Ce – Cerium: Discovered shortly after the asteroid

Periodic Table of the Elephants
© 2012, Don Stewart

Ceres, which was named for the Roman goddess of grains.

Cs – Cesium: Liquid at room temperature. More useful
in atomic clocks than on salads.

Ac – Actinium: A thespian elephant, acting in the glow
of the spotlight. Greek aktinos, ray.

Cl – Chlorine: The Cyclopian mythos is said to have
grown from the discovery of an elephant skull.

Al – Aluminum: Now in the convenient six pach. Am – Americium: A flag-waving patriot. Sb – Antimony: The antithesis of currency? (Gr. anti
+ monos: metal not found alone. L. stlbium, mark.)

Cr – Chromium: (Gr. chroma, color). A decorative
metal, used to color glass and create durable, shining alloys.

Co – Cobalt: From the German kobold, devil. Like
nickel, this element interfered with the refining process of more valuable metals.

Ar – Argon: (Gr. argos, inactive) Not here anymore. As – Arsenic: A view from the rear. (Syrian Azzarnika, gold pigment)

Cu – Copper: (Latin cuprum, for the ancient mines on
the isle of Cyprus).

At – Astatine: (Gr. astatos, unstable) A classic windup toy, with no sense of direction.

Cm – Curium: Not to be confused with Helium. Named
in honor of Marie Curie.

Ba – Barium: (Gr. barys, heavy) As opposed to
crematin’ em.

Db – Dubnium: Named for Dubna, in Russia, where it
was created. (knighthood)

Bk – Berkelium: Named for the University of California, Berkeley. Peace, man. Be – Beryllium: Barrelium? Also called Glucinium,
historically identified by its sweet taste (Gr. beryllos, sweet). Don’t try this at home – the element is quite toxic.

Dy – Dyspro(bo)sium: A dysfunctional proboscis. (Gr.
dysprositos, difficult to obtain)

Es – Einsteinium: A toast to Albert: One beer mug (Ein
Stein), and 99 bottles…

Er – Erbium: The beginning of a radiant herb garden. Eu – Europium: You lasso ‘em. (Apologies to the E.U.) F – Fluorine: (L. fluere, flux or flow) Essential to
proper tuskal hygiene.

Bi – Bismuth: Time-tested ingredient in a common
stomach medication, known for its bright pink color.

Bh – Bohrium: Nothing boring about Bohr. B – Boron: (Arabic buraq) Brace and bit in hand, this
elephant is “boring” into the aluminum cans can below.

Fm – Fermium: In honor of Enrico Fermi, who may or
may not have found fur fashionable.

Br – Bromine: Brooming? This halogen stinks (Gr.
bromos, stench), but is used widely in cleaning compounds.

Fr – Francium: You want fries with that? Ga – Gallium: Discovered by Lecoq de Boisbaudran, a
Frenchman. Latin Gallia (France), and gallus (rooster).

Cd – Cadmium: Found as an impurity in zinc
carbonate (L. cadmia), and widely used in rechargeable batteries.

Gd – Gandolfinium (Gadolinium): Named for Finnish
chemist Gadolin. Thaumaturgical liberties were taken in the translation.

Ca – Calcium: Drink your milk, for strong bones and
tusks.

Ge – Germanium: Of immense practical use in lenses,
semiconductors, and electronics, but not lederhosen.

Cf – Californium: Lights! Camera! (radio)Action! C – Carbon: Carbon Dating – a reliable service for
over 5000 years.

Au – Gold: Latin aurum, not to be confused with auris (ear). Ha – Hafnium: Hafnia, the Latin name for Stockholm – home
of The Great L. Phantini, magician extraordinaire.

Hs – Hassium: From the German state of Hessen.
Home of the Hessians.

Mo – Molybdenum: (Gr. molybdos, lead) Blue jeans,
made in Mali.

He – Helium: This Is La Place. (Gr. helios, sun.) Ho – Holmium: Elemental, my dear Watson. Holmia,
another Latin name for Stockholm, native city of Cleve, who is credited with the element’s discovery along with Swiss chemists Delafontaine and Soret.

Nd – Neodymium: A dime novel, or, the New Twin. Ne – Neon: In other words, on the knee. Np – Neptunium: After Neptune, the god of the sea. Ni – Nickel: A rare numismatic variant. (German
Kupfernickel, “copper demon”)

H – Hydrogen: Literally, to make water. In – Indium: The Hindu deity Ganesh. Atomic Number
49 is noted in Sanskrit.

Nb – Niobium: Daughter of Tantalus, who paid for her
pride with the death of her family. She continued to cry, even after the gods turned her to stone.

I – Iodine: Iodine, you dine. We all dine with iodized sodium chloride. (Gr. iodes, violet) Ir – Iridium: From the Latin iris (rainbow), for its manycolored salts. Hats off to Van Gogh.

N – Nitrogen: A nocturnal Trojan elephant. No – Nobelium: No bell. Os – Osmium: A smelly metal, used in pen points. O – Oxygen: (Gr. oxys, sharp + genes, create: acid
former) And a good thing to keep in your trunk.

Fe – Iron: (L. ferrum.) Common metal, historically used
to flatten clothing.

Kr – Krypton: (Gr. kryptos, hidden) A bird? A plane?
An elephant?

Pd – Palladium: Named for the Greek goddess Pallas Athena;
the knight (Paladin) made a better picture.

La – Lanthanum: A thpear-thrower, with a lithp.
From the Greek lanthanein, to lie hidden. Originally found hiding in impure cerium nitrate.

P – Phosphorus: (Gr. light bearing) Venus, when it
rises before the sun, or a comforting glow in the dark.

Lr – Lawrencium, of Arabia. Actually named for
Ernest O. Lawrence, inventor of the cyclotron.

Pt – Platinum: Spanish platina, decorative silver plates,
or colloquial English for decorative silver hair.

Pb – Lead: (L. Plumbum). One of the seven
alchemical elements, its symbol adorns this plumber’s pockets.

Pr – Praseodymium: The “Green Twin”. (See
Neodymium.)

Pu – Plutonium: Not condemned to the underworld,
just the dog house.

Li – Lithium: An archaeological record, cast in stone
(from the Greek lithos).

Po – Polonium: For Poland, native country of Mme.
Curie. A casual addition to a glowing wardrobe.

Lu – Lutetium: Lutetia , ancient L. name for the city
of Paris, an historic haven for lute players.

K – Potassium: Pot ash. (L. kalium, alkali) Pm – Promethium: For Prometheus, who brought fire
from the heavens.

Mg – Magnesium: Lightweight metal, used in making
“mag” wheels. These are usually kept in the trunk.

Mn – Manganese: The magnetic pictographs of the
legendary and wholly fictitious Mangans.

Pa – Protactinium. (Gr. protos + aktinos: first ray) Get
out your protractor.

Md – Mendelevium: A periodical, in honor of a
renowned table-maker.

Ra – Radium: As heard on the radio, this element
produces X-rays – one of the first practical uses for atomic radiation.

Mt – Meitnerium: Named for Lise Meitner, the
unsung discoverer of nuclear fishin’.

R – Radon: Egyptian sun god Ra. Originally called
niton, from the Latin, to shine. Calls to mind Niton Shining Armor, or some such nonsense (see Dubnium)

Hg – Mercury: Would two of these be dimers?

Re – Rhenium: (L. Rhenus, the Rhine.) Such
nomenclature sounds a bit stuffy. Why not just call it Rhineum?

Tc – Technetium: Technically speaking, the first
artificial element. Radioactive with a short half-life, natural Technetium disappeared long ago. What does this computer have to do with elephants? Nothing, really, although this one has a long memory, and is unafraid of the mouse.

Rh – Rhodium: (Gr. rhodon, rose) Could this be a rose
scholar?

Rb – Rubidium: (L. rubidus, deep red) Found in
California, Michigan and Manitoba, but not in Kansas.

Te – Tellurium: Forms Tellurides, often in downhill
reactions. (Gr. tellus, earth.)

Ru – Ruthenium: (L. Ruthenia, Russia) We couldn’t
pass up an alternative pun, a tribute to Babe Ruth.

Tb – Terbium: Another of the elements named for its
discovery near Ytterby, Sweden. For the record, not many people wear turbans there.

Rf – Rutherfordium: Assuming one has a preference
in vehicle manufacturers. Apologies to New Zealand physicist Ernest R. Rutherford.

Tl – Thallium: (Gr. thallos, green shoot, for its green
spectrographic signature.) Here Thalia, the muse of comedy, holds a green stem of grain.

Sm – Samarium: Obtained from the mineral
Samarskite, named in honor of a certain Russian mine official, Colonel Samarski. We don’t know what kind of hat he wore.

Tm – Thulium: The legendary northland of Thule. Th – Thorium: Named for the Norse god Thor. Sn – Tin: A tin soldier, with a tin horn. (L. stannum) Ti – Titanium: Named for the Titans, as was the Titanic.
Going down?

Sc – Scandium: Once thought to be found only in
Scandia (L. for Scnandinavia) Still scanning for other sources.

Sg – Seaborgium: An oceanographic cyborg. Forgive
us, Dr. Seaborg. Resistance was futile.

W – Tungsten: (Swedish, tung sten, heavy stone; Ger.
Wolfram.) This tongue is wolfing down ice cream.

Se – Selenium: (Gr. Selene, moon). Only two puns
came to mind: “sell” and “seal”. The Great Elephant Seal is a pun in itself – we couldn’t resist.

U – Uranium: For a change of weather, see Protactinium. V – Vanadium: Named for the Norse goddess Vanadis.
This van is on its way to Berkelium.

Si – Silicon: We had to put the elephant jokes
somewhere. Silly. Con.

Xe – Xenon: (Gr. xenon, stranger) What could be
stranger than an elephant warrior princess?

Ag – Silver: Hi-Yo! (Chemical symbol Ag is from
argentum, Latin for Kemosabe.)

Yb – Ytterbium: Named for the Swedish village of
Ytterby. Fortunately, there is no M, C, or A - tterbium.

Na – Sodium: Salted. St – Strongium: Strontium to purists, named for
Strontian, a town in Scotland, a country known for publicly demonstrating feats of strength.

Y – Yttrium: YTTR - You Think This is Rough? One of
the four elements named for Ytterby, Sweden.

S – Sulfur: Surfer, dude? Okay, we’re reaching on this
one. The alchemical notation makes a great design, however.

Zn – Zinc: The pun is obvious. The alchemical symbol
may be more obscure.

Zr – Zirconium: (Persian zargun, gold like.) This is
the cubic variety.
Don Stewart is a former physician-turned-visual humorist who has
nothing better to do than think up this sort of academically-oriented silliness. He ponders Life, the Universe, and Elephants from the DS Art Studio in Birmingham, Alabama, and online at www.DSArt.com. 1-800-372-7864

Ta – Tantalum: For Tantalus, son of Zeus and father of
Niobe. He was forever “tantalized” with food and water – always out of reach. (Talntalum and Niobium occur together in nature).

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