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Published by therealflatfive
Dating, gaming, relationship advice from Frank Kermit
Dating, gaming, relationship advice from Frank Kermit

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Published by: therealflatfive on Jun 26, 2012
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Dear Frank,
I have been seeing this girl for a few months
now. She calls herself my girlfriend, but I have
explained to her that I see other girls, and
although I do give her permission to see other
guys, I told her it would bug me. What I have
also told her is that I only see other girls for
sex, but I have an emotional connection with
her only. This is not playing her. I really feel it
with her. She has been cool with this so far,
and to my knowledge has not seen any other
guys, although she knows I pick up a club
chick now and then. Next week, I am leaving
the country for 2 months, and she is
FREAKING out. She says that while I am
away, I am going to be out banging, and that I
am going to find someone else, and so on.
While we were in the same town, this wasn’t as
much as an issue with her. But now that I am
leaving on a business trip, she is completely off
her nut, threatening that if I go on this trip, she
is going to break up with me. What can I do to
reassure her that I am not looking to replace
her, even if I have the same kind of fun out
there, that I had while I was here?

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2007


Dear Asker82,

I think this is nothing more than the old Pre-
Vacation Break Up Tactic. My analysis is that
this woman really has it bad for you. She sees
you as such a high value male, that she is not
willing to risk seeing other men, as it may
cause you to dump her. Until now, you were in
town, so when she wanted sex, she could
come to you. Now you are not going to be
there for 2 months. My bet is that she does not
think she can be faithful to you in that time, so
she plans to break up with you while you leave
on the trip, and on the break up have sex with
all her “backup guys”, and then when you
come back, she will get back together with you.

This will create lots of drama and sex for her,
and since you two were broken up, she is not
cheating, and she can still say that she was
never with another guy when the two of you
were together. Technically it would be true. In
her mind, this makes her more special to you,
than any other girl you date, and it is a way for
her to feel she has some control over your
logical ability to justify abandoning her. This
whole tactic is for her to give herself
permission to cheat, even though you told her
she could. Take it as a compliment. Women
only pull this stuff for high value males (that
makes cheating a potential criteria for break
ups…as you did say it would bug you.) Low
value males just never get told when she
cheats on him. To maintain control over the
situation, continue to reassure her that she is

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2007


UNIQUE to you in certain fashions that no
other woman could match, and every time she
tries to break it off, respond with “We Will Talk
About This When I Get Back!” This leaves the
conversation open-ended, unfinished and
unresolved. You already set a great frame. So
even if she does have sex, you can let it bug
you, but you do not have to dump her, and can
maintain leadership of the relationship.

-Frank, because I have to be

83. Think She Might Be Into Funky Stuff?

Dear Frank,

I am into BDSM but it is hard to find women
who are already into it and single. At the same
time, I date “vanilla” women a lot, but I am
afraid to even bring the idea of experimenting
with BDSM stuff to their attention. How do you
screen a girl to see if she would be interested
in flogging or being flogged without scaring


Dear Asker83

Use humour to find out if she would be open to
it. During the course of conversation, make a
joke about how you intend to spank her if she
continues to be a “bad girl”, and gage her
reaction to it. If she freaks out about that, it

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2007


means that she is not into it, at least not with
you. If you are already sleeping with her, try
things like pulling her hair, and spanking her
rear-end. Again gage her response.
Sometimes the issue is not BDSM, but how
much trust and comfort she has with you as a
man. All women love exploring their own
sexuality. If you present yourself as a man
they can feel safe with, their willingness to try
new things increases.

I will give you an example from my own life:
One woman I was seeing once never
experimented with S&M. All she knew about it
was horror stories. When I told her I liked to
dabble, she freaked out and made me promise
never to include her in that aspect of it. I
agreed. 4 months later, she told me that she
felt so safe and comfortable with me, that she
would try anything. I suggested S&M, and she
went for it. She let me tie her up, blind fold her,
and use a variety of whips, crops and floggers
on her. To her own surprise, she couldn't get
enough of it. Today when we talk about it, its
fun to compare how her attitude changed from
the time we first met. This is an example of
how people can change in relationships, and
how boundaries change as well.

-Frank, because I have to be

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2007


84. Why Do Guys Omit Certain Things
When Women Ask?

Dear Frank,

Why do guys try to omit things when girls ask
them questions to get to know them better?
Are they just trying to be mysterious, or do they
really have nothing going one, and are trying to
hide it. I wish guys would just talk to me, more
like my girlfriends.


Dear Asker84,

Oh no you don’t! Any guy that would talk to
you they way your female friends talk to you
would be the biggest turn off for you. He might
make a good friend, or you might even use him
as your therapist, but you would never be
attracted to him for any sort of sex, nor a

The difference between guys and girls is that
guys look for reason they should be having sex
with a girl (as they want to have as much sex,
with as many girls as possible) and girls, who
are on the receiving end of tonnes of male
attention and approaches, look for reasons to
disqualify a guy. That is why my mother vs.
lover theory works. As long as he addresses
her emotional needs, he becomes her lover via
default. Guys that are good with women know
that the less he talks the better, as she will
always just assume whatever she needs to

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2007


assume in order to move the connection
process along. It is what women do. A little
mystery never hurts either, but the dumbest
thing a guy can do is talk his way out of sex.
The less he talks, the more she talks, and the
more she talks, the more special she feels, and
the more special she feels, the more she will
want to have sex with him.

-Frank, because I have to be

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