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They have everything, but still they are unhappy. The only reason behind this is lack of Main Human Qualities. The commonly searched term nowadays is How to be happy. Now, this E-Book will guide you on the same. So happiness - isn't that the thing that all of us strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all of the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies on what makes people happy reveal that it doesn't have much to do with material goods or high achievement; it seems to whittle down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships with the people around you. A Few Steps Which Will Guide You To Live The Moment and Stay Happy Forever Be Optimistic- In the 1970s, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that
a year after they'd hit the jackpot, they were no happier than the people who didn't. They called it hedonic adaptation, which suggests that we each have a baseline level of happiness. No matter what happens, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is only temporary and we tend to rebound to our baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that can be attributed in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think. So while the remainder of this article will help boost your happiness, only improving your attitude towards life will increase your happiness permanently. Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science. Sometimes we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world somewhere along the line. Either way, the sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective. Understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you've experienced pain or disappointment in the past does not guarantee that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending. See yourself as a cause, not an effect. You don't have to be a product or a victim of your
circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and it's generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but you'll never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope. Use positive affirmations. Write down short statements that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer monitor, and even taped to your shower wall. Some affirmations to start with are: "Anything is possible." "My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances." "The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life." "I always have a choice." "I choose to live my positive side of life." Remember that life is short. When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts, and any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer. At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that haven't happened yet and aren't guaranteed to happen, and it prevents you from getting things done. Pessimism breeds indecision. It's a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can't afford to take for granted. Be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist. Use quotes to remind yourself how to be optimistic. Maybe if during a particularly tough day someone mentions some saying that gives you a rare boost of motivation, write it down. Here are a few inspirational sayings: • Even the longest journey begins with a single step. • Life has a way of reminding one that it can be worse. • Until one understands the low and darker side of life, the appreciation of the awe-inspiring highs will remain stagnant. • Every cloud has a silver lining. • Look happy. Studies have shown that putting a positive expression on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future. Practice by conveying these ideas to others. If you hear someone being pessimistic, counsel
them based on these steps. Sometimes it's easier to understand a perspective if you explain it to someone else first. No matter how odd this may sound, listen to optimistic music (that you like) and read books that have at least a little optimism in them. Pass a blessing on to a friend or stranger, let somebody have that parking space, let somebody in front of you in line at the market. Doing nice things for others is an instant pick me up. Only you can make the situation better, so smile and make the situation better! Count your blessings, each and every little one. Focusing on the good things in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, will help frame a better attitude and take your mind off of the negatives. Sometimes, bad thoughts cloud your mind but it's not your fault! Evaluate your friends, family, and the people around you, and avoid people that make you feel negative or unhappy. Everyone has their times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but never give up and gradually you will succeed. Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can make everything look worse than it is. While it is true that you create your own circumstances, accept that the past is the past. Don't let negative circumstances trigger irrational guilt or pessimism. Realize that it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens. Avoid cynical/pessimistic entertainment. You are what you watch.
Be Laid Back - Whether you're a worrywart, a perfectionist, an overachiever, or a work-aholic, you've probably envied people who seem to float through life gracefully, never concerned (like you are) about what might happen if they don't do this or don't do that. Perhaps they're not the most motivated or accomplished people you've met, but they always seem content. If you're on the opposite end of the spectrum--always doing, never satisfied--here's how to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride that is your life. Do one thing at a time. The world's greatest achievements were made by people who gave the task in front of them their undivided attention. Tackling multiple activities at once might feel efficient, but is it really productive? Is giving each task 30% of your attention for three hours as effective as giving each task 100% of your attention for one hour each? If something doesn't deserve your undivided attention, maybe it's not worth doing at all. Slow down. Why the rush? If what you're doing is important enough to warrant your time, you might as well enjoy it. Cleaning the house for an hour with your favorite music playing and your bottom shaking is better than cleaning the house in half that time but in a frantic state of mind. Plus, if you're having fun with your chores, maybe other people will be tempted to join. Don't just "get it over with"--find a way to make every activity something that you look forward to doing. Stop being a perfectionist. High standards have their place--when performing surgery, for example, or designing a building--but when applied to other areas of your life (your appearance, your home's appearance, your hobbies, your handwriting, whatever) you're practically inviting anxiety into your life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have any standards at all; it's when you start stressing out about the details that you need to ask yourself: "Will doing this right now make me truly happy? Will it make me a better person? Will it make the world a better place?" Usually, the answer is no.
Don't allow perfectionism to become the enemy of your potential. Step aside. When you close your eyes and imagine your role in the world, do you see yourself as Atlas, the mythological Titan, holding the weight of the world on your shoulders? Do you feel like you want to relax, but worry that if you do, everything will fall apart? If so, you need to delegate some responsibility. You might think other people won't do as good a job, but that's the thing: they'll never do it just like you do. So give them responsibility, give them advice, and pass the reins. Don't be surprised if they make mistakes; just be there to support them, and let them fix (and learn from) their mistakes. Not only will this take some weight off of your shoulders, but it can be very fulfilling to watch someone grow and mature as a result of your guidance. Remember that it's not the end of the world. Many people spend their entire lives trying to prevent bad things from happening. But guess what? They happen anyway. And life goes on. That's not to say you shouldn't take any kinds of precautions in life, but if the majority of your thoughts are consumed in contingency planning, you're not enjoying life. You're preventing it. When you're feeling threatened by things that haven't happened yet, remember these words by Ralph Waldo Emerson: Some of your hurts you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you endured From the evil which never arrived. Focus on what you have, not what you have to do. Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking "I have to straighten this up...I have to correct him...I have to stop her..." but truthfully, we don't have to do anything. You can walk away from any task, at any time. Try replacing every "have to" with a "want to" and see if the statement still holds. Meaning, is it something that you'll look back on when you're in your deathbed and be happy you did? Most likely not. So appreciate what you have, while you have it. When bad things happen (and they will, no matter what) shrug and smile. Remind yourself that: Life goes on. You win some, you lose some. This, too, shall pass. You can't please everybody. We live and learn. Don't sweat the small stuff. Remember that sometimes bad things lead to the best things. Before you say no, think "why not?" Shift your mind-set so that you concentrate on what makes you feel happy, not on what makes you feel safe. Learn meditation. Some systems may be quite involved, but most are relatively simple, and all of them will help you achieve all of the above. Don't confuse being laid-back with being lazy. People who are laid back get things done, but
they do so with a relaxed attitude rather than a frantic attitude. Lazy people just don't get things done. Showing a laid-back attitude in the workplace can have risks. Many employers may confuse "laid-back" with "lazy" and think one does not take the job seriously. It is important to show that this attitude can actually be very productive, often even more so than others which demand greater stress. Personality tests such as Myers-Briggs can help one determine their particular personality. Do not be surprised if some of the most successful people down through history share the same trait as you.
Live The Moment - Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes
practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. This is your life, now live! To understand how to live in the moment you must first realize that this is about participation rather than just observation. Living in the moment is a conscious act. Take notice of the world around you. No matter what you're doing, try to find something beautiful around you. Maybe on your way to work or school, you go over a beautiful bridge, or you get a view of the sunrise behind the city buildings. Realizing these small things can bring life and happiness even to the most boring or routine days. Be thankful for those little things. Focus on whatever you're doing. Even if you're just walking, or wiping the counter, or shuffling cards - how does it feel? There's probably some kind of commentary spinning through your mind, and it probably has to do with something other than what you're doing. Let those thoughts go and focus on what is (not what was, or what could be). In Buddhism, this is referred to as mindfulness. Pay attention to your senses - touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. Pretend it's the very last time you'll ever experience whatever you're experiencing. Have you ever been so engrossed in something that it seemed like the rest of the world just disappeared? Living in the moment is about creating that state of mind at any time. Slow down, and try to savor the present. Smile when you wake up. You can set the tone of appreciation and awareness for the next 24 hours by simply waking up and smiling. Don't wake up with a groan and a smash of your alarm clock. There's scientific proof that the expressions that you make with your face can actually influence how you feel. In particular, true happiness is most closely tied to a Duchenne smile which involves smiling with your eyes, as well as your mouth. Commit random, spontaneous acts of kindness. Whether it's donating 1 dollar to a fund at the pharmacy, picking up litter, or helping victims of natural disasters, keep alert in every moment of your day for some way in which you can make the world a better place. Even the smallest thing, like complimenting someone, can bring joy. It's the most spontaneous and unexpected acts of kindness that produce the greatest impact, and you can't be sensitive to those kinds of opportunities unless you're living in the moment.
Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. What are you doing that tempts your mind to run away from the present? For most people, watching television puts you in a passive state of mind, and time slips right by. Daydreaming and getting lost in a good movie or book isn't bad, but it's not living in the moment because it places your concentration on something that isn't right here, right now; it's a form of escapism. Don't zone out; zone in. Do things that are active, and that encourage you to look around and engage the world in that moment. Gardening, playing a game, knitting, and playing an instrument are all activities that lend themselves to mindfulness. So get off the computer after reading this article! Be thankful for what is. When you find yourself wishing for something you don't have, or wishing your life would be different, start your quest for your wish by being thankful for what is already in your life. This will bring you back to the present moment. Make a list of what you are thankful for right now even if all you can think of is that you are alive and can breathe. You don't want to miss the gifts right in front of you, because you are always looking beyond what is in the present moment to what once was or what might be. If you are thankful for what is, you'll be happy to be in the moment instead of some place else. Play with kids! Children don't worry about the future; they play and enjoy every moment for what it is. They haven't yet learned to think ahead, or mull over the past, so take the opportunity to learn from them. Forgive. Many of us carry grudges with us that haunt us, and those grudges also prevent us from opening our hearts to others because we're scared of getting hurt again. Watch your breath, by noticing your breathing pattern your mind naturally quiets and pays more attention to the present moment. Listen to music and enjoy it. Express yourself by dancing to it or singing along. Participate in active conversation and engage in the subject matter with another human. Think about how happy your good deed could make someone! Living in the moment doesn't mean you shouldn't care about the future, or do reckless, irresponsible things. It means that when you make a choice to do something, you focus on actually doing it, rather than letting your mind dwell on the future (or past). Follow Your Gut- In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick out a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision carefully, weighing the pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions. Now, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but by the time you're poring over your choice, the options you're weighing are probably very similar, and the difference will only temporarily affect your happiness. So next time you have a decision to make, and you're down to two or three options, just pick the one that feels right, and go with it. Never regret the decisions you make though. Just live by the 3 C's of life: choices chances, and changes. You need to make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.
Follow Your Intuition - Intuition is knowing something without being able to explain how
you came to that conclusion rationally. It's that mysterious "gut feeling" or "instinct" that often turns out to be right, in retrospect. Learning how to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak,
is difficult but intuition can be developed, especially when following some of these ideas. Trust your instincts. It can be difficult to depend on something that you don't understand, and you probably shouldn't base every one of your decisions on intuition. For example, if you're hiring someone, you should look at qualifications first and foremost, or else you might accidentally discriminate. But when you've weighed all the options and there is no obvious, rational choice, intuition's really all you've got. Consider the following: Intuition is basically how you quickly tap into your subconscious mind, which is where you "archive" all kinds of information that you don't remember on a conscious level. Sometimes you pick up on things subconsciously without realizing it, such as body language. It'll register as a certain "feeling" that you can't articulate at that moment, but it could very well be valid. Without intuition, you're no different than a computer. You only make decisions based on facts, and you don't always have all the facts. So unless you're functioning like a computer, you're already making decisions based on various factors other than logic...why not learn how to use your intuition as well? Even some of the world's greatest scientists, the most logical thinkers of all time, have made their greatest discoveries based on flashes of intuition (think of Newton and the apple that fell on his head, or Archimedes shouting "Eureka!" in his bathtub). Ask yourself questions and listen to the first answer that pops into your mind. That isn't easy, because several thoughts will flood your mind at once. For instance, let's say you're looking at a menu. In figuring out what you want, pick out the first thing that stands out to you. Ignore the remainder of your thoughts, like "But I didn't even look at the specials...but my friend is on a diet and I'll feel bad eating this in front of her...but my uncle said the mashed potatoes he had here were too mushy...blah, blah, blah." Don't dwell on it. Just pick something. It's scary...what if you make the wrong choice?...but you'll be fine. Clearing your mind of repetitive thoughts and worries will make it easier to listen to your intuition. Find a meditative technique you are comfortable using and practice. Listen to your gut. There's a reason it's called a "gut feeling". Many times, a decision that you "know" is wrong makes you feel discomfort in your stomach area. Listen to and communicate with your multiple brains. Neuro science research has shown we have functional and complex brains in both our heart and gut. These brains have memory and intelligence. As the points above indicate, your gut and heart brains know when something isn't right and will tell you through feelings, hunches and messages. You can communicate with these brains through simple language, imagery and touch. Keep an intuition journal. Every day, use your intuition to make a guess about someone or something. Don't act on it, though. Just write it down. Focus on statements like "I have a feeling that..." or "My intuition tells me that..." If there are any sensations associated with your intuition, such as a vision, or physical discomfort, be sure to record it. Looking back in your journal, see how often you are right. As you learn more about how to recognize your intuition, and you see it leading you in the right direction, your confidence will grow and so will your intuitive power. Exercise the right side of your brain. Intuition is drawn from the right hemisphere of the brain
which is the same side that controls nonverbal, holistic thought and expression. Here are some other ways to "work out" your intuition: Stop Hesitating - Be bold - decisive! What? You can't? Do you find yourself suffering angst and taking forever over the smallest of decisions? Discover how to step up! Understand why you are hesitant. Hesitance stems from uncertainty. Uncertainty is ... well, it's almost guaranteed, for every situation you will ever face. If you're always certain, you're probably wrong, because none of us knows everything. So hesitance is actually a sort of safety or defense mechanism - in the face of uncertainty, almost everyone hesitates a little. Address your fears. A huge factor in hesitation is fear of doing the wrong thing, or making a mistake. There are two main ways to deal with this. One is to imagine that worst case scenario that's really holding you back (like embarrassing one's self--that's a big one for most of us) and saying to yourself, "So what?" People embarrass themselves all the time; in fact, if you watch popular and charming people, you'll see that they mess up too, but more importantly, they respond gracefully to their own mistakes. They joke around about it (watch - they will say things like, "Noooooo!" as they make an exaggerated attempt to stop the catastrophe), they even make fun of themselves (Doh! I'm pathetic!"), and they immediately accept that they're human, and mistakes happen ("Man - I hate when that happens"). They make some silly remark, give a big cheesy smile - and they move on. You can, too. If you make a mistake, it's NOT the end of the world. Secondly, think of the consequences of inaction. Remember that hesitating means NOT acting, and NOT acting has its own consequences. Don't want to talk to that guy because you're worried you'll put your foot in your mouth and ruin your chances with him? Well, you might, and that's okay - life will go on. Or, you might win him over; you never know! BUT, if you don't act, you guarantee that nothing will ever happen. How can sparks fly when you won't even come face-toface with him? Do you really want to just wait for him to do everything? What if he's more paranoid about action than you are? When it's over, would you be happy with how you handled the situation, in retrospect? Train yourself to think, then act. Overcoming hesitance does not mean you should just start jumping blindly into situations - that could get you into trouble, or worse, be dangerous. But taking a moment to mentally consider the ramifications of Decision A or Decision B - and in rare cases, Decision C - could spare you problems later. Train yourself to think through first one possibility and then one other - and stop there unless a third possibility is glaringly obvious. Don't allow yourself to go off on tangent after tangent, chasing down every possible eventuality. Give yourself a choice between two actions (or that rare third one), and then decide. Give yourself a time limit. To help you avoid "Analysis Paralysis," you should give yourself a defined time limit when considering serious actions such as purchasing a home, accepting a job, or quitting one. Instead of grinding over endless possibilities, and then discovering you've now been chewing this over for a week and it's too late to care any more, give yourself a couple of hours to consider accepting a job. Sleep on it before you act on a decision to quit or make an offer on a house. But once you have reached your time limit, take action.
Make the decision. If you find that you are hesitant over simple, every day decisions, like asking that pretty girl out, or whether to go to a company party, or even what to have for lunch, try giving yourself just 30 seconds to decide. In this exercise, you must say "yes" at least 50% of the time (in other words, no fair retreating to the safe "non-action" all the time). This will help you to save your "no" for events or decisions where it matters a lot more - or a lot less - what your answer would be. Next time you're deciding what to do and find yourself cursing your hesitance, look at a clock or watch, and start counting down from 30. By the time you reach 1, you must make a positive decision. Example: Co-worker: "We're having drinks at Jo Jo’s tonight - want to join us?" You: "Uhhhmmmm... I'm not sure... ummm who all is going..." Co-worker: "Everyone from Accounting and that pretty new girl... I know you want to meet her..." You: (really nervous and hesitant now) "Wow. I'm not sure..." Co-worker: (resigned to you just not showing up, as usual) "Well, okay. Let us know. You're more than welcome to come, though..." (starts moving away) The New You: "You know what - Yes, I'd love to come. I was just thinking about whether I already had something, but it's not important. Thank you for asking me - I'll see you tonight." Co-worker: (Pleasantly surprised) "Great! We'll see you then! ... ugh - Her name is Colleen, just so you know." The New You: "OK. See you then. Hmm. Colleen..." (smiling quietly to yourself) Force yourself to do new things. Having new, different experiences helps you learn to cope with new situations, and it builds your self-confidence, which helps you become a more decisive person. Often, hesitance and indecisive behaviors are caused by having lived a sheltered existence, or not having much experience to draw on. Allowing yourself to go to parties or gatherings, or even just going to meetings, conventions, or the movies with different people, broadens your horizons a little bit every time you do it. You hear the stories others tell, and you soon have some stories of your own to tell. As you become more experienced, you will be more certain of what will happen in different circumstances. Being more certain = being less hesitant. Even if you are unsure of yourself, try to behave as if you are sure. If you find yourself in a situation where you are truly afraid, tell someone there how scared you are. You'd be surprised at how much help you can receive if you will just open yourself up to it by asking for it. Try flipping a coin. Sometimes giving yourself a point to focus on brings out what you subconsciously wanted to do anyway. If you assign the decisions to the coin flip, you'll often end up making the decision you wanted to despite what the coin says. Often fear or hesitation is caused by some past reaction to a bad situation. The fear is that something bad once happened, so it will happen again. Work on staying in the present moment, right here, right now. Doing so can help lessen fear-based decisions (or non-decisions). Use the three-second rule: when you realize there is a decision to make, you must act before three seconds are up. The purpose of this training is for you practice embracing the chaos we face in everyday life. Works best on decisions where the outcome is relatively unimportant
Inhibitions are there for a reason. While hesitating can be rather annoying, ending up dead can be too. Use common sense.
Make enough money to meet your basic needs - In the US, that magic number is
$40,000 a year. Any money you make beyond that will not necessarily make you happier. Remember the lottery winners mentioned earlier? Oodles of money didn't make them any happier. Once you make enough money to support your basic needs, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism. Your comfort may increase with your salary, but comfort isn't what makes people happy. It makes people bored. That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel your growth as a person.
Stay close to friends and family - Or move to where other members are- so you can see
them more. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think increases in salary will make us happier, but the fact is that our relationships with our friends and family have a far greater impact on our happiness than our jobs do. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from your friends and family. But if your relationships with your family and friends are unhealthy or nonexistent, and you are bent on moving, choose a location where you'll be making about the same amount of money as everyone else; according to research, people feel more financially secure (and happier) when they're on similar financial footing as the people around them, regardless of what that footing is. Have deep, meaningful conversations. A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk and more time having deep, meaningful conversations can lead to an increased feeling of happiness. Find happiness in the job you have now: Many people expect the right job or the right career to dramatically change their level of happiness, but happiness research makes it clear that your level of optimism and the quality of your relationships eclipse the satisfaction you gain from your job. If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships with people, you won't depend on your job to give your life a greater sense of meaning. You'll find it in your interactions with the people you care about. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't aspire towards a job that will make you happier; it means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small in comparison to your outlook on life and your relationships with people. Smile: Science suggests that when you smile, whether you feel happy or not, your mood will be elevated. So smile all the time! In addition, having enough money to pay the bills allows you to focus your energies on more productive aspects of your life, such a the pursuit of happiness as opposed to keeping the 'wolves from the door'. Forgive: In a study of college students, it was found that an attitude of forgiveness contributed to
better cardiovascular health. You could say that forgiveness literally heals your heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress. Make friends who share your interests or faith: In a 2010 study by Harvard researchers published in the journal American Sociological Review, it was discovered that people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. People who went to church and didn't have any close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When the researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, the ones who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives. It's thought that the forming of friendships based on mutual interests and beliefs (and meeting consistently based on that mutual bond) is what makes the difference, so if church itself is not your thing, consider finding something else you're deeply passionate about and making friends who you can connect with regularly based on that. Just because something seems to make other people happy doesn't mean that it really does. People are very good at pretending they're happy, especially when they've invested so much into the things that are supposed to make them happy; it's hard to admit that you've been placing all your eggs in the wrong basket. When you're purposely trying to be happy or cheerful, but just can't seem to achieve it at the moment, do something crazy. It's stupid, crazy, weird stuff like that that seems pointless, but could actually lift your mood after you do it, just because you're glad you did it. Most fundamentally, recognize that happiness is a state of mind and not something which can be defined objectively. You can change your state of mind in many ways including these suggestions: Turn your favorite music up loud and do a stupid dance to it. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Try a new food. Rearrange your room in a weird way. Write a funny or inspiring quote on your mirror/wall/locker. Scream as loud as you can (warn your family first!) and bounce up and down; jump all around. Get your swimsuit on, go outside and turn the hose on yourself, if it's a hot day. If you have a child, either now or in the future, tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her. Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support. Don't be afraid to admit when you're down and need a lift. Conversely, if there's a person in your life who is a negative influence and who is dragging you down in some way, don't be afraid to remove such a person from your life. If you are constantly unhappy or depressed, seek professional help. Happy people are not happy all the time. Everyone has times when they feel sad, frustrated, guilty, angry and so on. Happy people are just better at bouncing back to a state of contentedness. We may all feel negative at some moment in our lives, but try to bounce back and live in the moment, and be content with everything you do.
Be Thankful - People with a strong sense of gratitude, love and appreciation don't necessarily
have more than others; they aren't "luckier". They simply recognize and see more beauty in their lives. A 2003 study suggests that people who count their blessings are generally happier and healthier than people who don't. If you ever feel as if anything in your life isn't "enough", try practicing an attitude of thankfulness. You might realize how good you have it after all. Relax. It's hard to cultivate a sense of gratitude when you're angry, frustrated, or anxious. If these are issues that you struggle with, it's important to resolve them, as they're formidable barriers to thankfulness. Start with your senses. The most basic pleasures in life are usually accessible to us all the time, but they slip out of our consciousness because we get so used to them. Learn to notice the little things, and deliberately appreciate them. Look around. Notice beautiful shapes, colors, and details. Notice things you normally take for granted, like sunlight reflecting off someone's hair. Think of all the little things you'd miss if you were blind. It's often the most minute joys that are missed the most. Smell the roses. And the food. And the air. Recognize the smells that make you feel good: a freshly cut lawn, the air right after it rains, a fresh pot of coffee. Savor your food. Eat slowly. Don't just gobble and chug. Identify flavors. Appreciate how they intermingle. Take notes from wine enthusiasts; they know how to enjoy the subtlest of flavors. Appreciate the sense of touch. How do leaves, blankets, lotions feel against your skin? How many times during the day do people touch you affectionately, and you barely notice? Listen to more than music. Listen when you think it's quiet, and you'll discover it's not really all that quiet. You might hear the wind, leaves rustling, kids laughing. Cherish any kind of lightheartedness in your life. Things like laughter, affection, and playfulness are fleeting. Once a relationship has degraded so that those things don't spontaneously occur anymore, it's very hard to get them back. You might know that from experience. So treat those moments with care (especially with kids, who are at the peak of lightheartedness). Don't be the person who takes life too seriously, who doesn't have time to have fun, or who has no sense of humor. Take a vacation. There's some truth to the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Ideally, you shouldn't have to separate yourself from something (or someone) in order to appreciate it (that can lead to a vicious cycle). But it can be a good way to trigger your sense of gratitude just once in a while. Keep a gratitude journal. Challenge yourself to write down five new things every day that you're grateful for. It'll be easy in the beginning, but soon you'll discover that you have to increase your awareness to keep on.
Be bold - If you're shy, hesitant, or passive, you run the risk of leading a boring life marked by
routine and unfulfilled goals. Most progress has been led by people who were bold--scientists, public servants, artists, entrepreneurs, and others who didn't wait for opportunities; they created opportunities. So if you want to be bold and unstoppable, here are some ways to kick start your momentum. Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody who is as bold as bold can be, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act. If you don't know anyone like that, think of a character from a movie or book who's daring and brave. Spend one hour a day or one day a week pretending to be them. When you do this, go somewhere that people don't know you and won't act surprised when you do things that are out of character. Go through the motions and see what happens--you might discover that amazing things happen when you're bold, and you might be convinced to carry this bold behavior into your everyday life. Make the first move. Whenever you're feeling hesitant--especially in your interactions with others--swallow your pride and make the first move. Ask your acquaintance if they'd like to go to the bar down the street for drinks after work. Tell the person you fancy that you've got two tickets to a concert and you'd like them to come with you. Give your significant other a big hug and apologize for that time you over-reacted a few months ago. Smile and wink at the attractive cashier. Do something unpredictable. What could you do that would completely surprise the people who know you? Wear high heels? Skydive? Take a dance class? Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing. You can start small, perhaps by wearing a color or style of clothing that you don't normally wear, or visiting a place you normally wouldn't visit. Eventually, you may get to the point where you entertain ideas that make other people's eyes widen when you mention them ("Are you serious? White water raf ting?" or "You're kidding me. You want to buy that restaurant on 3rd Street?"). Ask for what you want. Rather than wait to be recognized for your efforts, or expect someone to consider your needs, step right up to the plate and ask. Some people feel that asking for things is greedy, selfish, and rude--and it is, if you're asking for something you don't deserve. But if someone is withholding something that you've rightfully earned, they're the ones being greedy, selfish, and rude. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? They say no. Life goes on. Ask for that promotion or pay raise you've been waiting (and working) for. Ask for a discount. A little haggling can go a long way. The phrase "What can you do for me?" is an easy and powerful way to save money. Ask to have your credit card's annual fee waived. Ask a relative, friend, or even a complete stranger for help or advice. Ask for clarification if you're not sure what is expected of you.
Take risks. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks...they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, is well aware of the risks, and has decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out. Think of an athlete who takes risks every day. Are they reckless? No. It's a measured risk. You might make a mistake; we all do. But inaction can be a mistake as well, one that leads to emptiness and regret. For many people, having taken risks and fallen flat on their faces was far more fulfilling than having done nothing at all. Rediscover who you are. Ultimately, boldness has to do with coming from your center, what you believe. It is not about what you do, it is about who you are. If you do not know who you are, you can never be truly bold. Start really appreciating your uniqueness. Discover what makes you different and then parade it around for all to see. Put flags on it, call attention to it and love yourself for it no matter what others think. That is the heart of boldness. Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you; it's about overcoming your fears and taking action. Don't worry about rejection. Try to make your invitations to others occur as "without consequence," i.e., the opposite of an invitation from your mother to dinner. Conversely, when your invitation is declined, boldly accept it and leave the other person/people feeling okay with their choice. While there's power in taking on something new, there's also a greater chance of failure because of your lack of experience. Embrace the failure; it's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. The opposite of success is sitting still. Remember: there is a difference between being bold and being suicidal. If you know doing something will hurt you, it doesn't matter how bold you are; don't do it. Here Are Some More Points On Being Happy : First of all, be realistic. Nobody is happy all of the time and it is perfectly normal to have variations in moods and feelings from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. According to a study based on data from the British Household Panel Survey, overall levels of happiness decline from one's teens until one's 40s and then pick up until they peak in one's early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Doesn't that make you happier? At any time and at any age, though, it is possible to feel happier than you have been and here are some ideas for you to consider. Most fundamentally, recognize that happiness is a state of mind and not something which can be defined objectively. You can change your state of mind in many ways including these suggestions. Perhaps above all, be as healthy as you can. Nothing is more valuable than your health and little is more likely to make you unhappy than ill-health. More importantly than anything else, if you can live with a partner whom you love and respect and
who feels the same about you. Kiss and cuddle and compliment often and regularly buy unexpected little gifts. Share your triumphs and your troubles. Evidence shows that a good relationship will not only make you happier; it will enable you to live longer. When you're old enough and in a steady relationship, have a son or a daughter. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her. If you don't have a child, 'borrow' one - spend time with a nephew or niece or a friend's son or daughter or - when you're older - your grandson or granddaughter. Children really do bring joy. Have a cat or a dog. Stroke often. Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support. Don't be afraid to admit when you're down and need a lift. Don't expect them to be mind readers - say how you feel and what you need. Conversely, if there's a person in your life who is a negative influence and who is dragging you down in some way, don't be afraid to remove such a person from your life. Smile a lot. Smiles make you miles better - and you smiling will make others smile. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810) put it: “Always wear a smile. The gift of life will then be yours to give.” Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty really is the best policy. Be politely assertive. Say how you feel and explain what you want. Friends and colleagues can't be mind readers. Get things off your chest. If there's something you've been wanting to say to a partner, a relative, a friend or a colleague, say it either orally or in writing - don't let it wait or fester. Give lots of compliments. You will make others feel good about themselves and find that this gives you pleasure too. Give small gifts to your friends. To give is even more pleasurable than to receive. Or, as the social anthropologist Marshall Sahlins, puts it: "Gifts make friends and friends make gifts." When your birthday or Christmas is coming, prepare a list of the presents you'd like and give it to a partner, relative or friend to 'manage'. That way people won't struggle to choose a gift for you and you'll receive what you want and like. Spend less than you earn. The figures may have changed and the decimal system may have arrived, but the lesson is still the same as when, Charles Dickens in "David Copperfield" had Mr Micawber opine: "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen, nineteen, six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds, naught, and six, result misery".
Use your credit card as a convenient way to pay for your major expenditures on a monthly basis not to obtain credit at an outrageous level of interest. As Shakespeare put it in "Hamlet", "Neither a borrower nor a lender be". Don't borrow money unless you absolutely have to (for instance, to buy a house or car). Don't lend money - even to relatives - unless you genuinely don't mind if it's not repaid. Don't gamble. There's enough uncertainty in your life without you adding more - and anyway, in the long run, you can't win. (A little flutter on the lottery is allowed.) Give regularly to the charities of your choice. Make at least one of those charities an organization addressing world poverty. Regularly increase your contributions as your income rises. If you are a woman, get your hair done. This will always make you feel better about yourself. I'm afraid I don't know of a male equivalent to this pick-me-up. Surround yourself with pleasant smells. Have flowers, pot-pourri or scented candles in most rooms of the house and in your office. Every so often, spend a little time observing the night sky. As you contemplate the distances and time involved, it will put your life and your concerns into more perspective. Read a quality newspaper on a daily basis. Learning is fun and the easiest way to learn is to check out news and features each day so that, over time, your knowledge and interests grow and deepen. Take a weekly or monthly magazine reflecting a personal interest. You'll come to really look forward to each new issue, like a visit from a friend. Read regularly and widely. Good fiction will widen your vocabulary and put you in touch with your emotions, while a range of non-fiction will extend your knowledge and interests. Listen to some rousing music. For classical music, try Saint-Saens Symphony No 3 (organ) or Beethoven's Symphony No 9 ('Ode To Joy'). For popular music, try "Atomic" by Blonde or "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Have a favorite television program, so that you can really look forward to seeing it. Mine used to be "Friends" and then "The West Wing". Treat yourself often to something 'cheap and cheerful' that you like - chocolates, flowers, a magazine, a cake, a CD. It costs little and you're worth it. Cultivate a few favorite places to eat and drink outside the home. Then, when you go to familiar cafe or restaurant where you like the ambience and the menu and the staff know you, you'll feel comfortable and content.
Stretch yourself physically. At the minimum, regularly go for a brisk walk - it will raise your spirits. If you can, join a gym and take more vigorous exercise - it will make you feel good and lengthen your life. Aerobics, Pilots, and yoga are other possibilities. Stretch yourself mentally. Go on courses on different subjects - they don't have to be academic courses (they can be at your local college) and they don't have to be long (they can be as short as a day or even half day). Read books on subjects with which you are unfamiliar but in which you have an interest. Stretch yourself geographically. Go to places you've never seen before. Even in your home town, try taking a different route than usual and notice the different locations that you've never seen before. Do something you've never done before, like visiting a particular art gallery or museum or going to a ballet or opera (or even just taking a different route to a familiar location). You'll probably surprise yourself at how much love it and you'll have found a new interest. Do something creative. This might be writing stories or poems; it might be painting pictures or learning to play an instrument; it might be gardening or growing food. Join a group with a purpose that meets regularly. This might be a drama group or choir; it might be a political party or campaign group; it might be a further education course. Keep a gratitude journal. This is a notebook in which every week or so you list those things for which you're currently grateful. Keep a diary. It will give structure to your life, an easy way to revisit good times, and a reminder that bad times don't last. Take lots of photos. You'll love looking at happy times and old friends. Have a political vision on how to create a better world - and do something to make that vision more of a reality. If you can believe, have a religious faith. (I can't. I believe that this life is all there is - so, all the more reason to make it happy). Arrange strong IT support. In this age of technological dependence, little is more upsetting than PC or Internet problems, so at work have a great relationship with the IT Department and at home have a techie friend or a local IT professional whom you can call upon when in trouble. One way of dealing with a difficult problem is to imagine how you will feel about that problem next week, next month, next year. Now try to bring those feelings into the present. It will give you a sense of perspective. Problems rarely look so formidable in retrospect. If you are uncomfortable or frightened about a situation, try to take yourself to a mental safe place
which you have previously created in your mind and where you feel relaxed and comfortable. It might be an imaginary garden or beach or just an image of your study or bedroom. If you're stuck for advice on a problem, ask a taxi driver. Cab drivers think they know everything and they don't charge you extra for giving you solutions to all the world's problems for the duration of the journey. Whatever your age, it's never too young to start planning your retirement. Regularly increase your mortgage repayments and pension contributions - this is a sensible use of the money you don't need for current expenditure and it will increase your longer-term lifestyle options. Make a will, detailing the arrangement for your funeral and the dispersion of your assets. The only thing certain about your life is that it will end, so have peace of mind that the circumstances that follow your death will as far as possible be as you wish them to be. Make arrangements to donate your organs on your death. That way, even your leaving of this world will give something special to others. Experts Advice to Follow the Following 10 Steps To Stay Happy ForeverHappiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account. We’re not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called “happiness” and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach. 1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation. 2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent. 3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages. 4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the
brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery. 5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing. 6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things. 7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment. 8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multi-task are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness. 9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days. 10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal. While people have many and varied goals that they pursue, there is an almost universal underlying goal to virtually all pursuits: the goal to be happy. People who spend a lot of time making money generally do so because they believe that the money itself will make them happy, or will guard them against things that will make them unhappy. If the focus isn’t on the money, but on the jobs that bring the money, those jobs are generally thought to make people happy. People strive for that perfect relationship, the perfect house, the beautiful body, the approval of others, all in an attempt to be happy. Sometimes these things make us happy; other times, we stress over not having reached our goals, or we reach them and find that we’re still not happy. Other times, we focus so intensely on one goal that’s thought to bring happiness that we don’t have time for other things in our life that will make us truly happy. This can all be confusing, and begs the question: how does one reach the goal of being happy? Answer is - By the methods I told.
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