Returned with Honor

Identification
Name (first, middle, last) Home Street Address City Height

Returned Missionary Dating Application

Due to the overwhelming demand for returned missionaries, this form has been established in an effort to qualify the prospective candidates. This form must be filled out by all desiring dating privileges to returned missionaries. Complete cooperation is requested in filling out this form. Use only correct and pertinent information. If any additional help is required due to underqualification, comestibles and photos are accepted as bribes. Please remember 2 Nephi 9:34 while filling out this form. Information of Returned Missionary This section is to be filled out by returned missionary
Returned missionary’s name (First, MI, Last) Name of mission served Years Served Time since return Favorite Color

19 to 19 Type or print all requested information using black or blue ink
Date of Birth(month, day, year) Are you:

mo.
Under 16

yrs.
Gender

Over 21
Email address ST Zip code Were you:

Under 21

Under 18
Home Phone

Still in primary
Work Phone

M

F

?

(
Weight (please be honest, this is Color of hair
confidential)

)
Marital Status

(

)

Born Adopted Hatched Kidnapped Found on front porch Government reject Fell from sky Other_____________________________
Ring size
(VERY important)

Natural color of hair Eye color

Single

Engaged

Other (if other, tear up form)

Family Background
Do you live with your parents? Yes

No

If yes, is there enough room for you to continue living If you do not live with parents, where do you live? there after marriage? Yes No Can they be bribed? Yes Do you have any royal blood? If yes:

Is your refrigerator always If no, why stocked? Yes No

Do you have smaller brothers or sisters?

Yes

No

No With what
How about horse thieves? WWF Wrestlers?

How much
Crazed 6-foot Albanian Dwarfs?

For how long
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Is there a history of mental illness in your family? Yes No Is your Father friendly?

Yes

No

Yes

No

Yes

No

Does he own a gun? If yes, what caliber? Has he ever used Is he a: it? Yes No Yes No

Yes No Yes No Yes No Good Shot Fair Shot Poor Shot Expert Shot Deadly Shot Big Shot Cheap Shot Rabies Shot 3-point Shot

Does your dad give temple reccomend interviews to your dates?

Yes

No

Do your parents approve of returned missionaries? Yes No Do you want to be sealed there as well? Yes What kind?

If no, why? Any weird additional information about your family:

If parents are sealed, in which temple were they sealed? Do you have a dog? How big?

No
Does he bite? Does he have his shots? Can he be out-run?

Yes

No
Is your testimony:

Yes

No

Yes

No

Yes

No

Ever tried feeding peanut butter or bubble gum to a dog? Yes No

Personal Information
Have you ever seen the C.E.S. video “Godly Sorrow” about the girl who can’t go to the temple? Yes No Do you go to church:

Good Fair Poor Weak How often do you bear On a seperate page, please write your testimony (not thank-a-mony or travel-log) Strong Changeable None your testimony? Every week Every other week Three times a month Once a month *Would you like to know more about the LDS church, eternal families and other fun stuff? Yes No Twice a year Wouldn’t be caught dead there Never heard of it*
What callings have you had? G.P.A. Sense of humor: If illiterate, please provide name of the person filling this out.

Are you a seminary graduate? Did you recieve your Young Woman’s or Eagle scout (as applicable) award? Yes No Yes No Did you graduate from: Do you:

Grade School Trade School Gossip Please easily Snore Stay Mad No

Jr. High High School School name for highest education achieved, major, and year of College Charm school graduation Are YOU also a returned Anger easily Any other shortcoming? missionary? Yes No Covet easily
For how long? Monthly income

Fair Grin

Hilarious Chuckle

Giggly Dead

Are you presently employed? Where?

Yes

Would this meager income support me in the manner to which I have become accustomed to? Yes No

Number, in order your first ____ Big Mac ____Steak and Lobster ____Hot Dogs ____Seafood ____Pizza ____Peanutbutter Sandwiches ____Top Ramen ____Macaroni and Cheese ____Corn 8 favorite dishes: ____Mexican food ____Low/Non fat stuff ____Cultural dishes from the mission field ____Tuna fish ____Chocolate Cake ____Spam ____Other:__________________ Can you cook? How Well? (1-10) What do you like to cook? Would you consider submitting a sample? Yes No Yes No Can you Sew? How Well? (1-10)

Yes

No

Do you make your own clothes? Yes No

Do you wear your own Can you cut hair? Can you play the piano? clothes? Yes No Yes No Yes No

Any other useful talents?

Do you dress mostly in:

Dresses Sleeveless

If you had a choice between elegant and casual clothing, which would you prefer? If yes, why? What is your favorite reading material? Favorite Color Do you drink? If yes, which?

Skirts Blouses Sweaters Pants Turtle neck T-shirts Elegant What color of lipstick do you Casual prefer? Scripures Friend

Polo shirts Suit & Tie Yes No

Shorts Whatever’s Clean! Light

Do you dress modestly? If no, Why?

Yes

No
Is it very necessary?

Do you use makeup? If so, how much?

Medium

Heavy

Caked on

Yes

No

Languages in addition to english that you speak: Which form of literature do you read? Favorite TV Show

Ever heard of the commitment pattern? Yes No

Novels S.I. or G.Q.

Classics Mad Mag.

Comic Books Tracting pamplets
Are you:

Cosmo type mags Tabloids
Favorite form of recreation

New Era Internet stuff

Favorite Sport

Yes Yes

No No

Water Root Beer Milk Diet Coke Hot Chocolate Coke Other (please specify)_________________________________________ Sprite
If no, why not? If over 12, why?

Soft spoken Loud spoken Spoken for Other ______________________________________

Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? How many children do you want and expect to have?

If under 4, why?

In light of our priesthood leader’s council for longer courtships and shorter engagements, What is your idea of a perfect honeymoon? length of engagement preferred: (If over 6 months, tear up form) Will you be available on this date? ____/ _____/ ____ Fair Would you mind if your engagement ring was just a simple gold band? Yes No Your personality: Excellent Good (if no, please give this form to someone who will) Yes No Poor Bad N/A (the bretheren have advised against debt) In what occupation would you prefer your Are you willing to put your Spouse How do you feel about Pres. Benson’s exortation that women stay at Will you support your spouse in his/her Spouse? through school? Yes No home, raise kids and not work? Like it Don’t like it callings? Yes No

Dating
___Dinner ___Movie ___Dance ___Concert ___Go tracting ___Bowling ___Swim ___Talk ___Picnic ___Walk ___Watch tv ___Study ___Cuddle ___Miniature golf ___Party ___Other______________________ Do you close your eyes Do you kiss on Yes No Yes One eye Do you cover your mouth when you yawn When kissing Breathless Pass out do you get: your first date? or sneeze? Depends on the person when you kiss? Yes No Neither eye Speechless Passionate Do you use mouthwash? If so, what kind? Do you feel it is important that your Dating transportation Truck Moped Rolls Royce B.M.W. date has a car? VW bug Geo metro Yes No Yes No preferred: Bike Mercedes
If selected, list in order of preference what you would like to do on your first/next date:

Miscellaneous Information Pertinent to my salvation
Do you have a boyfriend/ Weight girlfriend? Yes No Height Is he/ she a:

Heavyweight Karate expert

Light weight Wimp

Feather weight Eats stuff raw

Really big stupid person who found this and is reading it

Conclusion
This is your time, dear sister or brother, to remark on anything that you feel would be of interest to “The Judge.” In 100 words or more, give reasons why you want to date a returned missionary. Also a brief description of yourself including personality, interests, etc. All photos and any other bribes such as cookies, candy, home cookin’, and any other goodies will be used primarily in classifying your application, and to boost the morale of the returned missionary. Each application will receive the upmost consideration.
Please place drop of your favorite perfume:

Place imprint of lips in space provided:

Place picture here

Date taken and occasion________________________________________

I hereby certify that all the questions have been honestly and sincerely answered, to the best of my ability (especially the weight question).

Signature
Chris Bair July 1998 (please email me at chris.bair@usa.net) this would be copywrited (©), but I stole the idea myself and re-did it. feel free to copy it to complete the first commandment given to the children of men.

Date:
7/98 Printed in USA 38975 000