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Running Head: PREVENTING MARRIAGE FROM ENDING IN DIVORCE

PREVENTING MARRIAGE FROM ENDING IN DIVORCE
Before we start on the subject matter, a few lines explaining why divorce is to be prevented (to the extent possible), will be appropriate. Is it really a social crime for a couple, incompatible with each other, separate by mutual consent in pursuit of happiness? No, but the above situation is idealism and almost never happens. Divorces come with bitter words and harsh actions on part of both spouses, and human relationships being increasingly complex; the same soon forms a vicious cycle. As per Clarke-Simmons & Brentano (2006), adults undergoing divorce are subjected to emotional upheavals and trauma, which more often results in negative effects rather than positive. The effects of children are still more traumatic. The negative power which a divorce can generate, is therefore unwanted as it harms our social fabric. Social experts discourage divorce in different ways. Some advocate the point of view that divorce is against the religious tenets of Christianity. At the other extreme, marriage counselors are also preventers of divorce. For instance, when the spouses can no longer communicate in peace, then the marriage counselor acts as a sort of neutral party. Both the spouses can speak about their problems, in the counselor’s presence, who can then try to show each spouse went wrong. However, as Markman et al (2010) says, communication is the main key. No one marries to divorce, and if marriage turns to divorce, then ‘communications ‘is the villain, abetted by other side-kicks e.g. Age, Stress, Drugs, Intoxicants, Infidelity etc. Divorce can be and should be prevented at the initial anger and resentment stage itself. Good communication skills help here. Getting the priorities right and boundaries perfect is something, which has be done, by both spouses. Taking the responsibility, refusing to let one’s ego rule one’s thoughts, admitting “I am

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wrong” and saying sorry are small things but can do a lot in saving marriages. To err is human after all but to admit it, is great. Therefore, most divorces can be prevented with the help of the society’s values and by bringing about a solid value foundation either in the house or outside. These values have to be taught to our children now, if we want to bring down the divorce rate successfully.

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References:Bayne R, Bimrose J, Horton I; (1996) New Directions in Counseling, Rutledge Publishers; London GBR Clarke-Stewart. A & Brentano.C.(2006) Divorce Causes & Consequences; Yale University Press, London and New Haven Markman H, Stanely S & Blumberg S (2010) Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition; John Wiley & Sons, San Francisco, CA.