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When in Doubt, Kiss the Fish — And Other Extremely Wise Advice

by John Kremer and Friends

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. — David H. Comins When in doubt, quote Franklin. — anonymous

Copyright © 2008 by John Kremer All rights reserved. Illustrations by Phil Frank Copyright © 1993 by Creative Media Services

Open Horizons P. O. Box 2887 Taos NM 87571

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The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth. — Pierre Abelard, priest If you had any doubt about that, Lady Elaine, you might have asked. After all, you have words and that's what words are for, aren't they? — Lady Betty Aberlin

When in doubt, kiss the fish. — Jonathan Adolph He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. — Louisa May Alcott, novelist Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory. — Alan Alda, actor When in doubt, don't. — Lamar Alexander, Lamar Alexander's Little Plaid Book When in doubt, abstain. — Alexei Alexandrovich, character in Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy When in doubt, close your eyes. Think of England. — Amos, Israeli agent in The Assignment movie

When in doubt, act like a gorilla. — Antoine, director character in Early Edition TV show

When in doubt, make like Donald Trump. — Jennifer Armstrong, Entertainment Weekly If you doubt yourself, wear something else. — AussieBum magazine advertisement

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties. — Francis Bacon, philosopher

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is—it is her shadow. — Philip James Bailey, poet

When in doubt, you can always consult. — Ryan Bakken, journalist Weary the path that does not challenge. Doubt is an incentive to truth and patient inquiry leadeth the way. — Hosea Ballou, preacher In necessary things, unity; in doubtful things, liberty; in all things, charity. — Richard Baxter, Puritan

When in doubt, leave it at home. — Michael Becraft When you’re up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut. — Jack Beauregard, character in My Name Is Nobody movie When in doubt, peel out. — Alex Blagg, blogger, Blogg Blogg

If the Sun and Moon should ever doubt, they’d immediately go out. — William Blake, poet and artist

When in doubt, wear red. — Bill Blass, fashion designer Guidelines for bureaucrats: 1) When in charge, ponder. 2) When in trouble, delegate. 3) When in doubt, mumble. — James H. Boren Doubt whom you will, but never yourself. — Christine Bovee When in doubt, laugh at yourself. — Sonia Braga, actress

I have a rule that has served me well in life. When in doubt, do nothing. If you're not sure, don't buy it, don't comment, don't commit. Sit tight. — Tempe Brennan, forensic anthropologist in Kathy Reich's Deja Dead Remember, when in doubt, you should never do what you truly want to do. — Nathan Bronfman, character in Human Nature movie When in doubt, cut to the skyline. — Jamie Buchman, character in Mad About You TV show (reading a fortune cookie)

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. — Buddha, founder of Buddhism Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair. — Edmund Burke, British statesman

When in doubt, DO something. If it turns out to be wrong, correct it. But you will never know until you do it. — Ivan Burnell, author

When in doubt, end with a quote. — Michael Cader, book producer When all else fails, read the instructions. — Cahn's Axiom

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. — Thomas Carlyle, philosopher

When in doubt, just cook it. — Mary Carmichael Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. — Dale Carnegie, motivational author

When in doubt, my dears, take an extreme case. — Lewis Carroll, author Remember, when in doubt, throw it to Carter! — Chris Carter, football receiver When in doubt, eat. — Lisa Cates, character in August Fires movie

When in doubt, have somebody enter the room with a gun. — Raymond Chandler, detective novelist

When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns. — Raymond Chandler, detective novelist When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed. — Harry Chapman Whenever you have doubts about something, communicate! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves. When you feel stress, disagreement or resistance between you and someone near you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating. — Mike Chatelain, author,

If you listen, one day you might be heard. And when in doubt, use the smell test. — Maurice Chavez, character in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City video game The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums. — Gilbert Keith Chesterton, novelist, Orthodoxy

Great doubts, deep wisdom. Small doubts, little wisdom. — Chinese proverb

When in doubt, buy your man a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. — Christmas Gift Ideas for Men Nearly all societies have the instinct is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If

this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head. — Winston Churchill, British prime minister By doubting we come to truth. — Cicero, philosopher and orator He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. — J. F. Clarke

When in doubt, lie your head off. — Brian Cloughley, journalist, CounterPunch

If all else fails, issue an ultimatum. — married husband with child, Cold Feet TV show When in doubt, just say, “But how do you feel about that?” — Tess Coleman, character in Freaky Friday movie Doubt is the vestibule which all must pass before they can enter the temple of wisdom. When we are in doubt and puzzle out the truth by our own exertions, we have gained something that will stay by us and will serve us again. But if to avoid the trouble of the search we avail ourselves of the superior information of a friend, such knowledge will not remain with us; we have not bought, but borrowed it. — Charles Caleb Colton, author When you have nothing to say, say nothing. — Charles Caleb Colton, author When in doubt, delete it. — Philip Cosby When in doubt, check him out. — Joseph Culligan, book title When in doubt, sling effort at it. — George W. Cummings, Sr.

When in doubt, mull. — Mario Cuomo, governor


Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt. — Clarence Darrow, attorney When in doubt, make no change at all. — Phil Davis, president, Tungsten Brilliant Brand Marketing If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you

doubt, as far as possible, all things. — Rene Descartes, philosopher The first precept was never to accept a thing as true until I knew it as such without a single doubt. — Rene Descartes When in doubt, find another sponsor. When in trouble, hire a wrangler. Because there’s never enough time. And there never will be. — Hilary De Vries, entertainment journalist, The Gift Bag Chronicles

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. — Dilbert's Laws of Work

When in doubt, do as the Romans do. — Hugh D. Dillehay When in doubt, give a book. — Discount Portland Guide When in doubt, try the nearest bad guy. — Jimmy Dix, character in The Last Boy Scout movie In my book, if you fail at donuts, you’ve failed at life. — donut manager, character in Madonna: Innocence Lost TV movie

When in doubt, I’ve found retracing your steps a wise place to begin. — Albus Dumbledore, character in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

If in doubt, farm it out. — The Economist magazine headline

Two people only hurt each other if they doubt the love they have for one another. — Tom Edison, character in Dogville movie

Real love is more than a physical feeling. If there's even the slightest doubt in your head about a guy, then forget about it. It's not real. — Ethan Embry Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely. — Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist

When in doubt, ask your tailor. — Esquire magazine’s The New Laws of Fashion

Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt. — Bergen Evans, author, The Natural History of Nonsense

There is no harm in doubt and skepticism, for it is through these that new discoveries are made. — Richard Feynman, physicist What every computer consultant needs to know: 1) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. 2) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them. — Finagle's Rules

When in doubt, don’t pitch it out. — football option rule

If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues' initials on 'em, and pass them along. When in doubt, route. — Malcolm Forbes, magazine publisher When in doubt, duck. — Malcolm Forbes, magazine publisher When in doubt, make a western. — John Ford, movie director

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, home, Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. — Saint Francis of Assisi, Prayer of St. Francis When in doubt, don’t. — Ben Franklin, inventor, patriot, scientist, author, publisher, statesman

When in doubt, medicate. — Dr. Ian Frechette, character in Cupid TV show When in doubt, destroy. Even if you go down with your captive. — J. E. Freedman, Above the Law When in doubt, gallop! — proverb of the French Foreign Legion

When in doubt, just include those four letters we all love to see in print—FREE. — Albert FriedCassorla


When in doubt, don’t think too much. Close your eyes, play, and have fun. — Dave Gage, author, Harmonica When in doubt, get up off the chair and stand up for practicing and jamming to facilitate good breathing habits. Try to stand erect with your head up, back straight, and body relaxed. — Dave Gage, author, Harmonica

When in doubt, lick your lips. — Dave Gage, author, Harmonica Doubt is the father of invention. — Galileo Galilei, astronomer When in doubt, call a pro. — Jackie Gallogly, marketing technology officer, Inbox Interactive If in doubt, always follow your nose. — Gandalf the wizard in The Fellowship of the Ring movie When in doubt, do without. — Samuel ben Hofni Gaon, rabbi

When in doubt, apply booze. — Luke Garrison, character in novel, Above the Law by J. E. Freedman When in doubt, don’t. — Saul Gellerman, academic For the truly faithful, no miracle is necessary. For those who doubt, no miracle is sufficient. — Nancy Gibbs Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. — Kahlil Gibran, poet Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. — Andre Gidé, novelist and critic If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of doubts of my own. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet and essayist We know accurately only when we know little; with knowledge doubt increases. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet and essayist

When in doubt, peddle disinformation. — Dave Goldberg, football writer When in doubt, go defense. — Dave Goldberg, football writer A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. — Arthur Golden, novelist, Memoirs of a Geisha

It is a great thing to know exactly what to do in an emergency. When in doubt whether to attack or retreat, I never hesitate a moment. I toss a copper. — Gordon Granger, general When in doubt, do more homework. — Andy Green When in doubt, trust your instincts. — Andy Green When in doubt, go with the little voice in your head. — Andy Green

When in doubt, ask what your mom would do. — Andy Green When in doubt, ask what would a horse do in this situation. — Andy Green

When in doubt, ask what would Abraham Lincoln do in this situation. — Andy Green Doubt 'til thou canst doubt no more...doubt is thought and thought is life. Systems which end doubt are devices for drugging thought. — Albert Guerard

When in doubt, press a lot of buttons. — Gyro, the scientist (Donald Duck show)


When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. — Cynthia Heimel

When in doubt, punt. — John Heisman, football coach When in doubt, don’t. — Jim Hendrickson, mergers and acquisitions When in doubt, eat parsley. — Julia Hidy, author

Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent. — Napoleon Hill, motivational author When in doubt, you guess New Jersey. — Gary Hobson, character in Early Edition TV show

When facing a difficult task, act as though it's impossible to fail. When going after Moby Dick, take along the tartar sauce! — Joel Hodgson, host, Mystery Science Theater 3000 TV show Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our

failures, discouragements and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end results of a clean forward thrust, and our present difficulties as signs of decline and decay. — Eric Hoffer, psychologist When in doubt, do it. — Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., author To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man. — Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., author When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains however improbable must be the truth. — Sherlock Holmes, character in Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking TV movie

When in doubt, don't open other people's mail! — Pat Holt, editor When in doubt, taunt. — Pat Holt, editor When in doubt, blame it on the brick-andmortars! — Pat Holt, editor When in doubt, try this mantra: Precise and spare; precise and spare; precise and spare. — Pat Holt, editor When in doubt, go broad. — Gregory House, character in House, M.D. TV show

When in doubt, follow someone. — David Housewright, quoting from Chapter Four of the Universal Private Eye Instruction Manual, Third Edition When in doubt, ask for permission. — E. Keith Howick Jr., publisher

So that is the basic lesson that anybody learns in this universe. They learn to keep their mouth shut, and it’s the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate. — L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology When in doubt, attack Iraq. — Mike Hume, editor, Spiked Online

Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom. — George Iles

Confusion is always the most honest response. — Marty Indik When in doubt, don't bother. — Internet humor

When in doubt, ignore it. — Internet humor

When perplexed, confused, frustrated and all else has failed, fall back on the truth. — J’s Business Maxim When in doubt, risk it. — Holbrook Jackson, editor and journalist

Secret #434: The boss is never wrong. Secret #435: When in doubt, see secret

#434. — Jimmy James, character in NewsRadio TV show

When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred. — Thomas Jefferson, U.S. president


When in doubt, remove your hat. — George Kalogerakis When in doubt, blame Clinton/Gore. — Madeleine Begun Kane

When in doubt, print 'em out. — Karl's Programming Proverb 0x7

When in doubt, throw a whole lot of onion and garlic seeds around. — Karen Keefe When in doubt, look intelligent. — Garrison Keillor, radio personality Chest pain: When in doubt, have it seen…. So if you suspect that you might be having a heart attack, call 911 immediately—it may be well worth the money. — Richard Kerber, professor of internal medicine

Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever. — Nancy Kerrigan, ice skater If my parents still get upset over the obscene portion size of American food, I seriously doubt I'm gonna make any inroads with Eminem. — Lane Kim, character in Gilmore Girls TV show When in doubt, order the burger. The best advice my father ever gave me: If you're in an establishment where the food is questionable, you go with the hamburger every single time. — Jimmy Kimmel, TV host When in doubt, I say go young. — Peter King, sports columnist When in doubt, reboot. — Dennis Kneale

When in doubt, simplify. — Chuck Knox, football coach

There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. — Alfred Korzybski, logician and scientist A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards. — Karl Kraus, journalist In case of doubt, decide in favor of what is correct. — Karl Kraus, journalist When in doubt, do it today! — John Kremer

It really doesn’t take many words to tell a story, make a joke, or move people to tears of laughter or sorrow. When in doubt, cut some more. — John Kremer, author

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. — Doug Larson, humorist

When in doubt, choose black. — Jeanne Marie Laskas’s fashion advice

When in doubt, choke him out. — Gene LeBell, grappling master

When in doubt, it is best to lean to the side of mercy. — Legal Maxim To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting. — Stanislaus Lescynski When in doubt, use parsley. — Amy Lester, blogger

When in doubt, go down. — Michael Levine, publicist, Levine Breaking News If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly. — Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, physicist and satirist One's first step in wisdom is to question everything—and one's last is to come to terms with everything. — Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, physicist and satirist First there is a time when we believe everything, then for a little while we believe with discrimination, then we believe nothing whatever, and then we believe everything again—and, moreover, give reasons why we believe. — Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, physicist and satirist

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Abraham Lincoln, U.S. president Gentlemen of the jury. Law says that a man can not be found guilty if there's a reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury. I aim to raise that doubt in your minds, friends. — Abe Lincoln, character in Abe Lincoln: Freedom Fighter movie If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done. — John Lubbock, politician and biologist

Look at a man in the midst of doubt and danger, and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is. — Lucretius, poet

When in doubt, lie. — Mr. Lyle, character in The Pretender TV series When in doubt, take it as a compliment. — Angie Lyman

When in doubt, faith it. — Wayne Mackey

So when in doubt, you kiss Craig? — Craig Manning, character in Degrassi: The Next Generation TV series When in doubt, admit it. Be truthful about your own skills and abilities. Take responsibility for informing others when you

need additional support and training. — March of Dimes web site, Rules for the Road When in doubt, blame the patriarchy first. The first person to blame for something is The Man. — Amanda Marcotte, blogger It is easier to believe than to doubt. — Everett D. Martin When in doubt, write about a funeral. — Frank McCourt, author, Angela's Ashes When all else fails, blame the other woman. — D.A. Jack McCoy, character in Law & Order TV show When in doubt, procrastinate now! — Fred Mercer

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue. — Merkin's Maxim If you think you’ve hit a false note, sing loud. When in doubt, sing loud. — Robert Merrill, composer

When in doubt, spend gobs of cash on ads in all the major newspapers on a one-day rampage against government. That always beats befriending politicians and bureaucrats. — Top 10 Microsoft NonMonopolistic Slogans In case of doubt, do a little more than you have to. — Warren Mitchell, actor I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. — Wilson Mizner, screenwriter When in doubt, shred it. — Russell Mokhiber and Robert Weissman, authors, Corporate Predators

Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truths. — Moliere, dramatist To philosophize is to doubt. — Michel de Montaigne, essayist When in doubt, go higher. — Mountain Gazette motto

When in doubt, shout back. And shout louder. — Mike Muldoon, Navy Seal character in Suzanne Brockmann's Into the Night

Have a delay button (preferably 20 seconds or more) and when in doubt, use it. — Erich Mancow Muller, radio personality, Mancow’s Commandments for Radio Personalities Knowledge and personality make doubt possible, but knowledge is also the cure of doubt; and when we get a full and adequate sense of personality we are lifted into a region where doubt is almost impossible, for no man can know himself as he is, and all fullness of his nature, without also knowing God. — T. T. Munger

When in doubt, empty your magazine. — Murphy's Rules of Combat Operations When in doubt, belly buttons belong on MTV, guitars on VH-1. — My Generation magazine


When in doubt, hold it or throw it away. — Jim Nance, football commentator Frantic orthodoxy is never rooted in faith but in doubt. It is when we are unsure that we are doubly sure. — Reinhold Niebuhr, theologian

When in doubt, sweat it out! — Jay North, author, How Safe is Your Food? Miracles in the Kitchen

When in doubt, whip it out. — Ted Nugent, rock musician and gun advocate (quoted by David Spade)

When in doubt, do it yourself. — Keith Olberman, sports commentator

When in danger, When in doubt, Run in circles, Scream and shout. — Old Sailor's Proverb When in doubt, get a doughnut. Many of the bad things that happen in cars driven by teenagers happen because a kid is ticked

off, heartbroken, disappointed, tired, or depressed…. Pulling over for a doughnut and coffee is the perfect antidote to anxiety. — Hugh O’Neill, magazine columnist

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. — P. J. O'Rourke, humorist


When in doubt, read the book. — Alan Parker, movie director Chill: When in doubt, throw it out…. Never taste food that looks or smells strange to see if you can still use it. Just discard it. — Partnership for Food Safety Education When in doubt, kill cute things. — Stephan Pastis, author

When in doubt, observe and ask questions. When certain, observe at length and ask many more questions. — George Patton, general When in doubt, attack. — Dave Pell, blogger, davenetics Doubt is the key to knowledge. — Persian proverb

If we get our information from the biblical material there is no doubt that the Christian

life is a dancing, leaping, daring life. — Eugene Peterson When in doubt about using a trademark in your meta tag, leave it out. — Lisa Picarille, editor When in doubt, put on the Finding Nemo DVD. I think it’s a wonderful movie, but the kids feel that way, too. — Mohammed Pinto, children’s entertainer When in doubt, leave it out. Don't rely solely on lawyers. — Brian Pittman, editor, Master Journalist When in doubt, add more wine. — plaque

When in doubt … shop. — Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter character in Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich

In other words, if all that are available are the percentages, the X chart provides an excellent approximation to the p chart. The same conclusion applies to data for the np chart, c chart, u chart, sigma chart, etc. In all these cases, and more, the Swiss army knife of control charts allows the process operator to focus on data. One could even argue that the simplicity of using a single chart instead of several charts outweighs the mathematical advantages in many cases. So, when in doubt, get the X chart out. — Thomas Pyzdek, president, Quality Publishing


When in doubt, always hide secret formulas in your bra. Then make out with Val Kilmer. — Brian Raftery, journalist When in doubt, kill. — Rambo, character in First Light movie

Fidelity to commitment in the face of doubts and fears is a very spiritual thing. — Real Live Preacher

We think having faith means being convinced God exists in the same way we are convinced a chair exists. People who cannot be completely convinced of God’s existence think faith is impossible for them. Not so. People who doubt can have great faith because faith is something you do, not something you think. In fact, the greater your doubt, the more heroic your faith. — Real Live Preacher The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. — Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. president

The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent, experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it, if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. — Theodore Roosevelt, U.S. president When in doubt, compartmentalize. — M. J. Rose, blogger and novelist There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure. — Kyle Rote, Jr.

When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. — Rules of the Air If in doubt, don't. Beware the man possessed of little self-doubt. — Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. secretary of defense If in doubt, don't. If still in doubt, do what's right. — Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. secretary of defense I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility. I don't mean by humility, doubt of his power. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not of them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful. — John Ruskin, essayist and reformer The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. — Bertrand Russell, philosopher and mathematician I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine. —

Bertrand Russell, philosopher and mathematician

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. — Bertrand Russell, philosopher and mathematician


On plagiarism: When in doubt, check it out! — Safety Net When in doubt, blame Israel. — Alex Safian, associate director, Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt. That's the first thing they teach you. — Sam, character in Ronin movie When in doubt, blame the writers. — Mark Sarvas, blogger, Elegant Variation

Don’t email if you don’t have to. When in doubt, initiate face-to-face dialogs (shudder). — Will Schwalbe and David Shipley, authors, Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home

When in doubt, nuke ‘em…. We risk escalating a worldwide nuclear arms race in order to nuke a shadow terrorist enemy whose most effective military weapon to date has been box cutters. — Robert Scheer, columnist When in doubt, mumble. — Michael Schubert, blogger

When in doubt, if you or someone you are with begins to have chest discomfort, especially with one or more of the other signs of a heart attack, call 9-1-1 right away. Don’t wait for more than a few minutes—5 minutes at most—to call 9-1-1. — Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt. — William Shakespeare, playwright, Measure for Measure When in doubt, insert a scene set at a strip club, no matter how irrelevant. When it comes to cheap titillation, there's nothing like nearly naked showgirls caressing metal poles. — Tom Shales, screenwriter When in doubt, back out on a technicality. — Walter Shapiro, political columnist, USA Today When in doubt, attack immigrants. — Scott Shields, journalist (in a story on a political campaign)

When in doubt, go back to the evidence. — Sidney

Liberty is the possibility of doubting, the possibility of making a mistake, the possibility of searching and experimenting, the possibility of saying No to any authority —literary, artistic, philosophic, religious, social and even political. — Ignazio Silone, author, The God That Failed Doubt is part of all religion. All the religious thinkers were doubters. — Isaac Bashevis Singer, novelist When in doubt, fuck. — Lt. Col. Frank Slade, character in Scent of a Woman movie

When you cannot make up your mind which of the two evenly balanced courses of action you should do, choose the bolder. — W. J. Slim When in doubt, tell the truth. — Spenser's rules (Robert B. Parker)

You leave Earth and anything you forget to bring with you will kill you. Anything you do bring with you which doesn't work properly will kill you. When in doubt, just assume

everything will kill you. — Nathan Spring, character in Star Cops movie When in doubt, follow the yellow brick road. — Bernard J. Srode, author, When in Doubt, Follow the Yellow Book Road To believe with certainty we must begin by doubting. — Stanislas I, king of Poland When in doubt, pinky out. — Patrick Star, character in SpongeBob SquarePants TV show When in doubt, hedge. — Linda Stern, business journalist, Newsweek

There's only one thing I know about cooking: When in doubt, add enough butter to grease Wyoming. — Ed Stevens, character in Ed TV show When in doubt, assume it’s a clue. — Jesse Stone, character in Death in Paradise TV movie When in doubt, throw it out. — Vicki Sue When in doubt who will win, be neutral. — Swiss proverb Dubito ergo sum. I doubt therefore I am. — Kayvan Sylvan

When in doubt, let it out. — tailor for Robin K. Blum When in doubt, leave it out. If you have to ask yourself, or your roommate, or your spouse, “Is this okay to wear?” then your answer is a definite “No.” If you are hesitating about it, listen to your intuition talking and pick something else. — Kim Taylor, owner, The Taylored Approach

There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds. — Alfred Lord Tennyson, poet When in doubt, go with the short cut. — Herbie Teope If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. Cherry flavor Pez. There's no doubt about it. — Vern Tessio, character in Stand by Me movie When in doubt, use brute force. — Ken Thompson

When in doubt, follow the leaders. — Thompson's Cigar Company newspaper ad

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay. If I could not doubt, I should not believe. — Henry David Thoreau, essayist When in doubt, go big. — Mike Tice, football coach When in doubt, my dear fellow, do nothing. — Leo Tolstoy, novelist, War and Peace When in doubt, send plain text email, not HTML. — Heinz Tschabitscher, email guide When all else fails, manipulate the data. — T-shirt saying

When in doubt in a tight football game, you have to stretch out the ball. — TV announcer As to the adjective, when in doubt, strike it out. — Mark Twain, novelist It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. — Mark Twain, novelist When in doubt, tell the truth. — Mark Twain, novelist

If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. — Mark Twain, novelist, Advice to Youth

When in doubt, call them out. — The Rule of the Umpire Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death. — Miguel De Unamuno, philosopher

When in doubt, win the trick. — unknown card player When in doubt, shout! — unknown Feed your faith and doubt will starve to death. — unknown

When everything else fails, read the instructions. — unknown When in doubt, pout. — unknown When in doubt, ask. When not in doubt, ask. — unknown

When in doubt, give advice. — unknown When in doubt, follow your heart, — unknown

When in doubt, dress up. You just can't go wrong. — Chase Untermeyer Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them. — Peter Ustinov, actor


When in doubt, you should thank your mother. — novelist Jennifer Vanderbes’s mother

Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right. — Laurens Van der Post, author, The Lost World of the Kalahari

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. — Voltaire, philosopher

First rule of a detective: When in doubt, hesitate. — V.I. Warshawski, fictional detective

When in doubt, give us a gift certificate to a spa. When you’re sure, give us a diamond ring. — Kerry Washington, actress, “Ten

Things You Don’t Know About Women” in Esquire magazine When in doubt, do the obvious. — Franklin Watts, pubisher

When in doubt, talk to the union people themselves and play upon their mercy. — Philip Weintraub

When in doubt, have fun with it. — Ernie Wickbaugh Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself. You may be surprised at how easily this happens. Your doubts are not as powerful as your desires, unless you make them so. — Marcia Wieder, motivational speaker and author Without doubt, success brings with it greater opportunities for failure. — Bruce Wilkinson, preacher, The Prayer of Jabez When in doubt, go for the dick joke. — Robin Williams, comedian and actor The vain man is generally a doubter. It is Newton who sees himself as child on the sea shore, and his discoveries in the colored shell. — Willmott

When in doubt, blame the server. — Don Willmott, PC Magazine

When in doubt, strike it out. — Pudd'nhead Wilson, character in novel by Mark Twain I am Klingon. If you doubt it, a demonstration can be arranged. — Lt. Worf, character in Star Trek: The Next Generation TV show When in doubt, just remember the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto your girlfriend as you masturbate quietly nearby.” — Stacey Grenrock Woods, sex columnist, Esquire magazine


When in doubt, take it out. — Kitty Bean Yancey, editor If there is any doubt in your mind, you should plead, not guilty. — Major Sinclair Yeates, character in The Irish R.M. movie When in doubt, bus. — comment


This I do know beyond any reasonable doubt. Regardless of what you are doing, if you pump long enough, hard enough and enthusiastically enough, sooner or later the effort will bring forth the reward. — Zig Ziglar, salesman and motivational speaker

When in doubt, abstain. — Zoroaster, religious leader and founder of Zoroastrianism

If you like the above quotations, you’ll love the other books in the Quotable Books series. For sample quotations from these books, see my Quotable Books website: The Art of Living: Artists, Photographers, Architects, Designers, Cartoonists, Poets, Writers, Novelists, and Critics on Art and Life The Big Bad Book of Ifs . . . The Boob Tube Guide to Life Bumper Sticker Wisdom and Other Proverbs The Business of Life: Business people and others on life, business, careers, jobs, the workplace, investments, economics, money, and more Children: A Quotable Guide for Parents

The Do’s and Don’t’s of Life Double Your Fun: Two Thoughts Are Better Than One Food for Thought: All about Food, Feasting, Diet, Drinks, and Drugs Greatness and Humility: Two sides of the same coin How to Act: Advice on How to Live and Act from Actors, Comedians, Directors, Producers, Playwrights, and Screenwriters It’s Time for a Change: Thoughts on Change, Growth, Progress, Risk, and Evolution Life & Death: It’s Really a Simple Matter The Magazine Advertiser’s Guide to Success in Business and Life The Magic of Life The Music of Life: Singers, Musicians, Composers, and Dancers on Life and Music

The Myriad Websters Dictionary: The Dictionary of the People, by the People, and for the People The Never-Never Land Guide to Life The Never-Never Land Guide to Love and Romance The Politics of Life: Thoughts on life, death, and politics from politicians, statesmen, environmentalists, civil rights leaders, historians, economists, military leaders, and social commentators The Richness of Life The Science of Life: Scientists, Inventors, and Philosophers on the Art and Science of Living The Secret Life of Pets and Animals Senior Moments: On Growing Older and Wiser The Spirit of Success The Sport of Life: How to Win in Life and Sports

Thanks for the Memories: The Role of Gratitude, Thankfulness, Forgiveness, Kindness, Generosity, and Respect in Creating a Good Life Travel and Home: All about the pleasures of home, travel, and everywhere in between The TV Advertiser’s Guide to Life The War Between Men and Women: On Men, Women, Sex, Love, Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Divorce, and Much, Much More …

Illustrated Titles
The Best Things in Life Are Free: My Favorite Quotations How to Live Your Dreams If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again If God Intended Man to Smoke, He’d Have Set Him on Fire … and Other Conclusions of God’s Work If I Had My Life to Live Over . . .

The Miracle of Life Playing the Percentages: Lies, Damned Funny Lies, Statistics, and Everything in Between When in Doubt, Kiss the Fish — And Other Extremely Wise Advice

Joke Collections
The Big Bad Book of Blonde Jokes Mother-in-Law: The Mother of All Joke Books