Heroes in Real Harsh World

Indian Comics
Volume 1

Mohit Sharma (Trendy Baba)

Namaste-Yo! Sab ko!  Heroes in Real Harsh World! is a funny and popular ‘What if’ topic on Raj Comics Forums & Community where fans, writers mix Indian Comics Superheroes (mainly Raj Comics) universes and real life, breaking the formal boundries in which these heroes are restricted (Plus breaking the Fourth wall, the Fifth wall and all the walls following them). Almost all the scenes of HRHW series were posted in the 2007 and 2008. So, there are few outdated comic references and names. I thank all the RC forum members for their great response. I think this should reach to all Indian Comics Fans and that’s why publishing this online. Hindi is typed in English as original Devnagri script is not readable in many devices, plus many people find it easier to read Hindi in sms style. I wrote about 25 HRHW type scenes/stories & there are 11 randomly selected HRHWs here. I publish rest of the scenes depends on the response this work gets. Aapka! Mohit Sharma (Trendy Baba)  Cover Art – Vyom Dayal

1) - Discontinued Series Syndrome (Vedacharya, Nagraj Series)

Bharti apne dada Vedacharya ko lekar 'Doctor Dimaagi' kay clinic jaati hai. Doctor Dimaagi - Kya problem hai, jaanemann...er..madam. Bharti - Doctor, mere Dada ji aajkal ajeeb sa bartaav karne lage hai. Doctor Dimaagi - Explain karo. Bharti - Wo itni zor se kharratey lete hai ki uski aawaz se khud hi har 2 minutes mey utth jaate hai. Doctor Dimaagi - Bas ? Bharti - Nahi, poori Train hai......neend mey apne aap N.W.S. mey chale jaate hai. 2 baar to Nagraj kay haatho marrne se bache hai. Anthony ki comics padhte hai to uski aankhein dekh kar kehte hai ki "Ye meri nakal kyu utaar raha hai ?" Meri Faceless waali dress pehnan kar Mohalley bhar mey kehte fhirtey hai ki "Ye tight kyu hai, ye tight kyu hai ?" Key hole mey se jhaank kar kehte hai ki "Koi ghanti kyu nahi baja raha ?" Himesh Reshammiya kay gaano par nachne lagte hai. Arun ji aur Ahmad ki posts dhyaan se padhte hai.

Doctor Dimaagi - Oh, ye to bahut khatarnaak condition mey hai. Bharti - Abhi khatm nahi hua hai...kal inhone bataya ki sardiyan shuru ho gayi hai. Doctor Dimaagi - Arre wah, ye to badi sahi bhavishyavaani ki inhone. Sardiyan wakai shuru ho gayi hai. Par kaise ? Bharti - Wo bhavishyavaani nahi thi. Mujhse keh rahe thay ki subah su-su karte waqt dhua utth raha tha yaani sardiyan shuru ho gayi. Doctor Dimaagi - O My God.....ammmm......dekhiye aap ghabraiye mat jab Nagraj ki purani series phir se shuru hogi to ye apne aap theek ho jaayenge. The End!

2)– Gifted (Anthony)

PLACE - ROOPNAGAR AAJ MARIA KA JANAM DIN HAI ANTHONY RAAT MAI KABR TODKAR NIKLAPRINCE - KAU KAO KAO (DARWAZA LAGWA LO NA ROZ ROZ KABR FAADKAR NIKALTEY HO). ANTHONY- AAJ MARIA KA HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAI PRINCE,MAI USSEY PHOOL DUNGA.KOI GIFT MAI USSEY DE NAHI SAKTA ISLIYE..........! PRINCE-KAU(YE TO HAR SAAL KI KAHANI HAI) ANTHONY-CHAL AA PRINCE. PRINCE- KAU KAU(HA-HA CHAL TO RAHA HU).

MARIA KAY GHAR PAR BIRTHDAY PARTY KHATAM HO CHUKI THI, SAB USSEY GIFT DEKAR JAA CHUKEY THAY.MARIA GUSSEY MAI BAITHI THI. JULIE- KYA HUA BETI ? MARIA-KHANA KHANEY TO SAB DAUDEY CHALEY AATEY HAI,GIFT KOI DHANG KA NAHI DETA. ANTHONY- MARIA,MERI BACCHI MAI AA GAYA. MARIA-UM HU................ LO INHI KI KAMI THI. ANTHONY - YE LE MERI BACCHI PHOOL. MARIA-KYA KARU INKA..........HAI BATAO KYA KARU...................... NAHI NAHI BATAO MUJHEY...................HAR SAAL AA JAATEY HO PHOOL LEKAR............... ANTHONY - MARIA MERI BACCHI.............................KYA HUA......MUJHSEY KOI GALTI HO GAYI KYA? MARIA- KOI..............AREEY ITNI GALTIYA KI HAI AAPNEY .................. .................AAJ BATA HI DU.HA TO SUNIYE MAINE SOCHA KI PAPA AB BHOOT BAN GAYE HAI KUCH KIMTI CHEEGEY ACCHI DUKANO SEY CHORI KARKEY LAYEGEY GHAR WAALEY KUSH RAHENGEY PAR NAHI AADDARSHWAD KI PIPNI BAJATEY REHTEY HO JINDA THAY TAB BHI AUR AB MARNEY KAY BAAD BHI.AUR KOI KHUSHBOO VUSHBOO NAHI AATI AAPMEY SEY.................ITNI BURI BADBOO AATI HAI KI BAS KYA BATAO NAAK KAY BAAL JAAL JAYE SUNGHKAR.WO TO HUM SAB ISLIYE CHUP REHTEY HAI KI AAP HUMEY HI APRADHI SAMAJHKAR PITNEY NAA LAGO. PRINCE-KAU KAU(YE BAAT TO MAI ANTHONY SE BARSOO SEY KEHNA CHAHTA THA) ANTHONY-MARIA..................... MARIA- CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP BOLO MAT ..............JABSEY KING KAY AANDAR AAYE HO TO AUR MUSIBAT HAI.................. KAMBHAKT DIN BHAR NEEND MAI REHTA HAI........................... KEHTA HAI KI MUMMY RAAT MAI BUSY THA AAP HOME WORK KAR DO.

AB ISSEY KAUN BATAYE KI MAI APNA HOMEWORK NAHI KARTI THI TO ISKA KYA KHAKAR KARUNUNGI.ROZ PARESHAAN KARNEY AA JAATEY HO............KAL DIN MAI TUMHARI KABR KODHKAR TUMHARI LAASH ANDMAAN NIKOBAAR KAY JUNGLELO MAI GADKAR AAUNGI, WAHA AADIWAASIYO KO BACHATEY REHNA.AATMA KAY ROOP MAI KING KAY SHARIR MAI AAO TO ZARA ITNA PITUNGI ITNA PITUNGI KI NANI YAAD AA JAYEGI. ANTHONY-AREEY BAAP RE..................BHAAGO. PRINCE-KAU KAU KAU KAU (CHAL AA ANTHONY HE HE HE). The End!

*Meri ye chhoti si funny post Bedi ji kay liye. (Wrote on 29 December 2008, 1 Day after artist Bedi ji left us) 3) - "Nagraj....aye ki kitta?" Place - A Police Station in Punjab, ek sardar ji Nagraj ko baalo se pakad kar thaane laaye thay...unke saath mey thi unki behosh beti. Sardar ji - Sir ji, vekho....aye hai ji my daughter, Kammo...about to die. Inspector - Aye kaun kitta... Sardar ji - Yo saanp ka pilla....aye dankna hai jinne saadi beti ka gaal dass litta. Inspector - Kaise? Kyu? Sardar ji - NWS (WTS) se Punjab vich aake style maar raha tha.....Kammo isse vekh kay impress ho gi ji...to pher usney khud ko express karann waaste pooch litta ki, "Nagraj ji...ki haal hai...hor gall dasso?" Tey ye sunte hi ye shaitaan jhapat kay Kammo ka gaal dass

litta.... Inspector - Lekin, Nagraj kay vish se wo pighli kyu nahi? Sardar ji - Rich Punjabi family...tey make up ki layers nay vish ko uss tak pahuchan naa diya...wo to iski body odour soongh kay behosh ho gi hai ji. The End!

4) - Birds Battalion (Dhruv) Dhruv ek bahut bade apradhi Trendster ki talaash mey tha. Trendster ek bahut hi professional apradhi tha. Uska asli naam Mohit tha. Mohit dil ka bahut saaf banda tha.....OK...OK...mai aage likh raha hun.....ye creditline mey aane ki urge aise kaam karva deti hai. Haan to Trendster naam ka apradhi sirf official records kay liye apradh karta tha, (O Uncle, mai record kay liye posting nahi karta). Rajnagar mey apradh karne kay peeche uska maksad tha ki wo Dhruv kay elake mey apradh karke bach jaane waale apradhiyon ki list mey aana chahta tha. Taaki wo rural areas kay underworld ki ladkiyon par style maar sake, (Mai aisa kabhi kabhi kar leta hun). Trendster shehar mey chhoti moti choriyan karta raha par kisi nay uspar dhyaan nahi diya. Phir usne ek subah Dhruv ki bike par baith kar usse start kiya aur tabhi Dhruv ki aawaz nay usse rooka. Dhruv - Oye....bhaiya...ruk jaa...mere papa Police mey hai. Trendster - Toh...Police ka naam sun kar kya mai darr jaaunga....wo bhi India ki....huh!! Dhruv - Nahi...Police thaaney mey bahut si chori ki gumnaam bikes khaali padi rehti hai. Ek tujhe dilva dunga.

Trendster - Mujhe teri hi chahiye aur maine teri dress bhi chura li hai. Aaja mujh pe Utility Belt use kar le.....star blade marke dikhaiyo zara. Jaa pehle jaake kulla wulla karke aa....lagey haath fresh bhi ho liyo. Trendster faraar ho chuka tha aur Dhruv fresh honay kay baad saade kapdo mey uski talaash mey nikla. Usne paas mey hi baithey ek chidiyaon kay ghund se madad aur pooch taach karne ka mann banaya. Usne birds ki bhasha bolni shuru ki jiski detailing mai kyu karun ? Dhruv - Chi chi chaw......(Hello, Chidiyon.) Ek Chidiya nay jawab diya - Chaw chi chi.....(Chal re bina pankho kay Bandar hawa aane de.) Dhruv - Chi Cham chola......(Arre, Lagta hai bina dress kay tum logo nay mujhe pehchana nahi. Mai Dhruv hun.) Ek doosri Chidiya - Chilli Choi......(To mooh pe laga tooth paste poonch le aur aasmaan mey jaakar chamak.) Dhruv - Cham cham chor......(Mazaak mat karo. Mujhe tum logo ki madad chahiye.) Sardar Chidiya - Cheel cheel chilla kay......(Bilkul bhi chain nahi hai bilkul bhi isse...come on everybody iski madad kar do.) Chidiyon kay uss bade jhunnd nay Dhruv par hamla kar diya aur usse fhatey haal, lahu luhaan chhod diya. Iske baad wahan se wo jhunnd udd chala. Thodi dair baad wahan se ek chidiya guzri. Chidiya - Cheekh kay chullu mey marr.....(Arre, Dhruv tumhara ye haal kisne kiya. Kya mai tumhari madad kar dun ?) Dhruv - Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...... (Nahiiiiiiiiiiii bas mujhe ye bata do ki aaj kal shehar ki birds itni chidchidi kyu ho gayi hai ?) Chidiya - Charu chandra ki chanchal chidiyan...... (Shehar ki to

sabhi birds normal hai......par haan aajkal Pakistan aur Afganistan se Migratory Birds ka ek bada jhunnd Rajnagar aaya hua hai.) The End!

5) – Haq ki Pitaai !! (Multistar)
BRAHMAND RAKSHAK KAY HEAD QUATER MAI TIRANGA,INS. STEEL,SHAKTI,ANTHONY, NAY BAAKI SAB HEROES KO EMERGENCY MESSAGE DEKAR BULAYA THA. DHRUV,NAGRAJ,PARMANU,DOGA,KOBI,BHERIYA,SAB JALDI HI BRAHMAND RAKSHAK KAY HEADQUATER PAHUNCHEY.

DHRUV- LAGTA HAI KOI BAHUT ZAROORI BAAT HAI. NAGRAJ- HA,LAGTA HAI DUNIYA KHATREY MAI HAI. SABHI HEROES BRAHMAND RAKSHAK KAY HEAD QUATER PAHUNCH CHUKEY THAY. TIRANGA-SHAKTI........ZARA DARWAZA TO BAND KARNA......... DOGA-DARWAZA KYU BAND KARWA RAHEY HO TIRANGA TIRANGA-ABHI BATATA HU,MARO......... MARO........... PEET GERO AK-AK KO........

TIRANGA KAY ITNA KEHTEY HI (ANTHONY,SHAKTI,INS. STEEL) BAAKI BULAYE GAYE

HEROES(NAGRAJ,DHRUV,DOGA,PARMANU,KOBI,BHERIYA) PAR TUUT PADEY. JABKI TIRANGA DOOR SEY SABKO INSTRUCTION DE RAHA THA

"ANTHONY................JAKAD LE NAGRAJ KO THANDI AAG MAI......KUNDAL NOOCH LE ISKEY.................BAAL PHAAD........BAAL PHAAD DE ISKEY BAAL BAHUT HAIR STYLE DIKHATA HAI. INS. STEEL BAITH JAA DHRUV AUR DOGA KAY UPAR CHATNI NIKAL DE INKI....JUICE BANA DE........SHAKTI TU KOBI KI POONCH MAI GAANTH LAGA DE..........YE KHADAG AUR TRISHOOL-VISHOOL KYA FAANK RAHI HAI.........JWALA CHODD FRY KAR DE IN SABKO......MOOH NOCH LE BHERIYA KA.......NAKHOON GADA DE................AUR NIKAMEY STEEL KHALI BETHNA THODI HAI DHRUV, DOGA KAY UPAR, DUKKEY(MUKKEY) BHI PAILTA REH INKI KAMAR MAI.................DOGA AUR PARMANU KAY MASK NOOCH LO .........RUK JAO PHOTO KEECH LU INN DONO KI….(CLICK - CLICK) HA...........AB THEEK HAI KAL AKHBARO KAY FRONT PAGE PAR INN DONO KAY CHEHREY CHAPWAUNGA.SABKEY HAATH PAIR MOOH SAB BAANDH DO AB MAI APNI BADHAAS NIKAL LU................NAGRAJ TERA DOOSRA KUNDAL TO NUCHNEY SE BAACH GAYA AAAAAAHAA YE LE. AAYA MAZAA...............AUR DHRUV......BAHUT DEMAAG CHALTA HAI.......TERE TO SAR PAR MARUNGA.............BRAIN TUMER HO JAY TUJHEY.......DOGA..............CHEEKH.............CHEEKH....." DHRUV- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TIRANGA- TU KYU CHEEKH RAHA HAI DHRUV- YE TO CHEEKHEGA NAHI,MAINEY SOCHA KI TIME WASTE

NA HO ISLIYE........ TIRANGA - O ACCHA YE LE INAAM.....(BISHUM-DISHUM). ISSI TARAH TIRANGA NEY SABHI PAR APNI BADHAS NIKALI. NAGRAJ-AAREY BHAIYO,YE TO BATA DO KI ITNA KYU MAARA..... HAI...PEET DIYA BEREHAMO NEY. SHAKTI- HA HA HA ..............AMMMMMMMMMMMM TIRANGA-SHAKTI, MAI JAANTA THA KI TUM DIALOUGE BHOOL JAOGI.....HA HA HA............TO SUNO..........TUM LOG MULTISTARERS MAI SAARA CREDIT KHUD LE JAATEY HO AUR HUM LOGO KI TO ENTRY BHI DHANG SEY NAHI HOTI.DO-CHAR FRAMES MAI HI NIPTWA DETE HO. KUCH BOLO TO TOOK DETE HO.. ..........AAJKAL TO 3-4 LOG MILKAR HI AK MULTISTARER BANA LETE HO YAAD BHI NAHI KARTEY HUM LOGO KO.AB PITNA TO PADEGA HI. FAN FORUM-COMMUNITIES PAR BHI SAB LOG MAZAK UDATEY HAI.......... HUMARI DISCONTINUED SERIES KO DISCONTINUED HI REHNEY KO KEHTEY HAI..........ITNI SHARAM AATI HAI KI KYA BATAYE? DOGA-SORRY,BHAIYO AB HUMEY MAAF KAR DO. TIRANGA-ITNEY SAALO SEY HUM JHEL RAHEY HAI.........BHADAS TO NIKALEYGEY HI..............CHALO SHURU HO JAO SAB PHIR SEY PEETO INN LOGO KO.

AUR ISSI KAY SAATH...........PITAI KA DOOSRA DAUR SHURU HO GAYA. The End!

6) – The Comical Cricket
Story Attributes Genre – Comedy Characters
           

Anthony Bheriya Bhokal Doga Inspector Steel Nagraj Parmanu Shakti Super Commando Dhruva Super Indian Tiranga Other

Villains
   

Bauna Vaman Big Boss Kaal Paheliya Nagpasha

Other Villains Principal, Bhanja, Wonder Woman, etc Status Complete HEROES V/S VILLIANS CRICKET MATCH

COMMENTATORS HEROES SIDE

SEBBY,YODDHA.

COACH - ADRAK CHACHA 1- NAGRAJ 2- DHRUV 3- DOGA 4- PARMANU 5- SUPER INDIAN 6- BHOKAL 7- KOBI 8- INS. STEEL 9- SHAKTI 10- TIRANGA 11- ANTHONY 12th MAN- AGHORI VILLIANS SIDE COACH- GURUDEV 1- NAGPAASHA 2- WONDERWOMAN

3- PRINCIPAL 4- BAUNA VAMAN 5- BHANJAA 6- MECHANIC 7- KAAL PAHAILIYA 8- TANTANA 9- KAFAN 10- MAHAMANAV 11- PROFESSOR ENVIRO 12th MAN- BIG BOSS GROUND UMPIRES DEV KAALJAYI, GARALGANT. THIRD UMPIRE-PROBOT. TO TAYAAR HO JAIYE ISS ANOKHEY TAKRAAV KAY LIYE.

ISS MATCH KA KOI REFREE NAHI AUR STAND BY UMPIRES BHI NAHI HAI AUR SABHI SIDE CHARACTERS AUR SIDE VILLIANS AUDIENCE MAI MAUJOOD HAI.ISS MATCH KA MAKSAD HAI "RAJCOMICS KI POPULARITY BADHANA", IN SHORT "KUCH NAHI". ----------------------------------------------------------

The Comical Cricket (Part 1 of 6)

Toss hua aur batting mili Heroes side ko. KAAL PAHAILIYA - Kya hua Guru dev, aapne to kaha tha ki Toss mai jo sikka isteymaal hoga wo machini hai aur usse uchalne par sirf "Head" aayega....phir hume batting kyu nahi mili ? GURUDEV - Ye gadha "Nagpasha" toss jeet kar itna khush ho gaya jaise match jeet liya aur un Heroes ko keh diya ki jao "Batting tumhe di." Wahi Heroes kay dressing room mey. DOGA- Arre koi iss Super Indian ko batting par bhej do. ADRAK CHACHA- Haan, opening kay liye Super Indian accha rahega,accha idea socha Doga. DOGA- Maine kuch nahi socha.....jabse batting mili hai, tabse kaan kha rakhe hai isney, "Chacha-chacha mujhe batting karni hai." Match Shuru hua. YODDHA- Aap sabhi darshako ka swagat hai..... SEBBY - Ham hay Sebby aur aye hay Yoddha,Nagpusha toss jeetkar bowling karne ko kaha....... YODDHA- Srimaan Nagpasha ka nirnay vivadaspad lag raha hai.Paari ka udghatan Ins. Steel Mahoday aur yuva pratibha shrimaan Super Indian karengey.Bowling kar rahi hai Shushri Wonderwoman. Ins. Steel pehli ball ko markar daud pada par aadhi pitch par jakar hi tukdo mai bikhar kar gir gaya,bowling kar rahi wonderwoman nay usse runout kar diya.

UMPIRE DEV KAALJAYI - Iss kabaad ko uttha kar le jao,par runout to wonderwoman nay kiya hai sab "Mechanik" Ko kyu shabashi de rahe hai. Ins. Steel ko batoor ne may kaafi samay laga jiss kaaran Villians team nay agle batsman ko "TIME OUT" karne ki appeal ki. Heroes dressing room TIRANGA - Agla batsman to Doga tha naa,sab mujhe kyu dekh rahe ho.............nahi aisa mat karo, Bhagwaan kay liye mujhe jaane do. Aur iss tarah Tiranga bina khele hi "Time Out" ghoshit kar diye gaye. Agle batsman aa rahe hai...................Harpaal DOGA- Harpaal............ ..........Huh

Aur ye Harpaal nay sweep kar diya char run kay liye Heroes ka khata khula. Harpaal bahut Pratibhavaan lagte hai. DOGA (Bat fenk kar) - Sanjay ji..............mujhe gussa aa raha hai. SANJAY GUPTA - Hota hai Doga, naya writer hai, adjust kar lo. DOGA - Naya writer hai to kya naam bhi nahi jaanta........"Harpaal", tabhi mai aapko "jalti nazro se dekhta hu" (Green Page quote "Mai Doga ko jalti nazaro se dekhta hun")...soch samajh kay naye log rakha kariye, meri bhi koi image hai. Super Indian ko strike mili aur pehli ball ko nudge karne kay harsh mai unhone super jump Laga di, aur flood lights mai faas gaye,nateja unke hawa mai rehne kay kaaran unhe runout ghoshit kiya gaya. Ab 3 down par aaye Kobi pehli ball face karne. Bhanja ball karate hue........ball Kobi kay pads par laagi Bhanja ki zoordaar appeal........

BHANJA - OUT HAI UMPIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, HOWAZZATTTTTTT UMPIREEEEEEE!! Aur ye kya Kobi nay itihaas rach diya, aap khud hi suniye aur dekhiye........... KOBI- NOT OUT HAI UMPIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOT HOWZZATTTTTT UMPIREEEEEEEEEE!! Iss tarah kisi batsman nay pehli baar "Not out" ki appeal karke itihaas rach diya hai,Umpire ko Kobi ki appeal kuch zyada hi pasand aa gayi aur unhe not out karaar diya gaya. Kobi aur Doga ki Jodi jam gayi aur unhone Heroes team kay score ko 50 run tak pahunchaya. Unki sajhedaari ko toodne kay liye Kaal Pahailiya ko bulaya gaya.Kaal pahailiya nay parchi mai lapetkar Doga ki aur kuch fainka. Doga nay parchi padhi. "Doge, Tujhme hai akal kam, Iss parchi kay saath tha Bomb." DOGA - Kaalu, ye kaisi paheli hai jawaab bhi issi parchi mai likh diya, bahut unprofessional ho gaye ho tum! Bhak!! Tabhi Doga kay paas wahi bomb fatta, BADDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!! Aur Doga ghayal (Retired hurt) ho gaya. Jaate-Jaate Doga, Kaal pahailiya se DOGA - Mai tumhare bomb se "UDD" chukka hu par aage se dhyaan rakhna, ye unprofessional ravaiya mujhe bilkul pasand nahi wo bhi mere villain ka. Waise hi writer nay mood kharab kar diya hai. Chalo bhai uttha le chalo.uttha kar dhyaan se............dhyaan se. Doga kay baad ab Nagraj aaya, Kaal pahailiya nay unpar bhi parchi lapetkar kuch fainka, Nagraj adrashya ho gaya. NAGRAJ - Mai tumhare bomb se bach gaya.

KAAL PAHAILIYA- Wo bomb nahi ball thi, peeche mudkar dekho tum clean bowled ho gaye. KOBI- Arre! kisne captain banaya tha isey? Iss tarah heroes team 60 run par 4 wickets kho chuki thi aur Doga retired hurt ho chuke thay. Ab maidaan mai aaye Parmanu. Kobi aur Parmanu ki jodi bhi tik kar khelne lagi. The Comical Cricket (Part 2 of 6)

PARMANU NAY SUSTATE HUEY PRINCIPAL KI TARAF SHOT KHELA, NAGPASHA - "Arre Principal dekh Parmanu run le raha hai....." PRINCIPAL- Chinta mat karo, isse to mai neend mai bhi out kar dunga......issi ki wagah se to neend nahi aati. PRINCIPAL NAY SATEEK THROW KIYA, SABKO YAKEEN THA PARMANU OUT HO CHUKA HAI.......PAR DEV KAALJAYI NAY THIRD UMPIRE KO REFER KIYA. AUR "GREEN LIGHT" NAY PARMANU KO JEEVAN DAAN DIYA. PRINCIPAL-Satyanaash! Third Umpire to Probot hai. BAUNA VAMAN - Ummm aaaahuhu! mai nahi khelta.......cheating! GARALGANT- Ruko mai sab theek kar dunga. Agli ball par "Garalgant" nay Parmanu ko out ghoshit kar diya. PARMANU - Par maine kya kiya ? GARALGANT - Tumne obstruct kiya hai fielder aur bowler ko,"obstructing the field, Out."

PARMANU - Par kaise,mai kisi fielder kay raaste mai nahi aaya. GARALGANT - Tumne jo saans li,uske "molecules" se hawa kay atoms mai disturbance paida ho gaya,iss wagah se fielder ka raasta ruka.Nahi samajh mai aaya naa.......Jao Probot se jakar samajhna. SEBBY - Heroes team kay 5 wickets ghus chuka hay 90 Runs payy, ab aa raha hay........Bhuchaal.... YODDHA -.......Bhokal.......Vikasnagar kay rakshak. SEBBY - Bhoolaal nay aakar chuaka maara........ YODDHA - Aur khushi mey wo apne aabhushan maidaan mey khade shetrarakshako mai baant rahe hai..........

KAALPAHAILIYA - Hey...loot lo......Raja Bhokal ki jai!! Baaki koi out ho jaaye par inhe out mat karna. Inhe looli-pooli ball karvao. Wahi dressing room mey, INS. STEEL DOBARA JUDD CHUKA THA. PROF. ANEES - Dekho Ins. Steel, mai tumhe 536 baar jood chuka hu, Iss baar agar tum tute to tumhare tukdo ko "villians museum" mai baich dunga. SEBBY - Aur ab Bhopal ko bowling karane aa rahe hai khud Kaalpahailiya.... KAAL PAHAILIYA - Lijiye maharaj......ghuma kay maariye..... UMPIRE GARALGANT - "Underarm bowling" allowed nahi hai. KAAL PAHAILIYA - Haan, to "No baal" bol do naa.....Maharaj ye kya ghuma kay maariye dariye mat koi catch nahi karega. Aisa kijiye aap hi fielders ki position set kar dijiye. BHOKAL- Haan, ye theek hai....sab jan baith jaiye. UMPIRE GARALGANT - Lekin........

KAAL PAHAILIYA - Tumse kaha naa ki "No ball" bol dena, dekhte nahi Maharaj khel rahe hai. Iss baar mujhe wo kada de dijiye maharaj. SEBBY - Mahalala Bhopal apne ornaments distribute karte hue, aur maidaan mai aa rahe hai Ins. steel. INS. STEEL - Bhokal, you are under arrest. KAAL PAHAILIYA - Underarrest!! apna underwear sambhaal kar baat karo. Kya kiya hai humare Maharaj nay ? INS. STEEL-Bhokal public mai "matchfixing" kar rahe hai......aap sabhi fielders ko bhi arrest karu kya ? KAAL PAHAILIYA - Kya.....nahi.....nahi......Aye! Bhokal sharam kar sharam kar.....Besharam...hum sharifo ko bhi bigaad raha hai. Le jao isse Inspector! BHOKAL BHI JAA CHUKE THAY.......AB MAIDAAN MEY UTRE DHRUV.

The Comical Cricket (Part 3 of 6)

Kobi - Dhruv tum apni mundi jhuka kar kyu aa rahe ho....kuch shameshame waala kaam kar diya kya ? Dhruv - Nahi, Kobi, ek stand mey Natasha baithi hai, doosre mey Richa aur saamne commentary box mey Sebby hai. Ground mey aate waqt jiss taraf bhi dekhunga to baaki sides se bottles aur kya pata bombs ki barsaat ground par hi naa honay lage. Dhruv nay ball ko gap mey place kiya aur daud laga di.....doosra run poora karne kay saath hi. Dhruv - Oofff....hafff...Paani....paani....koi paani laao....glucose mila hua laana.

Kobi - Dhruv, ek baat batao. Dhruv - Haan, puchho. Kobi - Tumhari saari energy tumhare dimaag mey chali jaati hai kya ? 12th Man Aghori Dhruv kay liye paani lekar aaya. Dhruv - Mommy...Bhoot.....ye kiski side waala 12 man aa gaya. Thak kar chuur ho chuka Dhruv behosh ho gaya usse bahar le jaaya gaya. Turant hi Shakti maidaan mey agli ballebazin kay roop mey aa gayi. Shakti nay aate hi shots ki barsaat kar di aur uski running between the wickets ke to kya kehne Replay mey 1 hi second mey wo dono taraf dikh rahi thi par Kobi itni jaldi strike change nahi kar paa raha tha. Kobi - Shakti......fooooff....ram....aaram se daudo....average ki chinta mat karo mai hun naa.....aur runs to utne hi gine jaayenge naa jitni baar hum dono strike change karenge....arre koi paani bhejo.....Aghori nahi.....koi aur bhejiyo. Shakti - Mai aisa karti hun ki pehle mai khud doosri side par pahunchti hun phir tumhe utthakar side paar karva deti hun. Mujhe ye sab karne mey 1 second ka kuch hi hissa lagega. Kobi Shakti ki iss baat par raazi ho gaya aur Shakti jaldi jaldi score ko badhane lagi. Kobi- Aaram se.....gudgudi kyun kar rahi ho......pait se haath to hatao....tumhare baal naak mey ghus rahe hain....aaiii....mera pair....mera pair ghisat raha hai......... Kobi kay shareer ki badbu se Shakti ko nasha chadne laga aur ek cheenk kay saath hi Kobi ko toofani gati se lekar daudti Shakti beech pitch par gir padi.

Kobi- Udhar....udhar throw karo....Bauna Vaman...meri fifty hone waali hai. Jaldi se score ko badha rahi Shakti hi khatra lag rahi thi Vilians ko isliye Shakti ko hi runout kiya gaya. Abhi din nahi dhala tha isliye maidaan par Anthony ki jagah King aaya. Umpires nay nirdesh diye ki King ek bachcha thaisliye bowlers King ko under arm aur dheemi gati se bowling karenge. Bhanja- Ye kaun sa family bussiness chal raha hai yahan....Bachche se batting karva lo aur Nana se fielding....wo to udd udd kay aur teleport hokay fielding karega....kaash humse bhi koi shaadi kar leti to humare potey bhi khelte. Strike Kobi ko mili aur usne ball Nagpasha ki taraf nudge ki....aur har baar ki tarah Nagpasha nay misfielding ki jis kaaran Kobi ki fifty poori ho gayi aur wo stands mey baithey Fujo Baba aur Bheriya ko chhidane laga. Kobi- Ye..fifty poori.....oye.....Phat De Chadde....Bheriya ye le le King....

Uncle, "Phat de Chadde" nahi "Chak de Phhate" bolte hain.

Kobi- Oh....Sorry!

The Comical Cricket (Part 4 of 6)

Kobi ki merathon paari aur Shakti kay shaandaar prayaaso se Super Heroes ka score 138 Runs tak pahunch chuka tha. Ab King bhi apne johar dikha raha tha aur runs mey badhotri kar raha tha. King ka strike rate aur Runs Kobi se zyada naa ho jaayein isliye Kobi doosre chhor se King ka bahut hi kum saath de raha tha. King - Uncle, daudiye naa....aur aap har over ki last ball par hi kyu run

lete hai ? Kobi - Beta, iske baad koi batting karne nahi aayega sab ya to out ho chukein hai ya retired hurt....aaram se khelo....abhi to sirf 20 Overs huey hain....30 Overs bache hai. Sensible Cricket is the need of the hour. King - Oh! OK, Uncle. Ye aakhri wicket ki partnership issi tarah aage badhti rahi. Kafan - Mai jaanta hun ki ye one day match hai par koi Paari ghoshit karva do mai 1 mahine tak apradh nahi karunga. Nagpasha - Tumhara apradh? Uss se koi fark thode hi padega....5-10 bachcho ki lollipop, chocolates chhin ney se bach jaayengi...bas. Score ab 200 runs ho chuka tha aur Villians kheme ki chinta badhti jaa rahi thi. Tantana - Mai King ko toffees, phal....aur naa jaane kitne laalach de chukan hun. Ye kuch sunta hi nahi....upar se gussa dikha raha hai. Bhanjaa - Dekho baat kya hai ki iska jo Nana hai naa usney parampara chala rakhi hai phoolo kay alawa naa koi gift dena hai naa lena hai aur jo iska gussa aur irritation hai wo to over the years "Crow Music" sun sunkar develop hua hai. Kobi, 99 Runs bana chuka tha aur Chak De Phhate ko mann hi mann bolne ki practice kar raha tha taaki Bheriya aur Fujo Baba ko achchi tarah chhida sake. Kobi nay apni Century poori karne kay liye aaram se ek shot khela par tabhi wo gusse se pitch chhodkar Ground ki boundary ki taraf daudne laga.....aur usko Professor Enviro dwara aaram se run out kar diya gaya. Sab Kobi kay iss vyavhaar se achambhit thay ki wo apni Century poori karne ki bajaye darshako mey baithey Bheriya ki taraf kyu badh raha tha.

Kobi sab se bekhabar gusse se daant peesta hua boundary laangh kar Bheriya tak pahunctha hai aur usse apne Bat se usse marne lagta hai aur saath hi Bheriya ko kossna to jaari tha hi. Kobi - #$!@#$@!$#@%%$.......Bheriye.....mera matlab Kuttey....mai wahan itni mehnat kar raha hun aur tu yaha aaram se Jane ki pappiyan le raha hai....chhod ye popcorn aur cold drinks....mey waha khelun aur tu inki aad mey yahan kisi doosre hi khel ko khel raha hai...Tere keede pade...tabhi mai kahun jab Fujo Budde tudde nay team mey khelne kay liye meri jagah teri sifarish ki to tune mana kyu kar diya...pucchiyaan jo leni thi bhaijaan ko. Par jab mere paas Gada hai to mai tujhe itni dair se Bat se kyu maar raha hun aur tu bhi dard honay ka natak kar raha hai ki mai apni divya gada ka aavahan naa karun....Hey Bheriya Devta madad....haan ab gada padne se teri dard se constitute genuine cheekhein nikalengi. Fujo Baba - Kobi, Ruk jaao. Kobi - Chup reh Budde Tudde..tu bhi maze le raha tha hain...Daant to tere jhadd gaye itna maarunga ki aant bhi mooh tak aa jayengi...rook nahi sakta tha inhe....zyada maza aa raha tha kya. Tu hi keh raha tha naa ki Bheriya, Kobi ki tulna mey zyada sanjeedgi se khelega isliye usse hi Heroes ki team mey hona chahiye...dekh liya ye kaun sa khel kitni sanjeedgi se khel raha tha! Fujo aur Bheriya ki pitaai jaari thi. Heroes ki poori paari 208 Runs par samapt ho gayi. Abhi unke 7 wickets hi gire thay par Doga, Dhruv, batting karne ki sthiti mey nahi thay aur Bhokal Rajnagar Police Station mey apne Abhushan baantkar riha honay ki kosish kar rahe thay. Jane ki taraf palta Kobi. Kobi- Jane Maine tumhe kya samjha aur tum...... aur jab mai Bheriya kay baare mey baat karta tha to kehti thi ki "We are just good friends." Humse bhi kar leti aisi friendship. Yaha itni bheed mey......aur mujhe to akele mey bhi kabhi puchchi nahi di.

Tabhi, "Chhan se jo toota koi sapna...... ....Jag suna suna laage......Jag suna suna laage re....." Kobi - Mohit, aur koi character nahi mil raha hai kya.....achchha...ye gaana to band karo.....dekho mere alawa sab ro rahein hai.

Comical Cricket (Part 5 of 6)

Villians ki paari ki shuruat hui. Batting karte waqt ghayal heroes ki haalat ab sudhar chuki thi aur wo fielding karne aa chuke thay, Jail mey bandh Bhokal ko chhodkar. Mahamanav aur Tantana opening kay liye maidaan kay beech mey aa chuke thay. Shakti ki toofani veg se aati inning ki pehli hi gaind Mahamanav kay sar par lagi. Mahamanav tunakkar sabhi Heroes kay dimaag mey telepathy se gaali dene laga. "Kamino....kuttto...tum sab haar jaaoge." Kobi - Andar se kaisi aawaz aa rahi hai? Kya ghus gaya mere andar.....buddhe tudda meri maar se mar to nahi gaya kahin ? Mahamanav ki aawaz phir Kobi kay andar gunji. "Bhootni kay!" Kobi - Kaun hai be, Pretni kay ? Mahamanav Kobi ka jawab sunkar aage koi gaali dene ki himaat nahi karta hai. Strike Tantana ko milti hai aur wo Shakti ki lagatar 4 balls par sixer jadd deta hai. Ye dekhkar Shakti pareshaan ho gayi. Kobi - Maine suna tha koi bahut bolta rehta tha "Nirbhay ho jaao."

Phir Shakti nay gusse mey ball ko bahut tez veg se fainka aur hawa kay itne zyada garshan se ball garam ho gayi aur Tantana kay rubber jaise lachile shareer ko chhed kar wicket udda diye. Tantana Clean Bowled ho gaya. Shakti (Kobi ki taraf dekhte huey) - Maine suna hai ki koi "Hey Bheirya Devta, Madad" bolkar bhi apni girlfriend tak ko nahi bacha paata.

Tantana - Haay! maar daala, Pehle bata deti to Hit wicket ho jaata kum se kum itna dard to naa hota. Idhar Inspector Steel, Mahamanav kay paas pahunch jaata hai. Inspector Steel - Mahamanav, You are under arrest. Doga - Yaar, iss Steel ko koi bimaari hai kya ? Mahamanav - Kyu, maine kisi ko kuch kaha thode hi hai jo mai arrest kay andar ho jaaun ? Inspector Steel - Tumne telepathy technique se sabhi players ko gaali di hai mere yantro nay tumhe trace kar liya hai. Tantana aur Mahamanav eksaath maidaan se rukhsat huey. Unki jagah aaye Mechanik aur Kafan. Doga - Arre, Shakti, zara sunna. Shakti - Haan, kaho. Doga - Idhar ki fielding bhi kar do. Shakti - Par udhar to tum log lage ho. Kobi - Speed itni tez hai par nakhre tab bhi dikhaane hai....mai to pehle hi keh raha tha Doga ye maanegi nahi.....Hey Bhagwan.....team

spirit to hai hi nahi iss ladki mey. Kafan nay ball ko Nagraj ki taraf place kiya par Kobi aur Doga ki baaton se josh mey aa gayi Shakti nay tezi se ball ko utthakar 1 second kay 1000ve hisse mey dono wickets se gilliyon ko udda diya. Tab tak dono Batsmen ek doosre ko cross nahi kar paaye thay wo dono beech pitch par ek hi jagah par thay isliye umpire ko dono ko out dena pada. Mechanik - Inspector Steel, Tiranga, kay villian hone kay yahi side effects hai. Khud to wo nikamme hai hi humey bhi unki wajah se kahin footage nahi milti. Kafan - Ek Minute, Umpire. Umpire Garalgant - Haan, Kafan, bolo. Kafan - Mai jo sher likh kar laaya tha wo to mai sunakar hi jaaunga. Villians Team kay 27 runs par 3 wickets gir chuke thay aur Mahamanav, Bhokal ki tarah 'Arrest Out' ho chuke thay. kuch minutes baad. Maidaan par ek baar phir 2 naye batsmen Kaal Pahailiya aur Bhanja kay roop mey eksaath aaye. Kaal Pahailiya ko Doga kay naye over ka saamna karna tha. Kaal Pahailiya - Aaja mujhe out kar le....thainga le le. Doga ball karta hai aur Kaal Pahailiya poori shakti se bat ghuma deta hai. Bat aur ball ka sampark hota hai par wo chhota aur halka bat rooke nahi rukta hai aur Kaal Pahaliya Bat leke wickets mey ghus gaya...unko Hit wicket out diya gaya. Kaal Pahailiya - Ek minute......ye saajish hai, Umpire......mujhe jaanboojh kar Bauna Vaman ka chhota, halka, Bat diya gaya hai....mere out honay ka shrey Doga ko bilkul nahi milna chahiye.

The Comical Cricket (Part 6 of 6)

Ab Kaal Phailiya ki jagah aate hai Villians Team kay catpain, Nagpasha. Strike Bhanja ko milti hai. Raat honay par King ki jagah Anthony wicket keeper kay roop mey khada tha. Bhanja - Door reh mujhse, Badbudaar shaitan.....paas aaya to Balla ghuma kay maarunga. Umpire iske kauve ko pinjre mey bandh karva do....flood light par iss taak mey baitha hai ki Bowler ball karaye aur wo mere mooh pey jhapatta maar de. Match mey badha naa pade isliye Prince ko khud Anthony hi pinjre mey bandh kar deta hai. Prince (Anthony se) - Iss baar jaiyo kabr mey....phir naa bulane ka mai tujhe. Bhanja Kobi ki agli ball par ek unncha shot maarta hai aur ball bilkul seedhi bahut unnchai par pahunch jaati hai. Sabhi Heroes aur Shakti eksaath kehte hai. "Kobi out karo Bhanja ko." Kobi ball par se dhyaan hatakar Bhanja ko pooch se utthakar maidaan kay bahar uchaal deta hai. Kobi - Lo, ho gaya wo 'Out' aur sab kehtein hai ki Kobi kisi ki sunta nahi....ab khush? Bhanja ki kaafi dair tak koi khabar nahi aati. Isliye ab maidaan mey Professor Enviro aata hai. Nagpasha aur Professor Enviro bahut hi dheemi gati se run banate hai aur 19 overs mey Villians team apne 50 runs poore karti hai. Nagpasha - Enviro, zordaar baarish kar do...Match raddh ho

jaayega....phir hum kal ek nayi shuruat karenge. Professor Enviro - Mai bhi yahi baat kab se keh raha tha. Enviro maidaan par toofani musladhaar barsaat karva deta hai. Professor Enviro - Ha ha ha...mujhe koi nahi rook saktaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! Enviro apne hi toofaan mey udd jaata hai. Maidaan se paani sukhane mey samay lag jaata hai aur kaafi samay barbaad ho jaata hai. Jis wajah se ab Vilians kay lakshya ko 'Duckworth Lewis' padhati se revise kiya jaata hai jo ab 150 runs tha. Ab Villians ko 5 Overs mey 100 Runs banane thay. Tantana, Kaalpahailiya, Mechanik, Kafan kay roop mey unke 4 wickets gir chuke thay aur Mahmanav, Enviro aur Bhanja ab waapsi ki sthiti mey nahi thay. Ab maidaan par utarta hai Principal. Idhar Vilians kay Pavallion mey. Big Boss (12th man) - Mai to jaa raha hun, Vaman, tum bhi chalo. Bauna Vaman - Kyu, abhi to hum log jeet saktein hai. Big Boss - Jaanta hai ye log abhi tak kyu khel rahein hai ? Bauna Vaman - Nahi...Kyu ? Dekho ye Nagpasha, Gurudev aur Principal itne dheet villians hai ki jab tak inki bhhat nahi pit ti aur mooh pe thhapad, ghunse, laat nahi bajte tab tak inhe asli haar ki feeling hi nahi aati hai. Nagpasha nay Duckworth Lewis lagva di.....ab kuch nahi ho sakta. Wo dekh Kobi boundary kay paas khada hokar hume chhidane kay liye fans se "Phat De Chadde!" kay posters banva raha hai. Big Boss kay saath Bauna Vaman nay beizzati se bachne kay liye palayan behtar samjha. Villians ekadash ka ek player baithe bithaye kum ho gaya tha. Ab bas Wonderwoman bachi thi.

Principal aur Nagpasha apni team ki dasha dekhkar vichlit nahi huey aur dono Nagraj aur Dhruv kay 2 Overs mey lagatar 12 chhake maare. Jis se unko 72 runs miley. Commando Force aur Nagdweep se aaye praniyon nay stadium khaali kar diya. Kareem ki khusfusahat par Kaaldoot bhi raazi huey. Kaaldoot - Sahi baat hai, Kareem! Ab har jagah Anupam ji thode hi aayenge in dono kay liye. Bhaag lo kahin bheed inka badla hum sab par na nikale. Ab Villians ko jeet kay liye 3 Overs mey 28 runs chahiye thay. Phir Principal nay Parmanu kay over mey bhi lagtaar 4 chhake maare. Ab Villians ko 15 balls par sirf 4 runs chahiye thay. Parmanu - Ye dono Yuvraj Singh kay relation mey aate hain kya ? Anthony - Bhai, tu apni belt Anadi ko daan kar de. Kobi (Boundary paar maujood fans se) - Arre, suno. Ye posters chhupa lo kahi Villians hi hume chhidane naa lag jaayein. Parmanu agli ball karvata hai. Tiranga aakash mey ek santulit koond (angle) se flair chhodta hai. Flair ki chamak Principal kay takle sar se reflect hoti hai aur Nagpasha ko theek ball khelte waqt distract kar deti hai. Nagpasha Clean Bowled ho jaata hai. Sabhi Tiranga ko shabashi dene lagte hai. Tabhi Inspector Steel heroes ko ek taraf hata deta hai. Doga - Lo, pad gaya daura bimaar ko. Inspector Steel - You are under arrest, Tiranga ? Parmanu - Yahan Cricket chal raha hai inn bhaijaan ka saath-saath mey pakdam pakdai ka khel alag chal raha hai. Ab iski wajah bhi bata do. Inspector Steel - Tiranga apne flair se sthaniye Police ko bulata hai...aur mujhe pata chal raha hai ki Tiranga kay flair signal ki wagah se paas kay Police thane se kuch police waale apna important Ludo

ka game chhodkar aayein hai jisme wahan bache munshi nay ab tak cheating kar li hogi. Nagraj - O my God! ye tumne kya kar diya Tiranga. Arrest him, Inspector. Ab maidaan mey aati hai Vilians ki aakhri bachi hui Batswomen, Wonderwoman. Wonderwoman - Aise kyu ghur rahe ho, Kobi, log kya kahenge ? Kobi - Hum to aapko nazro se salaam hai dete, Ghurne ki aukat hai kya...log to bhare stadium mey paapiyan tak hai le lete. Wonderwoman Wonderwoman aate hi Kobi ki taraf shot uchhalti hai jisse Kobi jaan boojh kar chhod deta hai aur iska faayda utthakar Principal aur Wonderwoman 3 runs le lete hain aur dono teams ka score barabar ho jaata hai. Dhruv - Ye kya kiya Kobi, pagal....catch chhod diya. Kobi - Pyaar ki raah par chalne waale hamesha diwane kehlaaye, Ek catch chhodne par dutkarte ho zalim, Tab to tumne shabashi nahi di thi jab humne team kay 208 mey se 99 runs banaye. Wonderwoman - Subhanallah. Ab Kobi ka over aata hai. Wonderwoman uska saamna kar rahi hoti hai. Villians ko jeet kay liye 2 Overs mey keval 1 run chahiye tha aur Heroes ko 1 wicket ki darkaar thi. Wonderwoman - Teri bholi baaton mey apne aap beh jaati hun, Tune pyaar mey mera catch chhoda....O diwane, le tere pyaar mey mai khud hi 'Hit wicket' ho jaati hun. Wonderwoman nay bade pyaar se

balla wickets par maarkar khud ko 'hit wicket' out kar liya. Kobi - Chalo Rani apne pyaar kay afsaane banaye, Sabse pehle chalkar Buddhe Tudde, Bheriya aur Jane ko jalaye. Iss tarah ye Heroes aur Villians kay beech hua ye etihaasik match barabari (Tie) par chhuta. Kobi ko unke "bahumukhi" pradarshan kay liye Man of the match ka award mila. .........Kahani Khatm, 25 Rupaye huey Bau ji!

7) – Helpless Nagraj!

Doga - Hello, Dhruva. Tum mujhe sun rahe ho. Dhruva - Ya man, reading ya....carry on!! Doga - Nagraj ki beizzati karane aur uski khilli udaane ka sunehra avsar. Dhruva - Kaise....quick...jaldi batao...mujhe saans nahi aa rahi excitement mey. Doga - Suno......{khusar pusar...}....Oh, he he...mai to pehle se hi transmitter par bol raha hun. Doga apna plan Dhruva ko sunata hai. Dhruva - You know something mate....you are a true real hardcore Doggie...and I love you for that!! To kya Anthony aur Inspector Steel ki bhi issi tarah beizzati karein?

Doga - Nahi yaar, wo dono ready made beizzat ho rahe hai saalo se....and as you said I am a real Doggie...isliye unhe chhod dete hai. Thodi dair baad....... Dhruva - Hello, Nagraj...aaj shaam ek bada charity show hai Rajnagar mey...poora media aur bade bade channels cover kar rahe hai....aa jaana.....aur zara style mey aana Bike pe. Nagraj - He he....aisi jagaho par to mai apne aap pahunch jaata hun. Aa jaaunga...batane kay liye Thanks. Ussi shaam Nagraj, Dhruva dwara batayi gayi jagah par kisi chor se chhini Super bike se aata hai. Nagraj - Sorry, everybody, I am late....mai jaanta hun aap log mera wait kar rahe honge..... Ek Reporter - Sir, aap late hai koi baat nahi...lekin aap yahan kya kar rahe hai? Dhuva - Dekho pehli baat to ye yahan late isliye pahuncha hai kyoki isse har traffic signal par rooka jaata hai.....Helmet nahi lagata ye....kahin iska hair style kharab naa ho jaaye.....bada "Dunk Waala Hunk" bana fhirta hai....Huh!! Aur iss social cause kay liye bahut se Superhero aaye hai to isse badi khujli mach rahi hogi naa sabke aage aa kar photos kheench waane ki jaisa ye Multistars kay ads aur covers mey karta hai. Besharm...Mahanagar se aaya hai.... Nagraj - Nahi aisi baat nahi hai....mai to yahan social cause mey madad karne pahuncha hun.... Doga - Ye Blood Donation Camp hai....aaja kar de donate apna zehreela blood....aaiyo madad kar de logo ki....kalyug hai bhagwaan....chhi chhi.....

Nagraj - Doga...Tu ek asli kutta hai.... Doga - Bhaiyon record kar lo iski baatein....mujhe vishwaas hai ki Bharti Communications kay alawa sabhi channels iske 'kutteypan' ko cover karenge. 2-4 gaaliyan aur de de....fhir Indian janta tujhe apne aap hamesha kay liye world tour par bhej degi. The End!

8) - Parmanu Khajoor to Fans Majboor Aaj subah se hi shehar mey khoob apradh ho rahe thay aur Parmanu nay Probot ko madad aur salah maang-maang kar pareshaan kar rakha tha. Probot - Parmanu, Kalka ji area mey Ulka gir gayi hai? Ulka mey se ek alien monster tabahi macha raha hai. Zyada jaankari nahi mil paa rahi hai kyoki wahan mere cameras kharaab hai. Parmanu - Ammm...Ulka ji kahan se udkar jaaun? Probot - Bas....chup...aisa kar Metro Train pakad le. Tu to Metro mey bhi kho jaayega....aisa kar kisi Three Wheeler Tempo waale ko Kalka ji naam lekar usme baith jaa....thode zyada paise lega par pahuncha dega.

Kuch dair baad. Parmanu - Probot...kya tum mujhe sun rahe ho? Probot - Kya tum Monster se lad rahe ho?

Parmanu - ....Nahi....Tempo waale se....mere paas paise kum pad gaye ab mujhe Tempo waala jaane nahi de raha.... Ye Parmanu ka bhagya tha ki Kalka ji mey apni Bua ji se milne duniya mey uska eklauta fan Mohit aa chuka tha. Mohit - Kya hua Three Wheeler waale bhaiya? Three Wheeler Rickshaw waala - Yaar ek to paise nahi de raha upar se "Mai Superhero hun", "Mai rakshak hun", keh kar kaan kha rakhe hai....aur keh raha hai ki Metro mey 15 lagte hai tum 20 le lo. Mohit nay bina mann se Parmanu ka kiraya chukaya. Parmanu - Thank you, Mohit. Mohit - Khush raho. Aage se dhyaan rakha karo. Tum to Hanif ji kay bina bhi waise hi ho. Mohit chala gaya. Kuch dair baad. Parmanu - Probot.....kya tum mujhe sun rahe ho? Probot - Kya hai bey? Tu ek baar aur madad maang kay dekh....mai speaker tod daalunga.....tab tujhe nahi sunuga. Parmanu - Monster se darr lag raha hai.....kuch madad karo. Mohit bhi chala gaya. Probot - YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Bhapppp!!!! Bhaiya, dekh paas mey hi Delhi kay Commissioner kay office ki khidki ka kaanch pathar maar kar tod de.....wo darpok

Commissioner Suraksha Chakra jala kar Tiranga ko bula lega....ya tere paas autograph lene kay liye khadi School Girls mey se kisi ki chutiya kheench kar uski cheekh nikalva de.....Shakti to aa hi jaayegi. Aur uske baad tu gayab ho jaa.....Reprint Section mey bhi mat dikhaai de jaaiyo. The End!

9) – Common Sense (Fighter Toads)
* (Ek joke se inspired)

Ek baar Fighter Toads Rajapur kay pehle Mall mey ghoomne mey jaate hai. Wahan Cutterr aur Shooterr har nayi cheez ko dekh kar Computerr se sawal kar rahe thay. Tanng aakar Computerr kehta hai ki "Itney saalo se insaano kay beech reh rahe ho tum dono, khud samajh lo.....common sense nahi hai kya?" Cutterr aur Shooterr chup ho jaate hai par common sense kya cheez hoti hai ye unhe pata nahi tha aur naa hi wo Computerr se poochna chahte thay. Isliye Cutterr nay gutter mey akeley teheltey Masterr se poocha. Cutterr - Ye common sense hoti kya cheez hai? Masterr - Ha ha ha, tuney Computerr ki baat dil par le li. Chhod jaane de. Cutterr - Nahi chhodunga, mujhe bata common sense kya hoti hai? Masterr - Duniya aur samaj se juddi sadharan cheezon aur baaton ko samajhne ki shamta ko common sense kehte hai.

Cutterr - Kya..kya...kya? Doordarshan waali aunty ki tarah nahi dhang se bata. Masterr - Dekh mai tujhe practically samjhata hun. Ye maine apna haath rakha gutter ki deewar par.......ab tu ispar zor se mukka maar. Cutterr - Nahi, talwar....talwar. Masterr - Jo keh raha hun wo kar. Cutterr mukka maarta hai aur Masterr deewar se apna haath hata leta hai. Cutterr kay haath mey halki chot lag jaati hai. Masterr - Dekha.....ye hoti hai common sense. Tuney mukka maara aur maine haath hata liya jiss se mere haath par chot nahi lagi. Cutterr - Haan yaar, mujhe thodi chot to lagi par samajh mey aa gaya ki common sense kya hoti hai. Thodi dair baad Cutterr jaan boojh kar 'Toad Nivas' kay bahar, andar baithey Computerr ko sunane aur dikhane kay liye zor zor se bol raha tha. Cutterr - Shooterr......mere bhai....koi samajhta hai ki akal sirf ussi kay paas hai....thoda bhaav kya de diya to Bollywoodi nakhre karne laga. Sun!!!! Shooterr - Sun to raha hun, magar tu chilla kyu raha hai? Cutterr - Ab mujhe bhi common sense ka matlab pata chal chuka hai. Mai tujhe wahi samjhane aaya hun. Shooterr - Achchha!!! Kya hoti hai? Ab tak Masterr aur Computerr bhi bahar aa gaye thay.

Cutterr - Ye maine haath rakha apne mooh par......... Masterr - Lekin Cutterr...... Cutterr - Nahi mere bhai aaj mujhe mat rook. Haan to Shooterr, ye maine haath rakha apne mooh par Shooterr maar ek mukka....nahi nahi....apna ek ghunsa baand. Shooterr - Cutterr.......mai. Cutterr - Haan tu.....maar apna sabse tagda ghunsa baand. Computerr - Cutterr, suno to..... Cutterr - Chup kar, nonsense. Maar Shooterr maar. Shooterr apna ghunsa baand chala deta hai aur Cutterr apne chehre se apna haath hata leta hai. Ghunsa baand zor se Cutterr kay mooh par padta hai. Cutterr - Dekha Computerr....isse kehte hai Common Sense. ......aur Cutterr behosh ho jaata hai. The End!

10) - The Lal 'loo' Way
Bacteria ki ek khatarnak 'Lalla' prajati kay bahut se sukshma jeev Nagraj kay shareer mey pravesh kar jaate hai aur dheere dheere Nagraj kay shareer ko andar se sadane lagte hai. Kuch dair baad unhe bahar maujood apne saathiyo se message milta hai.

"Abe, Lallo, tum log to gaye.....jaante ho kaha ghuse ho tum log....Nagraj kay shareer mey aur uske shareer mey manviye cells kay alawa sukshma sarp bhi hai jo kisi bhi parjeevi ko 24 ghante kay andar khatm kar dete hai." Ye message sunkar Nagraj kay shareer mey ghuse sabhi Lalla prajati kay sukshma sadasyo mey kohram mach gaya. Unme se ek bacteria 'Lalloo' nischint ghoom raha tha. Sabhi nay uski iss nischint ta ka kaaran poocha. Phir usne Nagraj kay Liver par bane asthai manch par chhadkar apne sabhi saathiyo ko samjhaya. Lalloo - Yaar, tum log lalle hi rahoge......ye batao ki ab time kya ho raha hai. Kahin se aawaz aayi. "Raat kay 2 baje hai." Lalloo - Aur Sukshma sarp hum tak 24 ghante se kuch pehle pahunchege. Isliye subah tak iss shareer mey khoob masti karo, mooh maaro, aish karo, rang raliya manao......aahaa kya readymade vishela, sada hua shareer hai....relax everybody. Sabhi nay poocha. "Kyu ?" Lalloo - Subah subah, 'Pakistan' mey 'agli flight' se bahar ho lenge. The End!

11) - Bachiye Bhokal
"Lejiye Mahabali Akhand Naad ka naya version maine install kar diya hai jisme aapko akhand naad bajane waale ka pata chal jayega.Parantu iska kya upyoog hai." Bhokal-Cool man.......Thanks,arre tum jaante nahi ho Kaareger ye VikasNagar waale maze lene kay liye kisi na kisi tarah "Akhand naad" bajakar mujhe pareshaan karte rehte hai. Kaareger-Lejiye,koi sundar stri Akhand naad baja rahi hai. Bhokal - Ooh, :O! Mai abhi jaata hu. Waha pahunchne par, Bhokal - Bolo sundari.........kya tum mujhse vivah karne aayi ho, actually mere divorce kay cases abhi pending hai isliye abhi tum thoda ruk jao. Visarpi - Kalmuhe......karamjale......sharam nahi aati itni shaadiya pehle kar rakhi hai aur kitni karega. Bhokal - Dekho mai autograph aur photograph sirf sabha mai deta hu. Viasrpi - Oye..........mai yaha ye sab karne nahi aayi hu. Bhokal - To kyu aayi ho Visarpi - Tujhe peetne..... VISARPI NAAGDAND AUR LAAT GHOONSO SE BHOKAL KO PEETNE LAGTI HAI.

Bhokal - Arre.......maar kyu rahi ho....accha waha paid kay peeche peet lo.....I am a celebrity in VikasNagar.....par batao to sahi maar kyu rahi ho Visarpi - Tumhari comics padh-padh kar Nagraj ka dimaag bhi kharaab ho gaya hai.........tumse inspired hokar shaadi pe shaadi kiye jaa raha hai.........mai uska pyaar thi par mujhse pehle hi 2 shaadi kar chuka hai.......aur ab to wo world tour par jaa raha hai wapas aayega to pata nahi kitni shaadiya kar chuka hoga. BHOKAL KO VISARPI NAY ACHI TARAH PEETA. ITNA PEETA KI WO "MAHABALI" SE "MOONGFALI" BAN GAYE. BHOKAL PIT KAR MAHAL PAHUNCHE. Dwarpaal- Oopsy! Kya hua Mahabali, aap chotil kaise ho gaye Bhokal-Kya batau ak chudail aa gayi thi....haye re........dekh kya raha hai mujhe andar chhodkar aa. KUCH DAIR BAAD AKHAND NAAD PHIR BAJA Bhokal - Mujhe koi chhupa lo......Aye! Darbaan teri ye gherdaar salwar type mujhe pehna de......phir aa gayi kya peetne wo… Dwarpaal - Moongfali......mera matlab Mahabali ye to VikasNagar ki janta hai. BHOKAL PHIR WAHA PAHUNCHA, Bhokal-Ye Viaks Nagar kay sabhi citizens yaha kyu gather hue hai

Chorus - "AAPKO PEETNE." Bhokal - Kyu............? Chorus - "WO HUM SAB AAPKO PEET-PEET KAR BATAYEGE." VIKASNAGAR VAASI BHOKAL KO PEETNE LATE HAI, Chorus-AAPNE YAHA VIKASNAGAR MAI JO DISCOES KHUVAYE HAI WAHA KAY D.J.s HAR 20 MINUTES MAI AK HI GAANA BAJATE HAI.DISCO LIGHTS AUR DANCE FLOOR BHI GHATIYA MATERIAL KA BANA HAI.....SEATS CHU-CHU BOOLTI HAI...........BARS MAI COCKTAIL MEY VARIETY HI NAHI HAI.YUVA LOG KHUL KAR MIL BHI NAHI SAKTE YAHA AAP LOG AUR JUNGLEO MAI KAAL KUNDALI JAISE VILLIANS BAITHE REHTE HAI.VALENTINES DAY PAR HUM LOGO KO DUSARE RAJYO MAI JAANA PADTA HAI.AAPNE APNE RATH MAI WOOFERS,AUR NITRO CYLINDERS LAGVA RAKHE AUR HUM LOGO KAY LIYE UNHE IMPORT KARVANE KI SUVIDHA NAHI DI HAI.MALLS AUR SUPERMARKETS KAVEL RAJGHARANE AUR CELEBRITIES KAY LIYE ACHCHE HAI.........WAHA HUM LOGO KO BILKUL BHI DISOUNT NAHI MILTA............AUR AAPKI RANIYA SABZIYA BHI WAHI SE KHAREEDTI HAI.RAJ COMICS FORUM PAR KOI AAPKI POOLL NA KHOOL DE ISLIYE AAPNE YAHA KE SAARE INTERNET CONNECTIONS KATVA DIYE HAI. MAARO......MAARO.............. The End!

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