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1A8LF OF CON1FN1S
20 Aesop Rock 19 Boring Rocks
19Gilgamesh 20 Frank Ocean
No God, No Master
15 Snow White
Beachin’ n’ Boozin’
16 The Dictator
17 People Like Us
THE STONY BROOK PRESS
SENIOR COPY EDITOR
MINISTER OF ARCHIVES
TRIES TO EAT ROCKS
Lennox the Dog
Lucy Van Dalen
THE STONY BROOK PRESS
MINISTER OF ARCHIVES
THE STONY BROOK PRESS
MINISTER OF ARCHIVES
EDITORIALS August 9, 2012
Another year, another summer and, as I’m sure many of
you reading have done or are in the process of doing, time
for another internship. Taking an internship is seen as an
important step in pretty much every program around here,
be it research based or arts based. Hell, I can’t even tell you
oƤ Ihe Iop oI my head how many members oI our own sIaƤ
are oƤ lIvIng a lIIe oI IndenIured servIIude Io IheIr Iempo-
As Ior me, IhIs Is Ihe ƥrsI IIme In my college career when
I have not undertaken a summer internship. I have, instead,
opted for a summer of gallivanting and seeing bands like
Smash Mouth, Gin Blossoms, Everclear, Marcy Playground,
LII and Sugar Ray whIle Ì geI absoluIely blIIzed on WhIIe
Personally, Ì Ieel IhaI Ihe whole InIernshIp concepIr
— the unpaid type especially — is particularly fucked, but
you’ll read more about that further into the issue in a love-
ly, thoughtful piece on pages eight and nine.
DependIng on where you go, you can geI some real-
world experIence. Ì know Ì cerIaInly goI more Ihan my IaIr
share oI ƥeld reporIIng experIence aI one oI my Ihree In-
IernshIps and learned a IhIng or Iwo abouI how Io handle a
camera, as well as how Io approach and manage a sIIuaIIon
when reporIIng on delIcaIe maIIers lIke a deceased chIld.
Hell, Ì even goI Io super-Ireeze varIous IIems In a con-
tainer of liquid nitrogen, learning once and for all that most
IhIngs wonŗI really shaIIer lIke Ihe hockey jersey In D3: The
Mighty Ducks, but it’s still damn cool.
Unfortunately, sometimes they can be more trouble
Ihan Iheyŗre worIh. Ì was workIng as an InIern aI a very
popular Iech news websIIe when II was rocked by a scan-
dal concernIng řcheckbook journalIsmŚ and Ihe alleged
company purchase of stolen property. Every day had me
Involved wIIh a company In Ihe mIdsI a PR nIghImare, unIIl
Ì evenIually leII beIore II was over, washIng my hands oI
Ì learned Iwo IhIngs Irom IhaI ƥasco: Ihe ƥrsI beIng
IhaI II a pIece oI news lIke IhaI jusI Ialls InIo your lap lIke
that, something’s up, and the second being that you can
Iake boIh Ihe ƦaI lId and Ihe lId wIIh Ihe sIppy bII on Iop
aI Ihe 7-Eleven coƤee Island and sIack Ihem on Iop oI each
oIher. NoI only do Ihey ƥI perIecIly, buI Ihey make II so you
really have Io Iry and spIll IhaI coƤee. (Really, II worksʖ Try
IIʖ}. ThIs Is super useIul when carryIng Iwo Irays Iull oI coI-
Iee Ior Iwo cIIy blocks.
WhaI II comes down Io Is IhIs, Ihe InIernshIps you geI
really are hit or miss. You could end up scoring one that has
you doing something fantastic, but you could also have to
go reporI on a Iown-Iunded Smash MouIh concerI, as Ì saw
a Iellow SßU sIudenI doIng as parI oI her InIernshIp. Dr you
could be spending your summer like The Press’ own NIck
Batson, creating photo captions, lugging a bunch of heavy
camera equipment through airports and spending a small
fortune in train fare.
They’re a necessary evil, really. Can I guarantee that
youŗll learn someIhIng useIul Irom Ihe experIence IhaI
youŗll use Ior years Io come? Fuck no. WIll II make you look
beIIer Io a poIenIIal employer down Ihe road? Ever-so-
So sleep IIghI In your bed, dear reader, and know IhaI
Ihe summer(s} youŗve spenI noI geIIIng paId Ior your work,
eIIher burnIng Ihrough your own savIngs or leechIng oƤ
your parenIs lIke a parasIIe, wIll probably be worIh slIghIly
more than nothing in the long run. But probably not.
INTERNS AIN’T SHIT BUT HOES AND TRICKS
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
Campus Cash Is no moreʖ The FaculIy SIudenI AssocIa-
IIon has recenIly ImplemenIed Wolƥe WalleI, a program
Ihree years In Ihe works, accordIng Io Angela Agnello, FSAŗs
Director of Marketing & Communications.
řWolƥe WalleI Is a campus admInIsIered, prepaId, Iax-
able declining balance debit plan that can be used at more
locaIIons Ihan Campus Cash,Ś saId Agnello.
LocaIIons IhaI prevIously accepIed Campus Cash now
accepI Wolƥe WalleI, as well as Ihree new vendors ŕ CVS
Pharmacy, Top Halal ChInese and SIar Wash Lube.
řAs Ihe lIsI oI oƤ-campus vendors conIInues Io grow,
we anIIcIpaIe sIudenI usage Io Increase,Ś saId Agnello.
She added that funds can be used for dining on cam-
pus, In locaIIons such as IasmIne In Ihe Wang CenIer. ÌI can
also still be used in vending machines.
AlIhough sIudenI InpuI was consIdered In Ierms oI
vendors Ihrough FSA surveys, Ihere are sIudenIs who Ieel
IhaI Ihe revamp oI Ihe sysIem was unnecessary.
“There’s no reason to change it from Campus Cash to
Wolƥe WalleI,Ś saId senIor Carson Hadley. řThere was noIh-
Ing wrong wIIh Campus Cash.Ś
Agnello boasIs IhaI Ihe new sysIem Is more dIverse
and user friendly than Campus Cash.
řWolƥe WalleI Is accepIed aI more locaIIons, reIund-
able and usable from semester to semester as long as a
sIudenI Is enrolled aI SIony ßrook UnIversIIy,Ś she saId.
řWolƥe WalleI Is noI exempI Irom sales Iax, Is noI bIllable
to a student’s account and cannot be paid directly through
Some students are concerned about the reasoning be-
hInd ImplemenIIng Ihe new sysIem.
řÌ IhInk Wolƥe WalleI Is a way Ior Ihe campus Io exIorI
more money Irom sIudenIs, and IIŗs very conIusIng,Ś saId
SIeven Umassor, who wIll be a senIor In Ihe Iall. řÌ donŗI
According to Agnello, any funds that students had in
Campus Cash have already been IransIerred over Io Wolƥe
by Terichi Bellinger
Anyone whoŗs been keepIng up on Ihe news over Ihe
pasI Iew weeks has undoubIedly heard oI Ihe recenI dIs-
covery by Ihe European DrganIzaIIon Ior Nuclear Research
(CERN} oI a subaIomIc parIIcle IhaI behaves In a manner
consIsIenI wIIh how Ihe IheorIzed HIggs boson Is saId Io
The monumenIal dIscovery, II correcI, wIll be
key In IuIure research regardIng how our unIverse
works, as Ihe HIggs boson Is Ihe parIIcle IhaI would
explaIn why and how oIher elemenIary parIIcles
acquIre mass. Such a dIscovery would open doors
Io whole new worlds oI parIIcle physIcs research.
There were over 1,7UU researchers Irom U.S.
InsIIIuIIons workIng on Ihe projecI aI CERNŗs Large
Hadron CollIder near Ceneva, several oI whIch are
SIony ßrook UnIversIIyŗs own. These researchers
include Professors of Physics John Hobbs, Robert L.
McCarIhy and MIchael RIjssenbeek, as well as DmI-
tri Tsybychev, Assistant Professor of Physics.
UnIIl recenIly, Ihe exIsIence oI Ihe HIggs parII-
cle was only IheorIzed, buI earlIer In Iuly scIenIIsIs
belIeve Ihey wIInessed II come Io lIIe. And a shorI
lIIe II was Ior Ihe HIggs parIIcle, as II only exIsIs Ior
one zepIosecond, or one sexIIllIonIh oI a second.
The Higgs particle is believed to be a funda-
menIal clue In Ihe mysIery oI how all elemenIary parIIcles
InIeracI wIIh one anoIher, and II Is speculaIed IhaI wIIh-
ouI Ihe HIggs boson all oIher parIIcles would move aI Ihe
speed of light, making it impossible for all matter and life
GETTIN’ HIGGSY WIT IT
by Nick Batson and Tom Johnson
NEWS August 9, 2012
As the death of Rodney King looms closely above our
heads, his role as the unintentional symbol for troubled
race relations continues to stand strong.
MosI oI our generaIIon (IhaI Is, Ihe 18 Io 22-year-olds
who are currenIly enrolled aI SIony ßrook UnIversIIy, or
any oIher collegIaIe InsIIIuIIon}, can vaguely assocIaIe
hIm wIIh hIs recorded beaIIng IhaI epIIomIzed polIce bru-
IalIIy Io IIs mosI exIreme degree. The dark vIdeo shows a
large African-American man on the ground, surrounded by
CaucasIan oƧcers who conIInue Io beaI hIm wIIh baIons
and Iase hIm, despIIe hIs subdued posIIIon. ÌI Is dIƧculI Io
waIch as one oI Ihe oƧcers conIInues Io sIrIke Ihe man on
hIs legs and keep hIm down whIle anoIher beaIs hIm over
Ihe head wIIh a baIon. The vIdeo, however, only presenIs
the aftermath of the original confrontation.
WhaI řgood SamarIIanŚlcIIIzen journalIsIlconcerned
neIghbor Ceorge HollIday dIdnŗI capIure was Ihe InIIIal
conIacI beIween Ihe auIhorIIIes and Ihe cIvIlIan. KIng was
very drunk whIle drIvIng, and as laIer IoxIcology reporIs
show, he was also hIgh oƤ oI marIjuana. He had led a hIgh-
speed chase Ihrough Los Angeles as he was IryIng Io drIve
ouI oI Ihe reach oI nearby oƧcers In an eƤorI noI Io vIolaIe
his parole for a previous crime — armed robbery.
As clIps oI Ihe beaIIng Ʀooded news broadcasIs
and IelevIsIon seIs, KIng was unknowIngly IhrusIed
InIo Ihe cIvIl rIghIs movemenI. A new posIer chIld Ior
polIce bruIalIIy, KIng ƥled a suII agaInsI Ihe cIIy oI Los
Angeles, and Iour oƧcers awaIIed IrIal shorIly aIIer Ihe
FasI Iorward Io abouI a year laIer, on AprIl 25,
1552, a 12-person jury IhaI dId noI Include any black
AmerIcans acquIIIed Ihree oƧcers oI Ihe charges, and
granIed one a mIsIrIal. Chaos dIrecIly Iollowed.
Ìn a span oI sIx days, Ihe cIIy oI Los Angeles be-
came Ihe cIIy oI Los DemonIos. WhaI was supposed
to be a trial of the mishandling of an assailant became
an all-ouI race war beIween whIIes, blacks and anyone
who sIood In Ihe mIddle. ShoIs were ƥred and sIores
were burned. Dne parIIcular show shuI down was IhaI
oI Korean sIore owner Soon Ia Du, who IaIally shoI and
kIlled LaIasha HarlIns, a 15-year-old AIrIcan AmerIcan
gIrl who was allegedly IryIng Io sIeal an orange juIce.
Du had been convIcIed oI manslaughIer, whIch IurIher
sIIrred Ihe racIal IensIons oI Ihe Iown.
AnoIher vIdeo clIp also surIaced oI a whIIe Iruck
drIver, RegInald Denny, who was pulled ouI oI hIs Iruck
during the riots and beaten to a pulp. He survived the
aIIacks, buI as he was grabbed by a mob oI angry AI-
rican Americans, the message behind trial stood clear.
Race relations are not good, and they are continuing to
FIIIy-Ihree deaIhs and over 2,UUU InjurIes laIer, Ihe
cIIy reIurned Io řnormalŚ. KIng was evenIually award-
ed hIs ʙ3.8 mIllIon and conIInued Io lIve a řnormalŚ
lIIe, wIIh Ihe occasIonal drug use here and Ihere, and a
Iew more unrelaIed arresIs Io Iollow.
WhaI makes Ihe sIory oI Rodney KIng so sIrIkIng Is
whaI he sIood Ior. We have an AIrIcan AmerIcan man who
was noIhIng lIke MarIIn LuIher KIng Ir. and noIhIng lIke
Malcolm X. He was an ordInary man wIIh a crImInal pasI
who had been vIcIously beaIen In IronI oI a lens, and IhaI
beating helped reinforce, if not prove, that race relations
were nowhere near Improved.
FasI Iorward anoIher 2U years aIIer Ihe rIoIs, and IIŗs
2U12. SIudIes show IhaI local news medIa oIIen lInk mI-
norIIIes Io vIolenI crIme, when In realIIy Ihey are more
lIkely Io commII nonvIolenI crImes. Ìn 2U11, Ihe New York
Civil Liberties Union reported that African-American men
were mosI lIkely Io be IrIsked, and oI Ihose IrIsked, only
1.8 percenI had any Iorm oI weapon. Then on February 26
oI IhIs year, a young black man named Trayvon MarIIn was
branded as beIng řup Io no goodŚ and was shoI by a neIgh-
borhood waIchman Ceorge ZImmerman.
SIudIes and sIaIIsIIcs asIde, Ihe Irenzy behInd KIngŗs
legacy remaIns somewhaI upheld. The haIred IhaI exIsIs
was sImply hIdden, and II was Ihe recordIng IhaI led IhIs
conglomeraIe oI a racIally-ƥred boogeyman ouI oI Ihe
by Bushra Mollick
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
Apple products such as iPads and MacBooks have
helped creaIe Iens oI Ihousands oI jobs aI places lIke ßesI
ßuy and VerIzon WIreless, and have resulIed In bIllIons oI
dollars for the American economy. Last year, Apple stores
worldwIde Iook In more money per square IooI Ihan any
oIher AmerIcan reIaIler, sellIng ʙ16 bIllIon In merchandIse,
accordIng Io Ihe research ƥrm ReIaIlSaIls.
DI Ihe /3,UUU Apple employees, Ihe company proƥIs
Irom Ihe 3U,UUU employees who sell Ihe Ʀawless producIs
Americans, especially college-aged adults, have a love af-
IaIr wIIh. And many oI Ihese employees, lIke Sal MarcIanIo,
who works aI Ihe Apple sIore In Ihe SmIIh Haven Mall, sIarI
earnIng ʙ11.5U an hour.
Some employees, including Marcianio, say Apple prod-
ucts sell themselves. Consumers line up around the corner
ouIsIde oI sIores when a new producI Is released. The com-
pany brings in billions of dollars each year, and some em-
ployees debaIe IhaI Ihe company would noI be where II Is
Ioday wIIhouI Ihese salesmen.
If Apple divided its revenue totally by the number
of employees from last year, each employee brought in
ʙ/73,UUU. Apple does gIve preIIy good beneƥIs Io IIs em-
ployees, but does not give commission. The employees
are sellIng abouI ʙ3 mIllIon worIh oI producIs buI are only
earnIng ʙ25,UUU a year.
These products do generate huge appeal and attention,
makIng II easy Ior a buyer Io walk InIo Apple and buy an
IPad, already knowIng whIch one Ihey wanI. ßuI oIhers de-
baIe IhaI jusI because Ihe producIs sell Ihemselves II does
noI jusIIIy why Ihe employees should do noI geI commIs-
sIon. EspecIally II Ihe company Is sellIng ʙ3 mIllIon worIh
oI producIs, II Is uncommon noI Io reward IIs employees
wIIh exIra pay.
ThIs older busIness model was maInly Io maxImIze
proƥI Ior Ihe people IhaI run Ihe company and Ior IIs
shareholders. Recently, companies have been improving
Ihe well-beIng and welIare oI IIs employees. Apple does
oƤer above average pay, healIh care, /U1(k}, a chance Io
buy company stock and Apple products at a discount.
ThIs Is more Ihan an employee would geI aI large com-
panIes lIke TIƤanyŗs and Ihe Cap. ßuI once agaIn, Apple
Is sellIng mIllIons oI dollars worIh oI producIs Io IIs con-
sumers yearly. Some employees, who recognIze Ihe dIƤer-
ence beIween sellIng ʙ3UU,UUU oI merchandIse and sell-
Ing ʙ/3,UUU, Ieel IhaI Ihose sellIng more producIs deserve
As Ihe debaIe rolls Iorward on Ihe well-beIng oI Apple
employees, it seems some at Apple, like Marcianio, do not
mInd Ihe currenI arrangemenI. The Ieamwork aspecI oI
workIng Ior Apple would be harmed by usIng commIssIon-
Apple does reward employees who remaIn loyal Io Ihe
company. Employees generally receive an annual raise,
whIch MarIcIanIo noIes was hIgher Ihan usual IhIs year.
PROFITS OVER EMPLOYEES
by Siobhan Cassidy
FEATURES August 9, 2012
Alexandra ßlum, a senIor majorIng In sIgn language aI
Keuka College, locaIed In upsIaIe New York, has compleIed
Ihree řƥeld perIodsŚ IhroughouI her college career. And
she Is noI ƥnIshed.
The school requires all students, Blum said, to com-
pleIe Iour 1/U-hour řƥeld perIodsŚ over IheIr Iour years aI
Ihe InsIIIuIIon, as well as one 36U-hour ƥeld perIod durIng
the semester prior to graduation.
WhaI Keuka College calls řƥeld perIods,Ś oIhers call In-
ternships. The three internships that Blum has completed
have been unpaid.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone getting a paid
InIernshIp [aI Keuka College],Ś ßlum saId.
And ßlum Is noI swImmIng alone In Ihe unpaId InIern-
shIp pool. AccordIng Io a Iuly 2U11 arIIcle In Business In-
sider, 5U percenI oI InIernshIps In Ihe UnIIed SIaIes are
unpaId. DI IhaI 5U percenI, some 18 percenI oI InIerns re-
ceIve no college credII Ior IheIr work.
By the standards of the United States Department of La-
bor, sIx crIIerIa musI be meI Ior an unpaId InIernshIp Io be
consIdered legal: Ihe InIernshIp musI be sImIlar Io IraInIng
gIven In an educaIIonal envIronmenI, Ihe experIence musI
be Ior Ihe beneƥI oI Ihe InIern, Ihe InIern cannoI dIsplace a
current employee, the employer can receive no immediate
advanIage Irom Ihe InIern, Ihe InIern Is noI enIIIled Io a job
at the end of the internship period and both the intern and
employer musI undersIand IhaI no wages are guaranIeed.
Barbara Selvin, an assistant professor at Stony Brook
University and internship coordinator of the university’s
School of Journalism, said she feels that the unpaid intern-
shIp phenomenon Is řa really unIorIunaIe developmenI.Ś
“Unpaid internships are an important part of profes-
sIonal developmenI now,Ś SelvIn saId. řÌnIernshIps In gen-
eral, wheIher paId or unpaId, have become a necessIIy Ior
any kInd oI medIa IndusIry.Ś
WIIh Ihe currenI economy, she does noI expecI IhaI Io
change any time soon.
The unfortunate part, Selvin said, is that many students
are forced to forego opportunities because of cost. Unpaid
InIernshIps, she explaIned, come wIIh a dIscrImInaIIon Iac-
Ior ŕ Ihey Iavor people wIIh money who can aƤord Io work
for no pay.
Selvin has seen a very slight increase in stipends pay-
“Internships in general,
wheIher paId or unpaId,
have become a necessity
for any kind of media
The Intern Story
by Nick Batson & Arielle Dollinger
A NECESSARY EVIL:
THE RISKS AND REWARDS
by Nick Batson
& Arielle Dollinger
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
ing for transportation. The Stony Brook School of Jour-
nalism Alumni Association recently set up a need-based
program IhaI oƤers sIudenIs ʙ5UU granIs Io cover Irans-
SIudenIs lIke ßlum worry Ihey do noI have much choIce
buI Io work wIIhouI pay.
řÌ Ieel lIke Ihe job markeI Is so compeIIIIve now IhaI
you deƥnIIely need one, or more Ihan one,Ś ßlum saId.
řWhen youŗre aI an InIernshIp, youŗre makIng all Ihese con-
necIIons wIIh people, you geI your name ouI Ihere, and
youŗre learnIng how Io do IheIr job Ihe rIghI way.Ś
DavId DŗConnor, a senIor aI SIony ßrook UnIversIIy, Is
workIng IhIs summer as an unpaId InIern wIIh Congress-
man Tim Bishop’s re-election campaign.
“I think that, for the intern, it provides the hands-on
experIence IhaI you canŗI geI In school,Ś saId DŗConnor, a
journalIsm major. řAn InIernshIp places you In someIhIng
lIke a IesI-run Ior Ihe ƥeld you wanI Io go InIo one day. You
geI Io see how much you enjoy or haIe II and where you
need Io Improve.Ś
Iacob Colan, a junIor aI Duke UnIversIIy, has done hIs
time as both a paid and unpaid intern. He sees much value
in internships, and that he learns more by interning than he
does by going to class.
řYou learn noIhIng pracIIcal Irom college classes,Ś Co-
The Long Ìsland naIIve recenIly compleIed work as an
unpaId InIern Ior a ßrazIlIan NCD. As an unpaId InIern, he
said he felt taken advantage of because of his eagerness
řÌnIernshIps should be seen as a parInershIp,Ś Colan
said. “The company is investing in you as much as you are
InvesIIng In Ihem.Ś
ßuI he dId noI hesIIaIe Io say IhaI he would Iake an-
oIher unpaId InIernshIp řbecause IIŗs necessary.Ś
Colan leII Ihe ßrazIl NCD Io work Ior a dIƤerenI orga-
nIzaIIon aIIer havIng an argumenI wIIh one oI hIs supervI-
sors. The InIern asked Ior Iour days oƤ, and řIhere was a
According to Blum, an internship can be a positive
or negaIIve experIence.
Dne summer, she InIerned aI a mIddle school un-
der a Ieacher who řdIdnŗI really wanI Io be a menIor.Ś
ßlum IelI lIke she was noI learnIng or ImprovIng.
“You might have a good supervisor, you might not,
buI my schoolŗs preparIng you Ior when you have a bad
one,Ś ßlum saId. řYou have Io be creaIIve and Iry Io
learn dIƤerenI because someIImes menIors jusI donŗI
care and jusI donŗI have IIme Ior a college sIudenI.Ś
However, her oIher InIernshIp experIences have
řTheyŗve been really accepIIng oI me wanIIng Io
learn,Ś she saId.
Some interns appear to be more disgruntled than
oIhers. Xuedan Wang Is one unpaId InIern who decId-
ed to sue her employer.
As reported by The New York Times’ Media Decod-
er blog In February 2U12, Wang InIerned Ior IashIon
magazIne Harper’s Bazaar and ƥled a lawsuII In Feb-
ruary agaInsI Ihe HearsI CorporaIIon, Ihe magazIneŗs
parenI company. Wang accused Ihe magazIne oI Iak-
Ing advanIage oI her, permIIIIng her Io work Iull-IIme
for no pay.
According to the Times’ piece, some companies use
InIerns Io do Ihe jobs oI regular, paId workers, raIher
Ihan makIng an eƤorI Io Iruly educaIe Ihe sIudenIs.
But most students, the article states, are too afraid to
report such incidents.
řWhen youŗre aI an InIernshIp,
you’re making all these con-
necIIons wIIh people, you geI
your name out there, and you’re
learnIng how Io do IheIr job Ihe
FEATURES August 9, 2012
Looking for a place other than the Staller Steps to get
a Ian? Take a shorI bIke rIde Io WesI Meadow ßeach, EasI
SeIaukeI. ThIs beach sIIs on SmIIhIown ßay and admIssIon
and parking are free for you local Stony Brook students if
youŗve purchased a ßrookhaven resIdenI permII Ior ʙ25,
whIch Is valId Ior Iwo years. WesI Meadow Is a small beach
wIIh rocks and clIƤs, buI Ihere are lIIeguards on duIy Irom
dawn unIIl dusk durIng Ihe summer season. Head here
Ior Ihe sunseI, or sunrIse II you are wIred Irom Ihe nIghI
before, and get in free of charge.
Long ßeach, SmIIhIown, Is a 2U-mInuIe drIve Irom
campus and Is a prIvaIe beach Ior SI. Iames resIdenIs. Dn
IhIs NorIh Shore beach you can swIm In Ihe calm waIers
of the Long Island Sound. But being the brainy little Stony
ßrook sIudenI as you are, head here wIIh a IrIend who lIves
In Ihe vIcInIIy, buy a yearly pass and park down Ihe road
and walk In. Dr head here beIore dawn or aIIer dusk II you
wanI Io geI romanIIc wIIh your summer ƦIng.
Nothing says summer quite like having a cold beer
aIIer a day In Ihe sun or slavIng away aI your summer
internship. And for the Stony Brook hipsters that say they
only drInk locally-brewed beers, hereŗs a lIsI oI IasIy beers
that qualify for your hipster-approved checklist.
PorI IeƤ ßrewIng Company Is based In downIown PorI
IeƤerson. Try Ihe seasonal WhIIeŗs ßeach WII, whIch Is
lIghI enough so you wonŗI Ieel Ioo bloaIed In your summer
gear and has a hInI oI orange. ßeers brewed Irom PorI
IeƤ ßrewIng can be Iound aI ßIllIeŗs on MaIn SIreeI, PorI
IeƤerson. You can hop on Ihe LÌRR Irom SIony ßrook, II Is
only one sIop, or pay a noI-so-reasonable LIndyŗs IaxI Iare
Ior Ihe local booze.
CreaI SouIh ßay ßrewery, ßay Shore, Is a IavorIIe oI
mine. This could potentially be because my local bar has a
ʙ/ CSß on Mondays. ßuI besIdes IhaI, II Is quIIe IasIy and
reIreshIng. Personally, Ì lIke Ihe ßlonde AmbIIIon, whIch Is
a sweeI ßelgIan Ale, and II goes down smooIhly. Tap InIo
your Inner blonde wIIh IhIs beer aI your nexI ßßÇ aIIer
vIsIIIng ßullseye Wholesale ßeverage, SmIIhIown or head
Io El Dorado, PorI IeƤerson SIaIIon.
And Ior you super-hIpsIers, Iry brewIng your own
booze aI home. ßrewerŗs Den, SmIIhIown, supplIes all Ihe
ingredients to do this in your tub for summer moonshine
on IIs websIIe, brewersden.com. Try makIng Ihe ŖŗCone
FIshIngŗŗ beer, and ÌnsIagram your journey so your Iellow
hIpsIer IrIends wIll know how orIgInal you really are.
Cowabunga, babyʖ Long Ìsland Is cooler Ihan you may
have thought. Hurricane season is prime time for surfers
Irom Ihe Island Io come ouI and caIch a Iew waves.
ProIessIonal surIers Irom around Ihe globe caughI waves
Irom HurrIcane KaIIa durIng Ihe ÇuIksIlver Pro New York
compeIIIIon lasI year, whIch was held In Long ßeach. Dn
Ihe easI coasI oI Ihe SIaIes, waves are creaIed by wInd
Irom Ihe AIlanIIc. And on IhIs Island, when Ihe souIhwesI
wInd Is blowIng, Ihe rIdes lasI Iorever.
ÌI you wanI Io surI properly IhIs summer, Iake a IrIp ouI
Io MonIauk. ÌIŗs abouI an hour and a halI away Irom SIony
Brook, and the LIRR does have a train that runs there. In
MonIauk, you wIll Ieel you are away on a beachy holIday,
wIIh local surIers and summer season-lovers ƥllIng Ihe
mIcro Iown. Head Io MonIauk PoInI Ior Ihe qualIIy surƥng
spots. Park at the Montauk Lighthouse and check out Turtles,
a surI spoI on a rocky beach wIIh 1U-IooI hIgh clIƤs, where
you can see Ihe waves break Irom RouIe 27. ßuI TurIles can
become a bII bIIchy. ÌIŗs rocky, whIch means when Ihe wave
breaks, IIŗs donezo.
ThIs area can geI crowded Ioo. So, II you arenŗI IeelIng
TurIles, Iollow Ihe locals Io TurIles Cove. ThIs spoI Is sIIll
oƤ oI RouIe 27 and Is greaI when a sIorm or hurrIcane Is
brewIng. The hurrIcane swell can make you Ieel as II you
are surƥng In Ihe IropIcs. ThIs Is a popular Long Ìsland spoI,
and local surI magazInes head here Ior phoIo shooIs durIng
ÌI you donŗI know how Io surI, or leII your board back
at out-of-state, there are plenty of businesses in Montauk
IhaI Ieach, sell and renI all surƥng producIs. Check ouI AIr
and Speed on MonIauk HIghway Ior lessons and all surI
producIs Io buy or renI. ThIs busIness also oƤers ÇuIksIlver
surf camps during the summer.
BEACH, BOOZE AND BOARDIN’
by Siobhan Cassidy
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
As a SIony ßrook sIudenI, IIŗs always ImporIanI Io
sIay well-InIormed abouI Ihe UnIversIIyŗs polIcIes. To Iry
Io sIudy here wIIhouI undersIandIng how major InsIIIu-
IIons IuncIIon would be lIke drIIIIng aI sea wIIhouI a map.
Personally, Ìŗve always IrIed Io keep IhIngs shIp-shape by
learnIng as much as Ì could, so when a maIe InIormed me
IhaI a new websIIe had been lInked as Ihe ResIdenIIal SaIe-
Iy Programŗs page on SIony ßrookŗs oƧcIal Campus ResI-
dences websIIe, Ì had Io scope II ouI Ior myselI.
UnlIke Ihe old RSP websIIe, IhIs one was on Ihe cuIIIng
edge of technology. Rather than deliver a message through
borIng old words and Images, RSP now conveys IIs mIs-
sIon sIaIemenI and rules Ihrough a whImsIcal Flash vIdeo.
Moreover, wIIhouI any oIher InIormaIIon, save IhIs anImaI-
ed explanaIIon, II was obvIous IhaI all oI RSPŗs secreIs were
burIed InsIde Ihese Iew shorI seconds oI audIo and vIsuals.
So whaI does Ihe vIdeo show? Well, II youŗre noI near
a compuIer and canŗI see II Ior yourselI, allow me Io brIeƦy
explaIn Ihe course oI evenIs. FIrsI, a loud and gravelly voIce
explaIns IhaI vIewers should do whaI Ihey wanI, because
a pIraIe Is Iree. Then, wIIh a loud cry oI řYarr harrʖŚ and
řFIddle-dee-dee,Ś Ihe speaker proceeds Io repeaI hImselI,
on loop, as a band of pirates dance along and blinking let-
Iers explaIn řLDL LÌMEWÌRE.Ś Thereŗs noIhIng else acces-
sIble. ÌIŗs a bold move Ior RSP, an organIzaIIon known across
campus Ior IollowIng rules and generally avoIdIng acIs oI
larceny on the high seas. In fact, no other safety program
at any university in America has policies of free piracy or
websIIes IhaI express Ihemselves solely Ihrough Ihe me-
dium of Macromedia Flash, placing Stony Brook again at
the technological pinnacle of all colleges in America. Pirate
safety programs have been in place in several universities
In Ihe ßalkans, however, so we sIIll have some caIchIng up
to do there.
DI course, IIŗs easy Io wonder II doIng whaI we wanI
Is Ihe besI polIcy, wheIher or noI we are pIraIes. ÌI youŗve
ever seen 1556ŗs acclaImed hIgh seas documenIary Muppet
Treasure Island, youŗll know IhaI Ihe command oI a pIraIIcal
Tim Curry almost causes the death of several classic chil-
dren’s television characters. Plus, the command of pirates
leads Johnny Depp to keep making movies, something that
also seems Io be a dangerous and slIppery slope. However,
Ì suspecI RSP knows whaI Iheyŗre doIng a lIIIle more Ihan
TIm Curry. AIIer all, RSP knows a greaI deal abouI every-
IhIng. Ì had honesIly never realIzed Ì was a pIraIe, buI IIŗs
good to be enlightened. Fiddle-dee-dee, indeed. I’m ready
Io do whaI Ì wanI, RSP. Your message has been receIved.
RSP: RESIDENTIAL SAFETY PIRATES
by Evan Goldaper
Ì had honesIly never realIzed
Ì was a pIraIe, buI IIŗs good
to be enlightened.
CULTURE August 9, 2012
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES
by Tom Johnson
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES
by Tom Johnson
It’s been four years since Christopher Nolan’s The Dark
Knight hit the screens at your local cinema and changed the
way IhaI Ihe general, non-comIc-book-lovIng populaIIon
looked aI ƥlms based on cosIumed vIgIlanIes.
SInce Ihe conclusIon oI Ihe prevIous ƥlm, eIghI years
have passed and ßruce Wayne (ChrIsIIan ßale} has long
sInce hung up hIs cape and cowl. He has been lIvIng In
seclusIon In Wayne Manor, sIIll dIsIraughI aIIer Ihe evenIs
wIIh Harvey DenI and Ihe loss oI love InIeresI Rachel Dawes
at the hand of the notorious Joker.
These days, Gotham is in peace, a rare thing for the city.
ßuI all oI IhIs changes when Ihe new leader oI Ihe League oI
Shadows, ßane (Tom Hardy} arrIves wIIh plans oI IhrowIng
Ihe cIIy InIo chaos, jusI as Raŗs al Chul dId beIore hIm.
ThIs causes Wayne Io go Io measures never beIore seen,
IncludIng IeamIng up wIIh InIamous caI burglar SelIna Kyle
It’s a grim tale from the very start, and that continues
IhroughouI Ihe majorIIy oI Ihe ƥlm. Thereŗs an overarchIng
Iheme oI breakIng down Ihe hope people hold dear, and
you can see II as youŗre exposed Io hopeless sIIuaIIon aIIer
hopeless sIIuaIIon, unsure as Io how Ihe proIagonIsIs can
get out alive, let alone emerge victorious.
ßale once agaIn delIvers a dedIcaIed and worIhwhIle
perIormance as Ihe IIIular Dark KnIghI. However, much as II
was In Ihe prevIous ƥlm, II Is Ihe vIllaIn IhaI sIeals Ihe show
once again. Hardy gives a menacing performance, delivered
wIIh a chIllIng accenI ƥlIered Ihrough hIs respIraIor. Ìn doIng
so, Ihere Is a dIrecI conIradIcIIon beIween Ihe characIerŗs
physIcal and InIellecIual aspecIs, whIch makes hIm all Ihe
more interesting, not to mention frightening.
LeIŗs noI beaI around Ihe bush, ßane Is IuckIng
IerrIIyIng. Heŗs an exIremely powerIul, exIremely eƤecIIve
combatant, and is unbelievably charismatic for someone
whose Iace Is mosIly obscured by a mask. Dn Iop oI IhaI,
heŗs jusI as InIImIdaIIng on an InIellecIual level as he Is on
a physIcal one. A brIllIanI IacIIcIan who, unlIke Ihe Ioker,
wouldnŗI hesIIaIe Io wreck Ihe ßaIman, and would acIually
relish in the idea.
Bane manages to both physically and emotionally
break the Batman, again and again. Leaving him, the city
and the people of Gotham in increasingly dire straits.
Dne oI Ihe Iew IhIngs IhaI Ì can levy a complaInI agaInsI
was Ihe lack oI InvolvemenI oI SelIna Kyle (aka CaIwoman}.
Given all of the hype around the character in the promotional
buIld-up Io Ihe ƥlm, II Is a shame, consIderIng HaIhaway
gave a pretty good performance once she stopped being
Anne HaIhaway and sIarIed playIng SelIna Kyle.
Ioseph Cordon-LevIIIŗs perIormance was execpIIonal
as well, porIrayIng DeIecIIve Iohn ßlake, a young cop wIIh
an unbreakable moral ƥber, remInIscenI oI a young IIm
ClockIng In aI nearly Ihree hours, Ihereŗs a loI oI sIuƤ Io
Iake In, buI IIŗs worIh II. Hell, Ihe clImacIIc ƥnal showdown
beIween ßane and Ihe ßaIman alone Is nearly worIh Ihe
price of admission.
The Dark Knight Rises ulIImaIely gIves us a ƥIIIng end Io
a trilogy seven years in the making. Sure, there are bound
Io be a conIIngenI oI whIny ass-clowns who IhInk Ihe ƥlm
should have ended dIƤerenIly, buI hey, Iuck Ihose guys.
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
AlmosI one Ihousand movIegoers ƥlled Ihe SIaller Cen-
Ier Ior Ihe ArIs maIn sIage IheaIre Ior Ihe sold ouI world
premiere of No God, No Master Io kIck oƤ Ihe 17Ih Annual
SIony ßrook FIlm FesIIval on Iuly 18.
No God, No Master Iells Ihe sIory oI AgenI WIllIam Flynn
(DavId SIraIhaIrn}, FßÌ bomb experI and all around řgood
guyŚ who Is senI Io conducI an InvesIIgaIIon aIIer a serIes
oI bombs are maIled Io numerous U.S. oƧcIals and busI-
nessmen In 1515 New York. As hIs InvesIIgaIIon progresses,
Flynn Is Ihrown InIo a world oI governmenI conspIracIes
and an anarchist plot to destroy democracy. He must de-
IermIne how Io proceed wIIh hIs InvesIIgaIIon when Iaced
wIIh corrupIIon and moral dIlemmas.
SIraIhaIrn gIves whaI very well may be hIs besI per-
Iormance sInce hIs 2UU5 porIrayal oI journalIsIIc legend
Edward R. Murrow In Good Night, and Good Luck. His por-
trayal of Agent Flynn is very earnest, and he makes you
really belIeve IhaI heŗs an honesI FßÌ agenI jusI IryIng hIs
damndesI Io do some good In Ihe world. PaIr SIraIhaIrnŗs
perIormance wIIh Ihe someIImes seeIhIng porIrayal oI Ihe
dubious Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer by veteran ac-
Ior Ray WIse, and youŗve goI someIhIng really specIal.
ÌIŗs clear IhaI Ihe ƥlm Is meanI Io draw parallels wIIh
Issues prevalenI In Iodayŗs socIeIy, albeII nearly 1UU years
aIIer Ihe happenIngs oI Ihe ƥlm. CurrenI evenIs such as Ihe
war on IerrorIsm, Ihe paIrIoI acI, class warIare, as well as In-
creasing and sometimes violent friction against immigrants
by Ihose IhaI wanI Ihem gone are all broughI Io mInd by
Ihe ƥlm. Such ImplIcaIIons were conƥrmed by Ihe ƥlmŗs dI-
recIor, Terry Creen, aIIer Ihe screenIng, who belIeves IhaI
Ihe ƥlmŗs message may řhII close Io homeŚ Ior some.
AsIde Irom a sepIa-Ioned ƥlIer used IhroughouI Ihe en-
IIreIy oI Ihe ƥlm (whIch Ì personally Iound a bII dIsIracIIng
aI ƥrsI}, Ihe ƥlm Is shoI and edIIed very well. There arenŗI
any IasI jump cuIs IhaI you Iend Io see In a loI oI Indepen-
denI ƥlms Ihese days. A shoI never lIngers Ioo long or Ioo
shorI, and everyIhIng Ʀows exIremely well Io Iorm a beau-
tiful, cohesive package.
The aIIenIIon Io deIaIl shown In Ihe makIng oI IhIs ƥlm
is also top notch. As a period piece, the production needed
Io employ Ihe use oI over 6UU perIod-approprIaIe cosIumes,
all oI whIch ƥI perIecIly InIo Ihe world IhaI Ihe ƥlmmak-
ers have crafted. They used period-appropriate vernacular
and slang, as well as havIng ImmIgranIs noI speak Ʀawless
EnglIsh, as eIhnIc Iolk Iend Io do In ƥlms nowadays. There
Is alsoa IaIr bII oI dIalogue IhaI Iakes place beIween ImmI-
granIs IhaI Is enIIrely In ÌIalIan wIIh subIIIles, really addIng
Io Ihe Irue-Io-lIIe aImosphere oI Ihe ƥlm.
The realistic feel and tone is carried throughout the
ƥlm, IncludIng Ihe Iew scenes oI acIIon presenI. CunƥghIs
arenŗI long or drawn ouI wIIh Ihose Involved noI havIng an
InƥnIIe supply oI ammunIIIon. As such, Ihese alIercaIIons
have a Iendency Io end In a bruIal, bare-knuckle brawl aIIer
everyone’s ammunition has been spent, and can be pretty
vIolenI aI IImes. ThaI bruIalIIy can be seen elsewhere, such
as an InIerrogaIIon scene laIer In Ihe ƥlm IhaI acIually had
several audience members around me visibly disturbed.
Even Flynnŗs relaIIonshIp wIIh hIs ImmIgranI neIghbor
ConceIIa (Andrea Crano} and her Ieenage son Tony Is very
realIsIIc and belIevable, wIIh Ihe laIIer IosIerIng a very real
resentment for the man sitting at the head of the table, a
spoI once reserved Ior Ihe boyŗs now deceased IaIher.
It’s easy to see that some people may be rubbed the
wrong way by Ihe message Ihe ƥlm Is IryIng Io send, or be
Iurned oƤ by IIs dour Ione or measured pace as opposed Io
Ihe more IranIIcally-paced blockbusIers oI Ioday. However,
the fact remains that No God, No Master Is a wonderIully
waIchable ƥlm. My only hope Is IhaI II geIs pIcked up by a
good dIsIrIbuIor In Ihe near IuIure so II can geI Ihe wIde-
spread aIIenIIon IhaI a ƥlm oI IhIs calIber deserves.
NO GOD, NO MASTER
by Tom Johnson
CULTURE August 9, 2012
Tyler Perry has changed things up a bit. And I’m not
IalkIng abouI hIs usual gender swIIch-ups. HIs laIesI
comedy Madea’s Witness Protection Is dIrecIed Iowards
more of a Caucasian audience. And the results are not too
ÌIŗs a Wall SIreeI collIdIng wIIh Ihe Deep SouIh
kInd oI ƥlm, as Ceorge Needleman (Eugene Levy}, who
Is an unusually wealIhy accounIanI aI a New York CIIy
InvesImenI bank, suddenly ƥnds hImselI In deep waIer
when he becomes Ihe guy who musI Iake Ihe Iall Ior an
In-house mob PonzI scheme when Ihe sIocks Iake a Iurn Ior
Ihe worsI. SIuck wIIh IakIng Ihe blame Ior hIs colleagues,
Needleman hears more bad news Irom AIlanIa prosecuIor
ßrIan (Tyler Perry} IhaI he needs Io eIIher Iess up Io Ihe
acts he is being accused of or be a sellout and tell the feds
abouI Ihe mob money launderIng IhaI was occurrIng rIghI
under hIs nose, and enIer Ihe wIIness proIecIIon program
along wIIh hIs IamIly, Ior Ihe duraIIon oI Ihe IrIals.
WIIhouI much oI a choIce, Needleman packs up hIs
wIIe and kIds, who are used Io a more lavIsh lIIesIyle, and
agrees Io wIIness proIecIIon arrangemenIs made by ßrIan.
The family is left to stay in the hands of Brian’s Aunt Madea
(Perry} and Uncle Ioe (yup, Perry agaIn}.
And so II begIns. Perry Is ouIrageously wIIIy and
wIse, and II Is easy Io ƥnd yourselI gIgglIng along wIIh hIs
characIers and makIng you wIsh you were a IrIend or IamIly
member of Mrs. Madea.
Perry Iook a dIƤerenI approach wIIh IhIs ƥlm. ÌnsIead
oI changIng Irom a dramaIIc scene Io a comIcal one, whIch
we see hIm do so well In Madea Goes to Jail, Perry teamed
up wIIh Levy Io make a ƥlm IhaI dIdnŗI have a serIous lIne
in the making. At all.
WheIher II be Madeaŗs venIurIng ouI oI Ihe Deep SouIh
Io Ihe ßIg Apple, makIng her way Ihrough aIrporI securIIy
or Ihe IrIcIIon beIween Madea and Ihe spoIled-roIIen kIds,
sIarIIng when son HowIe Is woken up by Madea, IellIng her
she looks lIke řa gIanI bag oI skIIIles,Ś and Madea comIng
back aI hIm sayIng, řYou beIIer geI Ihe hell up, or when Ì
come back up In here youŗre gonna IasIe Ihe raInbow.Ś The
laughs jusI keep on comIng.
Perry, as always, delIvers hIs besI perIormance, wheIher
he Is dressed as a woman In drag, an old grouchy man or
even jusI an average prosecuIor, he makes Ihe ƥlm unlIke
Dne oI Ihe mosI sIrIkIng IhIngs abouI Madea’s Witness
Protection Is IhaI II sIars acIors lIke Eugene Levy, who you
wouldnŗI normally see In a Tyler Perry ƥlm. AI ƥrsI, Levy
seemed a bII awkward, buI as Ihe ƥlm progressed, you
could see Perryŗs ImagInaIIon come Io lIIe. And vIewers
wIIness how brIllIanI he really Is brIngIng Levy InIo Ihe mIx.
The casI was excepIIonal, and complImenIed Perryŗs
work Ʀawlessly. Madea’s Witness Protection, is the most
sIraIghIIorward comedy IeaIure he has produced Io daIe,
yet still remains driven by the same heartfelt and free-
spIrIIed Ideas IhaI make hIs besI work so engagIng.
Madea’s Witness Protection,
Is Ihe mosI sIraIghIIorward
comedy feature [Perry] has
produced to date.
MADEA’S WITNESS PROTECTION
by Nicole Kohn
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
The year 2U12 seems Io be Ihe year Ior Ihe Iamous
CrImm IaIry Iale heroIne, Snow WhIIe. NoI only Is she
a main character in ABC’s Once Upon A Time (CInnIIer
CoodwIn}, a IanIasylcomedy dIrecIed by Tarsen SIngh
Mirror, Mirror was released only a Iew monIhs ago.
Director Rupert Sanders has hopped aboard the boat in
honorIng Ihe IaIry Iale characIer wIIh Snow White and the
Huntsman, released last June.
Starring Twilight acIress KrIsIen SIewarI alongsIde
ChrIs HemsworIh and CharlIze Theron, Snow White and
the Huntsman has a much darker seIIIng, InIeresIIng IwIsIs
of beloved characters and takes a dramatic turn from the
original Disney storyline.
Snow WhIIe (SIewarI} Is sIIll a beloved prIncess
wIIh skIn whIIe as snow, lIps red as blood and haIr dark
as nIghI. However, aIIer Ihe deaIh oI her IaIher, Ihe
orphaned prIncess Is locked In a Iower oI Ihe casIle by
her sIepmoIher, Ihe evIl Çueen Ravenna (Theron}. FearIng
agIng and dyIng, Ihe Çueen Ieeds oƤ young womenŗs
beauIy Io regaIn her youIhIul appearance. When Snow
WhIIe escapes Ihe Iower, Ihe Çueen hIres a hunIsman
(HemsworIh} Io go aIIer her In exchange Ior a Iavor. ßuI,
lIke In Ihe orIgInal Iale, Ihe HunIsman cannoI ƥnd II In hIs
hearI Io kIll Snow WhIIe and InsIead helps her escape Ihe
Çueen Ihen becomIng her IrIend and menIor.
Compared Io Ihe orIgInal sIorylIne, Ihe seven dwarIs
are noI Ihe happy mIners who whIsIle whIle Ihey work,
buI a lIIIle band oI IhIeves wIIh swords and pIck-axes.
But their presence is still essential to the survival of
Snow WhIIe. The audIence learns Ihe Irue reason Ior Ihe
Çueenŗs obsessIon wIIh beauIy, leavIng vIewers wIIh
maybe a lIIIle more sympaIhy Ior Ihe vIllaIn. Also, whaIŗs
a dramaIIc sIorylIne wIIhouI a lIIIle romance? A love
IrIangle Iorms beIween Snow WhIIe, Ihe HunIsman and,
surprise, a prince.
Known Ior her role In Twilight as a plain, clumsy
Ieenage gIrl, SIewarI IransIorms InIo an advenIurous
prIncess wIIh some sIunIs and sword-play. Ìn nearly every
scene she Is runnIng, jumpIng, rollIng on Ihe ground or a
combInaIIon oI all Ihree. LeIŗs jusI say she acIed beIIer as
a rebellious princess than a vampire-obsessed teenager.
MeanwhIle, HemsworIh ax-IhrowIng and jumpIng
mIghI jusI remInd Ihe audIence oI hIs role as Ihe Norse
God Thor in The Avengers. Not to mention, a cute accent is
always a plus Ior Iemale vIewers.
Theron senI shIvers up Ihe spInes oI Ihose who have
seen Ihe IraIler. SIeppIng InIo Ihe shoes oI a woman
obsessed wIIh beauIy and murder, Theron mIghI jusI leave
Ihe audIence wIIh some nIghImares Ior a Iew nIghIs.
Snow White and the Huntsman Is a IreaI Ior Ihose who
enjoy seeIng dIƤerenI versIons oI IheIr IavorIIe IaIry Iale.
ßuI IhIs ƥlm Is deƥnIIely noI a chIldrenŗs movIe. AdulI
scenes and the amount of blood and violence is opposite
oI DIsneyŗs musIcal, anImaIed versIon. SIIll, II was an
enjoyable ƥlm, as long as you IorgeI Ihe Image oI Ihe ƥrsI
DIsney PrIncess oI Ihe 153Uŗs.
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN
by Caithlin Pena
CULTURE August 9, 2012
by Nicole Kohn
ßy now Sacha ßaron Cohenŗs role as a řIunny IoreIgnerŚ
should come as no surprise.
WIIh hIs mercIless carIcaIure oI an Arab IyranI,
Cohen stars as Admiral General Aladeen, the not-so-
compassionate dictator of the north African nation of
WadIya. Thanks enIIrely Io hIs naIIonŗs oIl rIches, Aladeen
lives in a pimped- out mansion, drives a convoy of gold-
plaIed Humvees and wIIh a moIIon oI hIs hand geIs Io send
anyone he desIres oƤ Ior execuIIon. He IsnŗI Ihe sharpesI
Iool In Ihe shed eIIher, as shown when he argues wIIh hIs
counIryŗs Iop nuclear scIenIIsI, NaIal (Iason ManIzoukas},
because he believes the top of his nation’s missile should
be pointy, not round.
When Aladeen Iakes a IrIp Io Ihe UnIIed NaIIons, he
Is beIrayed by hIs Iop general (ßen KIngsley} and dumped
InIo Ihe hands oI a so-called AmerIcan IorIurer (Iohn C.
ReIlly}. Aladeen escapes, mInus hIs beard, and wInds up
makIng IrIends wIIh an unshaven Iree-lovIng acIIvIsI, Zoe
(Anna FarIs}, who runs an organIc grocery sIore In ßrooklyn.
Aladeen soon ƥnds hImselI ploIIIng wIIh NaIal, who he had
supposedly exIled, Io regaIn hIs power. ßuI when II comes
IIme Io ƥghI Ior hIs command, he sIarIs IallIng Ior Zoe
Cohenŗs perIormance was reasonable, buI II was a
perIormance IhaI was expecIed even beIore Ihe prevIews
sIarIed Io roll. There were a Iew Iunny jokes, buI mosI
werenŗI shockIng because Cohenŗs prevIous perIormances
in Borat and Bruno have already shown audIences whaI Io
expecI Irom hIm.
For Cohen, IhIs ƥlm jusI showed audIences IhaI he can
only deliver so much, and it looks like he ran out of humor.
The real sIar oI Ihe ƥlm was FarIs as Zoe. WhIle she may
noI have looked very aIIracIIve wIIh a boyIsh haIrcuI and
a wardrobe IhaI could land her on an epIsode oI WhaI NoI
Io Wear, her Iree-spIrIIed personalIIy worked wonders Ior
her characIer. Zoe was Iar Irom anyIhIng FarIs usually plays,
and II was enjoyable Io waIch her ouI oI her comIorI zone
and sIIll pull oƤ a greaI perIormance.
ManIzoukasŗs perIormance as NaIal was noI only noble
buI genuIne and hIs jokes werenŗI Iorced. Seems Io me IhaI
Ihe only person who dIdnŗI delIver a greaI perIormance
was Ihe maIn characIer hImselI. Looks lIke we need Io ƥnd
ourselves a new dIcIaIor.
For Cohen, IhIs ƥlm jusI
showed audIences IhaI he can
only deliver so much, and it
looks like he ran out of humor.
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
PEOPLE LIKE US
by Arielle Dollinger
Most people my age probably spent Fourth of July
nIghI aI ßßÇs or parIIes, drInkIng IheIr InhIbIIIons away. Ì,
however, was noI InvIIed Io any oI Ihose, so Ì wenI Io Ihe
movIes wIIh my dad.
As it turns out, People Like Us, dIrecIed by Alex KurIzman,
Is Ihe Ieel-good movIe Io enjoy wIIh loved ones.
Sam (ChrIs PIne} Is a IwenIy-someIhIng salesman,
whose over conƥdence and carelessness bury hIm In debI.
He reIurns Io hIs aparImenI Io ƥnd ouI Irom hIs gIrlIrIend
that his father has died. But Sam doesn’t seem to care.
When Sam meeIs wIIh a lawyer Io seIIle hIs IaIherŗs
esIaIe, he ƥnds IhaI hIs IaIher leII hIm noIhIng buI a
shavIng bag IhaI held ʙ15U,UUU In cash and a noIe askIng
hIm Io delIver II Io someone named Iosh, Ihe nephew Sam
never knew he had.
After his father’s death, Sam discovers that he is not an
only chIld, buI has a sIsIer, FrankIe (ElIzabeIh ßanks}. The
ƥlm Is generally hearIwarmIng, a broIher and sIsIer who
never knew Ihe oIher exIsIed meeI and grow closer and
rethink the purpose of family.
The scenes are golden and glowIng. ÌI encapsulaIes
the idea of family, as Sam learns more about Frankie and
rebuIlds hIs relaIIonshIp wIIh hIs moIher.
But those are not the parts that struck me. The aspect
oI Ihe ƥlm IhaI sIruck me was IIs mosI sImple, InnaIe
characIerIsIIc: II Is noI a IypIcal love sIory.
There was no dramaIIc lead-up Io a kIss aI Ihe end. Ìn
IacI, we donŗI see Sam kIss anybody. The male and Iemale
leads do noI Iall In love wIIh each oIher. Ìn People Like Us,
love jusI exIsIs.
Even though her son Josh misbehaves in school, hits a
kId In Ihe head wIIh a IexIbook and geIs expelled, FrankIe
forgives him almost immediately, because she loves him.
Sam loves Josh because he is family, and loves Frankie
Ior Ihe same reason. řLeI me be your broIher,Ś he Iells her,
wanIIng her Io accepI IhIs new-Iound IamIly IIe.
Hannah, Sam’s girlfriend, loves Sam. The couple does
ƥghI and Hannah leaves, buI IheIr relaIIonshIp Is noI over.
Sam calls her when he needs her and Hannah shows up
because of their love for each other.
The audIence Is noI waIIIng Ior Sam Io geI down on one
knee, or to grab Hannah and hug her and tell her that he
wIll never leI her go agaIn. ÌIŗs almosI a gIven IhaI she wIll
be there for him in the end. It is real, serious, committed
love. ÌIŗs noI some ƦeeIIng, lusIIul, Ialse parInershIp IhaI
wIll InevIIably end beIore Ihe credIIs ƥnIsh rollIng.
People Like Us explores a sorI oI love IhaI people
don’t usually talk about — familial love. The bond that
exIsIs beIween parenIs and sIblIngs, aunIs and uncles. The
bond beIween Ihe people Io whom we are IIed Irom bIrIh,
wheIher we lIke II or noI.
And for that, I think People Like Us is brilliant.
Its most simple, innate
characIerIsIIc: II Is noI a
typical love story.
CULTURE August 9, 2012
by Liz Kaempf
Cuns and swords are a IhIng oI Ihe pasI. Well, almosI,
as this summer’s movies seem to have become the stages
Io show oƤ Ihe lesser-employed sporI oI archery. Hawkeye
of Marvel’s The Avengers, Katniss Everdeen of The Hunger
Games and MerIda, Ihe anImaIed sIar oI DIsney-PIxarŗs
Brave, aIm Io gIve Ihe old bow and arrow quIIe Ihe spoIlIghI
In the fresh change of pace of Scottish accents, Brave
depicts to story of an untamed young princess being
IneƧcIenIly IraIned by her moIher so she can become
queen one day. ÌnsIead oI learnIng Io arIIculaIe and projecI
her speech Io a crowded hall oI people, she rIdes her horse
Ihrough Ihe woods Ior hours. And InsIead oI masIerIng
perfect posture and table etiquette she climbs mountains
nexI Io waIerIalls and reIuses Io comb her unruly red haIr.
WIIh her bow and arrow, a bIrIhday presenI Irom her IaIher,
by her side at all times, Merida, voiced by Kelly Macdonald,
Is Ihe rebellIous oldesI chIld whIle her mIschIevous IrIpleI
broIhers pull juvenIle pranks Io IormenI Ihe casIle sIaƤ
and steal desserts.
None of the training is a big deal to Merida until it is
revealed Io her IhaI Ihe oIher clans oI her counIry wIll be
IravellIng Io Ihe casIle wIIh Ihe InIenI oI Ihe oldesI son oI
each clan leader seekIng Io wIn MerIdaŗs hand In marrIage.
The lIIIle say she has In her own IuIure sparks a ƥghI
beIween her and ElInore (Emma Thompson}, Ihe queen, and
leads Io Ihe InevIIable moIher-daughIer showdown durIng
whIch neIIher lIsIens Io whaI Ihe oIher has Io say whIle Ihe
legendary, peg-legged KIng Fergus (ßIlly Connolly} IrIes Io
pacify both sides as the father and the husband.
Thinking herself too young to marry, Merida challenges
Ihe sons In compeIIIIon Ior her own hand, easIly ouImaIchIng
Ihem wIIh her archery skIlls when she readIes her own bow.
But after a harsh reprimand by the queen that severs the
bond beIween moIher and chIld, MerIda Iakes oƤ In Ihe
middle of the night on horseback, defeated and miserable.
ÌI IsnŗI unIIl some IoresI magIc leads her Io a wIIch IhaI she
is able to devise a plan to change her fate. She makes a
deal wIIh Ihe woodcarvIng wIIch (IulIe WalIers} Ior a spell
Io change her moIher In a way IhaI wIll hopeIully make her
more sympaIheIIc Io MerIdaŗs unwanIed currenI sIIuaIIon.
ßuI as any Creek, Norse or ScoIIIsh lore wIll
demonsIraIe, IaIe Is noI easIly changed and Is cruel when
deƥed. The spell backƥres, leavIng Ihe queen In danger and
Merida on a quest to reverse the enchantment before it is
ImpossIble Ior her lIIe Io reIurn Io normalcy. ÌI wIll Iake
strength, cunning and, most importantly, her undeniable
bravery to defeat the magic and monsters, the mistakes she
made and to repair the rip in her family tapestry.
HearIwarmIng scenes oI a moIher and daughIer
bondIng, Ihe humor oI Ihe IrIpleI broIhers execuIIng prank
aIIer prank on Ihe easIly sIarIled sIaƤ and epIc baIIle
scenes beIween skIllIul warrIors and monsIrous bears make
Brave as IhrIllIng as II Is uplIIIIng. The moral oI DIsney-PIxar
anImaIed IeaIures always manage Io hII close Io home and
IhIs ƥlm Is no excepIIon. ÌI remInds vIewers Ihe ImporIance
of listening comprehension skills, something most people
dId noI masIer In Ihe ƥIIh grade, as well as Ihe power oI
And Ihe power oI bears. ÌI IhIs movIe does anyIhIng
above all, II remInds IamIlIes how much moIhers are lIke
bears: always provIdIng Iood and ƥercely proIecIIve.
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
by Dan Cashmar
CULTURE August 9, 2012
I’ve heard Hip-Hop is dead. The claim has been
spewed lIberally by bIIIer gangsIer rap IundamenIalIsIs
as early as ßIggIeŗs deaIh and mosI sIarkly when Kanye
WesI made II accepIable Ior MCs Io don sweaIer vesIs
nearly a decade ago. Now IhaI RIck Rossŗs career has only
skyrocketed after being ousted as a phony, it may have
dIed Ior a cerIaIn crowd.
For a tragic moment, it seemed like Long Island-
born alI-rap pIoneer Aesop Rock was a casualIy. FIve
years wIIhouI a release, a dIvorce, no sIgn oI a Iour and
hIs noIorIous underground label DeƥnIIIve Iux abrupIly
announcIng IIs ceasIng oI operaIIons In 2U1U were noI
comIorIIng sIgns. ßuI jusI as hIs DeI-Iux cohorI El-P dId
IhIs year, Ace has made a comeback wIIh Skelethon, an
expansIve and sonIcally advenIurous LP IhaI noneIheless
sees hIs reIurnIng Io hIs crypIIc-message spIIIIng ways.
Unlike his past releases, Skelethon holds back on
noIhIng excepI Ior conIrIbuIIons. Heŗs made hIs way Io
a new label, produced all hIs own beaIs Ior Ihe ƥrsI IIme
and, oIher Ihan a neglIgIble leII-ƥeld guesI spoI by ex-
Moldy Peaches weIrdo KImya Dawson, Aesop Is Ihe sole
voIce on Ihe 15-Irack album. Though hIs producIIon has
been modestly blossoming over the years, Skelethon
ƥnds hIs poundIng InsIrumenIal and sample-lackIng
beaIs IronI and cenIer. Ace once saId In an InIervIew
IhaI hIs dream collaboraIIon would be Tom WaIIs, and
you can certainly hear his inspiration in the production.
The KImya Dawson-assIsIed Irack řCrows 1Ś sounds lIke
whaI Mr. WaIIs would have come up wIIh II he had grown
up lIsIenIng Io A TrIbe Called ÇuesI.
ßuI whIle hIs whImsIcal lyrIcs do Iake a slIghI sIep
back on IhIs release, Ihereŗs no shorIage oI Ihe wIIIy
punches hIs Ians have grown Io love: řÌ wIsh II was
someIhIng Ì could dIagram on a napkIn l so you wonŗI Ieel
so deIached II II should happen.Ś Though Aesop Rock Is
cerIaInly sIIll a rapper lIke no oIher, IIŗs InIeresIIng how
accessIble he now seems. ÌI may be hIs new maxImal
production ethos, but it’s probably more due to the fact
IhaI Ihe resI oI HIp-Hop has ƥnally caughI up wIIh hIm.
EarlIer IhIs monIh, Frank Dcean wroIe an open leIIer
to his fans through his Tumblr page. It recounted the tale
oI Dceanŗs ƥrsI love, one IhaI changed he way he looked
Dcean had so proIoundly loved a man who dIdnŗI
love hIm back. He ran away Irom hIs home In New Dr-
leans after Hurricane Katrina hit. It’s safe to say that
Frank Dcean Is no sIranger Io paIn. And IhaI emoIIon Is
clear In every song on hIs new album Channel Orange.
ÌIŗs reIreshIng, IhaI In a IIme when men In RBß are so
apt on appearing rugged and manly, that one can so ac-
curaIely express hImselI.
řThInkIn ßouI You,Ś Ihe debuI song, bears a resem-
blance Io Ihe leIIer Dcean wroIe hIs Ians. ßoIh are abouI
haunting, unrequited love. The chorus is catchy enough,
but the lyrics really make this song one of his more mem-
ßuI none oI hIs songs Iruly show who Frank Dcean
Is lIke řßad RelIgIon.Ś The song deals wIIh hIs homosexu-
ality, and the opposition he faces because of it. “I can
never make Ihem love me,Ś he sIngs, as he explaIns IhaI
people cursed him for being himself.
řSweeI LIIe,Ś wIIh IIs caIchy chorus, asks why Ihe
rIch need Io lIve IheIr lavIsh lIIesIyle and canŗI jusI enjoy
Ihe sImpler IhIngs In lIIe. řSuper RIch KIds,Ś abouI braIIy
children, basically does the same. Both songs plead for
people Io express IheIr Irue emoIIons InsIead oI puIIIng
up a IronI, someIhIng Dcean hImselI Is no sIranger Io.
DIher songs IhaI are equally noIeworIhy are řPInk
MaIIer,Ś whIch IeaIures DuIkasI member Andre 3UUU,
and řPyramIds,Ś a Ien-mInuIe long song IhaI paInIs a
picture of Cleopatra on her throne.
ÌIŗs no wonder IhaI crIIIcs are haIlIng Channel Dr-
ange as one of the best, if not the best albums of the
summer. All 17 Iracks are Ihe perIecI blend oI emoIIon
and caIchIness. ÌI was Frank Dcean hImselI who saId
IhaI, řwhen youŗre happy you enjoy Ihe musIc, buI when
youŗre sad, you undersIand Ihe lyrIcs.Ś Dceanŗs new al-
bum Is Ihe rare example oI one IhaI can delIver on boIh
- TEENA NAWAßÌ
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
The Gaslight Anthem - Handwritten
SprIngsIeen IanaIIcs Iurned punks The CaslIghI AnIhem are back wIIh IheIr
fourth LP, Handwritten. Fans oI Ihe band wIll recognIze IheIr sIgnaIure bluesy
overIones, buI Ihe raw edge IhaI came wIIh sIIckIng Io smaller labels Is gone.
Now, sheddIng Ihe power chords and double IIme IhaI lenI Ihem IheIr old edge,
Iheyŗre adopIIng a bIgger, slower sound. Echoes oI ßon IovI pop up here and
Ihere In anIhemIc arena-rockers, whIle Van MorrIson rears hIs head In a řsha-
laŚ chorus on řHere Comes My Man.Ś SurprIsIngly, Handwritten reaches IIs apex
wIIh Ihe acousIIc closer, řNaIIonal AnIhem,Ś a lonesome Tom PeIIy-esque croon-
er about saying goodbye to the person you love. Unfortunately, the recording
sIyle Is occasIonally a lIIIle over Ihe Iop. Ìs II overproduced? Yes. Do we IuckIng
love it? You bet.
The Dirty Projectors - Swing Lo Magellin
The DIrIy ProjecIorsŗ sevenIh sIudIo album IeeIers on Ihe edge oI balance,
keepIng Ihe lIsIener jusI ouI oI IheIr comIorI zone wIIh dIscordanI sounds IhaI
Ihey cannoI place ŕ one beIng a conIInuous loop oI ƥngers IappIng on a guIIar
whIle Ihe rIse and Iall oI Dave LongsIreIh, Amber CoƤman and Haley Dekleŗs
voIces hold IheIr aIIenIIon In a vIce. ßuI Ihe overwhelmIng Ʀow presenI In each
and every song, and IhroughouI Ihe enIIre album IIselI, Iakes Ihe ProjecIorŗs
sound Io a new level. ÌI cannoI be easIly be mIsIaken Ior jusI anoIher weIrd prog-
rock experImenI, unlIke IheIr prevIous album, Mount Wittenberg Orca, a collabo-
raIIon wIIh ßjork based on 2UU5ŗs Bitte Orca. It is the perfect solution to this
summerŗs heaI, as each song you lIsIen Io raIses your cool IacIor by Iwo degrees.
Purity Ring - Shrines
PurIIy RIng, yeI anoIher boylgIrl elecIronIca duo Io emerge In recenI memo-
ry, ƥnally comes ouI wIIh a Iull-lengIh debuI aIIer more Ihan a year oI lIberally
distributing MP3s across the Internet. The Canadian pair lifts the best aspects
of their contemporaries — Crystal Castle’s raucous synths, Sleigh Bell’s tuneful
melodies, and the Knife’s dark and poppy drum patterns — to form a simultane-
ously retro and futuristic sound on one of the most addicting releases so far this
OPINION August 9, 2012
ßrIghI-eyed and puzzled, an Image oI Lennox, Ihe ßel-
IasI dog whose legal baIIle Io sIay alIve receIved InIerna-
IIonal coverage, plasIered IelevIsIon broadcasIs and news-
papers as he was puI Io sleep lasI Wednesday, Iuly 13 for
allegedly IallIng under Ihe řPIIbull TerrIerŚ Iype, under
UKŗs Dangerous Dogs AcI oI 1557.
Lennox was seIzed by ßelIasI dog wardens In AprIl,
2U1U and kepI In a dog kennel Ior abouI Iwo years, durIng
whIch IIme hIs owner, CarolIne ßarnes IrequenIed courI-
rooms In an eƤorI Io regaIn cusIody oI her dog. ßarnes
claImed IhaI Lennox was noI a PIIbull TerrIer mIx, buI a
ßulldog mIx whIch, Is permIIIed under NorIhern Ìreland ju-
The acI was ƥrsI InIroduced In 1551 amId a surge oI dog
aIIack sIorIes In Ihe news. Ìn 1585, 11-year-old Kelly Lynch
oI ScoIland had been mauled and kIlled by Iwo RoIIweIlers
when she and a IrIend had losI conIrol oI Ihem durIng IheIr
walk. Two years laIer, sIx-year-old Rukhsana Khan suƤered
crIIIcal InjurIes aIIer beIng aIIacked by a PIIbull IerrIer. She
survived the attack. After these, and other noted assaults,
the Parliament of the UK passed a necessary legislation to
help combat future confrontations.
The laws IargeIed Iour maIn Iypes, and Lennox Iell un-
der Ihe PIIbull TerrIer caIegory. WhaI makes Ihe amend-
ment questionable is that it do not ban dogs solely based
on breed. The dogs are placed In řIypesŚ and II Ihey are
deemed as aggressive or predatory, then they can be eu-
IhanIzed and IheIr owners can Iace possIble jaIl IIme. The
act also mandates that any such canines on public prop-
erIy musI wear a muzzle aI all IImes. ThIs was Ihe case Ior
anoIher hIgh-proƥle řdangerousŚ dog, Dempsey. Ìn 1552,
owner DIanne Fanneran was walkIng her PIIbull when
she saw IhaI he was Ill. She Iook oƤ Ihe resIraInI and leI
Dempsey vomII, jusI beIore auIhorIIIes arrIved Io Iake Ihe
dog. But Dempsey’s story has a happier ending as she is
laIer reunIIed wIIh her owner.
DogsßIIe.org, an organIzaIIon dedIcaIed Io documenI-
Ing all dog aIIacks reporIs IhaI over 5U percenI oI all aIIacks
in the United States involve a Pitbull type. The National
Health Service of the UK reports that dog attack causalities
have gone up 5/ percenI In Ihe pasI 1U years.
The case oI Lennox remaIns conIroversIal, even wIIh
his death as the public questions the ethics behind the Bel-
IasI CIIy CouncIl. ÌI Lennox had In IacI been a pII bull IerrIer
Iype, dId Ihe owner ßarnes noI have Ihe rIghI Io be pres-
enI durIng Ihe euIhanIzaIIon? The councIl InsIead opIed Io
have Lennoxŗs ashes senI Io hIs owner.
by Bushra Mollick
Dnce agaIn Ihere has been more quarrelIng beIween
relIgIous aƧlIaIIons, conservaIIve polIIIcIans and
respecIed medIcal auIhorIIIes over bIrIh conIrol. However,
IhIs IIme Ihe ƥghI Is over Ihe raIher Ihe IIny 1U-poInI IonI
that is typed on the instructions for various birth control
The InserI InsIde nearly every box oI mornIng-aIIer
pIlls, whIch are used wIdely Io prevenI pregnancy aIIer
sex, say Ihey may work by blockIng IerIIlIzed eggs Irom
ImplanIIng In a womanŗs uIerus.
Doesn’t sound like there should be a problem, right?
Well, varIous relIgIous ouIleIs and conservaIIve
polIIIcIans say oIherwIse. ßased on Ihe belIeI IhaI a egg
Is alIve aI Ihe poInI oI IerIIlIzaIIon, IIŗs beIng argued IhaI
dIsrupIIng a IerIIlIzed eggŗs abIlIIy Io aIIach Io Ihe uIerus Is
WhaI Is mInd-bogglIng Is Ihe IacI IhaI Ihese pIlls do
noI prevenI IerIIlIzed eggs Irom aIIachIng, buI block IheIr
creation completely. The reason that conservatives are
cryIng řmurderŚ In regards Io Ihe pIll could sIem Irom Ihe
FDA’s decision regarding the package inserts mentioning
outdated information that the FDA had during the drug-
approval process regarding the idea that the medication
prevenIs eggs Irom ImplanIIng. ScIenIIsIs say Ihe pIlls work
up Io ƥve days aIIer sex, prImarIly sIallIng an eggŗs release
unIIl II can no longer be IerIIlIzed.
ThIs raIses Ihe age-old quesIIon, when does lIIe begIn?
Proposals have been puI Iorward In several sIaIes Io
deƥne a IerIIlIzed egg as Ihe begInnIng oI lIIe, prompIIng
Ihe FDA Io rewrIIe Ihe InserIs.
A IerIIlIzed egg is the start of the pregnancy cycle, but
emergency birth control, as seen by skeptics, makes it seem
like all forms of contraceptives are abortion even though
there are other reasons to take them, such as regulating
hormones and menstrual cycles.
Ì respecI Ihe relIgIous organIzaIIons and IheIr rIghIs Io
choose whaI Ihey belIeve In, buI please, donŗI shun oIher
people who decIde Io belIeve and do someIhIng dIƤerenI.
ßIrIh conIrol Is sImply a means Io prevenI pregnancy, whIch
In Iurn, could prevenI Ihe aborIIons IhaI would lIkely occur
due to accidental pregnancy.
NoI only IhaI, buI pregnancy Is where a woman Is
ImplanIed wIIh a IerIIlIzed egg. No IerIIlIzed egg, no
pregnancy. ßIrIh conIrol Is prevenIIng Ihe IerIIlIzed egg
Irom exIsIIng, IhereIore, Ihere Is noIhIng Io be ImplanIed.
Abortion is not a result of taking contraceptives, if
anything contraceptives are a preventative.
Rewriting the Tiny
Font on Birth Control
by Brianna Peterson
Vol. XXXIII, Issue 15
Stony Brook Athletics has seen some impressive sport-
Ing accomplIshmenIs In Ihe pasI Iew monIhs, buI none
come close Io Lucy Van Dalenŗs olympIc qualIƥcaIIon.
The Stony Brook alumnus graduated in May, alongside
her IwIn sIsIer and Iellow aIhleIe Holly, and has sInce been
travelling around the United States to race. From the re-
gIonal qualIƥers In IacksonvIlle, FlorIda Io Ihe NCAA Cham-
pIonshIps In Des MoInes, Ìowa, Van Dalen was provIng
sIrengIh In every race. ÌI wasnŗI unIIl a Irack meeI In New
Iersey IhaI she sIarIed shavIng seconds oƤ her 15UU-me-
Ier IIme, droppIng down Io /:U8. Van Dalen ƥnally goI Ihe
race she was hopIng Ior In San DIego wIIh a paced race or-
ganIzed Ior prospecIIve DlympIans. ComIng In IhIrd, Van
Dalen reached a remarkable IIme oI /:U5:76 ŕ well under
Ihe qualIIyIng sIandard oI /:U7.
When asked abouI her reacIIon Io gaInIng a spoI on Ihe
New Zealand olympIc Ieam, Van Dalen saId IhaI she was
“absolutely elated after running the olympic qualifying
And how could she noI be? Van Dalen Is now joInIng a
long and proud IradIIIon oI KIwI olympIc mIddle-dIsIance
runners. From Ihe power and sIrengIh oI PeIer Snell (gold
In Ihe 15UUm and 8UUm aI Ihe 156/ DlympIcs} Io Ihe
graceIul speed oI Iohn Walker (gold In Ihe 15UUm aI Ihe
1576 DlympIcs} and mosI recenIly, Ihe ßeIjIng sIlver med-
alIsI, NIck WIllIs.
The 23-year-old saId IhaI qualIIyIng Ior Ihe DlympIcs
has been her dream, but that it’s not often the perfect qual-
ifying race comes along.
“So many things must come together at the right time
Ior a race Io go perIecIly, and IhaI nIghI Ihey dId,Ś Van
Dalen said through an email.
As an alumnus, Van Dalen wIll no longer be represenI-
ing Stony Brook in her running, a transition that is greeted
wIIh sadness, accordIng Io Van Dalen.
“Finishing up at Stony Brook and completing my NCAA
career was a sad momenI Ior me as Ì have enjoyed my ƥve
years Immensely,Ś Van Dalen saId. řMy IIme aI SIony ßrook
has prepared me Ior IhIs season In my lIIe, so Ì wIll always
be IhankIul Ior IhaI.Ś
řÌ know Cod has Ihe plan sorIed and IhIngs wIll sorI
ouI In IIs own IImIng,Ś saId Van Dalen, when asked abouI
her posI-games plans. řFor now, Ì am jusI IocusIng on Ihe
SIony ßrook AIhleIIcs recognIzed Van Dalenŗs conIrIbu-
tion to the university’s sporting name at the end of year
aIhleIIcs banqueI ŕ recenIly IIIled řThe Wolƥes.Ś IIm FIo-
re, Stony Brook’s athletics director, alongside Andy Ronan,
Ihe Irack and ƥeld coach, acknowledged Van Dalenŗs ouI-
standing performance at the NCAA Indoor Championships
where she won Ihe mIle. ThIs was SIony ßrookŗs ƥrsI na-
ÌI Is wIIh IhIs knowledge IhaI one musI wonder wheIh-
er SIony ßrook wIll be hosI Io such an ouIsIandIng aIhleIe
agaIn. We can saIely say, however, IhaI Ihere wIll be plenIy
oI prIde and a lIIIle bII oI boasIIng as we waIch Van Dalen
compeIe Ior her home counIry aI Ihe 2U12 DlympIc Cames.
RUN, LUCY, RUN!
by Olivia Burne
“My time at Stony Brook has
prepared me for this season in my
lIIe, so Ì wIll always be IhankIul Ior
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