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Preamble an announcement made several times to the audience as they are gathering, before the start. There should be two heralds:

Oyez, Oyez, Oyez!

It is the decree of His Noble Majesty

King de Oaf
and his gracious lady wife

Queen Charisma
that there shall be a Grand Palace Ball to which all are invited - nobles and commoners of all grades. And Their Majesties have declared that at the conclusion of the ball their most Illustrious, Courageous and Handsome son

Prince Charming
(Bachelor of this Kingdom) will make his selection of the most Eligible and Beautiful Princess to be his Bride; As a consequence of which their Most Powerful, and Generous Majesties will be donating one half of this their Kingdom as dowry.

Roll up! Roll up! Come to the Party and win yourself a Prince!

Scene 1

The Village Cinders.(signboard). Villagers selling and buying things. Butcher (Director) butchering and shouting at the back. Meat for SaleMeat for Sale Some members of chorus on stage, moving around. Background music slowly growing in volume as they speak. NARRATOR 1: NARRATOR 2: NARRATOR 1: NARRATOR 2: NARRATOR 1: NARRATOR 2: NARRATOR 1: NARRATOR 2: NARRATOR 1: NARRATOR 2: Have you heard there is going to be a ball! A ball, where? At the palace there have been invitations to everyone in my street. Why is the Prince throwing a ball? the Prince is looking for a wife. A wife?! Yeah, a girl a lady a dame! Oh look here are Baron Rednics daughters

Ugly Sisters enter, short one in front of tall one. Short one is wearing her hair so tall that she is taller than the tall one. Both have MOLES. NARRATOR 1: SALMONELLA: (rubbing his specs to get a better view) Are those moles? (being dragged off by NARRATOR 2) (Pointing to Rubella) Look at her, dreaming about a husband. Theres more chance the Prince will pick a banana than pick her! I, on the other hand, am so gorgeous that hes bound to pick me at the ball! (Dreamily) But Im the beautiful one, hes going to pick me. You?! Beautiful?! Not a chance! Its me hell pick. No, me! Me! Me!


They start to poke each other, like small children fighting. They keep repeating Me!. They carry on fighting, briefly. Suddenly they stop, seeing that they are being watched. They brush themselves down, link arms and face the audience. N1: N2: N1: SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: Ahem, such behaviour! Who would have thought it from the nobility! Quarrelling again! But us sisters never quarrel! But us sisters never quarrel! Lets go and choose what to wear for the Ball. Yes, lets. And its my turn for the scarf.


Not it isnt! You wore that yesterday its my turn!

Exit Sisters stage left, arm in arm, quarrelling.

The Rednics kitchen.

Ugly Sisters enter, dragging behind them a large piece of cloth. This should be ornate, and is what they are arguing about. Although the audience dont know this yet, this cloth is actually two pieces, joined by a long strip of tapes it will be torn apart during the subsequent argument. SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: The Ball, the Ball! Im so looking forward to it. Just think how I will drift into the Princes arms, how he will gaze at me in rapture, how I Imagine indeed! Why should he look at you when I am there, fluttering my eyelashes, showing him how, I, Rubella, am the one he has always wanted (shows a disgust look to the audience and then recovers quickly) Anyway, give me back my scarf. What do you mean, your scarf? Its my turn for it today!


Salmonella tugs (gently!) at the scarf. RUBELLA: Rubella tugs (gently!) at the scarf. Salmonella tugs (not quite as gently!) at the scarf. SALMONELLA: Oo! How dare you! Give me that back! During the next part of the dialogue there is pulling, backwards of forwards, of the scarf. Make sure this is gentle enough not to dislodge the tapes attachment on the scarf, but get ready for the scarf to split. RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: No! Yes! No! Yes! Aaagh! Now look what youve done! Youve ruined it! That wasnt me you tore it! Oh no I didnt! (inciting audience) Oh yes you did! Oh no I didnt! (suddenly [mock] crying) Anyway, I wanted the green scarf. Its not fair. I was my turn, now its ruined. Sob, sob; weep, weep. (completely over the top [mock] crying) Oh woe is me, boo hoo! Boo hoo! And Im hungry now. (distracted) Ooh, so am I. Lets get some food. Cinderella! Cinderella!

Salmonella and Rubella pull hard on the scarf, in opposite directions. The scarf splits. Both are amazed and upset.


Minutes pass but there is no sign of Cinderella. Enter Director, Centre left.


Where the ..ahem is Cinderella? How are we supposed to know that. (Appears from Downstage right. Feeling guilty. Fingers Linking.) ErmMr. Director.shes not here yet. What!!! Shes NOT here yet?


Enter Cinderella, front stage right. She is lovely but rather tattily dressed. She goes to stage front centre. She is smiling. Possibly she blows kisses to the audience. CINDERELLA: STEPSISTERS: DIRECTOR: MANAGER: DIRECTOR: PRINCE: CAMERAMAN: PRINCE: CAMERAMAN: DIRECTOR: N2: SARSAPARILLA: SorryIm so so sorry that Im late. (Horrified) She is Cinderella? Are you kidding me? (ignoring the rest)Nownow.Now that Cinderella is here. Lets get this rolling. ErmThe prince has yet to arrive Gosh!!! Faster call him. Tell him that he has 5 minutes!!! (walks in arrogantly) Im here. Whats with the hp?) What else? You are LATE. Dont you know that? So WHAT!!!Whats your problem? WHAT!!!Say that again? (looking frustrated) Lets get this done and over with. Act 1, Scene 4, Act 1 Scene 4, Take 1 What are you doing?

(Everyone takes out the handphones and starts calling him when)

((Song) PRINCE&CAMERAMAN start to quarrel. Both are then being dragged away)

Baroness Sarsaparilla enters upstage left. Music suddenly stops. Sarsaparilla sweeps downstage forward to come between the two sisters, as Cinderella backs off upstage right. Sarsaparilla does not see that Cinderella is present. The Sisters brush themselves down, and try to look respectable. SALMONELLA: RUBELLA: SARSAPARILLA: Getting ready for the ball Mother, Dearest! You must look your finest. We cannot have the Prince choosing some common girl, he has to choose one of you. You, you will be the princess, and I, I shall become queen, yes, queen!

Cinderella in backing off knocks over the broom (besom) that is leaning against the table. It crashes to the floor. Sarsaparilla spins round in surprise. SARSAPARILLA: CINDERELLA: SARSAPARILLA: You! What are you doing here, wretched girl! (regaining composure with difficulty) I I was just going to get ready to go to the ball too, your majesty, your eminence, my lady You, you going to the ball? Dont make me laugh. He wants beautiful, elegant ladies, like my daughters. Besides, you have nothing to wear

only those rags. You will not have time to go to the ball. I forbid it. Pah! Come girls! Cinderella is horrified. Sarsaparilla takes the hands of the sisters and the three of them (Salmonella, Sarsaparilla and Rubella) exit stage left. They hold their heads high as they march off. Cinderella moves forward to front stage right as they exit, and then bursts into tears. Cinderella rushes to her mums grave. Narrator 1: ..silence~ DIRECTOR: MANAGER: DIRECTOR: What now!!!! We just couldnt find the Angel. (poking her head from the side. (covering his face for he could not believe his luck) Go and find her this Instance!!! When you do, DRAG her here!!! .(looking back at the Frightened Manager) What are you standing there for?...MOVE, WOMAN, MOVE!!! FREEZE~ Meanwhile.. The scene where the ANGEL was trying to seduce the narratorYea yeaI repeat SEDUCE!!! *chairs action~ and suddenly, her handphone rings ANGEL: (*her face turns sour. The directors ROARS could be heard from a distance) Erm I have to go backGoodbye, dear~ Ill be back. ANGEL rushes back to the scene, pink face. The DIRECTOR just GLARES at her and signals to the rest. Narrator 2: Narrator 2: ANGEL: CINDERELLA: ANGEL: CINDERELLA: ANGEL: CINDERELLA: Act 1 Scene 4, Take 1 All of a sudden, the grave moves and out comes the ANGEL. Yes, womanSTOP your crocodile tears. How can I help you? AHHhhhh, GHOST!!!!(grabs the ghost, kicks and steps on her. OOooiiiWoman~ Im not a GHOST, for goodness sake!!! Im an ANGEL!!! ahhh...opps sorry~ (pink to the ears) (getting up with difficulty&then dusting off her what-ever-she-is-wearing) I have the intention of getting you to the ball but what did I get in return. REALLY?!!!...If so, I want to be the prettiest of ALLand then the PRINCE will(dreamily) ahhhso embarrassing.My heart could not Take it) (Backstage) Sarsaparilla starts speaking she interrupts, not knowing or caring Baroness, then sisters enter stage left. They are squabbling, each sister saying Me! No, me!. Cinderellaas you can see, is sad (gripping on Cinderellas head and twisting it to the Audience) She stands there with..


It does not matter who is the most beautiful you are both the most beautiful except for me, of course. Now smile at the Prince, smile at him. (the two sisters grimace a smile). No, no! Not like that! Like this! (Sarsaparilla smiles too horribly. The sisters try to copy her.) And dance elegantly Dance.Never mind. And laugh at his jokes even if they are not funny. (Very, over-posh, noise:) Ha, ha, ha; Ha, ha, ha. ( sisters start cackling. Sarsaparilla remains stony-faced.) Not like that! (sisters stop cackling, and look embarrassed.) Now, what do you say when you are introduced to the Prince? Yo, Princey! No! You say How kind of you to let me come. Now, off with you to the ball.

RUBELLA: SARSAPARILLA: The sisters exit stage left.

Sarsaparilla sweeps out stage left. End of scene blackout as she exits. This is a good time for dark, evil music. Narrator1: ANGEL: CINDERELLA: FAIRY G.: CINDERELLA: FAIRY G.: Cinderella is very puzzled. (Groaning~)ANGEL quickly gives her wand a swing but nothing happened. She swings even harder and to her dismay, her wand snaps into half. ANGEL: CINDERELLA: ANGEL: CINDERELLA: DIRECTOR: Act 1, Scene 5 The palace. Stage is completely empty there will be singing and dancing, and we have to allow the space for that! Prince Charming and his footman enter upstage right. FOOTMAN: PRINCE CHARMING: DIRECTOR: Is there any woman here that interest you? BAH~All of them are just not my cup of tea. They are just UG(silence.and then stamping his foot) AhhhI forgot my lines!!! (smacking his head and then shouts) Give him the text. (recovering herself and throwing her wand away) Forget about it. Anyway, you must remember to leave the ball when the clock strikes twelve. ButbutWhat about my clothes?....How am I going to go there? (talking to herself as she exits left) Ill think of something. (following her off stage, sulking, pouting) Hallo? Are you listening me? (shouts as he enters right) CUT!!! Good. Next scene, PALACE~ (exits stage right) Meanwhile, back to the ANGEL and CINDERELLA Ahem! Right! Lets get this show on the road. Im your Angel. You want to go to the ball, right? (looking bored) Do I need to repeat myself? Yeah, yeah I know the story. Wheres your coach? I havent got a coach. I No coach? Do I have to do everything? Go and get me a pumpkin and quick about it!

*Manager rushed from stage left towards Prince and shows him the text. Then off to stage right.


OKOKCamera (Cameraman yawning) ready and off you go.

Is there any women here that interest you? BAH~All of them are just not my cup of tea. They are just UGUG(silence.and then looking at the other side. Sound Editor(Erna) could be seen holding the word card from below. AhhThey are just UG-LY. OK, goodGet ready for the next scene.


Everyone exits stage right. Music starts. (Song) Music stops. The Prince and his footman enter stage right. FOOTMAN: PRINCE CHARMING: FOOTMAN: FOOTMAN: Right, folks, get yourselves in order. Were open for business. And you (addresses Prince) have got to choose your bride tonight. Got it? But, I (ignoring him) Good let the ball commence! Her Excellency Lady Sarsaparilla Rednic, and the horrible, um honourable ladies Rubella and Salmonella Rednic. Ah, Dame Sarsaparilla, how delightful to see you and your um, charming daughters.

Music starts. Footman enters stage centre to announce each guest.

The Rednics enter and curtsey to the audience. PRINCE:

The charming daughters are outrageously flirting with the Prince who is appalled (and horrified and disgusted).The two bearded sisters grab the Prince and take him to mid right. The Prince is not pleased. People continue entering from all sides. Some may just remain in the auditorium, at the front, visible to the audience (but not blocking sight to the stage). ANGEL also enters. Eventually we have nearly everyone on stage except for Cinderella. The footman from back centre also mingles. PRINCE: (claps hands, music stops) Let the dancing begin! Music starts. [16] Each person turns towards their partner. N1 and 2 take up an elegant dance pose. Manager and Angel are a bit confused but eventually Angel takes up the ladys pose. The Prince glares at Rubella and holds him/her at a great distance. Comic Dance. Choreography required here! PRINCE CHARMING: RUBELLA: PRINCE CHARMING: RUBELLA: SALMONELLA: You have another sister, do you not? Yes, indeed, your royalness her name is Allenella. And does she have any children? Yes, your highnessness a boy and a girl. (cackles with laughter) My sisters not well sometimes she feels like a goat.

All groan. Progress to next partner. In particular, at this point the Prince moves on from Rubella to Salmonella.


Really? When did that start? Oh, when she was a kid. (cackles with laughter)

At the end of the dance all bow and drift off to the side, except for the Prince, who come to stage front. During the next section CINDERELLA enters at the back to downstage centre. There is a general hubbub, people say Who? and all turn to look centre back. All freeze. Everyone is waiting all frozen. Cinderella coughs. Music~And CINDERELLA starts dancing as everyone stares at him. The music gradually subsides when the Director roarsCUT!!!! And the rest stumbles off stage, then peeping from the side, leaving only Cinderella and the Director. DIRECTOR: CINDERELLA: (glares at Cinderella) What kind of dance was that!!! But Director, this is the latest dance. You are so so old fashioned. Can you see everyone likes it? Aint I right?( Winks at the audience) Sounds of people vomitting~And the Director sees red. DIRECTOR: CINDERELLA: DIRECTOR: (controlling himself) Are you going to dance or what? Yer.(walks to the side, stamping her foot while pouting angrily FINE!!! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!!!I have enough of this!!!.... (striping her DIRECTOR overall and tossing them on the floor and shouts) I QUIT!!!.

Everyone is dumbfounded. (Ending Song) CHARACTERS INTRODUCTION~

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