanamala bhi thi
priyahari ko aisa sandeh tha ki wanamala ka trast man shayad khijh men kabhi-kabhi doosari sanginiyon par khul jata ho . aisa nahin ki in doosaron se usaka apanapa ho . apanapa to jo priyahari se tha wah kabhi toot n sakata tha . wah khud ise mahasoos karati, swikarati thi . wah bhi priyahari ki tarah garwita aur ekantik swabhaw ki thi . kaha karati- ''main in sab jaisi nahin ho sakati, inase mujhe nafarat hai . meri inase nahin patati'' ......... wagairah . fir bhi aurat ki jat men hi wanamala bhi thi . mardon ki tulana men auraton ke sath ka sahara lena usaki bhi swabhawik majaboori thi .

priyahari aur wanamala ki nikatata is daramyan logon ki nigahon men chad gayi thi . sal bitate jab fir pariksha ka daur aaya, to jan-boojhakar is bar wanamala ko subah aur priyahari ko sham ke wakt tainat kiya gaya tha taki inake bich milane to kya dekha-dekhi ki bhi sanbhawana n rahe . aise hi mahaul men kisi din wanamala gamagin chehara liye pariksha ki taiyariyon men apane kagaj-pattar liye kam kar rahi thi . usi ki tarah khinn priyahari pas hi baitha tha . tabhi kahin se anuradha namoodar huee. gori chitti, sundar aur hamesha apani bhawyata ke liye jani jane wali angareji ki prawakta anuradha ko wanamala se dabi aawaj men priyahari ne kahata suna - ''chalo . ham logon ke pas baithana . yahan akeli mat baitho, nahin to wo fir apani baten shuru kar denge .'' wanamala anamani thi, lekin shayad us din use priyahari ke sath ke ekant ki chahat thi . yah taka sa jawab diya- ''mujhe parikshaon ka apana kam yahan karana hai, main rukoongi, aap chali jaiye .'' usane anuradha ko chalata kar diya tha . priyahari ki harakaton ko lekar wanamala ki chuhalanuma chugali par bharosa kar us din wanamala ki madad karane chali anuradha ko mayoosi ka samana karana pada . anuradha ne wismay bhari khijh se wanamala aur priyahari ko dekha, honth bichakaye aur chali gayi . aankhon ki gahari udasi, chehare ke awasad aur gahari ganbhir any-manaskata se wanamala ko n jane kyon kabhi bahar aate priyahari ne nahin dekha . us din anuradha ke jane ke bad sahaj aur samany baten donon ke bich huee . apani udasi ke bich bhi priyahari ke awasad ko thanda karane ki chahat men hi shayad wanamala bhid ke chhantane ki pratiksha karati us din dopahar bad tak ruki thi . usaki yahi adayen to priyahari ke bidakate man ko fir se bandh leti thin . wanamala ki berukhi se khinn priyahari usase baten karane ki koshish aksar mauke aane par bhi band kar deta tha . tab wanamala ki udas aankhen priyahari ko dekhati jaise samajhaya karati thin ki majabooriyon ko samajha karo, naraj kyon hote ho ? do hi din bad wanamala ko fir n jane kya huaa ki samane hokar bhi munh fulaye usane apani kursi is tarah mod li ki n priyahari usake chehare ko dekh sake aur n wanamala ki najaron ke priyahari ki najaron se milane ki gunjaish ho . priyahari aur wanamala ke bich yah ek aniwary hadasa tha, jo ghatata hi rahata tha . bhale hi wyaktitwon ke antara, priyahari ki kabiliyata,warishthata aur ganbhir swabhaw ke karan koee kahata usase n ho, stanf men niche se oopar sab ko is bat ka ehasas tha ki wanamala aur priyahari ke bich kuchh-kuchh hai . auraton men hi priyahari ke nikat ki kuchh lalanayen apawad thin jo priyahari se najadiki ke karan kabhi-kabhi chupachap chuhal se use chhed jati thin . ise wichitr sanyog kaha jaye ki purushon se priyahari ka talluk jnyan-wijnyan aur garima ki guru-ganbhir charchaon tak simit tha, lekin lalanayen lagabhag sabaki sab priyahari ke nikat aakara, baten karake use prabhawit karatin garw ka anubhaw karati thin . sanwali, ganbhira, ekantik swabhaw ki wanamala in sab ki nigah men nakachadi aur badatamij thi . aksar wanamala se priyahari ki sangat par we sab sanketon hi sanketon men malal jahir karatin aur wanamala ko kosati thin . auraton se priyahari ki baten aatmiya, niji aur chhedachhad bhari hoti thin . unamen abhadrata nahin hoti thi . kewal aankhon hi aankhon ke bich huye sanwadon aur ek aisi nijata ka sparsh hota tha ki pal bhar ke liye samane wala sammohit ho yah mahasoos karata ki priyahari ki aankhon men usake liye wah chahat hai jisaki darakar striyan man hi man kiya karati hain . parikshaon ka daur poori gahama-gahami se chal raha tha. wanamala ko dekhane usase milane priyahari ka man masos kar rah jata tha . aise men parikshaon ke bich hi use kisi kam se bhopal jana pada tha . kal hi wah lauta tha . sham ki parikshayen takariban tin baje shuroohoti thin, lekin us khas din priyahari do baje se pahale hi pahunch gaya tha . use pata laga ki agale do din adhikatar mahilayen chhutti par rahengi . priyahari ke sahayak adhikari ko bhi sanbhawataः chhutti par rahana tha . aisi halat men sham ko nirikshakon ki kami hoti . priyahari ne dyooti ka chart dekha aur gaur kiya ki wanamala un do dinon men subah ki parikshayen n hone se bilkul mukt hai . use subah ke liye sahayak adhikari banaya gaya . priyahari ne sujhaya ki kyon n un dinon wanamala ko sham ko rakh diya jaye .

satyajit aur bhola dada ne ek-doosare ki tarah arth bhari nigahon se dekha aur kaha ki- wanamala to nahin aa sakati, kyonki subah ki dyooti ke bad wah chali ja chuki hai aur use khabar bhala kaun karega . we donon doosare-doosare wikalp sujhane men lage the aur priyahari unaki tal-matol par gaur kar raha tha . priyahari ko tab isaka bilkul andesha n tha ki ab tak upeksha men alag-thalag padi wanamala ki khoobiyan aur usake prati priyahari ka khud ka chahat bhara lagaw in sajjan dikhate logon ki nigahon men bhi khatakane laga hai . use nahin maloom tha ki eershya inamen se ek ki nigah men aisa lalach bhar rahi hai, jo aage chalakar wanamala se use is tarah juda kar dene wala hai, aisi darar paida karane wala ho raha hai, jo wanamala ke sath priyahari ke sanbandhon, priyahari ki chahat ko hi grasane ja raha tha . un dinon priyahari ke sathi nalin ji hi afasar ki khursi par the . unake aane par priyahari ne unhen raji kar agali do shamon ke liye wanamala ki dyooti apane sath sham ke liye darj kara li aur usake karibi muhalle ke ek sahayak ke hathon wanamala ko khabar bhi bhijawa di . wanamala aur priyahari ke tallukat gahare the lekin aise ki priyahari ko wanamala ke mood ka khayal hi adhik rakhana hota tha. isake wiparit wanamala priyahari ke taraf se nishchint thi ki wah to usaka ho hi chuka hai. aurat-jat hone ke karan usaki anek-widh samasyayen thi. khasakar tab jabaki priyahari se lagaw wanamala ki gharu aur samajik jindagi ke liye bhari pad raha tha. priyahari ka man aashanka-grast tha. wanamala se milate usaki dhakadanen tej ho jatin. usaka man bhayabhit hota ki n jane wanamala ki sthiti, paristhiti, manaः sthiti kya hai aur usaka mood kaisa hoga. badhaon ke karan is tarah kaee din gujar jate aur priyahari ko wanamala se aamane-samane ki antarangata ke maukon ke liye taras jana hota tha.

___________________________________________________________________ ''bai gada, maine aap ke bare men usase kabhi kuchh nahin kaha hai . yahan aajakal auraton ki bhi badi rajaniti chal rahi hai .''
pichhali rat se hi priyahari ko dar tha ki kahin us tarah bulawe ki wyakhya ulti n ho. wanamala ke mijaj ke bare men kuchh nahin kaha ja sakata tha. priyahari ko aashanka huee ki wanamala us par apana prabhutw darshane, nicha dikhane, aur pareshan karane ka aarop lagaye aur chhutti n le le . dopahar do paintalis par usane wanamala ko dekha to aashchary se bharapoor ullas se usaka man thirak utha ! wanamala aaee . bilkul achchha mood . bahut dinon ke bad milane ki prachchhann khushi . pahale-pahal wanamala ke sanbhawit mood ke bare men priyahari ne jo-jo soch rakha tha, use haःnsate huye usane bataya . wanamala ne hansakar kaha- ''mujhe koee pareshani nahin . ek bar aana tha, so abhi aa gaee . lekin aashchary is bat ka hai ki nalinaji ne ye wikshan ki soochana bheji kaise ? kyonki aap ki sham ki pali men hi to bataur adhikar main aap ke sath sahayak adhikshak hoon. ab aap bataiye ki sahayak adhikshak apani hi dyooti men kya wikshan karega ? tay kijiye ?'' ab chaunkane ki bari priyahari ki thi . use yah bat maloom nahin thi . n kabhi wanamala ne is wakt usake sath sahayak adhikari ki dyooti ki thi . usane kaha-'' are ! yah bat to mujhe bhi nahin maloom tab to aap ko yahin rakhana tha . ye to galat bat hai . aai wil rez dis maitar wid nalin ji.'' priyahari ke shabdon ke pichhe chhipi mansha ko wanamala ne bhali-bhannti samajh liya . wah subah ki jagah sham priyahari ke sath rahana hi rahana chahati thi .

wanamala ne kaha- ''aap ko maloom nahin ?'' hansakar tana deti huee wah boli – '' mainne to samajha tha ki aapane hi mujhe apani jagah se talane ke liye kahakar subah ki pali men bhijawaya hai . aap tisari pali ke adhikshak hain aur aapako yah bat maloom honi chahiye thi . '' '' are thik isake ulte main samajhata raha ki tumane mujhe awaid karane subah ki pali mangi hai. maine to samajha ki prashasan ke nikat rahakar mujhe jalane ke liye hi khasataur par tumane subah ke sath dopahar ki pali bhi chuni hai '' - priyahari ne jawab diya . '' mujhase poochha kisane ? bas laga diya . meri majaboori thi . main karati bhi kya ? '' wanamala ne priyahari se kaha- '' ab aap kahiye unase ki sham ki pali men mera nam hai, to subahsubah we mujhe kyon bula rahe hain ? waise bhi subah ki pali men pareshani hai . pannch-panncha, chhaः -chhaः log aate nahin . karyalay ka aadami bhi dyooti par chala jata hai . mujh par tane kase jate hain ki inhin men badi yogyata hai, jo do-do paliyon men sahayak parikshadhikari bani baithi hain, wagairah . ye sab mahilaon ki rajaniti hai . '' '' wanamala tum kyon nahin kahati ho unase ? tum kaho unase aur main bhi kahoonga . '' jawab men wanamala boli -'' mere kahane se kuchh hota nahin . ulte galat arth nikala jayega . '' sara majara priyahari ki samajh men aa gaya tha. yah shararat eershya men grast bholaram ki thi . awashy usi ne bade sahab ke kan foonkate wanamala ko priyahari se juda rakhane ki tarakib nikali thi. priyahari ne wanamala ko ummid dilaee. ''thik hai main hi koshish karoonga ''- usane kaha. sath baithe priyahari aur wanamala ka sara wakt pyar men ek doosare se berukhaee ki shikayaton aur manuharon men kata . wanamala ko apane anek sh tru hone ki shikayat thi. wanamala ki shikayat thi ki priyahari bhi usaka dhyan nahin rakhata hai. waisi hi shikayaten wiparit dhruw par wanamala se priyahari ki bhi thin . is milan se donon ke bich ki galatafahamiyann door hueen . we donon hi bahut prasann the . tin ghante ka samay kaise gujara isaka pata hi us din n chal paya tha. priyahari ke tifin ki do pooriyan aaj wanamala aur nilanjana sahit tin ne khayi . nashta huaa, chay chali . prachchhann aaroppratyaropa, upalanbh chale . aaj tisari nilanjan thi, jo priyahari aur wanamala ke ek ho jane par sankoch men sahami, sakuchi rahi aur bakayada priyahari ki sahayak adhikari hone ke bawajood in donon ko wahan chhod nirikshan men bhi jati rahi . aaj apani-apani jagah se n priyahari hila aur n wanamala hili . sham hote-hote bholababu saunpa gaya apana sarakari kam poora kar lautate huye aa pahunche the. wanamala aur bholababu ek hi ilake ke basinda the. suwidha ki drshtise maine wanamala ko samay se kuchh pahale hi bhola ke sath bhej diya . kal se hi priyahari ko kuchh andesha hone laga tha . anubhaw batata hai ki wanamala ke sath sanbandhon men ek din ki udan doosare din khaee ban jati hai . wahi huaa . subah fon par priyahari ne bholababu se anurodh kiya tha ki pariksha-dyooti sanbandhi wyaktigat bat prachary se karake we aadesh thik karayen aur wanamala ko sham usake sath rakhen . bat bahut aupacharik hi thi . dopahar pata laga ki maujooda sthiti ko yathawat pusht karake fir unhen aadesh saunp diya jayega. badakismati ki priyahari aur wanamala ko waisi hi doori par rahana tha . doosare din fir sath hone par priyahari ne wanamala ko sujhaya ki nalinaji se apane subah ke jhagadon ki bat batakar tumhin pradhanaji se aagrah karo ki we tumhen unaki jagah mere sath rakhen. wanamala ne udas bhaw se kaha- '' main nahin kah sakati . mujhe maloom hai ki hona-jana kuchh nahin hai . fir pariwarik suwidha ki drshti se to subah hi thik hai . rahane dijiye .'' priyahari ne wanamala par najar dali . aankhon aur chehare ke udas bhaw se pata lag raha tha ki bade sahab se n kahane ka karan pahala hi tha doosara nahin . mainne bat samajhi aur kaha ki tum thik kahati ho . hoga kuchh nahin ulte apani hansi udegi . wanamala ne meri aashanka ki pushti ki . kal ka jo ullas tha, wah aaj kewal samipy ka hardya tha . chehare aur aankhon par wiwash ta aur udasi wahan bhi thi, aur yahan bhi . priyahari ne usaki or dekhakar kaha-''wanamala, aadami sochata kuchh aur hai, hota kuchh aur hai .'' wanamala ke andar kewal ek lachar shoony tha . donon ka wah din udasi men hi kata .

wanamala ne kaha- '' mainne kaha tha n ! yahan kuchh n hoga . aap bekar duः khi hote hain . meri salah maniye, bholababu ki tarah ho jaiye . sukhi rahenge .'' nilanjana se mukhatib hate priyahari ne kaha aur wanamala ko sunaya . '' apane bahut karibi mitron se bhi jab main yah sunata hoon, to mujhe bada dhakka laga bhi . kya sachamuch wanamala ko bhi yahi sab prabhawit karata hai ? aise sade wichar ?'' wanamala ne fir kaha- '' aap ko lagata hai ki kewal yahan hi aisa mahaul hai ? aise hi afasar ho rahe hain aur aise hi chatukar raj kar rahe hain . '' priyahari stabdh aur udas ho aaya . donon men se kisi ne kuchh n kaha . sham dhalate wanamala ne priyahari se aajnya li aur wapas jane taiyar ho gayi . is wakt kamara bilkul soona tha . nilanjana bhandar ke saman ki janch ke bahane kahin aur chali gayi thi . babu aur any sewak shayad jan-boojhakar hi bahar kahin chay aadi ko chale gaye the . priyahari ne wanamala ko aawaj dekar toka- ''suno, apani shikayat kahane, mujhe tana dene tumhe anuradha ki jaroorat us din kyon padi wanamala ? kya tumane use apana salahakar bana rakha hai ? wanamala ne kaha- ''nahin, aap ko galatafahami hai. mainne kabhi kisi se kuchh nahin kaha hai .'' priyahari ne use yad dilaya- ''us din soone staf room men jab sari mahilayen sadi rangane aur dekhane ja rahi thin, tab tumhen pariksha samagri ke sath aur mujhe wahan akela pakar anuradha ne fusafusakar tumase kya yah nahin kaha tha ki chalo yahan se, nahin to ye fir se apani shurookar denge .'' wanamala ne apana gala chhookar kaha- ''bai gada, mainne aap ke bare men usase kabhi kuchh nahin kaha hai . anuradha ka sanket shayad mahilaon ki rajaniti ki or raha hoga . aap janate nahin yahan aajakal auraton ki bhi badi rajaniti chal rahi hai .'' wanamala ke 'bai-gada' kahane ne priyahari men wishwas awashy jagaya. par tab bhi wah tay n kar paya ki usaki bat kitani wishwasaniy hai . priyahari ne kewal itana hi kaha- ''wanamala, main tumhara aisa hi hansata huaa chehara hamesha dekhana chahata hoon . meri shikayat to tum khud mujhase kar sakati ho . mujh par tumhara poora adhikar hai . hamare bich tisare kisi ko kyon aana chahiye ?'' wanamala ne jawab diya- ''aap sach maniye, mainne kabhi kisi se kuchh n kaha hai. aap to bas fir wahi shikayat le baithe .'' aisa kahati khilakhilati huee wapas jane apana baig uthaye wanamala darawaje se bahar ho gaee . is sath ke sukh ne wanamala ke liye priyahari ki pyas ko aur bada diya tha. juda hoti wanamala ke pichhe daudata usaka adhir man gunaguna raha tha - '' abhi n jao chhodakar abhi to man bhara nahin -''. ek hafte bad fir wanamala ke sath hone ki yukti priyahari ne nikali . huaa yoon ki pariksha men nirikshak kam padate the aur lagatar chhaः -chhaः ghante dyooti lagane se doosare nirikshak shikayat karate the . priyahari ne chaturaee se sujhaya tha ki pariksha adhikari bhi aakhir jarooraton par aisi d yooti kyon n karen . do parikshadhikariyon satyajit aur bhola babu ne waisa karane men anamanapan dikhaya . waisa karana we apani shan ke khilaf manate the. unase alag ho priyahari ne apane ko hajir kar diya tha . wanamala to sahayak adhikari thi hi. use to pahale se aisi dyootiyan karani hoti thin . bhola dada bade sahab ke karib huaa karate the. unase priyahari ne aagrahapoorwak yah shart rakhi thi ki usako nirikshan men lagate we adhikari ke sath adhikari ya sahayak adhikari ki dyooti hi we lagayen taki matahaton ke sath kam karate atapata n lage aur wah awamanit n mahasoos kare . wanamala ki dyooti bhi un tarikhon par lagani hi thi . un aane wale do dinon ke liye usane wanamala ko apane sath rakhane ki pesakash bhola dada se ki thi . dekhane men yah usaki chalaki thi, lekin aisa lagata tha ki us chalaki ki moorkhata auron ne pakad li thi . bhola dada ko to aabhas ho hi gaya tha . bhola dada ne waisa kar bhi diya lekin bahut jald priyahari ko isaka ahasas ho gaya ki waisa karana shayad usaki khud ki moorkhata thi . wah un halaton ko lekar soch men tha jinase gujarata wah anirdisht ki or bad raha tha.

__________________________________________________________________

wanamala ke hothon par aadhe inch ki muskan ko dekhana durlabh najara tha, jise saubhagy ke waise hi durlabh kshanon men dekha ja sakata tha .

main sochata hoon ki jindagi bhi kitani ajib hai . saral aur sidhi rah bhi paristhitiyon ke washibhoot ho, kitani tedi-medi ho jati hai . meri bar-bar ichchha hoti thi ki wanamala ki ek jhalak main dekh loon . betabi ke chalate do-tin roj bad hi ek din apane niyat samay se pahale yani dopahar ko hi main daftar chala gaya . usi din mainne sun liya tha ki babu ke n rahane ke karan subah wanamala tanakhah nahin le paee hai . mera man kahata tha ki shayad aaj wah ruke aur fir aamana-samana ho jaye . meri ummid thik nikali . kali sadi wanamala ko khoob fabati thi . shyama tanwangi wanamala ki khoobasoorati usamen aur nikhar aati thi . kamaskam mujhe to aisa lagata tha . hamari aankhen char hueen . wah prasann thi . baithane ki jagah to pariksha ke prashasan ka kamara hi tha . us din wah do baje tak ruki rahi aur bhid se aankhen bachate kuchh hichakate aur kuchh pashopesh men ham donon is-us bare men batiyate rahe . eeshwar jane kyon andarooni khushi ki we tarangen jo ham donon men chhipi rahati thi, mauka milate hi ek-doosare ke dilon par failakar ekakar ho jati thi . wanamala aur mere bich jo chal raha tha use kamare ki bhid bhi dabe-chhipe aashchary aur kautuk se dekh rahi thi . is bat ka andaja aaj mujhe ho gaya tha ki char roj bad hamare ekantik sahamilan ka shubh awasar fir aane wala tha. sanbhawataः wanamala ko bhi waisa aabhas ho gaya ho . par tab isaka aabhas mujhe nahin ho saka tha ki nirikshan ki taja talika dekhakar hi auron ko bhi wanamala aur meri sajha dyooti par dal me kala nazar aayega. us tarah intijar karata wah poora saptah agale us awasar ki kalpana men bita jisamen usaki priya kam ke bahane aur kam ke bich bhi kewal usake sath hogi. usaka man bar-bar wanamala rani ke pichhe bhagata tha . wanamala usake astitw me sama chali thi. aankhon men wanamala ki chhabi samaee thi. hrday ka har spandan mantr ki tarah jap raha tha - main aur meri wanamala. wanamala rani aur usaka priyahari yani main.

wah din aaya . lekin thik us tarah nahin jaisa use aana tha . subah das baje hi mainne paya ki stafrum men ham logon ko sath pakar aur ek hi kamare men darj dekh khusar-pusar shuru ho gaee hai . khoji nigahen isharon men batiya rahi thi . chitrakar kanan karyalay ke narayan babu se poochh raha tha''achchha to aajakal kuchh log apani suwidha ke mutabik dyooti lagawa rahe hain .'' wah kahana aisa tha jise suna ja sake ya jise janaboojhakar sunaya ja raha ho . yah chhaila, tunakmijaj ,chanchal aur batachit men lihaj-wihin tha, go ki usaki yah wrtti samay-samay par hi prakat hoti thi . chir-pratikshit ummid par pani padane hi ja raha tha . kisi kamare men koee ek tab-tak anupasthit tha . babu ne sujhaya ki priyahari sar ko badalakar doosare kamare men bhej diya jaye to kaisa rahe ? bholababu ne mana kar diya -''nahin-nahin, unhen wahin rahane do .'' yah sab dekh-sunakar wanamala aur main donon hi ek anajan bhay aur sankoch se ghir gaye the. hamare man ka chor doosaron ne pakad liya tha. prathame grase makshika pataः . ham donon rahe to tin ghante ke liye ek hi kamare men aaye, lekin wanamala ka mood bigad gaya tha . jis tarah se chijen ujagar huee, usase wah apane ko fajihat men pada huaa mahasoos kar rahi thi aur rusht thi . wanamala ne shayad tay kar rakha tha ki us din main jo bhi usase kahoonga ya chahoonga, use wah nahin manegi . mainne use pas bithane, manane ki cheshtayen kin, lekin usane yatnapoorwak doori banaye rakhi taki apawadon se wah apane ko bacha sake . aurat chahati wah sab kuchh hai, jo mard chahata hai, lekin lokapawadon se wah har kimat par bachana chahati hai . auraton ki

eershya ki use utani parawah nahin hoti . wanamala ko bhi nahin thi. lekin aadamiyon ki duniya men aurat badanami se bahut parahej karati hai . door-door bhag rahi wanamala rani ko apane pas bitha rakhane men mujhe kafi dikkaten huee . mere manane par wanamala raji to huee, lekin rahi wah anyamanask hi aaee . maine usase pahale hi kah rakha tha ki aaj ham sath rahenge aur main usake tifin se usake sath hi khana khaoonga. maine poochha-'' tifin laee ho n ? '' usane kaha- ''aaj main ghar se hi khakar aa gaee hoon . '' main use manata raha. ''kal lekar jaroor aana pliza. kya tum mera itana bhi dhyan n rakhogi ?'' wanamala ko maloom tha ki main shuddh shakahari hoon . mujhe chidati huee wah boli- ''kal main bred aur aamalet lekar aaoongi .'' '' thik hai.'' maine kaha -'' meri pariksha hi le rahi to yahi-sahi, main wahi khaoonga .'' anamani wanamala ne mujhase kaha - ''mujhe kanapur seminar men jana hai . akaunts ke kisi tanfik par ek pepar taiyar kar dijiye n . karenge n ?'' maine kaha- ''karoonga to, lekin tum sath baithogi tab .'' wanamala naraz ho gayi . ''mujhe sath hi baithana hota to kya ? rahane dijiye main khud kar loongi .'' main samajh to raha tha ki hamare sanbandhon ka us tarah auron par prakat hona aur fir tane use chubh gaye the . wah apane ko sikodana chahati thi . fir bhi mujhe usaka waisa jawab dena bura laga . mainne use samajhaya ki wishay tumhara hai aur wah bhi takaniki. tum sath n baithin, to main kisase bat karoonga aur kya mera man lagega ? wah boli ''rahane dijiye mujhe maloom hai, aap sab kuchh kar sakate hain . nahin hi likhana hai to bahana mat kijiye .'' munh fulaye wah tahalane lagi . apane se khinn pa maine use bithaya . usase kaha- ''pyari wanya, mujhase itani nafarat mat karo jise tum khud bhi sanbhal n pao . batao to mera kasoor kya hai ?'' wanamala maun rahi aaee, udas . use munh fulaya pakar mainne kaha-''janati ho kalakatte se tumhare liye sandesh laya tha . us wakt bhi tumhara munh foola raha tha . isaliye tumase tab kaha nahin . tin din rakha raha, aakhir fenkana pada .'' 'sacha' ? wanamala ke hothon par aadhe inch ki muskan ko dekhana durlabh najara tha, jise saubhagy ke waise hi durlabh kshanon men dekha ja sakata tha . wah boli- ''aapane kaha hi nahin, to main janati kaise .'' usane kaha- ''ke. si. das ka rasagulla lana tha, mujhe bahut pasand hai .'' ''wah le aata to raniji kuchh aur lane ki bat kahatin .'' apani bat jari rakhate maine kaha- ''yar tumhara mood is tarah se ukhada huaa kyon rahata hai ? mujhe bahut dar lagata hai ki tum n jane kab naraz ho jao . hamare bich khatapat aur tanaw par log gaur karate hain . aakhir tum aisa karati kyon ho ?'' badi masoomiyat se usane jawab diya- ''aap yoon hi sochate hain . mainne to aisa mahasoos nahin kiya .'' shararat se maine kaha- ''tumhari kundali men mangal hai kya ? hamesha garam rahati ho .'' ''mujhe nahin maloom . yah bhi ki kundali bani bhi, ya nahin .'' ''shadi fir kaise tay huee ?'' ''mistar ki bhi kundali bhi nahin hai .'' atit men kahin dekhati wanamala ne yoon kaha mano wah bahut door se bol rahi ho - ''ganimat hai shadi ho gaee . yahi kya kam hai ?'' ''yara, tab to tumhara pati bahut saubhagyashali nikala . agar kundali ka chakkar hota to shayad wo tumhe nahin pa sakata tha .'' jaise wanamala kahin door kho gaee thi .

maine kaha- ''kash mai tumhen pa sakata . tumhen nahin lagata ki jaise tum mere liye hi rachi gaee thin .'' wanamala anamani ho gaee thi . kuchh astitw usaka kamare men chahalakadami karata aur baithata mere pas tha ; kuchh aur kahin shoony men ; kuchh wahan jahan usake mathe par chinta ki lakiren thin ki log kya kah rahe honge ? chinta ki un lakiron ka falit yah tha ki agale din ham juda kar diye gaye the .

_________________________________________________________________ meri halat aisi hai ki main kuchh n kar paoongi. mere mistar nahin chahate ki main kuchh karoon.''
yah doosara din tha. wanamala ke kamare men jakar main usase mila . baramadon ka chakkar lagate shriman bholababu bich men aa tapake . baton-baton ke bich wanamala ke liye mera prashansa-bhaw pakadakar unhone anajane men wah bat kah di, jisase mujhe apani galati ka ahasas huaa . wanamala ki tarif sunate we bol uthe- ''han, mainne inhen pahale pahachana nahin . ye kabil to hain . sochata hoon ki ise apani shift men sahayak banakar rakh loon . lekin fir log kahenge ki sare bangali ikattha kar liye hain .'' wirag ganguli pahale se hi bhola ka ek sahayak adhikari tha. yakinan bhola ne pashopesh grast wanamala par yah bat jahir kar di thi ki mainne wanamala ko apane sath dyooti men rakhane ki bat usase kah di thi . baton ke dauran hi wanamala achanak bol uthi thi- ''aap to inake (yani mere) kahane par meri dyooti n lagaya kijiye, khas taur par inake sath . ye to yoon hi meri tarif karate rahate hain .'' jahir hai ki lokapawad ke bhay se wanamala men aur sadaiw use upekshita rakhane ke bad bhola ke man men lobh ke jagane ka parinam hi donon ke we sanwad the, jo mujhe sankoch men dal gaye the . bad men fir ekant pa maine wanamala se poochha tha- ''meri bat yad hai, aaj tifin laee ho n ?'' usake 'na' karane par mainne kaha- ''thik hai, main aaj samajh gaya . bat mahaj tifin ki nahi thi, tifin lane wale ki bhawana ki thi aur mainne wah dekh li hai .'' usane bat talani chahi- ''kya bataoon, subah-subah ho nahin pata hai ..... '' maine bich men hi kaha- ''wanamala, kuchh n kaho, pariksha ho gaee .'' tasalli ki koshish men usane kaha- ''aap to bas yoon hi har bat pakad baithate hain . maine aisi koee bat man men sochi hi nahin thi .'' us din mainne use bataya ki usaki pi.yech-di. ke panjiyan ke liye mainne dan. mathur se bat kar li hai . wah panjiyan ke liye taiyar rahe . wanamala anamani aur apane aap me gum thi. sunakar bhi jaise usane kuchh n suna ho . jaise kisi door ke lok se kshin si aawaj sun padi -''rahane dijiye. meri halat aisi hai ki main kuchh n kar paoongi. mere mistar nahin chahate ki main kuchh karoon.'' us din pahali bar mainne apani galati mahasoos ki . wanamala aur apane bich bhola ki madad lena meri moorkhata thi . ghar se to wanamala trast thi hi. yahan bhi usapar nigah rakhate usaki khushi chhinane, use badanam karane log ghus aaye the. kinkartawy-wimoodh main sochata raha ki ham donon ki niyati bhi kaisi hai ? aaj subah hi mujhe isaka aabhas hone laga tha ki jaisa mahaul ban chala tha usamen wanamala ka mood shayadawaisa khila n rah payega jaisa hamare sath ke pichhale sanyog men raha aaya tha . yah nishchay tha ki bhola nahin chahata tha ki wanamala mere nikat rahe. bad men mujhe yah maloom ho chala tha ki subah-subah wanamala ko apane sath rakhe jane ki priyahari ki bat sunakar bholababu aprasann tha. isase pahale ki

us din main pahunchata, wanamala par apani khijh bhola babu ne utar di thi. us din wanamala ke bujh chale chehare ke pichhe yahi rahasy tha. tab bhi mujh men is bat ka kshobh raha aaya ki priyahari ka sath deti wirodhiyon se khule aam lad padane ki bajay wanamala kyon paristhitiyon ke dabaw men aati mayoos ho jati hai ? kyon tab apani rukhaee dikha wah badala priyahari se leti hai ? wah soch raha tha ki pal-pal badalati usaki priya wanamala ka kaun sa roop sahi hai ?

______________________________________________________________ aksar mujhe sandeh hota ki kahin gahare atit men usaka koee bhayanak anubhaw to nahin tha ?
bahar barf ki thandi, thosa, ladi huee chattan ; lekin andar thee bahar nikalane ko betab uddam jwala . wanamala ke andar bhi waisi hi uddam jwala to nahin chhipi thi ?

wanamala achchhi tarah janati thi ki main use chahata hoon par usake andar kuchh raha hoga, jo pratyaksh ko talana chahata tha . wah kya tha ? shayad madhyamawargiy naitikata ka bhay ? ya un ulajhanon aur pareshaniyon ka bhay jo pesh aa rahi thin . ya shayadaghar men usake pati ki jhanjhaton aur bachchon ki parawarish aadi ki chintayen aur wyastata . wah un sari sthitiyon se bachane ki koshish karati thi, jo hamen ek doosare ki or khinch rahi thi . yah isake bawajood tha ki dili aakankshayen meri tarah usaki bhi unhin men bane rahane ki thi . mujhe yad hai . aaranbhik lag-lagaw ke dinon men ruthati-manati wanamala se yah poochhane par ki kya tumhen mera sath pasand nahin, kya tum mujhe nahin chahati ? agar aisa hai, to main tumase door chala jaoonga '', usane jawab diya tha- ''mainne aap se aisa kab kaha ? aap to fir bhi bahut achchhe hain, kuchh log to yahan aise hain, jo aap apane ko jaisa samajhate hain usase kaee guna jyada kharab hain . ab main aapase kya bataoon ?'' wanamala kya kahana chahati thi ? kisaki or isha ra karana chahati thi ? main samajh nahin saka tha . jahan tak maine dekha tha, usase log chidate hi the . mere hi tallukat usase sabase juda aur khule the, jisamen pyar-mohabbat ki baten hoti thin . mujhe aisa lagata ki us chitrakar ka dhyan to wanamala ki or kam tha, par wanamala ke man men hi usake liye lalak jyada thi . kam ke prati laparawah aur gairjimmedar us chhaila ne ek bar pariksha ki dyooti ke dauran hi hamare kamare men aakar poochha tha . poochha to kya, mahaj kaha hi tha''mujhe chay pine ki ichchha hai . jara gumati se chay pikar aata hoon.'' pariksha ka kamara apane sathi ke jimme chhod tahalana-ghoomana aur alassubah chay ya nashta dhoondhana usaki aadat men shumar tha . wanamala ne kaha tha- ''chay pine ki to meri bhi ichchha ho rahi hai .'' us chhaila ne kaha tha- ''chaliye aap bhi, pikar aate hain .'' tab wanamala shayad mera lihaj kar chuppi sadh gaee thi . usake bahar nikalate hi wanamala ne mujhase poochha tha- ''main bhi sath ho aaoon kya ?'' mainne itana hi kaha- yah gair-jimmedari hai ki koee pariksha ke kamare se is tarah thele par chay pine sadak par jaye . tum pariksha-adhikari ho . tumhara jana kya achchha lagega ?'' wanamala ke dohare man ko main pad raha tha . aakhir chahakar bhi wah nahin ja saki thi .

ek aur bar meri mohabbat bhari baton ko talati usane budabudaya tha- ''nahin, aap samajhate nahin . we aa rahe honge na .'' jis din ki yah bat hai, us din us chhaile aur aam logon ke aane ka samay ho raha tha . kya wanamala ka ishara isi khas wyakti ki or tha ? maine socha ki wanamala ke 'bure loga' ka kya matalab tha ? kya koee use sidhe-sidhe sanbhog ke liye prerit kar raha tha . mujhe sandeh huaa . kabhi-kabhi chijen jaisi hoti hain, usake thik ulte dikhaee padati hain . bahar barf ki thandi, thosa, ladi huee chattan ; lekin andar bahar nikalane ko betab uddam jwala . wanamala ke andar bhi waisi hi uddam jwala to nahin chhipi thi ? ek aur roj prashiksharthiyon ki kapiyan janchati usane mujhase kisi aur ki shikayat ki . yah wyakti tabadale par usake wibhag men sal-do sal huye aaya tha . wanamala ne kaha- ''yah aadami meri chapaloosi karata minamina raha tha ki agar usake bhatije ki kapi aaee ho, to main janch men nanbar bada doon .'' yah wyakti aur isake wishay ke bahutere log tyooshan karake paisa kamane, sheyar ka karobar ghar men karane aur kisaki kapi kahan gaee hai, yah janakari hasil karake chhatron ke bich dalali karake nanbar badawane aur paison ke mol-tol ke liye badanam the . wanamala, main aur digar log inake wibhag ki harakaten janate the . wanamala is sab men lipt nahin thi . use in baton se koft thi . mere yah kahane par ki apane wiwek se wah khud hi soche, wanamala ne kaha tha- ''isiliye to main aap se poochh rahi hoon. kya mujhe isaki madad karani chahiye ?'' aage usane khud bataya - '' halanki us pariksha aur rol nanbar ki kapi mere pas aaee hai , maine to usase kah diya hai ki mere pas us pariksha ki kapiyan nahi hain . main isaka kaha kyon manoon ? ye dhandhebaj hai, paisa kamata hai aur yahan chapaloosi kar raha hai . mainne to isase jhooth bol diya hai . maine nanbar badana bhi nahin hai .'' n jane kyon bholababu se bhi wanamala ko chid thi . aakhir wanamala kahana kya chahati thi ? usake sab se jyada nikat aur chaheta main hi tha, jisase usaki patati thi . wanamala ka prashansak shayad hi tab koee raha ho . tab kya wanamala ka sochana usake apane hi dimag ki upaj thi, jo isaliye samane aa rahi thi ki wah apane ko jyada kabil samajhati thi ? kya isiliye wah in ghatiya logon ko tarajih nahin dena chahati thi ? kya wanamala ki isi upeksha aur akad-bhare swabhaw se log usake aalochak the . waisa tha to main bhi, lekin tab kyon sari mahilayen, lagabhag sara stanf meri ijjat karata tha . n jane we kaun se karan rahe honge ki log wanamala ko nakabila, upekshaniy samajhate the aur mera use tarajih dena unhen nahin bhata tha . bahutere mujhe isharon men sanket bhi karate ki us wanamala men kya hai, jo men use deta tarajih deta hoon ? sara kuchh dekhate-boojhate bhi wanamala mujhe dinon-din aakarshit kar rahi thi . main usake pyar men pagal huaa ja raha tha . nishchit hi buddhi aur samajh donon men auron se wah bahut aage aur mere karib thi . usase har wishaya, har paksh par bhawana aur buddhi ki itani baten meri hoti thi ki main har bat men usaki tarif karata tha . wanamala aur main jaise ek doosare ka swapn the . ham donon ek-doosare ko apana poorak man apane sanbandhon par garw karate the . wah nahin chahati thi ki main kabhi kisi aur ko apane najadik rakhoon ya use chhod kisi ki tarif karoon . yah ek swataः -sfoort sanbandh aur dilo-dimag ka rajinama tha ki hamare samatuly khud hamare alawa koee aur ho hi nahin sakata tha . isiliye mera ya usaka ek-doosare se chhina jana n use pasand tha, n mujhe . lekin tab bhi yah rahasyamay tha ki wanamala aakhir meri tarah saf aur bejhijhak kisi nishkarsh par kabhi kyon nahin pahunch pati thi . ek taraf apane ghar ki jindagi se mukti ki chhatapatahat aur mujh se dil lagane ki chahat wanamala men thi . fir doosari taraf daihik sanbandh aur sanbhog ke nam se chidachidahata, udasi bhari anyamanaskata bhi thi . aakhir wah thik-thik kya chahati thi ? wanamala ko samajh pana mushkil tha . thik mauka aane par wah sikudan bhara mathe ka pashopesh , chehare par ubhar aaee ganbhir udasi, aur anamane bhaw se bhari kahin door ajnyat men khoee jati wanamala ki pida bharidrshti- in sab men kya tha ? aksar mujhe sandeh hota ki kahin gahare atit men usaka koee bhayanak anubhaw to nahin tha ? kya aisa ho sakata hai ki kishoraway men hi ghar ya bahar ke kisi parichit ne usase apratyashit aur balat sanbhog ki cheshta ki ho, jisase wah achanak duchitta, manorogi aurat men tabdil ho jati thi .

mano yah usaka wah rahasy hi tha, jisaka tilasm mujhe aur adhik usaki or khinchata tha . main use todana chahata tha, samajhana chahata tha. wanamala ko main usaki sanpoornata men ,usake man aur deh ke sath hasil karana aur bhogana chahata tha . ham donon ke bich yoon hi luka-chhipi chalati rahi . main aatur tha ki ekabaragi ham donon khul jayen . maine than liya tha ki jo bhi ho, sari baten dil ki kahakar wanamala ko main apane pas khinch laoonga . idhar sanstha ka mahaul aisa tha ki khoji nigahon aur kamakaji watawaran men dil ki baten bahut furasat se ho n pati thin. udhar wanamala ka ghar aisa ki hamesha bhay aur aashankaon ko dawat deta najar aata . musibat hi musibat thi. rah nikalana kathin tha.

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baba re, itana pyar ki boodi ho jane par bhi n chhodoge
''baba re, itana pyar ki boodi ho jane par bhi n chhodoge . mujhe mar daloge kya ?'' sara kuchh to aap kah dete hain aur main jan leti hoon . pyar ki chithi्thayon se kya fayada ?''

we din naye wetanaman ke liye aandolan ke the . dharanon aur julooson ka mahaul tha. ilake ke alag-alag hisso men bari-bari samoohik dharane ka karyakram tay huaa tha. un dinon main apani yooniyan ka rasookhadar lidar tha . wanamala ko mainne raji kar liya tha ki ilake ke tayashuda doorasth sansthan ke bahar pahale din hi waha, main aur nilanjana dharane par baithenge . wanamala se us subah fon par mainne bat ki thi- ''main tumhare yahan pahunchoonga, tum wahin nilanjana ko bhi bula lo, sath chalenge .'' usane pahale to khushi men 'han' kah di, lekin turant bad jaise kuchh socha ho, kaha ki ''nahin, mere ghar aana thik n hoga . aap pahunchiyega, main bhi sidhe pahunch jaoongi . wanamala ko awashy yah andesha tha ki mere wahan pahunchane aur mere sath usake jane se ghar men bawal mach sakata hai . main khush tha ki bahar hamen sath rahane, pas aane aur ji bhar nirbhay baten karane ka achchha awasar rahega . wanamala meri khushi men shamil thi . thik samay par kismat ne dhokha diya . ichchha ke wiparit mujhe pratinidhi ke roop men is bar dilli jana pada . mainne wanamala ko usake ghar fon karake apani majaboori bata di thi aur kaha tha ki lautate hi ham milenge . mainne kaha tha ki usase door rahakar mujhe usaki yad bechain karati rahegi . main chala to gaya tha lekin wanamala ki yaden thin ki chaubisen ghante bekarar karati thin . chitiःthayan likhata wanamala ke nam aur har chitthi adhoori lagati .tren men, prawas par mainne use yad kar anek chitiःthayan likh dalin . ab mere man ko rel se utarakar boriya-bistar sahit wanamala ke pas pahunchane ki bechaini thi . tin din bahar rahakar lauta to bajay apane ghar jane ke thik us sabsteshan par utar pada, jahan se hamara sansthan karib tha . najaron ki yah chahat liye ki shayadawah mil jaye, usaki ek jhalak dekh loon dhadakate dil se main kanlej pahuncha . mainne kalpana ki thi ki thik usake nikalane se pahale main pahunchoonga aur usase aankhen char hongi, lekin wyarth . mainne use dhoonda par wah n mili . hamare pas sath baithane taim-tebil kamiti ke kam ka bahana bhi tha. pata laga ki wanamala nahin aaee thi ya aakar chali gaee hai, wagairah . agale

din subah-subah doguni bechaini men bhagata nau baje main kanlej pahuncha . ekant ho, isaliye prinsipal ke bade kamare men jo alag-thalag aur khali tha, kone ki wark-tebil par kagaj failaye main jam gaya tha . subah-subah bhid n hone ke bawajood auron ke samane wanamala ko chalakar sath baithane ke liye kahakar apani aaturata wyakt karane ki bajay mainne nilanjana se sandesh bhijawaya ki furasat milate hi wanamala mere pas aa jaye . taim-tebil ko antim roop dena hai . mainne dekha do kamaron ke bich ke dwar par parade se jhankati wanamala prakat huee . usaka chehara khila tha . usane kaha ki nilanjana se aapaka sandesh mil gaya tha . wah mere samane baith gaee . mainne ulahana di. ''wanamala kal dilli se lautakar bajay apane nagar pahunchane may saro-saman main bich ke apane is apane upanagariy stesh n par hi utara aur sidhe yahan aaya ki apani priya ki ek jhalak dekhaःःn, lekin tum mili nahin .'' usane kaha ''kal to main aaee hi nahin thi .'' fir andar hi andar khush hoti lekin chulabuli shikayat men wanamala ne aage kaha- ''aap yoon hi mujhe khush karane kah rahe hain . mujhe bhala aap kyon yad karane lage ? apani dyooti lagane aap aa gaye honge aur bahana mera bana rahe hain .'' mujhe bura laga . usaki aankhon men doobata main bola''pyari wanamala yoon awishwas karake, mujhe duः khi karake tumhen khushi hoti hai ? fir poochha ''batao us din 'han' kahakar tumane apane ghar aane se fir mana kyon kar diya ?'' ''jis liye aap ghar aate wah to roj yahin ho jata hai . mera chehara to yahin aap dekh lete hain, ghar aakar hi kya karenge ? wahan itani suwidha rahati hi kahan hai '' wanamala ne aage kaha- ''mere mistar bimar the, tab aana tha . tab kyon nahin aaye ? bad men aap ke aane se wo kya samajhate ? yahi ki main bimar pada to yad nahin aaee aur ise dekhane ye jab bhi ho mere ghar chale aate hain . aap sochate thoda bhi nahin .'' mainne bataya ki main to jana chahata tha, lekin bholaram ne meri ichchha janate hi bade sahab ke samane tok diya ki kya karoge jakar bina bulaye ? falatu wahan kyon jate ho ? maine wanamala se poochha- ''tumhin batao main kya karata ?'' meri kamaakli par wanamala ka man jaroor tarasa hoga . usane man hi man kaha hoga- ''mere karib rahana chahate ho aura, tarakib bhool jate hain .'' ham donon ke bich chand baten huee . maine use bataya ki kis tarah main use har-pal yad karata raha . har-pal kis tarah wah mujhe bechain karati rahi . hansakar wah boli ? ''rahane dijiye, aap jhooth bolate hain .'' wanamala ne kaha- ''bataiye kyon bulaya hai ? staf-rum men anuradha maidam baithi hain . sochati hongi ki n jane aap ke sath main yahan kya kar rahi hoon soone men .'' hansate huye maine bhi jawab diya- ''kya karoonga tumhari yad ke siway . taim-tebil to bahana tha, din-rat baitha tumhen prem-patr likha karata hoon .'' ''jhootha'' usane kaha. ''mujhe kyon koee prem-patr likhega . main ab prem-patr likhane layak kahan rahi ? do bachchon ki man, adhed . mujhamen ab wo bat kahan ki aap prem-patr likhen .'' ''achchha ! kahan hai dikhaiye.'' wanamala ke kahane par mainne wah khas khaki sarakari purana lifafa uthaya aur use we panch patr dikhaye jo usake liye hi the . usane kewal ek jhalak dekhakar hi jan liya ki maine sach bat kahi thi . usaka chehara surkh ho chala tha . jhijhakate huye mand swaron men usane kaha- ''rahane dijiye n inhen . sara kuchh to aap kah dete hain aur main jan leti hoon . pyar ki chithiःthayon se kya fayada ?'' usane uthane ki aajnya chahi aur chal padi . mainne pida bhari shikayat usase ki -''wanamala tumase kuchh chhipa to hai nahin . ye ada tumhari purani hai . thik hai tumhari marji nahin hai to rahane do . man tumhara hai . mera tum par kya hak hai ki tumhen majaboor karoon .'' wah thithaki, meri aankhon ki udasi ko usane pada aur kaha- ''aap se main kya kahoon ? meri majaboori to aap samajhate nahin .''

''wanamala main sab samajhata hoon, lekin tum jaisi bhi ho, jo bhi ho, mera man tum par marata hai . tum adhed ho, boodi ho jao, tab bhi main tumhin par jan deta rahoonga .'' wanamala hansakar boli- ''baba re, itana pyar ki boodi ho jane par bhi n chhodoge . mujhe mar daloge kya ?'' wanamala ne mere hath se lifafa le liya . mainne aagrah kiya ki wah yahin pad le, lekin wah boli- '' main furasat se padoongi. yahan padane men der ho jayegi .'' mainne aagah kiya ki yad rakhana, yah mere aur tumhare bich ki bat hai, sarwajanik nahin . sanbhalakar rakhana .'' ''main janati hoon . nishchint rahiye . koee bhi nahin dekhega . fir yoon bhi is lifafe par shasan ke sachiw ka pata likha hai . purana hai isaliye koee n poochhega .'' kuchh der bad ekant se rukhasat ho main staf-rum men pahuncha . mainne dekha ki anuradha ke bagal men hi kuchh doori liye wanamala baithi thi . door se hi mujhe apane akshar aur kagaj pahachan men aa rahe the, jinhen wanamala pad rahi thi . mujhe aaya aur dekhata jan wanamala ne jhatapat kagaj lifafe men dale aur thailanuma pars men use rakhakar chal padi . usake jane ke bad anuradha ne arthapoorn netron se mujhe dekhate kaha- ''priyahari, mujhe aap se kuchh kahana tha. main bad men kahoongi .'' usaka kahana hi kafi tha . mainne anuman laga liya ki majara kya hoga ? jaroor wanamala ne apane garw men chuhal se anuradha ko we patr dikhaye honge ya khoobasoorat anuradha ko jalane wale andaj men apane jadu ki bat chhedate wyangy ke andaj men koee sanket kiya hoga. main samajhakar bhi chup raha . aurat ki aadat hi aisi hoti hai . zara si tarif aashik ke munh se nikali nahin ki wah apane ko akhabar banaye apani sanginiyon ke bich fail jati hai.

______________________________________________________________ sanbandh kya hain ? smrtiyan hi to sanbandh hain. wahi pul banati hai - do dilon ke bich .
rishton aur wishwas ka ek najuk dhaga tha, jo wiparit paristhiti men bhi hamen jode rakhata tha.

********* agale din wanamala aur main akele hi kamare men the . usaki mudra ganbhir thi . mainne poochha- ''wanamala patr pad liye . usane kaha- ''maine ek hi patr pada, aage himmat n huee . bap re ! main to use hi padakar bechain ho gaee . n jane kaisa-kaisa lagane laga . aap ne kya-kya shikayaten likh di hain . maine aap ka kya bigada hai, kab bhala aap ka apaman kiya hai ?'' mere patr nihayat wyaktigat aur aatmiy the . wanamala se wanamala ke mooda, akalpit wyawahar apani diwanagi aur usaki berukhi ki jin shabdon men mainne shikayat ki thi, we bechain kar dene wale hi the . sach kahoon to yah ki aashik ki safalata hi us tarakib men chhipi hoti hai jo masooka ko bechain karati pighalakar rakh de. yani main safal ho chuka tha. eemanadari se sare patr wanamala ne mujhe lauta diye . anuradha se bad men mainne tohana chaha ki aakhir wah kaun si bat hai, jo wah kahana chahati thi, lekin wah tal gaee . apane man ka sandeh mauka dekh kafi dinon bad ekant pa wanamala ke samane mainne rakh diya . mainne poochha ki kya mere we patr tumane anuradha ko dikhaye the ya us par usane koee charcha ki thi ?

mujhe wanamala par sandeh tha, jo akaran nahin tha . mainne poochha ki kya tumane aapas ki baten kabhi bhola se bhi kahin thin . pariksha ke dauran bhola ka bich men aana aur wanamala ki safaee ki 'inake kahane par to khasataur mujhe unake sath mat rakha kijiye' mujhe yad thi . wanamala ne aashwast karate huye ganbhirata se kaha- ''aap bekar sandeh kyon karate hain ? main n apani baten kisi se batati hoonaur n kabhi bataoongi .'' us din mainne fir wanamala ko samajhaya- apane man ki pidayen usase kahi . ham donon ke bich us din wishwas men wada huaa ki ek-doosare par hamara wishwas gopaniy aur surakshit rahega . hamare wishwas ke bich koee kabhi nahin aayega . akelepan ki aatmiyata men wanamala sadaiw ki tarah apani udasi, pashopesh aur chehare par ubhar aaye tanaw ke sath isi tarah pesh aati thi . usaki wichitr mudra aur ganbhir rahasyamayata ko samajhana kathin tha . wanamala ke sath mera sanbandh wishwas aur awishwasa, pyar aur wigrah ke bich jhool raha tha . usake badalate skijofrenik mood se main aksar pareshan ho jata . usake hothon par muskurahat eed ke chand ki tarah hi durlabh thi . yah mere chitt ke liye ek samasya aur shodh ka wishay ban gaya tha ki hamesha pareshana, ganbhira, udas aur chidachidi wanamala se main kaise pesh aaoon ? man ko marata kaee bar main sochata ki jis sanbandh ka bhawishy hi nahin najar aata usase main door kyon nahin ho jata . tab mera man mujhe samajhata ki wanamala ki apani samasyayen hain . stri ki apani wiwashatayen aur jatilatayen hoti hain . wah ghar se udas hai - thik tumhari hi taraha. usamen mukti ki wah chhatapatahat bhi hai, jisake pichhe swatantrata ke swapn hain-thik tumhari tarah . use samajhane aur manane, sath dene ki jagah kewal isiliye chhod jana ki tumhari apekshayen poori nahin ho rahi hain, kya anyay nahin hoga ? isake alawa yah bhi ki jab-jab nirash main usase door hone ki koshish karata, achanak ekant ke aise pal aa jate, jo wanamala ke sath ka mithapana, wishwas aur aatmiyata fir se bhar jate the . sach to yah hai ki paristhitiyan aisi hi thin, jisamen n ham pas aa pa rahe the aur n door ja sakate the . rishton aur wishwas ka ek najuk dhaga tha, jo wiparit paristhiti men bhi hamen jode rakhata tha. wanamala se furasat men apani bat kahane ya apane dil ka shikawa jahir karane ki harachand koshish meri hoti . wanamala ki yah khasiyat thi ki ghar ke jhanjhaton aur jhagadon ko wah kabhi ujagar nahin karati thi . poochho to yah kahakar tal jati ki chhodiye na, jo hona hai hota rahana hai . ghar ke mamale main sanbhal leti hoon, koee khas bat nahin hai . fir bhi aise kshan yada-kada aate jab wah apani majabooriyon par khijhati kahati- ''aap ka kya hai . yahan thoda sa kam hai . aap maje se likhate-padate aur mohabbat faramate hain, mujhe to pahar huye uthana padata hai . fir har chij men khot nikalane wale apamanit karane wale mistar ke liye nashta banana, bachchon ka tifin banana, unhen skool bhejana hota hai . yahan se jakar mistar ke liye khana banana, bachchon ko dekhana hota hai . unaki dyooti subah hone par kabhi-kabhi to yah pati hoon ki bachche basta liye tala band ghar ke samane sookha sa munh liye mere intajar men baithe hote hain .'' wanamala aksar kaha karati- ''chhodiye n mujhe . bhool jaiye aap mujhe. meri kismat men wah sab nahin likha hai, jo aap chahate hain . kyon aap mere pichhe apani pratibha aur samay barabad karate hain ?'' yahi to wah sadharanatayen aur jatilatayen thin jo aam stri-purush ki wiwashatayen hoti hai . main us par aur jyada mar mitata . wah mujhe aur nikat aur ghar ki maloom hoti . main bhool hi jata ki wanamala kisi aur ki patni hai . ruthane-manane jhagadane aur ek-doosare par adhikar ke sanbandh is prakar ho chale the ki ham yoon wyawahar karate jaise lachar wiwashata ke kshanon men ham patipatni ke roop men karate hote . kabhi-kabhi wah kah bhi jati- ''achchha aap to yoon kah rahe hain, jaise aap mere hasabaind hon .'' sach bhi yahi tha ki ek stri apane pati se jis aatmiyata aur us par jaise man bhare adhikar ki apeksha rakhati hai wah use mujhase hi sampoornata men mila karati thi. aise hi we kshan huaa karate jo usase door jate nirash man ko aur adhik teji se khinchakar usake pas ja fenkate . use prasann karane aur rakhane ka mauka dhoondata main anek fitaraten karata aur sochata ki main chalak hoon . bad men pata lagata ki meri chalaki mera utawalapan thi. wah aisi bhoolen kar jati ki banate sanbandhon ko bigad

jati aur wanamala ko pareshani men dal jati thi . prayaः baton-baton men main wanamala se maloom kar liya karata ki usake pati ki dyooti subah ya sham kis shift men chal rahi hai, dyooti ki shift kis din badala karati hai, chhutti kab rahati hai wagairah . isase main anuman laga leta ki ghar par lain kab saf hai . yah jaruri nahin tha ki usake pati ki dyooti ya shifta, usaki chhutti ka niyam hamesha mere anuman ke mutabik ho aur yahin hadase ke bij pada karate the . us din bhi dopahar wanamala ko fon kar baitha tha . doosare din wanamala aaee to mainne dekha ki aankhen udas aur munh sooja huaa hai . wah tanawagrast aur ganbhir thi . stanf rum men maine jab prawesh kiya to paya ki wanamala akeli hi baithi thi . maine dekha ki jyon hi mera pahunchana huaa, isase pahale ki main kuchh bat karata sanshodhit samay-sarini banati wanamala ne mujhe ghoorakar tej najaron se dekha aur upekshapoorwak sare kagaj-kalam chhod fauran bahar nikal gaee . wah naraj thi aur main pashopesh men tha . kuchh der bad wah usi mudra men lauti aur kagaj-kalam jhatapat baig men dal ghar ke liye nikal padi . udas man mainne usase itana hi kaha- ''wanamala, tum naraz ho n ! kewal isiliye kamara chhod kar chali gaee ki kahin main tumase bat n kar loon .'' wah nikal padi jhatake se . usane kaha tha- ''aap chahe jo samajh len .'' main samajh gaya ki mere fon ke wakt usake pati ghar par the . jaroor usane shankalu pati ke durwyawahar ki zillat uthaee hai . siway munh latakaye afasos karane ki main aur kya karata . sanbandh chahe achchhe hon ya bigad jayen, we sanbandh hi hote hain . har halat men ek tis to hoti hi hai . sanbandh kya hain ? smrtiyan hi to sanbandh hain. wahi pul banati hai-do dilon ke bich . wanamala ab mujhase bachane lagi thi . bat ya to karati n thi, ya fir tal jati thi . ekant ko tal wah stanf rum se bahar yahan-wahan baith samay gujar leti thi . ek jagah hote aur ekant milata bhi to ekadh bar anamane man se naraja, shikayat bhari aankhon se dekhati aur wimukh ho jati . aur kuchh n mila to akhabar hath men faila yoon baith jati ki chehara usamen gum ho jaye aur meri aankhen use dekh n saken .

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wanamala jo bahar hai use n dekho, andar un palon ke ekant men jhanko aur wanamala ke pyar bhare man ko dekho .

nirasha , udasinata aur awasad se mera man wyathit tha . main sochata tha ki aise pyar se kya fayada jisaka koee anjam n ho aur jo kisi ko narajagi aur nafarat se bhar deta ho . apana pyara, apani pida man men chhipaye main bhi wanamala se katane laga tha . man tha ki dinrat usaki yadon ko udhedata aur bunata lekin wah kewal wartalap aur un rachanaon, dayarinuma anubhawon men hota jinhen wah kisi din kisi tarah usake nam kar mujhe drshy se hat jana tha . lekin kahan aisa huaa ? wah to kewal mere durdinon ka madhyantar tha . aisa kahan sanbhaw tha ki ek hi jagaha, ek hi sath ham rahen aur ek-doosare ke chitt ek doosare men sankramit n ho . baharahala, us samay meri sthiti waisi hi thi,. man ko mare apane nirnay

par main bhi kayam raha aata . sab janate the, lekin doosaron par apani or se apani pida maine kabhi ujagar nahin ki . stanf men mahilayen aur bhi thin, wanamala se sundara, saral aur khule swabhaw ki-jinase mere sahaj sanbandh the . manjari ka jikr main kar chuka hoon, fir nilanjana, shyama, neha, anuradha, nandita, bad men aaee wallari urf gairikawasana, manjoosha ke bad aaee sandhya aur bhi aati-jati anek . mera wyaktitwa, meri ganbhir bhaw bhari khoee drshti, mera sarwatonmukhi wyapak jnyana, saragarbhit baten, meri parish krt ruchiyan, mera pathan-pathana, rachanatmak lekhana, kala-sahityik-sanskrtik ki apar ruchiyan waijnyanik soch aur karyapranali-yah sab milakar aisi chhabi banate the ki mera sath sabake liye sahaj aakarshak tha . yahan tak ki wanamala ke prati mere prashansa-bhaw aur usase meri nikatata se hi we drshtiyan praya् mujhe prashnit karati kahati ki kahan aur kis sanaki aurat ke pichhe aap samay barbad kar rahe hain . mera purush hrday bhi jahira taur par in auraton ko kabhi-kabhi adhik tarajih deta aur unhen bandhe rahata tha . wanamala se nafarat ke karan nahin, use chidane aur jalane ke liye main waisa karata tha . purush sahayogiyon men bhi main purana aur jahir taur par sarwadhik prakhayat tha . isiliye mujhe ijjat di jati thi . wanamala ke praya् sabhi aalochak the . usase door rahate aur mujhe door pa khush hoon, in sadharan auraton ke sath baithana, bat karana main pasand nahin karati . wanamala ki berukhi ke bawajood usaka aagrah yad kar use khush rakhane usake liye maine lekh taiyar kar diya tha . waisa karane men mujhe bahut mehanat karani padi thi . lekh wishw-wyapar ke tantr aur usamen bharat ke sankat se sanbandhit tha . prshthon ka apana lekh poora kiya . wanamala ka chehara har pal meri aankhon ke samane hota. usaki yaden har pal mere liye prerana ka kam karati . main itane lagan se bhida raha jaise lekh ka har shabd mere liye wanamala, wanya ka sakar jap tha . mera chitt usamen tallin tha . wah mujhe samajhata tha ki wanamala mayoos hai, pashopesh men hai. tum usaki lachari ko samajho ki wah kyon waisa karati hai, jo tumhen bura lagata hai . usake man men tumhare liye koee mail nahin hai . wah to logon ki nigahen hain, ghar ki majabooriyan hain, jo use waisa bana dete hain . mera man mujhe samajhata ki tumhare to sab prashansak hain . tum purush ho, tumhara kuchh nahin bigadata, lekin un manasik pidaon, tanawon, ghar aur bahar ki dohari jimmedariyon ki yad karo, jo use jhelani padati hai . wah kahata ki wanamala jo bahar hai use n dekho, andar un palon ke ekant men jhanko aur wanamala ke pyar bhare man ko dekho . tumhari aankhon men jhankati kuchh kah rahi usaki un gahari udas aankhon ko yad karo, jo tumase kah rahi hoti hai ki mujhe bhi tumase itana hi pyar hai, jitana tumhen mujhase hai. lekin tumhin batao ki main kya karoon ? jahan tak smaran hai wah kanapur gaee thi us pathyakram ke liye jisamen use apane lekh ke pade jane ki ummid thi . lauti to boli ki itani mehanat se utana achchha lekh bana, lekin wahan to lekh padane-padane ka koee jikr hi nahin tha . kya din aur kya rat mainne mahine-ded mahine khoob mehanat ki aur lagabhag chaubis hote the . wah praya् sab se kati rahi . mujhase wah khud kaha karati thi ki main aisi-waisi nahin

shayad wah maee ka mahina tha, jab wah gaee thi . usaki bahut yad mujhe aati thi . har pal main usaki kami mahasoos karata tha . ji chahata tha ki udakar usase ja miloon . lekin haya, ki samaj aur usaki majaboori, pahachane jane aur charchaon ka dar use bhi tha, aur mujhe bhi . kitani lachari thi ? mainne bich men ek bar use fon par bat ki thi . kaha tha -'' main chahata hoon isi dauran akhabar men chhape taki wahan log pade, chaunke, aur usaki pratibha ki khoob tarif ho .'' mainne poochha tha ki kya use yah pasand aayega ki usake nam ke sath mera bhi nam sanyukt roop se lekh men ho taki ham donon ko yah ehasas rahe ki hamara sath kitana achchha, nam-kamaoo ho sakata hai . wanamala ne tab badi saralata se kah diya tha- ''bhala mujhe kyon aapatti hogi ? main to aap ki ehasanamand hoon ki itani badi pratibha mere sath hai . mujhe koee aapatti nahin hai . apana nam bhi de sakate hain .'' usaki swikrti ke bawajood mainne waisa nahin kiya, kyonki main janata tha ki mere nam ka wanamala ke sath judana logon men shak paida karega aur usaka nam pichhe rah jayega . tab to nahin, ek sawa mahine bad lekh ek-yek kar char kiston men chhapa tha . har kist poore dainik akhabari pej ka aadha gherati thi . mujhamen jaise wanamala ka astitw hi sama gaya tha . pahali hi kist gayi to usaka nam dekhakar main yoon prasann huaa jaise mera nam huaa ho . han, aisa tha to . usake liye meri mihanat rang laee thi . ji chahata tha ki udakar pahuchoon aur usase lipatakar usaki udasa, bhoori aankhon men jhankoon taki hamari khushiyann ghul-mil jayen . lekin majaboori . main roj ki tarah subah sade nau baje pahuncha to paya ki wanamala dakshin men diwar se lagi apani jagah baithi hai . usaki aankhon men udas khushi ki chamak thi, lekin sath baithi usaki sathiyon ya digar purush-staf ki aankhon men koee pratikriya nahin thi . anuradha wahan baithi thi . usane khijh aur shikayat bhari ek najar mujh par dali . mujhe ummid thi ki wahan chahal-pahal hogi . wanamala ko badhaiyon ka anbar laga hoga . prinsipal use bulakar tarif karega . kanlej ke ladake-ladakiyan us par prashansa se jhoomenge, lekin waisa kuchh n tha . tha to kewal stanf ki aankhon men jhankata ek tatasth bhawa, jo yah bata raha tha ki we asaliyat janate hain . tarif ki jagah un aankhon men wanamala ke liye berukhi, witrsh na aur nafarat bhari thi . mujhe waisi pratikriya achchhi n lagi . ekant men ham mile to wanamala ne bataya tha ki stanf men to ek ne bhi usase us bare men bat tak nahin ki . han, subah-subah use janane wale pariwarik parichiton ki kuchh tajagi bhari badhaiyan aur shubhakamanayen ghar men fon par mili thin . maine wanamala se pahale hi kaha tha ki koee poochhe to kahana ki lekh usane khud taiyar kiya hai . us wishay men kewal charchayen mujhase hoti thin, bahasen hoti thin. us tarah prerana aur margadarshan matr men mera sahayog tha . lekh mainne jab use wismit karane maee men usake jane se pahale hi likh aur usi ke anurodh par bakayada taip bhi karake taiyar saunpa tha, tabhi usane stanf men anek ko dikhaya tha . lekin tab bhi

'achchha hai' ki thandi pratikriya stanf se mili thi, jisamen witrshna ki wah muskan shamil thi jo kahati ki ''rahane do, tum kya bata rahi ho ? sara rahasy hamen maloom hai.'' chaha karata ki kash sadaiw ke liye ham sath wanamala men meri aankhen apar pratibha dekhati thin . usaka sath mere liye prerana tha aur swapn bhi . usake sath main hamesha hon . meri rachanaon men wah basi rahe aur wanamala ki rachanayen usake us swapn ko sakar karen jo meri aankhen usake liye dekhati thin . ham donon is mamale men ham-khayal aur ham-pasand the . tab bhi wanamala ko jahan main prerit karata ki wah nirbhay ho, khulakar mere sath aa jaye, logon ki aalochanaon ka jawab de aur hamara sath nirdwand ho, wahan wanamala khud apane ko asahay aur lachar pati thi . usamen aatmawishwas jagane ki meri koshish nishfal ho jati thi . wah sochati, waisa karane ka bhawuk nirnay leti, lekin ghar kiston par kisten chhapati gayin . wanamala mujhe dekhati, lekin wahi udas najaren usamen main dekhata . jis lekh se use tarif aur yash ki ummid thi, wah usake liye logon ki eershyaaur nafarat ka karan ban gaya tha . sandeh ki aashanka ko talane usane bhay se pahale hi ghar men kah diya tha ki main usaki madad kar raha tha, mainne wah lekh usake liye taiyar kiya tha . tab bhi wishwas jitane ki usaki aasha usaka pati apani tab dhoomil ho jati jab khijh aur shikayat se use prashnit karata . lekhon ke chhapane ke bad aur bahar ke dabawon se fir toot jati thi .

ekadh bar kabhi wanamala ke ghar par baitha tha. charchaon ke bich wanamala ki tarif karate wakt maine wah sara kuchh pad liya tha, jo aise maukon par meri upasthiti aur prashansa ke dauran meri priya ke pati ki aankhon aur usaki bhari oobad-khabad aawaj men likha hota tha . samajhate hain ki mere mistar aap se meri tarif sunakar khush bad men wanamala ne spashtat: khulasa karate mujhase kaha tha ki- ''aap kya hote hain ? galatafahami

chhod dijiye . us din jab aap meri tarif kiye ja rahe the, tab unhen bura lag raha tha aur man hi man we chid rahe the . unhe eershya ho rahi thi. unaka bas chale to pi-yecha.di. ki bat door rahi, naukari chhuda we mujhe ghar bitha den .''

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sarpayugmon ki rachanatmak rekhakrti : mangal-parinay
'jab main aur aap hain to tisare ki jaroorat kya ?” ******************************* wanamala jaisi bhi thi mujhe kubool thi . fir bhi kabhi-kabhi mera man is bat ke liye du् khi hota, afasos karata ki apane dabawon aur doosaron ke khayalon ke khayal se mujhe anadekha kyon kar jati hai . mujhe bahut bura laga jab poora lekh taiyar kar maine use saunpa tha aur wah thi ki apane lekh para, jane ki taiyariyon par mere hi samane chahakati huee gairon se baten kar rahi thi aur maun main use dekhata raha tha . itani awasadagrast aur kanjoos ki nihayat tatasth aur sookhe dhanyawad ke kuchh shabdon ko chhodakara, jo badi jaldi men manon bhay men parose gaye the, usane koee bat n ki thi . kasha, wah kabhi samajh pati ki usake aise udas wyawahar se mere man par kya bitati thi, jo usase chaubison ghante baten karane aatur aur usaki ek jhalak pane aankhen bichhaye raha karata tha . mere man ko samajh pane usaki parwah karane ki jagah mujhase nikatata ke aabhas ko door rakhane ki chinta use adhik satati thi . thodi bhi musibat ka bhay use mujhase door kar deta tha . mainne anubhaw se paya tha ki do hi sthitiyan aisi hoti thin jab wanamala mere sath ke mamale men sahaj mood men huaa karati thin . ek to un dinon aur kshanon men jab usake chitt ghar par ki apriy sthitiyan aur samasyaon ka dabaw n ho . doosare taba, jab purushon khas taur par hamare sath par gaur karane wale mere aur usake warg ke samawayask kuchh purush sathiyon ki nigahon men wah mere sath dikhaee pade . bholababoo, usake wibhag men chutakulebaj kutilaksha, wibhag ko lift dene ki bajay auron ke sath dekhakar aprakat eershya se bhara wipula, samay-asamay sthitiyon ko bhanpata aur chutakiyan leta chitrakar wagairah sare isi koti men the . any purush sathi bhi the . wanamala stanf men apane ko sab se alag aur kabilatar samajhati thi. isiliye mujhe chhod sare usake liye praya् falatu aur samany koti ke log the . wah mujhe manati thi aur main use. wah khush thi ki usake liye meri chahat aur sadbhawanaon ne usaki kabiliyat par muhar laga di thi . auraton ki to use khas taur par parwah n thi . unaka mere ird-gird fatakana bhi napasand tha, bat karane ki bat to door rahi . kanlej men likhane-padane ganbhir rachanatmak kriyakalapon ke prati praya् logon ka rujhan nahin tha . diya huaa sarakari kam sarakari dhang se hi nibata diya yahi unake liye kafi tha . meri dilachaspi ek aisi patrika ke prakashan men thi jo kanlej ke chhatron aur stanf ki rachanatmakata ko prerit aur ujagar kare . prachary dan. nalin ji mitrawat aur hamakhayal the . unhonne mujh par wishwas karake yah jimma de diya tha . mujhe poori chhoot thi ki jise chahe sath rakhoon . mujhe to wanamala pasand thi . wanamala se mainne ray li . mere sath ka har kam use pasand tha . dil-dimaga, wicharon ke tar aise jude the ki kisi kam ke karane dhanga, usaki kalpana par bad-chadakar ham ek-doosare ki tarif karate the .

maine sujhaya- ''ham donon hi sath rahe aaye to logon ki nigah men chubhenge . kisi tisare ko sath len to ?'' usane do took shabdon men mujhase kaha- ''aap chahen to waisa kar sakate hain, lekin meri shart yah hai ki bholababu ko aap ne rakha to main aap ke sath nahin kam karoongi .'' bhola se use n jane kya nafarat thi ? aur-aur namon ka khayal mujhe aata raha . ek-do nam mainne sujhaye bhi, lekin sahamati n mili . wanamala ne khijhakar kaha- ''jab main aur aap hain to tisare ki jaroorat kya ? bekar ki badha hi rahegi .'' main usase sahamat huaa . jab-tab baithate, baten karate, roop-rekhayen banate ham donon hi kam karate rahe . kisi ko kuchh bhi lagata raha ho, hamen parwah nahin thi . jahir hai ki patrika chhapi aur badiya chhapi . thok-pitakara, sudharakara, manakar hamane rachanayen ekatrit aur sanpadit ki thin . bhola ka lekh mujhe thik-thik laga tha . mainne kaha- ''inhonne to ummid se jyada hi achchha lekh likha hai .'' wanamala ka munh bana- ''chori ka kam hai, to achchha kyon n hoga . khud we tin lain nahin likh sakate . ek roj aaye the . 'indiya tude' patrika ko mere yahan aakar mang le gaye the . usi ki nakal mar di hai . wah usaki hansi udati huee boli- ''aise hi hain, baudam taip ke . ek roj subah-subah dibba le petrol mangane aa gaye the, gidagida rahe the petrol ke liye .'' meri samajh men bholababu ke prati wanamala ki chid samajh se pare thi . chid ka karan yah bhi shayad tha ki bhola ki samajh aur baten tark se pare, jhoothi aur golamal hoti thin . wanamala hi nahin, sare log usaka majak udate the . doosare yah ki kursi par chahe jo bhi ho, bhola usaka piththu huaa karata tha . usaki khyati isi roop men thi . kaee logon ki shikayat thi ki parikshaon ke kuchh rupaye unhen diye nahin gaye the apane munhafat swabhaw ke anusar mainne wanamala ke samane hi bhola ko isi wrtti ke liye fatakar diya tha . usane wanamala ko narajagi se dekha tha aur jhidaki lagaee thi . wanamala, nilanjana aur any sabhi ko aisi shikayaten thin, par munh kholane se log sankoch karate the . us dauran sab kuchh thik chala siway isake ki wanamala ki sangat aur chahat men jab-tab main subaha, rata, dopahar darata-darata bhi ghar ya kanlej use fon par baithata . kaee bar mamala thik-thik rahata, lekin kabhi-kabhi yah fon jhagade ka karan ban jata . usaka sooja huaa munh aur berukha goongapan usaka mood mujh par jahir kar jata tha . patrika men hamari foto prshth ke bich men paraspar aalingit sarp-yugmon ki rachanatmak rekhakrti ke sath agal-bagal chhapi thi . jan-boojhakar mainne waisa nahin kiya tha, balki mudrak ki wah apani samajh ya shararat thi . mujhase to kisi se ne kuchh nahin kaha tha, lekin jaroor usake samane logon ne is par chuhal ki hogi . usake ghar bhi us par tir barase honge . patrika ki safalata aur us par garw to pichhe rahe, wanamala ka ukhada mood aur sooja chehara mere samane aata tha . mainne kahin ek roj dekha tha ki shararat se kisi manachale ne foto ke oopar mangal-parinay likhakar fad fenka tha . yah ajib silasila tha ki mere sath se ubharati usaki pratibha meri chhaya se hi wanamala ke liye wyangy aur apaman . pahale hi kara liye dastakhat ke sath hisab bhejakar rupaye wah hajam kar gaya tha . ek roj

ki wajah banati ja rahi thi . isase pahale ki usake hoth aur usaka dil khile, wanamala murajha jati thi . ruthana aur manana, pyar aur wigrah hamare bich sthayi niyam ban gaye the . ek roj ham sath baithe kam kar rahe the . wanamala janati thi ki mera usake sath baithana kam ke alawa bhi ek kam tha . main usase chuhal karata aur mera man use bhi chanchal kar jata . meri pyar ki baton se wichalit wanamala apani parichit ada se boli- ''pliz nai्n na, aise men kam kaise hoga . main uth kar chali jati hoon . anyatha n aap kam kar payenge, n main .'' wah janati thi ki main kisi bhi halat men usase door jane wala nahin tha . adhikar ka aisa aatmawishwas ki is tarah mujhe du् khi kar maja lena usaki aadat ban gaee thi . mainne kaha- '' thik hai mera sath pasand nahin to main hi chala jata hoon.'' mujhe uthata dekh wah boli- ''rahane dijiye, mujhe maloom hai aap nahin jayenge .'' chhed ki muskurahat usake chehare par thi . kaha- ''aur fir aap chale jayenge to ye kam kaun karayega ?'' wanamala ki aankhon men jhankate maine udasi aur kshobh se kaha- ''jane kyon mujhe chot pahuncha kar hi tumhen khushi hoti hai . tum achchhi tarah janati ho ki tumhare bagair men rah nahin sakata . isiliye tum aisa kahati ho . tum apani jagah bani raho, main kabhi n badaloonga . jo jagah mainne chun li hai, wahin bana rahoonga . mujhe aisa lagata hai ki kusoor mere prarabdh ke poorwajanmon ka hai . yad rakhana meri antim sans tumhare nam ko sath lekar jayegi . agale janam men bhi .'' wah mujhe chanchal netron aur hothon ki halki muskan ke sath niharati yoon dekh rahi thi jaise usake samane masoom bachcha baitha main tumhara pichha karata rahoonga .'' wah maje leti hans rahi thi ''are bap re ! tab to aap meri musibat ho jayenge .'' isi dauran anuradha ne kamare men kadam rakha . ham donon chup ho gaye the . wanamala ka mujhe chidane ka mood abhi barakarar tha . us roj wah khush thi . usake samane pratiyogita men chhatron ke likhe nibandhon ka bandal khula huaa tha . anuradha ne baten karate fir chup hote hamen gaur kar liya tha . poochha- ''kya chal raha hai ?'' wanamala ne chapal aankhon se meri aankhon men jhanka aur kaha- ''bata doon, kah doon anuradha maidam se ?'' anuradha ne poochha- ''kya bat hai ? koee khas bat hai kya ?'' wanamala ne shararat se bat badal di . boli- ''kuchh khas nahin re . ye nibandh dekh rahi hoon. kitani galatiyan karate hain ? kya likhate hain kuchh samajh men nahin aata .'' ho . main kah raha tha- ''yad rakho ki ek janam to kya, agale janam men bhi, janmon tak

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kyon-kyon chhipaoon ? main to ise aise hi le jaoongi
tum apani nap ki chappal chhodakar badi saij ke pichhe kyon bhagate ho ?''

******************** najon aur nakharon ke bich roothane aur manane ke dher se prasangon ke bawajood bhi wanamala un dinon mere sath thi . jab hastakshepi aur khoji nigahen n hoti, laeen kliyar hoti to yoon mauj hoti jaise saral bachchon ki tarah ham sath baith baje kar rahe hon . pariksha shuru hone ke dinon men khud prachary nalin ji hamare dhal the . unhen wanamala men koee waisi dilachaspi n thi, jaisi meri thi . unaki upasthiti men unake bahane baten karate ham ek-doosare ki najuk adaon ka jayaja liya karate the . kabhi akhabar se chehara chhipati aur kabhi usake bich se mujhe jhankati thi, kabhi majak men aamalet aur machhali ka jikr kar mere tifin lane wale prasang par chidati wah jab bhi samay nikalata mere sath ekant men patrika ke kam ke bahane baithati . patrika to bahana tha baithane ka . kam to mera hi tha . parikshaon ke us daur men main aur wanamala prachary aur bhola ki anupasthiti men prachary kaksh men sath-sath baith jate aur ghanton kam karate . bich-bich men 'kam karana' dikhaee padane ke liye ise ya use bula bhejate ki ena.si.si. ki riport aap ne di nahin hai, bana kar dijiye ,ya khelakood ki riport abhi tak nahin aaee wagairah . wanamala par likhi gaee prem kawitaon ke bich apani aam kawitayen mila mainne bakayada ek sangrah bana liya tha . kampyootar se pustakakar roop men bani pratiyon ko main us roj bakayada chamakili panniyon men fite se lapet sath le gaya . sanbhawata् us sal ka wah din wanamala ka janmadin hi tha . mainne kaha- ''aaj tumhen meri pustak ka wimochan karana hai .'' lajati usane kaha- ''main bhala kahan itani yogy ki aap ki pustak ka wimochan karoon .'' ''pyari wanamala, mere liye tumase badakar koee nahin . aur fir yah pustak tumhari hi to hai . tumane hi to mujhamen sama ise racha hai .'' wah prasannata se dohari ho gaee . usane fite khole . ek prati mainne use saunpakar kaha- ''nam likhane se shayad gadabad hogi anyatha main pyar ke labjon ke sath tumhara nam likh hota . kaho to likh doon .'' ''ghar men dekhenge to musibat hogi .'' usane kaha . maine chhipakar le jane ki bat kahi to poochha- ''kyon-kyon chhipaoon ? main to ise aise hi le jaoongi.'' sanbhawata् wanamala men apana gauraw ujagar karane ki bhi kamana rahi hogi . fir boli- ''abhi rahane dijiye main bad men yahin le loongi aur padhoongi .'' usi daramyan parikshaon men nakal ke mamale janch rahi udanadasta ki tim aa gaee thi . sabhi mitr the . anant ne hamen dekh liya tha . wapas ghar laut chalane ke usake aagrah

par mainne hichak dikhaee thi . anant ne jaise mamala bhanpate huye kaha tha- ''are chhodo aaj bahut ho gaya . ab maidam ke sath kal baith lena .'' mainne wanamala se bat ki aur saman samet jip ki or bada . wanamala bhawan ke mukhy dwar se bahar nikal hath hilati mujhe wida kar rahi thi . usane poochha- ''kal fir baithana hoga . aap aayenge na .'' mainne kaha- '' han, jaroor aaoonga .'' usaki or niharata use aankhon men kaid kiye main chal pada . doosare din prachary nalinaji ne chutaki li ''aap donon kal kafi der tak jame rahe suna hai . log bata rahe the . ab to achchhi pat rahi hai aap logon men lagata hai .'' unhin dinon khabar mili, shayad usi din ki bhola ko pariksha ke dauran sanstha men upasthiti batakar kahin aur kapiyan janchane ke aarop men nilanbit karane ka aadesh ho gaya hai . soochana jijnyasa ki tarah dan. nalinaji ke prashn ke roop men hi aaee thi .

wanamala ka mooda, usaka wyawahar mere liye rahasyamay tha . wah mujhase mere ekant men kahati kuchh thi aur dikhaee kuchh aur padata tha . samane hone ke saptah ke chha् dinon men se amoonan panch din aise hote jab wanamala ka chehara awasad se sooja dikhaee padata, aankhen udasi ke soonepan se bharin aur mood antasth udasi aur adrshy lachari ki khijh se bhara hota . sab se wichitr to yah ki apani aisi mudra ke sath wah mujhi se nahin, sari bhid se kati rahati . main samajh leta ki ghar men wah bhoochalon se gujar rahi hai . narajagi ki chhoti si bat huee ki usaka aadami mujhe lakshy kar pyara, mohabbata, aashikaee ke aaropon se use noch dalata hoga . jaisi wanamala ki halat hoti thi usase mujhe sandeh hota ki usaka pati use marata-pitata bhi raha hoga . usaki chhabi moodi, ajnyat samasyagrasta, rookhi aur bekar ki akad men jakadi aurat ki huee ja rahi thi . prakatata् main hi aisa grahak tha jo sare kuchh ke bawajood usake pichhe bhagata tha . sab kuchh dekhate aur janate huye bhi n jane kaun si ajnyat prerana thi, jo use rahasyamayata se aur jyada mujhe banndhati thi . wah meri niyati ban gaee thi aur main usake pichhe bhagata ja raha tha . kaee dafa hamare bich ghat rahe ko lakshy kara, wisheshat: meri mayoosi ko lakshy kar log aashcharyapoorwak mujhe dekhate aur samajhate the ki kyon bekar men main usake pichhe apana samay barbad kar raha hoon . ek bar stanf-rum chhodakar jati munh fulaee wanamala ko mainne rokana chaha tha''ruko, tumase kuchh bat karani hai .'' wanamala mujhe anasuna kar bagair ruke chali gaee thi. tab wahan anuradha maujood thi. staf keaur anek log bhi sath baithe huye the. wanamala ka berukha rawaiya dekh bholababu ne un sab ke bich majak men tippani ki thi- ''chhodo yar usako . jab wo tumase bat nahin karati, to bekar kyon tum pichhe pade ho usake . tum apane saij ki dhoondho n ?'' anuradha ki or ingit karate usane kaha tha- ''jo tumhare layak hai, usase tum kyon nahin sanbandh rakhate . ye thik hai tumhare liye.'' mujhe nahin maloom ki bhola ka ka aashay kya raha hoga ? usaki baton men kuchhkuchh to aapasi wrttiyon aur yogyata ki talamel ki bat dikhaee padati thi fir kuchh-kuchh aisi

bhi, jisamen kad-kathi aur stri-purush jananangon ke talamel ka sanket tha . usane kaha tha''tum apani nap ki chappal chhodakar badi saij ke pichhe kyon bhagate ho ?'' kabhi-kabhi bahut ganbhir aur wiwadajanak baten bhi bhid ke watawaran ko anachhuee chhod jati hain . us din waisa hi huaa anyatha bahut bada bawal uth khada hota . mainne anuradha par gaur kiya tha . nishchay to usane use suna aur samajha tha, par kaha kuchh nahin . bholababu praya् wiwadon se door rahata tha, lekin dosti men is tarah ki sanbandhit tippani yada-kada fenk diya karata tha . wanamala se sabhi ki khunnas thi, isaliye jahir hai ki wah tippani mere paksh men aur sadbhawanapoorwak thi . usamen yatharth ka nishchit sanket to tha hi, jo bahut samay ke gopana, gahare nirikshan ke bad achanak yoon wyakt ho utha tha .

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n jane kisi ko imoshanali eksaplait karake unhen kya milata hai ?

''aajakal main dekhati hoon ki kuchh auraten aadamiyon se bhi aage nikali ja rahi hain . anuradha

n jane kisi ko imoshanali eksaplait karake unhen kya milata hai ? mujhe to ye bilakul achchhi nahin lagata .''

********************** meri aankhon ke samane do chhabiyan thin. kahan jinat thi aur kahan yah kahan wanamala ? ek itani saf aur saral ki jise samajhane ki ulajhan hi n thi. doosari yah jise ulajhanon ke bich se gujarakar bhi samajhana mushkil hai. anuradha mere karib bad men aaee thi. usako pahali bar mainne warshon poorw tab dekha tha, jab wah kahin aur huaa karati thi . yooniwarsiti ke kala bhawan ke darawaje par aankhon ko chundhiyati pahali jhalak meri aankhon men ab bhi basi hai . fir oopar us hal ke bahar use mainne paya, jahan kapiyan janchi ja rahi thi . chust ena.si.si. aafisar ki weshabhoosha men usaki jawani ka saundary samaya n pad raha tha . jaise meri nigahon ke samane sundarata ki dewi aa khadi ho . jisaki or bholababu sanket kiya tha, wah anuradha bahut adhik sundar thi . naina, naksh jaise yatnapoorwak tarashe huye, lalachate gulabi honth aur unake bich laharate, moti ki aabha ko mat dete dannton ki chamak . usaka poora badan gulabi aabha se chamak raha tha . chehare par aisi tajagi jo nigahon ko tarotaja kar de . ubhare huye nashile urojon ke sath chapal mudra aur chanchalata ki aisi tarang jo manon sare watawaran ko apani sammohata se bharata, usase bachane ki chunauti de raha tha . kaya chharahari, kad mujhase do inch chhota,

parming kiye yatn se sanware sundar usake sunahare katthaee bal jo dekh-rekh ki niyamit sajsanbhal se hamesha bhasha, aakarshit karate the . sahityak aur rachanatmak kalaon ke prati usaki barik rujhana,

swabhawajany saujany aur winamrata-sara kuchh aisa ki anuradha sabhi ke liye aakanksha aur aakarshan ka kendr thi . aisa bhi nahin ki wah mere prashansakon men nahin thi . wanamala ki tarah usamen bhi yah ahasas tha ki wah wishisht thi . aalatoo-falatu aam stanf ke log use napasand the, jinhen tanakhawah ke kam ki khanapoori aur chalu pathy-pustakon ke alawa kuchh sarokar n tha . anuradha mujhase yah bat kaha karati thi aur meri baten mera gahan anubhawa, barik baten use lubhati bhi thin . mainne anek prasangon men yah anubhaw kiya tha ki wanamala par mera jhukaw use ajib aur napasand lagata tha . wismay aur khijh usaki aankhon se jhankate the . ek bar to wanamala ke rawaiye se mujhe kinchit pareshan dekh wanamala ke samane hi usane wyangy men ek jumala fenk diya tha ''aajakal main dekhati hoon ki kuchh auraten aadamiyon se bhi aage nikali ja rahi hain . n jane kisi ko imoshanali eksaplait karake unhen kya milata hai ? mujhe to ye bilakul achchhi nahin lagata .'' use sunati munh bhulaye ganbhir wanamala yah sunati bahar nikal gaee thi . fir waisa kyon n huaa jaisa bhola kah gaya tha ? shayad isaliye ki chitt aur bhawana se apar sundarata aur komalata ke bawajood bhawy logon ka sath mujhamen kahin nirasha paida karata tha . shayad wah hin bhawana thi, jo yah ahasas paida karati thi ki bhautik suwidha-sanpannata se bhari bhawya, najuk aakrtiyan bhala mujh jaise ganbhir kitabi kide , bhades rahan-sahan aur wastron wale mujh garib ko kya ghas dalegi . shayad yahi raha hoga jo mere sare prabhawon w anukool watawaran deti paristhitiyon aur is warg ki kaminiyon ki mujhamen ruchi ke bawajood unake jyada andar paithane ki meri aakanksha ko daba deta tha . jinat ke mamale men mere sath aisa hi huaa tha . mujhe yad aata hai jinat ke sath ekant men uthana-baithana, kawitaon ka padana-sunana, kawitaon si hi swapnalokiy baten aur param aatmiyata ka ahasasa, ek-doosare ke abhawon ko mahasoosane ki haya, thand ki gunaguni dhoop men sath bahar baith jane aur samay ko pankh laga dene wali niji baton ka daura, roothana-manana aur chulabuli yadakada ki chhedachhad . jaise abhi-abhi ghata ho sab kuchh meri smrtiyon men hai. kanlej ki pikanik par ladake-ladakiyon aur jinata, nilanjana wagairah ke sath tim ek aaramadeh mini-bas men nikali thi . meri apani koee yojana n thi, lekin mujhe wahan anubhaw aur sath men anukool pakar ye dhoondhate huye mere ghar aa pahunche the . us samay to patni bhi yuwa hi thi . manakar taiyar kar hamen bhi sath le chalane ka aagrah tha . aur is tarah ham dhar aur mandu ki yatra par nikal pade the . raste men filmi antakshari aur filmi ganon ki dhoomdham men main bhi shamil tha . bhid men bhi jinat meri aankhon ka chunbak thi aur mere man se wah apana dil chaspa kiye huye mujhe har pal wishesh banaye ja rahi thi .

mandu men bihi ke pedon aur purani dharmashala-numa mandir ke bich hamara dera tha . rasoee ki taiyariyann chal rahi thi ki jinat ne mujhe toka . jaise any sathi, meri patni usake liye anupasthit the, jinat ne mujhase kaha- ''chaliye na, yahan baithe boriyat hogi, apan kahin tahal kar aate hain .'' ham donon bhid se bahar yoon tahalate rahe jaise sath tahalane ke liye hi banaye gaye hon . ujada sa purana khandahar sa dharmashala-numa mandir-parisar dekha, sookhi jhadiyon se bhare ujad khetanuma patharon men tahalate rahe, nirmal bachchon ki tarah batiyate rahe aur yoon ghoom-fir kar ham sath laute the . khana parosane-khane, ghoomane aur batiyane ke daurana, aur fir dhar ke mandir ke parisaron men ghoomate, bhid ke bich aur bhid se alag ham yoon sath rahe jaise bhid ke sath ham nahin, balki hamare sath bhid aaee ho . puratatwik mandir ke andar prawesh karane men use jhijhak thi . wah musalaman thi aur shayad yah bhay raha ho ki galati se bhi agar usake musalaman hone ki bat wahan ujagar ho jati hai, to pareshani ho sakati thi . un dinon waise bhi bhagawan ya khuda ko lekar nahin balki khandahar ho chale mandiron ki milkiyat ko lekar rajaniti chal rahi thi. kabhi-kabhi to aisa lagata jaise mahanton aur mullaon ke jhagadon se bhayabhit hokar wah ek apani jagah chhodakar anrtadhan ho gaya hai jise ek khuda ke aur doosara bhagawan ke nam se pukara karata tha. jinat ka astitw mere sath juda tha . ham donon hindu ya musalaman hone se pare kahin utane oopar the, jahan dharmandhata se dhundhalaee nazaron ki pahunch namumakin thi. jinat ka bhay door karata main use mandir ke shilp ki barikiyan dikhata raha, mithun-rat moortiyan dikhata raha. andar-bahar mere sath chipaki jinat nisankoch un palon ka aanand uthati jijnyasa se unhen dekhati aur samajhati rahi. use maine samajhaya tha ki mandir ke bahari aawaran men tarasha wah shilp is sach ko darshane wala tha ki yah sansar chahe jitana bemani dikh pade lekin isi se gujarakar wahan jaya ja sakata hai jo adrshy aur lokatit hai. wah sapane sa jhooth hoga bhi to us jadoogar ke liye jisane use racha hai. usake sapane ka hissa bane is jagat aur usake basindon ke liye to yah sansar hi jamini sachaee hai. budi्dhamati jinat bahut udar wicharon wali aur sankirnataon se koson door thi . musalaman kahi jati bhi suruchi-sanpannata, swabhaw aur sanskrti men hajaron-hazar hindu striyon se wah behatar thi . itani ki use pakar mujh sa koee bhi hindu apane ko garwonnat samajhata . us din pikanik ki gadi ko lautate bahut rat ho gaee thi . wah din mere liye madak behoshi ka tha . wah rat mere liye aur shayad jinat ke liye bhi gudagudate swapnon ki thi . us din nilanjana bhi sath rahi aaee thi -sarala, saumy aur winit . lanbi, chharahari sundar kaya jisaki aankhon ki ghani kali putaliyann itani aakarshak thin ki kalima bhi usase fisal kar chhitak pade . lekin nilanjana se parasparik akrtrim-aakarshan aur sanbandhon ke bawajood wah din aur rat jinat ke the . sath ke un kshanon men jinat aur main yoon jude ki usake bad ham ek-doosare se judate hi chale gaye the. meri aankhon ke samane do chhabiyan thin. kahan jinat thi aur kahan yah kahan wanamala ? ek itani saf aur saral ki jise

samajhane ki ulajhan hi n thi. doosari yah jise ulajhanon ke bich se gujarakar bhi samajhana mushkil hai.

______________________________________________________________

wah tasalli priyahari ka kewal bhram tha
witrshna aur rosh se wah bhid ke bich chillaye ja rahi thi - ''jis sali ko dhanyawad tak jnyapit karana nahin

aata, do shabd apane man se likh nahin sakati, use aap bich men le aaye ?''

****************

kuchh ek kametiyon men khasakar akadamika, sahityik kametiyon men wanamala ka nam donon ki aghoshit rajamandi se priyahari ke nam ke sath juda tha . wah khud kala, wijnyan aur wanijy ki parishadon ka samanwayak aur paramarshak tha . rima, nilanjana aur wanamala in parishadon ki karyakari prabhari thin . auron se priyahari ke sanbandh wyaktigat aur oopar the. baten hoti, wichar wimarsh hota. adaon ke sath sahaj chuhal hoti aur we milate baithate the lekin wanamala ki aadaton se tang priyahari usase bat karane ki ab koshish bhi nahin karata tha. baithakon ki soochana kagaj se ya fir aur kisi ke jariye bhijawa di jati thi. us ek din bans ke khali ekant chaimbar men subah sade nau baje nilanjana, rima aur priyahari ekatrit the. wanamala ko to subah hi apani kaksha ke samay aa jana tha par wah nahin aaee thi. wahan maujood sab ke bich sab-kuchh sahaj chal raha tha. nilanjana priyahari ke aur priyahari nilanjana ke sath hamesha sahaj aur prasann rahe hain. donon ki har mulakat ek aatmik shanti ke sath khatm hoti thi. donon ke kamakaji sanbandha, jo dhire-dhire niji ho chale the bagair kisi tanaw ka ehasas karaye maje men bitate the. kisi bhi kameti men nilanjana ko sath rakha jana wanamala ko sakhat napasand tha. in dinon bhi wanamala ka mood priyahari ki taraf berukhi ka ijahar karate yahi dikhane ka tha. wanamala jaise janaboojhakar der se aaee thi. nilanjana ko kagaj-kalam saunp priyahari rooparekha likhawane men wyast tha. bich-bich men aapasi baten bhi uname jari thin. donon ki nigahen jab-tab takara jati thin. sab kuchh thik chal raha tha. achanak wanamala prakat huee. aadat ke mutabik usane der se aane, baithak ki soochana ke bare men, aur isi tarah kuchh ek baton par usane aate hi tippani ki thi. nilanjana aur rima donon ki aankhon ne kautuk se naraj wanamala ki adayen dekhin. jaise we kah rahi hon ki lijiye, ab ye aa gaee aur ab shanti gaee. wanamala ke poochhane par ki kya chal raha hai, usi ki shaili men usane jalane nihayat tatasth bhaw aur kuchh berukhi liye priyahari ne use sankshep men samajha diya.

nilanjana ki or usane dekha jisaki aankhen use milin. priyahari ne kaha - ''nila, chalo samay nasht n karo, aage likho.'' wanamala ne shikayat bhari prashn karati naraj aankhon se pahale ghoorakar priyahari ko dekha fir witrshna aur upeksha se nilanjana ke chehare par najar dalate usake hath se rajistar aur kagaj jhatakakar chhin liye. wanamala jaise hukm de rahi ho priyahari se boli - ''aap boliye, mai likhoongi.'' usaki wani men drd sankalp tha. usaki mudra adabhut aatmawishwas se bhari thi. kisi men himmat n huee ki use chunauti de sake. is achanak dakhal se rima ki aankhen aashchary se fail gaee thin. nilanjana ki aankhe jiname lachari bhari thi priyahari ki aankhon se pal bhar ko takaraeen. usaki sundar badi-badi aankhon ki gahari mayawi putaliyon men shikayat thi ki mere sath aisa kyon hota hai. nilanjana janati thi ki usake sath hokar bhi priyahari wanamala ka tha. idhar priyahari nilanjana ko chahata aur usaka sath dena chah kar bhi sath n de pa raha tha. wanamala ke apratyashit aatank se sabhi aatankit aur stabdh the. priyahari kuchh n kah saka tha kyonki usake dil ne wanamala ke dil ka gussa pad liya tha, jisamen likha tha - ''is nilanjana ki yah himmat ki hamari anaban men mauka dekh yah bich men sendh mar jaye ? aur priyahari tuma! yad rakho, tum par adhikar mera hai. char din bat kya band ho gaee, tumane ise lift de di.'' jo kahana tha wanamala ne bagair bole priyahari se kah diya. watawaran ki asahajata ke bawajood priyahari ko dili tasalli huee. yani yah ki wanamala par priyahari hi nahin jan deta, wah bhi us marati hai. itana ki kisi aur ka usake pas bhatakana bhi use napasand hai. priyahari ke bich ke rishton ka ehasas tha. nilanjana n jane kis mitti ki bani thi. kabhi usaki eershya pragat huee, n shikayata. chupachap wah sara kuchh dekhati, sahati aur apane ko pichhe khinch leti thi. pichhe khich lene ke bawajood sanbandha, wani ki madhurata, wyawahar men kuchh badalaw n hota halanki usaki masoom khoobasoorat aankhon men pas aane ka wah pashopesh prashn ki tarah awashy hota jo priyahari ko sharminda kar jata tha. priyahari ke man men kamana hoti ki kabhi nilanjana bhi widroh kar man men usake prati chhipe us apanape ko pragat kare, jo usake man men tha. lekin nahin, wah nilanjana ke swabhaw men bhi nahin tha. wanamala ke sath fir do-tin din tak baithana-batiyana chalata raha aur karyakramon ki rooparekha banati rahi. priyahari aur wanamala ke bich se ab rima aur nilanjana gayab paee ja rahi thin. wanamala chahati thi ki samanwit udghatan hone par bhi choonki wibhag aur wishay usaka tha, wah hi manch par priyahari ke sath rahe. shesh donon mahilaon ki bhoomika wahan n rahe. priyahari use samajhata raha ki choonki yah aayojan samanwit hai, nilanjana aur rima ki bhi bhagidari wahan rahane chahiye. usane samajhaya ki ya to wishay ka pratipadan wanamala kare aur sanchalan nilanjana kare - ya fir sanchalan khud wanamala kare, aur wishay ka pratipadan nilanjana ko saunp de. wanamala isase roosht aur asahamat thi lekin priyahari ki khatir wah man gaee thi. donon ke bich ek bar fir aatmiyata aur wishwas ka us baithak ke bad fir baithakon ki jaroorat hi n huee. nilanjana ko wanamala aur

rishta jiwit ho chala tha. usase priyahari ko tasalli thi. lekin kahan ? wah tasalli priyahari ka kewal bhram tha. agale din subah das baje priyahari apane mitr w sathi lekin afasar nalinaji ke pas karyakram ki rooparekha aur taiyari ke bare men charcha karane baitha tha. wanamala apani klas men thi lekin nilanjana priyahari ke sath baithi thi. nalinaji ne sab dekha - suna fir kagaj par ek jagah ishara karate huye kaha - ''ise katiye, sanchalan wanamala nahin karegi, aap karenge.'' priyahari ne samajhaya ki wanamala ki sahamati se yah rooparekha bani hai. wah achchhi hai, yogy hai isaliye awasar use hi den aur usaka hi nam rahane den. lekin nalinaji mane nahin. unhonne kaha - ''aapase behatar yahan koee nahin hai. aap nahin katate to main hi apani kalam se kat deta hoon.'' nalinaji wanamala ke mijaj se achchhi tarah wakif the. bole - ''wah kuchh n kahegi, main use samajha doonga. wah kahe to kah dijiyega ki nalinaji ne aisa kiya hai.'' is bich wanamala ka naya shubhachintak yar wipul bhi aa pahuncha tha. usaki or kisi ne tawajjuh dene ki jaroorat n samajhi. apane ko upekshit pa idhar-udhar jhankati apani jijnyasa liye wah do minat men hi wahan se chalata bana tha. nalinaji ke kamare se nikalakar priyahari stanf-room men gaya to paya ki tab-tak kala sankay ke logon ki bhid wahan jam gaee thi. wanamala ke bagal men kursi jamaye wipul baitha huaa tha. priyahari ne wanamala se mukhatib ho prashansa ke kuchh shabd kahe the. nalinaji se charcha ke dauran wanamala ke n hone ka upalanbh priyahari ne usase kiya. wanamala ko yah soochana priyahari ne di ki khud usaki asahamati ke bawajood nalinaji ne aagrahapoorwak sanchalan se wanamala ka nam katakar usaka apana nam rakh diya hai. wanamala se usane kaha ki - ''ab jao tum hi bat kar lo aur samajhao .'' wanamala pratikriyawihin sthiti men priyahari ki or ghoorati dekh rahi thi. isase pahale ki wanawala jawab de, usaki bagal men baitha wipul chilla utha - ''rahane dijiye janaba, yahan to aap maidam ke tarifon ke aap pul bandh rahe hai, aur wahan ? wahan main baitha tha. mere samane aapane khud inaka nam katawa diya hai aur yahan aakar baten bana rahe hain.'' jahir tha ki wipul ka makasad priyahari ko jhootha aur makkar siddh karana tha. wipul ke jhooth par priyahari naraj ho utha. usaki chalakiyan wah samajhata tha. usane wipul ko jor se danta ki wah jhooth bol raha hai. wanamala ki or mukhatib ho usane bataya ki nilanjana wahan maujood thi. usase wanamala poochh sakati hai ki kya baten hueen. priyahari ki kursi ke pichhe nilanjana aa khadi huee thi. sahaj winamrata me kaha ki 'han priyahari thik kah rahe hain.' shayad nilanjana ki kaksha rahi hogi. wah bahar chali gaee thi. yah sanyog hi tha ki bachate-bachate bhi nilanjana har bar wanamala aur priyahari ke bich upasthit huee ja rahi thi. wanamala ko achanak gusse ka daura pada. nila ka hona to kya usaka namollekh tak wanamala ke tan-badan ko jalakar rakh deta tha. halanki wah wanamala ka bhram tha, lekin usane mundi hilaee aur apani

nishchay hi aisa sandeh usamen aag ki tarah bhadak utha tha ki zaroor nila aur priyahari ke bich kuchh aisa tha jisake chalate janaboojhakar usake khilaf sazish rachi gaee thi . aise men is wakt nilanjana ka jikr wanamala ke prati nishtha ki bhawana ke sakshy aur safaee ke liye priyahari kare yah usaki sahan-sima ke bahar tha. wanamala krodh se bekabu ho chali thi. poore unmad se wah chikh padi - ''rahane dijiye, main kya kuchh nahin samajhati priyahari. karyakram ka sara bojh mujh par dal rahe hain aur mera hi nam aapane katawa diya? kam aap mujhase karate hain, mithi-mithi tarif karate hain aur paksh doosaron ka lete hain. main sab samajhati hoon agar we itani hi kabil hain to inhin se hi sara kam kyon nahin kara lete ?'' priyahari stabdh aur lachar dikhaee pada. wah wanamala ko hi chahata tha, usaka paksh leta tha, lekin wanamala ki galatafahami us wakt wah door n kar saka. jahir tha ki makool mauka dekh wanamala ko kisi aur ne bhi khoob bhadaka rakha tha. usake man men yah dharana bo di gaee thi ki priyahari use bewakoof banata hai - daraasal chahata wah wanamala ko nahin, nilanjana ko hai. eershya se bhari wanamala ka swar bahut ooncha tha. use jaise unmad ka daura pada ho. witrshna aur rosh se wah bhid ke bich chillaye ja rahi thi ''jis sali ko dhanyawad tak jnyapit karana nahin aata, do shabd apane man se likh nahin sakati, use aap bich men le aaye ?'' wanamala aape se bahar thi bich men aapasi sanbandhon ke kshanon ka sanket karati wah chikh-chikhakar priyahari ki kamajoriyan ujagar karane utaru thi. waisa karane men kuchh kshan sanbandhon ki sari maryadayen usane darakinar kar di. wah chilla rahi thi - ''akele men yahi priyahari meri tarif karate hain, chapaloosi karate hain aur bahar ? dekh lo, yahi mera hi patta katate hain. us sali nilanjana men aisa kya rakha hai jo ye usaka paksh lete hai.'' wanamala ke thanda hone ki aasha men ab tak priyahari chupachap dhiraj rakhe tha lekin n tham rahi wanamala ki anargal baton, aaropon se fir wah bhi uttejit aur aakramak ho utha tha. usane samajhana chaha tha ki wanamala samajhane ki koshish kyon nahin karati. wipul jhooth bol raha hai aur use wyarth hi bhadaka raha hai. priyahari ne use samajhana chaha ki wah chikh kyon rahi hai ? chikhati huee auron ko gali deti apamanit kyon kar rahi hai ? aakhir we bhi sah-yojakon men hain. unhen gali dena aur kosana thik nahin hai. rima wahan maujood thi. usane priyahari ke kathan ki tasadik karate huye kaha ki priyahari thik to kah rahe hain. inhonne kuchh nahin kiya hai. jinhonne kiya hai, jo kahana hai unase jakar kaha jaye. wanamala ko n kuchh sunana tha aur n usane kisi ki suni. gusse men ubalati wah priyahari ko hi kosati, pratadit karati usase jhagadati rahi. yah khayal karake ki yah wahi stri hai jise main chahata hoon, jisaka paksh leta hoon aur tarif kiya karata hoon, priyahari ka man pida se bhar utha. wanamala ka swabhaw aisa hi tha. use samajhane ki koshish karata priyahari wahin apane ko apamanit hota dekh aatmaglani se pidit hota subakakar ro utha tha. is bich nilanjana fir laut aaee thi. wanamala ke rosh aur priyahari ki lachar dayaniyata ko wah maun dekh rahi thi. priyahari ko wah santwana deti dhadhas bandha rahi thi.

priyahari ko is bat ka bhi afasos tha ki dher se log maujood the, lekin aisi awastha men usaka paksh le wanamala ko samajhane koee aage n aaya. yah thik hai ki wanamala se priyahari ke sanbandh kuchh aur the lekin tab bhi apane hi un sathi sadasyon ka apamana, jo use behad chahate the. priyahari ko kshobh se bhar raha tha. priyahari nila se, rima se aur wahan maujood any mitron se yah kahata sahanubhooti ki ummid tha ki we khud sochen ki wanamala ke liye us prakar ki ugrata, gali dena, tatha abhradata ka wyawahar kya uchit tha ? kuchh der bad yah dekh kar ki sachamuch usake wyawahar ne priyahari ko dukhi aur sabhi ko stabdh kar diya hai, wanamala ka rukh achanak palat gaya. - ''maine koee galati nahin ki, waisa kuchh nahin kaha.'' usane safaee di

apane ko jhootha thaharaya jata dekh priyahari ne wanamala ko is bat ke liye dhikkara ki ek to wah jhooth kah rahi hai, doosare wah sach ko eemanadari se swikar karate huye galati manane se katara rahi hai. usane wanamala ki aaradhya kali mata ki duhaee dete huye poochha ki wah sach bataye ki kya usane nilanjana ke liye 'jis sali ko' jaise foohad shabd kahe ya nahin ? ab wanamala sikudane lagi thi aur bachaw chahati thi. bajay winamrata se sach ko swikarane aur sunane ki bajay wah isi bat par fir jhagad padi. chhoti si bat men priyahari dewi dewataon ki to sakshy men kyon lana chahata hai ? usane isi bat par fir priyahari ki khoob lanat-malamat kar dali. andar ki bat yah ki ek to nilanjana ko sath lena hi wanamala par bhari tha, doosare nilanjana ke chakkar men wanamala ka mahatw ghatana wanamala ke rosh ka karan tha. is par bhi yah ki priyahari ab bhi bajay wanamala ko samajh pane ke nilanjana ka paksh leta wanamala se lad raha tha. wanamala ka swabhaw sabhi janate hain. koee usase n ulajha. yah bat alag hai ki tarah logon ne

ki usake jane ke bad sabhi ne usaki aalochana ki. priyahari kshubdh tha. wanamala ko apane par adhikar dene ka hi ek kufal yah apaman tha. priyahari se hamesha kaha -''aap bekar hi usaki tarif karate hain, mahatw dete hai, ab dekh liya n ?'' us din bad men bhayanak udasi se ghira priyahari rahat pane nilanjana ke kamare men jakar baitha. wahan aur koee n tha. nilanjana ki aankhon men jhankate priyahari ne apane aahat man ki pida usase kahi aur waisa karate-karate fir ro pada. nilanjana ne use tasalli di - ''chhodiye na, bhool jaiye jo huaa. usaka to swabhaw hi aisa hai. sab janate hain use. aap bhi to samajhate nahin aur main hoon ki shayad aapako samajhane layak nahin.'' priyahari ki udasi se nilanjana ka man bhi udas ho gaya tha. wah use prasann rakhana chahati thi lekin rakhati to rakhati kaise ? wah wanamala nahin thi. wah poora din priyahari ke liye bhayanak awasad ka tha. rah-rahakar usake chitt men wanamala ke sath ki smrtiyan hari ho uthati thin. use afasos tha ki wanamala use kyon nahin samajh pati ? usaka ji karata tha ki wanamala se sanbandhon ke prayashchit men wah apani wyatha ko sath liye pran de-de. yah wichitr tha ki us tarah apamanit hone par bhi usaka man wanamala ko hi yad kar raha tha. wah usake samane hi ro kar use pighalane ki ummid rakhata tha aur use manana chahata tha. wah chahata tha ki nilanjana ko lekar wanamala ke man men jagi

eershya aur sandeh ko wah thanda kar sake. usaka man bechain tha, pida aur chhatapatahat se bhara huaa tha.

__________________________________________________________

'' mujhe inase koee shikayat nahin hai . bas inase itana kah dijiye ki fon karen to samay dekhakar kiya karen.''
jama karate ho kyon rakibon ko ye tamasha huaa gila n huaa. dard minntakase duaa n huaa

main n achchha huaa bura n huaa॥ - mirza galib **********

us rat isi prayas men priyahari ne fon par wanamala se apani pida kahani chahi. wah kuchh n sunana chahati thi. dobara fir fon par kuchh baten hueen. wanamala ne kaha tha ''thik hai, aapane kaha mainne sun liya. aapane sara kuchh subah kah to diya tha. ab kyon sanyog se is wakt ghar me nahin tha aur bachchon ke man men sandeh n paida kar de. fon ko lekar usake ghar pahale bhi bawal ho chuka tha. idhar priyahari ka man adhir tha ki wah wanamala se khoob lanbi bat kare. utani jab-tak usaki baten wanamala ke man ka mail door n kar den. bahar jakar usane tisara fon kiya. kaha - ''wanamala tumhen meri bat sunani hogi. tum nahin janatin ki mere man par kya bit rahi hai . kya main jan de doon tabhi tumhen tasalli hogi ?'' usane shikayat ki ki wanamala ne usaki bat par wishwas kyon nahin kiya? usane bataya ki wanamala ka nam usake wirodh ke bawajood nalinaji ne apani kalam se kata tha. usane samajhana chaha ki wipul ne jhooth bolakar use bhadakaya tha . wanamala bhi shayad subah ki ghatana se tanawagrast aur kshubdh thi. wanamala ke tasalli dene ke bawajood ki ''jo huaa, wah huaa. use bhool jaiye. aap kah rahe hai to man leti hoon. mujhe koee shikayat nahin hai. ab fon rakh dijiye.'' priyahari use kah raha tha ki ''wanamala, shayad kal main n aaoon. shayad kabhi tumhare samane n aaoon. mujhe n jane kaisa-kaisa lag raha hai. main apani aalamari ki chabi bhej doonga. aage ki rooparekha ab tum khud bana lena.'' wanamala par jo bhi asar huaa ho, priyahari us rat so n saka tha. usaka awasad-grast chitt rootha raha tha. agale din man ko sanbhalata n chahate huye bhi wah apane kam par bar-bar fon kar rahe hain ?'' wanamala bhayabhit thi ki bar-bar ki ghanti kahin usake pati ke jo

gaya. jane ka karan shayad kam utana nahin tha, jitana us stri ke chehare ko dekhana aur us chehare par khud ke prati laut aaye kalpit wishwas ki ummid tha. nalinaji subah hi mil gaye priyahari ne unhen bataya ki wanamala ka nam katana kitane anarth bat karan ban gaya aur us par kya-kya gujari. usane aagrahapoorwak kaha ki ab bat tabhi ban sakati hai, jab we khud wanamala ko akele men bulayen aur sachchaee batayen. priyahari ke bahar jate hi nalinaji ne wanamala ko bula bheja hoga. kaksha ki or jate huye usane gaur kiya ki wanamala hi nahin, usake sath wipula, anuradha, bhola, wirag wagairah ki tim liye nalinaji ke gird upasthit thi. sanbhawata् nalinaji dwara bulaye jane ka matalab bhay men doobi wanamala ne yah lagaya hoga ki awashy priyahari ne usake kal ke durwyawahar ki shikayat ki hogi. yah kewal priyahari janata tha ki waisa nahin tha. wanamala ise nahin janati thi. isiliye wah s-sandeh apana paksh majaboot karane bhid ke sath gaee thi. sahaj roop men priyahari ja khada huaa tha. use dekhate hi wanamala naraj ho nalinaji se boli - ''dekhiye, kal itani chhoti si bat par inhonne mujhase jhagada kiya. itane bade widwan hain, lekin jara si bat par mujhase kali mata ke sakshy par utar aaye aur mujhe lajjit karana chaha. aap hi bataiye ki kya yah inhen shobha deta hai.'' wahan par pahale se hi jama bhid dekhakar aur apane khilaf watawaran ki sanbhawana pakar priyahari us samay ulte kadam laut aaya tha. aur-sabon ke bahar nikal jane ke bad fir se nalinaji ne use bulaya tha. priyahari ko ehasas tha ki bhid lekar wanamala ne jaroor apane ko bachane priyahari ki ulti-sidhi shikayat ki hogi. usake wyawahar ke chalate pahale se hi wah behad wyathit aur aahat tha. isase pahale ki nalinaji kuchh kahate priyahari ne apana dukhi man unake samane, balki unake bahane wahan us samay baithi wanamala ke samane khol diya. priyahari ne kaha - ''mere pas kahane ko ab kuchh nahin hai. wanamala par mera wishwas hai. ye jo bhi kahati hain, use meri taraf se bhi sach man liya jaya. inaki sari shikayaten aap man len aur mujhe jo chahe saja den. main hi jhootha aur doshi hoon.'' nalinaji hanse. bole - ''are waisi koee bat nahin. mainne sab samajh liya hai aur samajha diya hai. koee galatafahami ab nahin hai. aap log nishchint roop se mil-julakar kam kijiye.'' bhid men kuchh aur najar aati wanamala priyahari ke pahunchate hi tab mano pachchyatap aur lajjashil nari ke sankoch ki mudra men thi. usake thik bagal wah baith gaya tha. wanamala kuchh n boli. donon sankoch men gade ja rahe chup the. donon ko lag raha tha ki kahin kuchh galati unhonne khud hi ki hai, jisaka pachhatawa liye is tarah we yahan baithe hain. bad men nalinaji se hi priyahari ko maloom huaa ki us subah wipul ne hi unase shikayat ki thi ki rat men priyahari ne maidam ko fon kar - karake pareshan kar dala tha. priyahari samajh gaya ki usaka diwanagi se bhara kshobha, usaka awasad wanamala ko bhayabhit kar gaya hoga ki kahin usaka priyahari sachamuch kuchh kar n baithe. isiliye wanamala ne shayad wipul ko gawah banane ki garaj se rat ya subah apane bhay aur fon ki bat bata di hogi.

nalinaji ne bataya ki wanamala ko bulakar unhonne fon ke mamale men khulasa karane kaha tha. wanamala ne jawab diya tha ki unake - mere bich jab yahan ki bat saf ho gaee thi to priyahari ne rat men use fon kyon kiya? nalinaji ke anusar wanamala ko usase koee shikayat nahin thi. nalinaji ke yah poochhane par ki kya fon par koee galat ya aapattijanak baten ki gaee thin, wanamala ne kaha tha ki aapatti-janak kuchh n tha. kewal yah ki bar-bar afasos jahir kar rahe the aur nam nahin katawane par apani safaee de rahe the. rahasy ki bat jo nalinaji ne ujagar ki, wah yah thi ki wanamala ro rahi thi. usaka kahana tha ki priyahari jab fon karate hain to mere ghar men pati ko sandeh hota hai ki mera inase prem hai aur fon par main inase pyar ki baten karati hoon. usane bataya tha ki - ''mere pati shakki hain aur mujh par wyangy karate hai . isiliye ghar men meri musibat ho jati hai. nalinaji ke samane antata् wanamala ne priyahari ki aankhon men jhank kar yah kabool kiya tha ki - '' mujhe inase koee shikayat nahin hai . bas inase itana kah dijiye ki fon karen to samay dekhakar kiya karen.'' nalinaji wahan maujood jaroor the lekin wanamala jaise yah bat unase nahin priyahari se kah rahi ho. priyahari ko pas pakar wah sankuchit thi lekin usaki aankhen afasos bhari shikayat se bhari huee thin. priyahari ka bhi man us aatmiy sath men halka ho chala tha. fir bhi man hi man wah soch raha tha ki wanamala dil se chahe jitani saf ho, sanbandhon men wishwasaniy nahin hai. ghabarahat men wah aapa kho baithati hai aur ''nahin batane ki baten'' ujagar kar jati hai. usaka man bad men nirmal ho jata hai. wah apane kiye par pachhatati hai. lekin un doosare logon ka kya jo usake gusse ko nafarat men badalane ki chahat rakhate hain ? wanamala priyahari ki aankhon men yah sara kuchh pad rahi thi. sari pida ke bawajood priyahari ka man wanamala ki wafadari aur tarif se bhi bhar utha tha. yah kya kam bat thi ki wighn-santoshiyon ki koshishon ke bawajood usake man men shikayaten jad nahin jama pa rahi thin. usaki yahi masoom ada priyahari ke ladakhadate man ko fir se sahara deti wanamala se bandh deti thi. aise sankat men use hamesha wanamala ka wah aagrah yad aata jo kabhi behad ekant ke aatmiy kshanon men in shabdon men kiya gaya tha - ''n jane kyon mujhamen yah kamajori hai ki gusse men main apana aapa kho baithati hoon. tab mujhe hosh nahin rahata ki main kya-kya bak jati hoon.'' usane kaha tha ''aap to aisi baton ko bilkul man men n liya kijiye. mujhe khud yad nahin rahata ki main kyakya kah gaee thi. bad men yad karake main pachhatati hoon. aap mujhe maf kar diya kijiye.'' majabooriyon ke bich gusse aur pachhatawe ka khel hi tha, jisane wanamala aur priyahari ko ek-doosare se door n jane diya aur jo ant tak chalata raha. priyahari ki us din ki bhoomika tayashuda thi. wanamala ke sath usake sanbandh bahar chahe jaise bhi dikhaee padate hon antarang taur par behad aatmiy aur wishwas ke the. pahale hi kaee bar priyahari ne wanamala se kah rakha tha ki us par usaka poora bharosa hai. agar aatmiy baton ko ujagar kar wah shikayat bhi karati hai to wah man lega ki usaki kismat kharab hai. wah usake nam sareaam kabool kar lega ki jo bhi wah kahati hai, use bina wirodh kiye sach man liya jaye kyonki usaki khushi men hi priyahari ki apani khushi hai. us din bhi priyahari ne fir waisa hi kiya tha. usake samarpan ne wanamala ki aatma ko jaga diya tha. nalinaji ke samane us

ekant mulakat men wanamala ka sara gussa kafoor ho gaya tha. afasos kahin usake andar bhi tha. usake man ka yah sandeh door ho chuka tha ki shayad usake pichhale din ke kharab wyawahar par priyahari ne shikayat ki hogi . mail n wanamala ke man men tha, aur n priyahari ke man men . nalinaji ne priyahari ke samane hi wanamala se poochha tha - ''basa, itani si hi galafahami thi n !'' ''koee khas bat nahin thi, mujhe inase koee shikayat nahin hai'' - wanamala ne jawab diya. chuhal bhari najaron se priyahari ki or dekhate usane joda tha ki ''bas inase itana kah dijiye ki mujhe bar-bar fon n kiya karen.'' nalinaji ne hansate huye kaha tha ki ''thik hai, ye ab aapako fon nahin karenge.'' is par wanamala ne jhat safaee fir pesh ki ki ''fon ke liye mana main nahin karati, lekin bas itana dhyan rakhen ki galat samay par fon n kiya karen.'' wahan se we donon uthe to man ekadam halka tha un donon ki yah khushakismati thi ki sari bhid ke wirooddh unaki jodi nalinaji ko many thi. usase unhen n koee shikayat thi, n eershya thi. yah bat wanamala aur priyahari hi janate the. isiliye nalinaji ka samane hona unake liye badha nahin suwidha hi thi. we inake sanbandhon ke liye dhal ka kam bhi karate the. apeksha ke wiparit auron ki muhim us din dhari ki dhari rah gaee.

jo aayojan prastawit tha, wah huaa. wahi aayojan tha ya wah koee bad ka aayojan yah yad nahin. shayad kuchh bad ka raha ho. us din wanamala sanchalan kar rahi thi. sanbhawata् samapan karati-karati wah nalinaji ko antim udbodhan ke liye aamantrit karane ja hi rahi thi ki nalinaji ne priyahari ki or ingit kar wanamala ko ishara kiya ki wah use aamantrit kare. wanamala ke man men kya tha kaha nahin ja sakata. usane priyahari ki or najar dal ghoshana ki ki ''priyahari bhi shayad kuchh kahana chahate hai. main ab unhen aamantrit karati hoon ki we aayen aur apane bat kahen.'' priyahari ko yah atapata laga. sare log ek achchhe chintak aur prakhar wakta ke roop men use janate the. use yah bat nagawar gujari ki nalinaji ke yad dilane par use tasalli ke liye bulaya jaye. usane apani jagah par uthakar saf kah diya ki usane kabhi yah nahin chaha ki use bulaya jaya. shayad sanyojika ko kuchh galatafahami huee hai. ''mujhe kuchh nahin kahana hai'' kahakar wah apani jagah baith gaya. nalinaji aur sari sabha ne priyahari ke bat men chhipe kshobh ko pakad liya tha. aayojan khatm ho jane ke bad stanf ke anek sathiyon ne kaha ki wanamala ne janaboojhakar priyahari ko apamanit karane waisa kiya tha, jo bahut galat tha. sabhi ko usake wyawahar par aashchary aur afasos tha. priyahari ne man ki pida chhipakar bat tal di thi. wah samajh gaya tha ki usake prati rosh jatane ka wanamala ka wah ek tarika tha. ''badi moorkh stri hai, use aisa nahin karana tha'' - nalinaji ne priyahari se kaha. achanak galiyare men hi bagal se gujarati wanamala priyahari ke samip aati boli - ''aap bura man gaye lagata hai. baee ganda, n jane kaise main bhool gaee thi. wah to bas yoon hi

munh se nikal gaya tha. mainne janaboojhakar waisa nahin kiya tha. mujhe maf kar dijiye pliza.'' priyahari ke liye yah nirnay karana kathin tha ki kaun si wanamala asali hai ? waha, jo ain mauke par use nicha dikhakar apane man ka mail nikalana chahati hai, ya wah jo pachhatawe se bhari us par tasalli ka maraham lagati hai ? usake liye ab wah abhedy rahasy se bhara ajanabi wyaktitw hoti ja rahi thi. ____________________________________________________________

aadhi roti
nekanami aur poshidagi par dhabbe ka khatara jahan aata dikhaee padata hai, wahan premi ke prati unaki sari wasanayen ke sar par fodana chahati hain. tirohit ho jati hain. apani chhabi bedag sabit karane tab sara thikara we apane premi ya priy purush

**************** wanamala ka sandehaspad wyawahar aur sab ke bich chuhal ya aniyantrit aakrosh men ki gaee wyaktigat tippaniyon se priyahari naraj tha. balki usane narajagi kama, kshobh jyada tha. wah dekhata ki wanamala khud bhi gusse me ki gaee waisi nadaniyon par bad men pachhatati thi. maun ki jami huee barf ko pahale kaun tode yah sochate wah aur wanamala ? kya tum hi maun nahin tod sakate ? aakhir ekant ke waise kshanon men munh fulaye soch men doobi berukh wanamala ke samane aahen bharata priyahari hi us barf ko pighalata jo diwar bani tab tak un donon ke bich adi huee hoti. wah kahane se n chookata ki wanamala itani kroor kyon hai ? tifin ka jikr kar priyahari tane deta ki use to wanamala se aadhi roti ki talab thi, lekin wah itani kanjoos thi ki usaki itani ichchha bhi wah poori n kar saki. ek din apana tifin khol kar baithi wanamala ne priyahari ke samane hi satyajit se aupacharik aagrah kiya - ''aap bhi lijiye.'' saujany se satyajit ne priyahari se aagrah kiya tha - ''aaiye n aap bhi.'' priyahari ne khijh bhari udasi se aachchhadit wanamala ke chehare ko dekha aur satyajit se kaha - ''aagrah aap se kiya gaya hai. mujh se to nahin poochha gaya isaliye nahin loonga.'' priyahari ke waise jawab par wanamala us din bujhe-bujhe chehare aur apani udas aankhon se use dekhati sir jhukaye rah gaee thi. wanamala ko priyahari ki wah bat yad rahi aaee hogi. ek din jab we donon hi akele the, wanamala ne apana tifin khola aur priyahari ko bhi aagrahapoorwak apane sath shamil hone kaha. priyahari ne bhindi ki sookhi sabji ke sath thik aadhi roti li thi. wah to bat ki bat thi. priyahari ke liye wanamala ki roti ka matalab kewal wah sath aur manuhar tha jo wah wanamala se chahata tha. anyatha to wah shakahari jiw is ek-do din apane maun men hi yah kahate aamane-samane baithe hote ki itana bhi guman kya

aashanka se hi usaka khana chhoone se parahej karata tha ki mansahar walon ke tifin ka kya bharosa tha ? n jane kab kya usamen raha aata hoga ? wanamala ke sath tifin bantane us din bhi wah lalayit n tha. bawajood isake use wanamala ki aatmiyata us din achchhi lagi. aadhi roti wali ghatana ke thik bad ka din tha n jane kyon wanamala ka mood ukhada huaa, chehara pashopesh bhara udas aur khijha huaa tha. priyahari kabhi n jan saka ki kyon aisa hota tha ? kya fir ghar ya bahar se koee chhed-chhad huee thi ya kisi bhadde majak se wah gujari thi ? ya fir un nalinaji ke sath pariksha men jod diye jane ka afasos use tha, jinase use apar chid aur nafarat huaa karati thi ? nalinaji us din nahin the. unaki jagah priyahari hi kam chalagh afasar ki tarah kam par tha. stanf room men bhid-bhad thi. sara stanf parikshaon ke kagaj banane men laga tha aur ladakon ki bhari bhid kalej men do-char din bad shuru ho rahi parikshaon ke prawesh patr lene maujood thi. aafis ke mishra babu ko wanamala ne apana kam karane bitha liya tha. priyahari ne isi bich mishra se kaha tha ki wah jaye aur prawesh patr ka kam dekhe kyonki ladake samasya paida kar rahe the. wanamala ko priyahari ki bat par aapatti thi. use subah ke samay ki parikshaon men nalinaji ke sath kam karana tha. usi ki taiyari men wah lagi thi. mishra ke uthakar jate hi wanamala ko manate huye priyahari ne we kagaj kam karane ke liye khud utha liye the jo mishra ke pas the. bamushkil das minat ka kam tha. priyahari ne kam poora kar wanamala ke samane kagaj rakh diye. wanamala janaboojhakar priyahari se ulajh gaee. bina is bat ka khayal kiye ki us roj priyahari hi nalinaji ki jagah bakayada usaka afasar tha wanamala ne sare kagaj uthakar usaki or fenk diye. wah chillaee ''nahin chahiye mujhe aapake ye pepara. mainne kam karane aapase nahin, klark mishra se kaha tha. aap use kam karane dijiye. jo mera matahat hai wahi mujhe saunpega.'' wah wikshipton ki tarah chilla rahi thi - ''maine use badi mushkil se bulaya tha, aapane use kyon bhej diya?'' wanamala ke man men karan awashy koee aur daba tha jisaka yah wisfot tha. sare stanf ke samane apamanit priyahari us din dayaniyata aur kshobh se gad gaya. sab ke sab wanamala ke wyawahar par achanbhit the. hona to yah tha ki priyahari wanamala par barasata aur use dantata lekin usake kayar man ne afasos jahir karate huye ulte wanamala se mafi mangi aur usake kam ke liye taiyar kagaj fad kar wahin fenk diye. jahir hai ki wanamala ke man ko padane men priyahari asamarth tha. wanamala ka man utana saral nahin tha, jitana priyahari ki bhawukata use samajhati thi. priyahari ki diwanagi use dayaniy bana rahi thi aur wanamala thi ki ahankar se bhari ja rahi thi. auraten andar se chahe jaisi ho, unamen swachchhandata aur masti ki chahe jitani laharen hilore leti hon, we apane ko kabhi samaj men prakat nahin hota dekhana chahatin. chhuee-muee aur janghon ke bich chhipe hrday ko param pawitr darshane wali aam striyan is usase yoon pesh aaee jaise kisi kide-makode se pesh aa rahi ho. gusse men garajati wah

mamale men kuchh jyada hi satark hoti hain. nek-nami aur poshidagi par dhabbe ka khatara jahan aata dikhaee padata hai, wahan premi ke prati unaki sari wasanayen tirohit ho jati hain. apani chhabi bedag sabit karane tab sara thikara we apane premi ya priy purush ke sar par fodana chahati hain. tab usase we is tarah kinara katati hain jaise unase kabhi koee matalab unhen n raha ho. akhabaron men yah padana ki ghar se bhagi huee koee ladaki ya amukh aurat itane-itane dinon bad apane premi ke sath pakadi gaee aur fir yah bayan ki usamen aurat ka koee kusoor n tha, wah to premi hi tha jo use bahaka le gaya aur yauwan shoshan karata raha jaise samachar aisi hi taswir pesh karate hain. aadami kataghare men khada hota hai aur kathit roop se majaboor aurat jo dino-mahinon-jamanon se aadami ke sath poori aurat hokar deh sanbandhon ke aanand men sharik thi, mahaj bholi-bhali aur bekasoor bani aati hai. log ise janate hain aur eershya, sprha, jugupsa se tab dohare weg se aisi lalanayen hawa men un parag kanon ko bikharati hain jo dehagandh men chhipaye n chhipatin ab tak anajan bhauron ko unaki or lubhati hai. wanamala isaka apawad n thi. ab wah prachar se bachati apane garw bhare satitw ke khajane men chhueemuee ki tarah simat apani aisi chhawi pesh karane aatur thi, jisase wah auron ki nigahon men taja-tarin banakar chad sake. priyahari tha ki apani lachar nishtha aur wishwas ke sath wanamala ki majaboori ko majaboori ki tarah dekhata halat ke sudharane ki na-ummid ummidon men kaid tha. pichhale kuchh anubhawon ne priyahari ko anyamanask bana diya tha. usaka man yah kahata tha ki wanamala se use door hi rahana chahiye. aisi aurat se sanbandh rakhane ka kya matalab tha jise sanbandhon ki kadr n ho, jo pyar ko mahasoos n karati ho aur usi ki jad khode jo usaki shubhachintaon men dooba rahata hai. wanamala aur priyahari men yah bahut bada fark tha ki jahan wanamala n jane kyon - chid se, nafarat se ya apani tasalli doosaron par yah jahir karaneke liye ki chahe sare log use kuchh n samajhen, jisaki sabase jyada kadr hai wahi priyahari use manata hai usase pyar karata hai - wah khud aapas ki pyar-mohabbat ki baton ko, bhawana bhari aatmiyata ke kshanon ko ujagar kar deti thi. yah ujagar karana bigade mood ke kshanon men to sari haden par karata lanchhan ke isharon tak pahunch jata tha. doosari taraf priyahari tha ki wanamala ki in harakaton ke bawajood usase sahanubhooti rakhata tha aur bhayankar apaman aur pida ke kshanon men bhi maun ka sahara le awasad ke andheron men doob jata tha. priyahari aur wanamala donon ko ek-doosare ka swabhaw maloom tha. yah wichitr tha ki wanamala priyahari par apana adhikar samajhati thi aur priyahari se usake bagair raha n jata tha, tab bhi dono ke bich ke sanbandh hi asahaj the. jise wah apana samajhata tha wahi usase shatruta rakhati thi.

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niः shabd pars se khangal ek tanfi wanamala ki hatheli par ujagar hoti priyahari ke samane yah kahati huee pasar gaee ki - ''lo, ise munh men dalo. yahan munh band rakhana padata hai.''

nilanjana ka sahaj sath to priyahari ko hamesha hi upalabdh raha hai. manjari, wallari, suranjana, manjoosha, wirag aur nandita wagairah bhi usake achchhe sathi aur shubhachintak the . anganaon se sanbandhon men bhawuk aakarshan aur parasparik prashansa tatha wishwas ka aalam huaa karata aur purushon se sanbandhon men jnyan aur tark ka mahaul bana rahata tha. ab inhin sab ke bich priyahari ka samay katata tha. durwyawahar aur apaman ki pichhali ghatana ke bad priyahari ne ek kism ki berukhi wanamala ke prati od li thi. is tarah ke alagaw wanamala par kya asar hota tha ise kaha nahi ja sakata. kabhi-kabhi aankhon se prashnit usaki shikayat priyahari ki aankhon se takarati lekin jahan sadbhawana aur sanbandhon ki koshishen bichchhu ki tarah dank maratin wahan priyahari ko koee bhawishy najar hi n aata tha. priyahari aur karata bhi kya ? tab se do-char din bad ki bat hai. priyahari ne dekha wanamala usake thik samane kuchh door baithi kam kar rahi hai. priyahari ki usase bolachal band thi. usake pas bhi dher sare kagaj the. priyahari ko kam ke liye sathi ki jaroorat nahin thi lekin prakat men wanamala ko wah aisa mahasoos karana chahata tha. wallari se priyahari ke achchhe sanbandh the. yah koee julaee ki bat hogi. wallari muskurati wanamala aur priyahari ke bich chhaye maun aur khijh ko pad rahi thi. priyahari ne bade pyar aur adhikar se wallari ko aawaj di -'agar wyast n ho to mere pas aana, kuchh kam kara dena.' wallari prasann thi. andar-andar bagair mere kuchh atirikt kahe hi aankhon hi aankhon men mera makasad pad liya tha. yani yah ki wanamala ko us wakt chidhane men usaki rajamandi shamil thi. ''han han, kyon nahin ? bataiye jo bhi kam ho, main sath baithakar kar doongi'' - kahati wallari turant priyahari ke pas aa baithi. khushi se usaka chehara chamak raha tha. aawaj men mulamiyat bhari pyar ki mithas thi. is mel ne makool asar paida kiya. wanamala ki aankhen achanak uthin. usaki aankhon men khijh aur gussa tha. unamen likha tha - ''achchha, to ye bat hai ? main nahin, to doosari sahin ?'' priyahari ne bhi wanamala ko usaki ghoorati nigahon se nigahen milate manon yah jawab de diya - ''tum hin nahin, mere chahane wale aur bhi hain.'' apani chid dikhati, apani akad liye wanamala ne kagaj sameta aur teji se wirodh darshati bahar nikal gaee. priyahari ne wanamala ko jalane ke liye janaboojhakar waisa kiya tha. priyahari aur wallari ek-doosare ki aankhon men jhankate muskura rahe the. jis din ki yah bat hai stanf-room men anuradha, wanamala aur priyahari - tin baithe the. aankhon men udasi, shikayata, khijh aur apane akelepan ke bawajood chehare ka akad se

foola rahana wanamala ki sthayi mudra thi. ghar men subah nashta karana ya khana priyahari ki jiwani men kabhi sharik nahin raha. usane sew ke fal nikale. aalamari se chaku nikal unhen tarasha , kata aur kuchh tukade akhabar par rakhakar anuradha ki taraf bada diye. wanamala se use ulajhana n tha lekin saujany ka sankoch bhi tha. priyahari ne anuradha se kaha ''anuradha, maidam (wanamala) ko bhi ye de dijiye.'' anuradha ne sew ke tukadon se bhari hatheli wanamala ki or badaee. apane swabhaw ke anuroop winamrata se usane kaha ''wanamala-di, aap bhi lijiye.'' wanamala ne kanakhiyon se priyahari par najar dali aur fir sir jhukaye hi ek najar anuradha par dal dhire se kah diya - ''nahin, main nahin loongi. abhi meri ichchha nahin hai.'' priyahari utha. tebil ka chakkar kat doosari taraf se gujakar wanamala ke samane pahuncha. bina kuchh bole sew ke tukade apane hathon usane wanamala ke samane rakh diye. wanamala ne is bar fir anuradha ki or dekha. ab usaki aankhon men chamak aur hothon par tirachhi muskan thi. idhar anuradha ke chehare par is bar aashchary aur khijh bhare the. wah wanamala ko dekh rahi thi. jaise isase pahale kuchh n huaa ho, wanamala badi sanjidagi se ek tukada uthaye munh men badi ada se haule-haule chabane lagi thi. aise kshanon men wah nihayat masoom aur bholi lagati thi. priyahari use dekhata aur usaka man sochata rah jata ki wanamala aakhir kya hai ? usake man men bhala kya hoga ? wah to apana man tar-tarakar wanamala ke samane rakh deta tha lekin wah ? wah kya chahati thi ? kaun si ulajhan thi jo use khulane n dekar band aur rahasyamay bana deti thi ? priyahari ke liye wanamala ka aisa wyawahar ek paheli hi raha aaya. sarakar ke ek aadesh se sabhi kam karane walon ke shaikshik yogyata ke praman-patr

mangakar janche ja rahe the. nilanjana aur wanamala ko kam diya gaya tha ki mool pratiyon se foto kapiyon ka milan kar use darj karen. bholababu ka mamala rahasyamay tha. usake kagaj ya to - 'koee aur n jane, n dekhe ki taraha' shamil hote the ya fir we aate hi n the. wah prachary ka hamesha munh laga tha isaliye sanrakshit tha. us par koee dabaw dalane ki haisiyat men n tha. aafis men apane dastawej nilanjana-wanamala ko saunpate priyahari ne poochha tha ki kya bholababu ke dastawej aa gaye ? nilanjana boli – “na, we to yoon hi kapiyon ki jhalak dikhaye bagair kah gaye ki sab thik hai. unhen bhala kaun kahega? we to prinsipal ke khas hain.“ priyahari ki aankhon se nilanjana ki masoom jhuki nazaren uth mili thin lekin usaki talkh pratikriya ka rukh wanamala ki taraf tha - ''han bhaee, we to khas hain. unase koee kya kahega ? ek main hi hoon jisase sari bahasen ki ja sakati hain.'' usake aisa kahane ke pichhe prasang yah tha ki pichhale din jab priyahari ne mool pratiyon ke bagair dastawej saupe the to nilanjana ne kah diya tha ki prachary ke aadesh hai ki mool pratiyan lani hai isaliye unhen le aaiye. priyahari ke andar kuchh tha jo khijh aur udasi se bhara tha. wanamala ka chehara, jo us din bhi sadaiw ki tarah anamanaska, dwidhagrasta, udas tha, aur jisamen hothon ke bich tanfi ka ek tukada pighal raha tha, priyahari ki taraf achanak utha. sooni aankhon se usane

priyahari ke chehare men jhanka. ni् shabd pars se khangal ek tanfi wanamala ki hatheli par ujagar hoti priyahari ke samane yah kahati huee pasar gaee ki - ''lo, ise munh men dalo. yahan munh band rakhana padata hai.'' aisa hi wah ek kshan tha jab kabhi wanamala se berukh priyahari apane udas man ko bahalata nilanjana ko bagal men bithaye yoo.ji.si. ka kam dekh raha tha. wanamala upasthit thi lekin nilanjana aur priyahari ke bich aatmiyata ka aisa sahaja, shant rag chhida tha ki ekdoosare men doobe unhen wanamala ki parawah hi n thi. wahi kshan tha jab kuchh der udas akeli baithi wanamala ki besabr aawaj ne khalal dali thi. priyahari aur nilanjana ke thik samane pahunch wah bade bholepan se niharati poochh rahi thi - ''maf kijiyega, me aaee distarw yu priyahari sar ?'' wanamala ki aankhon ke us maun se, usaki aisi ada se priyahari dharashayi ho jata tha. wanamala rani ki ada hi nirali thi. usaki baten usake maun men hi chhipi hoti thin aur priyahari se usaka pyar waisi sanketik sawaliya wani men wyakt hota tha. wanamala se yoon takarate priyahari ki sari dharanayen, sare poorwagraha, sari aashankayen, sare bhaya, sara gussa - sab ke sab dhwast ho jate the. priyahari ne wanamala ka wah kam kar diya tha, jo warshon se failon men rakha tha. sare stanf ne usaka wirodh kiya tha ki wanamala ke purane mamale ka nirdharan ke is haliya mamale se kya sanbandh hai? aakhir kyon achanak priyahari ko wanamala ke purane mamale men dilachaspi ho aaee hai? sab naraj ho uthe the. sab ki aashanka thi, aarop tha ki is chakkar men mamala ulajh jayega aur doosare bhi pareshan honge. samiti se priyahari ke is muaamale men is kadar matabhed the ki too-tu main-main ki naubat aa pahunchi thi. wanamala ke paksh men jidd par ade priyahari ne bhi chunauti dete huye sarwajanik ghoshana kar di thi ki log ise chahe jo samajhen, yadi kam hoga to wanamala ke purane mamale ko hal karane ke sath hi hoga, anyatha kisi ka bhi wetan nahin nirdharit hoga chahe mamala mahinon pada rahe. naubat gali-galauch aur gusse ke pradarshan tak pahunch gaee thi. yah bad ki bat hai ki kisi roj kutilaksh ne priyahari ke rawaiye par tane dete huye use kaha tha - '' priyahari, aap bhi ajib bewakoof hai. aap usi aurat ka paksh le rahe hain, jo pith pichhe aapaki buraee karati, aapake liye n jane kitani gandi baten kahati firati hai. aap sa aadami mainne nahin dekha.'' wah kahata ja raha tha - ''aisi-aisi gandi baten, jo main bataoon aur aap sun len to gash khakar gir padegen''? kutilaksh ki baten jaroor sach rahi hongi. yah ajib bat thi ki sab kuchh sun aur janakar bhi wanamala ne priyahari se bat karane ki jaroorat to samajhi nahin, balki auron ke tanon se ghabarakar n jane kya-kya priyahari ke khilaf sab se bol gaee thi. bahut bad men priyahari ne wanamala se usake is rawaiye ke prasang men apani wyatha kahi thi to use jawab mila tha - ''aap bekar in logon se mere liye kyon lad pade the ? yahan ka mahaul kya hai, kaisi baten log karate hai, tane dete hai - yah aapako nahin maloom kya ?'' wanamala kahati chali gaee thi - ''main karati bhi kya ? mujhe sare log dosh de rahe the ki ye unaki khas hain n ! inhin ke karan yah sab ho raha hai. ye kisi ka bhala n

hone dengi. n jane kya-kya mujhe sunana pada tha ? isiliye tang aakar mujhe majabooran kahana pada tha ki mera aap se koee sanbandh nahin hai aur maine aap se apane liye waisa karane kuchh nahin kaha tha.'' wanamala men aurat ka wah chehara priyahari ko bar-bar dikhaee pad raha tha, jo awishwasaniy tha. wah aisa chehara tha jo ain wakt par dhokha deta apane bachaw ke liye palat kar usi ko mar dalata hai jo khud usake apane dil men chhipa ho. wanamala ne apane wibhag ke ek aur utsahi sathi ki yojana priyahari ke pas rakhi thi. wishw-wyapar aur bharat ke aarthik hiton se sanbandhit antar mahawidyalayin kisi nibandh pratiyogita ka wah prastaw tha. pichhe koee bhi raha ho, baten, wichar-wimarsh aur fir nirnay priyahari aur wanamala hi milakar tasalli se karate the. yah bat doosaron ko chubhati thi ki har bat par priyahari ki kasauti bich me kyon ghasit laee jati thi ? manadey ki ghoshana sahit nibandhon ki janch ke liye priyahari ko bhi parikshak aur nirnayak rakha gaya tha. ekadh bar wanamala ne priyahari ko sanket kiya tha ki nirnayak ke puraskar par ek paiket rakha huaa hai, jise wah le len. usake anusar nalinaji ne use priyahari ko dene kaha hai. wanamala ka kahana aisa sahama aur sankoch-bhara hota ki jaise usamen usaki ichchha shamil n thi aur wah mahaj ek soochana thi. priyahari ka man dikhawe ke in prayason se chidata tha. priyahari ne socha yoon to wanamala ukhadi-ukhadi rahati hai, bat tak karane se berukhi, hamesha jaden khodati hai isaliye bhala kyon main is berukh upahar se apane ko upakrt karoon ? usake liye wanamala ke pyar aur sanbandh ki kamana in aupacharikataon se adhik thi . bad men fir shayad inamen baten huee hon . prachary ki pahal par prayas yah huaa ki bakayada unaki upasthiti men hi priyahari ko wah samman diya jaye . wanamala apani aalamari se ek paiket nikal le aaee thi . pichhe usaka wibhagiy sahayogi raha tha . wanamala ne upahar priyahari ko saunpane apane hath aage badaye . priyahari ke man men katu smrtiyan thi . yah wahi chehara tha jo use apamanit karane men aanand uthata tha . priyahari ne mana kar diya . usane wanamala se kaha -'' maine apana kam kiya . mujhe puraskar ki koee jaroorat nahin . puraskar se badi chij sadbhawana hai . wah bani rahe yahi bahut hai .'' wirag ne thik isi wakt wahan prawesh kiya tha. wanamala ke jane ke bad jab usane priyahari ko akela paya to kaha - '' wanamala jaisi hai, waisi hai . par aap ne achchha nahin kiya . aap se sarokar kuchh to hoga, jo wanamala aap ki parawah karati hai ? lok ke bhay se wah yoon hi apane men sahami-simati hoti hai. ab jab wah yoon khuli to aap ne aagrah tal auron ke samane use yah batalane beijjat kar diya ki aap ko usase koee matalab nahin . apana ahankar to aap ne pradarshit kar diya par ab jara yah bhi sochiyega ki wanamala ko bhala aap ke wyawahar se kaisa laga hoga ?

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jalati hain, sali sab jhoothi hain
''aap ke pas aana mushkil hai . koee hai hi nahin . akele baithe hain, isaliye aa gaee . socha chalo bat karoon .'' neha ne kaha . dukh ke kshano men maraham ka kam karati neha ki pyari aawaj ko main sun raha tha

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mujhe nahin maloom ki wanamala ko kaisa laga hoga ? main janata tha ki use mujhe prasann karane hi samane kiya gaya tha, lekin waisi prasannata kis kam ki thi, jisake pichhe man ka mail chhipa ho . mujhe apane nirnay par koee pashchatap n tha . in sab ke bawajood wanamala aur mera sath hamari chahat bhi thi aur majaboori bhi . pas rahakar bhi door anabole rahe aate lekin jab bhid se pare aur badharahit hote tab bat karane ke bahane aur kam ke mauke nikal aate the . n jane kyon pas rahakar bhi ek adrshy tanawa, bhay hamare bich chhaya rahata ki kab yah nikatata badhit ho jayegi aur n jane fir kab baithane, bat karane ka mauka milega. sara kuchh anishchit hota ja raha tha . priyahari ka man khula tha . wah karuna aur asahayata ki pida se grast rahata . priyahari hamesha wanamala ke udas ghabaraye, pashopesh bhare man men jhankane ki koshish karata poochhana chahata ki aakhir usaka man itana rahasyamay kyon lekin jab yatnapoorwak hamare bich aise kshan wikasit hote, samay aur bhid dastak dene lagati aur hamen kam chhodakar alag hone ki wiwashata aa jati . kya wah meri atishay dayaniyata aur samarpit diwanagi thi jo duniyadari ki chintaon se grasit aur bhayabhit wanamala ko mujhase wirakt kar rahi thi ? wakt bewakt wah yoon tane deti aur wyangy karati jaise jitani bhi galatiyann hain, meri hi hain. durdasha ke halat mere the, chitayen meri thin, wanamala to apani chhabi ko saf rakhane auron par apana rutaba barakarar rakhane nikal padati thi . hona yah chahiye tha ki tab main alag-thalag pad jata aur wah lokapriy nayika ki tarah swikar ki jati, lekin nahin . waisa nahin ho raha tha . wanamala ka pradarshan usaki chhabi ko aur kharab karata raha . duchitta, sanaki, jhagadalu kam-talu aur ahankari aurat ke roop men hi usaki pahachan banati gaee . is bar yuwa-utsaw ke sahityik sanskrtik kary kram men use kalakar chhaila ke roop men lokapriy kanan aur anuradha ke sath rakha gaya tha . kalakar kanan apane bahar ke nama, man-sammanasa, paise ki ummid men sanstha ke kamon ko tuchchh aur batukiy samajhata tha . wah kam in par tal deta aur rajababu ki tarah pesh aata tha . kanlej men usaki yah wrtti aam thi . parikshaon men wah kamare men ghoomane-firane aur jimmedariyann nibhane ki bajay ghanton is-us kamare ya bahar gappen ladane men bitata aur sathi mahila ya purush khijhakar use kosata rahata . failen aur kagaj idhar se udhar khisakate aur yuwa utsaw dhara rah gaya . aise men jab talab hoti to tinon dosh ek-doosare par dalate . staf men rachanatmak rujhan aur yogyata wale aise hi n the . jo do char the, unamen main hi aisa tha jo hath men liye kam par din-rat mehanat karata aur karata behatar aur anokhe dhang se sanpann karane ki koshish karata . mujhamen aisa aatmawishwas aur

badappan tha ki sara kam khud kar dalata, lekin shrey apane sathiyon nilanjana, wanamala ya aur koee bhi ho ko deta tha . sathi ki yah bhawana aur wrtti any men durlabh thi . mujhe aashchary hai ki waisa hone aurawisheshat:wanamala ko aage badane aur usaki tarakki ki prerana aur kamana ke bawajood wah mujhe hi raundana chahati thi . isake wiparit kam ho n ho, bhad men jaye ki wrtti ke sath maja lene wale chitrakar wyas ko we apane wash men n kar pati thin . mauka milane par bhi wanamala use manane ke jatan karati thi . apana sooja munh aur khijh liye bas kagaj palatati aur notis nikalati najar aati . kam jab n huaa to wanamala ne chitrakar wyas par aarop mad diya ki sare kagaj fail we dhare rahate the, jimmedari unaki thi par kam nahin kiya . udhar chitrakar wyas kahata ki mainne sab samajhaya, kiya, diya . par khud hi ye ayogy thi to kya karati . anuradha ke pith pichhe wanamala khunnas nikalati kahati ki ye to kanlej se gayab rahati hain . kabhi ekadh ghante soorat dikhi, baten ki aur fir isaka pata nahin kab khisak leti hai. wanamala ka aarop hota ki chhatr-chhatraon ko khud wah prerit karati hai aur anuradha kuchh nahin karati . idhar anuradha kahati ki wanamala jhooth bolati hai . wanamala ko kuchh aata-jata nahin hai, jabaki wah khud din-din bhar kanlej ke bahar men chhatron ke ghar nrty ka riharsal karati rahi hai . wanamala ka jawab hota - '' sali jhooth bolati hai . maine ladakon-ladakiyon se poochha hai . n kahin gaee thi aur n kuchh karaya hai. '' wahan kya chal raha tha ise main maun dekhata . main chahata to madad kar sakata tha, lekin nahin wah mera kshetr nahin tha . mujhe kewal wanamala ki dayaniyata par taras aata ki dekho, main to use itana mahatw deta hoon, usase mere niji sanbandh hain, us par jan deta hoon aur jab bhi ham milate hain poori antarang lay ke sath . ek doosare men chitt aur hrday se aisa kam karate hain, jo doosaron se sanbhaw n ho, lekin yah wanamala hai ki wah shubhachintak aur priy ki awamanana karati jhagada karati hai aur bahar shubhachintak dhoondati firati hai . wanamala khud bhi thokaren khane ke bad ise mahasoos karati . niyati ki mar ki jahaj ke panchhi ki tarah thikana usaka fir mere pas hi ho jana tha . ekant ke kshanon men hi dilon ki jalan nikalati thi . har halat men mai wanamala ka pakshadhar hi hota tha . wanamala ke wiwadaspad aur chidachide chehare ke baraaks main sadaiw nirwiwad aur winamr sahayogi poore staf ke bich bana raha . nilanjana, manjari, rima, naee wibhagiy ladakiyan sab ki sab wanamala ki aalochak thin . usase bat karana hi kisi ko bhi pasand n tha . ulte jab subah aane wali naee mahilayen mujhase baten karati prabhawit hoti nikat aati dikhatin to wanamala ki nak aur chad jati thi . n jane usake andar kya tha ki koee use poochhata na tha aur jo ek main usake andar chhipi-dabi-lachar wanamala se pyar karata tha, use usaki sanbhawanaon tak pahunchane ke swapn dekhata, usase wah ghamand bhari jab-tab kharab tarah se pesh aati . balki waisa nahin, apane ko pesh aata dikhati pracharit karati thi . use samajhana mushkil tha ki wah kya hai . is bar bhi kalej ki patrika ka kam mujhe aur wanamala ko hi de diya gaya tha. apani hatasha ke karan ya kisi aur jhagade ke bad wyangya, shikayata, roothana aur manana

chhote-chhote kshanon men ham donon ke bich chalata raha tha . aksar main use ghar men fon kar baithata. dono ki upasthiti ke param ekant men kabhi aankhon ki bhasha men, aur kabhi maun ke juban ki bhasha men hamari baten hotin. auraton ki eershya ki parawah wanamala ko kam thi. wah unhe tuchchh aur upekshaniy samajhati thi . isiliye auraton men bhi hamare pith pichhe wanamala ki bila-wajah akad aur us jaisi upekshaniya ke prati meri diwanagi ko lekar charchayen chala karati thin . wanamala unake parawah ke dayare se bahar thi. chinta unhen meri huaa karati jo wanamala ke chakkar men wyarth hi usase pisa ja raha tha. kuchh mahila-sathi spashtata् kah bhi jati thin . jaise rima ne ek bar munh bichakakar kaha tha ki in bangaliyon se to bach ke hi rahana chahiye . tona-totaka karati hain . aap to usake chakkar men mat padiye . shayad mere fon se utpann ghar ke jhagade ya fir sanstha men apawad ke charche wanamala ke man men mere liye usaki khijh aur nafarat ke karan rahe honge . wanamala ko rootha chhodakar mera baki sab mahilaon ke sath uthana baithana bhi shayad usake bhadakane aur bhadakaye jane ka karan raha hoga . duwidha ke aise hi anabole kshanon men ek din main aur wanamala akeleakele baithe the . hamen neha ne us tarah anabola udas dekh liya tha. ekant men usi halat men chhod wah lautane ko udyat huee, to wanamala us khas din turant uth khadi huee aur sath ho li . donon mahilaon ki jaisi mudra thi, usane mujhe aahat kiya . becharagi ki nigah se mujhe akela aur udas chhod we chali gaee thin. doosare din neha mauka nikal mere pas ghus aaee . tab mai sanbhawat karyalay-pramukh ke charj me tha aur prisinpal ke chembar men baitha tha . gori-chitti, neha apane bhare-chaude chehare par laharate kale ghane bal aur apani chanchal adaon ke sath chahakati us wakt mujhe lubha rahi thi . use pahali bar tab mainne nikatata me paya tha jab wah shuru men aaee-aaee hi thi . mujhase chhoti kad kathi thi par sanbhale n jane wale bhari nitanb ko dharan kiye usaki janghayen pusht thin . waksh jabaradast wishala, ras bhare, aur nukili choochiyan chhati se bahar aane ko thi . andar jati meri ras bhari aankh se jab aankhen takaraeen to mere andar ka kuchh usamen bhi bahane laga tha . us din neha se maine jab kaha- ''aaha, aaj to tumhari khoobasoorati mare dal rahi hai,'' tab usane meri aankhon men jhankate kuchh lajja aur der si prasannata se chamakate chehare ke sath donon bahen pichhe kara, chhatiyon ko ubhar aisi angadaee li thi ki usake aamantran ko turant swikarane ki chahat jag gaee thi . neha bindas thi aur un khuli jawaniyon men thi, jinase main bejhijhak batiya sakata tha. wanamala ki yad dila neha apani chanchalata men mujhe bahut chheda karati thi . wanamala ki chugali karane men auraton ko sankoch hota tha . unhe bhay bana rahata tha ki unaki chugali mere aur wanamala ke antarang kshanon men jisase unhen sprha thi, prakat n kar di jaye . neha bindas aur beparawah thi. use kisi ka bhay nahin tha. neha ne bataya ki kal bhi wah mere sath batiyane ke mood men aaee thi lekin wanamala ko wahan pahale se maujood pa wah baithane men sankoch kar gaee thi. yah alag bat thi ki wanamala dewi usake aupacharik ''chalo na'' ki dawat par khud hi uthakar tab usake sath chipaki chali gaee thin.

''aap ke pas aana mushkil hai . koee hai hi nahin . akele baithe hain, isaliye aa gaee . socha chalo bat karoon .'' neha ne kaha . dukh ke kshano men maraham ka kam karati neha ki pyari aawaj ko main sun raha tha aur usake khoobasoorat chehare par chamakati badi kali aankhon men jhank raha tha . neha aur mere bich aur wahi kyon, any-striyon ke sath bhi aise kshan sulabh the . neha to neha hi thi. mujhase dost ki tarah jyada khuli huee thi . ''sunaiye kya hal chal hai . aap to hamesha jhijhakati hoon ki aap kuchh kah n den.'' ''pyari neha, tum to yar tane n do . maine to tumhen kabhi roka nahin hai . hamesha karib rahi ho fir kahe ki jhijhak .'' ''are aap nahin janate yahan kitane aur kaise-kaise jalanakhor hain .'' chuppi ke bad neha ne fir kaha- ''chaliye kuchh sunaiye . kya chal raha hai, kya soch rahe hain . mere samane to aap is kadar ganbhir n raha kijiye .'' main udas aur anyamanask tha . meri yahi mudra samane wale ko mujhamen ghusane prerit karati thi . bat karane ki bat par maine kaha - ''main to akela hoon, alag-thalag rahata hoon . n jane log kya-kya sochate honge, buraee karate honge .'' ekadam wyaktigat par aakar maine kah dala-tumhin batao mai tumhe kaisa lagata hoon, mai kitana achchha ya bura hoon . aaj main apani buraiyan sunana chahata hoon . tumhari or se koee bat kahane ko n ho to yahi kah dalo .'' neha ne badi ada se chanchal aankhe matakate huye lad men kaha -''aap se baten to maine neha ko ukera ''kaho na yar . jab maine kah diya to kyon nakhara karati ho . tumhara man khula hai, mere najadik ho isaliye to tumase kaha hai. aur tum ho ki oon-u्n ki ada se tale ja rahi ho .'' usane aashwasan liya ki main kisi se kahoonga to nahin fir hansate huye sankoch se kaha-''aap ko maloom hai ki aap ke pas akele baithane se auraten katarati kyon hai ?'' mera chitt wanamala men dooba tha . main kah utha-''shayad kuchh log bhadakate hon, ya shayad isaliye ki kisi ko jalan hoti ho ki mera apana doosaron ke sath kyon baithata bat karata hai .'' tohane par neha ne khulasa kiya-''kal jab main wanamala ko staf-room se apane sath bulakar le gaee to wanamala ne mujhe any auraton nilanjana, anuradha wagairah ki upasthiti men dhanyawad dete huye kaha ki ''achchha kiya re tu mujhako wahan se utha laee . wahan baithane se mujhe ghutan hoti hai . n jane kya-kya baten wo shuru kar dete hain .'' neha ne bataya ki ''han men han milati anuradha ne bhi kaha tha ki han unamen ye aadat to he, kabhi-kabhi aisa karane lagate hain .'' ganbhir aur udas lagate hain n jane kahan dekhate rahate hain . kya sochate rahate hain . aana chahati hoon lekin dar lagata hai

bahut si karana chahati hoon lekin dar lagata hai aap n jane kya samajhen ?''

neha ki soochana se main stabdh rah gaya . maine poochha . ''tumhara kya kahana hai ?'' neha ne kaha ''nahin mere sath aisi koee bat nahin . waisa hota to main aapake pas aati kyon ?'' jijnyasawash bad men nilanjana se bhi mainne aatmiy kshanon men us prasang ki toh li . usane kaha – ''rahane dijiye, sab janate hain ki wanamala kaisi hai . usaki mat poochhiye usaki to aadat hi waisi hai . yah usi wanamala ka ullekh tha, jo bar-bar ''baee gada'' kah gala chhooti mujhe yah aashwast karati thi ki aap to kisi ki baton par n jaya kijiye . jalati hain, sali sab jhoothi hain . sach aur jhooth ke bich wakt gujarata ja raha tha . wanamala ka man wanamala hi jan sakati thi. sahanubhooti batorane aur apane ko bedaga, buddhimati, sushila siddh karane ki sari cheshtaon ke babajood wah alag-thalag hi ki jati rahi . yooth festiwal ki jimmedariyon ke mamale men paraspirik aarop-pratyaropon men akarmanyata ko lekar kalakar wyas aur anuradha wanamala se khinn the . digar auraton se usaki bolabal n ke barabar thi . purani sanginiyon men ekadh ko chhodakar kisi ne bhi shayad hi wanamala ki tarif ki ho . ulate is dauran mujhe fansakar kabhi apana purana wetan prakaran khulawane ke bahane pas mere nikat aa jane aur kabhi mujhe auron ke hiton se katate door kar rakhane ki wanamala ki muhim par log usase chidate the .

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'' kam karoongi to main inhin ke satha, anyatha nahin karoongi . ye mere sath rahen to duniya ka koee kam nahin jo mere liye asanbhaw ho .''

bholababu to the nahin aur salana jalase ke din pas the . wishwasaniy janakar prachary ne mujhe usaki yojana banane aur kam karane adhikrt kar diya aur wanamala ki rajamandi se use karyakram prabhari banakar mujhase jod diya. ek-doosare se chot khaye hone ke babajood bhi priyahari aur wanamala ko ek-doosare ka sahara tha . main apani khud ki kamajori ka mara tha . wanamala se maine kaha tha- ''tum mere sath raho . ham aisa kam karenge ki tumhare sare aalochakon ke munh band ho jayen .'' staf ke rawaiye se khijhi aur apane ko alag-thalag kar diya mahasoos karati wanamala ne khud bhi prachary se kaha- '' kam karoongi to main inhin ke satha, anyatha nahin karoongi . mujhe koee nahin chahiye . ye mere sath rahen to duniya ka koee kam nahin jo mere liye

asanbhaw ho .'' wanamala aur mere bich pahale hi ekantik kshanon men tay ho gaya tha ki kam karange to ham donon satha, anyatha karenge hi nahin . hamane yojanayen banaee, soochanayen nikali . wirag adhikrt taur par chhatrasangh ka sahayak adhikari tha . usane dekha ki wanamala ko aage kiya ja raha hai to behad naraj huaa . staf ke aur aur logon ki bhi pratikriyayen sunane milin . kalakar wyas aur anuradha wyawaharik kamakaj aur aayojan men jyada kushal aur nipun the . unhonne safa taur par kah diya ki wanamala ki haisiyat kya thi ki usake faraman par koee kam kare ? antata् huaa yah ki main to warishth salahakara, yojanakaron men shamil ho gaya aur wanamala ko doodh men padi makkhi ki tarah nikal bahar kar samany sahayakon ke kamakaj use saunpe jane lage . sab kuchh ho gaya . karyakram sanpann huye . wanamala awamanit rahi . rangamanch par kabja anuradha aur kalakar wyas ka raha jinhen wahawahi mili . wanamala parade ke pichhe kalakar ladakon-ladakiyon ko wyawasthit karane ke kam men dhakel di gaee thi . bhale hi we shabda, wah kaul khijh aur hatasha men nikale hon wanamala mujhe in shabdon ki smrti men ki- ''ye agar mera sath den to mujhe kisi ki jaroorat nahin, duniya ka koee bhi kam mere liye asanbhaw nahin'' hamesha yad rahi aaee .'' we din aur mahine wanamala ke sath yoon hi bite . andar kya tha jo use bechain huye rahata tha ? usaki gahari udasi aur anyamanaskata ka rahasy kya tha ? usaki sooni aankhon men kaun si shikayat thi ? we kya kahana chahati thin ? kyon wah naraj hoti aur khijhati mujhase berukh ho jati thi ? kyon wah unmad-grast ho mujhase jhagadati aur bhalathi ? isaka rahasy hamesha bura kahati thi ? aur kyon achanak meri pida ko sahalati wah mere dil ke ekadam karib aa jati mujhamen rahasy hi bana raha aayega . main samajh nahin pata ki un dinon jo huaa aur aage hota raha, use main wanamala roopi rahasy ka prakat hona manoon ya use aur adhik gaharana, aboojh hona janoon .

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khoji nigahen
fir sir jhukaye dhire se wah aage boli ************** ''aap ko to koee kuchh kahata nahin . logon ko hamara sath-uthana baithana bura lagata hai .''

pichhali safalata se utsahit is bar bhi kalej ki patrika ka bhar mujh par hi dal diya gaya tha . apani hatasha ke karan ya kisi aur wajah se khinn

aur wanamala par

man maine prinsapal se kaha tha- main ab oob gaya hoon . itana prerit protsahit kar shrey wanamala ko deta hoon aur wah ki drama karati najar aati hai . maine aur nam sujha diye the nilanjana, chitrakar wyasa, wanamala, wagairah . unhonne kaha tha- ''chhodiye sab ko, aap donon hi bane rahiye kyon bich men sab ko late ho .''

meri duwidha par unhonne kaha - ''chaliye thik hai. aap chahate hain to rakh lijiye auron ko, par aap ko to rahana hi hai . chahakar bhi nilanjana ka nam hatakar maine kamath ka rakh diya kyon ki wanamala nilanjana ke nam se hi chidati thi wanamala, usaka chaheta chitrakara, aur kamath . maine socha ki wah us chitrakar par rujhan rakhati hai, karenge donon . lekin nahin, wanamala aisi thi ki usaki usase patati hi n thi . chitrakar ki aankh anuradha par rahati thi . usake pichhe wah waise hi dum hilata tha, jaisa wanamala ke pichhe main . anuradha badtamiji se to pesh nahin aati thi, lekin yada-kada kalakar par khijhati thi . kahati- ''wo bekar hain sara, kuchh kamadham karate nahin . ghoomate rahate hain aur doosaron par raub gannthate hain .'' kuchh bhi ho tim bani . baten yada-kada kam par sabhi se hotin . margadarshan main sabhi ka karata, lekin wanamala pahale ki tarah hi nakharon ke babajood aatmiy karib rahi thi, halannki pichhale salon sa mahaul ab nahin raha tha . main bhi bharosa usi ka karata tha . usake feramons mujhe lubhate the . kam chalata raha, lekin na-na karake jhagada ho hi gaya . pratiyogita men jo nibandh aaye the, unamen pahale nanbar ka lekh angreji men tha . maine wanamala se kah diya ki wahi use hindi men sankshep men likhe . jahan anuwad n bane ya digar kathinaee ho, main sath baith loonga . wanamala usake liye taiyar n huee. ''mujhase akele yah kam bhala kaise ho payega ? meri angreji utani achchhi nahin hai. ham sath baithenge. aap anuwad karate hindi men bolate chaliye main likhati hoon .''wanamala boli. baithate dekhe gaye . jab tak khoji eershyalu nigahen n hotin kam chalata rahata, lekin jyon hi khoji nigahon wale aate wanamala asahaj ho sankoch men padati khijh padati . ''mujhase nahin hota yah bhari kam . kisi aur ko pakad lijiye ya aap khud kar sakate hain kar daliye .'' - aakhir ek din wanamala ne kah hi diya. mere samane to koee kuchh n kahata lekin bad men awashy use mere sath ko lekar tane diye jate rahe honge. main samajh raha tha ki wanamala ki khijh in dinon ke daramyan bichakaye gaye usake man ki hai . wanamala ne kah diya ki mera hi hona jaroori kyon ho ? kisi aur ko sath bithakar aap anuwad likha dijiye. bahut bad men mujhe isaka aabhas huaa ki wanamala ke us tarah mere sath hone par use usaka wah wibhagiy sahakarmi chidata aur tane deta tha jise jane ya anajane wanamala ne apane karib aa jane ka mauka diya tha. wanamala ki manamarji wale sujhaw mujhe awamanit karane wale the. adhinasth aur kamatar hoti bhi wah manon mujhe nirdeshit kar rahi thi. main bhi naraj ho utha. do took shabdon men wanamala se mainne kaha- ''thik hai tum nahin karana chahatin to main bhi nahin karane ka. rahi tisare ki bata, to samajh lo ki koee tisara nahin baithega . wishay tumhara hai, jimmedari tumhari hai . main baithoonga to tumhare liye aur tumhare sath hi .'' do-char roj waisa huaa . kabhi staf room men, kabhi kahin ham ghante-do ghante

wahan aur-aur do-char log the . jaise isharon se shikayat ki ho, wanamala ne dilachaspi se tamasha dekhate wahan khade apane wibhag ke ek khas chatur sathi ki or arthapoorn najaron se takate kaha ''dekha n ? dekh lijiye . mere bina inaka kam ho hi nahin sakata . badi ajib bat hai .'' maine kagaj wahin chhode, utha, aur bahar yah kahata nikal gaya ki tum jano aur tumhara kam jane . sari jimmedariyan meri hi nahin hain . bade sahab ke samane ham baithe aur is samasya par bat chali . is jagah aakar wanamala ka asali swar khula . wah boli -''wahan atapata lagata hai . staf room men sab apane kaj-kam karate baithate hain. log n jane kaisa takate baithate hain . wahan distarb hota hai aur main thak jati hoon .'' jahir hai ki wanamala ka man mujhe chahane ke bawajood auron se darata tha . wah n unhen naraj karana chahati thi, n mujhe . yahan jo usane kaha usase yah bat prakat ho gaee thi . dan. nalin ne ha्nsate huye kaha ''koee bat nahin, yahan baith jaya kijiye mere kamare men . yahan koee pareshani nahin hai .'' doosare din ham subah-subah karyalay shuru hone se pahale se kary karane baithe . us din maine wanamala se kaha -''tumhe jo kahana hai saf kyon nahin kahati mujhase. tumane jis tarah isharebajon se mujhe kal chidane ki koshish ki wah kya hamare sanbandhon ke bich thik tha .'' nahin kiya . aap bekar usaka bura man baithe. lagata hai ki aap ko galatafahami huee hai . fir sir jhukaye dhire se wah aage boli -'' aap meri musibat samajhanek ki koshish kyon nahin karate ? main kaise samajhaoon ? aap ko to koee kuchh kahata nahin . logon ko hamara sath-uthana baithana bura lagata hai .'' usaki bat thik thi . jyon hi kala aur wijnyan ki kakshaon aur aafis ke staf ka aana shuru huaa wah chitrakar sanpadak-sathi aafis men ghusata dikhaee pada . usane chuhal ki ''achchha to aap logon ki mahafil ab yahan jamane lagi hai ,?'' jahir hai ki khoji nigahen wanamala aur mere dimag men chubhane lagati thin . jis chori ke liye hamare man aatur raha karate, wah aur nigahon se pakadi ja rahi thi . sankoch aur khijh se fir hamane kam rok diya . aage jo huaa wah ek bhayanak durghatana aisi durghatana, jo toofan ki tarah tab tak aage badati rahi jab tak usane wanamala aur mujhe un do kinaron par nahin la pataka, jahan se ham donon ke pas aane ki sari sanbhawanayen samapt ho chali thin. us toofan ke aaweg men kuchh bhi samajh pana mushkil tha. sara kuchh ujad ho chukane ke bad ab main yah samajha sakata hoon ki tab wanamala ki or se jo kuchh hota chala gaya tha unamen ek kinkartawy-wimoodata men nirwikalp asahay stri ki majabooriyan chhipi thin. apani asahishnuta aur adhirata men tab main itana andha ho chala tha ki bar-bar samajhane ke bawajood apani samajh ke darawaje maine band kar liye the. __________________________________________________________________ wanamala ne safaee di -'' are wo to maine yoon hi kaha tha . maine kisi ko ishara

wah din meri narajagi ka tha
toot gaye dikhaee padane par bhi judane-tootane ki daramyani smrtiyan kayam rahati hai- ek anant afasos se bhari pida ke sath .

*************** wah takariban maee ka mahina raha hoga aur ain wanamala ke prthwi par awataran ki tarikha, jab antim rooparekha tay karane maine patrika ki samiti ki baithak bulaee thi . subah parikshayen nahin thin ? dopahar men logon ki dyootiyan lagi thin . khayal yah tha ki kewal wanamala aur priyahari prinsipal ke kamare men maujood honge aur ishk faramayenge . nam ke liye pannch-das minat ko auron ko bula lenge . mainne soochana jari kar di thi . subah das baje wanamala aa gaee thi kuchh log aur aa gaye the . mujhe ummid thi ki wanamala dilachaspi dikhayegi aur pahal karegi, lekin nahin . wah aaee, staf room men ek do minat rahi fir idhar-udhar chali gaee . chitrakaraji nahin aaye the . intajar kafi ho gaya tha mainne ek sahayak karmi narayan se wanamala ko khabar bhijawaee ki we aa jayen . dilachasp jawab aaya ki aur log yani chitrakar wyas ji wagairah aa jayen to sath baithenge . do-adaee ghante bad mujhase kisi ne aakar kaha ki sab log yani wyasa, kamath aur (roothi rani) wanamala prachary-kaksh men aap ko bula rahe hain, intajar kar rahe hain . kya unhonen bulaya hai ? kinare baithe swanam-dhany mere sahayogiyo men se chatur chitrakar ji ki masoom aawaj aaee- ''han n sara, ham log sab yahan baithe intajar kar rahe hain . jaldi se kam nibata dena hai, fir pariksha ki kakshaon men lautana hoga .'' wah din meri narajagi ka tha . khoji nigahon ko tasalli dene wanamala ne jaise mujhe apaman ka mohara banaya tha . maine spasht aur do took jawab diya ki miting das baje se thi aur mujhe intajar karane adaee ghante ho gaye hain . maidam ko gyarah baje maine khabar bheji, lekin unaka mood nahin tha. chijen jab yoon chalati hain ki sahayak hi paramarsh-data aur kam karane wale sanpadak ko chalate chalen, berukhi dikhayen to mere hone ka koee matalab nahin hai. jahan kisi ke man men katuta aur durbhawana ho, wahan main kam nahin karoonga . aap jaisa bane khud hi kar len .'' mera ishara spashtata् wanamala ki or tha. jo bat ki bat thi use wanamala ne bakhoobi, samajh liya hoga . use ummid n rahi hogi ki sanbandhon ke aapasi mamale ko lekar wahan main us tarah usase pesh aaoonga. wah kewal badi-badi pashopesh bhari udas aankhon se mujhe ghoorati sunati rahi thi. usake chehare par shikayat aur pida ki shikan utar aaee thi. usaki aankhen nam ho chali thin. chitrakaraji ne safaee di - ''nahin sara, hamamen se kisi ne bhi aisa nahin socha . aap nahin rahenge to fir kam kaise hoga ?'' mera mood ukhada huaa tha . prisinpal ke samane pahuncha aur anajane ki tarah talab kiya ki

us din dan. nalin se maine wanamala ke wyawahar par dukh wyakt karate apani pida kah to di hi thi. wanamala ke wyawahar se mujhe is kadar witrshna huee ki maine abhi hal hi kisi pariwarik aayojan par staf ki or se upahar men bhent kiye samoohik chande se hisab lagate huye wanamala ka hissa nalinaji ke hathon men saunp diya. maine kaha ki ab jab main kisi sathi ke man ko andar tak jhank chuka hoon , tab usaki jhoothi sadbhawana aur ahasan main nahin kubool kar sakata. mera ab unase bat karane ka bhi talluk nahin hai isaliye miharabani karake yah unaka hissa aap lauta dijiye. wanamala ne bich men hastakshep karate huye mujhe yah samajhane ki koshish ki -''wah bhent to pariwarik hai. use aap kyon lauta rahe hain ? agar kuchh hai to wah mere aur aap ke bich hai. galatafahamiyan door ki ja sakati hain. aapas ki narajagi men aap chijon ko kyon wahan tak le ja rahe hain ? wah achchha nahin maloom padata. chhoti si bat thi. main aap ko kaise samajhaoon ? aap ne n mujhase bat ki aur n bat karane ka mauka diya. itana bura aap kyon man gaye ?'' baithak se main bahar nikal aaya tha . wigrah aur tanaw ke us dukhad paridrshy ke bad fir dan. nalin ne samajhane ke liye wanamala ko aur mujhe bulaya tha . unake samane khulakar baten hueen. maine bataya ki ye aaeen aur bulane par bhi mere pas n aaeen to mujhe bura laga tha . wanamala ka jawab tha ki use kisi ne bataya nahin . narayan se bulane ki bat ki pushti jab maine usi ko bulakar ki to wanamala ne doosara bahana nikala ki jab ye priyahari khud yahan the to kya mujhase bat nahin kar sakate the ? narayan babu ke hathon khabar bhijawane ki bhala kya jaroorat thi ? kya sachamuch narayan ke jariye khabar bhejane se koee gadabad huee ? kya kisi ne us par se fir wanamala ko chhedate huye tippani ki thi ? kya us sandesh ki janakari kisi aur ki upasthiti men pati huee wanamala par kisi ne tane kase the jisase tilamilati apana gussa wah mujh par utar rahi thi ? jo bhi raha ho, apani narajagi aur wikshobh sare aam wanamala par pradarshit karata main kamare se bahar chala aaya . wanamala ko aahat karate huye badale ki tasalli ke bawajood main n jane kyon apane aap men hi dara huaa aur udasi se bhara tha . yah wahi wanamala thi jisake liye pichhale dinon ke us khas pariwarik aayojan ke bad wah mithaiyan lekar kalej gaya tha . wanamala ke sammoh men khasataur par taiyar kiye rajabhog ka dibba tab tak wahan usane nahin khola tha, jab tak wanamala usake roobaru aakar khadi n ho gaee thi . bade manuhar ke sath pahala kaur usane use wanamala ko yah batate huye khilaya tha ki mithaee ka wah dibba tumhari pratiksha men hi ab tak band rakha tha . wah wahi wanamala thi jo mere aatmiy bulawe ke bawajood mere pariwarik aayojan se berukh rahi aaee thi. wanamala ke liye mera waisa diwanapan usaki waisi upeksha ke bawajood raha aaya tha. mera chitt apar pida se wyathit tha . durghatana ka yah din us priya wanamala ka janmadin tha. use dekhane, usase milane aur jane kitani-kitani baten usase karane ka manorath liye main kalej men pahuncha tha. maine kalpana bhi nahin socha tha ki

yah din achanak manahoosiyat ki yad banakar hamesha

ke liye kante ki tarah mujhamen

chubhan chhod jayega. wanamala se wigrah ke bad us roz sabhi ka chitt ukhad chala tha. sabha bhang ho gaee thi . sara kuchh gujar chala tha lekin n jane kyon is sahasapoorn jhagade ka mujhe malal tha . wanamala ko chot pahunchakar afasos se bhara mera man ro raha tha . ghatana ke bad jab hosh aaya to n jane kis prerana se mere kadam pariksha ke kamare men dyooti par tainat wanamala ki or mud gaye the . wanamala ko bahar bulakar mainne janmadin ki badhaee di thi aur use takalif pahunchane mafi mangi thi . wanamala ka mood bigada huaa tha . thik apane janmadin par apana samajhe jane wale priyahari se kadawe wyawahar ki use ummid n rahi hogi . apane apaman ki chot se aahat usane priyahari se badala liya ''bas rahane dijiye . sab ke samane aapaka drama dekh liya . bachche nahi hain aap . aaj sab ke samane aaj meri ijjat le li. aisa wyawahar aap ko shobha nahin deta. kya karane aaye hain aap ab ? kya aur kuchh baki rah gaya hai ?'' mujhako thanda huaa pakar ab wanamala ki garmi shabab par aa chali thi. apane apaman ka badala ab usi shaili men lene wah utaru ho aaee thi jisaka prayog das minat pahale main kar gaya tha. wah dhamaka rahi thi – '' ab to mera pichha chhodiye . samaj men aap ki kafi ijjat hai. aap widwan hain. bada nam hai aap ka. bacha rakhiye use, anyatha ek din sab ke samane aap ko mai bhi nanga kar doongi . jaiye aapa, mujhe ab aur kuchh nahin sunana hai aap se .'' udayan ka dhyan gaya hoga lekin baten sanbhawata् suni nahin gaee thin. anyatha prasarit jaroor hoti. baharahala, khuli khatapat to ho hi gaee thi . us din apane ko ''patrika'' se maine alag kar liya tha. han, -usase hi, jise ''patrika'' ka amoort nam maine aapasi pyar se diya tha aur jise meri wah patrika bakhoobi janati thi. sanbandh kya hote hain mujhe maloom nahin, lekin yah maloom hai ki toot gaye dikhaee padane par bhi judane-tootane ki daramyani smrtiyan kayam rahati hai- ek anant afasos se bhari pida ke sath . nalinaji ne bhi usake bad mujhase kuchh n kaha . bad men unake wyaktigat anurodh par patrika ke liye unaka prawachan aur apana sanpadakiy chitrakar sathi sanpadak ko saunp diya tha . wanamala par se mera wishwas toot chuka tha . maine tay kiya ki ab us wanamala ke samane bhi nahin padoonga, jise mera sath to kya, shayad mere chehare se bhi nafarat hai . maine bholababu se kahakar agale sal ke liye apani kakshayen ab subah ki jagah dopahar ke aasapas rakhawaeen taki wanamala ke chale jane ke wakt mera pahunchana ho . bholababu bangal ke kayasth the . har hal men winamr rahana, jhagade ke bich bhi thanda dimag rakhana aur kursi ke prati shwan ki tarah wafadari ke gun usamen hain . jahan aur log kewal apane sarakari kam se matalab rakhate hain wahan wah prachary ke sath chipaka rahakar duniya bhar ke kam batorate hain aur apani yogyata aur samajh ke mutabik donon ke bich is din jo huaa, usapar kamare men maujood usake sathi parikshak

unhen nibha dete hai . yah bat aur hai ki chapaloosi ki unaki wrtti aur atarkik kary-paddhati se staf ke loga, chahe purush hon ya striyann, chidate the . wanamala ke sath sanbandhon ke anubhaw is kadar katu ho chale the ki mujhe unase hi ek din kahana pada tha ki agale sal ka taim-tebal is prakar banaye ki mujhe subah aana hi n pade, jisase main nafarat aur ajanabipan ke watawaran se door rah sakoon . wanamala kalej chhod rahi hogi tab main pahunchooga. us din bhola ne hansakar mujhase kaha tha- ''tum bhi to sale waise hi ho . maine to tumako kaee bar ishara kiya tha, lekin tum ho ki usi se chipake rahate ho . ye auraten hoti hi aisi hain . panw ki jooti ki tarah dabaye rakho to thik rahati hain . jitana jyada maska lagaoge aur sar chadegin . aakhir dekh liya n tumane ? mai to kahata hoon aise logon se bat hi n karo . main to janata hoon in logon ko achchhi tarah .'' wah thik kah raha tha . isiliye shayad swarth ke mauke par chhoot lene mahilayen praya् prachary se kuchh kahane ki bajay riyayat pane bhola ki khushamad karana behatar samajhati thi . maine wanamala se apane ko darakinar rakhane ka us tarah intajam to kar liya lekin tab bhi kya huaa ? wah door sahi, use dekh lene ki man men abhilasha to bani hi rahi aaee . rel ki jagah bas se gyarah baje ke karib main pahunchata is mana् sthiti ke sath kihanfata huaa bhagata hai man ki pahunchoon isase pahale ki tum nikal jao . jisaka nam wanamala hai praya् wanamala ke nikalate aur mere pahunchate meri aankh ki pidit karuna aur usaki aankhon ki shikayat maun ki bhasha men milati rahi aur yoon din bitate rahe . us sal kalej ki patrika se main garmiyon ke jhagade ke bad alag ho gaya tha . wanamala se mere sanbandh ab praya् nahin rah gaye the . wah anamani apane aapamen rahi aati aur anamana main bhi usase door rahane ki koshish karata . usase to kabhi kisi ki pati nahin, lekin main apana gam chhipaye staf ke digar mitron khasakar khoobasoorat striyon nilanjana, manjari neha, wallari, manjoosha, suranjana anuradha se milata-ghulata raha . yah bat aur hai ki us milane aur ghulane men bhi andar-andar wanamala hi dilo-dimag men chhaee hoti . mere andar chhipi is pida ko sab janati thin . isaliye pas aakar bhi sanbhawata् inake man men wanamala bich men bani rahati thi . n we mere andar prawesh kar pa rahi thi aur n mera man thik-thik unamen ramata tha . wanamala ek thi, lekin sari ki sari any mere liye ek si thin- mauka milane par ghayal hrday ki maraham aur man ke badalaw ki tarakiben matr . wanamala bolati kuchh n thi, lekin use is sab ka aabhas to tha . yada-kada wah auron sath mujhe ghulata, baten karata dekh prashnawachak drshti se ghoorati bhar thi . ek maun mahawidyalay mere liye mahaj ek chehara hai .

shikayat ki mujhe tumhari yah bat pasand nahin hai . baten to usase bhi hoti thi lekin n ke barabar aur yada-kada hi, jisamen n main jyada khul pata tha aur n usaka dil .

000000000000

eershya bhi kitani chamatkarik hoti hai?

''priyahari, ye bataiye aap itana achchha likh kaise lete hain ? man ko chhu lene wale itane marmik shabd aap late kahan se hain . wanamala ki or ek nigah dalati anuradha boli- ''koee chahe kuchh bhi kahe, mujhe to patrika men sab se achchha hissa jo padane layak hai sanpadakiy ka hi laga.''

ko tawajjuh n dene wali wanamala se meri patati kaisi hai ? unamen kahin yah eershya bhi thi ki wanamala se dikhane-sunane, swabhaw aur aatmiy wyawahar men inase karib rahakar bhi wanamala ki hi main tarif kyon karata hoon ? usaka sahara hi kyon leta hoon ? we yah bat mujhase kaha bhi karati thi lekin dikhaee padate takarar aur manamutaw ke bich bhi wanamala aur meri upasthiti ke maun kshan aur sankshipt mulakaton ke bich sadharan si do char shabdon men huee baton ka andaj aisa rahasyamayi aatmiyata ka mahaul bhar deta tha ki ham donon ke hrday men uth rahi tarangen auron ko shankit kar deti thi . logon ko yah samajhane men der n lagati ki kuchh n hone ke bawajood kuchh hai . wah kya hai, ise n priyahari thik-thik jan saka n meri shubhachintak ye kaminiyann kabhi jan sakin . patrika chhapakar kab tak waise hi padi rahi, isaka thik-thik anuman mujhe nahin hai . bas itana yad hai ki aupacharik wimochan ke chakkar men wah nawanbar tak lataki rahi . aupacharik wimochan ke dauran us khas din maine wanamala ko wisheshata् lakshy karake dwi-arthi sankato men kewal chand shabd apane waktawy men kahe the. bas itana ki patrika ke wishay men main kya kahoon ? apani patrika ke liye jo kuchh mujhe kahana hai wah maine sanpadakiy men kah diya hai . bat samany dhang se kahi gaee thi, lekin usamen nihit sanket kya hai yah wanamala hi jan sakati thi . wah janati thi ki pyar men use maine ''patrika' 'ka paryay bana diya tha .

mahilayen is bat par aashchary karatin ki sanaki dimag wali, apani akad men auron

baton-baton men maine kabhi usase pahale hi kah diya tha- ''pyari wanamala, meri patrika to kewal tum ho, jise main din rat padata hoon .'' wanamala ke hrday ne mera sandesh achchhi tarah pakad liya tha . usake bad chay ke dauran prinsipal ke kamare men jab maujood staf ko patrika ke ank bannte gaye to maine dekha ki wanamala wismit prafullata se sanpadakiy ke roop men apane nam likha mera premapatr pad rahi thi . wanamala se ab tak ek prakar ka abolapan barakarar tha . wah apani rahasyamay udas any-manaskata men kya socha karati thi ise janana sadaiw asanbhaw raha hai . yah jaroor hai ki meri udasi ke sath usaki udasi ka samana jab bhi hota, samoocha mahaul dohari udasi se bharakar mujhe aur bechain kar deta tha . mujhe ab aisa pratit hota hai ki wanamala hi nahin, wanamala aur mere bich sanbandhon par najar rakhane wale karibi log bhi un shabdon ke arth samajhate the jo maine wimochan ke us khas din kahe the aur jinaki tafasil sanpadakiy men thi . yah bat do din bad ki hai . staf room men kewal ham tin the, wanamala, main aur anuradha . main bad men pahuncha tha anuradha aur wanamala pahale se aasapas baithi thi . pahunchakar main bhi unhin ke pas khada ho gaya tha . wanamala n hoti thi to use dekhane ki betabi aur pratiksha hoti . samane hoti to usake rahasyamay udas maun ki yatana se man bhari ho jata . maine dekha anuradha ke hath men kalej ki patrika thi . dekha ki anuradha ka chehara ullas ki smiti se bhara tha . meri upasthti se wah smiti chahak men badal gaee thi jo kataee banawati nahin thi . mukt man se meri tarif karati wah sanpadakiy ke shabd dohara rahi thi . usane kaha- ''wah kya bat hai ?'' mujhase mukhatib hokar usane poochha - ''priyahari, ye jaise chhed rahi ho, anuradha ne mugdh bhaw se meri tarif karani shuru kar di.

bataiye aap itana achchha likh kaise lete hain ? man ko chhu lene wale itane marmik shabd aap late kahan se hain . wanamala ki or ek nigah dalati anuradha boli- ''koee chahe kuchh bhi kahe, mujhe to patrika men sab se achchha hissa jo padane layak hai sanpadakiy ka hi laga.'' anuradha ke shabdon ko sunati bagal hi udas anyamanask khadi aur waise hi pustak ke panne palatati wanamala ke chehare par jaldi-jaldi kuchh bhaw aaye aur gaye . usaki sooni aankhen mujhe dekh rahi thi aur meri aankhen us kshan usaki aankhon ke soonepan men jhank rahi thin. mujhe aisa kuchh aabhas huaa jaise mere pahuchane se pahale anuradha aur wanamala ke bich kuchh niji sanwad huye ho sakate hain. maine anuradha ko dhanyawad diya . kaha -'' yah to aap samajhati hain . jinhen samajhana hai, we bhi samajhen tab to.'' babajood isake ki anuradha ka bich men hona wanamala aur mere bich pul ka kam kar raha tha ya anuradha hi khud janaboojhakar us kshan hamare bich pul bani huee thi, maine isi men bhalaee samajhi ki gar wanamala ko main pasand nahin hoon, agar wah apani akad men aboli hai to usake anaprediktabal mood ko nahin chhedana hi thik hai . abolepan ki doori maine barakarar rakhi aur turant pustaken uthakar kaksha men chala gaya . man men ek chij fir bhi bhar gaee ki jis par main marata hoon,, jisase main pyar karata hoon, jisake liye

mere shabd arpit hain, wah kitana nishthur hai ki sara kuchh janakar bhi usake munh se bol nahin footate . kala ki kakshaon ka wah pahala ghanta tha . apani kaksha lekar jyon hi main nikalane ko huaa wanamala ki kaksha ka ek chhatr manohar darawaje par takaraya- ''aap ko wanamala maidam ne bulane mujhe bheja hai .'' mujhe acharaj huaa aur aashchary se bhari khushi bhi ki aaj kaun sa shubh muhart hai, jo mera pyara dushman mujhe sandesh bhejakar bula raha hai . staf room men jakar main apani jagah baith gaya, lekin bat ki pahal maine fir bhi nahin ki . tabhi bahut dinonse aboli wanamala apani jagah se uth mere pas aa khadi huee. usane kaha- ''yek chitthi bhejani hai, aap mujhe likha dijiye .'' n jane kyon achchhe kshanon men bhi wanamala ke anishchit mood ki chhaya bani rahati hai . kya yah mera man tha ki dil men achchha lagane par bhi maine winamrata se use tala''aap to achchha likh leti hain likh lijiye na . koee khas bat to hai nahin is wishay men''mainne kaha . wah jid ki manuhar men boli- ''nahin aap jyada achchha likhate hain . aap mujhe boliye main likhoongi.'' patr samany sandarbh men tha . chhatr ki kisi pratiyogita ke liye chhatron nam bhejane the . maine likhaya wanamala ne likha . main wanamala ko niharata raha. kuchh bhi to nahin badala tha. usaka wahi gumasum udas chehara . anabole bhi bahut kuchh kahatin unhin khoee aankhon ki mujhamen samaee padati waisi hi bhedak drshti. maine socha ki pas chale aane ki pahal matr mere likhe sanpadakiy ke sanketik premapatr men nihit bhawanaon ki abhiswikrti thi . main chahata tha ki usaki chhati par sir rakhakar rooon . lekin waisa kar n saka . n jane kitane dwandon se ghiri wanamala udas thi . sanketon ko juban wah n de paee . lipi aur dhwani rahit bhasha men us din sara kuchh chhipa kar bhi wanamala jaise sara kuchh kah gaee thi aur maine sab sun liya tha- ''tum itane udas kyon ho ? mujhe bhi tumase utana pyar hain, jitana tumhe mujhase hai . anuradha ki baton par kyon jate ho ? tum to mere ho, kewal mere . mujhase tumhen koee nahin chhin sakata . tum mujhase kyon rooth jate ho . bhale samajh pao.'' han, yah bhi wanamala hi thi . wahi wanamala, jisaki rahasyamay khamoshi aur achanak prakat honewali kroorata se mere pran nikal ja rahe the . mujhe aisa ab lagata hai ki us din anuradha ki meri tarif aakasmik nahin thi . awashy mere pahunchane se poorw wanamala se anuradha ki bat gupachup huee hogi aur wanamala ke dandepan ke khilaf mere samane hi mere likhe ki tarif saprayojan ki gaee hogi . prayojan ya to wanamala ke man men hi main tumase nahin bat karati, mera dil to karata hai . nadan piya, tum itana to samajha karo . main tumhen kaise samajhaoon ? kash meri majabooriyan tum eershya bhi kitani chamatkarik hoti hai . apana abolapan todakar wanamala ka khud hi mere

eershya jagana raha hoga ya wanamala ke thandepan ko kosana . roothane aur manane ka yah khel wanamala ke sath mano shashwat ho chala tha . usake dil men kya tha yah samajhana mushkil tha . aisa lagata hai jaise stri aur purush ke bich yah khel prakrti se hi racha gaya hai . stri bachati hai, bhagati hai, thandi bani rahana chahati hai aur purush use sametana chahata hai, usaka pichha karata hai aur usake garm hone ka intajar karata hay-hay karata hai . samaj ka bhaya, naitik maryadayen pariwar ki ulajhane chaharadiwari ki kaida, garbh ka bhaya, aur in sab se oopar janngho ke bich chhipi ijjat ko khajane ki tarah sanbhal rakhane ki sikh stri par hamesha hawi rahati hai . yahi kuchh hoge jo wanamala ke man men bachaw aur samarpan ke bich dwand aur khijh men samaye rahate the . pashuon ke jagat men bhi ise aap thik wanamala-wrtti ke roop men dekh sakate hain . mada kabhi pahal nahin karati . kutton aur sandon ke jhund apani madaon ke pichhe bhagate hain . we bachati hain, bhagati hain, gurrati hain, katati hain aur bamushkil un par pichhe bhagata nar sawar ho pata hai . manushy ki jat men samaja, pariwar aur naitikata ki badhayen hain, lekin pashuon ke samaj men to nahin . fir waisa kyon hota hai ? shayad nar aur mada ki prakrti ke bich yah bhed shashwat hi hai . jab wanamala akeli hoti, pakad men aati aur ghar ke tanaw se mukt hoti tab wah achchhe se pesh aati . pyar ki baton par wah chuhal karati maja leti, tarasa-tarasa man men aur pyas bharati thi . lekin jab awasadagrast aur pareshan hoti to juban par koee niyantran n rahata . isi khel ke bich ek roj subah-subah main fir fon kar baitha . kisi samaroh men ek roj usi ke nagar rahakar hi lauta tha . wahan rahate aisa man karata ki usake ghar ghus jaoon, lekin ''man ka karana'' bas lachari hi hai . n raha gaya to dil ki baten kahane ki betabi men mistar ghar par hi the . jaroor use fon par jata dekh usane wyangy kiya hoga . wanamala fon par jawab deti ek dam mujhapar baras padi-'' bekar fon kyon kiya ? main kuchh sunana nahin chahati purushon se mitrata men meri koee dilachaspi nahin '',wagairah . kalej aati to mere khijhe huye mayoos chehare ko usaki aankhen shikayat se ghooratin . tum aisi moorkhata kyon karate ho ? mere liye musibat kyon khadi karate ho, mujhase door kyon nahin ho jate ? fir do-char roj men chijen samany ho jati . sanbandh yoon ho jate ki jaise kuchh huaa hi n tha . fon laga baitha . mera anuman galat tha . wah ghar se kalej ke liye nikali to n thi, lekin usake

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nilanjana ne fon uthaya . kaha ki wanamala maidam aap ko poochh rahi hain, aap bat kijiye . us din man men kshin si ichchha jagane par bhi maine wanamala se bat nahin ki .

meri aakanksha thi ki wanamala ki kawita ki shakl men basi yaden main use saunp doon taki hamesha wah yad rakhe ki main usase kitana pyar karata hoon aur usane mujhe kitana tarasaya hai . sangrah taiyar ho chhap chuka tha usaka wimochan widhiwat hona tha . kalej se bahar jakar man bahale yah sochakar risarch ke ek wishesh projekt ke bahane ilahabad jane ka maine jugad kar kiya tha . isaliye sankalpapoorwak main subah kalej pahuncha . jyon hi mila, maine wanamala ko kawitaon ki wah pustak saunp di . maine use bata diya ki yah tumhari hi pustak hai- tumhare liye, jisamen tum hi ho . yah ki usaka wimachan pahale moolata् wah kachchi pustak ke roop men kar chuki hai aur yah ki widhiwat wimochan bad men hoga . maine usase kaha ki yah mere pyar ka upahar hai . usake nam kawitaon ki pahali prati hai, jo sab se pahale main use hi arpit kar raha hoon. pustak men maine chahane ke babajood bhent aur pyar ke shabd janaboojhakar nahin likhe the kyon ki tab use ghar men pata chalane par paresha ni ho sakati thi . bhoomika sahit sara kuchh aise sanketon men wyakt tha jise wanamala bakhoobi samajhati thi . hamari aankhen milin . usake hoth khile aur ek jhalak dekhakar khushi-khushi wanamala ne mera sangrah apane bade pars ke hawale kar diya . us din wah khush thi . main aksar bade sahab ki jagah prashasan ke charj men raha karata tha . shayad us din bhi aisa hi tha . do minat bad bhola ne prawesh kiya tha . wanamala ne ekadh waky men usase kamakaji bat ki hogi, lekin bhola ko talakar wah fir bahanon se mujhase baton men mukhatib ho gaee thi . usaki khushi, usake khile ki wanamala ke kis roop par main mugdh hooon aur kis roop par dukhi . wanamala ke sath pyar aur wigraha, roothane aur manane ka khel badhaon ke bawajood chalata raha tha. fir bhi n jane kyon wanamala ka khinchawa, usaka apratyashit chidachidapan mujhamen malal paida kar raha tha. mere sare gunon, sari abhiruchiyann, gharu sanskaron ke akrtrim bij usi men hain aur wahi meri sangini ho sakati hai . fir bhi jab wah khulakar samane nahin aa rahi hai, sath dene taiyar nahin hoti to kyon n main bhi usase door rah apani pidaon se mukti pa loon ? main aksar socha karata ki pyas mujhe unaki or khinchati thi, lekin wanamala hamesha bich men aa jati thi . ham donon ke bhawanatmak sanbandh lagabhag waise hi ban chale the jaise pati aur patni ke hote hain . ham sab- kuchh karengeek-doosare se nafarata, pyara, jhagada, roothana, manana lekin ek doosare par adhikar nahin chhodenge, fir chahe koee aur kitane hi bich men kyon n aa jayen . yah ek wichitr bandhan tha jo hamen bandhe tha aur jisane hamesha bandhe rakha tha . chehare, usake trpt man se main romanchit bhi tha aur dukhi bhi . der tak main sochata raha

sanyogawash us khas awasar par main fir prashasan ke charj men tha jab ki yah bat hai . doosare din bhadon ke shukl paksh ki tij ka tyauhar tha. nilanjana us wakt mere pas thandi bayar ka sukh deti khadi thi . wanamala ka sath jahan hamesha uttejana aur

bechaini chhod jata tha, wahi nilanjana ka pas hona os ki un shital boondon ka ahasas jagata tha jo dil aur dimag ko rahat deti thi . nilanjana se mera kabhi pal bhar ke liye bhi man mutaw n huaa . aisi bal-sulabh saralata, aisa sahaj khulapan ki bhawana aur prem ke dekheadekhe sandesh bhari baton ke bawajood kabhi n use, aur n mujhe yah ahasas ho pata tha ki ham ek-doosare ko aakarshit karane ki cheshta men lage hain . itani sahaj aur akrtrim chahat jisamen tanaw ka koson door tak kam n tha . hamane fon par n jane jab-tab kitani kaisi aur kitani der tak baten ki hongi . aato riksha men sath-sath chipake baten karate dooriyan tay ki hongi . bhid bhari bas ki bonat par sath chipake aur batiyate rahe, kalej men sath baithe ghanton kam kiya, lekin hamesha dil aur dimag ko rahat dene wali tasalli wahan huaa karati n jane kyon thi . isake wiparit jise main dil men basaye tha wah wanamala priya hamesha

mujhe kewal pareshan karati thi . wanamala ke man ko kabhi main thik-thik nahin padh saka. use nilanjana se bhayankar chid thi . pasand to wah kisi ka bhi mere pas fatakana nahin karati thi lekin nilanjana ka mere sath hona usake liye bardasht se bahar tha . us din mere chaimbar men bhid-bhad nahin thi . nilanjana aur main sahaj nam-manuhar bhari baten kar rahe the . nilanjana ki baton men aisi kashish hoti itana sahaj manuhar hota ki adhikar jaisa jhagada gayab huaa karata tha . usaka anurodh main ya mera anurodh wah man jaye ya dikkaton ke karan nahin mana jaye, tab bhi aisi tasalli se chijen khatm hoti ki n to main roothata tha aur n wah . achanak fon ki ghanti baji . nilanjana se maine kaha ki tum hi fon utha lo . nilanjana ne fon uthaya . kaha ki wanamala maidam aap ko poochh rahi hain, aap bat kijiye . us din man men kshin si ichchha jagane par bhi maine wanamala se bat nahin ki . mere man ne kaha ki yoon samany bhi bat karana chahoon to sab ke bich wanamala mujhe anasuna kar deti hai aur ab fon par bat karane ki achanak sahaj pahal ? maine aashchary prakat karate yah bat nilanjana se saf-saf ujagar kar bhi di . usase kaha ki tumhin poochh lo kya bat hai . nilanjana ke chehare par jhijhak aaee . lekin mere ishare par usi ne bat ki . nilanjana ne bataya ki we poochh rahi hai ki kal chhutti de rahe hain kya ? us samay berukhi dikhata jawab dena bhi main tal gaya . mere man ko yah anubhaw kar rahat mili ki mere nikat nilanjana ki kalpana kar aur meri taraf se use fon par sunakar jarur wanamala ko eershya huee hogi . use yah ahasas hona chahiye ki main utana upekshaniy nahin hoon jitana wah samajhati hai . yah ki wanamala nahin to kya usake alawa mere sath ke liye aur bhi hain . wah awasar isaka bhi tha ki nilanjana par yah prakat ho jaye ki wanamala se main utana bandha nahin hoon jaisa use lagata hoga . wanamala ke irade mere man men n jane kyon sandeh bhar rahe the . main tab aksar socha karata aur ab bhi sochata hoon ki yah kaisa khel tha, jisamen ek doosare par adhikar ki dawedari to thi- lekin wah dawedari meri or se jahan pyar aur manuhar men prakat hoti thi, wahan wanamala thi ki hamesha wigraha, rosh aur eershya se mujhe chot mujhase to wah aboli rahati , pahunchakar tasalli pati prakat karati thi . staf ke bich hamesha

lekin sewakon se profesaron tak sabhi se batachit men sahaj aur nirdwand huaa karati thi ? wah is tarah huaa karata ki mere liye usaki prakat upeksha aur mujhase sanbandhon men

usaki kadawahat sari bhid ki najaron men rahi aati thi . sanbandhon men medha men, wicharon aur bhawanaon men wah sab se karib mere thi, lekin mere samane aakar khadi hoti aur chhoti-chhoti bat par ray kisi aur se leti thi . makasad aisa dikhaee padata jaise wah janaboojhakar logon par prakat karana chahati hai ki is aadami se mujhe nafarat hai, isase mera koee sanbandh nahin hai, yah mere liye upekshaniy hai . yah wichitr bat hai ki wanamala ne kabhi n socha ki usake aise bartaw se mere dilo- dimag par kya gujarati thi . usake liye men khilauna tha . jab chaha khela, jab chaha tod diya . in halaton men aksar mere man ki kadawahat aur eershya achanak jag padati thi . aisa hi us din bhi huaa tha. badhaon ke bawajood aankhon aur bhawanaon ke adekhe-dekhe sanket samajhaute ki jo bhasha hamamen ban rahi thi wah achanak aur anachahe meri galati se mere aur wanamala ke bich ugr katuta men badal gaee thi .

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aap ko to bas hamesha

yoon hi dar laga rahata hai

kya wanamala ka wyangy us upeksha ka pratishodh tha

jo pichhale dinon par ba-raste nilanjana fon ki doriyon se wanamala ko bhej di thi ?

han, us roj galati maine hi ki thi . parikshayen chal rahi thin . march ka mahina tha . yada-kada jahan awakash nikale subah ke logon ko sham ki parikshaon men bulane ki niti bani thi . subah wanamala ki ek jhalak dekhane ka bhi awasar bhi dushkar tha . wah subah aati, main dopahar ko bad men pahunchata . yoon hi dyootiyon men yada-kada sham usaki jhalak dekhakar bhi mere man ko rahat pahunchati thi . us din dopahar bad wah aaee aur mujhe anadekha kar mere sahayakon se manuhar men lag gaee ki agale dinon men usaki sham ki dyooti katakar badal di jaye . wanamala lokabhay se itana sahamati thi ki badha samajhe jane wale kisi gair ke samane mujhase aankh tak nahin milati thi fir bat ki bat to door rahi . par n jane kyon tab meri buddhi bhrasht ho chali thi ? main us wakt pariksha ka sarwopari adhikari tha . mujhe anadekha kara, abola rakh bhola aur satyajit ke samane gidagidakar wanamala ko apani jagah kisi jooniyar kam-chalaoo ladaki ka nam rakh dene ka aagrah unase karata pakar mera ahankar jag utha . han, daraasal wah meri upeksha hi thi . bhola aur satyajit use tasalli dete usase sahanubhooti darshate raji ho hi rahe the ki main baras pada . narajagi dikhate huye maine kaha ki adhikshak main hoon

aur aashwasan dete sahanubhooti batoranewale, dyooti badalane wale bich ke thekedar any ban gaye hain . siniyar ki apani garima hai dyooti soch samajhakar lagaee gaee hai . tum kyon nahin aa sakatin ? maine kaha- tumhare hone ka apana mahatw hai, wah ladaki tumhari jagah kaise aayegi ? mere barasane men bhi wanamala ke liye prashansa ka bhaw kayam tha, lekin wanamala ke man men to kuchh aur hi tha . sahayakon ki aankh men jhankati wyangyapoorwak usane mujh par chot kiya ''garimamay upasthiti ! achchha ?'' meri or lakshy kar usane kaha ''meri hi upasthiti par logon ka dhyan kyon rahata hai ? auron par kyon nahin ? yahan to hamesha yootiyan dason sal se badali jati hain . mere sath hi naee bat kya ho gaee ?'' kshobh se tilamila kar maine bhi wyangayapoorwak palatawar kiya- ''han hain kuchh log jinake karan hi to sari wyawastha chaupat ho gaee hai . wahi to tumhare shubhachintak aur paramarshadata hain, main to moorkh hi raha aaya.'' sanketon men bewafaee aur chaloopan ka mera tana wanamala ko ja laga . usane meri or dekha . usaki aankhon men shikayat aur aansu ki boonde thi . mere gusse ne sara mahaul kharab kar diya tha . wanamala ki upasthti par mere aagrah ka arth prakat ho chuka tha . fir kisi ne kuchh n kaha aur wanamala usi tarah nam aankh ke sath yah kahati chali gaee ki n jane mere hi mamale men ye sab baten kyon uthati hain ? sara kuchh gujar jane ke bad main yah sochata raha ki kya wanamala ka wyangy us upeksha ka pratishodh tha jo pichhale dinon par ba-raste nilanjana fon ki doriyon se wanamala ko bhej di thi ? d

un garmiyon men pariksha ke bad fir bade sahab ke chhutti par jane par main unaki jagah kam karata raha . bahar mere kam se, wyawahar se, kahin bhi yah prakat n hota tha ki mera man kitana toota huaa hai aur dukhi hai . purush hon ya striyann staf men meri chhabi mihanat aur lagan se kam karane wale ki thi . ek-do ko chhod mujhase sabhi ke sanbandh achchhe the . wanamala hi thi jisake wyawahar aur jisaki mudraon se, usaki upasthiti se main achanak sab se kata aur awamananit mahasoos karata tha . nishchayata् hamare sanbandhon ke bich uthati-girati tarangon ko log bhi pad aur dekh rahe the, lekin wah shayad maryada hi thi jo logon ko mujhase sidhe is bare men bat karane se rokati thi . joon ke aakhir men mera irada chand logon ko unaki chhuti्tayon se pahale bulane ka tha taki naye satr men chhatron ki prawesh sanbandhi kuchh taiyariyan poori ho jayen . sanbhawit chand logon men wanamala mere dhyan men sarwopari thi . usase mere sanbandh parasparik adhikar-bhawana aur pyar se jude the . sarwajanik roop men jo ghatata tha, wah niji ekantik mulakaton men behad aatmiy aur wyaktigat men badal jata tha . main chahata tha ki hafte do hafte sahi ham nirwighn bhayamukt hokar sath baithen aur pyar ki baton se jhagadon ki bharapaee karen . wanamala se in dinon kabhi maine yah bat kah bhi di thi . achanak ek din fon ki wah khas ghanti baji jisake liye main tarasata tha . dopahar ka samay tha . wanamala ki aawaj men sankoch rahit khanak thi . jaroor mood achchha raha hoga aur fon par

lain kliyar thi . usane poochha- ''aap ne chhutti se ek hafta pahale bulane ki bat kahi thi . aaj main aap ke bulawe ka intajar kar rahi thi, lekin aap ki taraf se n koee sanket n soochana . bula rahe hain na ?'' maine kaha- ''han, main chahata tha ki apane wishwas ke khas ek do logon ko bulaoon jo wanamala aur mere bich badha n bane . bematalab ki bhid ka main kya karoonga ? lekin fir dar lagata hai ki khas taur par tumhen mere sath pakar logon ki ungali n uthe .'' ''aap ko to bas hamesha yoon hi dar laga rahata hai'', wanamala ne kaha . maine wanamala ko sujhaya- ''tum to aise hi kisi bahane yahan aa jao . turant aadesh bana liya jayega aur chhutti ka labh mil jayega .'' nakharon ka jakhira wanamala ke pas tha . mujhe pratit hota hai ki in tatwon ka purushon ko khichane men apana mahatw hota hai . shayad isiliye main wanamala ke pyar ki dor se bandh gaya tha. aisa nahin ki nilanjana yah janati nahin thi . use achchhi tarah aabhas tha ki main usaka sath chahata hoon, usase pyar karata hoon . lekin wah thi ki bajay mujhase ruthane, jhagadane, munh fulane ke khud hi maidan chhodakar mujhe wanamala ki or dhakelakar bhag jati thi . aksar apane aur mere bich dakhal deti rosh bhari aankhon se dhamakati wanamala ko anek awasaron par nilanjana ne dekha hai- lekin ek wiwasha, maun udasi ke alawa jo kshanik huaa karati thi, nilanjana ne kabhi cheshta nahin ki wah apane warshon sath nibhate purane khichadi-partanar ko chhin le . nilanjana ki is sahaj samarpit saralata par mujhe afasos raha hai aur hamesha raha aayega . agar wah apani shikayat ko swar de sakati to shayad yah kahani n banati jo mere liye dard ki dastan ban gaee . khol pana mere liye asanbhaw tha aur hamesha

wanamala ke sath dil ki dor is kadar bandh gaee thi ki usaki ganth ko rahega . usake pichhe ka karan yah tha ki

ek doosare ke dilon men chahat ki bhasha ham donon men bakayada sanwad ban chuki thi . nimn-madhyawarg ki pariwarik prshthabhoomi, ghar ke sanbandhon ki tisa, dil aur dimag men adbhut samanata, pratibha ka milan aur fir pratham drshti se hi bandhe prem aur sath ki yaden aise pul ka kam karati thi jo paristhitiyon aur chitt men chhaee ghanaghor ghata ke bich bijali ki tarah kaundh-kaundh kar hamen jaga deti thin . yahi wah rahasy hai jisane wiparit paristhitiyon aur kadawahat ke bich bhi pyar hi pyas hamamen jagaye rakhi hai . main janata hoon ki jab dilon par chhupi yah gatha kagaj par utar rahi hai, tab bhi wanamala ke man ki tarangon ko wah usi tarah udwelit kar rahi hai jis tarah main unhen pratipal sanjoye huye hoon . baharahal honi men jo likha tha, wah huaa . main nirantar dekh raha tha ki wanamala ke mujhase sanbandhon men wah garami najar nahin aati thi jo tab thi, jab ham done jhagad kar alag huye the . donon men adbhut apar swabhiman ki n wah jhukegi aur n main jhukoonga, bhale ham toot kyon n jayen . donon ko yah aabhas ki bhautik dooriyon ke bawajood hamare dil ek-doosare ko chhodakar nahin ja sakate . use maloom tha ki hamare sath ka, khasakar mere liye usake sath ka wikalp koee aur ho hi nahin sakata . fark kewal itana ki wah ni् shart samarpan aur ekadhikar chahati thi aur main tha ki use sahaj samarpit tha . usamen is bat ko lekar gahari eershya thi ki main auron ke aakarshan aur prashansa ka kendr kyon kar ban jata

hoon ? auron ko mere nikat aata dekh wah apani witrshna, apana gussa kabhi n chhipa paee . use is bat ka wishwas kabhi nahin raha ki main usi ka aur kewal usi ka hoon . bawajood isake ki subah ke daure se alag huye lanba arasa bit chala tha aur maine bahut der se pahunchana shuru kar diya tha, main bas se roj isi ummid se gyarah baje kanlej pahunchata ki doori ke sanbandh sahi, apani priya ki ek jhalak dekhakar hi mera din krtarth ho jayega . waisa hota bhi . donon ki rahasyamayi najaren uthatin, milatin aur ginatin, lekin hoth sile rahate . fir maine paya ki dhire-dhire unamen kahin shikayata, rosh aur witrshnaki chhaya bhi shamil hone lagi hain . wah yoon muh banati ki jaise usase mujhe koee matalab nahin hai . aksar yoon hota ki samuday men akele chahachahane ke bich yadi hamame se doosara pahunch jata to honthon par chuppi ke udas tale lag jate the . wanamala ke rukh me is kadar badalaw ki kalpana bhi mere liye dushkar thi. main wismit tha.

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mere aur bhi diwane hain, kadradan hain . apana prem lekar tum baithe raho

mere man men holika, tere dil men ranga. sans tarasati chikhati, mujhe laga lo ang .

meri aankhen ग़majada, tujhamen bhara umanga॥ janam tumhen pukarata janam-janam ka sang ॥ -maulik

********************** achanak wah din aaya jab mainne jana ki kya ho gaya hain we naye sal men parikshaon ke din the . farawari ka antim saptah tha . parikshayen haule-haule aaranbh ho chuki thin, lekin holi ke karan do-tin din chhuti्yon jaise mahaul ke the kyonki un dinon parikshayen nahin thin . shaniwar ka din tha aur doosare roj holi jalani thi . ranga, gulal aur fir dhadalle se bikati sharab ke badarang mahaul ke bhay se log khasakar striyann aghoshit chhuti्yann mar leti thi . ghar men mera man n lagata tha aur kalej mere liye wanamala ka paryay tha . is na-ummid sanbhawana se ki shayad wanamala aaye, main apane samay se kalej pahunch gaya . wanamala ki yadon men main din-rat khoya rahata tha . adrshy eeshwar se main manaya karata ki usase ekant men mulakat ke awasar muhayya karaye taki dil ki baten tafasil men ho saken . meri udas aankhen wismit chamak se bhar uthin jab maine paya ki us din shikshakon men akeli wanamala pahunch band khidakiyon ki adhanim raushani men wanamala baithi huee hain . usane mujhe aata dekha, mujhase najaren mili aur ek halki si muskurahat usake hothon ke ek kone par ubhari . us din maine lakshy kiya ki us

muskurahat men swagat ka ullas nahin tha, kewal ek widroop bhaw tha . maine baton ki pahal ki hi thi ki wah ‘han-hoon’ karati apane bade kale pars se kapiyon ke lain wala dopanna nikalakar najaren daudane lagi . usaki aankhon men wah chamak aur muskarahat ab maine dekhi jisaki pahale maine khwahish ki thi . maine poochh ''kya pad rahi ho ? kuchh wishesh hai kya ? ''kuchh nahin bas yoon hi''- usane kaha . jaise is bhay se ki main use baton men n laga loon, achanak usane we panne pars men dale aur pars utha daftar men jakar baith gaee . aahat man apani takadir ko usaki berukhaee par kosata kin-kartawyawimood akela baitha raha . mujhe ummid thi ki shayad koee chhota-mota kam ho aur wah yahan laut aayegi . lekin nahin, daftar men majaboori men pahunche do-tin baboo-chaparasiyon aur ekadh any ke bich takariban aadha ghanta baithakar wanamala lauti . maine bahar nigah dali to paya ki usake wishay ka sahakarmi wipul apane bachche ko sath liye skootar se utara tha . usane mujhe dekhakar bhi jaise n dekha tha. wanamala se aupacharik ek-do, n karane ke barabar baten ki aur jaise aankhon ke sanket huye, bachche ko apani anguli thamaye wipul aur apana pars uthaye usake pichhe-pichhe wanamala chal chali . kaimpas ke bahari get tak ke sau kadam skootar thelate wipul aur usake wipul pichhe chalati wanamala ne tay kiye . sadak par aakar pahale skootar yoon muda jaise wipul pichhe apane ghar lautane ko ho . lekin nahin, achanak skootar ne pal takariban aadha ghanta kar wanamala ki rah ki disha pichhe wanamala ko bithaye men rukh kar liya. samane bachche ko khada kiye, wipul ka skootar furr ho gaya tha. wanamala ki berukhi ka

rahasy mere samane ujagar ho gaya tha . usaki aankhon men lachar udasi men bolati

wafadari ab besharm bewafaee men badal gaee thi . meri aankhon men atit ke drshy ek-yek kar aaye aur chale gaye . yah wahi aadami tha, jise apane ghar aur mere pyar ke bich pashopesh men fansi wanamala ne bhay se wishwas men lekar mere diwanagi bhare fon ki bat kah di thi . yah wahi aadami tha jisane nilanjana ke prasang men wanamala se meri jhoothi shikayat kar bhadakaya tha . yah wahi aadami tha, jo subah ka daur chhodane se pahale hi wanamala ke man men is bat se jahar bhar raha tha ki mera wanamala se taaalluk dikhawa hai aur daraasal to main nilanjana aur digar auraton ke chakkar men pada rahata hoon . yah wahi aadami tha, jo wanamala ko yah pada raha tha ki use mujhase kaise door rahana chahiye ? yah ki wanamala meri or dekhana kis tarah tal de ? yah ki jahan main rahoon wahan se uthakar wah kis tarah chali jaye ? yah ki mere sath wah kam n kare . yah ki jahan mere rahane ki sanbhawana bhi ho, wah kamon se kaise munh mod jaye ya d yootiyan badalawa len . yah wahi tha jisane mere aur wanamala ke bich darar paida karane ki muhim chalaee aur bakayada mujhe kam ki subah ki pali chhodane badhy kiya tha . mujhe anuradha ki kahi bat bhi yad aaee ki aap inhen janate nahin. ye log khu् d ham kala-sankay walon ki buraee karate hain aur ladakon-ladakiyon ko apani kakshaon ke bad bhaga dete hain . yahi wah tha, jo wanamala ke hi nahin chhatron ke man men bhi mere wiruddh jahar bhara karata tha. us din yah sabit ho gaya ki wah apana kam kar chuka tha . wanamala ke man

men mere wiruddh jahar bharane ka usaka makasad poora ho chuka tha . mujhe bhayanak sadama laga . yah wahi aadami tha, jise wanamala nakabil aur chalu kism ka wyapari dimag wala samajh jisaki buraiyan karati, usake khilaf mujhase salah mannga karati thi . us roj mujhe anadekha karati wanamalan bejhijhak uthakara, us aadami ke pichhe is tarah chali gaee thi, jaise ab tak usi ki pratiksha men wah baithi rahi aaee thi. sab-kuchh jaise poorw niyat tha . yah wahi wanamala thi, jisaki aankhen hajaron jhagadon aur ghar ke sankaton se ubhare rosh aur narajagi ke bawajood mujhase milate hi udas sankoch aur shikayat se takaraya karati thi aur bhari bhid ke bawajood mujhase baten karati thi . us din un aankhon men sankoch aur pashopesh ki wajah behayaee aur ghamand tha . manon unamen alikhit sandesh chhipa tha''tum apane aap ko samajhate kya ho ? tumhen poochhata kaun hai ?'' us din meri pida ka maja leti un aankhon men mano khas taur par eershya bhara ahankar chhipa tha, jo kah raha tha- '' achchhi tarah dekh lo ki mere aur bhi diwane hain, kadradan hain . apana prem lekar tum baithe raho .'' us khas din jab main chutaki bhar choodi (holi ka lal ranga) rang le gaya tha ki agar mauka mila to wanamala ki mang men aaj use is tarah bikher doonga ki nahane ke wakt usaka poora sharir mere pyar ke rang se rang jaye . main usase saf taur par kahoonga ki ruthi rani, mere pyar ka rang ab bhi waisa hai, tum berukh kyon ho ? tumhare sare sandeh bebuniyad hain aur yah ki mere dil ki rani tumhin ho, tumhare rang ke siwa meri aankhon men kisi ka rang nahin chadata-lekin nahin, us din us rang ko priya wanamala mere pyar ki holi ki rakh banakar chhod chali thi . mujhase nigah ferati nigahon men us din manon pratishodh men wijay ka garw chhipa tha, jisamen yah sandesh tha ki dekh lo, ab mujhe pyar ke sahare ki jarurat hi nahin hai . main tumhare bagair akeli nahin hoon . doosara sahara khud mujhe dhoondata chala aaya hai . main kam nahin, kamajor nahin . yah sandesh tha ki ab tum atit par aansu bahate apani aakankshaon ki rakh male meri pratiksha karate baithe raho, main chali aur ab lautakar nahin aane wali hoon . bhayawah upeksha, nirasha aur awasad se mere chitt men uthati tarangon men atit ki smrtiyon ke anek rang ekabaragi uthate-milate-mitate gaddamagadd ho rahe the . ab yah tay ho gaya tha ki jo durghatanayen mere sath ghat rahi thi, unamen kewal us wipul ka hath hi nahin tha, usake sath wanamala ki prerana aur ichchhayen bhi judi thin .

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