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october 20, 2011

life. and how to have one.
birthday boozing
AT 21, A shoT for every yeAr hAs
become A dAring wAy To celebrATe
believing in beautiful
one jAyplAy wriTer’s journey
To A heAlThy self-percepTion
does everybody have a soul mate?
finding “the one”
october 20, 2011 // volume 9, issue 9
11 Q&A
13 TurNINg 21
pErSoNAl ESSAy 15
9am – 2am
601 Kasold
Lawrence, KS
EDITOR // Gabrielle Schock
DESIGNER // alex milbourn, max ayalla
CONTACT // bailey atkinSon, chriStine curtin, taylor lewiS
MANUAL // chriS neal., katie JameS
NOTICE // amanDa GaGe, naDia imaFiDon, matt Galloway
PLAY // Drew wille, JeFF karr, max GreenwooD
HEALTH // bre roach, chriSty nutt, kylie nutt
CONTRIBUTORS // michelle macbain, chance carmichael,
Dylan Derryberry, JaroD kilGore, lanDon mcDonalD, maGGie
younG, Savannah abbot
CREATIVE CONSULTANT // carol holSteaD, lucy Denyer
PAgE and your contributions
could be published!
The University Daily kansan
1000 Sunnyside Dr.
Lawrence, kS 66045
(785) 864-4810
here’s some advice for all of you single folks
out there: you’re more likely to meet the love of
your life when you’re not even looking.
my own personal example? First semester
of my freshman year, i qualifed to take
Spanish 216. Despite taking Spanish for four
years in high school, the class was terrifying
and extremely diffcult for me from day one.
however, the class turned out to be a sort of
blessing in disguise. i walked out of the fnal
exam with two things: a passing grade (God
bless you, credit/no credit) and a boyfriend.
trust me, i didn’t endure a semester of brutal
homework and awkward i-have-no-idea-what-
i’m-saying class presentations just to fnd
myself a boyfriend. like i said, it happened
without me even realizing it.
that was almost four years ago and i
couldn’t be happier. it’s cheesy and a bit
overdramatic, but i honestly don’t think i’d be
surviving college without him. he keeps me
calm when i’m borderline psychotic with stress
and takes care of me when i’m sick. he’s also a
great listener, even if it’s just me ranting about
something petty.
people often ask me if i consider him
“the one” and honestly, despite our strong,
supportive relationship, a part of me fnds
it hard to say yes. i’m not concerned with
whether or not he’s my perfect match. i’m
happy, he’s happy and that’s all that matters
to us right now. but knowing if your signifcant
other is “the one” is something a lot of people
consider, and there are different ways of telling
if we’ve met our soul mate. For more on how
fnding “the one” affects our relationships,
read christine’s story on page eight.
i don’t know what it will take for me to know
he’s “the one,” but i’m not worried. right now,
i’m just happy to be with someone who doesn’t
judge me when i watch questionable movies
on our shared netfix account.
> Two people. Five questions. See how they stack up.
> From the band Chromeo.
> Senior from Overland Park.
Major: Mechanical Engineering.
What’s your favorite midnight
What’s your weirdest quirk?
What was your favorite toy as a
What’s a TV show no one would
guess you watch?
What’s your favorite word?
Cookies and milk. It’s the only time in my life that I drink milk other than
with cereal. I am racist against milk and people that drink milk.
I am pretty infamous for making late-night candy runs. When I’m stressed,
I go for the gummy worms. I am also a big fan of Muncher’s donuts.
Halls cough drops. I eat them like candy and I have since I was 14.
I don’t know why. I don’t even taste them anymore, it’s just a habit. I
always have one in my pocket.
When I walk on campus, I listen to music and people have told me that I
have a very distinct walking style. I don’t think people would consider it
swagger, its more limping awkwardly. I groove when I feel music and that
controls how I walk.
My portable turntable that I could turn records on. My parents never let
us have videogames at the house.
I used to get the vacuum and pretend I was doing space battles. I would
be climbing on the couch and have the hose and different pieces. I was a
really adorable kid. I don’t know what happened.
Guy Fieri from “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.” Anything with him I love.
I love Guy and I think he should run for president.
I am obsessed with “Glee.” I have every song on my iPod. That’s what I’m
jamming to when I do my awkward walk.
I have a dictionary of words I like. There are so many. The last couple
days I have enjoyed calling people fat-footed.
Moist. The word just sounds like something that’s moist. That name fts
that description perfectly.
Contributed Photo
Michelle MacBain is a graduate student from
Kansas City. She studied sexuality, psychology
and communication studies at Te University of
Kansas and Te University of Amsterdam.
> Tackling the sticky world of relationships.
Taboo topics in sex and relationships are
frequently covered in this column. One taboo
topic not often discussed, often kept silent and
behind closed doors, is intimate partner violence.
Producers of shows like “Jersey Shore” and
“Bad Girls Club” willingly air violence and barely
conscious risky sexual behavior. Yet, when a
female is hit by a male, the producers won’t air
this opposite-sex violence. Instead, the violence
is blacked-out and a brief statement is made
announcing, “If you or someone you love has been
a victim . . . call this hotline.” This, in my opinion,
is a feeble, contradictory and lame awareness
attempt. Victims of intimate partner violence have
faces – they have voices.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness
month. Next week, numerous organizations around
campus will bring a voice to the issue of intimate
partner violence during Domestic Violence (DV)
Awareness Week. In 2009, the Kansas Federal
Bureau of Investigations reported 23,864 incidents
of DV – but these were reported incidents. The
number DV deaths: 35. The previous year, we lost a
KU student and advocate for women’s rights, Jana
Mackey. She was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
This issue does not discriminate.
DV and sexual assault (SA) can happen to
anyone, regardless of gender, race, class or sexual
orientation. Intimate partner violence or abuse
can be physical and non-physical (control through
verbal or mental abuse). Also, contrary to popular
belief, it is not easy to escape a controlling or
violent relationship. It is crucial for everyone to be
aware and give a voice to the victims. If we don’t,
we will never end the cycle of violence.
My work – my passion – is to help others
engage in healthy sexuality: mind, body, and spirit.
Healthy relationships do not include control and
assault. Beating the crap out of someone is not
funny or cool. Controlling someone and abusing
that person’s body or mind is disgusting and
cowardly. Please lend your voice in support of the
victims and support the movement to end assault
and violence. More information and resources
can be found through the Emily Taylor Women’s
Resource Center and The Commission on the
Status of Women.
7am - 2am
6 East 9t h St r eet
785. 843. 1001
Turn-ons: A girl who is adventurous, like
willing to go rock climbing, scuba diving or
bungee jumping. A girl who wants to get in-
volved in a club and willing to try new things,
like a sport they’ve never played before. A nice,
subtle smile when frst making eye contact or
start talking.
> A weekly peek at a fsh in the KU sea.
Year: Freshman
Hometown: Bartlesville, Okla.
Major: Petroleum Engineering
Interested in: Women
Turn-offs: An obnoxious laugh at an inappro-
priate time. Also, loud talkers and smokers.
Notices frst: Defnitely her smile.
Hates when people: Try to always direct
attention toward themselves. I like people that
can put others frst.
That's gross: Overly tan people. I prefer a
woman with paler skin. Something about people
with dark tan seems fake to me, and by tan, I
mean Snooki tan.
Spends the most money on: Food on the
weekends, like pizza, sandwiches and Dairy
Queen. Also clothes, like Vineyard Vines, Polo,
Sperry’s and Southern Tide.
Why I am a catch: I always consider the ef-
fects my actions have on people. I live my life by
strong morals that I don't break or bend.
It’s not uncommon for Lawrence natives Tim
Clark, a junior, and Rayyan Kamal, a senior, to
be mistaken for a couple. The pair has even
deemed their friendship a “bromance”; they
are inseparable.
But their friendship wasn’t always so
strong. The two met in marching band at Free
State High School when they were paired to-
gether to share the marimba. “I grabbed some
mallets and they told me to stand next to this
man, Tim, who was very calm and very quiet,”
Rayyan says. “He didn’t say anything. He didn’t
talk at all. I didn’t understand why he was so
freaking quiet.”
As band season continued, the two bonded
while playing their shared instrument. Their
love for music led to them creating their own
band, and their growing friendship instilled a
deep appreciation for each other. It was be-
cause of Tim’s opinions that Rayyan began
examining his own spiritual beliefs, and Tim
found a sort of teacher fgure in Rayyan. “He’s
got such a positive and humanistic view of ev-
erything,” Tim says. “If there’s anything that’s
a problem in my life, he tends to have a really
good perspective.”
As close at the duo was, they didn’t have
plans to attend college together, but they both
ended up at the University. Although they aren’t
roommates, they are constantly hanging out
and are grateful for their high school march-
ing band days that introduced them. “A lot of
people don’t like high school; I thought it was
great,” Rayyan says. “High school isn’t nec-
essarily about the fact that you have a ton of
friends or do a ton of things. It’s if you have at
least one friend that is good enough to get you
through. And that’s what I had. I had Tim.”
> All great relationships had to start somewhere.
Contributed Photo
Contributed Photo
With Te Band: Tim (center, left) and Rayyan
(center, right) became friends while performing in
their high school’s marching band.
The National
of China
FREE China Festival · 6.30pm, Lled Center
Demonstratlons and art from the
Kansas City Chinese Association lnc|udlng.
Drum roIIer · FoIk dances · MartiaI arts · Tai Chi
Tea ceremony · Zeng (ancient Chinese instrument)
Sponsored by
(Additional $1 service fee will apply)
feats of strength,
skill and risk!
Benefiting the Kansas City Free Health Clinic and the AIDS Service Foundation of Greater Kansas City.
Hundreds of craft beers, live music and more.
All for a good cause.
My crazy class schedule means spending
all day on campus and hauling around a ton of
stuff. It was diffcult to try and keep my things
(three notebooks, my computer, computer char-
ger, planner, assorted works by Shakespeare,
psych textbook, water bottle and car keys) to-
gether without having anything to put them in.
This was the most challenging thing I’ve tempo-
rarily given up this semester.
Not having my usual throw-it-in-the-bag-
and-go routine made me constantly feel like I
was forgetting something. After every class,
instead of just walking out, I had to stop and
check that I had everything. It was weird to
only be able to have one hand free.
Keeping everything together with a back-
pack is convenient, but can also affect your
health if not packed properly, “Your backpack
shouldn’t weigh more than 15 percent of your
body weight and you want to put the heavi-
est books closest to your body,” says Jeff
Schroeder, owner of Schroeder Chiropractic.
“More weight pulls too much on your spine and
can lead to back problems in the future, like
headaches and spinal arthritis,” he says.
I did notice that my back felt better this
week, but I’ll be really happy to have my bag
back. While packing for campus from now on,
I’m going to keep Schroeder’s advice in my
mind and simplify the amount of things I bring
with me, to prevent pain in my future.
> Absence makes the heart grow...?
A mash-up of a live-action radio play and
graphic novel set in the 1930s, Intergalactic
Nemesis provides an innovative audio-visual
experience for its audience. The performance
consists of three actors who voice the char-
acters, a foley artist who makes hundreds
of sound effects, music and more than 1,200
comic book images projected onto a screen.
These elements come together to tell the story
of reporter Molly Sloan, her assistant, Timmy
Mendez, and a librarian named Ben Wilcott,
who face the threat of an approaching invasion
of sludge monsters from the planet Zygon.
Show creator Jason Neulander says the
idea originally started out as a radio play per-
formed in a small coffee shop and then evolved.
“We were invited to a larger venue, and it felt
too big for a radio format. I had the idea to have
big comic book images on the screen that could
reach all the way to the audience at the back of
the theater,” he says. “I created a hybrid of the
comic script and the live script. There’s more
humor and dialog seeing it live than when just
reading a comic.”
The out-of the-box performance style ap-
peals to all ages. “It’s comic, action, theater
and music that can appeal to everyone —
people who normally wouldn’t be interested in
comics,” says Michele Berendsen, marketing
director for the Lied Center. The performance
will be Oct. 29 at 7:30 p.m. There will be pre-
performance activities at 6 p.m., starting with
an all-ages costume contest that’s followed
by a discussion on the art of graphic novel il-
lustration. After the show, there will be post-
performance coffee and conversation with the
Tickets are $21 for adults and $10 for stu-
dents and youth.
> It’s not all about fast food and beer pong.
Photo by Katie James
Contributed Photo
Pack It Up: James struggled to stay organized
for one week without the help of a backpack.
Comic Relief: Intergalactic Nemesis, a live-action
radio play and graphic novel, combines comic
book images and acting.
evin Tietz, a KU alumnus from
Plano, Texas, frst saw Maggie
Hull, a junior from Lawrence,
at a party in the fall of 2009.
He knew there was something
special about her. “People say when you
know, you know,” Tietz says. “After watching
her dance at the party, I had this thought
that she was the kind of person I would
want to spend the rest of my life with.”
On Sept. 29 of this year, Tietz and Hull got
While their relationship has a fairytale
beginning, the notions of “love at frst sight”
and fnding “the one” are casually thrown
around in sappy movies and romance nov-
els. But how does the pressure that comes
with fnding you soul mate affect you?
Modern culture is to blame for our unre-
alistic expectations when it comes to love,
says Lisa Clampitt, president of a match-
making company based in New York. She
refers to it as “the Hollywood syndrome.”
“Hollywood has taught us that sud-
denly there’s one person you’re meant to
be with, and everything magically comes
together,” Clampitt says. “But that’s not
always true.”
Relationships take time and effort. While
there may be an instantaneous connection,
crucial parts of a relationship, like taking
time to get to know each other, still can’t be
Dedication to fnding the elusive “one”
can also affect how we handle our rela-
tionships. Jack Alley, a Kansas City-based
matchmaker, says society has a mentality in
which we want it all, we want it now and we
want it perfect.
“We start searching for the one that we
have chemistry with,” Alley says. “But chem-
istry doesn’t get you very far — compatibility
is what makes your heart grow in love with
After adopting the idea that there’s “one
for everyone,” people tend to take a narrow
focus on love. They can miss a relationship
that has potential because they want to fnd
the person that they feel is “the one” right
“Don’t use a map of who you believe you
should be with where it excludes really good
possibilities,” Clampitt says.
Even though people can fnd themselves
on the quest for “the one,” it’s possible
there’s more than one person that each indi-
vidual can be compatible with.
Jessica Bricker, a junior from Kansas
City, Kan., and her husband, Kuran Bricker,
a non-traditional sophomore from Overland
Park, brought up the idea of getting married
on their second date. Both believe that there
can be “the one” if you allow it, but there are
other options, too.
“Everybody has somebody for them, but
at the same time, many people can ft that
role,” Bricker says.
Sometimes, it’s about how much effort
each individual is willing to put into a rela-
tionship. While the initial feeling of “this is
it” may not be present, that doesn’t neces-
sarily mean something great can’t happen.
“If you really want to work at a person
being “the one,” it can be that person,” Al-
ley says.
But if someone does fnd one other per-
son who they think is “the one,” how will
he or she know for sure? Is it a feeling or is
it a conscious knowing? The answer always
depends on the individual. “It’ll smack you in
the face,” Tietz says.
Or, maybe it’s something that is a little
harder to put into words. Kuran Bricker says
he can’t even explain how he knew Jessica
was the one for him. He just did.
With 6 billion
people in the
world, is there
one for each
of us?
the One
“Everybody has somebody for
them, but at the same time,
many people can ft that role.”
—Jessica Bricker,
a junior from Kansas City, Kan.
You’ve got to put in
the work...
Most of the time, you can’t just
sit on your butt and wait for that
one perfect person to come to
you. Similarly, you can’t expect
that everything will always work
out magically once you’ve found
the person you think is “the one.”
“So many people think once
you get married or fnd the right
person, life is great,” Maggie Hull,
a junior from Lawrence, says. “But
it’s not about that. It’s about the
relationship and working through
things together.”
Matchmaker Jack Alley stress-
es the importance of commitment.
While the initial excitement and
feeling of fnding the person you
think is perfect for you is great, it
can wear off as time goes on.
“Not every day is going to be
like a honeymoon,” Alley says.
“But you know you’re compatible
and the bottom line is you’ve made
a commitment to make it work.”
Just because someone may be
the perfect person for you doesn’t
mean there won’t be arguments
or times of annoyance down the
“We communicate all the time,
for better or for worse,” Kuran
Bricker, a non-traditional sopho-
more, says of his wife, Jessica, a
junior from Kansas City, Kan. “I
think that’s a good thing, actu-
Photo illustration by Abby Davis
One and Only: How we pursue fnding our soul mate afects our relationships.
Satisfying sweet tooth cravings without
feeling guilty isn’t always easy, especially when
baking. Slightly altering a recipe, however, al-
lows you to create a healthier version of your
favorite treat.
Roxanna Silva, a junior from Olathe, loves
to bake. Chocolate chip cookies and blueberry
lemon zest muffns are two of Silva’s favorite
treats to make, but Silva doesn’t always follow
the recipes exactly. She alters them to make
them more nutritious. “If I’m cooking with four,
I’ll switch to non-bleached whole wheat or I’ll
use nonfat cream cheese or skim milk,” Silva
Whenever you take in calories, you want
to do so healthily, says Hilary Kass, owner of
Ancient Grains Bakery in Lawrence. Reducing
sugar and increasing whole grains in a recipe
helps cut the calorie count while adding nutri-
tional value. “For most things, you can take the
recipe and only use half of the sugar the recipe
calls for,” Kass says.
Using natural sweeteners is another way
to increase the nutrients in your baked goods.
Honey, guava, maple syrup and molasses all
have some nutritional value, Kass says. “Maple
syrup naturally has potassium and calcium, but
it is more expensive,” she says.
Cost isn’t the only thing to consider when
substituting sweeteners; taste is also impor-
tant. “Black strap molasses has the most nu-
tritional value, but it also has a rather strong
favor. Most people use regular molasses in-
stead,” Kass says. You can also use dried fruit
instead of candy. “Dates are great because
they are really sweet but they also have iron
and fber,” Kass says.
> If you’re going to do it, be smart.
Since Cierha Berry was a child, her favorite
part of carving pumpkins for Halloween was
getting beneath the gooey, stringy orange pulp
to pull out the pumpkin seeds, not caring about
carving a jack-o-lantern face. After Berry, a
senior from Salina, collects the seeds from her
pumpkin, her mom dampens the seeds with
water, sprinkles on a little salt and then bakes
them in the oven.
Pumpkin seeds are nutritious when cooked
a healthy way, says Armando Gonzalez-Stuart,
research associate professor in the College of
Health Sciences at the University of Texas at El
Paso. He has researched pumpkin seeds and
says the way you cook them is important. If the
seeds are fried and salt’s added, it takes away
the seeds’ nutritional properties.
Baking pumpkin seeds with no seasonings
is your best option, but if you want a little fa-
vor, use sea salt and pepper sparingly, says
When pumpkin seeds are made this way,
they have a positive effect on your health. The
seeds are a good source of potassium, which
helps maintain normal blood pressure, says
Mary Meck Higgins, associate professor, de-
partment of human nutrition at K-State.
Iron is found in pumpkin seeds too, which
helps carry oxygen in the red blood cells. They
also are an excellent source of magnesium,
which strengthens your bones and prevents
osteoporosis, and contain vitamin E, which is
an antioxidant, so it helps with heart disease
and cancer, Higgins says.
Limit yourself to one cup of pumpkin seeds
a day because they do contain dietary fber,
which can upset your stomach.
Verdict: Good for you, if baked and lightly
> Sometimes it’s hard to tell.
Every week, Brett Wright washes all of
his dirty laundry in one big load, mixing pants,
shirts, socks and underwear in cold water.
Wright, a senior from Austin, Texas, says he
shares two washing machines with 15 other
guys in his fraternity house.
But, when dirty laundry is washed, it’s not
necessarily clean afterward.
Washing machines are contaminated with
fecal bacteria because people wash undergar-
ments with other clothes, says Charles Gerba,
a professor of microbiology at the University of
Arizona. Gerba has researched the germs that
live in our washing machines and says germs
are extremely present in laundromats because
you don’t know what’s been put in their ma-
“The average pair of underwear has about
a tenth of a gram of fecal matter in it,” Gerba
says. When you wash a load of underwear
there are about 100 million E. coli in the water.
Bacteria survive in washing machines and
on the wet clothes because they’re not washed
at a hot enough temperature or bleach isn’t
used. Cold water doesn’t kill a lot of the organ-
isms, and a typical permanent press cycle in
the dryer doesn’t kill them either. Clothes need
to dry for 45 minutes to kill bacteria, only an ex-
tra 15 minutes than the typical cycle.
“You probably wear clothes [with more
germs] than any generation in the last 50 years
because we used hot water only and harsh de-
tergents,” Gerba says.
To get rid of germs such as E. coli and Hepa-
titis A virus, it is important to use bleach, which
kills 99.9 percent of germs on white clothing,
and Clorox 2 for colored clothes, which kills 99
percent of germs. If using a communal wash-
ing machine, run a load of underwear frst with
bleach, Gerba says.
> Dude...gross.
Photo by Kylie Nutt
Photo by Kylie Nutt
Photo by Christy Nutt
Rethink Your Recipe: Substituting healthier ingre-
dients helps boost your treat’s nutritional value.
Seed Snacking: Lightly seasoned, baked
pumpkin seeds make a tasty fall snack.
Dirty Duds: Bacteria inside washing machines
may keep your laundry from getting clean.
| Nadia imafidoN |
Known for being one of the top 50 fnalists on the 2011
season of “american idol,” Caleb Hawley has always had a
love for playing guitar and has diverse musical infuences, from
metallica to martin Sexton. after graduating from the Berklee
College of music in Boston with a jazz degree, he discovered his
talent for songwriting. This shaggy-haired, blue-eyed musician
has won multiple song-writing contests with his original song
lyrics and has already put out three albums. Hawley has toured
all over the nation, playing sold-out venues and festivals and has
shared the stage with mark Cohn, Rusted Root, dave matthews
Band, Shawn mullins and Edwin mcCain.
Caleb Hawley performed at The Granada on monday and he
spoke to Jayplay before he came to Lawrence:
Q // You said you’ve been driving today. Where are you
A // i drove from Chicago to indianapolis. it’s about four hours
so not so bad.
Q // are you traveling with your dog, fargo?
A // i sure am. He is going on tour with me. i’ve done it
once before. Lately i’ve been traveling with many people but i
decided to go old school this time and go solo. Just doing it with
fargo. it’s a lot of fun because i get to hang out with him. The
best part is if you have a rough show, when you walk out you
instantly feel good when you see your dog because dogs don’t
care. That’s a good reason for having him around.
Q // What motivates you to make music?
A // i’ve just been doing music forever. my family was musical
and i got into it when i was 11 or 12. i guess what motivates
me nowadays is just people and the world in general. i have
always been a people watcher and i just enjoy commentating
on human nature. Kind of like Randy Newman who has been a
big inspiration as far as writing goes. music is all i do so i fgure
if i want to be more successful i’ll just make it my life.
Q // What was it like standing in front the judges on american
idol for your frst audition?
A // The frst time it was totally bizarre. i felt like i might as
well be standing in front of the Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles.
famous people just don’t seem real. and there was only one
person their attention was on, which was me, so it was totally
bizarre. it felt good though because Steven Tyler reacted well
right away.
Q // Were you nervous performing for them after that?
A // i was already used to performing before i was on the
show so i didn’t really get nervous. The week we were in Vegas,
i had to learn a song i had never heard before and i was nervous
about remembering the lyrics. i remember thinking, “if i forget
the lyrics, i am totally screwed.”
Q // What song would be the soundtrack to your life?
A // That’s a cool question, but it’s a tough one. There is song
called “feels Like Home” by Randy Newman that i play a lot. it’s a
great song because it has a feeling about being back home but it
is also a great love song.
Q // if you could be anyone for the day, who would it be?
A // Hmm i should go with a musician or actor. No screw it; i
think i’d be Ellen deGeneres. She is so incredibly awesome; she
is funny and i think i’d like to be a girl because i already know
what it’s like to be guy. i mean who wouldn’t want to be Ellen? That
would make me incredibly funny.
Q // You are given the day off from any responsibilities. What
are you doing?
A // i would still be writing music because i fnd it’s hard to fnd
time to do it. Whenever i get a day off, i just try to fnd time to do
some writing and recording. i love doing it. i always feel like i want
to be moving forward and working on it. So yeah, writing some
songs. or hanging out in a tree house.
Q // What advice do you have for college students who aspire
to be musicians?
A // my advice is don’t go to an expensive music school.
don’t even worry about it. i went to music school and i loved it
and learned a ton, but it’s not like you’re a doctor or a lawyer or
something. Then you will have loans to pay off. So just fnd a
few really great teachers and get with them because they can
teach you a lot without having to pay for a music school. and
use them for networking purposes. Networking is everything.
it’s important to hear other musicians and get inspired by them.
Q // Have you ever been to Lawrence? What are you most
excited about for your performance in town?
A // No, but i’ve heard of Lawrence for a long time. People
have always been telling me that i need to play in Lawrence for
the original music scene so i am fnally going to make it happen.
You guys are known for having great music.
Contributed photo
Beautiful Music: Caleb Hawley, a musician and fnalist on “American Idol,” recently performed in Lawrence.
@miilkkk: You ever talk to someone at
school and they lips be lookin like the
Grand Canyon? I think ChapStick should be
required by federal law.
@miilkkk: “I wasn’t that drunk”… “Dude,
you picked up a midget and started scream-
@miilkkk: When someone says the words
“I love you” and you don’t feel the same
way, just say “I love YOUTUBE” real fast.
@miilkkk: PARTY TIP: Puking is just the
body’s way of making more room for the
@miilkkk: I bet raccoons get pissed when
they’re rummaging through a dumpster and
people mistake them for Ke$ha.
@miilkkk: That awkward moment when
someone says “name a good song” and
you suddenly forget all the songs there
were ever made.
@miilkkk: Lil Wayne rapping about love
is bout as believable as Precious talking
about being a personal trainer.
who: Milk
whaT he does: A music artist and
songwriter from Brooklyn.
TwiTTer handle: @miilkkk
why: “He points out day to day things that
he does and tweets them in a funny and re-
latable way,” says Nicole Briggs, a senior
from Manhattan, Kan.,
>The tweets people are talking about. >We know you’re curious.
In the summer of 2009, Amy Thompson, a
sophomore from Shawnee, went on a study
abroad trip to Besancon, France where she dis-
covered she preferred polyamory to monogamy.
Polyamory is the practice of having multiple com-
mitted relationships at a time with the knowledge
and consent of all who are involved. She kept an
open relationship with her boyfriend of two years
while abroad.
I had a man for every day of the week
when I was in France. While abroad, my only
goal was to speak French. Dating someone
turned out to be the best way to learn the lan-
guage because I was always talking to that
person. I had that dynamic multiplied by six,
plus the long-distance boy back home.
There was “Mr. Let’s Go Out.” He was
a Mexican immigrant. We would go out to
lunch, to the movies or dancing. I got what-
ever I wanted when I was with him because
he was really wealthy.
“Mr. Let’s Lurk in Cafés” was Moroc-
can. He always wanted to go to cafés and
have intellectual conversations. He was very
suave and philosophical. He would sip on his
espresso for an hour and a half, and then he
would say “I’m tired of this café. Let’s go.” Then
he would throw back whatever was left in his
tiny cup and we would go to another café.
Then I dated “Mr. Punk Guy.” He had a
mohawk, three earrings, an eyebrow piercing
and a dragon tattoo that went up his body. We
would hang out at the skatepark or go to a bar.
He would drink beers with his friends, but he
would buy me a fruity non-alcoholic drink. Some
days we would just go to his home and eat a jar
of Nutella, watch YouTube videos, and listen to
Daft Punk.
“Mr. Long-distance French Guy” called me
every night for fve months. He was a hunky
French jock who lived an hour outside of Besan-
con. He was really sweet. I still wear the other
half of the heart necklace he gave me.
I’m in love with everyone I meet. For me to
have to pick just one [type] is like asking me to
choose between cheese and chocolate. I love
different things about both. Does my love for
cheese affect my love for chocolate? No. So I
won’t choose.
Polyamory forces me to communicate hon-
estly with my partners. We talk about our limits.
I might not be OK with one of my boyfriends dat-
ing my best friend, for example.
A lot of my friends told me what I was doing
was immoral. The word “whore” was used to
describe me. I didn’t have sex with any of those
guys, not that it would matter. They [my friends]
abandoned me for a lifestyle that made sense
to me.
Contributed photo
Contributed photo
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It’s no longer
about the fIrst
drInk, but the 21st
It is not uncommon for the lyrics “we took
too many shots” of Katy Perry’s song, “Last
Friday Night,” to come alive on the night of a
21st birthday. With students readily taking 21
shots for their 21 years, this risky trend has
become normal.
Roommates Megan Hardy, a senior from
Manhattan, and Brittany Billings, a senior
from Kansas City, Mo., relive their birthday
night all the time by looking through drunken
quotes and pictures in their shot books. Shot
books are scrapbooks commemorating each
of the 21 shots taken on their birthdays.
Pages designed by friends list the shots taken,
where, time of night and who bought the shot.
Someone carries it throughout the night flling
in each space.
Their shared birthday celebration started
out at Cielito Lindo with margaritas and the
frst of the anticipated 21 shots, moved to the
Hawk/Wheel area and ended at Tonic. At the
end of the night, Hardy had taken 17 shots
while Billings had surpassed the goal by two
with 23 shots. Their strategy was carrying
water bottles that they kept full the entire
Hardy says she remembers that night well
and didn’t feel that out of control. Billings
threw up a few times and wouldn’t have
remembered the night if she didn’t have the
shot book. Neither have any regrets. “It was
fun,” Billing says. “I’d do it again. Hell, I want
to do it again for my 22nd birthday.”
The “21 for 21” ritual has become the norm
among college students, according to a study
published by the American Psychological
Association in 2008. Researchers surveyed
2,500 students at the University of Missouri to
see if they drank on their 21st birthdays and
if so, how much. Eighty-fve percent of the
students reported drinking, with 34 percent of
men drinking 21 drinks or more, and 24 percent
of women drinking 21 drinks or more.
Media had already emphasized the risks of
21st birthday extreme drinking, but no studies
had been done to show the scary statistics,
says Aesoon Park, assistant professor of
psychology at Syracuse University and data
analyst of the APA study. “This paper shows
students had been drinking before, but their
drinking reaches dangerous levels when they
try to celebrate their 21st birthday.”
Some of the students surveyed who
drank 21 drinks didn’t stop there. Men drank
a maximum of 50 drinks and women drank
a maximum of 30. Having four to fve drinks
within two hours is considered binge drinking.
Park says it was really frightening to see
that 20 percent of non-drinkers drank large
amounts because it was their 21st birthday.
These non-drinkers that decide to drink
at extreme levels are at a high risk because
of their lack of experience, says Keith Durkin,
criminologist at Ohio Northern University
who has published several articles on binge
drinking. “They have never experienced
alcohol before, so they are venturing into
uncharted waters,” Durkin says.
The college drinking scene has not
necessarily changed too dramatically since he
was a student. He knew people in the 80s who
attempted a “21 beers for 21 years” challenge.
“But [with] beer, it took them several hours to
attempt that feat,” Durkin says. “What scares
me about shots is that they can be downed in
a very short time. Twenty-one units of alcohol
in a very short time is too much for anyone.”
With alcohol poisoning as a very serious
risk of this rite of passage, it is scary to see
this ritual has become commonplace, says the
University’s Assistant Vice Provost, Kathryn
Tuttle. When she was a student at Kansas,
students under 21 were permitted to have
beer with 3 percent alcohol or less. Students
didn’t have fake IDs because they were
allowed to get into the bars and no one had
even heard of pre-drinks or what we now call
This does not mean the drinking scene
was unheard of. At this time, drinking hours
were enforced and often women from Tuttle’s
scholarship hall would have to climb in her
window on the frst foor after hours, some of
which were very intoxicated. Tuttle was never
much of a drinker.
Tuttle accomplished her personal goal
of climbing the highest peak in the Sierra
Nevada Mountains on her 21st birthday,
something she had wanted to do for a while.
“I don’t think I even had any alcohol that day,”
Tuttle says.
Tuttle isn’t saying you have to climb a
mountain on your birthday, but she isn’t
praising blacked-out blurs that Katy Perry
insists rules. “Have fun and be safe,” Tuttle
says. “Do something that you will remember.“
Other ri sky Bi rthday tradi ti Ons
Birthday Crawl
what is it: Crawling from bar to bar (because you are too drunk to walk at this point)
why it is risky: Students who do this often drink up to 50 percent more on their birthday
If you HAVE to: At least eat something at each place you stop, and don’t feel like you have to drink at
each place.
Power hour
what is it: Drinking one shot of beer every 60 seconds for one hour OR drinking as much as you can
the hour after you turn 21
why it is risky: That’s 7.5 beers (one shot every 60 seconds for one hour). This is binge drinking in a
very short period of time.
**Information from**
Photo illustration by Nadia Imafdon
Have Your Cake and Drink Some Too: Binge drinking
has become a popular 21st birthday celebration.
Stage preSence // SICK NIFTY
Last month, local DJ Sick Nifty blasted the
bass and mixed on the turntables at The Granada
Theater with dubstep artist DATSIK and several
others. Sick Nifty opened the show, debuting
new material and bringing the crowd to its feet.
Sick Nifty, whose real name is Loren Haas,
is a self-proclaimed electronic/thrash artist from
Kansas City, Kan. Growing up, Haas was infu-
enced by DJ Qbert, DJ Revolution and Planet
Asia, as well as punk music. Sick Nifty brings a
different style of electronic and dubstep to the
stage, remixing rap artists like Tyler the Creator
in his latest releases.
“I’ve got two EPs coming and two new sin-
gles that are coming along well,” Haas says. “I
love that the kids out there [in Lawrence] are
down to party 24/7. For instance, DATSIK was
on a Tuesday, and that show was packed to the
walls by 10 p.m.”
Haas makes an effort to get the crowd in-
volved with every song during his shows. Wheth-
er it’s dancing around on stage, calling out to the
audience on the microphone or just the music
itself, attendees at Sick Nifty shows are always
down to dance and enjoy themselves.
“I try to combine the styles of electro, met-
al, fdget, disco and dubstep often with traces
of other genres I feel into at the time to create
something nasty,” Haas says. “There really
aren’t boundaries anymore.”
Sick Nifty’s next show is at the Riot Room in
Kansas City, Mo., on Nov. 12. Check out Sick Nif-
ty’s fan page at
> Feel free to swoon.
Contributed photo
Feeling Sick: Kansas City-based musician Sick
Nifty will perform Nov. 12 at the Riot Room.
His music combines electronic, metal and
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I’m 12 years old and getting ready for school in front of the mirror with my 14-year-old sister.
I’m 4 feet 11 inches and I weigh 120 pounds. She is 5 feet 3 inches and weighs no more than 105
pounds. My eyes are glued to our refections.
She is this wafer thin, beautiful, healthy girl. Her clothes cling to her perfectly, hugging her
slightly boney body. And then there is me. This disgusting, huge monster. Nothing about me is
beautiful. All I can see is ugly. My clothes cling to me too, showing my lumpy body. Fat. The one
word I hated and never wanted to believe about myself.
I didn’t always feel this way. In elementary school I was apathetic about the fact that my body
was slightly larger than my friends. But in junior high, I started making a comparison to my older
sister that started to distort my perception and our fghts would bring words that made me see
truth in these negative beliefs.
When my sister and I fought, her greatest weapon was “at least I’m not fat like you!” and that
was the end of the war. That would drive me to my room so that I could sob into my pillow while
my mom lectured her for hurting me. Later I’d get an apology from her, which really never made
the truth disappear.
My mom tried to comfort me, saying I’d thin out when I got taller. That didn’t matter to me. All I
saw was fat. I started to undress away from mirrors and I never looked down in the shower. Later
I pretended like it didn’t bother me. When my sister teased me about my weight, I’d reply “it’s not
like I’m in denial about that. I am fat. There are no clothes out there for someone like me. I might as
well be a cow. You happy?” Those words made her feel bad without my mom having to lecture her.
I’d saunter off, pleased that I made her feel bad, choking back tears.
I never used to look forward to opening my parents’ gifts because my dad would always pick out
dresses for us. My sister’s would be a perfect ft. More often than not, mine would be returned for
a larger size after my family stared at me saying
that maybe my dress was a bit “snug.” I took
that as the polite version of “you are just too fat
for that dress, Nadia.” I’d never let on that it af-
fected me. I felt like I was the inferior sister. I
was the ugly one. My family doesn’t know this,
but I cared so much that it destroyed me.
When I reached college I was 5 feet and
7 inches tall and slightly overweight. Nothing
drastic, but I didn’t see myself that way. I saw
fat. I heard once that fat people have to be funny
otherwise they’d have nothing going for them so
I focused on making my friends laugh. I came off
as slightly egotistical, constantly joking about
my ravishing looks. I put up this humorous bar-
rier, never admitting to anyone that I didn’t even
have self-esteem, let alone low self-esteem.
Even though I was surrounded by good
friends in my hall, I was too embarrassed to
open up to them about self-image, and worried
they would confrm my beliefs. During fresh-
man year, I met this boy, Tim Clark, who was
known in his dorm as “Barefoot Tim.” He never
wore shoes, always climbed trees and, like me,
he rarely went to bed early. We started going
for walks at 3 a.m. around campus, just talking
about everything. Nothing was off limits, from
conversations about painful past relationships
to losing loved ones. Hanging out with him was
therapeutic. I never felt like I had to hold back
anything, and this ended up working in my fa-
I remember the exact moment Tim made me
question my negative self-image. Tim was on a
trip to St. Louis and was texting me about the
snowy weather his family was driving through.
He told me it was beautiful, “almost as beautiful
as you” was how he phrased it. It was so simply
stated, but it left me confused. I thought maybe
he meant the text for someone else. I became
angry, thinking that he was screwing with me.
I ignored the text and tried to push it far from
my mind.
I confronted him when he got back. I told
him never to use the word “beautiful” with me
again. He laughed right in my face and told me I
was beautiful. I let it go, hoping it wouldn’t hap-
pen again. He took that as permission to call me
beautiful given any opportunity.
I broke down one night over the word beauti-
ful. Whenever I got overwhelmed in my classes
I’d rant to Tim about everything that bothered
me, including my appearance. I told him I knew
I was fat and that he needed to stop lying to me.
He fought the word fat with the word beautiful
and I lost it, telling him to stop fucking with me,
and breaking into sobs similar to when my sister
teased me. By then the word beautiful bothered
me more than the word fat. That was the frst
night I had ever told anyone why those words
triggered such strong emotions.
Tim never stopped commenting on my beau-
ty. It was like he was trying to make up for lost
time, fghting every painful word that I had used
for myself in the past. He has spent hours with
me, on countless nights, listening to my stories
of a girl who used to be so broken. I can hon-
estly say that Tim Clark put me back together.
Tim never quite understood why I ever used
such negative words to describe myself. After
a while, neither could I. My negativity didn’t
just disappear overnight, by any means, but
I stopped relying on Tim’s reassurance and
slowly started letting go of my self-deprecating
tendencies. Once I started to notice my own
beauty, I started to notice all the people who
saw it too.
I’ve learned that looking in the mirror with a
positive outlook has changed everything about
my self-perception. I am not actively looking
for my faws, and I try to embrace the imper-
fections. I never thought I’d be able to tolerate
my appearance let alone love who I am. The
person I used to see is a stranger these days. I
know I’m beautiful.
Shaking the self-deprecating lies to see myself as beautiful
Contributed photo
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