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Anger Management

Anger Management

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Published by: ashprabha on May 25, 2012
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Anger Management

Introduction The destructive emotions of the human mind are many, and the person who understands how to control them is one step ahead of everyone in the game. Anger is a normal part of our emotions. The problems arise when we allow anger to control us rather than us controlling our anger. The uncontrolled expression of anger can cause problems in our everyday life may it be at work, in personal relationships and can affect overall quality of our life.If it really controls us it can make us feel that we are at mercy of and unpredictable and powerful emotion. We all know what anger is, and we've all experienced it: be it a mild irritation or a furious rage. But let us understand what anger is all about from Psychological point of view. Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,"

is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by losing self-control”. Basically anger is a signal of our state. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; our glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. Especially our heart rate and blood pressure go up due to higher levels of energy hormones, adrenaline, Cortisol and noradrenalin produced by the glands. Causes of Anger Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. We could be angry at a specific person could be colleagues, a junior employee or even our bosses or an event like a traffic jam, a cancelled flight, someone not behaving according to instructions or our anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. Expressing Anger 1. Straight and immediately: The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively in response to the trigger that caused anger. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviours, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we feel we are attacked. It can be safely said that a certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. But laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

one needs to practice daily and master them. slow yoga-like exercises can relax muscles and make one feel much calmer. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax. and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping us over the edge. criticizing everything. The first thing to do when we are angry is to slow down and think about possible responses and not to express the first thing that comes to our mind. People who are constantly putting others down. Following are a few traditional anger management techniques. Some simple steps that can be tried: 1. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. Better Communication Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and act upon it. rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile." 2. Picture as if the breath coming up from the"gut. such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly. such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery." Repeat it to while breathing deeply. without telling them why. Non-strenuous. 4. can help calm down angry feelings. and let the feelings subside.2." "take it easy. Boss fires the subordinate where in the subordinate does not express his anger and suppresses it and at the end of the work day comes back home and starts lashing out at parents’ kids or the spouse. There is a cultural belief that every problem has a solution. 5. from either memory or imagination. calm down. since breathing from chest won't relax. visualize a relaxing experience. but also controlling our internal responses to the cause. Say one is involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered. taking steps to lower heart rate. For these techniques to work. To express anger in an indirect way: We do not react to the source of anger but pent up the feelings and lash out at our near and dear ones when we get the opportunity and end up hurting them for no fault of theirs. and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. At the same time. 3. listening carefully to what the other person is saying and taking time before answering helps. This especially happens in unequal power situations in organisational hierarchy. it might be a good idea for both the partners to learn these techniques for relationship to be long lasting and successful. The best attitude is to focus on how to handle and face the problem. Different approach to Anger Management It's best to find out what it is that triggers anger. from diaphragm. Problem Solving Sometimes. Breathe deeply. . and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. Use imagery. 3. and not all those conclusions can be very accurate. Relaxation Simple relaxation tools. Calm down inside: This means not just controlling our outward behaviour. our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives.

appreciation. it's terrible. and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them. When angry if we can remind ourselves that the world is "not out to get you. First. So the key to anger prevention is to identify the false beliefs at the root of our emotional reactions. it's awful. this means changing the way one thinks. The traditional anger management techniques are like trying to extinguish fire after something has caught fire and by the time you manage to extinguish the fire no matter what size the fire is. False beliefs. But there are two cautions in using humour. Angry people tend to curse.Using Humour "Silly humour" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. it can do unwanted damage. we no longer have to manage our anger. swear." Logic defeats anger. or speak in highly colourful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. "oh. so we need to use cold hard logic on ourselves. We don’t have to manage or avoid it because it is no longer there. Anger can be managed in two ways. knowing that laughing off problems won’t solve them but rather. specifically false beliefs. coupled with other factors like. point of view. When one is angry. everything's ruined. but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow. the best kind of anger management is Anger Prevention. we can then apply some practical exercises that will enable them to dissolve. . willingness to do things their way. combine to create destructive emotional reaction of anger. Not only we have to learn these triggers but ways to dissolve them and eliminate the patterns in the mind driving those triggers." it’s helpful to tell "it's frustrating. As part of their cognitive restructuring. but angry people demand them. Hence the best way of managing fire is fire prevention. Anger Prevention In anger prevention we have to go after root causes or the triggers that cause anger. For instance. One should try to replace these dramatic thoughts with more rational ones. When we change those false beliefs. and it's understandable that I'm upset about it. Once we become aware of these false beliefs. their disappointment becomes anger." you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life” it'll help to get a more balanced perspective. Everyone wants these things. his thinking can get exaggerated and overly dramatic. not giving in to harsh humour. Beliefs are the elemental structure in the mind that causes us to generate certain thoughts and interpretations about things. By the same reasoning. Cognitive Restructuring Simply put. and when their demands are not met. Second. agreement. The forces that drive patterns of anger are beliefs. instead of telling ourselves. using humour will help us to face the problem more constructively. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness. Anger can be simply managed using above mentioned traditional methods or eliminating root cause of anger altogether so that there is no longer and emotional reaction that one has to control.

Life will be filled with frustration. In spite of all our efforts. we cannot eliminate anger and even if we could it wouldn't be a good idea to do so. but we can change the way we let such events affect us and our relationship. and the unpredictable actions of others. That is easy. to the right degree. Controlling angry responses can keep them from making us unhappy in the long run. at the right time. We cannot change that." . for the right purpose and in the right way. loss. things will happen that will cause frustration which will lead to anger. and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. is not easy. To conclude we can say that "Anyone can get angry. But to be angry with the right person. pain.The best way of Anger Management is to remind ourselves that.

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