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10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

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Published by: Vikash Kumar on Jun 15, 2012
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10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed. Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence
1. Dress Sharp Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles. This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is ―spend twice as much, buy half as much‖. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet. 2. Walk Faster One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important. 3. Good Posture Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered. 4. Personal Commercial One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost. 5. Gratitude When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence . By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself. 7. Sit in the front row In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room. 8. Speak up During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers. 9. Work out Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day. 10. Focus on contribution Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

The magic of thinking big In mid-November, a local station asked me to appear on live television. ―I realize it’s short notice,‖ the producer wrote, ―but we’d love to have you on the show if you’re available tonight.‖

It’s one thing to say that you want to overcome your fears, but it’s another thing to actually do it. Fear is real. When I was asked to appear on live television, I was frightened. I remembered mydisastrous interview with a Seattle radio station in early 2007. I thought about recent taped television interviews that I had hated. I was afraid of what might happen. But I also thought about the things that had gone right. I thought of how my speaking skills had improved over the past year. I thought about my enthusiasm for frugality and personal finance. And then I thought of the book I was a reading, a book that I had bought for $1.29 at the local thrift store.

The Magic of Thinking Big was a huge bestseller during the 1960s. Written by Dr. David Schwartz, a professor at Georgia State University, the book contains dozens of practical hints and tips (and many anecdotes) to illustrate the power of taking risks to achieve big goals. Schwartz argues that nobody will believe in you until you believe in yourself.

So when the television producer asked if I wanted to appear on his show, I thought big. ―Sure,‖ I said. ―I’ll do it.‖ I acted confident, but on the inside I was frightened. What I needed were techniques to boost my confidence and to overcome my fear. Remember that those times when you feel that your ideas aren’t good enough, or people are putting down on your ideas, or you’re getting fired — that these are the same ideas that you’re going to be celebrated for 30 years later. You almost have to have courage. — Francis Ford Coppola, The Godfather DVD commentary track

How to build confidence and destroy fear Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions. We make choices based on fear instead of what is best for us. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behavior. You might work at a job you hate. You may allow yourself to get deep in debt. You may find yourself moving from one bad relationship to another. Without confidence, you don’t allow yourself to pursue your dreams.

In The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz argues that all confidence is developed. ―No one is born with confidence,‖ he writes. ―Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time, acquired their confidence, every bit of it.‖

Confidence is built slowly, one success at a time. I’ve learned that in order to overcome fear, I need to employ a variety of techniques. Here are a few that I’ve picked over the years, and which I’ve used to help myself get out of debt, and to develop the courage to speak before groups or to appear on live television:

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Don’t dwell on failures. Draw from the things you’ve done right. My talk last week was far from perfect. But if I dwell on the things I did wrong, I’ll psych myself out of future opportunities. I’ll be scared to say ―yes‖ when somebody asks me to speak. Instead, I’m trying to focus on the things I did right so that I can emphasize them in future presentations. Rehearse a positive outcome. Before my live television appearance, I watched clips of similar interviews on the same show. (I’m not a regular television watcher, so this was new.) I arrived at the station early, so I sat in the car, closed my eyes, and imagined the interviewer asking me questions about the subject. I imagined joking with her. I imagined it as a positive experience. Do not procrastinate. Procrastination promotes fear. When you’re afraid, thinking is your enemy. Act. Do what you think is best, and do it quickly. The longer you take to act, the more time you have to talk yourself out of it, the longer you have to imagine the things that might go wrong. It’s not enough to hope. Take action. Here is a psychological principle that is worth reading over 25 times. Read it until it absolutely saturates you: To think confidently, act confidently. — from The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

To think confidently, act confidently. You’ve heard the phrase ―fake it ’til you make it‖. Research has shown that faking confidence actually leads to the real thing. If you’re in a situation where you’re not sure what to do, act like you know what to do. Act confident and you will become confident. (Note that this isn’t license to be a jerk. It’s not a license to lie.) Schwartz says that we can change our attitudes by changing our physical actions. He recommends five specific behaviors: sit in front, make eye contact, walk faster, speak up (offer your opinion), smile. Think like the other person. Remember that people are all the same. We each have the same fears and the same desires. Underneath, most folks are pretty nice. When you’re in an uncomfortable situation, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. While prepping for my talk last week, I used this technique to plan what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. I talked with a dozen financial planners to find out their concerns, and tried to address them in my talk. By doing this, I removed the fear that I wasn’t addressing their interests. Maintain a positive mental attitude. In Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude , the authors write: ―When [a person] is wrapped in the warm, secure belief that he will do well, he is actually able to do better than he knows. His defenses are relaxed; his guard down; he is able to stop spending emotional energy protecting himself from the possible hurts of failure; instead he spends his energy reaching for the probably rewards of success…Confidence has had a measurable effect on him — it has brought out the best in him.‖

Get off your “but”. In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy , David D. Burns offers a variety of suggestions for building confidence and destroying fear. One of these is to learn to defeat a case of the ―buts‖. Schwartz calls this excusitis, the ―disease of failures‖. Burns says that the best way to deal with excuses is to argue with yourself. Every time you say, ―I’d like to save money, but…‖, come up with a rebuttal to counter the argument. Keep going, fighting every excuse you make.

Visualize success. In Feeling Good, David Burns also encourages readers to visualize success: ―A powerful self-motivation method involves making a list of the advantages of a productive action you’ve been avoiding because it requires more self-discipline than you’ve been able to muster. Such a list will train you to look at the positive consequences of doing it.‖ For example, if you’ve been holding back asking for a raise, make a list of only the positive possible outcomes. Once you’ve made the list, fantasize about your life after receiving the raise. Focus on the positive outcome that success will bring you. Look sharp. A lot of us experience poor self-esteem because we don’t like the way we look. But we exacerbate the problem when we dress sloppily or are not well-groomed. I’m not pointing any fingers. My friends and family can readily attest that I’m one of the worst culprits. I’m often unshaven, dressed in sweats, slouched at my desk. Why? I lack self-confidence. But when I have an important meeting, the simple act of putting on nice slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie can change my mindset entirely. Take care of yourself. Do the right thing. if you do the right thing, and you do it well, what do you care what other people think? Successful people will always have critics. Learn from the critics or to ignore them, but don’t let them bring you down. Do the right thing, and confidently own the consequences. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. — from Dune by Frank Herbert

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Keep things in perspective. I know a woman who is paralyzed by what other people might think of her. She’s always on pins and needles, waiting for some cutting remark. Even small things in innocuous conversations become huge things in her mind, rebukes for imagined transgressions. This sort of thing saps any chance at self-confidence. Don’t seek perfection. Remember that the perfect is the enemy of the good. This is a huge problem in my own life. Somewhere along the way, I’ve become a perfectionist. I only want others to see me at my very best, whether it’s on the blog, on television, or even on Twitter . But this perfectionism takes work, and it saps my confidence. Do you know anyone who has ever been perfect? Me neither. Do your best and let go. Read the success literature. Research others who have succeeded. Self-help manuals get a bum rap, and many of them deserve it. But not all of them. There are many fantastic books out there that offer advice on how to improve your life. Read them. Learn from the experience of others. (I’ve found 50 Success Classics to be a powerful motivator [my review].) Don’t compare yourself to others. Be yourself. I’ll tell you a secret. There are a lot of personal finance blogs out there. I don’t get to read them as often as I used to, but I do try to make the rounds once every week. Sometimes when I do this, I feel like giving up. I feel like quitting. I lose confidence. ―I can’t write that well,‖ I think. ―I can’t cover retirement investing as well as Jim did.‖ Comparing myself to others is counter-productive. It only makes me feel inadequate. Who cares what other people write, or how well? What’s important is simply producing the best work I can. All I can be is myself.

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The techniques I’ve listed are effective, but here’s the thing: No list you find on the internet is going to magically make you more confident. No list is going to take action and grant you instant CSS skills , or give you extra money , or grow your savings account, or make

you a better writer . In order for these techniques to be effective, you have to act on them. You have to pick one or two and practice them. Then move on to another pair and practice those. It’s important to put these tips into action. Do something, if only for ten minutes a day. Tell yourself that you’ll move toward your goals for ten minutes a day. If you don’t succeed, do it again. Keep going until you do succeed. Never give up. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…You must do the thing you think you cannot do. — Eleanor Roosevelt

Further reading I’ve barely scratched the surface of what it takes to develop self-confidence. If you, too, have struggled with this, I encourage you to borrow one of the following books from your public library. (These are the books mentioned in this article.)

   

The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone

If you simply want to find more web reading related to this topic, check out the following:

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Zen Habits: Conquer the fears lurking in the dark corners of your mind Get Rich Slowly: The power of ―yes‖: A simple way to get more out of life The Simple Dollar: Investing in yourself: Self-confidence Soul Shelter: The magic of thinking big

The Magic of Thinking Big — the book that inspired this post — is outstanding. It’s sold millions of copies in the fifty years since it was published, and no wonder. On the surface it may seem like touchy-feely feelgood stuff, but deep down, it’s built on strong psychological principles. Here’s Tom Butler-Bowdon’s summary of the book .

Moving forward Tonight I will speak to a group of graduating seniors at Western Oregon University. I’ll talk to them about debt and money management, and about pursuing their dreams.

When I gave this same talk last year, I was nervous. I was afraid. I was worried that I’d do poorly. Even after I’d finished, I thought it hadn’t gone well, so I was surprised to learn that the group had given me high marks.

There’s no guarantee that tonight’s talk will be a success, of course, but I know one thing: I’m much more confident going into it than I was last year. I know that I’ve done this before. I know that last week I spoke before 200 financial planners. I have positive experience to draw from.

By facing my fears head-on, by taking action, I really have been able to build confidence and

to destroy fear.

How to Develop Confidence Speaking
The ability to give a speech is one of the most valued business skills today. And yet most people report that giving a speech is their number one phobia. Try these 10 tips to get over your nervousness and to develop confidence while speaking. 1. Expect to be nervous. Even experienced speakers get nervous. Instead of trying to eliminate your jitters, turn them into energy you can use to boost your delivery. Prepare. Know what you are going to say – and why you want to say it. Practice. Speak to supportive audiences in small forums where less is at stake – at a staff meeting or a PTA meeting. Join Toastmasters or take a Dale Carnegie course. Breathe. In the thirty seconds before you begin speaking, take three slow, deep breaths through your nose, filling your belly. As you breathe out, say silently to yourself, “Relax.” Rehearse. Stand up and walk around as you practice out loud. Don’t memorize your speech or practice it word for word. Talk it through, point by point. Imagine you’re explaining your main ideas to someone who likes you. Focus on your audience. Stage fright is rooted in self-preoccupation. (“How am I doing?” “Am I making any sense?”) Stop focusing on yourself. Focus, instead, on your audience. (“How are you?” “Are you getting this?” “Can you hear me?”) Simplify. Most speakers try to accomplish too much in a speech. Then they worry about leaving something out or losing their train of thought. Aim, instead, to communicate what your audience can hear and understand in the limited time you have. Keep it short and simple. Visualize success. Practice relaxation techniques in the days before your presentation. Lie down or sit comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe slowly. Close your eyes. Scan your body, consciously relaxing any tense muscles. Imagine your upcoming speaking engagement. Picture yourself speaking with confidence. Connect with your audience. Make the audience your allies. Talk to individuals before your presentation to get to know them. Look them in the eye as you speak to them, one person at a time. If your audience sides with you, your job as a speaker becomes much easier and you can relax.









10. Act confident. People won’t see how nervous you are. (They can’t tell if your palms are sweating or your knees are knocking or your heart is pounding.) So don’t tell them. Smile. Stick your chest out. Look confident, even if you don’t feel it.


Learn to be comfortable with yourself and who you are.

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

1. 1

Recognize your insecurities.

Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points. Ads by Google

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2. 2

Talk about it with friends and loved ones.

Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. Check if it's an old past emotion and if it is really still relevant or applicable in your life today. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to acceptyourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".

3. 3

Bounce back from your mistakes.

Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant.

4. 4

Identify your successes.

Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art,music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

5. 5

Be thankful for what you have.

Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

6. 6

Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way.

Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

7. 7

Accept compliments gracefully.

Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

8. 8

Look in the mirror and smile.

Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

9. 9

I am gorgeous, huh?

Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!

10. 10

Stick to your principles.

Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

11. 11

Help others.

Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence.

12. 12
Avoid perfectionism: Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

How we project ourselves to the world depends a lot on how we see ourselves. And how the world sees us depends on how we project ourselves to the world. Not everybody will take the time to get to know you so that they can find out if you are a great person or not, especially in business. This is why you need to be able to project yourself with confidence in your abilities. If you want to ace that job interview, to impress that girl or to simply be able to follow your dreams, you need to know how to improve confidence in yourself. Here are a few tips that will be helpful to you: If you lack self-confidence because you are not satisfied with how you look, then it wouldn’t hurt to try and improve your looks to what you are happy with. Try adopting a workout regimen or maybe try out what kinds of make-up will enhance the features that you already have. This isn’t to say that looks are everything, and you certainly shouldn’t let it run your life, but it won’t hurt to be presentable physically – especially in the corporate setting. As was mentioned before, being satisfied with your looks is not everything. You must alsofix your state of mind. Even the most beautiful people sometimes need to learn how to improve confidence in them. Take a hold of your thoughts. Make a conscious effort not to continually criticize yourself in your mind. Most people aren’t even aware that they do this, but this has a huge effect on one’s subconscious, and subsequently, someone’s self-confidence. After fixing your looks and your state of mind, it is also a must that you try and be more conscious of your actions. When it comes to meeting people for the first time, first impressions certainly count a lot, especially in the corporate setting. Be conscious of the way you stand. Shoulders back, chest out, stomach in. Make sure your handshake is firm, because no one wants to shake hands with a dead fish. Eye contact is also a great way of projecting confidence; and when learning how to improve confidence, you will learn that eye contact goes a long way. It shows people that you are listening and that you are sincere. When people see that you respect them enough to listen to them properly, they will also do the same for you. When it comes to achieving your goals, your confidence is certainly a big factor as to whether or not you will be able to accomplish or reach them, but it will also help to break down your big goals into smaller ones. For example, if you want to be a successful business owner, you will need to have a proper business plan. To be able to realize this goal, break up your goal into ten or so smaller goals. This way, they are easier to accomplish. In learning how to improve confidence, it is essential that one will feel that they are accomplishing something, because someone who feels accomplished is definitely more confident in him or herself.

It will never hurt to have a role model. Find someone who is accomplished to emulate after. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be yourself anymore; instead, get all the good things about that person that you would like to apply to yourself. When you apply the good things that the person has, like confidence and how they carry themselves, and add them to the good things about you that you already like, you are creating a better and more confident you, because you not only believe in yourself, but you also emulate someone that you already look up to. Who knows, someday, you might even be the one that someone who is trying to learn how to improve confidence will look up to.

10 Ways to Think Positively No Matter What

If there’s one thing that’s universal, it’s that every single person in the world is beset by some problem or the other. Just when you think that your issues are unbearable and you can take it no more, you hear stories from other people that are even more heartrending. The thing with problems is that they are always around; if one disappears or is resolved, another is waiting in the wings to take its place. The only way to deal with them is to think positively – there’s nothing that beats the power of positive thinking. But because we’re human and so prone to all faults that are innately human, we have trouble staying free of stress and thinking positively no matter what. It takes conscious effort, but it’s possible to stay positive if you: 1. Count your blessings at the end of every day – don’t focus on the problems you’ve faced that day; rather, think of all the good things that happened and the happiness they gave you. 2. Think of others rather than yourself – when you do things, even the smallest favors, for other people who mean something to you, you feel good about yourself. 3. Be proactive rather than reactive – instead of fretting over a problem and letting it stress you out, focus on how to resolve quickly and effectively. When your mind is busy trying to find a solution, you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking positively. 4. Don’t allow your mind to remain idle – it may be clichéd, but it’s also true that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. So stay busy and keep doing something or the other to prevent negative thoughts from creeping in. 5. Get an hour of exercise every day – even a brisk walk in the morning or evening will do your mental health a world of good. 6. Allow yourself some “me” time – set aside some time every day or every few days for yourself when you get to choose what you want to do; read a book, listen to music, catch up with friends, or just laze around. When your soul is nourished, you find that positive energy flows.

7. Stop negative thoughts before they form completely – if you find yourself becoming depressed because your mind is taking a negative bent, stop those thoughts in their tracks and start consciously thinking of positive things. 8. Spend time with people who love you and make you feel good about yourself – quality relationships make life worth living. 9. Anytime you feel that the weight of your burden is hard to bear, talk to a friend or someone with a sympathetic ear – even if they cannot do anything to help you out, just the fact that you have someone on your side is uplifting enough. 10. And finally, look around you before you start to feel sorry for yourself – there are people in situations that are a hundred times worse than yours, yet they manage to get through each day. So tell yourself that you have a good life, count your blessings, and learn to stay positive no matter what.

Being Positive and Being Happy

There are eighteen steps that will allow you to become positive and happy.
Your journey to being positive and being happy is a lifetime’s journey and there will be lots of fine tuning along the way. One important thing to believe in is that you have the right to happiness, and without this belief you cannot and will not achieve happiness. Here are eighteen steps that will allow you to become positive and happy.

Create opportunities and luck will follow: In order for good things to happen, you have to send the right signals out to others and to yourself. You cannot just sit on your arse and wa however, they do not let that stop them, and they just keep trying until they find it. Focus on yourself: You have an obligation to yourself to make your life the best and productive self focus is the key. It is not about being selfish. It is about recognizing your right to think about yourself and your needs. This will help you attract opportunities. Have a vision: Vision is essential when you are seeking to convert positive thoughts into success. Having a vision is not just day dreaming it is having a clear mental picture of what you want out of life. You must believe in your vision as nobody else will do it for you. You are the one with the vision and you have the power to bring it to life. You need to act on the success you want, in order to make it happen, self-belief plus vision of success leads to opportunity. With opportunity comes confidence and with confidence comes success. Both of these combined lead to even greater success. Make space for your dreams: You have to make space for what you want and show yourself and others that you are serious. If you do not ask, you do not get. In order to ask for something, you have to make room for it in your life. In other words, you have to create the space that allows opportunity. No matter what other responsibilities you have in life, the one to yourself is just as important.

positive things to happen, you have to show that you are worthy of them. A person who succeeds actively sets out to create opportunities. They do not always know exactly what they w

Let go of self-imposed limitations: Many of your limitations are a result of your upbringing therefore, they can be hard to leave behind. These are only parameters that you set yourse

in doing so, you will make them your realty. Changing your behavior means undoing years of conditioning and altering your views about what you can achieve. It means liberating yours from the past and ultimately becoming more comfortable with who you are.

Do not depend on others for approval: It is great if others happen to give their approval, however, do not go around looking for it. You simply can not rely on others to provide your se self-worth. They will not always tell you what you want to hear. They are not always going be there for you. They are not you. Remember, that you have to fulfill your obligation to yourse Remember, you only have one life and if you do not follow your desire whose life are you really living.

Live the life you are living it is the one that matters: You are not doing yourself any favors if you dissipate your energies worrying about what has gone before. You cannot do anythi about past mistakes and you cannot change them. Therefore, dwelling on what might have been is taking up time that you could be using elsewhere. It will also stop you moving forwar will make you unhappy, angry and frustrated. It will hold you back. You cannot change the past, nevertheless; you can do something about the present. The ability to live in the here and is one of the secrets to being positive and being happy, success will then follow.

Think like a strong person: There are no strong or weak people. People who you see as stronger just see things in a different way. When things go wrong, you need to survive the ep and how you do that depends on how you choose to view them. You are not a victim, so do not spend too much time trying to analyze the problems.

Be grateful for what you have: Your loved ones might already know you love them, however, just to make sure why not tell them. Do not take these things for granted. Be grateful for they have given you. Remind yourself how grateful you are for the things you have and the people that have helped you. Do not constantly ask ―is that all there is‖ If you think like that, i might be. If you are not able to see the joy in what you have, then nothing will make you positive or happy.

Do talk to strangers: The world is no more or less evil than it ever has ever been. The majority of people are decent and good and are not out to get you. A stranger is often a friend in waiting. Do not be afraid to acknowledge them and make connection with them. Someone has to start the conversation. A human being who does not have contact with others soon disintegrates into despair, becoming selfish and lonely along the way. Do not let your fears or inadequacies keep you from connecting with the world. Engage with others in a positive w whether it is your neighbor your community or someone you have met, this is the difference between existing and really living. By being positive and being happy will help you attract pe that are the same.

Do not compare yourself to others: Do not undermine your efforts by comparing yourself with others. Constantly looking at what others are doing is not the route to self-acceptance. Y accepting who you are is one of the most important and liberating things, you can do for yourself. Just because good fortune smiles upon a neighbor or colleagues, it does not mean ba fortune is looking down on you. The two situations are not part of the same equation. Your moment will come; however, if you are too busy looking at what others have, you may miss o


Accept that not all life is perfect: Strive to make the most of what you have physically, mentally and emotionally. Do not waste energy on comparing your life with that of others. Every

in life has its trade offs. A life that looks enviable and fabulous on the outside has its own problems. Others are not having a better time than you; they probably have the same insecurit fact, they probably think you are having a better time than they are.

Do not expect too much money: Money is money. It is compensation for everything else. No amount of money can bring you emotional happiness. Believe me, I know people with mo and they are often unhappy. Money is nice to have, however; it should not be the sole reason that you strive to achieve. Money does not always bring happiness or make you positive. Be proud of what you have done so far: Do not shout from the rooftops about your success, however; you are entitled to be proud of what you have achieved. Remember, you are comparing you with you this is not boasting.

Play to your strengths: Concentrate on your skills and attributes these are the ones that come easy to you and that you enjoy. If something is right for you whether it is a job or a relati

you will not have to struggle to make it work. If you try to squeeze yourself into something that is not meant for you, it just will not work. Getting it right means working out what really ma to you first of all. Be true to yourself and do the very best you can, no matter what you do. Not only will others appreciate you more, you will appreciate yourself more.

Remember, you are here for a good time, not for a long time: Life is short and that is reason enough not to allow negativity to dominate. I understand that negativity is part of life ho you do not have to dwell on it. You may also need to think about distancing yourself from negative people. Negative people simply can not and will not think positively, no matter what happens. These people are not good for you. They will not only suffocate your ideas, they will also suffocate you. You need to remove yourself from them. Once you do this you will see things change in your life. You will become more positive and happier.

Use criticism constructively not destructively: Making a relationship better, be that at work or at home requires that you learn to give criticism in a constructive manner. Constructive criticism should leave the recipient feeling thoughtful and motivated, not devastated. Remember, character assassination says more about your character than the other person. You be what you practice, and if you practice being spiteful, even to people who do not know that you are doing it, means you will become a negative person yourself. Seek out new points of view: If you want to learn how to bring about change in your life, you need to develop flexibility; you need to look at all situations from a different point of view, will help you learn something new. You should condition yourself not to be stubborn and resistant to new ideas. Once you have done this you will be better prepared when coping with change. Memorize this: I am a special person. I am allowed to be happy in what I do. I am allowed to consider my own happiness as well as that of others. I am allowed to do all this without feeling guilty. Say these to your self at least once a day, and believe in yourself to carry them through.

Now that you have read all nineteen tips, you should understand that being positive and being happy is your right. At this point I need to make it clear that none of this is prescriptive, so please do not think you have to take all this on board at once. Start by picking out five things that you want to do and become comfortable with them, then when you are ready move on bit by bit. Your journey to being positive and being happy is a lifetime’s journey and you will do lots of fine-tuning along the way. This is known as self growth and self improvement.

I would like to leave you with a simple observation on life, which I believe to be important. The challengers you face everyday do not make you who you are, they just reveal who you ar Never forget that you have a fundamental right to love, to be loved, to be successful and to be happy

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