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can I I love
a girl she
I loved at
since I when
was ten... I commit
mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...
She was my best friend and I have known her since we were pretty small. She for and her, knew all my that I love also she but way secrets, which her the sees not life only and way she reveals my she's at could laughs I feelings because love.
smart and the
still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched came it a approaching family. I and noticed to a family station when wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out was about glance away came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.
This used to be our hide out. "Well I like your name. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved hand. "Would you like to come up?" she answered. play ball and go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said. my name's Sam. what's yours?" I answered. "Thanks! Troy and I made this. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one.She early was age four she years was old a that to time She her but had make then long She a even curly had at an fair his tree in beauty. we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. which reached and up almost eyes and I waist. waved watched amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. "By the way. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know. "It's a deal then!" So that's how it started." She smiled and said "I'm here now. "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said. I continued to watch her when suddenly saw me watching back and them then house window. We used to goof around. complexion she looked her could man in lose the heart into them." She smiled and said. "My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." Then she held her hand and said. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge . which hair. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said. "Well that sounds good enough.
Somehow. As years went by. the the big two We oak of would tree. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. It made me like her even more. I could still remember talked to the Mr. The lake was our favorite hang out. swimming in the lake and climbing trees. time when she hit the window to pay of for our the neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who Chambers and promised I fell damage. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. us pack There food was and a later and eat tell them in each special branch could sit together other's dreams. I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. We had our Saturday swim under which routine. but then she tried and did everything just to please me. I remembered the time when tears when I she even saw fought the off the tree when I kitten tough trapped guy when in a tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to helpless the branch.her like catching frogs. which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I thought it was just a . with they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she gave placed it a an ice bag over I the did damaged everything eye to and please later her get-well kiss. and gave everything her little heart desires.
Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how think I feel that about I'm her. I want to punch their noses as I talking giving compliments. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden. I was scared because of her she might our taking advantage and friendship. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge. to dreaming be with of her her all and the having time. But when I started thinking about her at night. to my heart wherever see boys glance her way. something that made me feel strange.simple crush case. I the feeling it of wanting thought was something different. but then it was exhilarating feeling. Whenever our hands touch. It made me feel so alive. I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. I was . flowers and chocolates. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. We reached the age of fifteen How her and I noticed aches that Sam I grew watch lovelier them each day. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend. I had the feeling of not wanting to let go.
convince myself that it was just a rumor. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. a popular senior. my wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was that days inside because seeing where another days saddest life." Then one faithful day they broke up. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she . As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her. Then one day. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon. Her boyfriend was Mark. being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. She. eyes with the I saw pain of her I'm guy. first. a I just learned At from I a friend tried to that she already had boyfriend.also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. who was the heartthrob of the campus. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. I watched her with scared feeling Those my heart she that slowly might followed breaking see of in into my her the pieces.
"Well I just thought I would like to spend that night Then she continued in a whisper with my best friend. I once lost her. "I love her". "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. At that time. It took me awhile to answer her. . we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said. "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. spending time tree house.is crying her heart out just for him. "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart. We… we're silent for a while until I finally whispered. So we found ourselves doing what we did in old in days our with our Saturday swim routine. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more." I could barely hear. now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her. "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. It was a week from our JS Prom.
Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. It was like a dream there coming dancing true. with a the moment only girl of I enchantment. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying. I went to fetch Sam. Our Prom night came. I wanted to tell . Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. "To the loveliest girl in the whole world.I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Then I led her to the dance floor. ever loved. Then I They were her replaced hand with tuxedos said. "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. and gowns. you held out bowed and "Would give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment." She then asked. "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!”I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more. as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I was was She smiling up to me. "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with voice. her hair I flowing but her got around found hand her out face. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I was talking to her father when I heard her say. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. I I stood not the up find and my opened my Then mouth could shakily fastened corsage around her wrist and whispered. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face.
and I would for my rather me than hope have to crush left hear and in my ignorance those heart of her I true words didn't feelings feel from dreaded break. for where I she was the but she told me that she doesn't know. she nodded and so I went to get one. but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. In the hallways. Since that night. reached garden. They were so close to each other that I could never white describe dress the feeling Sam I had when I recognized night. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. but still haven't done it. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but . I As asked I was her friend. I came close to telling her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I would not see her if she comes into our house. return her calls. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness. I the just that was wearing that turned and left the gymnasium. she was gone. Katie. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table. I avoided her.that she was the most beautiful girl that night. her. We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink. So I went to search for searching her.
I wanted to hug her at that moment. I was accepted at the university. As the program ended. As she stared at me. to tell Each her achievement I have was done for her.then I thought that was the best way to forget her. I thought that if I successful day. As I got off the plane. tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me. The day of our graduation came. desperate to get to her house . So I moved out the next day as I planned. there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. I tried hard not to think of her but will her. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I'm worthy of having It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride. would that I love her and by that time. I went home directly. Luckily. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. still be I could not one stop myself I from be loving able her. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. she approached me and handed me a rose.
Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me. Then Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. As we were walking. with the same oak tree. "There's Sam. "Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. I reached their house. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. Sam and I used to climb up. I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon . Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. She then whispered. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her." I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. I kind of miss her you know." I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. to hug her. It was still the same as I left it. I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. I then asked.desperate to see her. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Sam.
she also asked me to give you this. opened shaking hands and reading. ****************************** I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. dated month. she never stopped thinking about you. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. even though she sick. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you... I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried Then orchid at I the from the I it corsage saw with a I gave her It for was our prom..wake "It up." She handed me a parcel and with that she left. been but week since Leukemia.. last started bottom letter.. something I kept from you all these years. was with She her died eyes of searching for explanations and she slowly started saying. I love you Chris. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my . By the way. I have always loved you even from the start. not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. It was even your name she uttered before she died... has I stared a at Jenny in disbelief she died. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside.
was like a dream coming true. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying. for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. you held me close to you. When our prom night came. I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me . I may how I feel. I tell you. While we were dancing. you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. but I just did that to make you jealous. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint.side. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. sound selfish but that's Each time. to make you see me as a young woman. I know you might be thinking of Mark. When you were away. my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. I just want you all to myself.
but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. I was scared that you might see us talking. I and just searching concluded that you saw us together. when I approached you. ************************************ . In our Graduation day. I felt the world crushing on me. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden.: Think of me sometimes. Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late.. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance. The next day..too but you NEVER did.S. What later happened learned next that was you that were I found you for missing me. I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. So I just turned away and left. P.
I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall.” . I love her more than anything in this world.I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. if not as much. "Oh God. but more than she did for me. I continued crying softly and whispered. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her. send my love to heaven.
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