Play #20 Jokes and Insults

by Joseph Frost

a play written for The 31 Plays in 31 Days Project

Draft August 01, 2012

© Attic Scripts 4550 Normandy Dr Jackson, MS 39206

Two friends. The joke didn’t work. It did. ROB CARL

ROB You blew the punch line. I didn’t. CARL I said it right.

ROB You quoted the wrong cartoon. CARL I said Yabba Dabba Doo, not Scooby Dooby Doo. I know. ROB That’s the wrong cartoon.

CARL I meant the other way around. ROB I know you meant it, I’ve heard the joke before. said it wrong. You know what I meant. I do. CARL ROB But you

CARL I was just trying to lighten the mood. ROB No one asked you to do that. I was doing it anyway. She said what she said. CARL It needed lightening. ROB

CARL That doesn’t mean anything. Neither did your joke. ROB

2. CARL I didn’t mean anything by it.

Neither did she.

ROB So it’s my fault, for being insulted. No. CARL Rob crosses away. Martina is there. Give him some time. He’s had four days. A little more. CARL (CONT’D) MARTINA CARL

MARTINA I’ve had enough of this. Martina. Don’t. CARL

MARTINA He’s not being reasonable. I agree. CARL But I’m not sure he needs to be reasonable. MARTINA

I don’t understand you.

CARL I’m just saying that he needs time. Time he can have. Don’t say that. I mean it, Carl. Really. Not a word. MARTINA All the time in the world. CARL MARTINA I don’t want to hear from him again. CARL MARTINA

3. CARL You wanted him back a minute ago. I did. MARTINA

CARL Pick one and stick with it. I am. I have. MARTINA

CARL Until you change your mind. Carl crosses past her. Jenny is across from Martina. He doesn’t deserve you. Rob’s being an idiot. I mean Carl. I don’t love Carl. I know that. JENNY MARTINA JENNY MARTINA

JENNY I don’t think you know that. MARTINA

Rob will be back.

JENNY You’ve said that six times now. He will. Seven. He will. MARTINA JENNY MARTINA

JENNY You’re not convincing me. I hope you’re convincing yourself. MARTINA I want nothing to do with Carl.

4. JENNY Rob enters and sits in a chair in front of Martina. MARTINA I’m waiting for Rob to come home to me. Sure. JENNY Martina exits. I’m not going back. ROB


JENNY You’re trying to convince me of something. ROB I came here for a reason. No one asked you here. Someone did. They made a mistake. JENNY ROB JENNY

ROB They weren’t the only one. Stupid kids. JENNY

ROB You can’t out-think their stupidity. You can try. You can. I’m not in the mood. JENNY Make amends. ROB JENNY

ROB It’s not about your mood.

5. JENNY Jenny crosses, leaving Rob. Rob is out of scene. Jenny walks to Carl. I needed that. I’m apologizing. You’re good at it. I’ve had practice. Practice. CARL JENNY CARL JENNY CARL She kisses him.

Oh it is.

It is.

JENNY I have put my feet in it. You mean nose. I mean feet. You said something. I had to. CARL JENNY CARL JENNY

CARL You most certainly did not. She deserved to know. She did. Then it’s not my fault. JENNY CARL JENNY

CARL She deserved to know from someone other than you.

6. JENNY I’m the perfect person to tell her. You are not perfect. For this job, I am. CARL JENNY

CARL You shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry. Good. No. JENNY CARL

JENNY I’m sorry that I kissed you. Jenny crosses away, leaving Carl. Martina walks up to Rob.

You came back. That I did. I don’t understand. Well, I was gone. Simple. I shouldn’t have gone. I know. I won’t do it again. I’m glad.


ROB Then I wasn’t. MARTINA ROB MARTINA ROB MARTINA Rob and Martina are together.

7. Carl and Jenny are not. Lights down.

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