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life. and how to have one.

// february 17, 2011

RULES OF ATTRACTION
How to Make a connection witH tHat special soMeone

@SOCIALMEdIAAddICT
# are students wasting too much time on the internet?

curbside convenience makes recycling easier for students

dITCh ThE dUMpSTER

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* COvEr phOTO By JErry WANg

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FEBRUARY 17, 2011 // volume 8, issue 19

How we Met
hOW AN OLd-FAShiONEd SpOrT SpArkEd A mOdErN-dAy rOmANCE

5 6 10 13

UnHealtHy FoUndation?
BrEAkiNg dOWN myThS ABOuT mAkEup

Key oF Knowledge tHRowing SHadeS
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2

CALENDAR
THURS | FEB 17TH THEoloGy on TAp Henry’s on Eighth, 5:30 p.m. THE JunkyARd JAzz BAnd American Legion, 7 p.m., free ScARy lARRy kAnSAS BikE polo Edgewood Park, 7 p.m., free, all ages JAzz QuinTET Ingredient, 7 p.m., free, all ages ku SyMpHony oRcHESTRA Lied Center, 7:30 p.m., $5-$7 TEnniS, HolidAy SHoRES, SoFT REEdS Jackpot Music Hall, 8 p.m. cAMpuS MoviE – TAnGlEd Woodruff Auditorium, 8 p.m., free-$3, all ages FRI | FEB 18TH
THE GlEAnERS, MEATFlowER Replay Lounge, 6 p.m. opEn Mic And JAM Cross Town Tavern, 7 p.m., free, 21+ JoSH RiTTER wiTH ScoTT HuTcHinSon (FRiGHTEnEd RABBiT) Liberty Hall Cinema, 7 p.m., $19-$21, all ages FRidAy niGHT AT THE kino: “okno v pARizH” (window To pARiS) Jayhawk Boulevard, 7 p.m., 18+ loAdEd FoR BEAR Lawrence Arts Center, 8 p.m., $6, 18+ vidEo JERRy/dJ JoHn Slow Ride Roadhouse, 9 p.m., 21+ FREE coSMic BowlinG Kansas Union, 10 p.m, free

SAT | FEB 19TH williAM inGE’S BuS STop Lied Center, 7:30 p.m., $10-$28, all ages lAwREncE JEwiSH FilM FESTivAl “BlESSEd iS THE MATcH: THE liFE And dEATH oF HAnnAH SEnnESH” Lawrence Jewish Community Center, 7:30 p.m. kpR JAzz concERT Pachamama’s, 8 p.m., $10, 21+ loAdEd FoR BEAR Lawrence Arts Center, 8 p.m., $6, 18+ Gold lABEl Soul Eighth Street Tap Room, 9:30 p.m., $3, 21+ cAMpuS MoviE – TAnGlEd Woodruff Auditorium, 8 p.m., free-$3

SUN | FEB 20TH GHoST TouRS oF kAnSAS llc, pSycHic Fun And FEAST Blind Tiger, 5 p.m., $50, 12+ ScARy lARRy kAnSAS BikE polo Edgewood Park, 7 p.m., free, all ages SMAckdown! Bottleneck, 7:30 p.m., free-$5, 18+

MON | FEB 21ST BAckuS lEcTuRE: “FRoM diSBEliEF To dEniAl: wESTERn RESponSE To SoviET coMMuniST cRiMES,” dARiuSz To Kansas Union, 7 p.m. FREE ARGEnTinE TAnGo opEn pRácTicA (pRAcTicE) Signs of Life, 8 p.m., free, all ages

TUES | FEB 22ND lonniE RAy opEn JAM Slow Ride Roadhouse, 6 p.m. FAnTASTic Slow cookER REcipES Bayleaf Culinary Center, 6:30 p.m., $45 ScARy lARRy kAnSAS BikE polo Edgewood Park, 7 p.m., free, all ages TuESdAy niTE SwinG Kansas Union, 8 p.m., free, all ages livE JAzz @ THE cASBAH Burger Stand at the Casbah, 9 p.m., free, 21+ MillionyounG Replay Lounge, 10 p.m.

wED | FEB 23RD THE AMERicAnA MuSic AcAdEMy BEGinnERS JAM Americana Music Academy, 7 p.m., free, all ages BRAdEn R. AllEnBy: “Mind, Body, MAcHinE: HuMAn dESiGn SpAcE 2” The Commons, Spooner Hall, KU, 7 p.m., free, all ages ABE viGodA/wild noTHinG/cvlTS Jackpot Music Hall, 8 p.m., all ages dollAR BowlinG Royal Crest Bowling Lanes, 9 p.m., $1, all ages noRTH MiSSiSSippi AllSTARS Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $16, all ages cASBAH kARAokE! Burger Stand at the Casbah, 10:30 p.m., free, 21+

THE BOTTLENECk 737 NEW HAMPSHIRE ST. THE JACkPOT MUSIC HALL 943 MASSACHUSETTS ST. THE JAzzHAUS 926 1/2 MASSACHUSETTS ST. THE REPLAY LOUNGE 946 MASSACHUSETTS ST. THE EIGHTH ST. TAPROOM 801 NEW HAMPSHIRE ST. LAwRENCE ARTS CENTER 940 NEW HAMPSHIRE ST.

THE GRANADA 1020 MASSACHUSETTS ST. THE POOL ROOM 925 IOWA ST. wILDE’S CHATEAU 24 2412 IOWA ST. DUFFY’S 2222 W. 6TH ST. CONROY’S PUB 3115 W. 6TH ST., STE. D HENRY’S ON EIGHTH 11 E. EIGHTH ST.

I was at a bar several weeks ago talking with a group of people when a friend of mine — after spotting a buddy of ours in need — stopped the conversation we were having to rush to his aid. The problem that needed to be resolved? Our friend was standing aimlessly in the middle of a dance floor filled with beautiful girls, none of whom he would talk to or dance with on his own. “It’s wingman time,” my friend announced as he put out his cigarette and took a swig of whiskey with the red-faced swagger of Winston Churchill at a Sunday brunch. He then disappeared into the crowd of gyrating hips, dancing to the R&B classics that have brought men and women together since R. Kelly discovered there was nothing wrong with a little “bump n’ grind.” The girls in our group looked puzzled. One of them asked, “What’s the role of a wingman?” It was a simple enough question. We tried our best to explain the importance of the wingman in situations like these:

“A wingman is like the Samwise Gamgee of breaking the ice. Frodo may have the power of the Ring, but he cannot make the trek to Mordor alone...” In all honesty, attraction and seduction are hard games to play. The wingman, or woman, helps create an opening for the friend to start a conversation with the person in whom they are interested. The history of the wingman probably goes as far back as ancient Greece when Hermes strapped on his wing-tipped shoes to inform mortal women that Zeus would be paying them a visit. Don’t quote me on that though. All I know is that Icarus was a terrible wingman. My friend, however, offers proof that — if done right — a wingman can be a useful tool to help you break the ice with a potential new date. It took him less than 15 minutes to swing in, save the night and then back out so our buddy could dance with the girl he just met. By the time the bar closed, our friend had a new number in his phone. Becca Harsch’s feature, “The Art of Seduction,” starting on page 8, gives helpful advice and insight on how to act when introducing yourself to that crush you’ve had your eye on for awhile. And if you see your friend struggling to talk with someone he or she is interested in, finish that drink and strap on those wings.

THE STAFF
EDITOR // MOLLY MARTIN ASSOCIATE EDITOR // JONATHAN HERMES DESIGNER // ALExANDRA AvILA CONTACT // ALExANDRA ESPOSITO, CAROLINE KRAFT, LAURA ERDALL MANUAL // GABRIELLE SCHOCK, JENNIFER DIDONATO, LINDSEY SIEGELE NOTICE // BECKY HOWLETT, SARAH CHAMP PLAY // BEN CHIPMAN, MICHAEL BEDNAR, LINDSEY DEITER HEALTH // JUSTINE PATTON, ELLIOT METZ, JACK RAFFERTY CONTRIBUTORS // MIKE ANDERSON, MICHELLE MACBAIN, BRITTANY NELSON, SAvANNAH ABBOTT, CHANCE CARMICHAEL, LANDON MCDONALD, ALEx TRETBAR, ZACK MARSH, BRITTANY CLAMPITT, CHELSEA THENO CREATIVE CONSULTANT // CAROL HOLSTEAD

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02 17 11

CONTACT kansas in heat // PASSING THE FRIEND TEST
> Tackle the sticky world of relationships.
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn. graduate student, and Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, Kan., graduate student, are the hosts of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on KJHK, 90.7fm and at kjhk.org.

Q. I’ve been dating this girl for a little over a month now. Dates with just the two of us

have been amazing, but nights out with her friends have been a disaster. I don’t think her friends like me. Should I be worried?

a. Absolutely, you should. Nobody is more
influential than the group of friends. Her friends are the most influential people in her world. Even if she has been talking you up to them, you still have to woo them over in person. One of the most influential turning points of a relationship is when you meet the friends. That first impression is important to the future of the relationship. It sounds like your first impression didn’t go well — that’s OK — but you are going to have to find a way to make them comfortable or enthusiastic about the likelihood that you will be dating their friend. You could invite her and her friends out for a night. You want her friends to have a great time and associate that great time with you. When you are out with them focus on their happiness. Be friendly but not flirtatious — a key difference. Be sure to ask questions and try to joke around with them. Humor is also vitally important. Here is the key: Think of them as sexy coworkers that are all at a position above you. You want to be on their good side because you are going to see them a lot and they have some power over you. Hence, buying a round of lemonades or a round of bowling won’t work. You can’t get on their good side with gifts alone. Ask questions, make them laugh and even tease them a bit if things are going well — but only if things are going well. If the others friends laugh at your tease, then the world is yours. Your relationship has great potential. Now focus on the brothers or sisters. // MIKE ANDERSON

a. The first few weeks of dating someone you
feel is really special can be wonderful. You’re getting to know someone and the conversation is new and exciting. The chemistry is firing and you want to spend all your time together. Then, it’s time to meet the friends. Oh, buddy, they are sizing you up. But don’t worry, all is not lost. Remember, her friends, the people who “know her the best,” have missed her all this time she has been having these “amazing” nights out with you. So, when she introduces you as a potential new mate, she is also reintroducing herself as a girl embarking on a potential new relationship. In the immortal words of Rod Roddy, you found yourself a Double Whammy. A one-month courtship is not considerably long, but it is long enough to consider if this person is worth your time and effort. This is exactly what her friends are thinking. Although you may not feel they are paying attention, all eyes are on you. The way you treat her now will facilitate her friends’ opinion to either allow or dismiss your potential relationship. So, as much as you may not want to hear this, you are courting her and her friends at the same time. Here’s a suggestion: Host a casual party with your dating partner. Invite her friends and your friends as guests. Set an environment of fun and relaxation. Be a courteous, generous and entertaining host. Be an affectionate, gentlemanly and attentive date. If you truly fancy this girl and want to discover more about her, you’ll have no problem winning over the friends with your honest interest in her. If all goes well, we expect you to solicit our advice on how to win over the family. // MICHELLE MACBAIN

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CONTACT how we met // Synthia Somerhalder & Brian miller
> All great relationships had to start somewhere.
“Why don’t you dig a trench, so the ball would go as low as you wish it to be?” Throwing insults like this was a common form of competitive banter between Synthia Somerhalder and Brian Miller when they first met on the ball field this summer. The name of the game was town ball, the 19th-century predecessor of baseball. When the hurler (pitcher) would throw a poor pitch, such an insult would be a likely dig. “We practiced the art of insult regularly during game play,” Somerhalder says. Luckily for both Somerhalder, Burlington senior, and Miller, Shawnee senior, they could take the heat. Somerhalder started a town ball league, and she and Miller had became close friends by the end of the summer, when they took a trip to Chicago with their teammates. After a couple agonizing days of harmless flirting, Somerhalder finally made the first move and kissed Miller in their hotel elevator. “He’s very shy so I knew I had to do something to break the ice,” Somerhalder says. The couple has been dating for five months

Contributed photo Town ball romance: After playing the historical sport together over summer, Miller and Somerhalder connected during a trip to Chicago. now. “Even though it hasn’t been that long, we already have a deep connection and have become very close with each other’s families,” Somerhalder says.

// LAURA ERDALL

catch of the week // Sarah murphy
> Our weekly peek at a fish in the KU sea.
Interests & HobbIes: Roadtrips, singing, baking, baseball, basketball and football games, being hilarious, Student Union Activities, terrible reality TV, Jayhawks, Taco John’s, naps and my dog — Roni Deutch. FavorIte Quote: The nice thing about being the only girl in a class is that it automatically makes you the hottest girl in the class. Ideal perFect date: Baseball game, dinner and drinking. turn-ons: America, piano/guitar playing, spontaneity, great sense of humor, good teeth and beautiful blue eyes. turn-oFFs: Snoring, hairy men, Missouri, listening to Nickelback, drama and cats. IF you could date anyone. lIvIng or dead, wHo would It be? Zac Efron or Conner Teahan. I would never date a dead person. That’s gross. wHy I’m a catcH: I’m a catch because I love cooking, cleaning and having a good time. I can make any situation the best time of your life, and if you’re really lucky, I’ll write a song about you. I save the drama for yo momma and drive a dude-friendly car. I’m easily entertained and love schooners.

MAJOR: History YEAR: Senior INTERESTED IN: Men

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// ALExANDRA ESpOSITO

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HEALTH
> Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

good for you bad for you // maKeup

> Dude...gross.

ThaT’s disgusTing // LICe from hats

Makeup often gets a bad rep — it’s oily, can cause horrible breakouts and even wrinkles. Joseph Gadzia, a dermatologist at Kansas Medical Clinic in Topeka, explains the truth behind these makeup myths. Makeup clogs pores and causes acne. That’s exactly what Tess Grohmann, Kansas City, Kan. senior, thought, even though she uses makeup almost daily. But this is only the case when women use oil-based makeup. such foundation clogs pores, allowing bacteria to build up and acne to break out, Gadzia says. nowadays, most makeup is non-comedogenic, which is dermatologist talk for “makeup that won’t clog pores.” Makeup will cause skin to age faster. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Many makeup products actually contain sunscreen, so instead of causing little crinkles and creases, they’re actually preventing them. Gadzia says if individuals are worried about looking older, they should avoid the sun, smoking and partying all night, every night.

Contributed photo Foundation myths: Most makeup products won’t clog your pores but will help prevent wrinkles. Mineral makeup is healthier for skin. You don’t need to fork over $30 for mineral makeup unless you absolutely need it. Gadzia says mineral makeup often doesn’t contain some of the preservatives that are found in most makeup, so the odds of an allergic reaction are significantly lower. If that’s not an issue, regular makeup works just fine. VErdiCT: Good for you // JUsTInE PATTOn

Whether you’re shopping for a stocking cap to keep your head toasty this winter or a baseball cap for next spring, Melody Volek, a registered nurse, has some advice: “Don’t try it on before you buy it.” The reason? You could get head lice. Annette Koland, Chapman senior, loves wearing KU baseball caps and says she never thinks twice about trying on a hat before she makes a purchase. “I always just go into stores and throw them on my head,” Koland says. Even though the words “head lice” may take you back to the days of swing sets and sack lunches, adults can still become infected by the little white parasites, Volek says. Most people don’t realize they have head lice at first. The parasites are big enough to see, but are so quick that most people can’t catch a glimpse as they creep and crawl through the scalp. Once they attach, they become almost invisible. Volek says symptoms could start with a single itch on the head — not exactly the most obvious ailment. “We all have itchy heads,”

Contributed photo Hair-asites: Trying on hats increases your chance of getting a lice infection on your scalp. Volek says. However, as the louse lays eggs, more lice will soon call your scalp home and that single itch will get intense. Go see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. Luckily, head lice can’t fly or jump. They can only be transported through direct contact. Volek says a few head lice hot spots for adults are the insides of hats and headrests of movie theater seats. // JUsTInE PATTOn

> Dude...gross.

ThaT’s disgusTing // BaCterIa growth on
taKe-out food

02 17 11

Fever? nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea? How did this happen? You can’t afford to get sick. Is someone from class to blame? The one who never covers his mouth when he coughs? Possible, but the culprit may not be someone from class but something inside your fridge. The Center for Disease Control estimates that each year roughly one out of six Americans gets sick from food-borne diseases. several factors contribute to bacterial contamination, including refrigerated foods that are not stored at the proper temperature or not reheated properly. For college students who eat out a lot, leftovers often end up in the fridge, a cold fortress where no germs can grow, right? not exactly. sally Brown, a registered dietitian from Overland Park, says timing and temperature are important. “I would not recommend eating food after the 24-hour mark from when it was prepared, to be on the safe side,” Brown says. Bacterial growth occurs within two hours if the food’s temperature is within the “danger zone,” between 40 and 135 F. While we like to believe simply putting the food in the fridge will kill all existing bacteria, this is not true; the food must be heated to above 145 F to be safe to eat. Microwave ovens raise food temperature

Photo by Travis Young A side of bacteria, please: Food-borne diseases are more likely to occur after 24 hours. typically to 100 F, far short of the safe zone. Most students practice the look-and-smell test to determine if the food is edible. “As long as it looks okay that is enough for me,” sam Palm, Olathe sophomore, says. Because the symptoms of food poisoning resemble the common cold, many don’t realize it was something they ate that caused the illness. Writing a throw-away date on the food can help you avoid illness; failure to do so puts you at risk for poisoning. This is something to remember the next time you’re lying miserably in bed looking for someone to blame. // JACK RAFFERTY

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NOTICE
You use it in the classroom, in the car, at the dinner table, at the bedside and even on the toilet. Social media is everywhere — perhaps most prevalently in the way of homework and paying attention in lecture. As I write this very story, I find myself surrendering to the “ding” of my cell phone that urges me to check frivolous e-mails, text messages or posts on Facebook as though I’d do anything to halt productivity. Since the birth of social networking in 2004 with Facebook, social media has exploded in popularity. Websites such as Twitter, Flickr and Tumblr have since joined Facebook in making social media, arguably, the greatest Internet phenomenon ever. As a great tool for both procrastinating and communicating, researchers have drawn a line between harmless use and harmful abuse, cautioning the potential of social media addiction. Last April, the International Center for Media and the Public Agenda (ICMPA) at the University of Maryland released a study suggesting college students are addicted to social media. The 200 students participating went without all forms of media for 24 consecutive hours and showed symptoms similar to alcohol and drug withdrawals. The notion that college students psychologically depend on social networking stirs debate among psychologists and students alike. Are we getting the best of the Internet or is it getting the best of us? Supporting the study’s findings, Dr. Gregg Jantz, certified chemical dependency counselor, says college students’ heavy use of social media cannot only lead to addiction, but also harm academic performance and relationships. “[Social media use] creates unreal relationships and a sense of selfimportance,” Jantz says. “We turn to social media in times that we want to feel validated instead of turning to real relationships.” An avid user of social media, Megan Do, Wichita senior, doesn’t use Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr to feel “validated,” but rather to stay connected with people. Do says social media could be addictive for users who lack self-control or timemanagement skills, but, knowing the benefits of social media, she says she hates to see it get a bad reputation. “I’m always learning new things from the interesting people I’ve met through social media with the links, videos and articles they share,” Do says. “Social media has brought me closer to the people I know

SociaL meDia

Do we neeD a LittLe LeSS Facebook anD a LittLe more Face time?
// SArAh ChAMP

obSeSSionS

Photo Illustration | Dalton Gomez Screen addiction: Are students’ psychologically dependent on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter? Recent studies show that users can go through media withdrawal symptoms. because we’re able to learn more about each other.” Not ready to part completely with the benefits of social media, many users resort to temporarily deactivating their accounts or putting a friend in control of their passwords. To better fill the void of an anti-procrastination tool, software developers created the programs “Anti-Social” ($15) and “Freedom” ($10) in June 2010 that block social network websites for a given time period. In need of a social media intervention, Jason Charney, Overland Park junior, bought “Freedom” last fall. Like many college students, he would impulsively open up Facebook or Twitter instead of the work he intended to do. Charney says he isn’t addicted, but that he wanted to better control his habit of social media wandering. “I’ve deactivated my Facebook for a week at a time before, but it’s such a vital communication tool that it’s hard to just go without it,” Charney says. “To have something that blocks those sites for however long I need helps me structure my work time, so I’m a lot more productive.” That very lack of structure is a common theme in the lives of college students. Dr. Kimberly Young, director of the Center for Internet Addiction recovery, says unstructured time causes a lot of addiction problems. She tells her patients, completely addicted or just distracted, to use productivity software to help stay in control. Young challenges the notion that anyone is addicted to social media. She says if it’s truly a matter of addiction, the user usually has other vices, too, not just social media. “It is not just one thing a person becomes addicted to and it is not just going from procrastination to harmful addiction,” Young said. “I think the main element is when it becomes a problem — when that use of the Internet is hurting a relationship, academic performance, relationships with friends, ability to stay engaged in social activities and on campus. Then it means that it is too much.”

a social media addiction:
• Focus on use. Use only the networks most relevant to your life and work. • Schedule. Set aside time that you’ll get on social networking sites and don’t leave Facebook or Twitter tabs open on your web browser. • Downsize. It’s easy to let friend requests and followers get out of hand. Try limiting them to only those you’re really connected to, either through friendship or shared interests. • Lists and Filters. Facebook and Twitter have options that allow you to group people however you want, limiting the content you would otherwise have to sift through. • Stop using. If you’ve tried the above tips and social media still seems to do more harm than good, then get rid of it. E-mail and telephone calls aren’t outdated yet, so people who need to get a hold of you still can.

How to prevent

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FEATURE

The arT of
seduction
What Men and WoMen Want, and hoW they get it
// BECCA HARSCH

I was standing in line outside a bar on a Thursday night, waiting for the bouncer to check my ID. Same old Thursday night. But this time, I met someone. I was having a conversation with my friends about seeing Trey Songz in concert, when this good-looking guy behind us joined the conversation. He told me he had seen Trey Songz in concert, too. That definitely earned my interest, and by the end of the night we had exchanged numbers. The next day he told me he hadn’t seen the R&B crooner in concert, but thought it was a good opportunity to make conversation. Whatever he was trying to do, it worked. If you are willing to learn how love and attraction work, you can practice them as skills, says Angel Donovan, chief editor of the Dating Skills Review website. “The great thing about this is that men and women alike are no

longer helpless with their love frustrations,” he says. “They can, and many do, choose to learn more about it and improve their dating, relationship and love skills.”

Make yourself attractive
Many think you must do certain things to attract someone. But no specific set of rules applies to all women or all men. The only rule is you have to be authentic, says Marni Kinrys, an attraction coach and founder of The Wing Girl Method, a website that helps men attract women. You have to go for what you want. If you start learning these skills at a younger age, it is easier as you get older. “It’s really about being comfortable in your own skin,” Kinrys says. Attraction is not only about what you say, how you feel or how you look. Those are cues Photo Illustration | Jerry Wang Learned skills: Instrospection helps you realize what your strengths and weaknesses are. Knowing these things can help you play up your strengths to make yourself more attractive.

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FEATURE
It’s really about beIng comfortable In your own skIn. — about the way you make someone feel about you.
> Marni Kinrys, attraction coach

Photo Illustration | Jerry Wang Making the connection: Find ways to interact comfortably and positively. Showing warmth and happiness are attractive qualities to people.

Make a Good IMpressIon
Marni Kinrys, who considers herself an attraction coach and a female friend to men, helps men pick up women and gives them tips on what she thinks women want. “Unlike a lot of other women, I actually know how to articulate,” Kinrys says. This ability to articulate helps Kinrys to help men figure out how to get what they want from women. Kinrys, a member of The Seduction Community who was named the world’s best female pickup artist, coaches men with these tips to help pick up women. .
1 Be a man, not a boy:

we respond to in only the first five seconds upon meeting someone. Ultimately, it’s about the way you make someone feel about you. To make yourself more attractive, you must first engage in introspection, says Constance Dunn, author of Practical Glamour: Presenting Your Most Beautiful & Polished Self to the World. Think about any feedback you have received in the last year from your friends and family. “There might be something to the fact that four of your friends have told you that your habit of swearing loudly in public embarrasses them, or that you’d look fantastic if you dressed your fine figure in something other than a standardissue uniform of scuffed Uggs and baggy sweatpants,” Dunn says.

Get soMeone’s Interest
Relationship expert Edythe Denkin, a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, says most women still wait to be approached by men. Young girls are taught that if a boy likes you, he will make the first move, Denkin says. But more and more women are becoming assertive and not waiting on the man to make the first move. Dunn, author of Practical Glamour, says you must get a feel for someone by observing his or her behavior and actions before you make a move. If you want to make a connection, you need to find a way to interact in a way that’s comfortable for you. Look into someone’s eyes and think warm thoughts, Dunn says. Alyssa, Overland Park senior, says if she wants to get to know a guy, she asks a lot of questions to find out what he’s into. If he really wants to talk about sports, she will give her two cents on sports. Anthony, a KU graduate from Los Angeles, says if he shares his opinion on something, he wants to hear her opinion too, even if it’s not the same as his. “Disagreement sparks an entire conversation,” Tony says. “If a girl is not afraid to share her opinion on something, that’s sexy.”

the WInGMan approach
Sometimes a good approach to attract someone is to enlist the help of a friend, a wingman (or wing woman). The wingman is a coach, a quarterback and motivational creeper who helps his friend build confidence to initiate contact and conversation, says James Holeva, writer of The Wingman Chronicles blog. “The wingman, in many ways, is to creeping, what a talent agent is to a movie star,” Holeva says. The wingman’s job is to break the ice by striking up a conversation with a girl and her group of friends to get them interested. A wingman can be helpful in getting the attention of a female. But a wing should play a supporting role, not the lead. The guy looking to meet someone needs to take responsibility for his actions and not leave it up to the wingman, says James Norton, co-owner of Professional Pickup, which provides dating and wingman services. Norton says a wingman works best when a guy wings for a girl and vice versa. A female wing is a great help for a guy looking to meet girls. Female wings may feel more comfortable approaching girls for their guy friend than a male wingman would. Kris, Lawrence senior, says he had an experience with a female wing. The wing was a girl in his class who was trying

to help him attract the attention of another girl in their class with whom Kris was interested. Kris says he ended up going out for drinks with both of the girls.

Women don’t always like bad boys or players. Women don’t sit around with hopes of meeting an unreliable jerk who has no direction and plays games. Women want a man, not a boy. A man is a male who is selfassured, calm, cool, collected, comfortable and has the ability to lead. A genuine, authentic character will trump looks and bad-boy qualities in nearly every situation.
2 Make the first move:

don’t fear rejectIon
Even if the wing does his or her job correctly, you’re the one who has to make the move. But don’t worry if it doesn’t work out; rejection isn’t that bad. Sometimes you may not get a good response. But you will get a better response than not approaching at all, or approaching half-heartedly. “It’s about taking ownership of you and what you want,” Kinrys, the attraction coach, says. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, you aren’t giving anyone a chance to respond at all. Don’t put too much time, effort and thought into one person. If someone doesn’t respond the way you would like, simply move on to someone else. Dunn, author of Practical Glamour, says if you make an attempt to get someone’s attention and he or she isn’t taking your bait, you can at least move on knowing that you gave it your best shot. You haven’t been rejected necessarily; you just haven’t met your match. You can move on to someone who adores you for you, Dunn says.

There is never a bad time to approach a woman. Women want to be approached, as long as it’s by the right person. You could come up with a million reasons why a woman might not be interested, but you will never know for sure until you approach her. The only way to get what you want is by asking for it. Stop making excuses and just approach a woman.
3 Speak with character:

There is not one right pickup line to say to a woman. But there is a right way to speak to a woman. If you line up 10 men and have them say the same pickup line to a woman, will that woman be attracted to all 10 men? Probably not. She will be attracted to the man that said the line the right way. She’ll notice the way he presents himself, his intentions and his character.

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MANUAL essential life skills // getting a public
> In case of emergency, read quickly.

library card

essential life skills // protecting suede
> In case of emergency, read quickly.

& leather shoes

Textbooks are a serious investment, and tickets to the movies, even with that student discount, are expensive. What if you could get most of your media for a more reasonable price? How about free? The Lawrence Public Library, 707 Vermont St., offers all Lawrence residents the opportunity to check out books, audiobooks, CDs and DVDs without charge — assuming they return them on time. All they have to do is get a library card. Virgil Farrill, a regular at the library, mostly uses his library card to check out science fiction books. He visits the library at least every couple weeks, and most of his friends are library regulars as well. He says the public library is a great resource for all Lawrence residents. Ready to sign up? Amanda Lynn McConnell, Lawrence Public Library’s Circulation Coordinator, says signing up for a library card is easy. You’ll need to bring a photo ID (preferably a driver’s license) and proof of Lawrence address (such as a recent bill) to the front counter at the library. There, a library worker will give you

Contributed photo Free rent: Signing up for a library card is free, easy and allows you to check out books and movies. a short form to fill out, and you’ll be receive your shiny new library card and a mini card to attach to your keys. Library cards are especially convenient because the Lawrence Public Library has an “Express Lane” checkout, where you can use your card to check out your own media (similar to the self checkout lanes at grocery stores). So give your bank account a break this month and go where the entertainment is free: the public library. // LINDSEY SIEgELE

Between dodging rain puddles and trudging through six inches of snow, the shoes we wear take a beating. “I’ve only had these since Christmas,” Kelsey Beller, Olathe freshman, says referencing her Ugg boots. “But they’ve already gotten pretty bad. I’ve been meaning to do something to take care of them.” For suede shoes: Beller’s suede Ugg boots already show signs of discoloring, not only because of snow and water, but also because of the salt used to keep sidewalks from becoming slick. Wetting the shoes before wearing them outside will help prevent any staining or fading, Scott Ogilvie, sales associate at Brown’s Shoe Fit Co., says. “Either simply using water or a water-based stain protector made especially for suede products will help preserve the color and make them last longer.” A stain protector for suede is easy to find and inexpensive, with most costing under $5, Ogilvie says. For leather shoes: If you’ve been wearing

Contributed photo Perfect suede: Stain protectors and leather conditionder can help your shoes weather the winter. leather boots this winter, or if you’re looking forward to leather shoes in the spring, invest in a bottle of leather conditioner. “A leather conditioner is not only going to make a leather shoe softer, but also more durable,” Ogilvie says. “Plus, it’ll make it look nice.” Protecting your shoes can prolong their lifespan. Beller says she’s going to start protecting her shoes to prevent any further damage. “If I don’t do anything now, they’re just going to get worse,” Beller says. // gABRIELLE SCHOCK

Thursday: Ladies Night
Ladies in free before 10PM

COMING SOON

Come celebrate Mardi Gras at our Fat Tuesday party

DOORS OPEN AT 9PM

02 17 11

10

MANUAL
Photo Illustration | Ben Pirotte Environmental convenience: Signing up with a curbside recycling company is an easy way to get rid of those extra bottles lying around your house. Just take it out like you would the trash.

// BRENNA LONG

pick up

The eight recycling bins at the Olive House, a student housing cooperative, sit on the curb every Wednesday morning and are magically empty and neatly stacked by the time Sam Greenberg returns from class in the afternoon. “It wouldn’t be unreasonable for us to take it to the recycling center, but this is just easier,” Greenberg, a senior from Highland Park, Ill., says. The convenience of curbside recycling keeps the eight housemates paying their monthly bill to Tree Hugger Recycling to have their recyclables hauled away. Every day the average American generates 4.3 pounds of trash, according to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Collectively, that’s almost one ton, or the weight of a Volkswagen Beetle. That’s a lot of trash, and only 30 percent of it gets recycled. Curbside recycling is a portion of that 30 percent and offers an easy and beneficial option for people concerned about the environment. “People have become more conscious about recycling,” Jim Tuchscherer, owner of Home

RecycLing iS juSt Like putting Out the tRaSh
Recycling Services, says. When recycling companies pick up the recycling in Lawrence, they not only help the residents, but also the environment. The fewer trips made throughout the city saves gas and takes less of a toll on the roads, and saves you time, gas and the hassle, Tuchscherer says. Besides the general benefits, the companies in town have better vehicles for transporting large amounts of recycled materials. Jeff Joseph, owner of Jeff’s Curbside Recycling, transformed a small truck into a recyclecarrying flatbed. As he drives around Lawrence, he empties his customers’ recycling into the 36 bins enclosed on the flatbed. Even though recycling services in Lawrence have been established for a while, curbside pick up is an evolving and flexible service. Just 30 years ago only one curbside recycling company existed in the United States, according to the EPA. This means a lot of the companies are fairly new and are figuring out what services work best. Most of the services pick up the recycling once a week, but the services can change depending on your needs or how often you want to put out your recycling, says Joseph. Or you just put out the recycling whenever you have it. Depending on the service, they might give you a bin, or as with Joseph’s company, as long as it is dry and by the curb, he picks it up. After the companies pick up your recycling, they generally take it to the Wal-Mart Community Recycling Center, 3300 Iowa St., or 12th and Haskell Bargain Center, 1146 Haskell Ave. The Wal-Mart center has its recyclables picked up by Deffenbaugh Industries out of Kansas City, Kan., says Tom Coffman, Senior Vice President of Strategic Partnerships for Deffenbaugh Industries. The facility processes 10,000 tons of recycled materials a month. Along with the processing, Deffenbaugh Industries offers recycling services as well. Last March, the company started curbside recycling in Lawrence. Since its services spread to Lawrence, it has grown to serve 3,729 residences and collects 21 tons of recycling a week. In total, six different curbside recycling companies drive through Lawrence picking up recyclables. So those plastic bottles and stacks of old newspapers can make their way to the curb, but in a recycling bin, not a trash can, helping the environment with each load.

You put it out — they pick it up.
Six curbside recycling companies in Lawrence. community Living Opportunities Weekly pick up $15 per month 785-840-9278 Deffenbaugh industries Weekly pick up $4.95 per month 800-631-3301 home Recycling Service Monthly pick up $7 per month 785-979-6633 jeff’s curbside Recycling Weekly pick up $15 per month 785-841-1284 Sunflower curbside Recycling Monthly pick up $18 per month 785-550-8610 tree hugger Recycling Weekly pick up $15 per month 785-550-6267

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PLAY out & About // If you could eat only one kInd of
food for the rest of your lIfe, what would you pIck?
> Random people. Random answers. breAnnAh PetrAk
OLAthe | freshmAn

Chips and salsa. It’s salty and spicy — everything you need bundled up into one care package. MArion Schulz
OLAthe | freshmAn

Cheese and crackers — preferably Wheat Thins. There are so many different kinds of cheese; you can pick whatever you’re in the mood for. kAtie SoMMerfeld
sPringfieLd, mO. | sOPhOmOre

Mexican. I crave it. Especially chips and salsa. chAd dAviS
OLAthe | juniOr

Mexican. I don’t have to think about it. Everything is all tortilla, meat, cheese and veggies. I could never get enough of that. StePhAn Metzger
OskALOOsA | sOPhOmOre

Crunchy chicken cheddar wraps. I’d be dead in a week, but it would be a very happy week. chriStinA gArciA
kAnsAs CitY, kAn. | seniOr

My mom’s enchiladas. Can’t get them like that anywhere in Kansas City. No one makes them like her. MAtt lAnning
shAwnee | seniOr

Wings. You can do a million different flavors with them and there’s never a bad time for wings.
// miChAeL BednAr

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12

PLAY STAGE PRESENCE // Abe VigodA
> Rising stars. Feel free to swoon.
Contributed photo Catharsis in sound: Abe Vigoda, a four-piece band from LA, has evolved from tropical punk riffs to a more brooding electronic sound on their new album, Crush. new drummer Dane Chadwick in 2009 also inspired the band to focus more on production and experiment with synthesizers. “We like being able to use such a variety of sounds to add depth and texture to our music,” Velazquez says. Crush retains punk elements with urgent vocals and fast playing, but with an added emotional catharsis. Abe Vigoda will play Wednesday, Feb. 23, at the Jackpot Saloon as part of their nationwide tour in support of their new album. “We’re expecting a good crowd and good show,” Sam Gunnerson, a Jackpot employee, says. “The last time they were in town they played at the 8th Street Taproom and it was pretty crazy.” // LINDSeY DeITeR

SCENE & hEARd // The MirTh CAfé
> New places. New faces.
Most people don’t walk into an office building and think, “Hey, this would make a great café,” but that’s just what the owners of the Mirth Café did. What started six years ago as an Internet café serving coffee and gelato has grown into a full-blown restaurant and favorite study spot for some students. “Other places are a lot more crowded and loud, and there’s not as much table space to work at,” Claire Gravelin, a doctoral student from Albany, N.Y., says. Luke Koftan, a Richmond, Va., junior and cook at the Mirth, says the café works with local farmers to develop a menu based on what’s in season, and everything is then made from scratch. Koftan says the Mirth’s local coffee provider journeys to South America to find that perfect, and fair trade, blend. The café hosts open mic poetry nights every other Friday, including tomorrow night, Feb. 18, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Local artists also can showcase their work on the café’s walls. The current art exhibit features the work of Chelsea Donoho. The Mirth Café, located at 745 New Hampshire St., is open seven days a week from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Hailing from Los Angeles, four-piece alternative outfit Abe Vigoda began in 2004 as a group of high school friends covering Smashing Pumpkins songs. Now on tour supporting their third full-length album Crush, the band has carved out their own dynamic sound, chock full of reverb and electronic evolution. Self described as new wave post-punk, Abe Vigoda’s latest release has a heavy synthesizer presence, making it dancier than the band’s earlier stuff. “We try to take a new direction with every album, and with Crush we had the idea to venture into more electronic territory,” guitarist Juan Velazquez says. Citing Kate Bush and Arthur Russell as influences on their new sound, the addition of

// MICHAeL BeDNAR

Contributed photo Fair trade: The Mirth Café offers a quiet place to study or meet up with friends for a meal and some coffee. The café also hosts open mic poetry readings and showcases work by local artists.

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REVIEW style review // aNImal prINTs
> Get it while it’s haute.
History repeats itself. This statement is as much true about fashion as it is about any other aspect of life. Every six months, a new series of trends appear on the runway and styles that were in fashion are ousted, so to speak. But, six months later, during the next set of fashion shows, the same ostracized trends from last season are back in again. Animal print, especially leopard print, has been enormously popular this season. Prints made appearances both in the design repertoires of big-name labels as well as the more inexpensive lines. For instance, design house Balmain debuted a leopard print blazer with a $21,280 price tag while Forever 21 offered a pair of leopard print ballet flats for $12.80. There are price options for every one’s wallet; the key is to know how to wear the style. First, if you wear a busy animal print, keep the rest of your outfit simple. Kate Moss is a perfect example of someone who has mastered print minimalism. Whether she is wearing a leopard print pea coat with black pants, shirt and boots, or if she matches a printed clutch with a tuxedo jacket and heels, the effect is never overdone. A pop of a print is like red lipstick: a pop of color can make all the difference to an otherwise de-

Contributed photo Spot-on: Animal print is everywhere this season, but don’t overdo it. Let the print pop by keeping the rest of your outfit simple. mure outfit. Secondly, do not combine prints. This move is solely reserved for the very famous, the very avant-garde or the very stupid. Pairing a leopard print skirt with a striped top should be done with caution. With that being said, go and find out your print persona. Are you the type to sport a waist-length blazer or would you rather wrap yourself in a spotted scarf? // cHELSEA THEnO

music review // WHITE FENCE – ‘Is GroWING
FaITH’ (WoodsIsT)
> KJHK’s guide to sonic consumption.
the middle of the song. Other songs of note include “Tumble, Lies & Honesty” and “Stranger Things Have Happened (To You)” that sound like they could have been plucked directly off of a Bob Dylan album. Overall, this album is stuffed with great songs. All 16 songs make up 46 and a half minutes of an album that is soon to be a classic. As soon as it can figure out it’s not in the ‘60s anymore. // ZAcK MARSH White Fence is just one out of a growing number of projects from Timothy Presley. Presley uses a similar sound here by himself as he does with his like-minded projects The Strange Boys and Darker My Love. These psychedelic jams are full of fuzzy and dreamy guitar layers and distorted vocals on top. One can see that the creative juices are truly flowing with Presley because of the constant stream of quality he has been producing recently. This album is simply a continuation of that creativity but is stripped down and seems to recall the past, almost yearning to be released in the 1960s. Many influences can be seen in White Fence’s sound, including Bob Dylan, The Kinks and newer garage rock bands like The Fresh & Onlys. Some of the tracks on this album are delicate, sweet and playful, while others tend to get more serious and down to earth. Some tracks not to be missed on Is Growing Faith include the super distorted opener called “And By Always,” which warps its way through with a simple yet catchy guitar line. Another solid track is “Enthusiasm,” which boasts a trippy and cut-up guitar solo in

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