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Dharam Nice Guy Game
“I never imagined I’d enjoy what I do; I thought this privilege was only reserved for sports stars, singers, performers, etc. However, I wakeup everyday looking forward to doing what I do, I have a truly emergent passion to teach others, and I aspire to one day be recognised as a master of the art. This book illustrates my journey thus far and answers some of the many questions I hear everyday, amongst others questions such as: ● How to open smoothly ● How to build a connection with women ● How to leave a lasting impression ensuring women never flake ● How to build a high value social circle ● How to master sexual escalation This journey is one I never imagined possible for me. I hope sharing it with you will allow me to continue with my passion of teaching others and I hope you gain from it, as much as I did living it”
Dharam Nice Guy Game
Who Am I?...
“Dharam has been my go-to guy on so many occasions, the times when we really need a student to get a result, be it a number or a lay, he always delivers. In a short space of time he has gone from student to approach coach to trainer to master trainer to MPUA and now leads his own sold-out events. His energy and passion is contagious and he’s destined for great things.” Richard ‘Gambler’ La Ruina
“This guy is not only an incredibly great instructor, but his got that same raw enthusiasm I first had… which is one of the hardest things to find in the community, especially in the guys who have been practicing for a very long time.” AFCAdam Lyons.
Dharam Nice Guy Game
Who am I? You know who I am… I’m Your Friendly, Neighbourhood PUA Dharam ;-) Why does that make me qualified to write a book? Well it doesn’t, and this isn’t a book, its a Mission Statement, kind of like my Jerry Maguire, I woke up in a cold sweat and started writing. This is the story of a journey, starting from a cold, lonely, anxious weekend a year and a half ago to last weekend where I spent the best part of it breaking up with 9 women in a futile attempt to show 1 girl she could trust me. How did I end-up here? Well that’s something I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d be writing about, but before I start talking you though it and talk you through how to recreate it, I think it is important you should know that I don’t think what I write about is everything one needs to know on the subject of dating and relationships, nor do I feel it is a blanket concept that everyone can grasp and relate, it is what I have come to know over the last year and a half, and I am 100% certain that I will learn even more over the next year and a half and beyond. For now I hope you enjoy reading this and gain from it as much as I did living it. It’s a hot sticky day made worse by being stuck in this horrid suit, sitting at my desk staring at the clock in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen, counting the time until the working day is over, again! Then a thought hits me, what was it, that documentary I saw on TV channel 4 a year ago, that guy could who could get any woman’s contact details
I am 21 years old. she was my first girlfriend. having not read a single bit of theory I book myself in for a bootcamp the following week. So as you can see I still think about it. I remember when I was with my ex-girlfriend I MIDDAY SATURDAY APRIL 5TH 2008 I walk in to London Night Club Tiger Tiger. we met whilst I was in college and I never went uni so my life revolved around her. but I was just kidding myself. its my turn. wondering what to expect. I HAVE TO GOOGLE THIS! So number one on the search engine pops-up PUA Training. We go around and introduce ourselves to each other and to Richard ‘Gambler’ La Ruina. shapes and sizes.Dharam Nice Guy Game in five minutes.com PUATRAINING .. When we brokeup my world fell apart. in fact I still remember standing outside my ex-girlfriend’s school as I ask her if it was ok for me to kiss her. I didn’t know what to do. I had never approached a girl. ‘Hi guys. I have since got with some other girls. let alone sexually escalated. I brokeup with my ex-girlfriend a year or so ago. I don’t want to be with them its not as good as it was with my ex and I wonder what I am doing settling. I see a room full of guys of all different ages. my names Dharam. it lasted a few seconds as her maths teacher walks passed and she pulls away. it is the worst feeling in the world. I stand-up and it goes a little something like this: niceguygame.
com PUATRAINING . Every now and then we have some superstar students. is that they go for it. especially if its your first girl and you get stuck in your ways. Columbian background university student. I know it will flake. here I am. I try it on a few girls after some encouragement to approach. raring to go. Something doesn’t feel right. and then Gambler turns to me and says: ‘Its hard when you’ve been with one girl for so long. I disregarded it being with my ex-girlfriend at the time. a raised in England. joking. and the one thing they all have in common. we talk for near enough 40 minutes about everything from presents to flags to TV shows and then we exchange numbers. other students are smiling. but you seem like a kool guy and we can defiantly help you over this weekend.Dharam Nice Guy Game saw this show on TV where this dude could get any girl’s number in like five minutes. they don’t go to bad. I wasn’t that superstar student… 3PM SATURDAY APRIL 5TH 2008: My first ever daygame session. I am told to approach using the opener given to us earlier that day. buying a ‘Present For A Friend’ opener. I am petrified! I look around and there is excitement in the air. they think its one weekend and they do everything the trainer asks of them and they throw themselves at it 100%.’ Everyone claps. I hit Google and a week later. there is no way this girl is going to niceguygame. As we step in to field. then I stop Maria. but recently it popped back in to my head. I shy away and sit back.
com PUATRAINING . I am not looking forward to it. turns to Gambler and says ‘Hey Can I have a pickup alias now???’ Gambler looks his usual self. Then we’re told the next live session will be daygame again at 3pm. but what’s keeping me there. when is that line going to arrive.Dharam Nice Guy Game respond to me. highlight of the bootcamp. daygame over. is false hope that any moment 6PM SUNDAY APRIL 6TH 2008: My personal highlight of the bootcamp arrives. But the bright side. when will that moment pass………….That moment never came round. I did absolutely nothing except follow a trainer and other students around and watch them approach all night and now my feet hurt. MIDDAY SUNDAY APRIL 6TH 2008: We start the day with a recap of the night before. he turns and says ‘I was thinking Gandalf. we are all sitting around a big table eating dinner and one guy. a student.’ Now even me. smiles and says ‘Course. I just want to go home. niceguygame. kind of like the wizard from Lord of The Rings and also it starts with the letter G just like your pickup alias. I barely make any approaches over the hour. so I applaud. so we can go back to Tiger Tiger and relax before another horrid in-field session! now we will be given a magic line that can make women fall at your feet. and when the time arrives. Other students talk about there success. what were you thinking?’ and then here it is.
He is now my aim. we get to know each other and exchange numbers. my first ever solid close!!! I arrange 7PM SUNDAY APRIL 6TH 2008: The superstar student who got 12 numbers and a makeout throughout the course of the weekend leaves early to catch a train home.com PUATRAINING . niceguygame. the first girl I am ever going to win over with game! She is grabbing a sandwich too.Dharam Nice Guy Game with all the fatigue and mental and emotional drainage from the bootcamp can still find that f*cking hilarious! HOW THE REST WENT: I went away and practiced. the one friend I told I was going on this course. walks me round shops. This was it. We take a break to grab a sandwich in M&S. I went out daygaming with Raj. never did I imagine I’d travel further. things went a lot better when I didn’t have other students around me out-performing me. that is where I want to be! Approximately just over a year and a half ago I made my mind up that he is where I want to be. 12 numbers and a makeout. not wanting to look inferior to my friend who has no training yet. so after five or so minutes of hesitation I pluck-up the courage to approach. he is sent off with a big round of applause from all of us. I use the ‘Present For A Friend’ opener. and then I see her. she spends her whole lunch break from work with me.
We are together for about two months and she ends up falling for me. and again as we sit in my car. niceguygame.Dharam Nice Guy Game a date the next night. I have always been a relationship guy and I just want to find the one. I make a decision. that is it. I have to put in the hard work…GAME ON. I never got in to this to hurt women. I need to hone this skill properly. we go out. She is so hurt and cries to me. so sad and so deep that I can still hear it today. then. no more short cuts. I don’t feel the same and come clean about everything about game. and with no experience of sexual escalation I turn and say ‘I want to kiss you’ and then go for it. Right there.com PUATRAINING .
What!! How did he get with her?!? Truth is. I thought the answers were unexplainable and it was just nature.com PUATRAINING . I quickly realised that the first thing I had to do was stop placing value upon women based on there looks. As I started my journey I often saw guys ‘punching beyond their weight’ and I wondered what it was they had.Dharam Nice Guy Game Introduction ‘What!! How did he get with her?!?’ ‘How does he always get the girls?’ ‘What do I have to do to get the women I want?’ These three were just many of the questions I constantly asked myself before I began my journey. most of the time. and you ask yourself this question. we’re all born different and perhaps the set of playing cards I was dealt were not suited to attracting the women I wanted. Answering these questions I quickly learnt that regardless of the playing cards you’re dealt. I stopped referring niceguygame. the most conventionally goodlooking women could have a personality the complete opposite of what you’re looking for. it is never too late to change your hand. not even he knows! You often see good-looking women with guys you may consider lower value then them.
girls or guys. At the beginning of my niceguygame. yet always got the girls. this was still wrong. I had to open my eyes a little wider. and my inner frame began to grow. kind heart. confidence. HB1.Dharam Nice Guy Game to women as ‘HB9’ or ‘HB10’ and began a new binary scale for women. This increased my social circle and by doing so my social circle developed into one filled with many high value guys and girls and at any point I could easily leave the game. despite the introduction of dating websites and despite the many dating gimmicks such as speed dating. independence. HB0.com PUATRAINING . social circles are still the most common way women meet there other halves. this is a question I asked about one of my friends who was a natural with women and I couldn’t put my finger on it. they would now be either ‘HB0’ or ‘HB1’ and ‘HB1’ meant that I was physically attracted enough to a woman to approach and find out if she had the other 9 to become a ‘HB10’ and these 9 were qualities such as ambition. as now I would approach everyone. as by only approaching women I potentially wanted to game I was viewing the world very narrowly. etc. Realising this was when I developed what many refer to as an ‘abundance mentality’. mean he was short. How does he always get the girls? He does what his been doing his whole life…That’s why he always gets the girls. You see. fat and rude. send a Facebook message out to all my friends and say set me up with someone and they would happily deliver the potential ‘HB10s’ and it is a well known fact that despite game. However.
This is the fundamental difference between me and my natural friend now. any given circumstance.com PUATRAINING . was experience. the better I got at it. he would then finish school and go to the park holding hands with the girls and making out with them. he does what his always done and hopes it hits. The fundamental difference between me and him was that growing up.Dharam Nice Guy Game journey I asked him what it is he does and he turns to me and says ‘Its not hard. niceguygame. it hits’ Now I thought there has to be more then just going for it. I’d like to say. I was the quite little kid in the corner that dreamt of finishing time so I could run home and play Mortal Kombat on the Sega Mega Drive. students would ask me how I do stuff. I had to breakdown every aspect of my game down to be able teach others and be able to write this book. Of course this was the answer at the very beginning. he was the Bart Simpson of the class that caused trouble and was overly confident as a result. where as I’ve broken it down so that I can adapt to. this is something I couldn’t relate to him with until I began teaching others. it hits. You see whilst I was refining my death moves on Mortal Kombat. if it hits. You see one thing that improved my game immensely. you just go for it and if it hits. although looking back I can now completely break down what he was saying and to an extent I have to agree. he was getting experience with women. The more I did stuff. like run and approach and I’d say you just run and do it.
especially pickup… ‘I MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS I DON’T TAKE’ First thing I had to do is start shooting! If I saw a woman I like.Dharam Nice Guy Game What do I have to do to get the women I want? One of my favourite sayings comes from Ice-Hockey player Wayne Gretzky. but I believe this saying can be applied to many aspects of life. I have to go for it!! niceguygame.com PUATRAINING . now I know nothing about IceHockey.
picture her in your head…. The core principal. this being the first introduction of it. What this actually meant took me a while to put down in to some form of teachable layout. the club owner will be niceguygame. If she is at a club. society and people are. the best male dancer will be the one she will choose to spend her evening with. picturing hot women. the more I realised similarities in the way women. which stuck out at me from very early on. Wherever a hot woman goes. she will always be centre of attention. If she is at a salsa class. think about her. although I didn’t want to introduce it until I could teach you to replicate it. guys will want to say hi and she will always have most of the guys chasing her and she will spend her time with the high value guys. is that if you can build a connection with a woman then she will remember you ahead of all the other guys. Now I’m going to ask you to picture a high value woman in your mind. Every other guy would do exactly the same thing.com PUATRAINING . hence the way she looks.Dharam Nice Guy Game Building Connections Once I began approaching and the more I did it. guaranteed the first aspects of her you determine would not be the personal attributes. but her conventional exterior.
Most people believe this moment is reached because you have commonalities with someone e. then the directors. they will immediately feel a stronger connection. more so then if she was talking to an accountant. refer to moments when they meet someone and say ’we just had a really strong connection’ or ’we just hit it off’ and yet fail to fully explain this moment beyond that.Dharam Nice Guy Game the one she will choose to spend her evening with. an accountant or whatever niceguygame.g. However. The answer to that question is ‘Building A Connection’ The reason it is difficult to build a connection and it doesn’t happen every time you meet someone is put into words perfectly in Judith Guest’s 1976 novel Ordinary People. We have all seen those scenes where you have an attractive women surrounded by a parade of guys just talking to her. where she states that ’people are like icebergs. As a result you’ll often hear people. executives. If she is at a business-networking meeting. as a jockey. CEO and partners are the ones she will choose to spend her time with.com PUATRAINING . with only a small percentage of who they really are visible’. and women in particular. trying to be a part of her conversation or just standing within her vicinity hoping that she will come over and talk to him…The question you have to ask is what can make you stand out and make her remember you regardless of whether the next night she spends it at the salsa bar with the best dancers or at a club with the club owner throwing free drinks her way. you can. If a woman use to ride horses as a young girl and she starts speaking to a guy who happens to be a jockey.
and that is what makes ‘The Difference’.Dharam Nice Guy Game else. leaving people with that impression of ’we really connected’ or ‘We just hit it off’ and effectively leading to that unexplainable attraction. create connections with everyone and anyone you meet. niceguygame.com PUATRAINING .
I have broken this down into the Iceberg. as follows: niceguygame.com PUATRAINING .Dharam Nice Guy Game Introduction To The Iceberg THE SURFACE: ‘Small percentage that is visible to everyone’. The way to build connections is to go beyond what everyone else can see.
it is just a lack of intent.com PUATRAINING . let alone both. In order to appear friendly and romantic. and it is once you understand it. and attentive over distracted. you don’t lead yourself to a situation of choice from an abundance of women. The problem is the way nice guys present these positive characteristics. one of the more recent being in 2003 where Dr. these ‘nice guys’ think they have to turn off their sexuality. The problem there is that when the balance is uneven between the two. Women prefer polite over rude. and this has been the conclusion of many studies. It may seem very simple. instead tend to end up in one of two situations: TOO MUCH COMFORT: This situation is often the mistaken case of the ‘nice guy finishing last’ the stereotype not being completely true.Dharam Nice Guy Game The Breakdown Clearly in order to build a connection one has to dig deeper than surface level. although most people struggle to grasp a high level understanding of either one of the two sides.” By discarding one’s intent you end up in the friend’s niceguygame.Robert Glover published his work and stated “It’s not because women like jerks. and there are two things one needs in order to build a connection – Comfort & Intent.
this time in favour of intent. one a complete natural and the other highly proficient at sexual escalation. each showed plenty of intent. but not enough and the intent was still higher. but more so how to get out of there. TOO MUCH INTENT: This is a situation that is not stereotyped like the nice guy. Not stereotyped like the nice guy. The other had a much higher level of comfort. There were two guys in particular I came across on my journey. yet struggled to take them home. got plenty of female attention. nor did he have many female friends. no one that kept him entertained long enough for him to want to take out and no one that he would consider having a relationship with now that he was bored of the one night stands. One went around a club kissing a lot of women. niceguygame. as a result he took plenty of women home.Dharam Nice Guy Game zone.com PUATRAINING . yet arguably still finishing last with both situations leading to not having the dating and relationship life one desires. but none of them were the high quality women he was after. yet both had two very different predicaments. and in all fairness I wasn’t even aware existed until about 6 months ago. both arising from an unbalance between comfort and intent. although in the majority of situations this isn’t the case and guys wonder how they landed there. I wondered meeting these two why they would even think they need help with women. no one he could have a good conversation with in the morning. this isn’t a bad thing if this is genuinely where you want to be.
niceguygame. and in order to gain choice in your life you have to learn the art of adapting and balancing this out.Dharam Nice Guy Game Comfort It is important to understand that all women require different levels of comfort and intent. BASIC COMFORT: This is the comfort that most guys can often offer in some form to some degree. here is where it all begins. But before we get technical. comfort. What does this really mean? How do you get it? Where does it start? Well I have broken it down in to three separate levels of comfort and how to achieve each: ASSUMED OR PERCIEVED COMFORT: This is the comfort prior to approaching that everyone can see.com PUATRAINING . DEEP COMFORT: Connections: This is what will make her remember you ahead of others.
com PUATRAINING .Dharam Nice Guy Game niceguygame.
she would immediately feel more comfort for the police officer. Now you can see that if she knew those two pieces of information without seeing either.Dharam Nice Guy Game Assumed Or Perceived Comfort This is the comfort that you are perceived or assumed to have prior to approaching. Of course this example was just to demonstrate a point that various levels of comfort exist prior to approaching. although playing around with comfort and intent is covered in a later chapter. this can easily be influenced in your niceguygame. it isn’t always there although you can generate this to a high level so that sometimes you can skip the other levels of comfort and go straight for intent. A woman would feel less comfortable if she was walking at night in a dark alleyway and saw a shadowy figure walking in the distance then if she walked into McDonalds and saw a clown holding balloons. for now lets look at how we can play this level of comfort in our favour. little does she know that the shadowy figure could turn out to be a police officer and the clown could be a prisoner on parole. I am going to give you the most extreme example I can in order to demonstrate there are different levels of comfort prior to approaching.com PUATRAINING . for game purposes.
yet his performances at concert hall have lead to him making millions of dollars through ticket sales. where as at his performances he has much higher social proof in the form of his already established fan base who will attend his performances. Go to a bar. one of the more recent studies was in April 2007 when the Washington Post put famous violin virtuoso Joshua Bell on the Washington DC Subway during morning rush hour. café. This is an example of social proof as the commuters were using each other’s responses to determine there own. etc. In one hour no one stopped to listen and he made $32. order a drink or tap water at every bar and start talking to the barmen or barmaids making sure you niceguygame. the world famous concert halls he plays at. The way in which you can transfer the effect of social proof in to generating maximum perceived comfort is to is quite simply lead situations where by you create the effect that you have high value.Dharam Nice Guy Game favour. To demonstrate.5million Stradivarius violin and played. so he took his $3. and not only in club environments but anywhere be it at a bar.com PUATRAINING . coffee shop or even a bus stop! MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE SOCIAL PROOF: 1. concert posters. now I’ll run through some illustrations of exact methods on how to generate this influence in your favour: SOCIAL PROOF: This is quite a familiar concept and there have been many proven studies to back it up.
will naturally regard you in a position of high value. 2. I then asked the same question to her and she was naturally more receptive as id already spoken to the man next to her and he had responded. I naturally transitioned and moved the conversation on. he is clearly high value and anyone who sees that would recognise it. now as opposed to going straight to her. This will be good practice for when you go on a date. prior to attending. which he couldn’t answer.Dharam Nice Guy Game get a name and a handshake. Social proof can be small. if you walk in to a venue where you know everyone. niceguygame. Now as you walk around the staff will know you and even later on they will serve you ahead of other people. of course when she responded. Arrange a lunch or dinner with a friend.com PUATRAINING . I first opened an old man next to her and asked a functional question about bus routes. but achieved in many places so think about the situation and how you can apply it. so she would to. Once I was asked to demo a pick-up on a girl sitting at a bus stop. QUICK TIP: When social proofing you should not be in the mindset that you’re picking up women. and anyone who sees this. A good friend of mine compares this to a scene in The Godfather where Don Vito Corleone walks in to a restaurant where everyone knows him and starts offering him stuff. so approach and talk to everyone not only women. go to the venue personally to book a table and get to know all the staff and even the manager and owner if possible. immediately your value increases.
g. effectively turning her in to a wing-girl. no matter who you are.Dharam Nice Guy Game PRE-SELECTION: Pre-selection in its simplest context for game purposes is that if one woman likes you. 2. When you hang around with women you are more likely to get noticed. ‘Me and my friend Stacey over there were just talking’ or ‘I’m sorry niceguygame. A really good example of this is if you look throughout history at all the big boy bands. even if they have boyfriends and invite them out as friends. other women will naturally follow suite and like you. QUICK TIP: When maximising the power of pre-selection. Discuss the concept of pre-selection with one of your close female friends and see if you can convince her to test this out. Start closing all women. as women will naturally be curious as to why other women like you.com PUATRAINING . MISSONS TO ACHIEVE PRE-SELECTION: 1. as producers know when other women see this they will be more prone to liking them and buying concert tickets to be one of the screaming fans themselves. I often approach women and pre-open by pointing out my female friends e. they often have a video early on where they are singing on stage and women are screaming away. From experience it has lead me to conclude that women either wonder ‘why are all the hot girls hanging around you’ or ‘why is he hanging around with those girls as we’re better’ regardless you get noticed and this builds a large amount of perceived comfort.
Getting out there is really the best way to build-up your social circle and maximise niceguygame. SOCIAL COMMANALITIES: This is effectively assumed comfort and the single biggest reason for you building-up your social circle. they have a level of assumed comfort.g. If you can build your social circle up. and sometimes it can be as simple as being introduced to someone through your social circle. maybe some of those Facebook invites to various events that you’d normally brush off. they have a level of assumed comfort. If two people live in the same apartment block.com PUATRAINING . If two people attend the same arts and crafts class weekly. If two people see each other every day in the staff cafeteria. When a friend introduces a friend you naturally have an inherent level of comfort as she knows who you are and it makes for the ideal pickup situation. it can also be through you having something elementary in common to make her feel secure and drawn towards you e. MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE SOCIAL COMMANALITIES: 1. Start saying ‘Yes’ to attending functions you may not normally attend. The assumed comfort derived from social commonalities is not always as a result of having a neutral friend.Dharam Nice Guy Game I only have a minute as I have to get back to my friend’ (as I point to my female friends). they have a level of assumed comfort. then you will find yourself in the ideal situation more often then not (building a healthy social circle is looked at in the intent section).
thus potentially leading to more situations where you have assumed comfort with women. etc. Join a class or activity that interests you. niceguygame.salsa. no big deal just aim to achieve perceived comfort as opposed to assumed. what ever it may be . martial arts. This will immediately open a whole new avenue through which you can meet new people and put yourself in the ideal situation of having that level of assumed comfort in place. if they are there then use them to your advantage. QUICK TIP: Don’t try and force social commonalities. if they are not.Dharam Nice Guy Game the amount of new people you meet. which has the same effect. street dance.com PUATRAINING . 2.
done effectively it will ensure the interaction moves on swiftly in the direction of your intent. for example if two women are having a deep conversation. and it is not necessary to use them all. It can begin from being very basic. It is something that is best developed with experience.com PUATRAINING . SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE: As the name suggests this is in its most basic form you applying your own intelligence in social situations. now obviously a lot of men would disagree with this and it is not a case of one being right and one being wrong. it is simply that the majority of guys tend to lack the ability to generate and convey across Basic Comfort. as you move on to deep comfort. and as my game progressed I realised I was no longer applying social intelligence. it was a part of who I am and the way I carry myself. There are many different ways of portraying this. This should take place whilst opening and then throughout.Dharam Nice Guy Game Basic Comfort The biggest criticism women have of men is that they don’t listen. usually a combination of two or three tends to be enough. The aim of basic comfort is to really to build a good base upon which you can later relay your intent off the back of it. then maybe niceguygame. although which two or three they are requires calibration in accordance to the target and situation.
although when I pulled out my phone she said ‘no wait’ and went to the backroom. queues. but keep doing it and over time you will naturally learn the best ways to act in these situations. café. This will push you outside your comfort zone and put you in situations where you have to think on your feet. as she said she would have got in niceguygame. wrote her number down on a piece of paper and brought it out to me. Sometimes it will be a complete blowout as you are not use to it. shops. and 3. MISSION TO ACHIEVE SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE: 1. 2. Approach and open women going direct in situations you are not comfortable with e. it was one of the first closes I got. etc. mixed-sets.g. These three are the foundation of social intelligence and if you can master these then it can truly take your game to another level.com PUATRAINING . When I first started. I approached a woman working in a large department store on Oxford Street. Being aware of what is going on with your target during the interaction or as you are about to open. although what it comes down to is simply three things: 1. Being able to deal with new situations that unfold during your interactions. Being aware of what is going on in your surrounding situation.Dharam Nice Guy Game it would be more socially intelligent to open softly with ‘I’m sorry to disturb you but…’ as opposed to high energy with ‘Hey guys!!’ There are countless examples of social intelligence being used.
a close. This means that niceguygame. be it with women. Under this heading of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ I will only deal with managing your own emotions. firstly you have to be able to understand your emotions. The best way to do this is to always be endresult focus. would it be okay or would it be easier for you to give me your number on a piece of paper?’ This shows more social intelligence. yet I am still leading the interaction in to my desired outcome.com PUATRAINING . but also get you use to thinking on your feet and being more socially intelligent in all interactions in life. but to actually say ‘I was just about to pull out my phone and take your number. From it I learned that in future when getting contact details off women that are working it may be better not to pull out your phone. QUICK TIP: Even if you get your desired outcome from an interaction. always analyse interactions to work out what you could have done. at work or otherwise. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: This ability comes in two parts: The ability to manage your own emotions and the ability to manage others’ emotions. as managing others’ emotion is covered later on under ‘Empathy’ In order to manage your emotions. This will not only help you in future interactions in similar situations. if anything. in a more socially intelligent way to make the interaction smoother. but I would hate to get you in to trouble.Dharam Nice Guy Game to trouble had someone saw her giving out her number.
By doing so I would sometimes put the woman off even when she had every intention to respond to me on ‘Facebook’. the reason I was not fully in control was because my focus went off my end-result and moved on to getting a contact number. MISSION TO ACHIEVE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: 1. A great example I can give you of this is that up till six months ago I wasn’t an active user of social networking sites.Dharam Nice Guy Game if you go up to a woman. niceguygame. Getting a contact number was never my end-result.com PUATRAINING . if you complete the mission for social intelligence. Now by doing this I was not fully in control of my emotions and this could sometimes lead to the close flaking. then it will help you in achieving emotional intelligence naturally. you can understand your emotions. this is something that requires practice and experience. as you will be more comfortable with who you are and have a stronger frame to deal with any situation you are put in. Always stay focused on what your desired end-result is and what the process is in order for you to achieve it. it was a part of the process in getting to my end-result. Similar to social intelligence. why do you do it? What is your end-result? Once you understand your end-result. thus being able to control them. notably the most popular ‘Facebook’ and as a result when women would give me there ‘Facebook’ details as opposed to there contact number I would react by pushing for the number. which was in fact simply having a means of communicating with her in order to arrange a meet-up.
although don’t dwell.com PUATRAINING . sitting at a table talking and I decided to verbalise that I liked her. quite simply put. Sometimes it is important to realise your end-result may not be achieved immediately and you may experience some knocks along the way. one night we were at a nightclub. making you very rare. To my surprise she didn’t like me back. a man in check of his emotions who persistently keeps going becomes very attractive. thus very attractive. smiled and said ‘okay kool’ and continued having a fun night with her. it felt right to me at the time. The way in which you can do this best is to break through the ultimate criticism women have of men: ‘Men just don’t listen. EMPATHY: This.Dharam Nice Guy Game QUICK TIP: A little while ago I began to like one of my female friends. but also that you understand. although I was very much in check with my emotional intelligence and as opposed to continuing this line of conversation and asking why? I realised my end result of wanting to be with her would not be achieved that night nor through a logical argument so I accepted it for the time.’ By breaking through this you demonstrate not only that you listen. I will run through what I have found to be the two most effective: niceguygame. However. the other friends we were with and meeting loads of fun new people in the club. what makes the difference when winning women over is the ability to express the fact that you understand. is the art of understanding the emotions that someone else is feeling. There are many methods by which to demonstrate empathy.
MISSIONS EMPATHY: TO ACHIEVE 1. although people are often unaware how much they break eye contact as they are too in there head wondering what routine to say next or what observational based comment to make. QUICK TIP: When struggling to provide the appropriate facial expressions. As a result a woman feels you’re not listening and it is confirmed when the next comment made is only loosely connected at best to the last statement she made. even if along the lines of ‘tell me more’ you are still leading her to pause from talking. you understand and she can talk to you. look at the facial expressions of the niceguygame. If instead she is talking and you respond with facial expressions accordingly. instead take in what she has said and respond via your… FACIAL EXPRESSIONS: If you listen to what a woman is saying. if she is sad because her dog died. although it is better to respond with facial expressions. The reason is that if a woman is talking and you respond with words. if she says she is excited about a music concert. it is good to respond with words. STOP SMILING AND LOOK SAD. Aim to go out and have interactions with women. she won’t have to stop her train of thought and feel more strongly that you are a good listener. SMILE.Dharam Nice Guy Game EYE CONTACT: This may seem obvious. forget the next comment to be made.com PUATRAINING . where by you focus primarily on having conversations holding eye contact and responding with facial expressions e. It is much better to just stop and listen.g.
ADD VALUE: When talking to people it is possible for them to warm to you much quicker if you can add value in some way. so see if you can come up with other forms of adding value. The above is not a definitive list. There are however many realistic methods of adding value: * Empathy * Compliments * Humour * Networking (merging different groups of people and offering network opportunities) * Providing validation MISSIONS TO ADDING VALUE: ACHIEVE 1. niceguygame. QUICK TIP: If you add value to many different women. thus making you more attractive. invite them all out together. Go out and try each of the above forms of adding value. naturally you’d want to speak to them further. nor would you want a woman who required money to talk to you. you will naturally be unable to give any one person the same value as one on one time. pulling out a big note and giving it to you. just a list of my favourite five. 2. but begin to see which ones you feel comfortable with. Now this isn’t a realistic method of adding value when approaching and interacting with women.Dharam Nice Guy Game person you are speaking to and mirror it. as not many people have notes to throw away. If someone opened an interaction by going down their wallet. Note that it is not important to be an expert at all of them.com PUATRAINING . so naturally they will start to compete for you.
you now have license to go ahead and aim to reach the final stage of comfort at which point you are looking to stand up and be counted so that it is you that she remembers ahead of all the other people she may come across. The best way to explain this is to show you via two conversations midway through.com PUATRAINING . It is not as difficult as it may initially sound. one without deep comfort and one with. niceguygame.Dharam Nice Guy Game Deep Comfort Having achieved the first two stages of comfort. in fact it is just applying yourself fully to a conversation to demonstrate you are a high value guy that genuinely wants to get to know people. In fact this is the exact conversation when I first noticed what I was doing.
what did you do whilst you were there? WOMAN: I worked as a chef. I loved moussaka. MAN: Excellent. what were you doing before that? WOMAN: I was in Romania.com PUATRAINING . I’d make it all the time. as really enjoy cooking. MAN: I like your spontaneity. do you come here often? Conversation 2: MAN: So what is it you do? WOMAN: I’m a lawyer MAN: Wow how long have you been doing that? WOMAN: 3 years MAN: Cool. MAN: Romania?? WOMAN: I was traveling and really liked it so I decided to stay there for 6 more months. niceguygame. WOMAN: Yeah its ok MAN: So. what’s your favourite dish? WOMAN: Well in Romania.Dharam Nice Guy Game Conversation 1: MAN: So what is it you do? WOMAN: I’m a lawyer MAN: Wow how long have you been doing that? WOMAN: 3 years MAN: Wow you must really enjoy it.
This will lead her to remember me and when other guys speak to her starting off with the same topic thread of what she does for work. effectively leading to qualification as a by-product of deep comfort (Qualification is the process by which you determine if a woman meets the standards which you set out to see if she is right for you and what you are looking for. as there is one other thing you need to add – INTENT. starting by listening to what someone is saying. niceguygame. let alone her favourite dish. I am more than likely the only guy that she would have told she lived in Romania for 6 months and worked as a chef. I’ll set-up a date using the fact she can cook or she enjoys moussaka. Deep comfort cannot be achieved with any one or two particular missions. keeping the conversation personal to them and then digging deeper to find out more about who they are. when I speak to her next. Also. as a result she will remember me and they will effectively blow themselves out. but when I had that conversation with her.Dharam Nice Guy Game Now you see this is a very small exampleofbuildingaconnection in deep comfort. which will further solidify our connection. they will be unable to recreate the same connection I did. it is something that takes time and practice. Start by aiming to achieve the first two stages of comfort and there after you can build on this. Of course this does not necessarily mean you get the girl.com PUATRAINING . by going in to deep comfort this is achieved naturally as a by-product as you continue to learn more about someone). Building a connection can be used with all people guys and girls and it leads to people enjoying talking to you. as they feel like they can share and you start to become that guy that everyone likes and wants to be around.
So two points. IT DOES NOT COUNT. you may be thinking this is a book about attracting women so its easy to figure out what you want. niceguygame. How many actually count though? If there IS NOT a girl in the set that you would date or want to have sex with. If the set you are talking to has no one of sexual interest in it AND you are not using the set to get the attention of someone else in the room. it is important to build a healthy social circle and lead a life filled with high value people around you. the first knowing what you want. without it.” My response: This is interesting although I do not 100% agree with it. In fact. recently I read a post on a ‘pick-up’ forum that perfectly demonstrates exactly why you should focus on building a healthy lifestyle. You have to know what you won’t and then show it by going for it. no matter how much comfort you provide you won’t be able to get your desired outcome. Some talk about aiming to do a set every 20minutes.. The post was on the Central England League Forum by Insanity. However.com PUATRAINING ..Dharam Nice Guy Game Intent Showing intent is the key that unlocks the door. this is an extract: “People talk about how many sets they do in a night. IT DOES NOT COUNT! You might as well be talking to guys..
When you only talk to people for the sole aim of sleeping with women I believe you are viewing the world very narrowly. When you only focus on talking to women you want to sleep with or if the women you want to sleep with will notice you (social proof/preselection) you are verging on becoming a game ‘robot’. and for me it was about improving in all aspects of life from women to work to any social interaction I have. they ended-up being very high niceguygame. for some it is about becoming more confident as a person. I would still be able to get more high quality women then most practicing PUAs.Dharam Nice Guy Game I think you have to look at what game is for different people. for some yes it is only about getting women they have a sexual intent with. as all I’d have to do is send out a Facebook message to my social circle and say ‘I want to be set-up’ and I know that not one of the guys or girls would think twice before setting me up. I started talking to a couple of random guys at the bar and made that comment. for others it is about meeting new people and building there social circle.com PUATRAINING . to the point where if I chose to give up game this very minute. I have built my social circle very big with many high value girls and GUYS. I think you have to open your eyes and realise that talking to everyone for the sake of enjoying interactions and not wanting anything in return will lead you to be a much happier more free person and a far more powerful PUA. A prime example of this was once I was at a bar and there weren’t many hot women there.
no hot chicks I wanna sleep with here.com PUATRAINING . Physically obviously refers to being seductive and sexually escalating. There are two ways of showing your intent. and the other time I hadn’t planned it. the ability to show your intent as more then friends. Both times I noticed that niceguygame. by simply talking to everyone and not wanting anything. either physically or verbally. lets go to another bar’ I think the above forum thread perfectly puts my point forward and what Insanity wrote is not uncommon in pickup. and as you can see I completely disagree with it. I spoke about one time earlier under basic comfort when talking through Emotional Intelligence. sometimes you see a woman and your intent may be more then just a passing interaction or being friends. and verbal is putting it out there with words. I am going to start by saying I personally believe that verbalising that you like someone from personal experience has not lead to the best results. scouted the place. there is one thing you have to have. However. and then just turned to my wing and said ‘Hey dude. although having said that I have only ever twice verbalised to someone that ‘I like them’.Dharam Nice Guy Game value and were only having a pre-drink before going to a fashion launch party later that night. If so. I ended up in a situation where they offered to take me and my wing to this fashion party. so it ended up being a great night where I met more hot chicks then I would’ve met if I had just walked in to that bar. although the situation came up due to a misunderstanding.
it is kind of like going for a kiss too quickly. However.Dharam Nice Guy Game this almost threw the good reaction I was expecting off course. in fact one of my best friends niceguygame.com PUATRAINING . that I was waiting for the green light before I went in to escalate further and kiss her. That is not to say all guys lack experience. even if the girl wanted to kiss you back. it is your judgement call as to decide whether it would be the right thing to do or would it be better to show your intention through being seductive and escalating sexually. and even if someone likes you there knee-jerk reaction to such responsibility is to take a step back. PHYSCIAL ESCALATION: This is now my favourite part of game and I look forward to pushing the boundaries of how quickly and how smoothly I can do this every time. and as I began looking more deeply in to social psychology and game. that I may not be confident enough to lead and show someone I like them and we all know actions speak louder then words and two. effectively placing a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of the girl. this was something that I found to be particularly difficult when starting out. And having thought about it I realised that by verbalising I was conveying two things in particular and that was one. this is not to say that in all cases it would be bad to verbalise your intention. I quickly realised it is because it is the one area where the majority of guys have a lack of experience. However. if you lunge in too quick then the body’s natural reflex is that you could be headbutting them and the head goes back as a defence.
only then will you be able to gain experience and learn what to do…You will have to get it wrong loads of times before you get it right. I was talking to my friend and he asked me what I thought went wrong. I remember I got home from one date in particular. although my ratio of converting those women from just women I was seeing and dating to actually being women I was involved with sexually increased significantly when I made the decision that I would just start going for it and pulling the trigger every time. and the fact is next time your positive a woman likes you.com PUATRAINING . I went through a stage when people thought I was better then I was. but I still didn’t even go for a kiss. you didn’t even go for it. I said I am not sure. You haven’t got enough experience in this area of your game yet. I was running home to play Mortal Kombat on the Sega Mega Drive. but you have to do it! Pull the niceguygame. whilst he was holding hands and making out with the girls in the park so effectively he has been practicing since he was 12. and then he said “Well the truth is Dharam. you will again be in the same situation where you will be wondering why it didn’t happen for you.Dharam Nice Guy Game who I mentioned earlier is a natural and is amazing at escalation. I spoke earlier of how when we were in high school. have a lot of dates and see a lot of women. as he has been doing it since an early age. as I could get most women’s numbers. My honest advice to you is aim to fuck up…Aim to pull the trigger and escalate every time. where I was positive the woman liked me.
then that will give me license to go on to the third thing I do: 3. tilt my head and look in to her eyes imagining kissing her. I might say ‘I like that about you’ and pause.com PUATRAINING . SMILE AND LOOK IN TO HER EYES. IN A MINUTE!! From taking women home from dates to taking women home from street approaches!! I would like to write here about some kind of formula to summarise exactly how I do it. if the reaction is positive.I know through doing this enough. as I believe in being natural. BUILD-UP OF ESCALATION: When the reaction is positive. I am not going to write a number of steps to become proficient in physically escalating. I will instead build up kino in small steps. I simply take it back a step. When talking to a woman. and through the second thing I have… 2. lines or canned material and no book will put you in the situation of the act of escalation. therefore I only niceguygame. PAUSE. with each touch being more intimate.. I will not then just lunge in. build it up and try again. If at any stage I experience resistance.Dharam Nice Guy Game Trigger! Crash the car! Aim to Fuck Up!!” At this point I made the decision to just start going for it and I found my results rocketed. from making out with women in clubs. and then I’ll wait to see how she responds. maybe in deep comfort. smile. that there are only so many ways a woman can react. there are no routines. although the truth is there are only three things I do to achieve these results: 1. to making out with women on trains. EXPERIENCE: .
and apologised. although a year and a half on. which I mentioned earlier as being a very attractive quality. although she turned her head. niceguygame. When going in to kiss this girl.com PUATRAINING . I was so far in the friends zone I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I didn’t and trying for it again showed persistence. Normally at this point. I was positive she wanted to kiss me back. However.Dharam Nice Guy Game have one step to successful physical escalation: 1. I pulled my head back slightly. One of the best kisses of my life was with a girl I fancied since college. paused for a few seconds. smiled. a year and a half on I have learnt a lot and this story is the most valuable piece of advice I could give you. tilted my head and then went back in for the kiss and it happened. AIM TO FUCK UP!!! QUICK TIP: Never apologise for showing your intent physically. I am 100% confident that the old me would’ve given up after she turned her head the first time.
and enjoy every second of it. Every woman is different. For now just shut this book. niceguygame. in fact there are a lot of women out there.Dharam Nice Guy Game Game I have ran through the two elements I believe are needed: Comfort and Intent.com PUATRAINING . You see it is not necessary to achieve all three levels of comfort prior to showing intent. perhaps they are only looking for perceived or basic comfort and a strong show of intent. with which if you attempted to generate deep comfort. all will be looking for different things at different points in there lives. live your own journey. go out. However true game has a third element: Calibration. and it is up to you to find the ones that are right for you. they would be put off as they are not looking for that in the particular circumstances you have met them under.
I had a lot of growing to do. niceguygame. I will always be here for you if you ever need anything. You really looked after me at times when it must have felt like banging your head against a brick wall. Tom you were the one that smashed my limiting beliefs to show that I can achieve beyond my wildest dreams when I put my mind to it. no amount of thanks can be considered enough. always knowing what to say. Vito you looked out for me and spent hours listening to my different game dilemmas. I didn’t quite understand it at the time.. I would not be where I am today. Well I did…But it is about the journey thus far and it would not have been possible were it not for some special people in my life. Thank you.. Snehal. Richard you opened so many doors for me and if you didn’t take chances on me. you taught me to be happy and free. Thank you. I owe you so much bro. but you should know I appreciate it so much. but you were right. you took my raw game and set it off on the right path.Dharam Nice Guy Game Who Really Wrote This. Adam. thank you for letting me go. thank you for taking those chances.com PUATRAINING .
as I’d wakeup wondering about stuff and really needing a friend. At times it has been so hard and I feel like I want to quit.Dharam Nice Guy Game Thank you to all my wings who have always helped me and pushed me. Kay. Johnny. thanks best mate. but I hear you playing Mozart and it reminds me of how far I have come. The Awesome Foursome. you’ll never know how much that opinion meant to me. you spent loads of your lunch breaks at work talking to me on Facebook. we met on the national rail that late night last train ride home a few months ago. how special I felt right there next to you as you played. Thank you Angelee. the one person that knows the truth of where I started niceguygame. I was the guy that traded the McDonalds for a female opinion. you’d remind me of who I am. you’d be there. Ashley who always put things in perspective and Darren for always being in my corner.com PUATRAINING . I wish you had some interest in game and then I’d teach you the point of being sh*t hot! Luv you bro. Thanks Mc-Looser :-P Bro you supported me throughout my entire journey. thank you. and it pushes me to want to achieve more. You really inspire me to keep going through the dark times. you give me hope there are ‘Tens’ out there. To Javine. you supported me through all the hard times. Sometimes life makes you take decisions others will never understand. especially The Bootcamp Boys.
The Journey of… …Who Am I? Surely By Now You Know Who I Am. Anytime I feel nervous now I picture you smiling back at me and it Supermans me up..Dharam Nice Guy Game and what I went through to get where I am. Thank you for reading. I truly wish you were there by my side always…Thank you Muffet..-) niceguygame. …My Journey Continues …Your Friendly. smiling back at me every time I turn around and look at you nervously. You have always been there listening to my constant game theories and you were there at the first event I ever ran. Neighbourhood PUA Dharam . thanks Raj.com PUATRAINING .
youtube.-) : http://www.youtube.com PUATRAINING . questions or feedback e-mail: Dharam@puatraining.youtube. com/trainers/view/8 To contact him for comments. in particular A challenge for any opener Dharam will try: http://www.puatraining.com/ watch?v=Z9hpTy2na5s Dharam gets caught filming live pick-up videos by the Girl: http://www.com/ watch?v=EeNnkhC8me0 Dharam using a Devil Teddy Bear as a Wingman .com To see Dharam pick-up live. search ‘PUADharam’ on Youtube.Dharam Nice Guy Game To find out more about Dharam visit his trainers page on the PUA Training Website: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=aiKYylGWkCw A 1Minute K-Close: http://www.com/ watch?v=MIEN2HCdZQ8 niceguygame.