G

e
n
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a
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d

f
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m
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m
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a
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t
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d
u

(
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t
m
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C
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#
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e
D NC O NON N
G
e
n
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a
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f
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@
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a
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C
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o
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#
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e
oaooaoaaaoaooaooaoonaooao aooa
D NC
O NON N
ND OT R Y
G . K. C T RTON
N YORK
DODD, M D & COMP Y
1911
1
ooooaaoaaooaooaooaaoooaooooacoaoaa
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#
p
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o
o
g

e
498-710
Copyrght, 1909, 1911, by
DODD, M D ND COMP NY
Pubshed October, 1911

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#
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e
fto
CONT NT
D NC O NON N . . I
D N O U U IN ORM TION 12
D NC O R ows . . 25
D NC O RC . , -37
D NC O Y- OR IP . 47
D NC O NG . . 5
D NC O UMI ITY . . 64
D NC O P NNY DR D U . 75
M T R INCK 88
ON YING IN D .... 95
T ITT IRD O ON T ING 103
TR G DY O T OP NC . .112
v
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#
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e
PU I R NOT
T I tte voume, ssued as a gft book
for overs of Mr. Chesterton s wrtngs, s
made up from essays to be found n The
Defendant; ared Types, and Tre-
mendous Trfes.
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D NC O NON N
are two equa and eterna ways
of ookng at ths twght word of
ours : we may see t as the twght of even-
ng or the twght of mornng ; we may
thnk of anythng, down to a faen acorn,
as a descendant or as an ancestor. There
are tmes when we are amost crushed, not
so much wth the oad of the ev as wth
the oad of the goodness of humanty, when
we fee that we are nothng but the nher-
tors of a humatng spendour. ut there
are other tmes when everythng seems
prmtve, when the ancent stars are ony
sparks bown from a boy s bonfre, when
the whoe earth seems so young and e -
permenta that even the whte har of the
aged, n the fne bbca phrase, s ke
amond-trees that bossom, ke the whte
hawthorn grown n May. That t s good
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e
D NC O NON N
for a man to reaze that he s the her of
a the ages s pretty commony admtted ;
t s a ess popuar but equay mportant
pont that t s good for hm sometmes to
reaze that he s not ony an ancestor, but
an ancestor of prma antquty; t s good
for hm to wonder whether he s not a hero,
and to e perence ennobng doubts as to
whether he s not a soar myth.
The matters whch most thoroughy evoke
ths sense of the abdng chdhood of the
word are those whch are reay fresh, ab-
rupt and nventve n any age ; and f we
were asked what was the best proof of ths
adventurous youth n the nneteenth century
we shoud say, wth a respect to ts por-
tentous scences and phosophes, that t
was to be found n the rhymes of Mr.
dward ear and n the terature of non-
sense. The Dong wth the umnous
Nose, at east, s orgna, as the frst shp
and the frst pough were orgna.
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e
D NC O NON N
It s true n a certan sense that some of
the greatest wrters the word has seen
rstophanes, Rabeas and terne have
wrtten nonsense; but uness we are ms-
taken, t s n a wdey dfferent sense.
The nonsense of these men was satrc
that s to say, symboc; t was a knd of
e uberant caperng round a dscovered
truth. There s a the dfference n the
word between the nstnct of satre, whch,
seeng n the Kaser s moustaches some-
thng typca of hm, draws them contnu-
ay arger and arger; and the nstnct of
nonsense whch, for no reason whatever,
magnes what those moustaches woud
ook ke on the present rchbshop of
Canterbury f he grew them n a ft of ab-
sence of mnd. e ncne to thnk that
no age e cept our own coud have under-
stood that the uange- ange meant ab-
soutey nothng, and the ands of the um-
bes were absoutey nowhere. e fancy
3
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e
D NC O NON N
that f the account of the knave s tra n
ce n onderand had been pubshed
n the seventeenth century t woud have
been bracketed wth unyan s Tra of
athfu as a parody on the tate prose-
cutons of the tme. e fancy that f
The Dong wth the umnous Nose
had appeared n the same perod every one
woud have caed t a du satre on Over
Cromwe.
It s atogether advsedy that we
quote chefy from Mr. ear s Non-
sense Rhymes. To our mnd he s both
chronoogcay and essentay the father
of nonsense; we thnk hm superor to
ews Carro. In one sense, ndeed,
ews Carro has a great advantage. e
know what ews Carro was n day fe:
he was a snguary serous and conventona
don, unversay respected, but very much
of a pedant and somethng of a Phstne.
Thus hs strange doube fe n earth and n
4
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e
D NC O NON N
dreamand emphaszes the dea that es at
the back of nonsense the dea of escape,
of escape nto a word where thngs are not
f ed horrby n an eterna approprate- ,
ness, where appes grow on pear-trees, and
any odd man you meet may have three egs.
ews Carro, vng one fe n whch he
woud have thundered moray aganst any
one who waked on the wrong pot of grass,
and another fe n whch he woud cheer-
fuy ca the sun green and the moon bue,
was, by hs very dvded nature, hs one
foot on both words, a perfect type of the
poston of modern nonsense. s on-
derand s a country popuated by nsane
mathematcans. e fee the whoe s an
escape nto a word of masquerade; we fee
that f we coud perce ther dsguses, we
mght dscover that umpty Dumpty and
the March are were Professors and
Doctors of Dvnty en|oyng a menta
hoday. Ths sense of escape s certany
5
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h
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u

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h

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)

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#
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e
D NC o r NON N
ess emphatc n dward ear, because of
the competeness of hs ctzenshp n the
word of unreason. e do not know hs
prosac bography as we know ews
Carro s. e accept hm as a purey
fabuous fgure, on hs own descrpton of
hmsef:
s body s perfecty spherca,
e weareth a runcbe hat.
he ews Carro s onderand s
purey nteectua, ear ntroduces qute
another eement the eement of the po-
etca and even emotona. Carro works
by the pure reason, but ths s not so strong
a contrast; for, after a, manknd n the
man has aways regarded reason as a bt
of a |oke. ear ntroduces hs unmeanng
words and hs amorphous creatures not
wth the pomp of reason, but wth the ro-
mantc preude of rch hues and hauntng
rhythms.
6
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6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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t
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o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NON N
ar and few, far and few,
re the ands where the umbes ve,
s an entrey dfferent type of poetry to
that e hbted n abberwocky. Car-
ro, wth a sense of mathematca neatness,
makes hs whoe poem a mosac of new and
mysterous words. ut dward ear, wth
more subte and pacd effrontery, s aways
ntroducng scraps of hs own evsh daect
nto the mdde of smpe and ratona state-
ments, unt we are amost stunned nto
admttng that we know what they mean.
There s a gena rng of common sense
about such nes as,
or hs aunt obska sad very one knows
That a Pobbe s better wthout hs toes,
whch s beyond the reach of Carro. The
poet seems so easy on the matter that we
are amost drven to pretend that we see hs
meanng, that we know the pecuar dff-
cutes of a Pobbe, that we areas od trave-
ers n the Grombooan Pan as he s.
7
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e
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f
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t
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.
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d
u

(
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a
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t
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h

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o

e
g
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)

o
n

2
0
1
2
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6
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1
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o
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o
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h
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s
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e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NON N
Our cam that nonsense s a new tera-
ture (we mght amost say a new sense)
woud be qute ndefensbe f nonsense
were nothng more than a mere aesthetc
fancy. Nothng submey artstc has ever
arsen out of mere art, any more than
anythng essentay reasonabe has ever
arsen out of the pure reason. There must
aways be a rch mora so for any great
aesthetc growth. The prncpe of art for
art s sake s a very good prncpe f t
means that there s a vta dstncton be-
tween the earth and the tree that has ts
roots n the earth; but t s a very bad
prncpe f t means that the tree coud
grow |ust as we wth ts roots n the ar.
very great terature has aways been ae-
gorca aegorca of some vew of the
whoe unverse. The Iad s ony great
because a fe s a batte, the Odyssey
because a fe s a |ourney, the ook of
ob because a fe s a rdde. There s
8
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a
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f
o
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m
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m
b
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@
d
a
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t
m
o
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

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g
e
)

o
n

2
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1
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6
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1
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o
m
a

n
,

G
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.
h
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NON N
one atttude n whch we thnk that a
e stence s summed up n the word
ghosts ; another, and somewhat better
one, n whch we thnk t s summed up
n the words Mdsummer Nght s
Dream. ven the vugarest meodrama
or detectve story can be good f t e -
presses somethng of the deght n snster
possbtes the heathy ust for darkness
and terror whch may come on us any nght
n wakng down a dark ane. If, therefore,
nonsense s reay to be the terature of the
future, t must have ts own verson of the
Cosmos to offer; the word must not ony
be the tragc, romantc, and regous, t
must be nonsensca aso. nd here we
fancy that nonsense w, n a very une -
pected way, come to the ad of the sprtua
vew of thngs. Regon has for centures
been tryng to make men e ut n the
wonders of creaton, but t has for-
gotten that a thng cannot be competey
9
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f
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m
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a
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.
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d
u

(
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t
h

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)

o
n

2
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o
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,

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o
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#
p
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e
D NC O NON N
wonderfu so ong as t remans sensbe.
o ong as we regard a tree as an obvous
thng, naturay and reasonaby created for a
graffe to eat, we cannot propery wonder at
t. It s when we consder t as a prodg-
ous wave of the vng so sprawng up to
the skes for no reason n partcuar that we
take off our hats, to the astonshment of the
park-keeper. verythng has n fact another
sde to t, ke the moon, the patroness of
nonsense. ewed from that other sde,
a brd s a bossom broken oose from ts
chan of stak, a man a quadruped beggng
on ts hnd egs, a house a ggantesque hat
to cover a man from the sun, a char an
apparatus of four wooden egs for a crppe
wth ony two.
Ths s the sde of thngs whch tends
most truy to sprtua wonder. It s sg-
nfcant that n the greatest regous poem
e stent, the ook of ob, the argument
whch convnces the nfde s not (as has
10
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f
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a
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h
.
e
d
u

(
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a
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t
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o

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)

o
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2
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s
_
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e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NON N
been represented by the merey ratona
regonsm of the eghteenth century) a
pcture of the ordered benefcence of the
Creaton; but, on the contrary, a pcture
of the huge and undecpherabe unreason of
t. ast Thou sent the ran upon the
desert where no man s Ths smpe
sense of wonder at the shapes of thngs,
and at ther e uberant ndependence of
our nteectua standards and our trva
defntons, s the bass of sprtuaty as t
s the bass of nonsense. Nonsense and
fath (strange as the con|uncton may seem)
are the two supreme symboc assertons of
the truth that to draw out the sou of thngs
wth a syogsm s as mpossbe as to draw
out evathan wth a hook. The we-
meanng person who, by merey studyng
the ogca sde of thngs, has decded that
fath s nonsense, does not know how
truy he speaks; ater t may come back to
hm n the form that nonsense s fath.
498710
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f
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m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
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m
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o

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)

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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U
IN ORM TION
IT s natura and proper enough that the
masses of e posve ammunton stored
up n detectve stores and the repete and
sod sweet-stuff shops whch are caed
sentmenta noveettes shoud be popuar
wth the ordnary customer. It s not df-
fcut to reaze that a of us, gnorant or
cutvated, are prmary nterested n mur-
der and ove-makng. The reay e traor-
dnary thng s that the most appang fc-
tons are not actuay so popuar as that
terature whch deas wth the most unds-
puted and depressng facts. Men are not
apparenty so nterested n murder and
ove-makng as they are n the number of
dfferent forms of atchkey whch e st n
ondon or the tme that t woud take a
G
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a
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f
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m
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@
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a
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m
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h
.
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u

(
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m
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)

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e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
grasshopper to |ump from Caro to the
Cape. The enormous mass of fatuous and
useess truth whch fs the most wdey-
crcuated papers, such as Tt- ts, cence
/tngs, and many of the ustrated maga-
znes, s certany one of the most e traor-
dnary knds of emotona and menta pabu-
um on whch man ever fed. It s amost
ncredbe that these preposterous statstcs
shoud actuay be more popuar than the
most bood-curdng mysteres and the most
u urous debauches of sentment. To m-
agne t s ke magnng the humorous
passages n radshaw s Raway Gude
read aoud on wnter evenngs. It s ke
concevng a man unabe to put down an
advertsement of Mother ege s yrup be-
cause he wshed to know what eventuay
happened to the young man who was e -
tremey at dnburgh. In the case of
cheap detectve stores and cheap nove-
ettes, we can most of us fee, whatever our
G
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f
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h
.
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(
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)

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#
p
d
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g
o
o
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e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
degree of educaton, that t mght be poss-
be to read them f we gave fu ndugence to
a ower and more face part of our natures ;
at the worst we fee that we mght en|oy
them as we mght en|oy bu-batng or
gettng drunk. ut the terature of n-
formaton s absoutey mysterous to us.
e can no more thnk of amusng ourseves
wth t than of readng whoe pages of a ur-
bton oca drectory. To read such thngs
woud not be a pece of vugar ndugence ;
t woud be a hghy arduous and mertor-
ous enterprse. It s ths fact whch const-
tutes a profound and amost unfathomabe
nterest n ths partcuar branch of popuar
terature.
Prmary, at east, there s one rather
pecuar thng whch must n |ustce be
sad about t. The readers of ths strange
scence must be aowed to be, upon the
whoe, as dsnterested as a prophet see-
ng vsons or a chd readng fary-taes.
4
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f
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a
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.
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(
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)

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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
ere, agan, we fnd, as we so often do, that
whatever vew of ths matter of popuar
terature we can trust, we can trust east
of a the comment and censure current
among the vugar educated. The ordnary
verson of the ground of ths popuarty for
nformaton, whch woud be gven by a
person of greater cutvaton, woud be that
common men are chefy nterested n those
sordd facts that surround them on every
sde. very sma degree of e amnaton
w show us that whatever ground there s
for the popuarty of these nsane encyco-
paedas, t cannot be the ground of utty.
The verson of fe gven by a penny nove-
ette may be very moonstruck and unreabe,
but t s at east more key to contan facts
reevant to day fe than computatons on
the sub|ect of the number of cows tas
that woud reach the North Poe. There
are many more peope who are n ove than
there are peope who have any ntenton of
I
G
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f
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m
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@
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a
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m
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
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t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
countng or coectng cows tas. It s
evdent to me that the grounds of ths wde-
spread madness of nformaton for nforma-
ton s sake must be sought n other and
deeper parts of human nature than those
day needs whch e so near the surface that
even soca phosophers have dscovered
them somewhere n that profound and
eterna nstnct for enthusasm and mndng
other peope s busness whch made great
popuar movements ke the Crusades or
the Gordon Rots.
I once had the peasure of knowng a
man who actuay taked n prvate fe after
the manner of these papers. s conversa-
ton conssted of fragramentary statements
about heght and weght and depth and
tme and popuaton, and hs conversaton
was a nghtmare of duness. Durng the
shortest pause he woud ask whether hs
nterocutors were aware how many tons of
rust were scraped every year off the Mena
16
G
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f
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b
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a
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t
m
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
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h

C
o

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g
e
)

o
n

2
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h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/

n
u
.
3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
rdge, and how many rva shops Mr.
hteey had bought up snce he opened
hs busness. The atttude of hs acquant-
ances towards ths ne haustbe enter-
taner vared accordng to hs presence or
absence between ndfference and terror.
It was frghtfu to thnk of a man s bran
beng stocked wth such ne pressby proft-
ess treasures. It was ke vstng some
mposng rtsh Museum and fndng ts
gaeres and gass cases fed wth spec-
mens of ondon mud, of common mortar,
of broken wakng-stcks and cheap tobacco.
Years afterwards I dscovered that ths
ntoerabe prosac bore had been, n fact, a
poet. I earnt that every tem of ths mut-
tudnous nformaton was totay and un-
bushngy untrue, that for a I knew he
had made t up as he went aong ; that no
tons of rust are scraped off the Mena
rdge, and that the rva tradesmen and
Mr. hteey were creatures of the poet s
17
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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.
h
a
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e
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2
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7
/

n
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.
3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
bran. Instanty I conceved consumng
respect for the man who was so crcum-
stanta, so monotonous, so entrey pur-
poseess a ar. th hm t must have
been a case of art for art s sake. The |oke
sustaned so gravey through a respectec
fetme was of that order of |oke whch s
shared wth omnscence. ut what struck
me more cogenty upon refecton was the
fact that these mmeasurabe trvates
whch had struck me as uttery vugar anc
ard when I thought they were true, mme
datey became pcturesque and amos
brant when I thought they were n-
ventons of the human fancy. nd here
as t seems to me, I ad my fnger upon a
fundamenta quaty of. the cutvated cass
whch prevents t, and w, perhaps, aways
prevent t from seeng wth the eyes o:
popuar magnaton. The merey educatec
can scarcey ever be brought to beeve
that ths word s tsef an nterestng pace.
18
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


h
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p
:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
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n
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/
2
0
2
7
/

n
u
.
3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
hen they ook at a work of art, good or
bad, they e pect to be nterested, but when
they ook at a newspaper advertsement or
a group n the street, they do not, propery
and teray speakng, e pect to be n-
terested. ut to common and smpe peo-
pe ths word s a work of art, though
t s, ke many great works of art, anony-
mous. They ook to fe for nterest wth
the same knd of cheerfu and uneradcabe
assurance wth whch we ook for nterest
at a comedy for whch we have pad money
at the door. To the eyes of the utmate
schoo of contemporary fastdousness, the
unverse s ndeed an -drawn and over-
cooured pcture, the scrawngs n crces
of a baby upon the sate of nght; ts starry
skes are a vugar pattern whch they woud
not have for a wapaper, ts fowers and
fruts have a cockney brancy, ke the
hoday hat of a fower-gr. ence, de-
graded by art to ts own eve, they have
9
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
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e
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2
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2
7
/

n
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3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
ost atogether that prmtve and typca
taste of man the taste for news. y ths
essenta taste for news, I mean the peasure
n hearng the mere fact that a man has ded
at the age of no n outh aes, or that
the horses ran away at a funera n an
rancsco. arge masses of the eary faths
and potcs of the word, numbers of the
mraces and heroc anecdotes, are based
prmary upon ths ove of somethng that
has |ust happened, ths dvne nsttu-
ton of gossp. hen Chrstanty was
named the good news, t spread rapdy, not
ony because t was good, but aso because
t was news. o t s that f any of us have
ever spoken to a navvy n a tran about
the day paper, we have generay found
the navvy nterested, not n those strugges
of Paraments and trades unons whch
sometmes are, and are aways supposed to
be, for hs beneft; but n the fact that an
unusuay arge whae has been washed up
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
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r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
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G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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/

n
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3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
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5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
on the coast of Orkney, or that some ead-
ng monare ke Mr. armsworth s
reported to break a hundred ppes a year.
The educated casses, coyed and demora-
zed wth the mere ndugence of art and
mood, can no onger understand the de
and spendd dsnterestedness of the reader
of Pearson s eeky. e st keeps some-
thng of that feeng whch shoud be the
brthrght of men the feeng that ths panet
s ke a new house nto whch we have |ust
moved our baggage. ny deta of t has
a vaue, and, wth a truy sportsmanke n-
stnct, the average man takes most peasure
n the detas whch are most compcated,
rreevant, and at once dffcut and useess
to dscover. Those parts of the newspaper
whch announce the gant gooseberry and
the ranng frogs are reay the modern
representatves of the popuar tendency
whch produced the hydra and the were-
wof and the dog-headed men. ok n
21
G
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a
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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h
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/

n
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3
2
0
0
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0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
the Mdde ges were not nterested n a
dragon or a gmpse of the dev because
they thought that t was a beautfu prose
dy, but because they thought that t had
reay |ust been seen. It was not ke so
much artstc terature, a refuge ndcatng
the duness of the word : t was an ncdent
pontedy ustratng the fecund poetry of
the word.
That much can be sad, and s sad,
aganst the terature of nformaton, I do
not for a moment deny. It s shapeess, t
s trva, t may gve an unrea ar of know-
edge, t unquestonaby es aong wth the
rest of popuar terature under the genera
ndctment that t may spo the chance of
better work, certany by wastng tme,
possby by runng taste. ut these obv-
ous ob|ectons are the ob|ectons whch we
hear so persstenty from every one that one
cannot hep wonderng where the papers n
queston procure ther myrads of readers.
22
G
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a
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
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6
-
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2

1
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:
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G
M
T


/


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:
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/
h
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h
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e
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/

n
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3
2
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0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
The natura necessty and natura good un-
deryng such crude nsttutons s far ess
often a sub|ect of specuaton; yet the
heathy hungers whch e at the back of the
habts of modern democracy are surey
worthy of the same sympathetc study that
we gve to the dogmas of the fanatcs ong
dethroned and the ntrgues of common-
weaths ong obterated from the earth.
nd ths s the base and consderaton
whch I have to offer: that perhaps the
taste for shreds and patches of |ournastc
scence and hstory s not, as s contnuay
asserted, the vugar and sene curosty of
a peope that has grown od, but smpy the
babysh and ndscrmnate curosty of a
peope st young and enterng hstory for
the frst tme. In other words, I suggest that
they ony te each other n magaznes the
same knd of stores of commonpace por-
tents and conventona eccentrctes whch,
n any case, they woud te each other n
23
G
e
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a
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
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G
M
T


/


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:
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/

n
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3
2
0
0
0
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0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O U U IN ORM TION
taverns. cence tsef s ony the e ag-
geraton and specazaton of ths thrst for
useess fact, whch s the mark of the youth
of man. ut scence has become strangey
separated from the mere news and scanda
of fowers and brds; men have ceased to
see that a pterodacty was as fresh and
natura as a fower, that a fower s as mon-
trous as a pterodacty. The rebudng of
ths brdge between scence and human na-
ture s one of the greatest needs of man-
knd. e have a to show that before we
go on to any vsons or creatons we can be
contented wth a panet of mraces.
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
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6
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0
2

1
7
:
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G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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h
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/

n
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3
2
0
0
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0
6
7
3
2
2
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5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O R O
I a prosperous modern man, wth a hgh
hat and a frock-coat, were to soemny
pedge hmsef before a hs cerks and
frends to count the eaves on every thrd
tree n oand ak, to hop up to the Cty
on one eg every Thursday, to repeat the
whoe of M s berty seventy-s
tmes, to coect 300 dandeons n feds
beongng to any one of the name of rown,
to reman for thrty-one hours hodng hs
eft ear n hs rght hand, to sng the names
of a hs aunts n order of age on the top
of an omnbus, or make any such unusua
undertakng, we shoud mmedatey con-
cude that the man was mad, or, as t s
sometmes e pressed, was an artst n
fe. Yet these vows are not more e tra-
ordnary than the vows whch n the Mdde
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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p
:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
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/
2
0
2
7
/

n
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.
3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O R ows
ges and n smar perods were made,
not by fanatcs merey, but by the greates
fgures n cvc and natona cvzaton
by kngs, |udges, poets, and prests. One
man swore to chan two mountans to
gether, and the great chan hung there,
was sad, for ages as a monument of tha
mystca foy. nother swore that h
woud fnd hs way to erusaem wth 8
patch over hs eyes, and ded ookng fo
t. It s not easy to see that these two e
pots, |udged from a strcty ratona stand
pont, are any saner than the acts abov
suggested. mountan s commony
statonary and reabe ob|ect whch t
not necessary to chan up at nght ke
dog. nd t s not easy at frst sght to se
that a man pays a very hgh compment t
the oy Cty by settng out for t unde
condtons whch render t to the a st de
gree mprobabe that he w ever get there
ut about ths there s one strkng thn
26
G
e
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r
a
t
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d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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D
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a

n
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o
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/


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:
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h
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t
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#
p
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f
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2
0
1
2
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0
6
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0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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D
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a

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/


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#
p
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f
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)

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2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


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:
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/
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d

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7
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7
3
2
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5
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c

D
o
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a

n
,

G
o
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/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
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h

t
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.
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a
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s
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#
p
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g
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e
D NC O R ows
m the common but hdeousy sgnfcant
phrase, another man. Now, t s ths hor-
rbe fary-tae of a man constanty changng
nto other men that s the sou of the de-
cadence. That ohn Paterson shoud, wth
apparent cam, ook forward to beng a cer-
tan Genera arker on Monday, Dr. Mac-
gregor on Tuesday, r ater Carstars
on ednesday, and am ugg on Thurs-
day, may seem a nghtmare ; but to that
nghtmare we gve the name of modern
cuture. One great decadent, who s now
dead, pubshed a poem some tme ago, n
whch he powerfuy summed up the whoe
sprt of the movement by decarng that he
c ud stand n the prson yard and entrey
I Omprehend the feengs of a man about to
banged :
or he that ves more ves than one
More deaths than one must de.
thnd the end of a ths s that maddenng
Ibwr of unreaty whch descends upon
29
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
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r
@
d
a
r
t
m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
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t
m
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t
h

C
o

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g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
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6
-
0
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1
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:
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G
M
T


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:
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d

.
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6
7
3
2
2
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5
P
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c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
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e
-
d

z
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d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
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h

t
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s
t
.
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/
a
c
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s
s
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#
p
d
-
g
o
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e
D NC O R ows
the decadents, and compared wth whch
physca pan tsef woud have the freshness
of a youthfu thng. The one he whch
magnaton must conceve as most hesh
s to be eternay actng a pay wthout even
the narrowest and drtest greenroom n
whch to be human. nd ths s the con-
dton of the decadent, of the aesthete, o
the free-over. To be everastngy pass-
ng through dangers whch we know canno
scathe us, to be takng oaths whch we
know cannot bnd us, to be defyng ene-
mes who we know cannot conquer us
ths s the grnnng tyranny of decadence
whch s caed freedom.
et us turn, on the other hand, to the
maker of vows. The man who made t
vow, however wd, gave a heathy an
natura e presson to the greatness of
great moment. e vowed, for e ampe,
to chan two mountans together, perhap
a symbo of some great reef, or ove, 01
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
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m
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)

o
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2
0
1
2
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6
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1
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:
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G
M
T


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:
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/
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h
a
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5
P
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D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
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-
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d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
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t
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s
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#
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-
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e
D NC O R ows
aspraton. hort as the moment of hs
resove mght be, t was, ke a great mo-
ments, a moment of mmortaty, and the
desre to say of t e eg monumentum cere
perennus was the ony sentment that woud
satsfy hs mnd. The modern aesthetc
man woud, of course, easy see the emo-
tona opportunty ; he woud vow to chan
two mountans together. ut, then, he
woud qute as cheerfuy vow to chan the
earth to the moon. nd the wtherng
conscousness that he dd not mean what
he sad, that he was, n truth, sayng noth-
ng of any great mport, woud take from
hm e acty that sense of darng actuaty
whch s the e ctement of a vow. or
what coud be more maddenng than an e -
stence n whch our mother or aunt re-
ceved the nformaton that we were gong
to assassnate the Kng or bud a tempe
on en Nevs wth the gena composure
of custom
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
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o

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)

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n

2
0
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6
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1
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:
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G
M
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c

D
o
m
a

n
,

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o
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-
d

z
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d


/


h
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p
:
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w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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c
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s
s
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#
p
d
-
g
o
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e
D NC O R ows
The revot aganst vows has been carred
n our day even to the e tent of a revot
aganst the typca vow of marrage. It s
most amusng to sten to the opponents of
marrage on ths sub|ect. They appear to
magne that the dea of constancy was a
yoke mysterousy mposed on manknd by
the dev, nstead of beng, as t s, a yoke
consstenty mposed by a overs on them-
seves. They have nvented a phrase, a
phrase that s a back and whte contradc-
ton n two words free-ove as f a
over ever had been, or ever coud be, free.
It s the nature of ove to bnd tsef, and
the nsttuton of marrage merey pad the
average man the compment of takng hm
at hs word. Modern sages offer to the
over, wth an -favoured grn, the argest
bertes and the fuest rresponsbty;
but they do not respect hm as the od
Church respected hm ; they do not wrte
hs oath upon the heavens, as the record of
33
G
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a
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
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t
m
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u

(
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a
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t
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)

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2
0
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:
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G
M
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3
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5
P
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c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
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-
d

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d


/


h
t
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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
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t
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.
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s
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#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O R ows
hs hghest moment. They gve hm every
berty e cept the berty to se hs berty,
whch s the ony one that he wants.
In Mr. ernard haw s brant pay
The Phanderer, we have a vvd pcture
of ths state of thngs. Charters s a man
perpetuay endeavourng to be a free-over,
whch s ke endeavourng to be a marred
bacheor or a whte negro. e s wander-
ng n a hungry search for a certan e ha-
raton whch he can ony have when he has
the courage to cease from wanderng.
Men knew better than ths n od tmes
n the tme, for e ampe, of hakespeare s
heroes. hen hakespeare s men are
reay cebate they prase the undoubted
advantages of cebacy, berty, rrespons-
bty, a chance of contnua change. ut
they were not such foos as to contnue to
tak of berty when they were n such a
condton that they coud be made happy
or mserabe by the movng of some one
33
G
e
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r
a
t
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d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
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t
h

C
o

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g
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)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
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4

G
M
T


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:
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6
7
3
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5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
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t
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t
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/
a
c
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s
s
_
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s
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#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O R ows
ese s eyebrow. uckng casses ove wth
debt n hs prase of freedom.
nd he that s fary out of both
Of a the word s best.
e ves as n the goden age,
hen a thngs made were common;
e takes hs ppe, he takes hs gass,
e fears no man or woman.
Ths s a perfecty possbe, ratona and
many poston. ut what have overs to
do wth rdcuous affectatons of fearng
no man or woman They know that n
the turnng of a hand the whoe cosmc en-
gne to the remotest star may become an
nstrument of musc or an nstrument of
torture. They hear a song oder than
uckng s, that has survved a hundred
phosophes. ho s ths that ooketh
out of the wndow, far as the sun, cear
as the moon, terrbe as an army wth ban-
ners
s we have sad, t s e acty ths back-
34
G
e
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e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
7
:
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G
M
T


/


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e
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7
/

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3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O R ows
door, ths sense of havng a retreat behnd
us, that s, to our mnds, the sterzng
sprt n modern peasure. verywhere
there s the persstent and nsane attempt
to obtan peasure wthout payng for t.
Thus, n potcs the modern ngoes prac-
tcay say, et us have the peasures of
conquerors wthout the pans of soders :
et us st on sofas and be a hardy race.
Thus, n regon and moras, the decadent
mystcs say : et us have the fragrance of
sacred purty wthout the sorrows of sef-
restrant ; et us sng hymns aternatey to
the rgn and Prapus. Thus n ove the
free-overs say: et us have the spen-
dour of offerng ourseves wthout the per
of commttng ourseves ; et us see whether
one cannot commt sucde an unmted
number of tmes.
mphatcay t w not work. There
are thrng moments, doubtess, for the
spectator, the amateur, and the aesthete ;
35
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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d

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h
a
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e
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7
/

n
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3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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p
:
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/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC OP R ows
but there s one thr that s known ony
to the soder who fghts for hs own fag,
to the ascetc who starves hmsef for hs
own umnaton, to the over who makes
fnay hs own choce. nd t s ths trans-
fgurng sef-dscpne that makes the vow
a truy sane thng. It must have satsfed
even the gant hunger of the sou of a over
or a poet to know that n consequence of
some one nstant of decson that strange
chan woud hang for centures n the ps
among the sences of stars and snows.
around us s the cty of sma sns, abound-
ng n backways and retreats, but surey,
sooner or ater, the towerng fame w rse
from the harbour announcng that the regn
of the cowards s over and a man s burn-
ng hs shps.
36
G
e
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e
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a
t
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d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
3
4

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
h
d

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h
a
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e
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2
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7
/

n
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3
2
0
0
0
0
0
6
7
3
2
2
8
5
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
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/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O RC
I never been abe to understand
why certan forms of art shoud be
marked off as somethng debased and
trva. comedy s spoken of as de-
generatng nto farce ; t woud be far
crtcsm to speak of t changng nto
farce ; but as for degeneratng nto farce,
we mght equay reasonaby speak of t
as degeneratng nto tragedy. gan, a
story s spoken of as meodramatc, and
the phrase,.queery enough, s not meant as
a compment. To speak of somethng as
pantommc or sensatona s nno-
centy supposed to be btng, heaven
knows why, for a works of art are sensa-
tons, and a good pantomme (now e tnct)
s one of the peasantest sensatons of a.
Ths stuff s ft for a detectve story, s
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f
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t
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a
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e
D NC O RC
often sad, as who shoud say, Ths stuff
s ft for an epc.
hatever may be the rghts and wrongs
of ths mode of cassfcaton, there can be
no doubt about one most practca and
dsastrous effect of t. These ghter or
wder forms of art, havng no standard set
up for them, no gust of generous artstc
prde to ft them up, do actuay tend to
become as bad as they are supposed to be.
Negected chdren of the great mother,
they grow up n darkness, drty and un-
ettered, and when they are rght they are
rght amost by accdent, because of the
bood n ther vens. The common detect-
ve story of mystery and murder seems to
the ntegent reader to be tte e cept a
strange gmpse of a panet peoped by con-
genta dots, who cannot fnd the end of
ther own noses or the character of ther
own wves. The common pantomme seems
ke some horrbe satrc pcture of a word
38
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#
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e
D NC O RC
wthout cause or effect, a mass of |arrng
atoms, a proonged menta torture of rree-
vancy. The ordnary farce seems a word
of amost pteous vugarty, where a haf
wted and stunted creature s afrad when
hs wfe comes home, and amused when she
sts down on the door-step. ths s, n
a sense, true, but t s the faut of nothng
n heaven or earth e cept the atttude and
the phrases quoted at the begnnng of ths
artce. e have no doubt n the word
that, f the other forms of art had been
equay despsed, they woud have been
equay despcabe. If peope had spoken
of sonnets wth the same accent wth
whch they speak of musc-ha songs, a
sonnet woud have been a thng so fearfu
and wonderfu that we amost regret we
cannot have a specmen; a rowdy sonnet s
a thng to dream about. If peope had sad
that epcs were ony ft for chdren and nurse-
mads, Paradse ost mght have been
39
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#
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e
D NC O RC
an average pantomme : t mght have been
caed arequn atan, or ow dam d
m. or who woud troube to brng to
perfecton a work n whch even perfecton
s grotesque hy shoud hakespeare
wrte Otheo f even hs trumph con-
ssted n the euogy, Mr. hakespeare s ft
for somethng better than wrtng tragedes
The case of farce, and ts wder embod-
ment n harequnade, s especay m-
portant. That these hgh and egtmate
forms of art, gorfed by rstophanes and
Moere, have sunk nto such contempt
may be due to many causes : I mysef have
tte doubt that t s due to the astonshng
and udcrous ack of beef n hope and
harty whch marks modern aesthetcs, to
such an e tent that t has spread even to
the revoutonsts (once the hopefu secton
of men), so that even those who ask us to
fng the stars nto the sea are not qute
sure that they w be any better there than
40
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D NC O RC
they were before. very form of terary
art mus be a symbo of some phase of the
human sprt; but whereas the phase s, n
human fet, suffcenty convncng n tsef,
n art t must have a certan pungency and
neatness of form, to compensate for ts ack
of reaty. Thus any set of young peope
round a tea-tabe may have a the comedy
emotons of Much do about Nothng
or Northanger bbey, but f ther actua
conversaton were reported, t woud pos-
sby not be a worthy addton to tera-
ture. n od man sttng by hs fre may
have a the desoate grandeur of ear or
Pere Gorot, but f he comes nto terature
he must do somethng besdes st by the
fre. The artstc |ustfcaton, then, of
farce and pantomme must consst n the
emotons of fe whch correspond to them.
nd these emotons are to an ncredbe
e tent crushed out by the modern nsstence
on the panfu sde of fe ony. Pan, t s
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D NC O K RC

sad, s the domnant eementv#f fe; but

ths s true ony n a very speca sense. If
pan were for one snge nstamt teray
the domnant eement n fe, every man
woud be found hangng dead from hs own
bed-post by the mornng. Pan, as the
back and catastrophc thng, attracts the
youthfu artst, |ust as the schooboy draws
devns and skeetons and men hangng.
ut |oy s a far more eusve and evsh
matter, snce t s our reason for e stng,
and a very femnne reason; t mnges
wth every breath we draw and every cup
of tea we drnk. The terature of |oy s
nfntey more dffcut, more rare and more
trumphant than the back and whte tera-
ture of pan. nd of a the vared forms
of the terature of |oy, the form most truy
worthy of mora reverence and artstc am-
bton s the form caed farce or ts
wder shape n pantomme.
To the quetest human beng, seated n
42
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#
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e
D NC O RC
the quetest house, there w sometmes
come a sudden and unmeanng hunger for
the possbtes or mpossbtes of thngs;
he w abrupty wonder whether the tea-
pot may not suddeny begn to pour out
honey or sea-water, the cock to pont to
a hours of the day at once, the cande to
burn green or crmson, the door to open
upon a ake or a potato-fed nstead of a
ondon street. Upon any one who fees
ths nameess anarchsm there rests for the
tme beng the abdng sprt of pantomme.
Of the cown who cuts the poceman n
two t may be sad (wth no darker mean-
ng) that he reazes one of our vsons.
nd t may be noted here that ths nterna
quaty n pantomme s perfecty symbozed
and preserved by that commonpace or
cockney andscape and archtecture whch
haracterzes pantomme and farce. If the
whoe affar happened n some aen atmos-
phere, f a pear-tree began to grow appes
43
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C
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#
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D NC O RC
or a rver to run wth wne n some strange
fary-and, the effect woud be qute dfferent.
The streets and shops and door-knockers
of the harequnade, whch to the vugar aes-
thete make t seem commonpace, are n truth
the very essence of the aesthetc departure.
It must be an actua modern door whch
opens and shuts, constanty dscosng df-
ferent nterors; t must be a rea baker
whose oaves fy up nto ar wthout hs
touchng them, or ese the whoe nterna
e ctement of ths evsh nvason of cv-
zaton, ths abrupt entrance of Puck, nto
Pmco, s ost. ome day, perhaps, when
the present narrow phase of aesthetcs has
ceased to monopoze the name, the gory
of a farcca art may become fashonabe.
ong after men have ceased to drape ther
houses n green and gray and to adorn
them wth apanese vases, an aesthete may
bud a house on pantomme prncpes, n
whch a the doors sha have ther bes
44
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#
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e
D NC O RC
and knockers on the nsde, a the star-
cases be constructed to vansh on the
pressng of a button, and a the dnners
(humorous dnners n themseves) come
up cooked through a trap-door. e are
very sure, at east, that t s as reasonabe
to reguate one s fe and odgngs by ths
knd of art as by any other.
The whoe of ths vew of farce and
pantomme may seem nsane to us; but we
fear that t s we who are nsane. Nothng
n ths strange age of transton s so de-
pressng as ts merrment. the most
brant men of the day when they set
about the wrtng of comc terature do t
under one destructve faacy and dsad-
vantage : the noton that comc terature
s n some sort of way superfca. They
gve us tte knckknacks of the brtteness
of whch they postvey boast, athough
two thousand years have beaten as vany
upon the foes of the rogs as on
45
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#
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e
D NC O RC
the wsdom of the Repubc. It s a a
mean shame of |oy. hen we come out
from a performance of the Mdsummer
Nght s Dream we fee as near to the
stars as when we come out from Kng
ear. or the |oy of these works s oder
than sorrow, ther e travagance s saner than
wsdom, ther ove s stronger than death.
The od masters of a heathy madness,
rstophanes or Rabeas or hakespeare,
doubtess had many brushes wth the pre-
csans or ascetcs of ther day, but we
cannot but fee that for honest severty
and consstent sef-maceraton they woud
aways have had respect. ut what abysses
of scorn, nconcevabe to any modern,
woud they have reserved for an aesthetc
type and movement whch voated moraty
and dd not even fnd peasure, whch out-
raged santy and coud not attan to e uber-
ance, whch contented tsef wth the foo s
cap wthout the bes 1
46
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.
e
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(
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C
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D NC O Y- OR IP
T two facts whch attract amost
every norma person to chdren are,
frst, that they are very serous, and,
secondy, that they are n consequence
very happy. They are |oy wth the com-
peteness whch s possbe ony n the ab-
sence of humour. The most unfathomabe
schoos and sages have never attaned to
the gravty whch dwes n the eyes of a
baby of three months od. It s the gravty
of astonshment at the unverse, and as-
tonshment at the unverse s not mystcsm,
but a transcendent common sense. The
fascnaton of chdren es n ths : that wth
each of them a thngs are remade, and the
unverse s put agan upon ts tra. s we
wak the streets and see beow us those de-
ghtfu bubous heads, three tmes too bg
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
7
:
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G
M
T


/


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e
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u
b

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D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
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z
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d


/


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w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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u
s
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.
o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
for the body, whch mark these human
mushrooms, we ought aways prmary to
remember that wthn every one of these
heads there s a new unverse, as new as
t was on the seventh day of creaton. In
each of those orbs there s a new sys-
tem of stars, new grass, new ctes, a new
sea.
There s aways n the heathy mnd an
obscure promptng that regon teaches us
rather to dg than to cmb ; that f we coud
once understand the common cay of earth
we shoud understand everythng. m-
ary, we have the sentment that f we coud
destroy custom at a bow and see the stars
as a chd sees them, we shoud need no
other apocaypse. Ths s the great truth
whch has aways an at the back of baby-
worshp, and whch w support t to the
end. Maturty, wth ts endess energes
and aspratons, may easy be convnced
that t w fnd new thngs to apprecate;
48
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f
o
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m
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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.
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#
p
d
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g
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g

e
D NC O - OR IP
but t w never be convnced, at bottom,
that t has propery apprecated what t has
got. e may scae the heavens and fnd
new stars nnumerabe, but there s st the
new star we have not found that on whch
we were born.
ut the nfuence of chdren goes further
than ts frst trfng effort of remakng
heaven and earth. It forces us actuay to
remode our conduct n accordance wth
ths revoutonary theory of the marveous-
ness of a thngs. e do (even when we
are perfecty smpe or gnorant) we do
actuay treat takng n chdren as marve-
ous, wakng n chdren as marveous,
common ntegence n chdren as marve-
ous. The cynca phosopher fances he
has a vctory n ths matter that he can
augh when he shows that the words or an-
tcs of the chd, so much admred by ts wor-
shppers, are common enough. The fact s
that ths s precsey where baby-worshp s
49
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f
o
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m
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b
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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1
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G
M
T


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o
m
a

n
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G
o
o
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e
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z
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d


/


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/
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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
so profoundy rght. ny words and any
antcs n a ump of cay are wonderfu,
1 the chd s words and antcs are wonder
fu, and t s ony far to say that the
phosopher s words and antcs are equay
wonderfu.
The truth s that t s our atttude towards
chdren that s rght, and our atttude
towards grown-up peope that s wrong.
, Our atttude towards our equas n age con-
ssts n a serve soemnty, overyng a con-
sderabe degree of ndfference or dsdan.
Our atttude towards chdren conssts n a
condescendng ndugence, overyng an un-
fathomabe respect. e bow to grown
peope, take off our hats to them, refran
from contradctng them faty, but we do
not apprecate them propery. e make
puppets of chdren, ecture them, pu ther
har, and reverence, ove, and fear them.
hen we reverence anythng n the mature,
t s ther vrtues or ther wsdom, and ths
o
G
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a
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f
o
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m
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b
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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G
o
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e
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z
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/


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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
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o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
s an easy matter. ut we reverence the
fauts and foes of chdren.
e shoud probaby come consderaby
nearer to the true concepton of thngs f
we treated a grown-up persons, of a ttes
and types, wth precsey that dark affecton
and dazed respect wth whch we treat the
nfante mtatons. chd has a dff-
cuty n achevng the mrace of speech,
consequenty we fnd hs bunders amost as
marveous as hs accuracy. If we ony
adopted the same atttude towards Premers
and Chanceors of the chequer, f we
genay encouraged ther stammerng and
deghtfu attempts at human speech, we
shoud be n a far more wse and toerant
temper. chd has a knack of makng
e perments n fe, generay heathy n mo-
tve, but often ntoerabe n a domestc
commonweath. If we ony treated a
commerca buccaneers and bumptous ty-
rants on the same terms, f we genty

G
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f
o
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m
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@
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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m
o
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t
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C
o

e
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)

o
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o
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a

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G
o
o
g

e
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z
e
d


/


h
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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
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.
o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
chded ther brutates as rather quant ms
takes n the conduct of fe, f we smpy
tod them that they woud understand
when they were oder, we shoud probaby
be adoptng the best and most crushng
atttude towards the weaknesses of hu-
manty. In our reatons to chdren we
prove that the parado s entrey true, that
t s possbe to combne an amnesty that
verges on contempt wth a worshp that
verges upon terror. e forgve chdren
1 wth the same knd of basphemous gente-
ness wth whch Omar Khayyam forgave th
Omnpotent.
The essenta recttude of our vew o
chdren es n the fact that we fee ther
and ther ways to be supernatura whe, fo
some mysterous reason, we do not fee our
seves or our own ways to be supernatura
The very smaness of chdren makes
possbe to regard them as marves ; w
seem to be deang wth a new race, ony t
5
G
e
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a
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d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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M
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D
o
m
a

n
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G
o
o
g

e
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z
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d


/


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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
be seen through a mcroscope. I doubt f
any one of any tenderness or magnaton
can see the hand of a chd and not be a tte
frghtened of t. It s awfu to thnk of the
essenta human energy movng so tny a
thng; t s ke magnng that human na-
ture coud ve n the wng of a butterfy or
the eaf of a tree. hen we ook upon
ves so human and yet so sma, we fee as
f we ourseves were enarged to an embar-
rassng bgness of stature. e fee the same
knd of obgaton to these creatures that a
dety mght fee f he had created somethng
that he coud not understand.
ut the humorous ook of chdren s
perhaps the most endearng of a the bonds
that hod the Cosmos together. Ther top-
heavy dgnty s more touchng than any
humty; ther soemnty gves us more
hope for a thngs than a thousand carnvas
of optmsm ; ther arge and ustrous eyes
seem to hod a the stars n ther astonsh-
53
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f
o
r

m
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b
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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G
o
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.
h
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/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O Y- OR IP
mert; ther fascnatng absence of nose
seems to gve to us the most perfect hnt of
the humour that awats us n the kngdom of
heaven.
54
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f
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h
.
e
d
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(
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a
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m
o
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t
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C
o

e
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e
)

o
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2
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G
o
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e
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/


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h
a
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t
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/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NG
arstocrats of the nneteenth cen-
. tury have destroyed entrey ther
one sotary utty. It s ther busness to
be fauntng and arrogant ; but they faunt
unobtrusvey, and ther attempts at arro-
gance are depressng. Ther chef duty
htherto has been the deveopment of
varety, vvacty, and funess of fe ; o-
garchy was the word s frst e perment n
berty. ut now they have adopted the
opposte dea of good form, whch may
be defned as Purtansm wthout regon.
Good form has sent them a nto back
ke the stroke of a funera be. They en-
gage, ke Mr. Gbert s curates, n a war
of mdness, a postve competton of ob-
scurty. In od tmes the ords of the
earth sought above a thngs to be ds-
G
e
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f
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m
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@
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a
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m
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
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d

z
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d


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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NG
tngushed from each other; wth that ob-
|ect they erected outrageous mages on
ther hemets and panted preposterous
coours on ther sheds. They wshed to
make t entrey cear that a Norfok was
as dfferent, say, from an rgy as a whte
on from a back pg. ut to-day ther
dea s precsey the opposte one, and f
a Norfok and an rgy were dressed so
much ake that they were mstaken for
each other they woud both go home danc-
ng wth |oy.
The consequences of ths are nevtabe.
The arstocracy must ose ther functon
of standng to the word for the dea of
varety, e perment, and coour, and we
must fnd these thngs n some other cass.
To ask whether we sha fnd them n the
mdde cass woud be to |est upon sacred
matters. The ony concuson, therefore,
s that t s to certan sectons of the ower
cass, chefy, for e ampe, to omnbus-con-
56
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@
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a
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t
m
o
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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D
o
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a

n
,

G
o
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e
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.
h
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s
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#
p
d
-
g
o
o
g

e
D NC O NG
ductors, wth ther rch and rococo mode of
thought, that we must ook for gudance
towards berty and ght.
The one stream of poetry whch s con-
tnuay fowng s sang. very day a
nameess poet weaves some fary tracery of
popuar anguage. It may be sad that the
fashonabe word taks sang as much as
the democratc ; ths s true, and t strongy
supports the vew under consderaton.
Nothng s more startng than the contrast
between the heavy, forma, feess sang of
the man-about-town and the ght, vng,
and fe be sang of the coster. The tak
of the upper strata of the educated casses
s about the most shapeess, amess, and
hopeess terary product that the word has
ever seen. Ceary n ths, agan, the up-
per casses have degenerated. e have
ampe evdence that the od eaders of
feuda war coud speak on occason wth a
certan natura symbosm and eoquence
I 57
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. D NC O NG
that they had not ganed from books.
hen Cyrano de ergerac, n Rostand s
pay, throws doubts on the reaty of Chrs-
tan s duness and ack of cuture, the at-
ter repes:
ah I on trouve des mots quand on monte a _
1 assaut;
Ou, | a un certan esprt face et mtare ;
and these two nes sum up a truth about
the od ogarchs. They coud not wrte
three egbe etters, but they coud some-
tmes speak terature. Dougas, when he
hured the heart of ruce n front of hm
n hs ast batte, cred out, Pass frst,
great heart, as thou wert ever wont.
pansh nobeman, when commanded by
the Kng to receve a hgh-paced and no-
torous trator, sad : I w receve hm
n a obedence, and burn down my house
afterwards. Ths s terature wthout
58
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D NC O NG
cut-re ; t s the speech of men convnced
that they have to assert proudy the poetry
of fe.
ny one, however, who shoud seek for
such pears n the conversaton of a young
man of modern egrava woud have much
sorrow n hs fe. It s not ony mpossbe
for arstocrats to assert proudy the poetry
of fe ; t s more mpossbe for them than
for any one ese. It s postvey consd-
ered vugar for a nobeman to boast of hs
ancent name, whch s, when one comes
to thnk of t, the ony ratona ob|ect of
hs e stence. If a man n the street pro-
camed, wth rude feuda rhetorc, that he
was the ar of Doncaster, he woud be
arrested as a unatc ; but f t were dscov-
ered that he reay was the ar of Don-
caster, he woud smpy be cut as a cad.
No poetca prose must be e pected from
ars as a cass. The fashonabe sang s
hardy even a anguage ; t s ke the form-
59
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I
;
D NC O NG
ess cres of anmas, dmy ndcatng cer-
tan broad, we-understood states of mnd.
ored, cut up, |oy, rotten,
and so on, are ke the words of srme trbe
of savages whose vocabuary has ony
twenty of them. If a man of fashon
wshed to protest aganst some soecsm n
another man of fashon, hs utterance woud
be a mere strng of set phrases, as feess
as a strng of dead fsh. ut an omnbus-
conductor (beng fed wth the Muse)
woud burst out nto a sod terary effort:
You re a gen eman, aren t yer . . . yer
boots s a ot brghter than yer ed . . .
there s precous tte of yer, and that s
cothes . . . that s rght, put yer cgar n
yer mouth cos I can t see yer be nd t . . .
take t out agan, do yer you re young for
smokn , but I ve sent for yer mother. . . .
Con oh, don t run away : I won t arm
yer. I ve got a good art, I ave. . . .
Down wth crooty to anmas, I say,
60
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D NC O NG
so on. It s evdent that ths mode of
s not ony terary, but terary n
very ornate and amost artfca sense.
Keats never put nto a sonnet so many re-
mote metaphors as a coster puts nto a
curse ; hs speech s one ong aegory, ke
penser s aere ueen.
I do not magne that t s necessary to
demonstrate that ths poetc ausveness s
the characterstc of true sang. uch an
e presson as Keep your har on s pos-
tvey Meredthan n ts perverse and mys-
terous manner of e pressng an dea. The
mercans have a we-known e presson
about sweed-head as a descrpton of
sef-approva, and the other day I heard a
remarkabe fantasa upon ths ar. n
mercan sad that after the Chnese ar
the apanese wanted to put on ther hats
wth a shoe-horn. Ths s a monument of
the true nature of sang, whch conssts n
gettng further and further away from the
61
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D NC O NG
orgna concepton, n treatng t more and
more as an assumpton. It s rather ke
the terary doctrne of the ymbosts.
The rea reason of ths great deveop-
ment of eoquence among the ower orders
agan brngs us back to the case of the
arstocracy n earer tmes. The ower
casses ve n a state of war, a war of
words. Ther readness s the product of
the same fery ndvduasm as the read-
ness of the od fghtng ogarchs. ny
cabman has to be ready wth hs tongue,
as any genteman of the ast century had to
be ready wth hs sword. It s unfortunate
that the poetry whch s deveoped by ths
process shoud be purey a grotesque
poetry. ut as the hgher orders of so-
cety have entrey abdcated ther rght to
speak wth a heroc eoquence, t s no
wonder that the anguage shoud deveop
by tsef n the drecton of a rowdy eo-
quence. The essenta pont s that some-
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D NC O NG
body must be at work addng new symbos
and new crcumocutons to a anguage.
sang s metaphor, and a metaphor
s poetry. If we paused for a moment to
e amne the cheapest cant phrases that
pass our ps every day, we shoud fnd that
they were as rch and suggestve as so
many sonnets. To take a snge nstance :
we speak of a man n ngsh soca rea-
tons breakng the ce. If ths were e -
panded nto a sonnet, we shoud have be-
fore us a dark and subme pcture of an
ocean of everastng ce, the sombre and
baffng mrror of the Northern nature, over
whch men waked and danced and skated
easy, but under whch the vng waters
roared and toed fathoms beow. The
word of sang s a knd of topsy-turveydom
of poetry, fu of bue moons and whte ee-
phants, of mer osng ther heads, and men
whose tongues run away wth them a
whoe chaos of fary-taes.
63
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D NC O UMI ITY
T act of defendng any of the card-
na vrtues has to-day a the e hara-
ton of a vce. Mora trusms have been
so much dsputed that they have begun to
sparke ke so many brant parado es.
nd especay (n ths age of egostc
deasm) there s about one who defends
humty somethng ne pressby raksh.
It s no part of my ntenton to defend
humty on practca grounds. Practca
grounds are unnterestng, and, moreover,
on practca grounds the case for humty
s overwhemng. e a know that the
dvne gory of the ego s socay a
great nusance; we a do actuay vaue
our frends for modesty, freshness, and
smpcty of heart. hatever may be the
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D NC O UMI ITY
reason, we a do warmy respect humty
n other peope.
ut the matter must go deeper than ths.
If the grounds of humty are found ony
n soca convenence, they may be qute
trva and temporary. The egosts may
be the martyrs of a nober dspensaton,
agonzng for a more arduous dea. To
|udge from the comparatve ack of ease n
ther soca manner, ths seems a reasonabe
suggeston.
There s one thng that must be seen at
the outset of the study of humty from
an ntrnsc and eterna pont of vew.
The new phosophy of sef-esteem and
sef-asserton decares that humty s a
vce. If t be so, t s qute cear that t
s one of those vces whch are an ntegra
part of orgna sn. It foows wth the
precson of cockwork every one of the
great |oys of fe. No one, for e ampe,
was ever n ove wthout ndugng n a
6
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D NC O UMI ITY
postve debauch of humty. fu
booded and natura peope, such as schoo-
boys, en|oy humty the moment they at-
tan hero-worshp. umty, agan, s sad
both by ts uphoders and opponents to be
the pecuar growth of Chrstanty. The
rea and obvous reason of ths s often
mssed. The pagans nssted upon sef-
asserton because t was the essence of
ther creed that the gods, though strong
and |ust, were mystc, caprcous, and even
ndfferent. ut the essence of Chrstanty
was n a tera sense the New Testament
a covenant wth God whch opened to
men a cear deverance. They thought
themseves secure; they camed paaces
of pear and sver under the oath and sea
of the Omnpotent; they beeved them-
seves rch wth an rrevocabe benedcton
whch set them above the stars; and m-
medatey they dscovered humty. It
was ony another e ampe of the same
66
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D NC O UMI ITY
mmutabe parado . It s aways the se-
cure who are humbe.
Ths partcuar nstance survves n the
evangeca revvasts of the street. They
are rrtatng enough, but no one who has
reay studed them can deny that the rrta-
ton s occasoned by these two thngs, an
rrtatng harty and an rrtatng humty.
Ths combnaton of |oy and sef-prostraton
s a great dea too unversa to be gnored.
If humty has been dscredted as a vrtue
at the present day, t s not whoy rreevant
to remark that ths dscredt has arsen at
the same tme as a great coapse of |oy n
current terature and phosophy. Men
have revved the spendour of Greek sef-
asserton at the same tme that they have
revved the btterness of Greek pessmsm.
terature has arsen whch commands us
a to arrogate to ourseves the berty of
sef-suffcng detes at the same tme that t
e hbts us to ourseves as dngy manacs
67
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D NC O UMI ITY
who ought to be chaned up ke dogs. It
s certany a curous state of thngs ato-
gether. hen we are genuney happy,
we thnk we are unworthy of happness.
ut when we are demandng a dvne
emancpaton we seem to be perfecty
certan that we are unworthy of anythng.
The ony e panaton of the matter must
be found n the convcton that humty
has nfntey deeper roots than any modern
men suppose; that t s a metaphysca
and, one mght amost say, a mathematca
vrtue. Probaby ths can best be tested
by a study of those who franky dsregard
humty and assert the supreme duty of
perfectng and e pressng one s sef. These
peope tend, by a perfecty natura process,
to brng ther own great human gfts of
cuture, nteect, or mora power to a
great perfecton, successvey shuttng out
everythng that they fee to be ower than
themseves. Now shuttng out thngs s a
68
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D NC O UMI ITY
very we, but t has one smpe coroary
that from everythng that we shut out we
are ourseves shut out. hen we shut our
door on the wnd, t woud be equay true
to say that the wnd shuts ts door on us.
hatever vrtues a trumphant egosm reay
eads to, no one can reasonaby pretend
that t eads to knowedge. Turnng a
beggar from the door may be rght enough,
but pretendng to know a the stores the
beggar mght have narrated s pure non-
sense ; and ths s practcay the cam of
the egosm whch thnks that sef-asserton
can obtan knowedge. beete may or
may not be nferor to a man the matter
awats demonstraton; but f he were n-
feror by ten thousand fathoms, the fact
remans that there s probaby a beete vew
of thngs of whch a man s entrey gno-
rant. If he wshes to conceve that pont
of vew, he w scarcey reach t by per-
sstenty reveng n the fact that he s not
69
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D NC O UMI ITY
a beete. The most brant e ponent of
the egostc schoo, Netszche, wth deady
and honourabe ogc, admtted that the
phosophy of sef-satsfacton ed to ook-
ng down upon the weak, the cowardy, and
the gnorant. ookng down on thngs
may be a deghtfu e perence, ony there
s nothng, from a mountan to a cabbage,
that s reay seen when t s seen from a
baoon. The phosopher of the ego sees
everythng, no doubt, from a hgh and rar-
fed heaven ; ony he sees everythng fore-
shortened or deformed.
Now f we magne that a man wshed
truy, as far as possbe, to see everythng
as t was, he woud certany proceed on
a dfferent prncpe. e woud seek to
dvest hmsef for a tme of those persona
pecuartes whch tend to dvde hm from
the thng he studes. It s as dffcut, for
e ampe, for a man to e amne a fsh wth-
out deveopng a certan vanty n possess-
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D NC -O UMI ITY
ng a par of egs, as f they were the atest
artce of persona adornment. ut f a
fsh s to be appro matey understood, ths
physoogca dandysm must be overcome.
The earnest student of fsh moraty w,
sprtuay speakng, chop off hs egs. nd
smary the student of brds w emnate
hs arms; the frog-over w wth one stroke
of the magnaton remove a hs teeth, and
the sprt wshng to enter nto a the hopes
and fears of |ey-fsh w smpfy hs per-
sona appearance to a reay aarmng e tent.
It woud appear, therefore, that ths great
body of ours and a ts natura nstncts,
of whch we are proud, and |usty proud,
s rather an encumbrance at the moment
when we attempt to apprecate thngs as
they shoud be apprecated. e do actuay
go through a process of menta ascetcsm,
a castraton of the entre beng, when we
wsh to fee the aboundng good n a thngs.
It s good for us at certan tmes that our-
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D NC O UMI ITY
seves shoud be ke a mere wndow as
cear, as umnous, and as nvsbe.
In a very entertanng work, over whch
we have roared n chdhood, t s stated
that a pont has no parts and no magntude.
umty s the u urous art of reducng
./ ourseves to a pont, not to a sma thng or
(a arge one, but to a thng wth no sze at
a, so that to t a the cosmc thngs are
what they reay are of mmeasurabe stat-
ure. That the trees are hgh and the grasses
short s a mere accdent of our own foot-
rues and our own stature. ut to the sprt
whch has strpped off for a moment ts own
de tempora standards the grass s an ever-
astng forest, wth dragons for denzens;
the stones of the road are as ncredbe
mountans ped one upon the other; the
dandeons are ke ggantc bonfres u-
mnatng the ands around ; and the heath-
bes on ther staks are ke panets hung
n heaven each hgher than the other. e-
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D NC O UMI ITY
tween one stake of a pang and another
there are new and terrbe andscapes;
here a desert, wth nothng but one ms-
shapen rock; here a mracuous forest, of
whch a the trees fower above the head
wth the hues of sunset; here, agan, a sea
fu of monsters that Dante woud not have
dared to dream. These are the vsons of
hm who, ke the chd n the fary-taes, s
not afrad to become sma. Meanwhe, the
sage whose fath s n magntude and ambton
s, ke a gant, becomng arger and arger,
whch ony means that the stars are becom-
ng smaer and smaer. ord after word
fas from hm nto nsgnfcance; the whoe
passonate and ntrcate fe of common
thngs becomes as ost to hm as s the fe
of the nfusora to a man wthout a mcro-
scope. e rses aways through desoate
eterntes. e may fnd new systems, and
forget them; he may dscover fresh un-
verses, and earn to despse them. ut the
73
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D NC O UMI ITY
towerng and tropca vson of thngs as
they reay are the ggantc dases, the
heaven-consumng dandeons, the great
Odyssey of strange-cooured oceans and
strange-shaped trees, of dust ke the
wreck of tempes, and thstedown ke
the run of stars a ths coossa vson
sha persh wth the ast of the humbe.
74
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#
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D NC O P NNY
DR D U
ON of the strangest e ampes of the
degree to whch ordnary fe s un-
dervaued s the e ampe of popuar tera-
ture, the vast mass of whch we contentedy
descrbe as vugar. The boy s noveette
may be gnorant n a terary sense, whch
s ony ke sayng that a modern nove s
gnorant n the chemca sense, or the eco-
nomc sense, or the astronomca sense ; but
t s not vugar ntrnscay t s the actua
centre of a mon famng magnatons.
In former centures the educated cass
gnored the ruck of vugar terature. They
gnored, and therefore dd not, propery
speakng, despse t. mpe gnorance and
ndfference does not nfate the character
wth prde. man does not wak down
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D NC O P NNY DR D U
the street gvng a haughty twr to hs
moustaches at the thought of hs superorty
to some varety of deep-sea fshes. The
od schoars eft the whoe underword of
popuar compostons n a smar dark-
ness.
To-day, however, we have reversed ths
prncpe. e do despse vugar compos-
tons, and we do not gnore them. e are
n some danger of becomng petty n our
study of pettness; there s a terrbe Cr-
cean aw n the background that f the sou
stoops too ostentatousy to e amne any-
thng t never gets up agan. There s no
cass of vugar pubcatons about whch
there s, to my mnd, more uttery rdcu-
ous e aggeraton and msconcepton than
the current boys terature of the owest
stratum. Ths cass of composton has
presumaby aways e sted, and must e st.
It has no more cam to be good terature
than the day conversaton of ts readers to
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D NC O P NNY DR D U
be fne oratory, or the odgng-houses and
tenements they nhabt to be subme arch-
tecture. ut peope must have conversa-
ton, they must have houses, and they must
have stores. The smpe need for some
knd of dea word n whch fcttous per-
sons pay an unhampered part s nfntey
deeper and oder than the rues of good art,
and much more mportant. very one of
us n chdhood has constructed such an
nvsbe dramats persons, but t never oc-
curred to our nurses to correct the compo-
ston by carefu comparson wth azac.
In the ast the professona story-teer
goes from vage to vage wth a sma
carpet; and I wsh sncerey that any one
had the mora courage to spread that carpet
and st on t n udgate Crcus. ut t s
not probabe that a the taes of the carpet-
bearer are tte gems of orgna artstc
workmanshp. terature and fcton are
two entrey dfferent thngs. terature s
77
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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u
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D
o
m
a

n
,

G
o
o
g

e
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z
e
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/


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.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
a u ury; fcton s a necessty. work
of art can hardy be too short, for ts cma
s ts mert. story can never be too ong,
for ts concuson s merey to be depored,
ke the ast hafpenny or the ast ppeght.
nd so, whe the ncrease of the artstc
conscence tends n more ambtous works
to brevty and mpressonsm, voumnous
ndustry st marks the producer of the true
romantc trash. There was no end to the
baads of Robn ood ; there s no end to
the voumes about Dck Deadshot and the
vengng Nne. These two heroes are de-
beratey conceved as mmorta.
ut nstead of basng a dscusson of the
probem upon the common-sense recogn-
ton of ths fact that the youth of the
ower orders aways has had and aways
must have formess and endess romantc
readng of some knd, and then gong on
to make provson for ts whoesomeness
we begn, generay speakng, by fantastc
7.8
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.
e
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u

(
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a
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C
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e
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e
)

o
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o
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a
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#
p
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o
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e
D .N.C O P NNY DR D U
abuse of ths readng as a whoe and ndg-
nant surprse that the errand-boys under
dscusson do not read The gost, and
The Master uder. It s the cus-
tom, partcuary among magstrates, to at-
trbute haf the crmes of the Metropos to
cheap noveettes. If some grmy urchn runs
away wth an appe, the magstrate shrewdy
ponts out that the chd s knowedge that
appes appease hunger s traceabe to some
curous terary researches. The boys
themseves, when pentent, frequenty ac-
cuse the noveettes wth great btterness,
whch s ony to be e pected from young
peope possessed of no tte natve humour.
If I had forged a w, and coud obtan
sympathy by tracng the ncdent to the n-
fuence of Mr. George Moore s noves, I
shoud fnd the greatest entertanment n
the dverson. t any rate, t s frmy
f ed n the mnds of most peope that
gutter-boys, unke everybody ese n the
79
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C
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G
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#
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
communty, fnd ther prncpa motves for
conduct n prnted books.
Now t s qute cear that ths ob|ecton,
the ob|ecton brought by magstrates, has
nothng to do wth terary mert. ad
story wrtng s not a crme. Mr. a
Cane waks the streets openy, and cannot
be put n prson for an antcma . The
ob|ecton rests upon the theory that the
tone of the mass of boys noveettes s
crmna and degraded, appeang to ow
cupdty and ow cruety. Ths s the mag-
stera theory, and ths s rubbsh.
o far as I have seen them, n connecton
wth the drtest book-stas n the poorest
dstrcts, the facts are smpy these: The
whoe bewderng mass of vugar |uvene
terature s concerned wth adventures,
rambng, dsconnected and endess. It
does not e press any passon of any sort,
for there s no human character of any sort.
It runs eternay n certan grooves of oca
80
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.
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C
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e
g
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)

o
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G
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#
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
and hstorca type : the medeva knght, the
eghteenth-century duest, and the modern
cowboy, recur wth the same stff sm-
pcty as the conventona human fgures n
an Orenta pattern. I can qute as easy
magne a human beng kndng wd appe-
ttes by the contempaton of hs Turkey
carpet as by such dehumanzed and naked
narratve as ths.
mong these stores there are a certan
number whch dea sympathetcay wth
the adventures of robbers, outaws and
prates, whch present n a dgnfed and ro-
mantc ght theves and murderers ke
Dck Turpn and Caude Duva. That
s to say, they do precsey the same
thng as cott s Ivanhoe, cott s Rob
Roy, cott s ady of the ake, yron s
Corsar, ordsworth s Rob Roy s
Grave, tevenson s Macare, Mr. Ma
Pemberton s Iron Prate, and a thousand
more works dstrbuted systematcay as
81
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.
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(
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C
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G
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#
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
przes and Chrstmas presents. Nobody
magnes that an admraton of ocksey n
Ivanhoe w ead a boy to shoot ap-
anese arrows at the deer n Rchmond Park;
no one thnks that the ncautous openng
of ordsworth at the poem on Rob Roy
w set hm up for fe as a backmaer.
In the case of our own cass, we recognze
that ths wd fe s contempated wth
peasure by the young, not because t s
ke ther own fe, but because t s df-
ferent from t. It mght at east cross our
mnds that, for whatever other reason the
errand-boy reads The Red Revenge, t
reay s not because he s drppng wth the
gore of hs own frends and reatves.
In ths matter, as n a such matters, we
ose our bearngs entrey by speakng of
the ower casses when we mean hu-
manty mnus ourseves. Ths trva ro-
mantc terature s not especay pebean :
t s smpy human. The phanthropst can
82
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(
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C
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#
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e
D N.C O P NNY DR D U

never forget casses and cangs. e says,

wth a modest swagger, I have nvted
twenty-fve factory hands to tea. If he
sad, I have nvted twenty-fve chartered
accountants to tea, every one woud see
the humour of so smpe a cassfcaton.
ut ths s what we have done wth ths
umberand of foosh wrtng: we have
probed, as f t were some monstrous new
dsease, what s, n fact, nothng but the
foosh and vaant heart of man. Ordnary
men w aways be sentmentasts: for a
sentmentast s smpy a man who has
feengs and does not troube to nvent a
new way of e pressng them. These com-
mon and current pubcatons have nothng
essentay ev about them. They e press
the sangune and heroc trusms on whch
cvzaton s but; for t s cear that un-
ess cvzaton s but on trusms, t s not
but at a. Ceary, there coud be no
safety for a socety n whch the remark by
83
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C
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#
p
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
the Chef ustce that murder was wrong
was regarded as an orgna and dazzng
epgram.
If the authors and pubshers of Dck
Deadshot, and such remarkabe works
were suddeny to make a rad upon the
educated cass, were to take down the
names of every man, however dstngushed,
who was caught at a Unversty tenson
ecture, were to confscate a our noves
and warn us a to correct our ves, we
shoud be serousy annoyed. Yet they
have far more rght to do so than we ; for
they, wth a ther dotcy, are norma and
we are abnorma. It s the modern tera-
ture of the educated, not of the uneducated,
whch s avowedy and aggressvey crmna.
ooks recommendng profgacy and pess-
msm, at whch the hgh-soued errand-boy
woud shudder, e upon a our drawng-
room tabes. If the drtest od owner of
the drtest od book-sta n htechape
84
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D NC O P NNY DR D U
dared to dspay works reay recommend-
ng poygamy or sucde, hs stock woud be
sezed by the poce. These thngs are our
u ures. nd wth a hypocrsy so ud-
crous as to be amost unparaeed n hstory,
we rate the gutter-boys for ther mmoraty
at the very tme that we are dscussng (wth
equvoca German Professors) whether mo-
raty s vad at a. t the very nstant that
we curse the Penny Dreadfu for encour-
agng thefts upon property, we canvass the
proposton that a property s theft. t the
very nstant we accuse t (qute un|usty) of
ubrcty and ndecency, we are cheerfuy
readng phosophes whch gory n ubrcty
and ndecency. t the very nstant that we
charge t wth encouragng the young to
destroy fe, we are pacdy dscussng
whether fe s worth preservng.
ut t s we who are the morbd e cep-
tons ; t s we who are the crmna cass.
Ths shoud be our great comfort. The
85
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e
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(
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C
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)

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#
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
vast mass of humanty, wth ther vast mass
of de books and de words, have never
doubted and never w doubt that courage
s spendd, that fdety s nobe, that ds-
tressed ades shoud be rescued, and van-
qushed enemes spared. There are a arge
number of cutvated persons who doubt
these ma ms of day fe, |ust as there are
a arge number of persons who beeve they
are the Prnce of aes; and I am tod
that both casses of peope are entertanng
conversatonasts. ut the average man or
boy wrtes day n these great gaudy dares
of hs sou, whch we ca Penny Dreadfus,
a paner and better gospe than any of
those rdescent ethca parado es that the
fashonabe change as often as ther bonnets.
It may be a very mted am n moraty to
shoot a many-faced and fcke trator,
but at east t s a better am than to be a
many-faced and fcke trator, whch s a
smpe summary of a good many modern
86
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a
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m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
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a
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m
o
u
t
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C
o

e
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e
)

o
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G
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e
D NC O P NNY DR D U
systems from Mr. d nnunzo s downwards.
o ong as the coarse and thn te ture
of mere current popuar romance s not
touched by a patry cuture t w never be
vtay mmora. It s aways on the sde
of fe. The poor the saves who reay
stoop under the burden of fe have often
been mad, scatter-braned and crue, but
never hopeess. That s a cass prvege,
ke cgars. Ther drveng terature w
aways be a bood and thunder tera-
ture, as smpe as the thunder of heaven
and the bood of men.
87
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f
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m
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b
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a
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t
m
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.
e
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(
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t
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o

e
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)

o
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2
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n
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G
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#
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g
o
o
g

e
M T R INCK
T seecton of Thoughts from
Maeternck s a very credtabe
and aso a very usefu compaton. Many
modern crtcs ob|ect to the hackng and
hewng of a consstent wrter whch s
necessary for ths knd of work, but upon
more serous consderaton, the vew s not
atogether adequate. Maeternck s a very
great man; and n the ong run ths process
of mutaton has happened to a great men.
It was the mark of a great patrot to be
drawn and quartered and hs head set on
one spke n one cty and hs eft eg on an-
other spke n another cty. It was the
mark of a sant that even these fragments
began to work mraces. o t has been
wth a the very great men of the word.
owever careess, however botchy, may
G
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)

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o
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n
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G
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#
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g
o
o
g

e
M T R INCK
be the verson of Maeternck or of any
one ese gven n such a seecton as ths, t
s assuredy far ess careess and far ess
botchy than the verson, the parody, the
wd msrepresentaton of Maeternck
whch future ages w hear and dstant
crtcs be caed upon to consder.
No one can fee any reasonabe doubt
that we have heard about Chrst and oc-
rates and uddha and t. rancs a mere
chaos of e cerpts, a mere book of quota-
tons. ut from those fragmentary ep-
grams we can deduce greatness as ceary
as we can deduce enus from the torso of
enus or ercues e pede ercuem. If
we knew nothng ese about the ounder
of Chrstanty, for e ampe, beyond the
fact that a regous teacher ved n a re-
mote country, and n the course of s
peregrnatons and procamatons consst-
enty caed msef the on of Man,
we shoud know by that aone that e was
89
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h
.
e
d
u

(
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a
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m
o
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t
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C
o

e
g
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)

o
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o
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G
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o
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e
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h
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#
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g

e
M T R INCK
a man of amost mmeasurabe greatness.
If future ages happened to record nothng
ese about ocrates e cept that he owned
hs tte to be the wsest of men because he
knew that he knew nothng, they woud be
abe to deduce from that the heght and
energy of hs cvzaton, the gory that was
Greece. The credt of such random com-
patons as that whch . . . and Mr.
George en have |ust effected s qute se-
cure. It s the pure, pedantc, tera ed-
tons, the compete works of ths author or
that author whch are forgotten. It s such
books as ths that have revoutonzed the
destny of the word. Great thngs ke
Chrstanty or Patonsm have never been
founded upon consstent edtons ; a of
them have been founded upon scrap-books.
The poston of Maeternck n modern
fe s a thng too obvous to be easy de-
termned n words. It s, perhaps, best
e pressed by sayng that t s the great
9
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#
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g
o
o
g

e
M T R INCK
gorfcaton of the nsde of thngs at the
e pense of the outsde. There s one great
ev n modern fe for whch nobody has
found even appro matey a toerabe de-
scrpton : I can ony nvent a word and
ca t remotsm. It s the tendency to
thnk frst of thngs whch, as a matter of
fact, e far away from the actua centre of
human e perence. Thus peope say,
our knowedge of fe begns wth the
amoeba. It s fase; our knowedge of
fe begns wth ourseves. Thus they say
that the rtsh mpre s gorous, and at
the very word mpre they thnk at once
of ustraa and New eaand, and Canada,
and Poar bears, and parrots and kangaroos,
and t never occurs to any one of them to
thnk of the urrey s. The one rea
strugge n modern fe s the strugge be-
tween the man ke Maeternck, who sees
the nsde as the truth, and the man ke
oa, who sees the outsde as the truth.
G
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.
e
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(
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C
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#
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e
M T R INCK
hundred cases mght be gven. e may
take, for the sake of argument, the case of
what s caed fang n ove. The sncere
reast, the man who beeves n a certan
fnaty n physca scence, says, You
may, f you ke, descrbe ths thng as a
dvne and sacred and ncredbe vson;
that s your sentmenta theory about t.
ut what t s s an anma and se ua n-
stnct desgned for certan natura pur-
poses. The man on the other sde, the
deast, repes, wth qute equa conf-
dence, that ths s the very reverse of the
truth. I put t as t has aways struck me;
he repes, Not at a. You ma,y, f you
ke, descrbe ths thng as an anma and
se ua nstnct, desgned for certan natura
purposes; that s your phosophca or
zooogca theory about t. hat t s, be-
yond a doubt of any knd, s a dvne and
sacred and ncredbe vson. The fact
that t s an anma necessty ony comes to
9
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.
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C
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s
s
_
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s
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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
M T R INCK
the naturastc phosopher after ookng
abroad, studyng ts orgns and resuts,
constructng an e panaton of ts e stence,
more or ess natura and concusve. The
fact that t s a sprtua trumph comes to
the frst errand boy who happens to fee t.
If a ad of seventeen fas n ove and s
struck dead by a hansom cab an hour after-
wards, he has known the thng as t s, a
sprtua ecstasy ; he has never come to
troube about the thng as t may be, a
physca destny. If any one says that fa-
ng n ove s an anma thng, the answer s
very smpe. The ony way of testng the
matter s to ask those who are e perenc-
ng t, and none of those woud admt for a
moment that t was an anma thng.
Maeternck s appearance n urope
means prmary ths sub|ectve ntensty;
by ths the materasm s not overthrown :
materasm s undermned. e brngs,
not somethng whch s more poetc than
93
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h
.
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C
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G
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#
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g

e
M T R INCK
reasm, not somethng whch s more spr-
tua than reasm, not somethng whch s
more rght than reasm, but somethng
whch s more rea than reasm. e ds-
covers the one ndestructbe thng. Ths
matera word on whch such vast systems
have been supermposed ths may mean
anythng. It may be a dream, t may be a
|oke, t may be a trap or temptaton, t may
be a charade, t may be the beatfc vson :
the ony thng of whch we are certan s
ths human sou. Ths human sou fnds
tsef aone n a terrbe word, afrad of the
grass. It has brought forth poetry and re-
gon n order to e pan matters; t w
brng them forth agan. It matters not one
atom how often the us of materasm and
sceptcsm occur; they are aways broken
by the reappearance of a fanatc. They
have come n our tme: they have been
broken by Maeternck.
94
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e
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C
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#
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o
o
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e
ON YING IN D
YING n bed woud be an atogether
perfect and supreme e perence f
ony one had a cooured penc ong enough
to draw on the ceng. Ths, however, s
not generay a part of the domestc appa-
ratus on the premses. I thnk mysef that
the thng mght be managed wth severa
pas of spna and a broom. Ony f one
worked n a reay sweepng and mastery
way, and ad on the coour n great washes,
t mght drp down agan on one s face n
foods of rch and mnged coour ke some
strange fary-ran ; and that woud have ts
dsadvantages. I am afrad t woud be neces-
sary to stck to back and whte n ths form
of artstc composton. To that purpose,
ndeed, the whte ceng woud be of the
greatest possbe use; n fact t s the ony
use I thnk of a whte ceng beng put to.
G
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#
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o
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e
ON YING IN D
ut for the beautfu e perment of yng
n bed I mght never have dscovered t.
or years I have been ookng for some
bank spaces n a modern house to draw on.
Paper s much too sma for any reay ae-
gorca desgn; as Cyrano de ergerac
says: II me faut des geants. ut when
I tred to fnd these fne cear spaces n the
modern rooms such as we a ve n I was
contnuay dsapponted. I found an end-
ess pattern and compcaton of sma
ob|ects hung ke a curtan of fne nks be-
tween me and my desre. I e amned the
was; I found them to my surprse to be
aready covered wth wa-paper, and I
found the wa-paper to be aready covered
wth very unnterestng mages, a bearng
a rdcuous resembance to each other. I
coud not understand why one arbtrary
symbo (a symbo apparenty entrey de-
vod of any regous or phosophca sg-
nfcance) shoud thus be sprnked a over
96
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.
e
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(
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e
ON YING IN D
my nce was ke a sort of smapo . The
be must be referrng to wa-papers, I
thnk, when t says, Use not van repet-
tons, as the Gentes do. I found the
Turkey carpet a mass of unmeanng coours,
rather ke the Turksh mpre, or ke the
sweetmeat caed Turksh deght. I do
not e acty know what Turksh deght
reay s; but I suppose t s Macedonan
Massacres. verywhere that I went for-
orny, wth my penc or my pant brush, I
found that others had unaccountaby been
before me, spong the was, the curtans,
and the furnture wth ther chdsh and
barbarc desgns.

Nowhere dd I fnd a reay cear pace
for sketchng unt ths occason when I
proonged beyond the proper mt the
process of yng on my back n bed. Then
the ght of that whte heaven broke upon
my vson, that breadth of mere whte whch
97
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.
e
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u

(
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a
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m
o
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t
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C
o

e
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e
)

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e
ON YING IN D
s ndeed amost the defnton of Paradse,
snce t means purty and aso means free-
dom. ut aas 1 ke a heavens, now that
t s seen t s found to be unattanabe; t
ooks more austere and more dstant than
the bue sky outsde the wndow. or ray
proposa to pant on t wth the brsty end
of a broom has been dscouraged never
mnd by whom; by a person debarred from
a potca rghts and even my mnor
proposa to put the other end of the broom
nto the ktchen fre and turn t nto char-
coa has not been conceded. Yet I am
certan that t was from persons n my po-
ston that a the orgna nspraton came
for coverng the cengs of paaces and
cathedras wth a rot of faen anges or
vctorous gods. I am sure that t was ony
because Mchae ngeo was engaged n
the ancent and honourabe occupaton of
yng n bed that he ever reazed how the
roof of the stne Chape mght be made
98
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.
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(
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a
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m
o
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t
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C
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e
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)

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e
ON YING IN D
nto an awfu mtaton of a dvne drama
that coud ony be acted n the heavens.
The tone now commony taken towards
the practce of yng n bed s hypocrtca
and unheathy. Of a the marks of mod-
ernty that seem to mean a knd of deca-
dence, there s none more menacng and
dangerous than the e utaton of very sma
and secondary matters of conduct at the
e pense of very great and prmary ones, at
the e pense of eterna pubc and tragc
human moraty. If there s one thng
worse than the modern weakenng of ma|or
moras t s the modern strengthenng of
mnor moras. Thus t s consdered more
wtherng to accuse a man of bad taste than
of bad ethcs. Ceanness s not ne t to
godness nowadays, for ceanness s made
an essenta and godness s regarded as an
offence. paywrght can attack the nst-
tuton of marrage so ong as he does not
msrepresent .the manners of socety, and I
99
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o
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.
e
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(
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m
o
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C
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e
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)

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#
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e
ON YING IN D
have met Ibsente pessmsts who thought
t wrong to take beer but rght to take
prussc acd. specay ths s so n mat-
ters of hygene; notaby such matters as
yng n bed. Instead of beng regarded,
as t ought to be, as a matter of persona
convenence and ad|ustment, t has come to
be regarded by many as f t were a part of
essenta moras to get up eary n the morn-
ng. It s upon the whoe part of practca
wsdom; but there s nothng good about
t or bad about ts opposte,

Msers get up eary n the mornng; and
burgars, I am nformed, get up the nght
before. It s the great per of our socety
that a ts mechansm may grow more f ed
whe ts sprt grows more fcke. man s
mnor actons and arrangements ought to
be free, fe be, creatve; the thngs that
shoud be unchangeabe are hs prncpes,
hs deas. ut wth us the reverse s true;
100
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.
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a
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o
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C
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e
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)

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e
ON YING IN D
our vews change constanty; but our unch
does not change. Now, I shoud ke men
to have strong and rooted conceptons,
but as for ther unch, et them have t
sometmes n the garden, sometmes n
bed, sometmes on the roof, sometmes n
the top of a tree. et them argue from
the same frst prncpes, but et them
do t n a bed, or a boat, or a baoon.
Ths aarmng growth of good habts reay
means a too great emphass on those vrtues
whch mere custom can msuse, t means
too tte emphass on those vrtues whch
custom can never qute ensure, sudden and
spendd vrtues of nspred pty or of n-
spred candour. If ever that abrupt appea
s made to us we may fa. man can get
used to gettng up at fve o cock n the
mornng. man cannot very we get used
to beng burned for hs opnons ; the frst
e perment s commony fata. et us pay
a tte more attenton to these possbtes
o
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.
e
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C
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e
ON YING IN D
of the heroc and the une pected. I dare
say that when I get out of ths bed I sha
do some deed of an amost terrbe vrtue.
or those who study the great art of
yng n bed there s one emphatc cauton
to be added. ven for those who can do
ther work n bed (ke |ournasts), st
more for those whose work cannot be done
n bed (as, for e ampe, the professona
harpooner of whaes), t s obvous that the
ndugence must be very occasona. ut
that s not the cauton I mean. The cauton
s ths : f you do e n bed, be sure you do
t wthout any reason or |ustfcaton at a.
I do not speak, of course, of the serousy
sck. ut f a heathy man es n bed, et
hm do t wthout a rag of e cuse ; then he
w get up a heathy man. If he does t
for some secondary hygenc reason, f he
has some scentfc e panaton, he may get
up a hypochondrac.
G
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.
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C
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#
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e
T ITT IRD O ONT
ING
ON my ast mornng on the emsh
coast, when I knew that n a few
hours I shoud be n ngand, my eye fe
upon one of the detas of Gothc carvng
of whch anders s fu. I do not know
whether the thng was od, though t was
certany knocked about and ndecpher-
abe, but at east t was certany n the
stye and tradton of the eary Mdde
ges. It seemed to represent men bend-
ng themseves (not to say twstng them-
seves) to certan prmary empoyments.
ome seemed to be saors tuggng at
ropes; others, I thnk, were reapng;
others were energetcay pourng some-
thng nto somethng ese. Ths s entrey
characterstc of the pctures and carvngs
G
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.
e
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u

(
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C
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)

o
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#
p
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g
o
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e
T ITT IRD O ON T ING
of the eary thrteenth century, perhaps the
most purey vgorous tme n a hstory.
The great Greeks preferred to carve ther
gods and heroes dong nothng. pendd
and phosophc as ther composure s there
s aways about t somethng that marks the
master of many saves. ut f there was
one thng the eary medaevas ked t was
representng peope dong somethng
huntng or hawkng, or rowng boats, or
treadng grapes, or makng shoes, or cook-
ng somethng n a pot. ucqud agunt
homnes, votum, tmor, ra vouptas. (I
quote from memory.) The Mdde ges
s fu of that sprt n a ts monuments
and manuscrpts. Chaucer retans t n hs
|oy nsstence on everybody s type of trade
and to. It was the earest and youngest
resurrecton of urope, the tme when
soca order was strengthenng, but had not
yet become oppressve ; the tme when re-
gous faths were strong, but had not yet
104
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.
e
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(
D
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m
o
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C
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e
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e
)

o
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2
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#
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e
T ITT IRD O ON T ING
been e asperated. or ths reason the
whoe effect of Greek and Gothc carvng
s dfferent. The fgures n the gn
marbes, though often renng ther steeds
for an nstant n the ar, seem frozen for-
ever at that perfect nstant. ut a mass of
medaeva carvng seems actuay a sort of
buste or hubbub n stone. ometmes one
cannot hep feeng that the groups actuay
move and m , and the whoe front of a
great cathedra has the hum of a huge hve.

ut about these partcuar fgures there
was a pecuarty of whch I coud not be
sure. Those of them that had any heads
had very curous heads, and t seemed to
me that they had ther mouths open.
hether or no ths reay meant anythng
or was an accdent of nascent art I do not
mow; but n the course of wonderng I
recaed to my mnd the fact that sngng
was connected wth many of the tasks
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
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t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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G
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G
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#
p
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o
o
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e
T ITT IRD O ON T ING
there suggested, that there were songs for
reapers reapng and songs for saors hau-
ng ropes. I was st thnkng about ths
sma probem when I waked aong the
per at Ostend ; and I heard some saors
utterng a measured shout as they aboured,
and I remembered that saors st sng n
chorus whe they work, and even sng df-
ferent songs accordng to what part of ther
work they are dong. nd a tte whe
afterwards, when my sea |ourney was over,
the sght of men workng n the ngsh
feds remnded me agan that there are st
songs for harvest and for many agrcutura
routnes. nd I suddeny wondered why
f ths were so t shoud be qute unknown
for any modern trade to have a rtua
poetry. ow dd peope come to chant
rude poems whe pung certan ropes or
gatherng certan frut, and why dd nobody
do anythng of the knd whe producng
any of the modern thngs hy s a
106
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.
e
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(
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C
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)

o
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#
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T ITT IRD O ON T ING
modern newspaper never prnted by peope
sngng n chorus hy do shopmen se-
dom, f ever, sng
If reapers sng whe reapng, why shoud
not audtors sng whe audtng and bank-
ers whe bankng r1 If there are songs for
a the separate thngs that have to be done
n a boat, why are there not songs for a
the separate thngs that have to be done n
a bank s the tran from Dover few
through the Kentsh gardens, I tred to
wrte a few songs sutabe for commerca
gentemen. Thus, the work of bank cerks
when castng up coumns mght begn wth
a thunderng chorus n prase of mpe
ddton.
Up my ads and ft the edgers, seep and ease are
o er.
ear the tars of Mornng shoutng: Two and
Two are four.
I07
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f
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T ITT IRD O ON T ING
Though the creeds and reams are reeng, though
the sophsts roar,
Though we weep and pawn our watches, Two
and Two are four.
There s a run upon the ank
tand away
or the Manager s a crank and the ecretary
drank, and the Upper Tootng ank
Turns to bay 1
tand cose : there s a run
On the ank.
Of our shp, our roya one, et the rngng egend
run, that she fred wth every gun
re she sank.
nd as I came nto the coud of ondon
I met a frend of mne who actuay s n a
bank, and submtted these suggestons n
rhyme to hm for use among hs coeagues
ut he was not very hopefu about the mat
ter. It was not (he assured me) that h
underrated the verses, or n any sense a
mented ther ack of posh. No; t wa
rather, he fet, an ndefnabe somethng
108
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T ITT IRD O ON T ING
the very atmosphere of the socety n whch
we ve that makes t sprtuay dffcut to
sng n banks. nd I thnk he must be
rght; though the matter s very mysterous.
I may observe here that I thnk there must
be some mstake n the cacuatons of the
ocasts. They put down a our dstress,
not to a mora tone, but to the chaos of
prvate enterprse. Now, banks are pr-
vate ; but post-offces are ocastc : there-
fore I naturay e pected that the post-offce
woud fa nto the coectvst dea of a
chorus. udge of my surprse when the
ady n my oca post-offce (whom I urged
to sng) dsmssed the dea wth far more
codness than the bank cerk had done.
he seemed, ndeed, to be n a consder-
aby greater state of depresson than he.
houd any one suppose that ths was the
effect of the verses themseves, t s ony
far to say that the specmen verse of the
Post-Offce ymn ran thus :
109
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T ITT IRD O ON T ING
O er ondon our etters are shaken ke snow,
Our wres o er the word ke the thunderbots go,
The news that may marry a maden n ark,
Or k an od ady n nsbury Park.
Chorus (wth a swng of |oy and energy) :
Or k an od ady n nsbury Park.
nd the more I thought about the matter
the more panfuy certan t seemed that
the most mportant and typca modern
thngs coud not be done wth a chorus.
One coud not, for nstance, be a great
fnancer and sng; because the essence of
beng a great fnancer s that you keep
quet. You coud not even n many
modern crces be a pubc man and sng;
because n those crces the essence of be-
ng a pubc man s that you do neary
everythng n prvate. Nobody woud m-
agne a chorus of money-enders. very
one knows the story of the soctors corps
of vounteers who, when the Coone on the
batte-fed cred, Charge 1 a sad smu-
no
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T ITT IRD O ON T ING
taneousy, -and-eghtpence. Men
can sng whe chargng n a mtary, but
hardy n a ega sense. nd at the end of
my refectons I had reay got no further
than the subconscous feeng of my frend
the bank cerk that there s somethng
sprtuay suffocatng about our fe ; not
about our aws merey, but about our fe.
ank cerks are wthout songs, not because
they are poor, but because they are sad.
aors are much poorer. s I passed
homewards I passed a tte tn budng of
some regous sort, whch was shaken wth
shoutng as a trumpet s torn wth ts own
tongue. They were sngng anyhow ; and
I had for an nstant a fancy I had often had
before : that wth us the superhuman s the
ony pace where you can fnd the human.
uman nature s hunted, and has fed nto
sanctuary.
n
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.
e
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C
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TR G DY O T OP NC
MY reatons wth the readers of ths
page have been ong and peasant,
but perhaps for that very reason I fee
that the tme has come when I ought to
confess the one great crme of my fe. It
happened a ong tme ago; but t s not
uncommon for a beated burst of remorse
to revea such dark epsodes ong after they
have occurred. It has nothng to do wth
the orges of the nt-Purtan eague.
That body s so offensvey respectabe that
a newspaper, n descrbng t the other day,
referred to my frend Mr. dgar epson as
Canon dgar epson ; and t s beeved
that smar ttes are ntended for a of us.
No; t s not by the conduct of rchbshop
Crane, of Dean Chesterton, of the Rev.
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TR G DY O T OP NC
ames Dougas, of Monsgnor and, and
even of that fne and vre od eccesastc,
Cardna Nesbt, that I wsh (or rather, am
drven by my conscence) to make ths
decaraton. The crme was commtted n
sotude and wthout accompces. one I
dd t. et me, wth the characterstc
thrst of pentents to get the worst of the
confesson over, state t frst of a n
ts most dreadfu and ndefensbe form.
There s at the present moment, n a town
n Germany (uness he has ded of rage on
dscoverng hs wrong), a restaurant-keeper
to whom I st owe twopence. I ast eft
hs open-ar restaurant knowng that I owed
hm twopence. I carred t away under hs
nose, despte the fact that the nose was a
decdedy ewsh one. I have never pad
hm, and t s hghy mprobabe that I ever
sha. ow dd ths vany come to occur
n a fe whch has been, generay speakng,
defcent n the de terty necessary for
3
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.
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)

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TR G DY O T OP NC
fraud The story s as foows and t has
a mora, though there may not be room for
that.
It s a far genera rue for those trave-
ng on the Contnent that the easest way
of takng n a foregn anguage s to tak
phosophy. The most dffcut knd of
takng s to tak about common necesstes.
The reason s obvous. The names of
common necesstes vary competey wth
each naton and are generay somewhat odd
and quant. ow, for nstance, coud a
renchman suppose that a coabo woud
be caed a scutte It he has ever
seen the word scutte t has been n the
ngo Press, where the pocy of scutte
s used whenever we gve up somethng to
a sma Power ke beras, nstead of gv-
ng up everythng to a great Power ke
Imperasts. hat ngshman n Ger-
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#
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TR G DY O T OP NC
many woud be poet enough to guess that
the Germans ca a gove a hand-shoe
Natons name ther necesstes by nck-
names, so to speak. They ca ther tubs
and stoos by quant, evsh, and amost
affectonate names, as f they were ther
own chdren 1 ut any one can argue
about abstract thngs n a foregn anguage
who has ever got as far ercse I . n a
prmer. or as soon as he can put a sen-
tence together at a he fnds that the words
used n abstract or phosophca dscussons
are amost the same n a natons. They
are the same, for the smpe reason that
they a come from the thngs that were the
roots of our common cvzaton. rom
Chrstanty, from the Roman mpre, from
the medaeva Church, or the rench Revo-
uton. Naton, ctzen, regon,
phosophy, authorty, the Repub-
c, words ke these are neary the same n
a the countres n whch we trave. Re-
3
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TR G DY O T OP NC
stran, therefore, your e uberant admraton
for the young man who can argue wth s
rench athests when he frst ands at
Deppe. ven I can do that. ut very
key the same young man does not know
the rench for a shoe-horn. ut to ths
generazaton there are three great e cep-
tons, () In the case of countres that are
not uropean at a, and have never had our
cvc conceptons, or the od atn schoar-
shp. I do not pretend that the Patagonan
phrase for ctzenshp at once eaps to
the mnd, or that a Dyak s word for the
Repubc has been famar to me from
the nursery. (2) In the case of Germany,
where, athough the prncpe does appy
to many words such as naton and ph-
osophy, t does not appy so generay,
because Germany has had a speca and de-
berate pocy of encouragng the purey
German part of ts anguage. (3) In the
case where one does not know any of the
116
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TR G DY O T OP NC
anguage at a, as s generay the case
wth me.

uch at east was my stuaton on the
dark day on whch I commtted my crme.
Two of the e ceptona condtons whch I
have mentoned were combned. I was
wakng about a German town, and I knew
no German. I knew, however, two or
three of those great and soemn words
whch hod our uropean cvzaton to-
gether one of whch s cgar. s t
was a hot and dreamy day, I sat down at a
tabe n a sort of beer-garden, and ordered
a cgar and a pot of ager. I drank the
ager, and pad for t. I smoked the cgar,
forgot to pay for t, and waked away, gaz-
ng rapturousy at the roya outne of the
Taunus mountans. fter about ten mn-
utes, I suddeny remembered that I had not
pad for the cgar. I went back to the pace
of refreshment, and put down the money.
C 7
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TR G DY O T OP NC
ut the propretor aso had. forgotten the
cgar, and he merey sad guttura thngs
n a tone of query, askng me, I suppose,
what I wanted. I sad cgar, and he gave
me a cgar. I endeavoured whe puttng
down the money to wave away the cgar
wth gestures of refusa. e thought that
my re|ecton was of the nature of a con-
demnaton of that partcuar cgar, and
brought me another. I whred my arms
ke a wndm, seekng to convey by the
sweepng unversaty of my gesture that my
re|ecton was a re|ecton of cgars n
genera, not of that partcuar artce. e
mstook ths for the ordnary mpatence of
common men, and rushed forward, hs
hands fed wth msceaneous cgars, press-
ng them upon me. In desperaton I tred
other knds of pantomme, but the more
cgars I refused the more and more rare
and precous cgars were brought out of
the deeps and recesses of the estabsh-
118
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TR G DY O T OP NC
ment. I tred n van to thnk of a way of
conveyng to hm the fact that I had aready
had the cgar. I mtated the acton of a
ctzen smokng, knockng off and throwng
away a cgar. The watchfu propretor ony
thought I was rehearsng (as n an ecstasy
of antcpaton) the |oys of the cgar he was
gong to gve me. t ast I retred baffed:
he woud not take the money and eave the
cgars aone. o that ths restaurant-keeper
(n whose face a ove of money shone ke
the sun at noonday) faty and frmy re-
fused to receve the twopence that I cer-
tany owed hm ; and I took that twopence
of hs away wth me and roted on t for
months. I hope that on the ast day the
anges w break the truth very genty to
that unhappy man.

Ths s the true and e act account of the
Great Cgar raud, and the mora of t s
ths that cvzaton s founded upon ab-
9
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TR G DY O T OP NC
stractons. The dea of debt s one whch
cannot be conveyed by physca motons at
a, because t s an abstract dea. nd cv-
zaton obvousy woud be nothng wthout
debt. o when hard-headed feows who
study scentfc socoogy (whch does not
e st) come and te you that cvzaton s
matera or ndfferent to the abstract, |ust
ask yourseves how many of the thngs that
make up our ocety, the aw, or the
tocks and hares, or the Natona Debt,
you woud be abe to convey wth your face
and your ten fngers by grnnng and ges-
tcuatng to a German nnkeeper.
120
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