Words Are Not Enough

30 Pages of Poetry
By, XO

[2]

everything makes sense in the confines of silence
I don't remember when I lost control I don't remember how or where, or when it isn't warm or hot, but cold regardless of what the temperatures been heavenly happenings have halted here having had such an astoundingly sapping strength

[3]

the sun rose twice
ask me when it falls I’m not quite sure what's happening at all (downstairs I heard a rumble like pink clouds were exploding) ask me when it falls no lack of inspiration from which I could draw (and in the shadow of brick we made love with our clothes on)

[4]

numb
push down twist off drop out drift off

[5]

oh no I still remember trust me
look at my facial structure and the colors and textures of my skin I want you to glance at my muscles and feel what I can do with them can you feel the vibrations from my voice up against your inner ear? is it perfect is it good is it worth it feeling good? I’ve been staring this whole time at your curves and at your breath in the air I want to feel your skin on mine moist and wet teach you where show you me gasp at have you ever it's not so graze nails on skin

[6]

is it perfect is it good is it worth it feeling good?

[7]

more questions than answers
you don't understand we are living between god's blinking eyes and you remember that one time when you laughed so hard? but god remembers everything and not so much at once. your tears absorb into your skin like the rain to the earth and you both are an hourglass set down just once so it better be good, you'd better not sleep. there are bombs going off all around your face like water bouncing off the shore and your lying in the water breathing in the sand staring at the sky reflecting from the moon.

[8]

can’t turn back and/or here I am
the devil wears everything, so don't believe what is in your veins. pheromones make the world go 'round so i suggest you write yourself down and keep that shit in your back pocket. everyone has two lips, it is not hard for those things to connect to each other so don't let your heart beat too fast lover boy (she's doesn't love you she's just in love with your skeleton). the world doesn't exist but you still can't bend it your way because your body slows you down just that fucking much. and I love how you fucking smell. you are not what you eat you are what you fuck. your clothes and your car and your words are merely a painting that reveals a lot more about you than you painted it to. your brain does not come with a delete button but your body does, so if you'd like to forget how cold this room is leave it. don't let me get you too confused, all that I’m really trying to say is that your father and mother carved you out of skin and you are an invisible smoke hid deep inside, all that matters is how much of you is there (at least, in my opinion). but I love how you fucking smell.

[9]

a1
there is a place where I go when I’m all out of self control where the curtains are closed where it's proven and shown that my heart is not a home it is a place where you die alone.

[10]

heart like a cherry pit
cherry pit heart clock made o u t o f s a p second hand turned minute hand turned hour hand turned back standing at a doorway where everything gets trapped the universe all sucks it in until the light itself turns black cherry pit sinks l o w mind runs thin what would you no what could do if I had just walked in stretched way too far out to matter I’m all just tall thin all this irritates my mental hate until my cherry pit falls ill

[11]

50,000 metaphorical miles
growing accustom leaning on water shedding pounds to make the trip. lost and found lead through mud until it stuck to our feet. carbon copy of a stick man cuts like a knife at a taco bell. i have heard the morning bird and want to fly so bad. sever my neck muscles and run real fast hoping you wont love me, anymore.

[12]

the adventures of everything and his arch-nemesis nothing
everything jumped into the water after years holding his feet just low enough to graze the surface but just high enough yeah just high enough everything dove real real deep knowing that it was black and he couldn't see or know where he was headed or had been everything picked no pace he would go fast and then slow and then fast because it was black and who knows what could be next everything was not afraid because if he was hurt he would heal and if he did die then it was most certainly his turn to be nothing.

[13]

take one daily for pain
swallowing that chalk white devil don't care just stay down feeling woozy right now I like it ‘cuz I’m in the mood to drive off over feeling could just drive over the median don't tell them just let the wheel no I can't but chalk white yeah just stay down the lines blur on the pavement just stay down I could move my hand and we'd all die and it'd feel so much better then yeah it'd feel so much better then I could not be of the sun like you wanted so chalk white devil

[14] yeah just stay down. stay real real down.

[15]

find it
apparently there was snow on the doors and the streets and inside of your apartment on the floors and the sheets and swimming inside of you from your nose to your feet I was freezing in midnight air a long walk home that december and now I see it all in colored chalk more than remembered haunted forever by the snow I stalk the cold snowy weather

[16]

I am convinced what you are worth
gasp I savor I hope you did as if you did not I would enjoy it but you wasted my beautiful of course however your vocal chords produce varied sounds from all of the rest bedded otherwise the feeling of your skin for which I would kill.

[17]

some day in august
there went the floor here come the walls quiet now, the children are asleep no need for anyone to explain themselves and who turned the heat up so high in this goddamned room? and why does my voice sound like the hammer on a gun? I was given the choice where the grass would be greener and I set that decision aside so one day I could make it up, whenever I was happy is where the grass would be green at if I felt like your fingers meant what my mother's did maybe I’d be cow in the pasture.

[18]

I will sit cold
your winter sun will set before the night grips you in mid sentence slept through the summer suns rise twice too many times fixed on the vanishing point waiting for highways stretched.

[19]

spring or summer whichever gets here first
a subtle summer breeze I can stomach the sulfur of the flaming fireworks in our eyes took a single seed hoped for it's heights to breath the bark forever

[20]

meant to be whispered or screamed but nothing in between
the world spins on a tilt but none of it was ever felt she lit up a t.v. screen all in an elaborate dream I sat with a full plate wishing there was more I had ate kill me with

[21] kindness ‘cuz I am blind to my blindness

[22]

pay close attention to the blood in the last line
I don't think that the trees see your face I don't think the gravel really cares when your eyes kick in and you paint your face in your favorite colors when he leaves some letters on a page you check with only intent I don't think that the trees see your face I don't think the gravel really cares the smallest glory was inside of your giggle when my eyes would cross and inside your skin as it touched mine only to fail me forever.

[23]

and don’t ever stare into darkness
don't look at it for too long you might break it do not eat what you are fed you will not make it don't stand on that too long it strips you naked don't throw yourself away you are sacred

[24]

it was night and he was crying
no songs the lovebird sings a flutter stretched like a stutter step he was on my roof bled to the brink of empty the tank ran out of fuel for the blinking lights and how I wish you were a dancing queen arm in arm arm in arm

[25]

arms wide open like
you are the shadow that falls behind you and you are the picture that you have painted and you are the product of the roads you've traveled. when we jump in the water it is cold, it is cold, and when we get out it is cold, it is cold, because if I say cold and you say cold then it is cold. oh, the stars are one way mirrors reflecting us all in retrospect and there are eyes looking down watching your left turn on stadium drive as you talk to your mistress on the telephone before you slam on the breaks and hit the little girl selling cookies. they have no tears, and they have no predictions but what they do have is a bed of roses for you to lie in just as grandmother said.

[26]

could be seen
tracing my pencil fingers down your crooked roads I draw lines with inspiration that never cold machines moving back and forth in and out with circles and lines that never what if I want to believe that there's something underneath that never

[27]

the clouds are cement
limbs fully asleep with my head still driving on the cold interstate dead fingers tapping on my steering wheel cum stains on my pants the clouds they are hard to see but I can see faces staring back at me etched in cement the clouds they are hard to see but I can see faces staring back at me of which I lament

[28]

disease
the going gets tough with thick blood at the cusp in gravity I trust in gravity I trust lips on your neck almost made me forget I taste the oh how the naked trees and bleach white streets used to always spell trouble for me.

[29]

skin like silk
in twisted sheets we touch like silk much like silk on winter nights beating cold like heat like body heat and at the final peak of euphoria found beneath the warmest sheets on nights where the dark is so thick that we wear masks for the sake of mystery you can feel the final touches of something welled so deep, beneath the box springs, beneath the floorboards, beneath the cement slab and below the basement, near the bottom of the earth. you can feel it slide off of the very tip of your essence, from your tongue, from your fingertips. and it felt kind of like silk just like silk.

[30]

green fields
suck my eyes into a blazing picture tube keeping me from floating tying me to my chair while gravity gives itself a break I am still chasing the first butterfly that anyone ever gave me.

[31]

induction the blood fell like water as I tumbled down the mountain but I never felt a thing and there were muscles eating away at other muscles waterlogged, all of them with the sweat accumulated from lying deathly still and I was only half alive so my expressions were only half contrived and my emotions were only cast aside because the moonlight bounced off of my furniture in the queerest way and vomit doesn’t taste as bad if you haven’t eaten anything but make-believe