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THE FIRST SIGHT Chapter I
Just as I dismiss Claude Bastille, he turns on his heels at the door and grins “Golf, this week, Grey,” he says, rubbing in the fact that he can kick my butt in the golf course as well. He’s one of the best mixed martial arts instructors there is, and trains me very well as he should since I pay him well for his instructions. He kicks my butt on the matt often as expected though I give him a run for his money. He was an Olympic contender. I’ve been working out with him every day in the last two months since I have to spend all my excess energy. Although he used to kick my butt five days a week before that. I reserved other kinds of work out for the weekends. If I could kick his butt to the floor once or twice a week, that would be the highlight of my day. Though I don’t like the pace of golf, it’s the game of businessmen, I endeavor to do well in it, and as it happens, often business deals are reached at the golf courses. I scowl and look outside from my twentieth floor office’s floor to ceiling windows. The weather is gray as my mood, unpalatable. I have everything under control, but it has been an ordinary existence for me lately. I haven’t had a diversion in the last two months. No exciting challenges and nothing has captured my interest. Everything is orderly, and all my affairs under control. The phone buzzes. “Yes, Andrea?” “Mr. Grey, Miss Anastasia Steele for Miss Katherine Kavanagh is here.” I hate surprises. I should not have agreed to give an interview to WSU magazine, but then Miss Kavanagh had been quite persistent, and she comes from a business family, whose father I can do business with in return of this favor. But someone else shows up in her place? I’m petulant like a child to Andrea. “I wasn’t expecting a Miss Steele. I was expecting Katherine Kavanagh!” “It’s Miss Steele who is here, sir,”she says. I grumble, “Fine! Send her in!” Less than a minute later the door opens, and a tangle of chestnut brown hair, pale arms, a messenger bag, indistinctly dressed pale legs in brown boots roll into my office floor sprawled headlong. Although I hate clumsiness, courtesy demands that I go and help her up, and reach out and get her into upright position holding her slim shoulders. As she stands up, I meet the brightest blue, shy eyes capture mine as a jolt of electricity halt me in my tracks. She looks at
her long lashes cast a shadow over her blue eyes which are downcast again in that shy manner.” I say. she is extraordinary out of the ordinary. I don’t even know where that thought came from. I’m Christian Grey. I grimace. and try to hide a smile behind my index finger. through me. I feel compelled to explain. her voice stutters briefly as I receive her tiny hand in mine.” I was surprised to hear those words out of her so simply and eloquently. I fix my gaze on her.” She stutters and stumbles over her words. she just looks around.” I don’t even know what made me explain that. but quickly smile. her ponytail nearly undone with the tumble she took. “And you are?” I coax the words out of her. I’m amused. shapeless blouse. Would you like to sit? She blushes. anywhere but me. already feeling a distaste of her indistinct A line skirt. as my thought wonder how her derriere color would change with the bite of my twitchy palms. tongue tied. She sent me. I slightly shake my head. “raising the ordinary to extraordinary. “Oh. She’s too shy. She doesn’t have a single decisive. I find hers to be endearing. too compliant. All of a sudden I imagine her in silk and satin. “Yes…” I find myself saying while gazing at her intently. I take a sharp intake of breath.. as if to dig into my soul. “Miss Kavanagh. uhm… Katherine.” she speaks slowly.. I’m studying with Kate. I feel a jolt of electricity with her touch! Wow! She must feel the same way because she looks as if she got shocked and withdraws her hand with a slight gasp. There’s something about her. Though I find clumsiness irritating. I apologize for the change in the last minute Mr.“Trouton. She blinks. . as if shining a light to the depths of my being and pulling it to the surface. I’m Anastasia Steele. I don’t know where that thought came from. deciding to have fun. Women react to my face that way. bringing her gaze down. I can see she’s nervous and extremely shy. too forbearing… too submissive. It’s always the same. and see her making an attempt to set up her outdated mini-disk recorder on my very expensive coffee table all thumbs dropping it repeatedly. Grey. and looks at it admiringly. uhm. I extend my hand. blushing after noticing my face. As she casts her eyes down again. “Miss Kavanagh is indisposed. My mind is wondering. and before I can point her to a seat she gazes up at my painting. She isn’t well. emphatic bone in her body. I can’t imagine her to be a journalist with her demeanor. I wouldn’t ordinarily care. “Local artist. I hope you’re alright. and cheap boots. as that was my exact thought on it when I purchased it – in a way. her pearlesque skin changes color to her hairline blushing." Her voice sounds musical. unnerving me. “Lovely. She flushes all over again. She can’t even meet my eyes. Miss Kavanagh at WSU.me. She’s a brunette too.
“right here?” “Didn’t you compile your own questions?” She looks chagrined. I tell her to take her time giving myself time to gather my errant thoughts. I can tell she finds me arrogant. I give her an answer which pops her mouth open.” What the fuck? How right you are baby! If only you knew. Didn’t she even do her homework before she came over to interview me? Ridiculous! Then she opens her mouth and asks me the question even my family didn’t dare to ask. She flusters. Grey?” What the fuck? How dare she? I would now love to take you over my knees and beat the living shit out of you had you been mine with that question! I slightly change colors. I’m too engrossed watching her bottom lip. “I’m so sorry Mr. Grey. Grey.” I tell her most of my interests except my two most favorite both of which would include her right now. In fact I am envisioning her tied up on my poster bed in my playroom.” I would love to subdue that smart mouth of yours right now! She blushes again biting her lip. but no one worded it before: “Are you gay Mr. “You sound like a control freak. ordinary. and my mind is wondering in all directions going crazy! I just want to reach up and release that out of her bite and put it in my mouth! I close my eyes. “No. exercise control in all things Miss Steele. She then asks me of my interests outside of work to “chill out.” she replies flushing. I answer firmly: “No Anastasia. It… uhm. . I tell her looking at her intently “Oh. the question was written…” pointing to her notes. and take a slow breath as she finally sets up her recorder. She asks me a question about power. I’m not!” She has the decency to look painfully embarrassed. uhm… Miss Kavanagh did. Once she sets her recorder up. Kate. but compose myself.What the fuck! How did I not notice those lips and she’s biting her lower lip in her frustration trying to set that antiquated machine up! What I would love to do to that lip! I can’t get my gaze off of it. After hearing my answer to her question she mumbled. what's in everyone's mind. They’re mundane. and I am chiding myself in my head for thinking like an adolescent boy as she mutters an apology for not being used to that recorder which I could care less. What the fuck! Where did that image come from? She asks me a few other questions which are public information. I’m disappointed by the questions she’s asking. Why am I spending my time to answer such questions? She’s flustering again noticing my distaste. Mr. and disappointment..
Andrea comes in after knocking the door. “yes sir. and she grudgingly thanks me as I smile.” All of a sudden I feel much better. Grey.” she mumbles. or else I will fuck her over on my coffee table… Calm down Grey. I ease myself back into my chair. But she’s not staff yet. let me ask you some questions.” “Cancel my next appointment Andrea!”I say. isn’t it?” she asks as if it’s common knowledge.” “You don’t have to leave right away Miss Steele. I’d never do that. she’s too young. I can give you a tour if you like. yeah. What’s wrong with my company? “Why not?” I ask her. Grey. face getting red.“Well then. and subdue you baby! There she goes again biting her lower lip. and takes her bag and stands up. I just want to reach over and thug that chin so she stops doing it. Grey. “Mr. “Sir?” “I said cancel it. Anastasia is getting ready to leave. She’s my roommate. Just trying to get through my finals.” At least Andrea has the decency to finally realize my command. and says. what are your plans after graduation?” “I haven’t thought that far Mr. and she’s very ill. your next appointment is in two minutes. Not to me! I rise up. and walk to the door smoothly. She dismisses my offer. and she freezes in her place.” What the hell is wrong with me.” She flushes and flusters fidgeting in her seat. I tell myself. She fidgets more.” turning my head to her gaping mouth. and packing her things saying. and rub my lower lip with my index finger. “It’s obvious. “Miss Steele. opening it for her. you don’t have to do that for me Mr. indicating my intention.” I find myself offering her a job.“That explains the questions. how did you end up interviewing me if those are Miss Kavanagh’s questions?” “Uhm… I was drafted. “Oh. I like to get you squirming. . she’s not a lesbian. I don’t want her to trip over her own feet on her way out. “you can apply for an internship here. I look at her pointed. and I have a policy to never fuck the staff.” She’s ready to bolt. Ok. more so personal questions. Tell me. It’s only fair after your less than informal. “I don’t want to alter your schedule Mr. Grey. and not immune to my charms.
What if she’s not single? Fuck! The thought never occurred to me.” she says as the door closes. “Goodbye Christian. and looks too inexperienced. “Andrea. I’ll see her again tomorrow. then I’ll come back and forget about that idiotic venture. I have to give myself time to see if I still want her in a couple of days. If she’s not.Both Andrea and the intern’s mouth agape as I walk Miss Steele out. I’m going out of my mind and itching to find out about her. but how fun would it be to teach her.” “Yes sir. book me a place in Portland. I need it ASAP. Only one way to find out. I have to find out. She is too young. A couple of days later I receive her detailed but nondescript background check. I dial my assistant. Name?” “Anastasia Steele. “Goodbye Anastasia. She’s 21 years old. It’s a first. I don’t even know her sexual orientation. I grab it out of her hand. I ask her if she had a jacket. I hate waiting. And I don’t do waiting.” I hate waiting. put it on Miss Steele. She seemed to have responded my charms positively. and order Andrea: “Get Welch on the line!” A minute later he’s on.” I hang up. I don’t do waiting! I am freaking right now. But right now.” I say.” “Yes sir. . My hand is on her shoulder just a second too long and I feel the jolt of electricity again as I know she does as well. has 4. I turn on my heels. works at a hardware store part time. and the intern rushes to get it for her.0 GPA. I can’t get her lip biting out of my mind without my inside twitching like a teenage boy. but it says nothing about her past or present relationships. “Welch! I want you to do a background check for me. Even though few days passed since she had interviewed me. I can’t get her off my mind. Now I wait.” “Yes sir. but I have to find out about her. Tomorrow. for tomorrow. I’ve never pursued a woman before.
Questioning. Grey. All of a sudden I have the urge to go and suck that piece of bagel from her lip. She then helps me find masking tape. She’s just as affected by me as I am of her. I choose the wider one.” I say by the way of explaining. in fact far better in her jeans and t-shirt. She shows me two different kinds of masking tape. and rope. What I can do with those to you I think as my gaze darkens. Far. “I was in the area. I’m pleased. She answers in the affirmative. sometimes with her index finger. her eyes are still cast down and shy. Grey?” she asks me in a breathy husky voice. She blushes again. “Mr. I find myself replying in the same tone. far better.. She’s biting her lip again. She flushes all over again. I don’t redecorate. part time. Yes. I take a deep breath and locate her within thirty seconds. and in that nervous action. hiking boots.” She stutters first. No baby. I smile. She’s working today. “Miss Steele.” she manages to breathe.” She gazes at my outfit. I ask her if she ever was a girl scout gazing at her intently. She asks me if I’m redecorating. She leads the way. Grey. “Anything else Mr. “What can I help you with?” “I need some cable ties. I smile my secret smile. She’s surprised as her blue eyes go wider. I need to stock up on some items. Four years.. These are for other DIY projects which you probably never tried. Sometimes she’s removing the crumb from the corner of her mouth with her tongue.” I say smiling. she looks down at her hands and rings her fingers as if the squeeze out some water. She looks up from her task to lock gazes with me her breath hitching. then putting on her employee smile she asks.” she says. she’s definitely affected by my presence. It’s a pleasant surprise to see you here. But how fun it would be to teach you! She blushes under my gaze again.CHRISTIAN AND ANA THE SECOND MEETING CHAPTER II I find myself like an idiot teenage boy in front of the Clayton’s Hardware Store. “Of course Mr. Grey.” she dares . I have people to do that. I’m happy to see I can affect her the same way. She’s at a register looking at a computer screen engrossed in her task while eating a bagel. “organized group activities aren’t my thing. my sweater. I have to ask her something to keep her engaged. When she later cuts the filament rope with the efficiency of a boy scout. I’m not into that. Mr.“No. She looks just as lovely as I remember her. and her eyes linger a little too long on my jeans. That means she’s not gay. flushing. “Have you worked here long?” Though I already know the answer to my question.
I want to engage her. “What exactly is your thing Anastasia?” I ask in a low voice. “Is there anything else I can help you find Mr. and I can see his reveries change into one of admiration and awe. She gasps slightly at my question. Then we hear her name called by a guy. Kate… I mean.” It takes him a second to realize who I am. but the owner’s brother. let go off her now. The f*cker is not the boyfriend. But if it works. my roommate is writing it. Is he her boyfriend? I get the chills all of a sudden. I would love to try. He finally gets the point and leaves. She drags the f*cker with her back to where I stand.”I say my eyes narrowing coolly dismissing him.a peak under her long lashes.”she whispers. While measure each other out. Grey?” she says flustering. everything she does. and skedaddle to the hole you crawled out of! He asks me if I need anything. “Oh. Is this for me? I don’t do hearts and flowers. She wishes she had some stills of you though. “Paul. I’m thinking she’s all hearts and flowers. her squirming and wringing her fingers just making me want to reach out to her. Grey?” I need to get her engaged in talking to me. “The British classics. Miss Kavanagh. I can’t take my eyes off of her. and capture that lip in mine. the usual. I ignore her question.” . “Mr. and almost have an urge to beat the crap out of that guy. His brother owns this place. It’s frustrating trying to decipher her. her lip biting. “ANA!” Some preppy dressed guy coming to her knowingly. She’s beguiling me. I narrow my eyes. and proprietary towards her? She’s nothing to me. “How’s the article coming along Anastasia?” I ask. I don’t want to be dismissed. f*cker. I gaze at him glacially. Why did I feel jealous. and goes to him. She changes the subject going back to the employee mode. tie those hands up. Who the hell is he? She excuses herself. but I only rarely see him as he goes to Princeton studying Business Administration. I don’t know why I feel this pang of jealousy. and it is an uneasy one. Maybe they’re not involved. Maybe I made a mistake by coming. Yet… I would like her to be something to me. but her longing look says something else blushing. but she doesn’t reciprocate. Dare I say Bronte and Jane Austen? “What kind of books?” I ask interested but knowing the answer. we just might have a lot of fun. this is Paul. I’ve known him for a long time. I think I already know the answer. He hugs her. I bet its books. “Books.” she whispers. She is devastated that she didn’t get to interview you.” looking at me expectantly. Grey. She looks surprised raising her eyes to mine. “Anastasia has been very accommodating. this is Christian Grey. I’m not familiar with this emotion. and teach that mouth some lessons. “Is there anything else you need Mr. I rub my chin contemplating her response.I slowly let out a sigh of relief. I ask. and drapes his arm possessively over her. Yes. Anastasia adds.
If not. I hear her breath hitch. She can see the gleam in my eyes. I answer curtly: “Grey.” My heart stutters for a second. I pay for my purchases as she keeps her gaze down. I don’t lose when I’m on a mission.” all breathy and excited. I tell her that I’m staying at Heathman in Portland and we decide to do the shoot at nine thirty in the morning.” I fish out my business card out of my wallet. “Oh. I hope she calls. I don’t recognize the number. I’ll leave tomorrow abandoning this pursuit. Anastasia. I work out for hours. “Perhaps tomorrow I can be available. “Yes.m. Why am I so much like a teenager. “Uhmm… Mr. “You need to call me before 10:00 a. Her shy smile is before my eyes. Our gazes lock.” I say.” She’s pleasantly surprised and she gives me the biggest smile brightening her already bright blue eyes to a new shine taking my breath away. Who the hell is this? I’m in a bad temper. If she doesn’t call. what other chance meeting can I arrange? My mind is working out backup plans. we will. Taylor is waiting for me at the parking lot. I’m grinning like an idiot. hoping she calls. and her lips are still on my mind. and hand it to her our hands briefly touching with the same jolt of electricity making me gasp slightly darkening my eyes. Busy myself with work. I feel elated to have that effect on her. I come back to my hotel room. I have the same effect on her. “Miss Steele.That surprises me and gives me hope that perhaps I can find a way to see Anastasia again. This will work. I go to work out to spend my excess energy. I’m relieved. How nice to hear from you. She really has the most beautiful smile. I’m glad it was you who interviewed me. Anastasia. and then the beat peaks up and I find myself answering with a husky but soft tone. we’ll see you there. Kate would be so happy!” she says excitedly. I leave the store with a renewed purpose. Grey? It’s Anastasia Steele. and not your roommate. Only if she wants it though. I feel my eyes darken and unable to wait until . When I am done. I turn to her and tell her. When she says “Okay. put my purchases on a chair.” I want her to know I’m interested. She looks too inexperienced. She’s too young for what I have in mind for her.” A shy. She likes me. Why won’t she call? Damn it! I decide to answer some emails as my phone rings. “Let’s go. and take a shower. “Really?” I say.”I almost thought she wasn’t going to call. I go to my suite. and I’m dying for her to look at me again. I’m staying here locally. taking my purchases. nervous and husky sound replies. her touch moving my insides? She looks up at me again as I hand my Amex to her. and I can feel her gasp and she reciprocates my feelings. He drives me to Heathman Hotel.
or Mary. How do you do?” I say. About thirty minutes later we’re done. I get up and go to the gym again to work out to pass the time. She’s beautiful enough. I put my arm over my eyes. leaving it wet. then remove them uneasy staring at the ceiling. and let my hair on its own volition. Is this f*cker her boyfriend? “Mr. Anastasia then introduces the photographer saying. and my grey trademark flannel pants hanging low on my hips. “Will you walk with me. it’s magical. After my workout. I wake up sweaty with her name on my lips. domineering. or Angie? I think not. I have to find out. Like me. I eat my breakfast quickly. Boyfriend rings on my head. Taylor waits by the door. sure of herself. She has to be mine. The name is a caress on my lips. and she gives me a discreet once over. “Would you join me for coffee this morning?” I keep the expectancy out of my gaze.”I say with laced seduction. Miss Steele. I feel anger building inside me. They were both possessive of her.” I whisper. Anastasia. I sit and stand for the photo shoot all the while gazing and looking at Anastasia. I have to find out if one of these two f*ckers I’ve met in the last two days is her boyfriend. I’m drawn. Grey. as her blinking increases rapidly.” I say glacially. I feel her breath hitch when her gaze captures mine. “Christian.tomorrow. My gaze seeks her as soon as I enter the suite.this is a date. and I turn to Anastasia asking. but.” I say extending my hand to receive her small pale hand. My subconscious says “you are mine!” The wait to next morning is laced with erotic dreams of Anastasia in silk stockings and handcuffs. I don’t do “sharing”. She gathers her hand all too soon and introduces her roommate who is as I expected.” She smiles at him lovingly and he back at her. and we say out niceties to each other with Kavanagh. “This is Jose Rodriguez. I can feel her heartbeat increasing and her face going pink. Miss Steele?” “Sure. no nonsense.” she says anxious while the friend is suspicious and the f*cking photographer scowling. “Mr. Rodriguez. She calls me letting me know that they’re occupying another suite in the hotel for the shoot. in her grasp. “I look forward to it. but I wouldn’t like her one bit. I open the door and allow her out. alive.” she breathes. and thank my lucky stars in my head that it was Anastasia that came. Could any other name have the same effect on me like Janet. her blue eyes expectant. Yes. With her touch I feel the same jolt of electricity palpate between us. the voice of hers is enough to unman me.linked here) .by The Wanted . baby. “Miss Steele.” the f*cker nods. her name a prayer in my lips. There she stands in low rise jeans hugging her curves tightly with a white shirt showing her shape beautifully. we meet again. and I know she feels it too. I take a long shower and put on my white shirt with an open collar. our photographer. bewitched. possessive.“Anastasia. and not her. She’s blushing and her breathing gets erratic. “The tenacious Miss Kavanagh. (Glad you came .
Her color makes me smile like the Cheshire cat. I find her gazing at me surreptitiously. “Is he your boyfriend. and comes back out. I told you that yesterday. watching the lovely red color creep up her shy face again. “No he isn’t. “see. resolved. Me. I would love to find out what she is blushing about.” “Oh. I like it black and weak” she says. “Ok. and occasionally biting her lips. We have small talk on the way to the elevators.” I say. “English breakfast tea. More like family really. while I maintain to keep my smile away…barely. a couple who have been making out spring apart looking anywhere but each other. and stretch my legs under the table sitting opposite to her to see her beautiful shy face better. . I grab Anastasia’s hand. I keep my gaze on Anastasia. Apologetically she indicates that she’s not keen on coffee. Grey. “I see.” Then I turn to her and say.” “I see.” She says surprising me. I let her choose a table and ask her what she would like. She flushes even as red as the Chinese flag.” she says. I have to get to the point and put myself out of misery. We hear the couple giggle behind us as I mutter “what is it with the elevators?” We cross the street to a coffee shop her hand in mine with the jolt of electricity a constant thrum between us. I can switch vehicles with Kate. let’s do coffee” she says flushing scarlet red. “he’s just a good friend. I coax her: “What are you thinking?” She’s not giving anything away. As the door opens. the photographer. What is it with elevators? Anastasia is flushed and embarrassed. “Why do you ask?” she quizzes me.She tells me disappointed that she has to drive everyone home. When I go to get the drinks and something to eat.” She goes back into the suite. “how about the boy from the store?” I get to the point. I press the button to call the elevator. and walk out of the elevator.” she gushes. no coffee. Oh. I give an inward sigh of relief.” I cut her. As the elevator dings reaching the first floor. Taylor doesn’t have to do that Mr. “This is my favorite kind of tea. bag out. So. she brings her gaze down to her knotted fingers flushing. the photographer Jose Rodriguez?” “No. ensuing a small discussion with her friend. I hope. his assistant and their equipment to where they need to go. because I can’t bear it anymore. God! What I would love to do to you to get out what you are thinking! I put the tray on the table she picked. I got you covered baby! “TAYLOR!” “Please take Miss Kavanagh. “Penny for your thoughts?” I say. When I come back to the table.
Just as we stroll to the parking lot. “Do you have a girlfriend?” all flushing. She thanks me for the tea. “Shit. she blurts out. I find myself shouting. I don’t do the girlfriend thing. and without thinking I ask her. I’m high handed. though I realize she says that without thinking because she blushes all the way to her hairline.” I answer softly. I didn’t know I was.” I observe. as she looks like she’s barely stopping herself from panting. I ask her if she would like to visit.” she confesses. A flicker of thought passes her face without any words. But she’s not giving much away. Very very well.” I tell her. and she automatically hands it to me once again the current flowing between us. because I think she spoke her thought out loud. “Do you always wear jeans?” “Mostly. and trying to make sure she’s ok . She asks me if I always make personal observations. but I’m keener to know her. and ask her about her family. “I want to know what you’re thinking. How right you are baby! “I always get my way Anastasia. You are mysterious. Bronte.” I tell her it’s beautiful. flushing once more.” I bet I can guess why. walking ahead and tripping headlong onto the street. Anastasia. “in all things. and says. the thought pleases me.” I say. But. I like to see the places that inspired my favorite authors. “Austen. but not before I take a sharp intake of breath. She looks up.I do affect her. I give her a half smile.” she says without blinking.” She looks baffled. the pleasure is all on me. She has a disappointed look on her face and tries to let go of my hand. She brightens. Oh. but please don’t look down. “To Paris? Of course. She looks at her knotted fingers again. I like to see your face. She wants to go to study her finals. She’s confused. I know she’s thinking something. I feel her inhaling my scent as I get a whiff of her soft feminine smell of her hair and skin. Suits her. She asks me about mine. and I can’t help but smile. but I don’t know what exactly. “I am intimidating. of course. As I tell her my sister Mia is in Paris. I close my eyes momentarily whisper at her ear.” I want to know more about her. I love the way her ass looks in those jeans. She’s never left the country.” She answers confused. “No.“You get nervous around men. My index finger grazes my lower lip. We both stroll back towards the hotel both lost in thought. Wasn’t she making personal observations about me last week? She shocks me by saying. it’s England I would really like to visit. I smile. and ask her if she’s been. I offer her to walk her to Miss Kavanagh’s car. “I just find you intimidating. I tell her that when she blushes. Shakespeare. I hold my hand out to her. Ana!” as I yank her hand to get her upright as a bicyclist nearly missing hitting her as I pull her to my body as tight as possible. Anastasia. “I hear Paris is lovely. Hearts and flowers as I suspected. and kiss that mouth of yours that you’ve been biting. She looks at her watch. Hardy. “Are you okay?” while grasping the small of her back with one hand. she says longingly. “Why?” I coax her.
We lock gazes. She’s the hearts and flowers kind of girl.” confusing her.” I whisper. I brush her lower lip with my thumb as a shiver runs through my body. I can’t get her face off of my head. I’m not the man for you. I’m torn. I’m furious at the f*cker who nearly drove over her. not yours! Do you want me to take you to the hotel lobby and sit with you?” “I’m okay. but not wanting to hurt her. okay? I’ll let you stand. How would I know it won’t work if I don’t try? . and let you walk.and has no scratches on her face with the other. wanting her. The look… The hurt… Fuck! It’s all my fault… I don’t do the girlfriend thing and she’s not the kind of girl who would do what I want! I’m in a fucking conundrum and I have some unknown desire. It’s better if she thinks it’s rejection than to have her hurt later. and she is intently looking at me. F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! I turn back to the hotel. She’s too young. and walks away from me. something… I am full of emotions I’m not familiar with. Her breath is caught. I’m battling with some foreign emotions. and I am fighting against myself to control my urges to pull her the remaining inch and kiss her.” she says. some pull towards her. I take a small breath and say. someone. It won’t work with her! The battle in my head rages. She will get hurt. I nearly concede. “I’ve got this.” she says at the last ditch effort trying not to cry.” she says nearly in tears. She opens her blue eyes as wide as possible as to not let any tears pooling behind to escape. “Thanks!” she says nearly in tears. The last thing I see her doing is wiping away stray tears from her face as I kick myself inside.” “For what?” “For saving me. “Thank for doing the photo shoot. I have to punch something. my name a prayer on her tongue. “You should stay away from me Anastasia. “Thank you Mr. No. “It was that idiot’s fault. and what she would get from me would make her unhappy. “What Christian?” she snaps.. Grey. “Breathe Anastasia. She’s too innocent. She’s not for my world. I can’t bear the hurt on her face. too innocent. I briefly close my eyes. and the fifty shades of f*cked up Christian Grey doesn’t do that.” She’s lovely. “Anastasia… I. with the inner battle raging within me.” she says her voice breaking. “Good luck with your exams.” I stop. I can’t do that to her. and try to explain myself to her that I’m a fucked up guy. and when I open them I’m determined. her body and gaze are saying “kiss me. and I don’t want to hurt her. and hurt on her face. too lovely. Her face is fallen as if I hit her…hard.” She has disappointment.
F*ck! I call Claude Bastille and ask him to get his ass to Portland. Tomorrow. I will wait till tomorrow. See if I can work this out in my head.Fuck this! I’ll give myself another day. . I need serious workout.
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