Jaylay

LIFE. AND HOW TO HAVE ONE.
March 8, 2012
WHAT IT’s LIkE INsIDE AN
ANxIOus MIND
Scared to
Speak:
Miss Kansas
Waiting until the
Wedding:
gOINg FrOM ku, TO THE
MIss usA pAgEANT, AND
bAck AgAIN
cOupLEs WHO AbsTAIN
FrOM sEx
LINDSEY DEITER | ASSOCIATE EDITOR
From the Editor} {
WhAT’S hOT ThIS WEEk
All in the family
INSIDE ThIS ISSuE
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ThuRSDAY mARCh 8
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fRIDAY mARCh 9
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SATuRDAY mARCh 10
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SuNDAY mARCh 11
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mONDAY mARCh 12
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TuESDAY mARCh 13
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WEDNESDAY mARCh 14
WhAT: precious knowledge (film)
WhEN: 7:30 pm
WhERE: kansas union, jayhawk room
WhY YOu CARE: the student coalition for immi-
grants is offering this free presentation of a
student and teacher fighting for education in
tucson, ariz.
WhAT: peter pan
WhEN: 7 pm
WhERE: lawrence arts center
WhY YOu CARE: for those of you still
searching for “never never land.”
tickets $5-7.
WhAT: summer and smoke
WhEN: 7:30 to 9:30 pm
WhERE: crafton-preyer theatre, murphy hall
WhY YOu CARE: this tennessee williams’ classic
american drama, directed by doctoral stu-
dent boone hopkins, covers lust, truth and
morality. what more do you need?
WhAT: the noise fm, photo atlas, archie
powell
WhEN: 10 pm
WhERE: replay lounge
WhY YOu CARE: the noise fm has returned
to their hometown lawrence. you don’t
want to miss this.
WhAT: karaoke idol!
WhEN: 10 pm
WhERE: jazzhaus
WhY YOu CARE: live out your dream of being
an amazing singer in front of a large crowd
of people that will likely cheer you on, no
matter what.
WhAT: internship symposium
WhEN: 5 to 7 pm
WhERE: burge union
WhY YOu CARE: you want a job. internships
can often pave the way to make obtaining
one easier.
WhAT: “religion for atheists”
WhEN: 7:30 pm
WhERE: spooner hall
WhY YOu CARE: swiss author alain de botton who
has published on film, architecture, philosophy,
art and literature gives a presentation on a secu-
lar route to deep fulfillment.
EDITOR sss NADIA IMAFIDON
ASSOCIATE EDITOR sss LINDSEY DEITER
DESIGNERS sss EMILY GRIGONE, ALLIE WELCH
LOVE sss SASHA LUND, ALIZA CHUDNOW, RACHEL SCHWARTZ
SCHOOL sss ALLISON BOND, MEGAN HINMAN
CAMPUS + TOWN sss KELSEA ECKENROTH, JOHN GARFIELD, BRITTNEY HAYNES
ENTERTAINMENT sss KELSEY CIPOLLA, RACHEL SCHULTZ, ALEX TRETBAR
PLAY sss SARA SNEATH, RACHEL CHEON
CONTRIBUTORS sss MICHELLE MACBAIN, LANDON MCDONALD, LIZZIE MARX
CREATIVE CONSULTANT sss CAROL HOLSTEAD
H
umans are social animals, and
college students seem to be a
breed quite their own. You can’t
make it from Watson Library to Wescoe
Beach without passing clusters of chirp-
ing young men and women. Tere’s not
a class period that goes by that someone
doesn’t sneak a peek at their cell phone,
or give in to the enticing distraction that
is social media and pull up Facebook be-
hind their note-taking Word document.
Afer all, if you’ve seen “Te Social Net-
work,” you know who created Facebook—
a college student. And who did it cater to?
College students.
Te stereotypical 18-24 year old college
student is extremely social, will go to a
party or a bar as ofen as time and the
body will allow and has no hesitations
voicing his or her opinions to anyone else.
It takes about one day on campus as a col-
lege student to see that that generalization
just doesn’t hold true. Remember that
awkward moment when a professor asks
a question and the entire class sits there
in silence at odds with him or her, wait-
ing for the professor to move on while
the professor waits just as stubbornly for
some response or sign of life from the
students?
Personally, I’m one of those students
who has no qualms speaking up and
ofering my opinion. But afer so many
seconds of silence, I too fnd myself
uncomfortably squirming, not knowing
how to break the self-conscious still that’s
settled over the classroom.
Why is it that students spent so much
of their free time socializing, yet freeze
up when ofered a legitimate intellectual
platform to voice their thoughts and
opinions? If this is another question that’s
answered with silence, check out Kelsea’s
feature story on social anxiety and how it
can afect our relationships, professional
and education roles, and our lives. Not
everyone needs to be an extroverted ge-
nius to be successful, but as the great poet
Virgil said, “Fortune favors the bold.”
PHOTO BY VICTOR BERGMANN
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Major turn-ons: Good sense of humor,
having a passion in life, someone who
loves KU and someone who is tolerant.
Major turn-offs: A pastel wardrobe,
materialism, any kind of association with
Mizzou, and someone who is a drunken
hot mess.
Hobbies/interests: KU basketball, music,
playing with my niece and nephew, cook-
ing poorly, traveling and Spanish.
When Abigail Mott, a sophomore from
Eudora, went to visit her twin sister at
Pittsburg State University last year, she
certainly didn’t expect to meet her boy-
friend of 16 months, Caleb Whitehead, a
sophomore from Alton, Ill. Abigail said
she saw Caleb in passing, but it wasn’t un-
til she saw him at a fraternity party later
that night that she got to know him.
“Her sister was being a Debbie Downer
and wanted to go home, but Abby didn’t,
so she asked me to hang out with her and
get her home safely because she thought I
was a good guy,” Caleb says.
Abigail and Caleb, who both consider
themselves movie bufs, dated long-
distance for a while, until Whitehead
transferred to KU last fall. Tey both live
in scholarship halls on campus. Abigail
says they weren’t sure how their relation-
ship would change when he moved to
Lawrence, but now they value spending
time together because they didn’t have
that in the past.
“It’s defnitely more fun to live two
doors apart than two hours,” Abigail says.
Catch of the Week
LOVE
// sasHa Lund
MeLanie gorges
HoMetown: andaLe
Year: senior
Major: secondarY engLisH and
spanisH education
interested in: Men
ceLebritY crusH: Kirk Hinrich. He was
my middle school hero.
wHY i’M a catcH: I am one part sweet and
two parts sass!
wHat wouLd Your Last MeaL be?: It doesn’t
matter as long as it is with good company.
tHeMe song to Your Life: Uptown Girl by
Billy Joel.
Couples Advice: abigaiL Mott
and caLeb wHiteHead // sasHa Lund
Dating tip: Focus on the positive and ap-
preciate each other.
Abigail says the key to their relation-
ship is making each other smile and
laugh. For fun, the couple likes to attend
sporting events at KU because they are
both huge Jayhawk fans. Although Abigail
says they may argue over whether to see
an action movie or a romantic comedy,
there’s nothing a good talk and a bowl of
ice cream can’t fx.
“In the grand scheme of things, once
you talk about a problem, it doesn’t seem
to matter anymore,” Abigail says.
contributed pHoto
contributed pHoto
tabLE Of cOntEnts
LOVE: pLay:
pErsOnaL Essay:
schOOL: thE jayhawk
wOmEn’s OrganizatiOn
LOVE: cELEbrity dish
EntErtainmEnt:
Until she was almost
married, she had never
been kissed... by choice.
A physical disability can’t
stop this man from going
the distance.
How one Jayplay writer had
to come back home to fnd
herself.
A new women’s group
on campus will bring the
Lunafest flm festival to
Lawrence.
Now a junior at KU, Jaymie
Stokes was Miss Kansas in
2011.
“Chop Chop” art display at
the Wonder Fair. Art with...
Tic Tacs and clothespins?
5 13
15
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cOVOr phOtO by traVis yOung
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Michelle’s Se Trivia:
* Upper Paleolithic art dating back
30,000 years depicts people using dildos
to pleasure themselves and others.
Te
Hookup
Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, is a graduate student
in Communication Studies. She studied Psychology
and Human Sexuality at KU and the University of
Amsterdam.
LOVE
* Women who went to college are more
likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral
sex.
* When a drone (a male honey bee)
mates with a Queen bee, its abdomen is
ripped open during copulation and it dies
soon afer.
* Te fear of having, seeing, or thinking
about an erection is called ithyphallopho-
bia.
* Kinsey reported that sex reduces stress,
and that people who have fulflling sex
lives are less anxious, less violent and less
hostile.
* Aphrodite, the goddess of sexual inter-
course, emerged from the foaming semen
of her father’s castrated testicles.
* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legal-
ly allowed to kill her adulterous husband,
but may only do so with her bare hands.
Te husband’s lover, on the other hand,
may be killed in any manner desired.
* It was considered elegant for aristo-
cratic ladies of the 16th century to let
their pubic hair grow as long as possible
so it could be pomaded and adorned with
bows and ribbon.
* Te condom is said to be named afer
the Earl of Condom, a British physician at
the court of Charles II who was asked by
the king to design him something to keep
him from developing syphilis. Te oiled
sheep intestine was a big hit.
* Humans aren’t the only species that
partake in oral sex; cheetahs, hyenas and
goats all go down too.
* In Harrisburg, Penn., it’s against the
law to have sex with a truck driver in a
toll booth.
* Tree out 1,000 men (0.3 percent) are
well endowed enough to fellate them-
selves to orgasm.
* Half of the men raised on farms have
had a sexual encounter with an animal.
* Te clitoris is the only organ in the
human body that has just one purpose:
pleasure.
* Average length of penis when not
erect: 3.5 inches; Average length when
erect: 5.1.
* Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely
to be interested in a one-night stand than
those with only a Bachelor’s degree.
* 30 percent of women more than 80
years old still have sexual intercourse
either with their spouse or boyfriend.
* Porpoises enjoy group sex.
* Te most recorded orgasms in an hour
by researchers at the Center for Marital
and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, Calif,
was 134 by one woman and 16 for a man.
* Tose most likely to have unsafe sex
without asking about their partner’s
sexual history are the Swedes (64 per-
cent don’t ask), followed by the Japanese,
Norwegians and South Africans (all 58
percent) the US falls in at 47 percent.
* Te frst couple to be shown in bed
together on prime time television were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
* 14 percent of men said that they did
not enjoy sex the frst time.
* 60 percent of women say they did not
enjoy sex the frst time.
* Te frst known contraceptive was
crocodile dung, used by the Egyptians in
2000 B.C. Afer the realization that the
dung was useless, it was replaced with
elephant droppings.
* One of the most famous transvestites
in history was Chevalier d’Eon de Beau-
mont, a diplomat in service to Louis XV.
He lived to the age of 83, having spent 49
years as a man and 34 as a woman.
Email questions to michelle@michellemacbain.com
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W
hen I frst decided I wanted to
write a story about students and
couples who choose to remain abstinent
until marriage, people looked at me like
I was crazy. I received comments like,
“It’s only afer marriage when the absti-
nence kicks in” or “An abstaining couple
in Lawrence? Good luck.” Tis just made
me more determined to prove these
comments wrong. I knew on a campus
flled with 26,266 students, there had to
be those who were proud to go through
college without succumbing to the pres-
sures many students face when it comes
to having sex.
Rachael Ryan, a 2009 KU graduate
and intern for Cru, a spiritual resource for
students on campus, was raised in a home
and school environment where remain-
ing abstinent was the norm. At 13, her
parents gave her a purity ring that read,
“true love waits,” and by the time she
was a freshman in college, she still hadn’t
experienced her frst kiss. “I remember
my freshman year sitting around in my
sorority. Tere were a bunch of seniors
that were like ‘Oh my gosh, you’ve never
kissed a guy. We’re going to make that
happen,’” Ryan says.
Diferent people tried to convince
her to “shack” at a guy’s house or have
someone stay the night at hers, but one
thing Ryan says she was blessed with was
confdence to stand frm in her convic-
tions and not let a few people’s comments
get to her. “With people’s reactions I felt
diferent, but with my strong will, I felt
okay with being diferent,” Ryan says. “I
wanted people to know that I was okay
with who I was.”
During the summer of 2008, Ryan met
her now-husband Billy Ryan while intern-
ing as seasonal workers at Walt Disney
World. Tey both maintained the same
views on sex and didn’t end up sharing
their frst kiss until three months before
they were engaged. Looking back now,
they both realize that they were missing a
sense of intimacy by not kissing, but they
do not regret their decision. “Billy is the
only man I have kissed, the only man I
have had sex with and the only man I will
ever be in love with,” Ryan says.
While Ryan never succumbed to the
pressures she faced regarding abstinence,
there are still demands from the outside
world to stray away from this choice.
Some of these pressures can be associ-
ated not only with the college environ-
ment, but also from the extreme emphasis
the media and society places on sex in
general.
Christine Eckley, an External Afairs
Administrator for the National Absti-
nence Education Association, says that
because having sex is perceived as the
norm, there is more encouragement to
indulge in it. “College is the frst time
many students have been on their own,
and for several, a time to determine what
their values really are,” Eckley said. “Most
communication they receive, even from
the University itself, encourages sexual
experimentation. Tere is little to no
information that points to abstinence.”
Right before starting her freshman
year at KU, Bridget Lamb, a senior from
Exton, Penn., decided that she was going
to stay abstinent until marriage. In high
school, Lamb knew she didn’t want to get
used or hurt by guys. As she began to fur-
ther explore her religion and learn more
about God, she began to understand why
she was making this choice. “Te Bible
says in numerous places that in marriage,
a man and a wife become one fesh,”
Lamb says. “To me, that’s one, a represen-
tative of your relationship; and two, the
physical act of sex.”
Lamb has been dating her boyfriend,
Jono Bowles, a 2011 KU graduate from
Lawrence, for two years and believes that
not having sex forces them to get creative
with their relationship. Her favorite date
they have shared was when they took
the popular song “Chicken Fried” by Zac
Brown Band and acted out every line.
“Sometimes it’s not all about the physi-
cal things that show you love each other,”
Lamb says. “Tere is always the desire to
have sex, but we made a choice not to and
that is factual about us, so it is not even
an option.”
Being at KU for the last three and a
half years has taught Lamb that every-
body has their own opinions on sex. She
has never felt pressure from her friends
to do something she wasn’t comfortable
with, and she never thought her choice
was weird. While she was lucky to never
deal with others criticisms regarding her
decision, Lamb believes that it can some-
times be hard to rid the common labels
when living in a college environment.
“Like drinking and blowing of class, sex
is another college stereotype,” Lamb says.
“It takes a strong, college student to base
their opinions not on what society tells
them to do, but what they want to do.”
Chooing abtinence
love
Despite pressure from the outside world, students uphold their decision to remain abstinent
//aliza chudnow
{ {
Did you know….
There is an urban myth,
according to a KU legend, that
if you graduate a virgin, the
gold Jayhawk outside of Strong
hall will fy away.
photo by claire howard
Making a choice: Some couples decide together to wait until the wedding night to have sex.
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LOVE
In the spring of 2011, Jaymie Stokes,
a junior, took the semester of from KU
to prepare for the 2011 Miss USA pag-
eant where she competed as Miss Kansas.
Jaymie traveled to Las Vegas for three
weeks that summer and made appearances
with the other Miss USA contestants, and
on June 19, 2011, Jaymie competed in the
pageant. She did not place among the top
contestants, but still had a wonderful time
and met some amazing people. Now back
at KU studying journalism, Jaymie has
great stories and memories to share from
her time representing the sunfower state as
Miss Kansas USA.
What Was a day in the life like to be Miss
kansas?
When I was Miss Kansas USA, my life
was pretty hectic. On an average day
I would get up, go to the gym for two
hours, come back and get hair and
makeup ready for an appearance at an
elementary school, and then at night
I would watch the news for about two
hours to stay up to date on current events.
Some days I would have meetings with
my pageant directors and I would practice
interview questions, work on walking on
stage and design my evening gown and
my other wardrobe for Miss USA.
Celeb Dish: JayMie stokes
Who Was the Most attractive celebrity
you Met When you Were participating in
Miss kansas?
I was given the opportunity to meet
Donald Trump in New York City. He may
not be the most attractive celebrity, but
he sure was a firt! Everyone always asks
me what his hair looked like up close and
I must say it was not as bad as it looks on
TV. Mr. Trump was a very pleasant man
and was not as harsh as I thought he was
going to be. Te frst thing he said to me
afer he shook my hand was “Wow, you
are tall!” (I am 5’11”).
What characteristics do you search for
in guys?
I look for someone who can make me
laugh. I think in a relationship it’s im-
portant to joke around and be yourself
around them. I search for someone I can
feel comfortable around. While being
Miss Kansas USA I had to be dressed up
with hair, makeup, heels and dresses but I
think it is important to fnd someone who
you feel comfortable wearing sweatpants
and no makeup around.
What is your favorite date spot in
laWrence?
Whether it’s going out to dinner, going
shopping, or just going on a walk I think
Mass. Street is such a fun place to have a
date. Tere are so many options there and
the walk is beautiful.
did you get More attention froM guys
When they found out you Were Miss
kansas?
I did notice a bit more attention from
guys when they found out I was Miss
Kansas USA, but it didn’t matter to me.
My boyfriend, Tyler (a KU junior), and I
have been dating for almost two years and
we started dating before I even won the
title. I don’t want a guy that only wants
to talk to me because I was Miss Kansas
USA and I feel lucky to have found Tyler
before this whole experience.
// aliza chudnoW
contributed photo
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with the Jayhawk
Women's Organization
Building relationships
with roommates
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school
The Jayhawk Women’s Organization is about personal growth and strengthening the charac-
ter of Jayhawk women, says Maureen Flaherty, vice president of the Jayhawk Women’s Organi-
zation, or JWO. Flaherty, a junior from St. Louis, and Elizabeth Najim, president of JWO and a
junior from Wichita, are more interested in sharing information about the safety and empower-
ment of women than taking a stance on political gender issues.
The organization began just fve weeks ago when Najim had the idea to start a campus
group for empowering women and raising awareness about health and safety issues for women.
Though JWO is in its beginning stages, Najim sees several opportunities for the group in the
future.
The group plans to host guest speakers at monthly group meetings and participate in other
events like self-defense classes. Najim also wants to host several community service events,
where participants could volunteer at places like the Willow Domestic Violence Center.
One of the frst offcial JWO events will be hosting the touring flm festival Lunafest. A joint
event with GaDuGi SafeCenter, a victim-centered service center for women, Lunafest will be
at 4 p.m. on Sunday, April 22 at Liberty Hall, 644 Mas-
sachusetts St. The festival is “for women, by women, about
women.”
The group is focused on women’s empowerment, but JWO
encourages men to join the group to improve their attitudes
about women. The information on women’s health and
safety could increase men’s awareness and sensitivity to the
issues the women in their lives deal with.
Caitlin Buss remembers Harry Potter and Twilight movie nights, roommate dinners and
walking trips to Dairy Queen, double-fsting delicious blizzard treats on the way back to the
house on Massachusetts Street where she lived with three other girls last year. “It was a really
awesome experience,” Buss says. “There was always someone in the house. It’s nice to have
that girl time. I miss having that ‘Oh my god, this happened at school today’ kind of thing.”
Buss and the three girls built roommate relationships with fun traditions like roommate
Christmas. “We set aside one day to get together and exchange gifts. First year, the rule was to
wear leggings with pants and Old Navy slipper socks. We all hated seeing leggings as pants,”
Buss says. But what really built roommate relationships was purposefully doing daily activities
together like having house dinners, doing homework in the living room together, or fnding that
one TV show that everyone likes. “It’s also good to plan for the practical things,” Buss says.
“Like, ‘Who is going to take out the trash or buy the toilet paper?’”
Glenn Adams, a social psychology professor, says that while roommates can provide several
practical benefts like a social network or sharing household responsibilities, they can also be
sources of friction. Adams says that rooming with friends sometimes doesn’t work out and can
create added stresses. There is no one answer for avoiding friction between roommates.
Buss says that bathroom time was the hardest part of having four girls living in the same
house with one bathroom. “It was rough when we would have to get up at the same time for
class and all spending a long time in the bathroom,” Buss says.
Despite stresses that roommates can bring, Buss found that the good outweighed the bad.
“The Mass Girls” even made their own Twitter tag modeled off “Shit My Dad Says.” Using the
#massgirlsbanter hash tag, the roommates post funny quotes that each other say. One example
is “There’s nothing I hate more in the morning than opening
my mouth for things other than my toothbrush and cereal.”
Or, “Finding chocolate on your notes is like confessions of a
secret fat kid.”
“The chemistry that we had made us really funny to-
gether and so a lot of funny things happened.” Buss says.
Survival Skills:
Getting involved
//allison bond
//megan hinman
contributed photo
From left to right: elizabeth Filkins, emily
soetaert, caitlin buss and Kate hogan
contributed photo
maureen Flaherty and elizabeth najim
For more information, visit the Facebook page, Jayhawk
Women’s Organization.
&&
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I
’m sitting in a classroom with about
20 other students. Te professor asks
us a question. A few seconds go by,
and no one speaks up. Te truth is
that I know the answer, and it’s on the tip
of my tongue, but every time I open my
mouth to speak I can’t fnd my voice. My
stomach feels like it’s full of butterfies,
my body gets hot and my heart is pound-
ing out of my chest. I’m paralyzed by my
anxiety.
Finally the girl sitting a few rows in
front of me answers the question with my
exact thoughts. She was correct. I sit there
disappointed because of my failure to
simply state an answer. Why didn’t I say
anything? I tell myself I’ll just speak up
next time, but I know I won’t. I never do.
The Anxious Mind
How social anxiety affects us and How we can make it go away
// Kelsea ecKenroth Tis is how it’s been my entire life. I’ve
always had anxiety in the classroom and
around people I don’t know. I remember
my sixth-grade teacher getting mad at me
because he didn’t understand why I never
volunteered to solve our morning math
problem on the white board in front of
the class. I was afraid of being wrong and
felt comfortable remaining invisible.
Now I’m a senior in college, and my
fear of speaking in class brings down the
10 percent of my participation grade .
Speaking in front of a group of people I
don’t know, whether it’s giving a presenta-
tion or just giving an answer to a ques-
tion, scares the hell out of me. Tis is
because I have a little bit of social anxiety,
which Ashley Smith, a staf psychologist
feature
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at the Kansas City Center for Anxiety
Treatment, says is probably the most
common type of anxiety.
What is social anxiety?
Smith says about 20 percent of college
students have social anxiety. Te National
Institute of Mental Health defnes social
anxiety among adults as “a persistent, in-
tense, and chronic fear of being watched
and judged by others and feeling embar-
rassed or humiliated by their actions.”
Tis fear can become so severe that it
interferes with work, school and other
activities.
People who have social anxiety have
the fear of appearing negatively to others
and have certain thinking patterns and
thoughts. Smith says one of the thinking
patterns is called mind reading, which is
when someone assumes everyone else is
thinking something negative about them.
People with social anxiety tend to over
estimate the amount of attention people
are paying to them and spend a lot of
time in their own heads evaluating what
they say and do, as well as what they will
do next. Tey don’t want to say something
embarrassing or look dumb.
It’s normal for everyone to experi-
ence some sort of anxiety, especially in
situations such as giving a presentation
or speaking in public. Smith says social
anxiety is a continuum. “Someone can
be socially anxious without crossing the
social anxiety disorder threshold,” she
says. “If the anxiety is interfering with a
person’s functioning, or causing a person
to not have the social life they want to
have, then it’s a disorder.”
hoW it affects people
Social anxiety can cause major inter-
ference in the life of college students,
says Ron Rapee, a psychology professor
from Sydney whose research focuses on
anxiety and author of “Overcoming Shy-
ness and Social Phobia: A Step by Step
guide.” Rapee says at lower levels, social
anxiety might afect class presentations
or talking to professors and other people
of authority. On a higher level, social
anxiety can start afecting friendships and
limit romantic relationships as well as
lead to perfectionism and difculty with
assignments. At the highest level, Rapee
says social anxiety can stop people from
coming to class and might lead to severe
loneliness and isolation, and eventually
cause students to drop out of school.
Social anxiety has physical symptoms,
including sweating, rapid heart rate,
blushing, shaking, difculty breathing,
dry mouth and an upset stomach. Erin
Gomer, a senior from Bonner Springs,
says when she attempts to speak in class
she gets nervous and feels like she is
blushing. “Instead of just talking, its
easier not to talk because I don’t like the
nervous and uncomfortable feeling,” she
says. Gomer hasn’t been diagnosed with
the disorder, but she says she gets anxious
when she is around a lot of people on
campus.
Social situations are easier for Gomer
than being in the classroom. When
Gomer is in social situations she can
tell who the other shy people are in the
group and sparks up conversation with
them. “Socially you can pick the topic and
comment on their shoes or something.
It’s really easy to start a conversation. If
you’re in a classroom you can’t control the
conversation,” she says.
When Katie Copeland, a senior from
Dallas, was in high school she hardly ever
spoke in class and didn’t look at people
when she walked down the hallway. She
always thought they were judging her.
Copeland was diagnosed with social anxi-
ety her sophomore year of high school.
She says her anxiety has gotten better
since she came to college, but Copeland’s
anxiety still fnds its way back to her.
Some days she will be so anxious she
won’t want to leave her apartment. Other
days it won’t bother her at all.
If Copeland doesn’t like what she is
wearing one day, she will worry everyone
around her is looking at her and secretly
criticizing the way she looks. She goes the
entire day only thinking about that and
nothing else. “I know that that it’s not true
and that they have more important things
going on and are not focused on me, but I
just can’t get that thought out of my head
that they are only focused on my stupid
hairdo that day,” she says. Listening to a
good song on her iPod and reminding
herself that the people around her aren’t
looking at her help Copeland relax.
hoW to deal With it
Medication is available to help ease
anxiety. Selective Serotonin Reuptake
Inhibitors, or SSRI, are medications that
can be prescribed for people with severe
anxiety, but they take three to six weeks
to start working. Anxiety medications
called benzodiazepines, such as Xanax,
Valium and Librium, can be prescribed
for anxiety as well.
If you take anxiety medications on a
regular basis, there’s a risk that you can
become addicted to them, says Russ
Settle, a psychiatrist from Colorado. Settle
says if you think your anxiety is so severe
that you need medication, you should
consider going to a professional, such as a
psychiatrist, to help diagnose your level of
anxiety. If you take medication, he recom-
mends going to counseling or therapy as
well because the chances of getting better
with solely medication aren’t as great.
Ron Rapee says to change your
thought patterns and expose yourself to
those situations that cause anxiety until
you are used to them. Te treatments are
practical and based on learning new cop-
ing skills. Learning to think more realisti-
cally, getting good feedback from trusted
others, reading self help books and
gradually facing the situations that make
you frightened over and over again are all
ways Rapee says will help overcome social
anxiety. Tis kind of treatment has helped
me.
Majoring in journalism and interview-
ing many diferent people for the stories
I write has helped me become more
confdent and less anxious around people
I don’t know. When I took my frst jour-
nalism class that involved interviewing
strangers, I wanted to drop the course and
even thought about changing my major.
I decided I had to deal with my fear and
forced myself to continue with my class. I
realized I enjoy talking to new people and
hearing what they have to say.
social anxiety in the
professional World
I have become more confdent being
the interviewer, but when the tables are
turned and I am the one being inter-
viewed, I get anxious. I stumble over
my words and have to keep digging into
my mind until I fnd the right words. A
successful job interview is something
that I need afer graduation and I’m
going to need to fgure out how to have
one without letting my anxiety take over.
Davis Gaston, director of the University
Career Center, says preparing for future
job interviews you will face afer gradu-
ation is important and will help ease the
anxiety that comes before and during the
interview.
Gaston tells the students he works with
that they need to be as prepared as pos-
sible for the questions that they may be
asked to alleviate the unknown. Gaston
says to:
-Prepare and try to fgure out what the
interviewer is going to ask.
-Know as much information about the
employer as possible.
- Tink of a job interview as a discussion
and fnd a good conversation so the
interviewer can see your real personality.
Anxiety can hide the real you.
-If your hands sweat when you get ner-
vous, put tissues in your pockets before
you go in for the interview. You can stick
your hands in your pockets to dry them
of before your shake hands with some-
one.
People with social anxiety can get
overlooked in the job world because
they aren’t reaching out and don’t seek
as much promotion. Michael Haderlie,
a clinical psychology resident (which
means he holds a doctorate in psychol-
ogy and is working towards getting his
license), says people with social anxiety
tend to be underemployed despite their
skill levels. Someone with the same cre-
dentials who doesn’t have social anxiety
can make more money and have a better
career path.
“Tere are some people with social
anxiety that are successful. If people are
willing to put an efort into treating social
anxiety and treat social anxiety correctly,
then they can overcome it,” Haderlie says.
It’s normal to have anxiety when you
have to give a speech or presentation to
the class. Chelsea Graham, a graduate
teaching assistant who teaches two sec-
tions of COMS 130, provided these tips
about public speaking:
-Don’t practice speaking while sitting
down or lying in bed. Stand up like
you are delivering the speech.
-Practice in front of other people.
You can read their facial expression
and have them critique your speech
delivery.
- Visualize the classroom where
you will be giving your speech and
think of yourself making a successful
speech.
- Exercise the morning before your
speech or presentation to get out
the extra energy.
- Realize that you aren’t the only
one in the classroom who’s nervous
about speaking. Even instructors can
sometimes get nervous when they
have to present to the class.
- Know your material and what
points you want to make. The more
you know your outline and the infor-
mation you want to cover, the easier
it will be.
10
03
08
12
Walking into the Wonder Fair in down-
town Lawrence you may think you’re
in just another shop on Massachusetts
Street. But afer walking upstairs, you’ll
see a gallery of in the southwest corner of
the store, flled with neon-colored draw-
ings, paintings and sculptures.
Te exhibit “Chop Chop” by Lee
Piechocki and Matt Jacobs is full of neon
colors and peculiar scenes, reminiscent
of pop art. Te artists collaborated their
works for the display, using various un-
conventional elements to create the scene,
from acrylic paint and clothespins to Tic
Tacs and pencil erasers shaped like skulls.
Piechocki had a range of inspirations
for his work and made it a goal to fll one
sketchbook a week, he says in a state-
Get Some Culture:
// Rachel Schultz
ment from the Wonder Fair. Te series of
eclectic drawings “I’ve Been Crazy Tis
Week” came from a conversation over-
heard on the subway one day, in which a
woman was complaining about her hectic
schedule, for example.
Much of Jacob’s art came from
an eight-week artist’s residency in
Seyðiförður, Iceland, where the residency
gave Jacobs time, space and facilities to
make art. Since materials were limited,
Jacobs says he would do things out of cu-
riosity, like see what he could make with
just one piece of paper, for example. Many
times, his drawings would relate to his
sculptures and back again, but this time
in a less literal way.
“It still looks like my work, and you
can see a connection between the two, I
just had diferent materials to convey the
same ideas,” Jacobs says.
Although it may look spontaneous
(and some of it is), Meredith Moore,
co-owner of the Wonder Fair, says that
the artists were actually quite particular
in creating each display. “He thinks really
hard about where to put that candy cane
or that glob of paint.”
“Chop Chop” will be on display until
March 25 at the Wonder Fair, 803 1/2
Massachusetts St.
entertainment
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David Cronenberg’s “A Dangerous
Method” is a scintillating psycho-sexual
safari masquerading as another drab
period piece, trading powdered wigs and
petticoats for riding crops, tightly laced
corsets and feral erotica.
From sci-f classics like “Videodrome”
and “Te Fly” to his masterpiece “A His-
tory of Violence,” the Canadian auteur
has long been obsessed with the concept
of bodily deformation or decay as a
metaphor for the moral corrosion of the
soul. Now he’s fnally tackling one of the
driving infuences behind his “body hor-
ror” fxation: the story of Carl Jung and
Sigmund Freud’s tumultuous friendship
and the eventual schism that precipitated
the birth of modern psychology.
Te story centers on Jung (Michael
Fassbender) and his ill-advised decision
to take one of his mental patients as a
mistress. Te girl in question is the allur-
ing Sabrina Spielrein (Keira Knightley),
// Landon McdonaLd
Movie Review
A Dangerous Method
entertainment
the brilliant but unhinged masochist who
would go on to become one of the Soviet
Union’s leading psychoanalysts.
Haunted by his unethical desires, Jung
retreats to Vienna and quickly ingrati-
ates himself to Freud (Viggo Mortensen),
whose theories of the unconscious mind
are already being met with admiration
and infamy. Teir talks together are fasci-
nating, ranging from intellectual joust-
ing to the deepest of existential musings.
Ten Sabrina arrives in Vienna like a heat
wave, and all sense of propriety between
the two men quickly evaporates.
Knightley is a physical marvel, contort-
ing her body into a writhing, rickety
tangle of limbs that simultaneously
conveys helpless terror and insatiable
lust. Fassbender is more restrained here
than usual, turning in a performance that
essentially acts as a sounding board for
Knightley and Mortensen. Mortensen is
a mercurial, cigar chomping delight as
Freud, a man whose genius is dwarfed
only by his own regard for it. Special
mention must also be made of the bril-
liant French actor Vincent Cassel, whose
pansexual anarchist Otto Gross steals
every scene he slithers into.
Despite its many strengths, “A Dan-
gerous Method” has some difculty
fnding the balance between its three
main characters. We spend an inordinate
amount of time in the cold, loveless home
of Jung and his vengefully pregnant wife.
Mortensen, arguably the flm’s acting
highlight, only appears sporadically,
and too much of the third act is spent
watching characters write, send and read
various letters. But these are minor gripes.
Like Knightley’s incredible shrinking
corset, Cronenberg’s latest deserves to be
seen before it’s gone.
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campus & Town
girl- I would keep doing it, but I want to keep my butt muscles.
boy- That’s terrible, baby. Do you want me to punch her in the throat or kick her in the groin?
girl- Punch her in the throat.
girl- You know what you need right? Butt padding. Pad the butt.
professor- Men have breasts, they’re just not outies.
guy 1- It’s not like a horse won’t be packin’.
guy 2- My hernia acted up just as you said that.
guy 1- I don’t know, it was just like a giant soccer ball and a bunch of people with tasers.
guy 2- How does that work? What do you do?
guy 1- I guess everyone just runs around tasing each other.
professor- Go start the grammar revolution.
husband- This might sound dumb, but do you know what swag is? I keep seeing people posting
about it, it’s really popular.
wife- Oh, yeah — It’s when people give out free shirts and hats and cd’s and stuff. Swag. Kids
love free stuff.
Wescoe wit //john garfield
Milton Wendland, a professor of
women, gender and sexuality studies, is
developing a notion called “the queer un-
canny.” In Wendland’s work, queer means
non-normative. Uncanny is a concept cre-
ated by Sigmund Freud, who Wendland
says, was interested in uncanny as some-
thing that causes us to repeat ourselves,
both in language and behavior.
Wendland’s research focuses on the
movie “Te Wizard of Oz,” the book
“Mysterious Skin” by Scott Heim and the
city ordinance called Te City of Law-
rence Domestic Partnership Registry,
which allows any two people to register
as domestic partners. By looking at how
certain elements in each of these repeat or
are illogical, we see how certain concepts
the queer uncanny?//kelsea eckenroTh
What do you know about...
Researching the family concept
conTribuTed phoTo
aren’t as stable as we would like to think
they are. Wendland uses the example
that most people see the “Te Wizard of
Oz” as a happy movie about fnding your
way home, but Wendland says when you
actually trace Dorothy’s words and ac-
tions, you fnd that Dorothy learns there
is no “home,” and what really happens is
that Dorothy unconsciously creates the
trouble that takes her away from Kansas.
Wendland’s queer uncanny approach
suggests that the concept of family can
be many diferent things at once and is
unstable. “If you survey people and ask
them what a family is, most people say a
mom, a dad and kids. Tat’s a nice ideal,
but not the truth. Not everyone has the
same family structure,” Wendland says.
Leslie Asquini, a senior from Overland
Park, says her family isn’t what the major-
ity of people would consider “normal,”
but to her and her family, they are a per-
fect family. “To me, having a perfect fam-
ily means having lots of communication
and a healthy, supportive and structured
environment,” Asquini says. We should
let family be multiple things, rather than
giving it one defnition.

milton wendland
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08
12
play
Four months afer his 50th birthday,
Craig Weinaug’s doctor told him he could
no longer walk for exercise. Te news
came when Weinaug had problems with
his lef knee, his good knee. Te right side
of Weinaug’s body is partially paralyzed.
Yet, he would walk the fve and a half
miles to work at the Douglas County
Courthouse at least once a week. Wein-
aug’s doctor said bicycling was a low-im-
pact alternative to walking; it placed less
stress on the joints.
Tat was 10 years ago. At the age of 60,
Weinaug, the Douglas County Adminis-
trator, now rides his bicycle almost every
day to work. His bicycle has been slightly
altered for his body: both breaks are on
the lef handle, because Weinaug only
has 10 percent grip in his right hand,
and his right pedal is diferent than his
lef. He says people recognize him from
a distance, because his right foot hangs
of the pedal at an outward angle. He will
go days without touching his car and has
put 106,000 miles on his bicycle. Weinaug
says the morning routine changes his
outlook.
“Tere is a joke around the courthouse
that if you need something from the
County Administrator you better make
sure it is a day he road his bike to work,”
Weinaug says.
Te age at which a cyclist reaches his
or her peak
and begins to
decline in abil-
ity is later than
high-impact
sports, like
running. Te
University of
Cape Town’s
department of
human biol-
ogy conducted
a study of
South Africa’s
premier endurance cycling and running
events and found that the rate of decline
in running speed occurred on average at
32 years, while the decline in cycling oc-
curred on average at 55 years.
Whether it is doctor recommended or
a reignited childhood love, the interest in
cycling among older adults in on the rise.
A three-year research project by the U.S.
Department of Transportation released
last year found that cycling levels have
increased in the U.S. Most of the growth
in cycling has been among men between
25 and 64 years old.
Bill Anderson is in his 40s and races
for 360 Racing, a competitive cycling
team based in Overland Park. Anderson
says he has cycled since he was a child,
even attempting to make it his occupa-
tion in his 20s. While Anderson was at
his fastest in his 20s, he says it is common
for cyclists to be in their mid-30s before
they reach their potential. In addition to
competing, Anderson says he wakes up
at 5 a.m. every week day to ride his bike
to work. On his morning ride, Anderson
has the sleeping town all to himself, but
on the ride home he is forced to share his
concentration and the road with vehicle
Start Cycling now, or 30 years from now
There’s no late starts in cycling, a sport you can perform with age //sara sneath
trafc.
Carol Shankel is proof that women are
taking part in the action too. Shankel,
who is more than 50, rides 2,000 to 2,700
miles a year. She says she road as a kid,
but became an enthusiast about seven
years ago. Shankel always wanted to make
cycling her hobby, but didn’t have the
time in her younger years. She’s always
been active, exercising at the gym and
walking.
“I’d much rather bike. You get some
place. You’re outdoors, and you’re whiz-
zing by all this great scenery,” Shankel
says.
Shankel says she enjoys the health
benefts of cycling. It gives you really
great legs, she says. Shankel has also seen
improvements in her speed and ability.
“I go up hills a lot faster, and I always
go down them as fast as I can,” she says.
On rides with the Lawrence Bicycle
Club, Shankel has ridden with young kids
to men and women in their 70s. She says
if you put in the time on the bicycle you
will see improvements, no matter your
age.
Sarah Anderson started cycling train-
ing four months ago and has already
improved her speed and endurance. An-
derson, a senior from Blue Springs, Mo.,
says she mountain biked with her father
when she was younger. It wasn’t about
speed or ability, she says. It was about en-
joying nature and spending time with her
father. In high school, she stopped biking
to focus on her studies. In the fall, An-
derson went on her frst social ride with
KU Cycling, a sports club for students
who enjoy non-competitive or competi-
tive cycling. Te pace was slow enough
that she had time to enjoy the scenery
and the company of the other riders. Te
camaraderie and playfulness of the group
gave her the feeling of liberation she had
mountain biking as a kid. Last weekend,
Anderson attended her frst race.
Anderson fell in the frst corner of the
frst lap of the race. Ten, she got back up
and fnished. She says she was nervous,
but her teammates were very supportive.
Skinned-kneed and smiling, Anderson
says she will continue to cycle for as long
it stays fun.
"I'd much rather bike.
You get some place.
You're outdoors, and
you're whizzing by all
this great scenery."
-Carol Shankel
contributed photo
craig Weinag riding in the front of a bicycle pack.
14
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play
Do This: Design Your Own T-Shirt
// Rachel cheOn
Short sleeve T-shirts are staples of the
college wardrobe. In your closet, there’s
T-shirts for University of Kansas, T-shirts
for sports teams, T-shirts for events, T-
shirts for businesses, T-shirts for organi-
zations, T-shirts for… you get my point.
We see T-shirts everywhere; some are
very clever, creative, funny, and bring out
memories. My 2008 NCAA men’s basket-
ball championship T-shirt brings me back
the memory of being in Allen Fieldhouse
to watch games with my friends, storm-
ing the foor afer the win, then joining
the craziness on Massachusetts Street.
T-shirts can be even more personal, cre-
ative, and commemorative by designing
your own.
I walk into Acme T-Shirt Shop, 847
Massachusetts St. and am greeted by a
colorful display of unique t-shirts that say
things on them like “Graduating in four
years is like leaving the party at 11,” or a
white t-shirt with red lifeguard cross say-
ing “Wescoe Beach lifeguard,” or a black
t-shirt with giant white letters stating
“Designated driver.” Acme is a custom-
design shop where you can design your
own t-shirts and just purchase one,
although you can do bulk orders as well.
Caitlin Bubna, employee at Acme and KU
graduate, says usually people come in and
sit with the staf to talk about what idea
they had in mind, pick out a font, pick out
images, and have the staf print the shirt
within an hour. “We have free design help
so you can also just come in, go to the
computer, look up images, fonts, and look
up how they turn out,” Bubna says.
You can design your own t-shirts on
many kinds of styles and clothing brands.
Printing on a basic Gildan white short-
sleeve t-shirt costs $15.95, and printing
your design on American Apparel brand
sweatshirt can cost about $48. Nicholas
Stahl, employee at Acme and also a KU
graduate, says students come design
t-shirts for many occasions ranging from
sorority group t-shirts, birthdays, an-
niversaries, and inside jokes. “Everyone
has awesome stories about their shirts,”
Stahl says.
You can also a bring fle of the design
on a fash drive, have staf help you design
on their computer, or just buy one of the
pre-designed t-shirts there. No reser-
vation is necessary and Acme is open
Mondays to Wednesdays 10a.m. to 7p.m.,
Tursdays to Saturdays 10a.m. to 8p.m.,
and Sundays from noon to 5p.m. Other
places to custom-design T-shirts include
AJ’s Custom Signs & Graphics, 628 N.
2nd St., open Mondays to Saturdays 9a.m.
to 6p.m., and MidWest Graphics Inc.,
4811 Quail Crest Pl., open Mondays to
Fridays 8a.m. to 5p.m.
phOTO bY Rachel cheOn
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speak
I
looked across the room and spot-
ted Alberto* instantly. His troubled,
intense eyes were searching for me
also. I smiled and timidly walked to the
other side of the room to meet him. My
stomach was churning with nerves, but as
soon as I saw his eager smile, I was put at
ease. I was at KIPP middle school that day
because I had signed a 10-month contract
with City Year, a division of AmeriCorps,
just afer graduating from high school
in the blink-and-you-miss-it town of
Eudora. Now here I was, in San Antonio,
working as a full-time volunteer. Tat day
was my frst day as a mentor, and Alberto
had specifcally requested me for the job.
Te job, simply put, was to ofer guidance
and wisdom to a 13-year-old boy who
experiences “special circumstances” at
home.
I was immediately put in charge of
an afer-school program mandatory
for all students, which is where I frst
met Alberto. Despite having the same
Coming back home
How I lost myself in Texas and found myself back in Kansas //sasha lund
cofee-colored skin and deep brown eyes
as the other kids at KIPP, he contrasted
sharply with his mild demeanor and
voice which rarely rose above a whisper.
Only fve years older than he and equally
as reserved, I could relate easily to him.
He began to look for me in the hallways
between classes, and once I began
helping him with his math homework, his
grades rose far above the danger zone. In
return, he taught me some Spanish slang
words, like chonga, a type of Hispanic
woman who draws on her eyebrows, that
I never could have learned in a classroom.
Without him, I wouldn’t have been able
to order breakfast tacos at my favorite
Mexican restaurant, a hole-in-the-wall
place the size of my closet. We had grown
to know each other well, but when I met
him I knew mentoring him would be a
challenge. I had no clue how to inspire
someone; the task daunted me.
On our way to the deserted classroom
we used for our frst session, I asked him
what he wanted to do.
“Just talk,” he answered.
His request bewildered me. I had
come to our session prepared with books,
games and activities, but I had not come
prepared to talk.
“Where do you live?” I asked, lamely.
It was in his answer that Alberto’s life
unfolded for me. He lived on the West
Side, in a neighborhood I had frequently
passed by on the bus, but never dared
to go into because of its reputation. My
friend Nephiteri advised me against trav-
eling through this part of the city. When
I asked why, her answer was simple: You
just don’t. Alberto lived with his grand-
mother in a one-bedroom apartment
where they took turns sleeping on the
sofa. Alberto had little recollection of his
parents, but the memories he had weren’t
good ones. He suspected his father was in
prison, and his mother could be any-
where. Coming to KIPP each morning
was a gif, and I saw an anxious expres-
sion overwhelm his face as the school day
drew to a close. He never wanted to go
home.
We had that in common. While he
went home to a dangerous neighbor-
hood, many times without dinner, I went
home to a three-bedroom apartment that
I shared with fve other girls. I slept on a
twin-sized air mattress because the living
stipends I received for my volunteer work
weren’t enough to purchase furniture.
Much like Alberto, I looked forward to
spending my days at KIPP.
Alberto and I met three times a week, for
hour-long sessions. Sometimes we would
just work on homework. Other times we
would listen to his favorite rap songs, play
card games (Go Fish was his favorite)
or write in journals. Once, I gave him a
writing prompt that read: What do you
want to do when you grow up? He stared
blankly at the paper for fve minutes
before telling me that he didn’t know.
Alberto had never even allowed himself
to dream.
Afer two months of mentoring Al-
berto, I couldn’t ignore the gnawing feel-
ing that I wasn’t, and couldn’t, really make
a diference in his life. Many of his friends
were in the process of joining gangs, and
when he told me that he was solicited by
one, something inside me broke. I was
an 18-year-old from Eudora, Kan. My
experience with gangs was limited to bad
TV movies. All of a sudden, the training
City Year had given us seemed useless.
Tis was real life, and I had no idea how
to handle real life yet.
Later that week, in early November, I
drove 900 miles back to Kansas, leav-
ing no trace of me behind, other than an
apology to Alberto. I understood life in
Kansas, but the problems I faced back in
Eudora were ofen trivial, especially com-
pared to life in Texas. Because I had only
completed three months of my 11-month
contract, the only contact I was allowed
with my former mentee was a letter. I
asked my teammate, John, to continue to
mentor Alberto, which he did well. I en-
rolled at KU and started classes in Janu-
ary 2009. I can’t say I always feel I made
the right decision, because sometimes I’m
lef with the melancholy reminder that I
essentially abandoned Alberto. However,
I’m lef knowing that, while I may have
been the one mentoring Alberto, his
presence in my life has resonated with me
throughout the last three years.
*indicates name has been changed
contributed photo
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