Where's Mom? TODD Is my head going to swell up? TOM What?! JEANIE OH, MY GOD! THE TOILET PAPER'S ALL WET!!! MOTHER (JOYCE) (screams) TOM! The house falls dead SILENT. We hear footsteps thundering through the house. A TENSE STRAIN OF MUSIC FADES UP. TODD What's that? KIMBERLY Wait! Hold still! TODD What?! KIMBERLY You heads starting to swell up!! Todd screams. We hear the sound of Tom's footsteps running through the kitchen, down the hall, up the stairs, up the hallway. A door open. TOM (breathless) What's the matter? JOYCE (worried) It's Ferris! TOM What's wrong? JOYCE (snaps) What's wrong? For Christ's sake! Look at him! 2 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS An eighteen year-old boy. He's staring lifelessly at CAMERA. His mouth's open. His eyes are bugged-out. His tongue is fat and dry in his mouth. He's laying in bed, on his side. 3 INT. BOY'S BEDROOM Ferris' parents, TOM and JOYCE BUELLER are standing at bedside. They're in their late forties, early fifties. Handsome, upper-middle class parents. They're both dressed 3 2

for work. TOM Ferris? JOYCE He doesn't have a fever. But he says his stomach hurts and he's seeing spots. 4 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS His lifeless eyes blink. 5 INT. BEDROOM. PARENTS Tom bends down and touches Ferris' forehead. TOM What's the matter, Ferris? JOYCE Feel his hands. They're cold and clammy. Tom takes one of Ferris' hands. TOM (discreetly) Should you call the doctor? JOYCE (whispers) He doesn't want me to. TOM Why don't you want Mom to call the doctor? Ferris exhales loudly. He tries to speak but all he can manage is a choked gasp. TOM What? Ferris tries again. FERRIS (raspy) Don't make a fuss. I'm fine. I'll get up. He starts to get up. Joyce gently pushes him back down. FERRIS I have a test today. I have to take it. I want to get into a good college so I can have a fruitful life... JOYCE You're not going to school like this. (to Tom) Maybe I should call the office and 5 4

KIMBERLY Myocardial infarction? JOYCE . JEAN Oh. His body stiffens and he chokes.tell them I won't be in. FERRIS Is that Jeanie? I can't see that far. Get to school. She's cute and stuck-up. Jeanie. TOM That's enough. I feel perfectly. Jeanie? JEANIE Pucker up and squat. Be thankful that you're fit and have your health. JEANIE (angry. JOYCE (annoyed) Thank you. JEANIE. Ferris' brother. KIMBERLY peek into the room. walks into the room. It's so unfair. you guys'd make me go to school. Mom.. Jeanie. TODD and sister. God! He's gripped by a seizure. Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn. FERRIS Please don't be upset with me. She glares at Ferris. right. are you? Tell me you're not falling for this. Ferris. fine. Her eyes are mascara and vengence. What's this? What's his problem? JOYCE He doesn't feel well. If I was bleeding out my eyes. Jeanie. A major pill. She slips out of the room.Oh. She's dressed for school. JEANIE You're not falling for this. JEAN Yeah. His older sister.. JEANIE (to herself) Oh. I wanna puke. Cherish it. FERRIS I'm okay. defeated) You're really letting him stay home? I can't believe this.

KIMBERLY Syphilitic meningitus? That would be a huge family embarrassment. FERRIS 6 .. JOYCE (to Ferris) I'm showing houses to the family from California today but I'll be in the area. My office'll know where I am. FERRIS I'll be okay. TOM Get downstairs! KIMBERLY If he dies. caring parents. She turns sharply and exits.. if you need me. I got dibs on his stereo. Maybe I'll have an aspirin around noon. You're both very special people. FERRIS It's nice to know I have such loving. TODD (worried) Dad? Does my head look alright? JOYCE Get downstairs! Now! TODD Just answer me one question! Is it swelling up? Kim said it was going to get as big as. Daddy'll be right down. too. TOM I'll check it with you. 6 CU.Get your stuff. KIMBERLY (OC) A WATERMELON! TODD (yells out the room) Shut-up! JOYCE Get downstairs! NOW! Todd backs out of the room. I'll just sleep.

non-specific symptom. little smile crawls across his lips. FERRIS Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. JOYCE She strokes Ferris' hair. 7 INT. JOYCE I hope you feel better. Parents are generally pretty hip to the fever scams. TV SCREEN The TV at the foot of Ferris' bed. TOM (OC) Call if you need us. The pall of the sickroom disappears in the brilliant glow of morning sunlight. His glassy eyes follow his parents to the door. The MTV theme music ROARS IN. FERRIS Ferris lets out a wheeze. It's a good. And to make them work you have to go a hundred and one. hundred and two. Tom pats his shoulder. sweetie. The MTV logo is playing. (looks out the window) What a beautiful day! He turns from the window. They close the door. FERRIS Parents always fall for the clammy hands. She leans down and kisses his forehead. A sly. BEDROOM. 10 INT.He acknowledges Tom with a pathetic flutter of his eyelids. Ferris' eyes shift from the door to CAMERA. You get a nervous mother and you end up in a doctor's office 10 9 8 7 . BEDROOM Ferris yanks open the drapes. 9 CU. 8 CU. TOM Get some rest. The lock clicks. FERRIS They bought it. JOYCE (OC) We love you. It's physical evidence of illness. pumpkin.

A NEW SONG begins. really. He pops up. It's littered with Jean's debris. FERRIS I don't care if you're fifty five or seven. So. FERRIS I do actually have a test. He exits into the hallway. I absolutely make this one count. Ferris' hair is standing straight up. That wasn't bullshit. 11 INT. Right? He equalizes the sound a little. 12 11 . 12 INT. I'm probably going to to barf up a lung. go for ten. Through the pebbled glass of the shower door we see Ferris' outline. It's moulded into a fin with shampoo. He flips on his stereo and fills the room with the MTV broadcast. So. What's the point? I'm not European. who gives a shit if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists and it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. just lick your palms. BATHROOM.and that's worse than school. moaning and wailing. How can I be expected to handle high school? He bends down OUT OF FRAME as he loses his briefs. FERRIS It's on European socialism. SHOWER STALL. I don't plan to be European. everybody needs a day off now and then. FERRIS That I care about it was. It's a beautiful day. This If I have must FERRIS is my ninth sick day with semester. I mean. Inside the shower. He steps into the shower. He turns on the shower water. FERRIS Fake a stomach cramp and when you're doubled over. BATHROOM Ferris walks into the bathroom. It's a little stupid and childish but then so if high school.

BEDROOM Ferris tosses the towel he's dried hair with on the bed. FERRIS My uncle went to Canada to protest the war.. He opens a linen closet and tosses the towel in it. John Lennon said it on his first solo album. Uncle Jeff? In wartime you want to be a pacifist and in peacetime you want to be a soldier. So I said. FERRIS (OC) I'm not very political? Let me put that into perspective. (pause) Be careful when you deal with old hippies. A person should not believe in an "ism". in my opinion are not good. "I don't believe in Beatles. BABY. 13 INT. Or and "isms"." A good point there. LATER Ferris comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.. Just like that. "What's the deal.. 14 INT. FERRIS (sings) WELL SHAKE IT UP. "Isms". right? On the Fourth of July he was down with my aunt and he got drunk and told my Dad he felt guilty he didn't fight in Viet Nam. he was the Walrus. FERRIS Not that I condone fascism. Two weeks. He should believe in himself. TWIST AND SHOUT. FERRIS I could be the Walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off people. I just believe in me. He's drying his hair with another of a different color. It took you twenty years to find out you don't believe in anything?" (snaps his fingers) Grounded.. He opens his door. 14 13 . They can be real touchy. HALLWAY. Afterall.He turns the shower head around and uses it like a microphone. He passes CAMERA and goes into his room.

I was sleeping at his house once and I was laying on the dark worrying that his brother was going to come in and hack me to death with an ax and I heard Garth crying. FERRIS His name is Garth Volbeck. Nostalgia is her favorite drug. I'm probably his only friend. His father's dead and his sister's rumored to be a prostitute. I once watched the guy eat a whole bowl of artificial fruit just so he could see what it was like to have his stomach pumped. There's an old model of a submarine on the top of the dresser. I asked him what was wrong and he said. BEDROOM He walks across the room to his dresser. I mean. she hears memories. I wouldn't want him here. CLOSET The door opens and Ferris rifles through his shirts. She only puts out so people will hang out with her. He's in jail. which is complete bullshit. Nothing was wrong. The smoke tasted like glue. I could see them not wanting his brother here because he is a registered psycho. if I was him. I hope not. FERRIS My mother was a hippie. his mother owns a gas station. He steps back from the closet and puts it on. She got old. He picks it up. I always felt for Garth. He gets dressed as he speaks. right? Anyway. 15 16 INT. It'll probably be mine. It isn't his fault that his brother's screwed-up. I'd appreciate it.. "Nothing". He's a serious outsider. He pulls out a pair of underwear. Alot of fights with the parents on that point.. He drops the towel. If she listens to the White Album now? She doesn't hear music. He opens his underwear drawer. Not a bad guy. Mainly his older brother. 16 . . FERRIS In eighth grade a friend of mine made a bong out of one of these. Better to hold it against the guys who use her and don't care about her. There was no specific thing he was crying about.15 INT. Do unto others. (pause) My parents never allowed Garth over here. I like him. I do what I can for him. But Garth isn't his brother. He finds a shirt he likes. But she lost it. It was because of his family. It's sad but I don't hold it against her. too.

I myself have ditched and gotten so bored I did homework. Otherwise you get all nervous worrying about what to do and all you get is grief and the whole point is to take it easy.In fact. FERRIS You have to plan things out before you take the day off. HOUSE. they do feel for him but still the guy's banned from our house. He's wearing a completely different outfit. Then they realize there's nothing to do. He crosses to the pantry. STAIRCASE Ferris comes down the stairs. Figure that shit out. FERRIS That and boredom. He continues his speech as he disrobes. FERRIS One very serious danger is playing sick is that it's possible to believe your own act. KITCHEN Ferris comes into the kitchen and crosses to the refrigerator. He takes a sip out of a bottle of orange juice. FERRIS 18 17 . He looks at himself in the mirror on the back of his closet door. Gone from school. He's lost. he wasn't really even aware that he was crying. He just cried himself to sleep every night. Alot of people ditch and feel great for about an hour. TV and food. FERRIS Unfortunately. cut loose and enjoy. It was a habit. he can't sleep. Garth doesn't need his brother to give him a rep anymore. It's over for him. 18 INT. His legacy is a gas station. How could you possibly dump on guy who has to deal with that kinda shit? My parents acknowledge the trudge of the situation and I'm sure that deep down. The guy's so conditioned to grief that if he doesn't feel it. now my parents have a legit argument. He's getting one on his own. Gone from life. He doesn't like what he's wearing. 17 INT. He's eighteen.

when everybody's out of school. A prime house in a prime location. modern house on a couple of deeply wooded acres. He reaches over and picks up the telephone. A telephone rings OVER. ANOTHER HOUSE A sleek. 23 22 21 20 19 . FERRIS Some guy whose hair is falling out and his stomach's hanging over his belt and everything he eats makes him fart. FAMILY ROOM. We don't see his face. CAMERON Food. He emerges from the pantry with a handful of Oreos. you're going to wish you'd gone to school so you could be out having fun.yes... 19 INT. "This kid's young and strong and has a full..no. FERRIS He remote controls the TV on. FAMILY ROOM Ferris walks in and flops down in an armchair..shelter. Do it right.. is laying in bed. 22 EXT. And it's not always recognized. He's mumbling random words. 21 INT. PHONE He punches out a number. what's he got to bitch about?" 20 CU. Shades drawn.. Plan your day.. FERRIS That's just one reason why I need a day off every now and then. FERRIS There's alot of pressure at work in my age group. FERRIS Avoid the misery..You blow your day and at about three o'clock. he looks at someone like me and thinks. dreary sick room. CAMERON FRYE. floor strewn with used tissues. BOY'S BEDROOM It's a dark. He sets it in his lap. only a silhouette with a thermometer sticking out his mouth. 23 INT. nightstand a still-life of over the counter remedies. A high school boy. U2's SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY is playing. rich future ahead of him.

Come on over. 25 INT. FERRIS' FAMILY ROOM. I can't go anywhere. CAMERON She's not home. CAMERON (weak) Hello? FERRIS' VOICE Cameron! What's happening? CAMERON Very little. Ferris disconnects. CAMERON'S ROOM Cameron's insistant. FERRIS' VOICE How do you feel? CAMERON Shredded. Ferris. come on over and pick me up. I'm sick. FERRIS' VOICE Is your mother in the room? Cameron takes the thermometer out of his mouth. FERRIS Ferris is sprawled out in the chair. Cameron slowly hangs up the phone. FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry to hear that. CAMERON I feel like complete shit. 24 INT. FERRIS I'm taking the day off. Now.The phone rings. His hand reaches back and hits the speaker phone button. 25 24 . CAMERON I'm dying. FERRIS It's all in your head. Where are you? FERRIS' VOICE Home. CAMERON'S VOICE I can't. Get dressed and come over.

FERRIS' VOICE You're not dying. 26 INT. His roommate'll kill him. A shoe's POV.. TEACHER'S VOICE Albers? BOY'S VOICE Here. He has alot of things to sort out before he graduates. TEACHER'S VOICE Anderson. it's Cameron. I've come close myself. GIRL'S VOICE Here. You just can't think of anything good to do. It travels past a teacher's Hush Puppies and heads up an aisle of desk past dirty yellow Reebocks. scuffed heels. He's a little easier to take when you know why he's like he is. TEACHER'S VOICE Anheiser? BOY'S VOICE Here. in two weeks you'd have a diamond. pristine loafers.. FERRIS' FAMILY ROOM Ferris hangs up. rotting Air Jordans. TEACHER'S VOICE Busch? GIRL'S VOICE 27 26 . But I like him. FERRIS If anybody needs a day off. SCHOOL.The phone rings again. He can't be wound this tight and go to college. Pardon by French but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass. Cameron hits the speaker button. 27 INT. CAMERA enters a classroom. HALLWAY We hear roll call as CAMERA MOVES ACROSS the tile floor. The boy cannot relax. (after-thought) And Cameron would worry that he'd owe taxes on it.

TV Humongous reaches down and grabs a real nitrous oxide valve. FERRIS He's sitting in the arm chair pretending it's Humongous' war wagon. He's steering. CU.Here. CU. TEACHER'S VOICE Bueller? CAMERA reaches the last desk and rises slowly to reveal that it's empty. GIRL'S VOICE (cheery) No problem whatsoever. TEACHER'S VOICE (weary) Thank you. He's wearing a hockey mash. I guess it's pretty serious. INT. Simone. TV THE ROAD WARRIOR is playing on video cassette. TEACHER'S VOICE Drucker? BOY'S VOICE What? WOUND-OUT CAR ENGINES COME UP LOUD. 28 . (pause) My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass-out at 31 Flavors last night. 28 CU. He gives it a twist. CU. He reaches down and grabs an imaginary nitrous oxide valve. TEACHER'S VOICE Bueller? GIRL'S VOICE He's sick. FAMILY ROOM. TV The force of the rapid acceleration of his vehicle throws Humongous back in his seat. The big chase at the end. FERRIS He throws himself back against the chair.

FERRIS He bounces himself in the chair to simulate the bumpy high speed ride. With interest. A flowering crabtree branch. He holds up a twenty and snaps it. head thrown back. FLOWERING TREE BRANCH Outside a bedroom window.CU. you should not alientate them. Petite pink flowers. I'll pay it back. Because most likely they have cash and it's usually very easy to get your hands on. braced for collision. A pink and powder blue pig pen. FERRIS Financing my activities this way. TV IMPACT! MOZART COMES UP. CU. In times of crisis one must to what one must to. hey. how gross they act or how wicked and insensitive they can be. He comes up with a crumpled dollar bill. FERRIS He rears back in horror. But. books. records. how often they rat on you. He comes up with a five. CU. PINK FLOYD'S "MONEY" 29 . make-up. Ferris is sitting on her bed going through a purse. Very damaging to the self-image. FERRIS Arms outstretched. FERRIS Regardless of how much shit sisters make you eat. CU. FERRIS This is really degrading. I'm broke. CU. TV The was wagon hurtles down the road. CU. TV The war wagon is heading for a head-on collision with the tanker truck. 29 CU. WE PULL BACK FROM THE WINDOW INTO THE ROOM. Clothes everywhere. It's Jeanie's room.

LUCITE ENCASED PROOF SET An obvious gift from a grandparent. A hand peels the bills off the backing. 38 CU. BIRTHDAY CARD It's a child's card. 37 CU. SOFA Ferris extracts a sticky quarter from a crevice. A ten.COMES UP. A U. dirty contents of the bag are emptied on the floor. SNOOPY BANK It's being shaken furiously. Another crumpled bill surfaces. One-by-one. It's slowly opened to reveal a crisp. 40 CU. He closes the door. His face lights up as he counts out the cash. 39 INT. HALL CLOSET The door opens and Ferris thrusts his hands into the pockets of the coats. A squirt gun. KITCHEN DRAWER Hands ripping through the kitchen junk drawer. 33 CU. A screwdriver tip wedges between the two pieces of Lucite and pops them apart. A hand scoops them up. a five and a single enclosed in a lucite frame. 30 INT. 31 INT. Then a modest wad of bills.S. He comes up with a ball of Kleenex. 34 CU. the quarters are being popped out of their slots. Fingers pick a dime out of a matted wad of filth. CU. Mint proof set. hard. LIVING ROOM The song plays as Ferris digs through the sofa cushions. VACCUUM CLEANER The dusty. 32 CU. A roll of Tums. bleached singles that have gone through the wash lay on top of the washer. Locating a dollar bill. new five. 36 CU. FLOOR AND BED 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 . COIN COLLECTION The familiar blue collector's album. PARENTS' BEDROOM Ferris is going through his father's pants pockets. 35 CU. WASHING MACHINE TOP A couple of stiff.

They're also real estate agents. FERRIS' BED A shower of coins and bills rain down on the sheets. 48 EXT.Ferris' face appears between the bed and the floor. Inside are trading cards. a charred doll's head. my God. JOYCE No one's going to consider a house with a black living room. BANK It's on a work bench. JOYCE Joyce Bueller. MORNING A suburban realty company. TABLE LEG Ferris lifts the leg and removes a quarter that's been used to balance the table. Volbeck's dead set against putting any money into the house. I completely forgot to call. 47 INT. Let's be realistic. Not even those jerks from Vermont. 41 CU. 45 CU. a Zippo lighter and. 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 . The SONG ENDS. HIGH SCHOOL A modern. 43 CU. She take the call. AGENT 1 Mrs. REAL ESTATE OFFICE. A cute little building in town. Joyce's phone intercom buzzes. 42 INT. finally. JOYCE Oh. suburban high school. I'm so sorry. Across from her are two WOMEN. It pries the door open. a five dollar bill. 46 EXT. KITCHEN Ferris stands up and pockets the quarter. KITCHEN Ferris is on his hands and knees under the kitchen table. OFFICE Joyce is behind a desk. His arm reaches out for a small metal bank hidden under the bed. An awl is driven in between the door and the jamb. 44 INT. Her eyes open wide with alarm.

He removes his feet from the desk and turns in his swivel chair. DEAN ED ROONEY is sitting behind his desk. He's tough. suit and tie.MAN'S VOICE Are you aware that your son is not in school today? 49 INT. OFFICE. Bueller. DEAN'S VOICE I just had his file up. Ferris is home sick. JOYCE'S VOICE This is all news to me. He's toying with a pencil. I had a meeting first thing this morning. CU. Mrs. EDWARD R. We hear the dean inside the office. ROONEY I just has his file up. Behind him is a computer terminal. ROONEY If Ferris thinks he coast this last month and still graduate. DEAN'S VOICE Are you also aware that Ferris does not have what we consider an exemplary attendance record? 51 INT. HALLWAY It's a passing period. COMPUTER MONITOR The monitor on Rooney's desk displays Ferris' records. DEAN'S OFFICE. DESK SIGN It reads. DEAD OF STUDENTS. CU. DEAN'S OUTER OFFICE A SECRETARY is at work at her desk. I am. I should have called. 51 50 49 . he's sorely mistaken. It completely slipped my mind. JOYCE'S VOICE I don't understand. Moderately priced dress shoes. neatly combed hair. SCHOOL. CU. He's confident to the point of arrogance. ROONEY. INT. behind the sign. The hall is clogged with students. clean and straight as an I-beam. Short. SCHOOL. JOYCE'S VOICE Yes. The dean's feet are up on the desk. 50 INT.

I got a computer. ROONEY I have it right here in front of me. SPEAKER The grille cloth is throbbing. CU. He has his record up on the screen.. I can appreciate that at this time of year children are prone to taking the day off. FERRIS' ROOM Ferris is at his Macintosh computer. he's been absent nine times. OFFICE Rooney turns to the monitor. CU. How's that for being born under a bad sign? 53 INT. JOYCE I can give you every assurance that Ferris is home and that he is.ROONEY'S VOICE So far this semester alone. INT. FERRIS I wanted a car. SOLO GUITAR. 54 53 52 . 52 INT. He reads off the screen.. Including today. He looks closer at the screen. LED METERS The meters on the amplifier are totally in the danger zone. He's playing. 54 INT. I debated whether or not I should even leave him. in fact. but in Ferris' case. he's truly a very sick boy. FERRIS' BEDROOM MUSIC BLASTS. very ill. CU. JOYCE'S VOICE Nine times? Under DAYS MISSED we see a number 9 suddenly change to a number 2. He's missed. TV MONITOR We see Ferris in his room with a guitar around his neck. JOYCE'S OFFICE She's still on the phone with Rooney.

FERRIS' ROOM He's in bed on the phone. 55 INT. GIRL A whole bunch of people. I'm bricking heavily. CAMERON'S ROOM He's sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt. SCHOOL. I mean I heard he's really sick. SCHOOL. (to the phone) Did you see Alien? When the guy had the creature in his stomach? It feels like that. He sighs deeply and fall back on the bed. 58 INT. She kicks her locker shut. JEANIE Who said he's sick. GIRL No. GIRL I'm really sorry about your brother. I don't know. (point to the phone) Freshman.CU. GIRL This guy in my biology class said that if Ferris dies he's giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder? He's really sweet isn't he? She smiles and exits. VIDEO CAMERA A home video camera is capturing Ferris on tape. man. They said he's like on the verge of death. FERRIS A sample of my blood was sent to Atlanta to the Center for Disease Control. JEANIE What're you sorry for? I have to live with the trouser snake. HALLWAY Jeanie is at her locker during a passing period. Jeanie cocks her head in bewilderment. 56 INT. A GIRLFRIEND comes up to her. Jeanie stares incredulously at the girl. 57 INT. HALLWAY 58 57 56 55 .

He's really wasted. sure. I hope he doesn't die. A couple of his BUDDIES are standing at his side waiting anxiously for news. why? He hands her the phone.Yeah. no. He's getting me out of summer school. BOY You never rented the video cassette? Second boy shakes his head.. You know him? THIRD BOY (excited) Yeah. (pause) Huh?. BOY Anyway. BOY Did you see Alien? GIRL Yeah. The boy snatches a passing GIRL. Hold on. SECOND BOY (to Third Boy) Shit. I can't handle summer school.. I appreciate you letting us know how you're doing.A FRESHMAN BOY is on the pay phone. THIRD BOY (to the Second Boy) Who's he talking to? SECOND BOY Ferris Bueller. BOY Goddamn! Are you kidding? SECOND BOY What? BOY Did you see Alien? SECOND BOY No. BOY Oh. GIRL Hello? (pause) Who? (pause) . We gotta split.

richies. Rooney looks up at her with a proud smile. dweebies. Sportos. geeks. Ferris. ROONEY That's exactly why I have to catch him this time. my God! You're dying? Is it serious? (pause) Shiit! Are you upset? 59 INT. A florist's truck drives past the house. ROONEY What's so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is that he gives the good kids bad ideas. As he speaks he does a little 61 60 59 . DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's comparing his computer monitor to hard copy. ROONEY I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him! SECRETARY With your bad knee. they all adore him. How's your bod? (jaw drops) Oh. ROONEY Really? He unconsciously does an Eastwood squint. SECRETARY (impressed) Ooo. His SECRETARY is standing over his shoulder. You sounded like Dirty Harry just now. Ed. The last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. wonkers. Rooney stares at her for a long beat. FERRIS' HOUSE It's a glorious late spring day. sluts. SECRETARY He's very popular. pinheads. 61 INT.Hi. Ed. motorheads. 60 EXT. you better not throw anybody. To show these kids that the example he sets is a first class ticket to nowhere. FERRIS' ROOM He's on the telephone.

I'm serious. FERRIS' ROOM He's growing weary of Cameron's wimpishness. man. we'd be surfing. FERRIS You want to stay home and try to have the shits? Try to barf? Try to feel worse? CAMERON'S VOICE I don't have to try. CAMERON I'm sick. if you're not over here in fifteen minutes. A Modigliani nude. FERRIS Be a man. TOM'S OFFICE 65 64 63 62 . TOM'S VOICE Ferris? 65 INT. you can find a new best friend. I got another call. He sounds like he's on his last breath. 63 INT. OFFICE BUILDING. Take some Pepto Bismol and get dressed. This is bullshit. Why can't you leave me alone? FERRIS' VOICE You're not up for some good times? It's a beautiful day. 62 INT. making me wait around the house for you. DOWNTOWN A LaSalle Street office tower. I feel like shit.MacPainting on his MacIntosh. It's almost summer. You're boring me with this stuff. CAMERON'S BEDROOM Cameron's back in bed. FERRIS Cameron. The other phone line rings. FERRIS H--hell-o? 64 EXT. FERRIS Squeeze you buns for a second. He puts Cameron on hold. He clears his throat and answers the second line. If this was Hawaii.

Dad. He's just checking up on me. TOM You sound miserable. listen to me. FERRIS' ROOM He leans back from the monitor and sips a Coke. CAMERON'S VOICE Oh. He puts his father on hold. FERRIS (OC) I'm so worried about falling behind. TOM Were you sleeping? FERRIS' VOICE I was trying to do some homework. FERRIS' VOICE Really? Darn! I thought I was improving. it's sure great of you to call. COMPUTER MONITOR A closer view of the rude drawing Ferris is making. He switches back to his sick voice. Bye. Hold on. Are you alright? FERRIS Just a little phlegm on the phone. He disconnects and gets his father back. INT. the least you can do is hurry up and get over here. that's just great. So.He's behind his desk. Two windows. 66 CU. The moment before you called. But gee. Nice office. Are you busted? FERRIS It's completely cool. It was making me ill looking at it. FERRIS Sorry. pal. 66 . I had a chest spasm and I blew lung fluid all over the place. FERRIS Dad? Can you hold on a second? TOM'S VOICE Sure. Now. FERRIS Cameron? It's my Dad. I'm working on getting some heavy bucks out of him. Herman Miller desk and chair.

pal. FERRIS Give yourself some credit. CHICAGO LOOP.I'm sure there're alot of fathers who wouldn't take time out from their busy schedules to call a dumb. You're just trying to cheer me up. INT. Pedestrians stop to look. TOM'S VOICE Hey. It was a mammoth gesture. FERRIS' ROOM He turns away from the computer and puts his feet up on the desk. right? TOM'S VOICE Not any harder than anybody else. FERRIS You work so hard I'll bet you don't even remember where those bonds are. TOM'S VOICE Wrong. 68 INT. FERRIS Oh. sick teenager. what was I supposed to do? Ferris reaches out and hits a key on his computer. The screen dumps the drawing. 68 67 . Dad. It's like those savings bonds you used to give me every Christmas. He nods. FERRIS You had to work hard for the money to buy those things. CU. yeah? You're pulling my leg. 67 EXT. Ferris mouths Tom's words as he says them. (looks at CAMERA and smiles) It was that kind of concern. He lights a cigarette. right? Ferris points a finger in the air as a cue to his father. COMPUTER SCREEN A message is flashing: "TRANSMITTING DATA". FERRIS' ROOM He blows a smoke ring. DIAMONDVISION SCREEN Ferris' drawing suddenly appears on the billboard.

(to the phone. Ferris sighs. He cuts the engine.TOM'S VOICE Like hell I am. you lose some. sick voice) Dad? All this talking has made me kind of light-headed. pal. CAMERON We're gonna get caught. They're in a shoebox in my closet. normal voice) Was that a class move or what? The guy gave it up faster than a drunk Catholic girl. I'm so Twenty in his or not 69 INT. FERRIS (to CAMERA. He's gotten exactly what he wants. CAR. I'll call you after lunch. TOM'S VOICE I want to. He looks at CAMERA. bucks says he's sitting car debating about whether he should go out. (thinks) Of course. He hangs up. No doubt about it. I think I better lie down. He turns his desk chair around and gets up. CAMERON FERRIS disappointed in Cameron. CAMERON He's sitting behind the wheel of his car. Dad. I hope my kids don't pull this shit on me. I take it back. TOM'S VOICE Okay. they'd be dumb and abnormal and they'd probably never move out of my house and I'd have to support them until I die. FERRIS You don't have to. Bye now. if they didn't. Ferris smiles. 69 . FERRIS You win some. You take care.

CLASSROOM. He's the only guy I know who's deeply concerned that when he grows up there'll be a critical shortage of strategic metals. He goes into the bathroom. HALLWAY Ferris comes out of his room and heads down the hallway. He sighs and restarts the engine. The hands lift a sweater out.. A CRASH OF HORROR MUSIC. SHE'S NEVER SATISFIED. He exits the room. Ferris'll escape. He sits for half a beat. He stops the engine. We HEAR THE TOILET SEAT SLAM DOWN. 70 CU. DRESSER DRAWER Hands curl around the drawer pulls. The reason he doesn't fell good is. CAMERON Actually. (waves the magazine) Pardon moi. 72 INT. Another beat.I'm not doing it. FERRIS (sings) MAYBE I'M JUST LIKE MY MOTHER. INT. The guy is a shellfish when it comes to making a decision. ominously. Another beat. LATER 72 71 70 . FERRIS Cameron'll go on like that for a good thirty minutes. A HERALDIC STING as we see a men's magazine beneath the sweater. He leafs through the pages for the pictorials as he speaks. FERRIS' ROOM He takes out the magazine. what'll happen is I'll get caught. FERRIS Cameron's also the only guy I know who knows what strategic metals are.. 71 INT. The drawer is opened slowly. he worries about everything. CAMERON He'll keep calling until I come over.

NURSE May I see you outside for a moment? There's been an emergency. SLOANE A smile curls across her lips. dusty lecture. NURSE (nods solemnly) Dead grandmother. He nods grimly to the Nurse. 74 CU.A stunningly beautiful girl. is sitting at her desk in a history class. TEACHER AND NURSE The teacher's face drops as he's delivered an obvious piece of disturbing news. NURSE Sloane Peterson? SLOANE Sits up in her seat. 73 INT. 74 73 . like the others. INT. watches the nurse curiously. For a moment. CLASSROOM. She crosses to him and whispers in his ear. SLOANE She. As she gathers her books she looks to the GIRL next to her. SLOANE PETERSON. ROONEY He has a suspicious look on his face. She looks at the kids. the teacher thinks she's come in because she heard him sneeze. The classroom door opens and the school NURSE walks in. HALLWAY The Nurse is gently holding Sloane's hand. (sneezes) Pardon me. SLOANE (whispers) Dead grandmother. She's staring out the window as a tweedy MALE TEACHER delivers a dry. NURSE She's a picture of compassion and understanding. TEACHER Roosevelt's health had seriously deteriorated by the time he met with Churchill and Stalin at Yalta.

MAN'S VOICE Ed? This is George Peterson. I had Florence Sparrow notify Sloane. She smiles and backs out. SECRETARY Edward Rooney's office. He punches the phone button. SECRETARY Do you still want his number? Rooney answers her with an annoyed look. Rooney's phone rings. Peterson. His suspicions are confirmed. (pause) Yes. ROONEY Could you get me Mr. SECRETARY It's Mr. ROONEY How are you today. Peterson's daytime number? As the secretary starts out of the room. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's at his desk. ROONEY Who's this girl's going with? SECRETARY It's so hard to tell. She stops and answers the desk phone. Peterson said. Rooney is startled.ROONEY Dead grandmother? INT. ROONEY Ed Rooney. SECRETARY That's what Mr. . I see her alot with Ferris Bueller. sir? MAN'S VOICE We've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard. She puts the call on hold. Rooney smiles. His secretary is standing across from him. He thinks for a beat then reaches for the phone. Can you hold? Thank you.

Nervy litttle punk. 75 INT. Her jaw drops. 76 75 . Was this your mother? Rooney's other line rings. It's school policy. I'm all broken up. It's so obvious it's not Mr. She stomps her foot. He covers the phone. She's waving her arms furiously. I'm gonna set a trap and let his walk right into it! (to phone) That's right. You hear me? The secretary comes in. She puts the call on hold and hangs up. SECRETARY'S OFFICE She steps out of Rooney's office and picks up the other line. The secretary stops cold in the doorway. 76 INT. Cart the stiff in and I'll turn over your daughter. ROONEY What!? SECRETARY Ferris Bueller's on line two. You produce a corpse and I'll release Sloane. And. I want to see this dead grandmother firsthand. Huh? Oh. you don't like my policies. ROONEY (whispers) It's Ferris Bueller. I'd be happy to release Sloane. SECRETARY Ed Rooney's office. please. ROONEY I heard. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's chewing out the person on the other line. ROONEY I'll tell you want.Rooney rolls his eyes. She turns to Rooney in horror. She hurried into Rooney's office. Rooney tries to wave her away. Peterson. Rooney covers the phone. gosh. SECRETARY Hold. you can just come on down and smooch by big old ugly ass. sure. He's angry.

FERRIS Mr. 78 INT. FERRIS' HOUSE. cocks his head. CU. phoney "father" voice. ROONEY'S FACE A mask of horror. ROONEY He's staring blankly ahead. anyway? 79 78 77 . He glances at the phone. Rooney? I'm sorry to disturb you at work but I was wondering if it would be possible for my sister to bring home any assignments from my classes that I may need. 77 INT. ROONEY'S HAND The pencils falls from his fingers. CAMERON You oughta be sorry for Christ's sake! A family member dies and you insult me. He's doing a deep. CU. He speaks in the same voice he used on his father. PHONE Rooney's finger gingerly presses the button on the waiting call. PHONE The second line light is flashing. CU. twitches. FERRIS' ROOM He's zipping his pants. ROONEY'S FOOT It freezes in mid-tap. fastening his belt. KITCHEN Cameron's on the phone in the kitchen. DEAN'S OFFICE. ROONEY He blinks. CU. 79 INT. He nods. CU. sir. CU. ROONEY He winces as he returns to the first call.CU. What's the matter with you. FERRIS' VOICE Thank you. The phone's cradled against his shoulder.

DEAN'S OFFICE. CAMERON This isn't over yet. Ferris strolls into the kitchen to catch the last of the conversation. KITCHEN Cameron lays into Rooney. Peterson. that I would never deliberately insult you. Cameron covers the phone. 80 81 INT. trembling. buster. Ferris! What is Rooney guesses my voice! FERRIS Impossible. He's perspiring. You have to know. I can't begin to tell you how embarrassed I am. ROONEY I don't know.80 INT. CAMERON That's better. Do you read me? ROONEY'S VOICE Load and clear. You're doing great. CAMERON (to Ferris) I'm scared shitless. ROONEY He apologies profusely to Cameron. You just make sure my daughter's out in front of the school in ten minutes. CAMERON (clears his throat) I don't have all day to bark at you so I'll make this short and sweet. Mr. 81 . CAMERON'S VOICE Pardon my French but you're an asshole! Rooney nods enthusiastically. sir. I thought you were someone else. ROONEY Absolutely! I most certainly am. Cameron sighs and goes back to the phone. goddamn it! ROONEY'S VOICE Sir. CAMERON Call me sir.

You be out in front with her! I wanna have a few words with you! Ferris slaps Cameron. ROONEY He winces as the phone hits the floor with a loud CLONK! We HEAR THE BOYS SCRAMBLING TO PICK UP THE PHONE. He clears his throat and puts on his father's voice. CAMERON You do it! Ferris waves his arms angrily. FERRIS' KITCHEN Cameron's rubbing the side of his head. CAMERON I want my daughter out in front of the school in ten minutes. He's said the wrong thing. CAMERON'S VOICE On second thought. I don't have time to talk to you. He holds the phone out to Ferris. CAMERON What'd I do? FERRIS Out in front my herself? It's too suspicious! He'll think something's up. We HEAR A SLAP AND THE CALL DISCONNECTS.. Cameron panics. Ferris smacks Cameron. We'll get together soon and have lunch. He covers the phone. CAMERON I changed my mind. 83 82 . I don's want anyone around. By herself. 82 CU. 83 INT. moron..Ferris gives Cameron an enthusiastic thumbs up. The phone flies out of his hand. Cover it. fella. FERRIS (mouths) Great! Cameron smiles proudly. FERRIS Talk! Cameron takes a deep breath. THEN CAMERON CLEARING HIS THROAT.

being me over here. don't ask me to participate in your crap if you don't like the way I do it! Ferris is incredulous at Cameron's stupidity. FERRIS I didn't deliberately hurt your feelings. You get me out of bed. CAMERON Oh. . really? FERRIS Yeah. make me jeopardize my future. Look. you're so stupid! (aside) I didn't hit you. God. a man who could squeeze my nuts into oblivion and then you deliberately hurt my feelings. I lightly slapped you. make me do a phoney phone call on a dean of students. CAMERON You hit me. Cameron's anger is intensified by his embarrassment. really. FERRIS How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney's going to be there with her?! CAMERON I said for her to be there alone and you freaked! FERRIS My. CAMERON I was home.CAMERON Why'd you hit me?! FERRIS Where's your brain?! CAMERON Why'd you hit me?! FERRIS Where's your brain?! CAMERON Why'd you hit me? FERRIS Where's your brain? CAMERON I asked you first. sick.

Cameron stops. 84 . Cameron is frowning with trepidation and fear. dramatically as we hear a heraldic fanfare. He turns and heads out of the room. FERRIS Cameron? CAMERON Stick it up your ass. 84 INT. CU. Ferris is smiling with excitement and awe. FERRARI STALLION The prancing black stallion. FERRIS You did screw up through. We move up from the stallion to the erotic red hood of a 1958 Ferrari 250 GTS California. Light streams in to reveal Cameron and Ferris looking at the car. The end of the world is at hand. FERRIS Cameron. CAMERON You're serious? He turns around. It was uncalled for.Cameron glares at Ferris. GARAGE The door opens slowly. I'm sorry. Ferris sighs. CAMERON Thanks. CAMERON Hey. Ferris. I'm going to have to ask you for a small favor. He appreciates Ferris apology. FERRIS Dead serious. Cameron's jaw drops. I didn't mean to jam you. Ferris? Have a nice life. Right? CAMERON (suspiciously) Why? FERRIS To fix this situation. Cameron smiles. right? Not that is was necessarily all you fault. CAMERON AND FERRIS Cameron's face is ashen.

it is his love.Ferris is in heaven. FERRIS Alright. it is his passion. Look. It is joy. He just rubs it with a diaper. FERRIS A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.000. He has it tatooed on his wrist. Rooney'd never believe Mr. Ferris. Less than a hundred were made. Don't worry about it. CAMERON Ferris. FERRIS It's a piece of shit. CAMERON He never drives it. It has a market value of $265. I don't even have a piece of shit. Ferris. Cameron. FERRIS We can't pick up Sloane in your car. My father spent three years restoring it. look. We can't take is out. Peterson drives that piece of shit. He puts his arm around Cameron. . CAMERON It's not a piece of shit. CAMERON He knows the mileage. FERRIS It is his fault he didn't lock the garage. FERRIS Whatever miles we put on it. I have to envy yours. my father loves this car more than life itself. we'll take off. CAMERON (grim monotone) 1958 Ferrari 250 GTS California. FERRIS He doesn't trust you? CAMERON No. I'm sorry but there's nothing else we can do. this is real simple.

SCHOOL The Ferrari is parked out in front. no. She stops as Sloane and Rooney walk past.. FERRARI Ferris is driving.. the less likely we are to get caught. CU.. You'll have to think of something else.. I have to live with the man. the more obvious we are. 87 INT. Cameron's in the back. CAMERON That makes no sense whatsoever. I'm putting my foot down. JEANIE She comes out of a classroom. CAMERON Are you crazy?! Put the top back up! FERRIS This is perfect top-down weather. Sloane has her coat on and she's carrying her books. SCHOOL. I'm sorry but. FERRIS 87 86 85 . proud smile) We'll drive home backwards. 86 EXT. Jeanie watches her suspiciously..You're not talking me into this one. He's wearing a man's hat and sunglasses. Cameron shakes his head. CAMERON'S VOICE . Ferris. CAMERON Forget it. CAMERON What about Rooney? FERRIS Cameron.CAMERON (suspicious) How? FERRIS (big.. 85 INT. The top is down. The roar of the engine is overtaken by the sound of a crowded school hallway. FERRARI GRILLE Cameron's protests are drowned out by the distinctive roar of the twelve cylinders.

JEANIE She's watching out the door. SCHOOL Rooney's suspicious. 89 88 . 88 EXT. SLOANE Huh? ROONEY Were you close to your grandmother? SLOANE Oh. Rooney looks. 89 INT. CAMERON Howcome it's my Dad's car and I'm taking all the risk and I have to ride back here? FERRIS I don't have an explanation. SCHOOL Rooney and Sloane come out the door.The adult mind is a suspicious machine. Sloane! Dear! Sloane looks across at the Ferrari. (look around at Cameron) Stay down. Very old. THEIR POV Ferris is looking out across the roof of the Ferrari. He's careful to keep his nose and mouth below the roofline. Rooney watches her. Very. She hurries to the car. SCHOOL. Something does compute for him. DEEP VOICE Oh. ROONEY Once again let me say how deeply saddened I am by your loss. Thanks. She sees the Ferrari pull away. Um. Very hip. man. SLOANE I guess that's my Dad. FERRIS Hurry along now! EXT. Yeah. Cameron squeezes himself lower. See ya. Yeah. Sloane smiles and bids Rooney a hasty farewell. She was a terrific lady.

" CAMERON Don't tell me we're not going to take the car home. SLOANE Hi. 91 92 EXT. FERRIS It was risky. SLOANE What're we gonna do? FERRIS The question isn't "what are we gonna do". it was bold but it was totally necessary. No. STREET. SLOANE This is so great! I can't believe it! Right in front of Rooney! She laughs and turns to Cameron. FERRARI Sloane shrieks with delight. ROONEY He can't quite put his finger on what's bothering him. Cameron. 90 91 INT. 92 . You comfortable? CAMERON Hi. Please. It' s going home. SCHOOL. the question is "what aren't we going to do. She leans across the console and gives Ferris a kiss. FERRARI It accelerates away like a shot. FERRIS Either would I.90 EXT. FERRIS (to CAMERA) If you had access to a car like this would you take it back right away? Would you give up feeling like a ton just to ease your best friend's tension? He smiles. SLOANE What a fabulous car! CAMERON Enjoy it quick.

INT. TELLER I passed a kidney stone Tuesday. Cameron blanches. modern bank building. Sloane's still intoxicated with her freedom. DOORS Ferris. The clock outside read 9:53. Ferris is cocky and confident.93 EXT. In fact. should you be in school? FERRIS He lays his savings bonds on the counter. The Ferrari pulls into the parking lot. She withdraws it from the hair and smiles at it's reappearance. TELLER A WOMAN about seventy with a silver blue beehive. this is Mrs. 93 94 INT.Madonna. 94 . Ferris leads the way to an open teller window. FERRIS (to Cameron) And this is my brother-in-law. She smiles when she sees Ferris. SUBURBAN BANK A fresh. Froeling. How are you? TELLER She pats the rock-solid mass of blue hair. I'm married. Froeling. On either shoulder are Cameron and Sloane. Cameron's having stomach trouble. Mrs. It's about four inches higher the highest beehive you're ever seen. TELLER Ferris Bueller? FERRIS He's at the window.. In doing so she locates a missing ball point pen. FERRIS Hello. This is my wife. She's been at the bank since they opened. I'm as chipper as can be. BANK. (something occurs to her) Say. so I'm a little pooped but other than that. Ferris smiles. Cameron and Sloane walk in. Froeling. ZZ. ZZ Top. As she moves the beehive hits a small sign over her head. Mrs.. Sloane suppresses a laugh. BANK. FERRIS Me? (polite laugh) I'm out of school.

Cameron isn't amused. TELLER (to Cameron) Is Top a Slavic name? CAMERON Yeah. FERRIS I'd like to cash these in, please. We're having a baby and we need the cash for a crib, clothes, diapers, food pellets, leash, water dish... INT. BANK. TELLER WINDOW Mrs. Froeling takes the bonds with a hearty smile. The latter part of the conversation sails over her like a line drive. TELLER A baby! (to Sloane) You must be so excited. Cameron groans and turns away from the sham. SLOANE I'm thrilled, ma'am. I'm especially looking forward to wearing those jeans with the stretch panel in front. Mrs. Froeling thumbs through the bonds. TELLER Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? SLOANE Actually, we're hoping for a car. CU. CAMERON He's spooked by the games playing. He scans the bank nervously. He blinks, focuses, blinks again. HIS POV Joyce is with a MIDDLE-AGED COUPLE and their bored, sour-puss teenage son, BOYD. He's sitting in a chair with his legs slung over the sides waving a Bic lighter back and forth across his rump. The parents are Joyce's clients from Vermont. A LOAN OFFICER is discussing the local financing situation with them. His is an open office adjacent to the teller windows. Joyce's back is to the tellers. CU. CAMERON

It's like he's just witnesses an ax murder. CAMERON Shit... INT. BANK. JOYCE Her back is to the teller windows. She's conducting her meeting. Behind her we see Cameron grab Ferris and point her out to him. He waves. Cameron slaps his arm. INT. BANK. TELLER WINDOW Mrs. Froeling shows Ferris the savings bonds. TELLER These bonds aren't mature. If you hold onto them another two years you'll get an additional four dollars... FERRIS I'm aware of that. TELLER You're throwing away four dollars. FERRIS No, ma'am, I'm giving it to the government. They need it. Do you know what an aircraft carrier's going for these days? INT. BANK. JOYCE She concludes her meeting. She shakes hands with the loan officer and stands. The Vermont Couple stands. Boyd scrapes the bottom of his shoe on the desk, leaving a glob of mud behind and he stands. Joyce turns into the bank. Ferris, Cameron and Sloane are gone. She escorts her customers out. INT. BANK. DOOR Joyce and the Vermont Couple approach the doors. Boyd lays a luggie in the drinking fountain. Mrs. Froeling passes with the savings bonds. She stops when she sees Joyce. JOYCE Mrs. Froeling, how are you? MRS. FROELING I passed a kidney stone Tuesday. (shifts gears, to Joyce) Say, you must be very proud. Joyce doesn't know what she's talking about. MRS. FROELING (whispers) I met Madonna. She pats Joyce on the arm.

MRS. FROELING She told me everything. Keep me posted, I'll want to send a gift. She toodles on her way. Joyce and the Vermont Couple are completely baffled. 95 EXT. BANK Joyce and the Vermont Couple walk along the side of the bank, heading for the parking lot. Boyd's tagging along behind. He picks up a stone and hurls it into the parking lot. JOYCE My son's home sick today. If you wouldn't mind, on our way back to the office, I'd like to just run in and check up on him. We HEAR A METALLIC PING! as Boyd's missle hits a car. MOTHER Of course. They pass a show window. As they pass, we hold on the window. It's promoting saving for college educations. A mannequin father is congratulating his mannequin son in a mortar and gown as a stiff Sloane, Ferris and Cameron look on proudly. 96 INT. DEAN'S OFFICE His secretary is dialing a number for him. SECRETARY This is the Peterson's home. She hands the phone to Rooney. SECRETARY Watch your mouth this time. Rooney glares at her. ROONEY Ferris Bueller's behind this. There's no doubt in my mind. That's what I was saying this morning. Why he has to be stopped. He's got Sloane Peterson involved in this thing now. See? The secretary nods. SECRETARY And her grandmother, too. 97 CU. PHONE ANSWER MACHINE It clicks on. We hear a grieved woman's voice. It sounds an 97 96 95

She's not listening to him. 99 EXT. the Hancock Building and the Standard Oil Building. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney hangs up the phone. ROONEY What? SECRETARY My brother-in-law rides the train to work. We hear Cameron's voice. goddamn it. 100 INT. SECRETARY There's a railroad strike. Rooney looks at her. CAMERON'S HOUSE His answering machine clicks on. If you need to reach us we'll be at the following number. ROONEY Who gives a good goddamn? 101 EXT.awful lot like Sloane. SLOANE We can't come to the phone right now.. We've had a death in the family.. We are unable to come to the phone right now but if you'll leave your name and number. 98 INT. The secretary's looking at a newspaper on Rooney's desk. Rooney stares at her like she's crazy. puzzled. EDENS EXPRESSWAY The major thoroughfare into the city of Chicago from the suburbs. In the distance we see the Sears Tower. ROONEY And I'm going to stop it! SECRETARY My brother-in-law'll appreciate it. CAMERON'S VOICE You have reached the Coughlin Bros. 101 100 99 98 ... Mortuary. ROONEY Something's going on. The Ferrari streaks past. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney quickly takes down a number.

PARKING GARAGE The Ferrari pulls into a large parking garage.. 103 EXT. scratched. FERRIS 103 . wrecked. CAMERON We can't leave the car here! FERRIS Why not? CAMERON Because we can't! I want it back home where it belongs! SLOANE What could happen to it? CAMERON It could get stolen. KID Yo. KID Heartless wench.102 INT. GARAGE Ferris. SCHOOL. babe! Some day you might need a favor from Ferris Bueller! Then where'll you be?! He reaches for the can. you name it. Cameron's having fits. Jeanie stares at him.. Sloane and Cameron get out. KID Hey. CHICAGO LOOP. EXT. We're collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney.. HALLWAY Jeanie's walking down the hall. KID They run about fifty g's so it you could help out. JEANIE Go piss up a flagpole! KID Huh? 102 She knocks the can out of his hands and storms down the hall. She's flabbergasted at the proportions her brother's scan has reached.. The kid yells after her. She's stopped by a KID with a Coke can.

FERRIS You speak English? ATTENDANT Since I was three. I want to you take extra special care of this vehicle. sure. PARKING ATTENDANT He smiles with relish at the car. 240. Another attendant jumps in the passenger side. FERRIS See what a finski can do to a person's attitude? He's going to treat it like a beautiful woman. SLOANE This is so right! Ferris nudges Cameron on. very carefully. The Attendant very gingerly gets into the car. 6'6". please.I'll give the guy a five to watch it. Ferris turns to Cameron. Earring. FERRIS Great. Goatee. okay? He pats the Attendant on the arm. FERRIS I appreciate it. ATTENDANT Like it's a beautiful woman. He smiles. SLOANE Oh. CAMERON Yeah. EXT. Do you have to be so graphic? She heads down the street. They exit the garage and head after Sloane. The Ferrari pulls into the lot very slowly. A long beat and the Ferrari creeps down the exit ramp of the garage. . It's gone in the entrance and out the exit. no revving engine. An IQ that equals his hourly wage. CAMERON What guy? CU. Shoulder-length hair stuffed into a hairnet Gold teeth. Whip it with a stick and piss on the hood. Ferris slips him a give. No squealing tires. Cameron. PARKING LOT The Attendant swaggers over to the car.

109 INT. 107 INT. JOYCE She smiles and closes the door. 109 108 107 106 105 . FERRIS' ROOM It's dark. We hear soft snoring. It's taut.He's skinny. Downstairs. She listens at the door. The wire from the bedroom door is strung over the top of the closet door. As the bedroom door closes. FERRIS' SYNTHESIZER Little LED's are lighting up to the rhythm of the snoring. DOOR KNOB The wire is tied to the doorknob. She gets out and heads up the house. INT. A trophy is attached to the end of the wire and it's resting on a yard stick. He lets out a spirited laugh and the Ferrari peels out of the lot. 104 EXT. we hear a door open and close. HER POV The door opens and the figure-like lump in the bed moves. HALLWAY Joyce comes up the stairs and crosses to Ferris' room. ROOM. HOUSE. FERRIS' HOUSE 104 Joyce's care pulls in the driveway. It heads down the street away from Sloane. 106 INT. ROOM. tall. WE HEAR THE SNORING. STAIRWAY Joyce quietly walks up the stairs. DOORKNOB Joyce slowly turns the doorknob and pushes the door open a crack. HOUSE. with a huge knit hat willed with dreads. CU. 105 INT. She's smiles with relief and affection. the trophy lifts up off the yardstick and the lump in the bed goes back down to it's original position. CU. CU. A wire runs from under the bed covers to the closet door to the door to the room itself. There's a figure in the bed. The snoring it simulated. HALLWAY Joyce listens at the door another beat. CLOSET The closet door is open. Ferris and Cameron. 108 INT.

INT.. LATER 110 HELICOPTER SHOT moves in on the world's tallest building. shit! HER POV The street far. From our vantage point here on the 103 floor. lean against the glass. He leans forward. Like this. A dizzying view. Ferris. Ferris steps back. Sloane leans forward. CAMERON I don't feel good. As it passes we see three figures pressed against the windows. Sloane and Cameron follow suit.110 EXT. FERRIS (VO) This is the world's tallest building. SLOANE 111 . FERRIS And look down. SEARS TOWER. Are we gonna stay long? FERRIS Take a step back. Cameron and Sloane are standing against the window. FERRIS Now.. SLOANE What if the glass gives? FERRIS Death. reluctantly. SLOANE Oh. Michigan. we are provided with a view of four states. 111 INT. Wisconsin and my personal favorite. SEARS TOWER OBSERVATION DECK Ferris. far below. Indiana. OBSERVATION DECK The three are leaning against the glass.. CAMERON (VO) Do you think the car's alright? FERRIS (VO) Illinois.. Cameron follows. putting all his weight on his forehead.

He's lean. Cameron politely waits his turn to exit. CAMERON I think I see my Dad. Cameron follows. He's wearing a puzzled look on his face.Cool. HIS POV The Ferrari screams down the avenue and disappears down the underground ramp. 117 116 115 114 113 112 . CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE Giant old monolith. CAMERON'S FATHER I think I see my car. CAMERON He's looking down. 117 INT. 116 INT. tough and humorless. They dance past the giant Calder mobile. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE. 113 INT. SEARS TOWER LOBBY Ferris and Sloane bound down the escalator. FERRIS AND SLOANE I BEEN ALL 'ROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AND I'VE SEEN ALL KINDS OF GIRLS YEAH. They're singing. CU. is standing on the street corner. Cameron's father. STREET LEVEL A middle-aged man. Cameron follows glumly. HORACE FRYE. clean. BUT I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET BACK IN THE STATES BACK TO THE CUTEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA 114 EXT. Ferris and Sloane head down the street. STREET Ferris and Sloane burst out the doors garnering the annoyed stares of the business people busily going in and out of the building. GALLERY Ferris. Cameron and Sloane are sitting in the gallery watching the proceedings. FERRIS AND SLOANE I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLS! 115 EXT. 112 EXT. TRADING ROOM Traders are frantically buying and selling commodities.

SLOANE No way! . FERRIS Would I risk damaging a deep and wonderfully enriching relationship with my parents if I didn't love you? SLOANE Yes. Is he serious. FERRIS I'm game. FERRIS True. FERRIS (serious) Today? Sloane stares at him. You? SLOANE Yes. FERRIS Would I have introduced you as my wife if I didn't love you? SLOANE Wait a minute. Ferris puts his arm around Sloane. FERRIS Yes.SLOANE Do you love me? FERRIS Do you love me? SLOANE I asked you first. That was a lie. FERRIS Would you want to get married? I mean if I wasn't an asshole. SLOANE Sure. FERRIS Would I trash a day of education to be with you if I didn't love you? SLOANE Yes.

CAMERON I'm with you.FERRIS I'll do it. FERRIS So? CAMERON So. babe. CAMERON You need a blood test. FERRIS Besides being too young and your father hating my guts and not having any place to live and feeling awkward about being the only cheerleader with a husband. CAMERON I'll give you two. (to Ferris) You've seen them. Ferris looks around at him. My mother and father. CAMERON They're married and they hate each other. you could produce a pinhead. give me a good reason why not. you can't get married today. SLOANE I'm not getting married. FERRIS Why not? SLOANE What do you mean. FERRIS Huh? CAMERON If your blood's not compatible. if you will. The state requires a blood test. why not? Think about it. Cameron suddenly adds his two cents. FERRIS Tomorrow? CAMERON If you get a blood test today. Am I right? . Ferris and Sloane look at him curiously.

Are yours divorced? CAMERON They may as well be. but so what? They're old. We all thought so.FERRIS You're father's a toad and your Mom's always wired out. Are you comfortable with it? SLOANE No.. SLOANE Do they like you? It hasn't occured to Cameron that his parents might not like him. He dropped us like a rock. That's natural. I thought so. Sure. He hates his wife. Then BLAM! It's over. CAMERON Just because it happens doesn't make it right.my father canned me and my brother and my Mom for a twenty five year old dipso with fake tits. SLOANE Consider this. He shrugs. It's like the car. I've tried. SLOANE My parents are divorced. Everything was cool at our house. FERRIS (to CAMERA) This is all news to me. CAMERON It makes me puke. SLOANE Do you think they're staying together because of you? Cameron hasn't seen it that way. She keeps a pretty good secret. When I have a kid. That parental love might not be a given. He loves the car. So what? It's not like it doesn't happen ten thousand times a day. SLOANE (to Cameron) It was pure selfishness. It's not something I can get comfortable with. Seeing people treat each other like that. I don't care how much I want . CAMERON Yeah..

thank you. CAMERON So. you know what? It ain't up to you. It's out of your hands. Adults think it's cute. But I'm gonna try not to. FERRIS Frightening choice of words. FERRIS This is optomism. She's taken. When you split from them. crusty old shits wish they had some. She's saying it's time for lunch. SLOANE Well. forget it. . It's a common trait with my age group. SLOANE Yeah. you're saying I should run away? FERRIS No. CAMERON I'd rather not have my family break apart. I'm gonna try to prevent it. if it's gonna screw-up the kid. deep down. I'm gonna think about it. CAMERON You could change. I in other words. it's like a charming quick that infests youth.something. SLOANE What? FERRIS Let's go feed Cameron. But it's a cool thing and I think. you call the shots. I should just sit back and watch it crumble? SLOANE You're merely an inhabitant in their universe. CAMERON So. They wish they had her. (points to Sloane) Sorry. FERRIS (to CAMERA) She's not lying. SLOANE They call the shots. too.

RESTAURANT The maitre'd returns... It's noon. I'm very busy right now. INT. The maitre'd looks at Ferris curiously. Ferris is looking at the maitre 'd's reservations book. If you have trouble finding the door. 120 119 . MAITRE'D (to Ferris) May I help you? FERRIS Yes.. RESTAURANT A French restaurant on the Gold Coast. I'm Abe Frohman. He yells at the top of his voice. He cups his hands to his mouth. MAITRE'D (chuckles) I'm sorry. 120 INT. Sloane tugs Ferris' sleeve. 119 EXT. FERRIS BUY! And he exits. He ignores her. RESTAURANT Ferris. Sloane and Cameron are standing in the restaurant. son. Party of three for 12:00. HIS POV His fingers runs down to a party of three for 12:00. FERRIS Is there a problem? MAITRE'D You're Abe Frohman? FERRIS I'm Abe Frohman. 118 INT. TRADING FLOOR 118 It explodes with activity in response to Ferris' shout. Ferris hangs back a moment. ANNOUNCER Commodity prices rose sharply today in unusually heavy trading. We HEAR A RADIO ANNOUNCER. Cool and casual..They stand up and head out. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE.

RESTAURANT The maitre'd motions for the phone so that he can answer the call. Sloane grits her teeth. (grabs the phone) .. INT. A beat and the restaurant's second line lights up and the phone rings. CU. Find it. Cameron chokes. MAITRE'D I appreciate your understanding.. We're gonna get busted. INT.. please? SLOANE Cameron's right. CAMERON Ferris. Better yet. The maitre'd backs off. let's split. PHONE Ferris punches out a number.. Sloane and Cameron are seated in the restaurant.Abe.. He hands the phone to Sloane.. (to the Maitre'd) Call the police. FERRIS Not a chance in the world. FERRIS You touch me and I yell "rat!" There's another phone around here. Go ahead. LATER Ferris. Ferris waves him off angrily.FERRIS Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am? MAITRE'D Shall I call the police? CAMERON Let's go. . FERRIS Ask for Abe Frohman. FERRIS I'm not going anywhere. RESTAURANT. The maitre'd is hovering over Ferris.I'll call myself. The maitre'd smiles smuggly.

FERRIS And you thought we wouldn't have any fun. She's talking to a FRIEND. The straps rip off in her hand. today I'm the hammer. FERRIS Cameron. he does whatever he wants. vicious) I'm gonna bust his buns. FERRIS Darling. Ferris smiles. whenever he wants and he never gets nailed. Charles. SLOANE Oh. FERRIS Thank you. JEANIE (mean. JEANIE (VO) Ferris Bueller's days are numbered. Shame on you. you were wonderful. GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM Jeanie's sitting on a bench in a field hockey uniform. 122 121 . FRIEND Why? What's the point? JEANIE Why? Because I'm sick of the little dope. He manipulates my parents. Sloane is impressed. SCHOOL We HEAR HALLWAY SOUNDS AND JEANIE.FERRIS Don't grovel. Just leave us to our repast and all will be forgotten. MAITRE'D Enjoy your luncheon. 122 INT. The maitre'd backs away. She yanks angrily on the velcro strap on her sneakers. Ferris disappears behind his menu. but I had a wonderful teacher. dear friend? Cameron looks to Ferris. (wicked pause) Well. babe. 121 EXT. Cameron is flushed with nerves.

I'm friendly and fair to all kinds of people. Jeanie freezes with her next sentence pinned to her tongue. Ferris is not cute. I get pissed off and this is what happens! Jeanie tosses the straps on the floor. Just forget it. decent person should be and you know what? FRIEND Everybody thinks you're an asshole. I'm polite. JEANIE Forget that everybody thinks I'm an . He's an ignorant mule and the sooner everybody in this school comes to that realization the better off we'll all be. I study hard. I'm considerate. Except morons. She displays the velcro straps to her friend. JEANIE Rachel? Jeanie's friend shrugs. He's not nice. JEANIE See? My brother strokes you. it's an established fact that you have no taste. wags her head. does everything but verbally confirm. JEANIE Excuse me? FRIEND I don't think you're an asshole. JEANIE Who does? Her friend smiles sheepishly. JEANIE Let me tell you something. JEANIE Rachel's a dirt bag. you sympathize with him. Who else? FRIEND I don't know. He's not charming. JEANIE Sweetie. I work hard. I try to be everything a good. He's not a wonderful person.FRIEND I think he's cute.

FRIEND You really do have a problem.. Jeanie. JEANIE Alright.O. Her friend exits. Mr. JEANIE Would everybody be happier if maybe I were to die in a flaming car accident or something? FRIEND Maybe if you didn't cat like and asshole. Rooney likes you. I have my period! MY BODY'S RIDDING ITSELF OF OLD EGGS. JEANIE Am I acting like an asshole? FRIEND I didn't mean it that way. likes me. GODDAMN IT! . FRIEND Take a walk. JEANIE Me? I have a problem? FRIEND Somebody who threatens to sock people's tits has a problem. JEANIE Oh. JEANIE I this a conspiracy to shit all over me or something? Is my brother behind this? Tell me if he is or I'll sock your tits. That's exciting. How about if I sock your face? Jeanie's friend gets up.asshole? Would you like everybody to think you're an asshole? FRIEND Not everybody thinks you're an asshole.. hey. JEANIE (yells after her) If it means anything to you. Jeanie. Jeanie shakes her head in disbelief. A fat fifty year old clod with B.

the family's pretty cool. His parents fight all the time. He exists the men's room. (continues) I used to think that my family was the only one that had weirdness in it. Basically. He gets so wadded-up. We hold a beat. FERRIS Cameron's home life is really shit. Then I met Cameron and I saw how his family functioned. Cameron tightens up. FERRIS She's a person who views life as an ordeal that must be endured. Is there anything worse than being at somebody's house when their parents are fighting? It's the absolute height of social discomfort. I don't know where she gets this shit. A toilet flushes. The thing with taking his old man's car? It's good for him. It's scary. That's why he's sick all the time. What he said about his parents hating each other? I refuse to sleep over at his house. It teaches him to deal with his fear. He crosses to 123 . FERRIS When they go after each other. 123 INT. FERRIS I wonder if everybody shoots at cigarette butts in urinals? Probably not many women. He wasn't lying. He looks down at the urinal.She snarls and slumps against the lockers. I highly recommend picking one up. CHEZ PAUL Ferris is standing at the urinal. Another beat and Tom walks out of the stall. He zips this trousers and steps away from the urinal. you couldn't pry his buns apart with a crowbar. Even when I'm there. MEN'S ROOM. JEANIE He's gone. It really upsets him. Plus. It used to worry me. I love driving it. Her body is a transport vehicle for her anger. He checks his hair in the mirror. He's over. and I must be honest here. He's monkey meat.

FERRIS Yo. FERRIS Splendid. He takes a bite. CAMERON What is it? SLOANE I don't know. He savors the taste. Ferris stops him. Ferris slides over to the table and drops into his seat. FERRIS I think it's a land-based beefoid creature. FERRIS Good? Sloane and Cameron shrug. CAMERON Really? FERRIS Superb. Clouseau! The waiter stops and looks at Ferris indignantly. They chew tentatively. CAMERON I knew it was a mistake letting Ferris order for us. CAMERON What is this shit? FERRIS You got me. Cameron and Sloane try theirs. He puts his napkin in his lap and smells his plate. FERRIS What are you doing? Cameron looks at Ferris. They're staring at the plates. I don't speak French. But it looks like it's already been eaten and digested. 124 . It's not bad.the sink. RESTAURANT Cameron and Sloane have been served their lunches. 124 INT. A WAITER passes.

FERRIS He watches Sloane and Cameron then glances at the waiter. They're holding their sweetbreads in their mouths. And what might that be? WAITER Pancreas. please! 125 EXT. Could you tell me what we ordered here? The waiter glances at the plates. SLOANE AND CAMERON They stop chewing. He looks to Cameron and Sloane. huh. FERRIS He pats his mouth with his napkin. holds it a beat and gives a cue. CU. CU. CU. A 125 . He raises a finger.FERRIS I have a growth on my brain that causes memory lapses.That secretes a thick. FERRIS As in the gland that has important functions in digestion and metabolism? CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON They look at each other. WAITER He nods broadly. WAITER He turns away as Sloane and Cameron spit out their food.. FERRIS Uh. FERRIS . CU.. FERRIS He continues his questioning. RESTAURANT Tom and his two GUESTS are standing at the curb. FERRIS Check. WAITER Sweetbreads. CU. knowing that he's spoiling the kids' meal. talking. colorless fluid containing digestive enzymes? The home of the world famous isles of Langerhans? CU.

RESTAURANT Tom and his guests watch in bewilderment at their cab takes off. 126 EXT. Sloane. MUSEUM. Let's go. CAMERON They turns on cue at Tom. 127 126 . FLOOR A class of kids walking along holding hands. DISPLAY CASE Baby chicks are hatching in a huge. Sloane and Cameron come out of the restaurant. MUSIC COMES UP. Ferris.G. Ferris scoots Sloane into the cab. The bold survive. They approach the cab. In the B. MUSEUM OR SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY The grand old Chicago museum.cab is waiting. Ferris stops cold. now in the B. holding hands looking like giant grade schoolers. CAB DOOR HANDLE A man's hand reaches for the handle as the cab pulls away.000 restaurants in the downtown area and I pick the one my father goes to.. round incubator. CU. FERRIS 40. Among the second graders are Ferris. FERRIS. Sloane and Cameron turn slowly. EXT. Behind the backs of the men. Sloane and Cameron slowly approach the cab. INT. EXT. CAB Tom and his party are still jawing at curbside. 127 INT. INT. for sure. turns toward the restaurant. Tom's back it to Ferris. Only the meek get nabbed. FERRIS No way.G. He turns to the cab. Cameron dashes in. MUSEUM. CAB Ferris slams the door. SLOANE. INT. CAMERON We're gonna get nabbed. MUSEUM. The Ferris hops the cab. STREET. The door's open. OVERHEAD SHOT The main gallery is crowded with school kids. Cameron. Sloane and Cameron. Ferris.

walk-thru replica of a human heart. we're traveling down one of American's most scenic polluted waterways and you have to bring up nuclear war? SLOANE (VO) 128 . INT. CU. A tiny human being in a jar. INT. CU. CAMERON Sloane wants to cry. SLOANE. Ferris and Sloane are making out. Ferris is lost in thought.Ferris and Cameron are intently watching the process. GERMAN U-BOAT Ferris is examining the controls of the captured U-Boat. The MUSIC ENDS. INT. HEART REPLICA A giant. MUSEUM. LONG. PROPELLER For the first time in forty years. FERRIS. green swath of water. He checks to see if he's being watched then he presses a button and pulls a lever. CU. SLOANE (remorsefully) I wonder if he has a name? FERRIS (blank) Ninth Month. CAMERON (VO) Are you guys worried about nuclear war? FERRIS (VO) Cameron. A boat is rolling up the man-made canyon. clutching his heart. looking down the fetid. CHICAGO RIVER. INDUSTRIAL DISPLAY Sloane operates a metal press to produce a tin ashtray. the screw turns. HIGH SHOT From the Merchandise Mart. it's a beautiful day. COAL MINE Sloane. Ferris staggers out of it. The ninth month. we've won our freedom. 128 EXT. HUMAN FETUS IN A BOTTLE The famous stages of life display which features bottled fetuses. Cameron's stomach is in his throat. feigning a massive heart attack. MUSEUM. MUSEUM. INT. Ferris and Cameron ride in the coal train in the coal mine replica.

Cam. have some major problem that puts all their little bullshit into some kind of persepective? CAMERON (VO) Maybe. EXT.No. it's real cold and the skiing's for shit. That's over and people have to have their big issue. . FERRIS He's full of shit. CAMERON (VO) (dramatic. The possiblity of global destruction. CAMERON (VO) Regardless. They used to have the oil crisis stuff and Iran. SLOANE My step-father's always going off about how when he was young he was committed to all these causes. Everybody's dead. It's with us every day. SLOANE (VO) Don't you think it's an issue because people need something to worry about? They have to like. you know. Their feet are up on the railing. Discussing the end of the world. FERRIS They used to have Viet Nam. We do know. however. I'm not worried about it at all. that college starts in the fall. deadly serious) Do you know what a nuclear winter is? Long beat. very relaxed. SLOANE (VO) To answer your question. SLOANE (VO) Yeah. All the old hippies are full of shit.It is kind of raggy subject.. The boat makes the turn in the river and CLEARS FRAME.. Very casual. It's not like somebody came up with the nuclear holocaust yesterday at noon. FERRIS (VO) We don't know when the bombs going off. BOAT DOCK The three are sitting on the aft deck of the tour boat.

CAMERON What's spooky is they still control everything. FERRIS. FERRIS One of the most frightening experiences of my young life has been observing my parents and our neighbors playing the Baby Boom Edition of Trivial Pursuits. this is all very interesting but I'm starving. They took over when they were young and they never gave it up. FERRIS What's he care about now? SLOANE Baldness. A loud speaker on the boat identifies a point of interest.. An obtuse thought flashes through Sloane's brain. fatty meats and money. It's chilling to see people crazed with the minutia of their past. SLOANE Agreed. CAMERON I feel better now. SLOANE. CAMERON It's human nature to like what you had better than what you have. FERRIS An hour ago you wanted to yack. LOUDSPEAKER TO YOUR LEFT IT THE WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING. .. FERRIS I rest my case. FERRIS Lean over and grab a fish. LOUDSPEAKER. CAMERON You know.SLOANE He says I don't care about things like he did. CAMERON The Sears Tower. Cameron looks over the side of the boat. The three look to the left.

. Who's bothering you now? Jeanie scowls at her. His cavalier attitude will get him into trouble later in life.. 131 INT. 130 INT. He left the grounds on personal business. STREET. Move up to reveal Rooney standing at the door of his bile-green LeBaron. he's out.SLOANE What comes after a nuclear winter? FERRIS Nuclear spring. 129 EXT. Can I help you? JEANIE (condescending) I seriously doubt it. In his mind he is Dirty Harry. Slide across to the sidewalk. CURB 132 131 130 129 A car tire rolls into FRAME and stops.. DEAN'S OUTER OFFICE Rooney's secretary is behind her desk. 132 EXT. Rooney peels off his shades and looks around like he's Dirty Harry. JEANIE It's reprehensible to squeal on your own flesh and blood.and it'll continue to piss me off and I'll get so wadded-up that it'll cause cervex cancer and he'll ruin my life. Rooney's dress shoe steps out onto the pavement. CU. She slips into the Dean's outer office. JEANIE Is Dean Rooney in? SECRETARY I'm sorry.but it's for his own good. SCHOOL Meanwhile. Jeanie.. SECRETARY Hello. CU. HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE DEAN'S OFFICE Jeanie is having a small moral debate with herself. FIRE HYDRANT . Screw him. The secretary looks up and greets her with a weary smile... When's he back? SECRETARY I don't know. Jeanie walks in.

The player turns around. ROONEY He squints CU. HOT DOG STAND It's jammed with construction workers. CU. CU. It's loud and confusing. Rooney pushes his way in and scopes the crowd. She raises it. CU. 133 INT. EXT.Rooney's dres shoe on the hydrant. He can't think of anything to say. HIS POV A young person is playing a video game in a far corner. ROONEY (OC) Your ass is mine. GIRL Holding the straw in the mouth. suburban businessmen. It's a GIRL. CU. GIRL 133 . ROONEY He's still staring. It look sort of like Ferris. ROONEY The blood evacuates his face. He smiles and cuts into the crowd. CU. ROONEY He suspects it's Ferris. She picks up her Coke. He ties his lace and pulls up his sock. GIRL She stares at him. THE BACK OF THE VIDEO PLAYER'S HEAD MOVE IN on the player. CU. The player looks up. secretaries. She puts the straw to her lips and sucks. CU. ROONEY (OC) I've been waiting a long time for this. He stares at the girl. pointing it directly in Rooney's face. STREET Rooney straightens his tie and jacket and slips into a rowdy hot dog joint. she draws it out of the cup.

The TV camera zooms in on the boy triumphantly holding the foul ball aloft. There's a long foul ball. SERVICE COUNTER Rooney wipes his face. NAPKIN HOLDER A hand yanks a napkin hold. HOT DOG STAND. The TV camera follows the ball into the stands. Rooney wads up the napkin and tosses it in a trashbin. On either side of him are Cameron and Sloane. FERRIS I think I broke my thumb. puts his hands behind his head and turns his face to the bright sun.She blows a strawful of Coke in Rooney's face. Rooney glances at the screen. Ferris leans back. Rooney nods and exits. He shakes his stinging paw. Rooney wipes his suit off. SLOANE No wonder you're always sick. ROONEY Who's winning? HOT DOG MAN Cubs. A kid makes a stab at the ball. The TV camera returns to the game. WRIGLEY FIELD. He does a little celebration dance. what's left to do? Cameron offers his nachos to Sloane. ROONEY What's the score? HOT DOG MAN Zero to zero. CU. you broke your thumb. INT. 134 EXT. It's Ferris. Cameron's scarfing nachos. 134 . SLOANE You got a call. STANDS Ferris sits down with the baseball. Behind him is the kitchen and a grease-covered TV set broadcasting a Cubs baseball game. She looks at them with disgust. SLOANE Can we leave now? FERRIS You want to leave? We just got here.

EXT. "DANKE SHOEN". 136 INT.. He and half a dozen homely German-American Beauty Queens. buddy. STATE STREET. drum and bugle corps. CAMERON It's hard not to. I'm gonna get you. SLOANE Do you believe in reincarnation? CAMERON Huh? . FIAT Jeanie's at the wheel. Cameron mumbles a few words. He's leading the girls in singing. Selfish little moron.water. Figure skating club in outfits and skates performing their routines on pavement. CAMERON Stop.FERRIS Do you realize that if I played by the rules.. Floats and politicians. It's GERMAN-AMERICAN APPRECIATION DAY.. She puts the car in gear and drives out of the shot. EXT.. (pause) Ferris? You're overshadowed me long enough. HIGH SCHOOL. SLOANE I love him. They wave to him. SLOANE AND CAMERON They're watching Ferris go by. he has to admire Ferris for his lack of inhabitions. He's waving to the crowd. school kids. STATE STREET..want. 137 EXT. STATE STREET 137 136 135 A parade is underway. As worried as he is about the day and getting caught. FLOAT Riding atop on a float is Ferris. JEANIE I can't believe my brother's making me put myself in a position where I could get expelled. A blue Fiat pulls into the shot. right now I'd be in gym? 135 EXT.. She sneaks a glance at the school. Cameron breaks a smile. PLAYING FIELD A boy's gym class is doing laps. Marching bands. soldiers.

SLOANE I think if he was anybody. dude! EXT. SLOANE I could see him ignoring popular belief and taking off on some impossible mission. SLOANE DO you ever wonder what you were? CAMERON I don't have to wonder. he was Magellan. The guy who rode the elephants into Switzerland. Sloane looks at him with amazement. I know. FERRIS Guten tag. They step out of the crowd and head down the street in the direction the parade's heading. CAMERON Hannibal. reaching down from the float. Sort of. EXT. Sloane laughs at herself. STATE STREET. SLOANE From the A-Team? CAMERON No. . shaking hands with people in the crowd. You know. the guy who went around the world. CAMERON I was a tractor tire. Cameron nods. CAMERON What were you in a previous life? SLOANE I'm not sure but I think I know who Ferris was. FLOAT Ferris is on his knees. STATE STREET Sloane and Cameron continue their conversation.SLOANE Do you believe that you lived before? CAMERON Yeah.

CAMERON That's a pretty grim thought. BABY ON! COME ON AND WORK IT ON OUT! GIRLS WORK IT ON OUT! EXT. the future. BABY. SLOANE College. SLOANE The future's worse for a boy. COME ON. everything works for him. The girls on the float are singing. School. NOW! GIRLS SHAKE IT UP.CAMERON Yeah. but to do what? . There's nothing he can't handle. EXT. FLOAT Ferris is playing "TWIST AND SHOUT" on the accordian. STATE STREET. I can't handle anything. CAMERON I don't know what I'm gonna do. FERRIS WELL. parents. CAMERON Yeah. SLOANE AND CAMERON They continue their conversation. SLOANE A girl can always bail out and have a baby and get some guy to support her. Ferris can do anything. No options is worse. isn't it? Cameron doesn't understand what she means. SLOANE True. but it's an option. As long as I've known him. BABY FERRIS TWIST AND SHOUT! GIRLS TWIST AND SHOUT! FERRIS COME ON. STREET. COME ON. SHAKE IT UP.

POLICE OFFICER YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD! EXT. WOMAN YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO FINE! TODDLERS LOOK SO FINE! EXT. PUNKS A band of PUNKS are dancing on the roof of a news kiosk. It's infecting the entire parade. SLOANE Me either. TEENAGER COME ON AND TWIST A LITTLE CLOSER! EXT. We HEAR "TWIST AND SHOUT" GROWING LOUDER AND LOUDER.SLOANE What are you interested in? CAMERON Nothing. STATE STREET. STREET. STREET. STREET. NEWSPAPER SELLER TWIST A LITTLE CLOSER! EXT. EXT. OLD NEWSPAPER SELLER He singing along. MARCHING BAND They're playing TWIST AND SHOUT. BLACK TEENAGER He's wearing a shower cap and a maroon overcoat. STREET MOTHER AND HER CHILDREN A WOMAN and her two TODDLERS sing along. The sons is taking over all the other tunes in the band. STREET. MOUNTED POLICE OFFICER He's singing. CAMERON What do you think Ferris is gonna do? EXT. They walk on for a few beats. STREET. CHOIR GROUP . PUNKS LOOK SO GOOD! EXT.

STREET. Cameron's father's car flies OVER CAMERA. WIDE AND HIGH The entire parade is at frenzy pitch. FLOAT Ferris leads the Beauty Queens in the rousing finale. STREET. CLERGYMEN AH! EXT. VETERANS AH! EXT. They're singing in their angleic voices. SLO-MO. DECK The entire parade is singing and playing "TWIST AND SHOUT". VIEWING STAND The POLITICIANS and their WIVES stand up.They're marching down the parade. CALUMET CITY The Port of Chicago. EXT.. PARADE AHHHHH! The SOUND OF THE VOICES blends with the SOUND OF A RED-LINED HIGH PERFORMANCE ENGINE. VIEWING STAND The CLERGYMEN stand. Like the opening shot in Star Wars. The Starship Ferrari. STREET CLEANERS KNOW THAT YOU'RE MINE! EXT. STREET. gritty waterfront. FERRIS AH! EXT. CHOIR AND LET ME KNOW THAT YOU'RE MINE! EXT. STREET. STREET CLEANERS With their brooms ready. Suddenly. 138 EXT. STREET. POLITICIANS AND WIVES AH! EXT. 138 . VETERANS Marching in formation and in WWII uniforms. STREET. Grim. STREET..

excited smiles. SLO-MO. SLO-MO. He looks at the house. FERRIS' HOUSE Rooney gets out of his car. CAR GRILLE It fills the frame and stops. STREETS. SLO-MO. CU. PARKING ATTENDANT His eyes are wide with exhilaration. SLO-MO.CU. I'm very ill and I'm afraid that in my weakened condition. looks up and down the street. We MOVE UP to reveal Rooney behind the wheel of his car. We HEAR FERRIS' VOICE. Maniac at the wheel. Mouth open. EXT. FERRIS' ROOM. Ferris. KIDS They're looking up in the air. RASTAMAN His eyes are closed. Broad. FOYER Rooney's at the front door. FERRARI UNDER-CARRIAGE It travels past to reveal a beautiful blue sky. 141 INT. 142 EXT. HOUSE. COMPUTER It acknowledges the doorbell. CASSETTE PLAYER It clicks on. CU. following the car as it flies over them. 140 INT. 139 CU. then crosses to Ferris' house. EXT. HOUSE. I'd like to have a word with you. I could take a nasty spill down the 142 141 140 139 . FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry I can't come to the door right now. We see him peek in a window at the top of the door. tongue out. Big smile. CU. FRONT PORCH The house intercom activates. The doorbell rings. The car's shadow passes over them. HOUSE. FERRIS Who is it? Rooney presses the intercom. ROONEY This is Ed Rooney.

143 INT. Rooney leans back from the door. ROONEY Don't get smart with me Ferris! FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry I can't come to the door right now.. 144 INT. The pre-recorded litany starts over. FERRIS' VOICE Who is it? Rooney doesn't realize that he's listening to a recording. 144 143 . His voice clicks off.stairs and subject myself to further school absenses.. Thank you for stopping by. ROONEY B. ROONEY I'm not leaving until you come down and talk to me. There's a pause. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. LIVING ROOM Rooney steps through the hedges and peeks in the windows. Rooney presses the intercom again. ROONEY I'm not leaving. He can't quite figure out what's going on. Rooney presses the intercom. Rooney rings the doorbell again. Ferris. It will be remembered long after this illness has past. Come down here. KITCHEN Rooney tries to peak in the kitchen window. HOUSE. FERRIS' VOICE You can reach my parents at their places of business. FERRIS' VOICE You may reach my parents at their places of business. But's it's highly suspicious. I'm very ill and I'm afraid that in my weakened condition. We HEAR FERRIS' VOICE inside. FERRIS' VOICE Have a nice day.S. Rooney presses the intercom again. HOUSE. There's no response.

CU. HOUSE. EXT. Rooney is crouched down. I'm losing respect for you by the bucket. one goes the other. The type that allows a dog to come and go as it pleases. Cameron's mouth is open in amazement. 145 EXT. SLOANE Ferris. We hear a LARGE DOG GROWL. 146 CU. FERRIS You don't think it's amazing that we got in? SLOANE Who wants to get in? FERRIS Cameron looks like a toddler. Sloane is embarrassed and revolted. HIS POV Along the kitchen floor. I'm talking about 146 145 . ROONEY He's peaking through the door. DOGGIE DOOR A Rottweiler bursts through the doggie door in a fury of gnashing teeth and foam. for Christ's sake. CAMERON. FERRIS AND SLOANE They're sitting in a booth in the garish. Through the kitchen..FERRIS' VOICE I appreciate your conern for my well-being. HOUSE. CAMERON How does she do that? One goes one way.. nearly deserted strip joint. His face freezes. this is nauseating me. FERRIS She's probably schizophrenic. He hears the dog. LARGE BREASTS Tassled pasties twirl like airplane propellers. CU. BACKDOOR A black rubber doggie door. FERRIS Have a nice day. He lifts the doggie door and peeks in the house. Really. into the dining room. It will be remembered long after.

I feel it. But that's not true. You may think because I'm the age I am that I'm a sex maniac. A lover. I think alot of people my age are. with you as my sweetheart. FERRIS Point well taken. And SAT scores and acne aside. we worry about lonliness. I've never known. We think about love and matters of the heart. You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue. I'm a romantic. He strolls slowly through the empty club as the stripper bumps and grinds in a pool of blue light. A boyfriend.. A sappy. Cameron and Sloane disappear into darkness. FERRIS You know. And we feel it. someone said the world's a stage and each must play a part. Fate had me playing in love. SLOANE I'm not a tramp. But consider why she does it.. That sex is all I think about. A parent. He flips his collar up. You acted strange. And why. The club lights go down. You seemed to change. (to CAMERA) This kind of thing makes me a little depressed. Why she does it and you don't. SLOANE I'm not interested in watching someone jiggle their mammary glands. FERRIS Maybe her life fell apart. Ferris stands up from the booth. Maybe she lost somebody. the stage is bare and I'm standing there with emptiness all around and if you won't . FERRIS Honey. you lies when you said you loved me and I had no cause to doubt you. It's a terrible thing. He climbs up on the little runway. do-wop track FADES UP. I loved you at first glance. Act one was when we met. But I'd rather go on hearing your lies than to go on living without you. Now. curls his lip and affects an Elvis impression. A child. Then came act two. The stripper disappears in darkness as Ferris takes over the spotlight.a major achievement in false identification.

DOWNTOWN STREET. CAMERON'S FATHER No. TAXI CAB 150 149 148 147 at the car. HER POV Spray-painted on the town water tower in gigantic black letters -. He freezes.. 150 INT.come back to me.. Her mouth's open. CAMERON'S FATHER He shakes his head. dramatic florish that was the King's trademark ballad sign-off. then they can bring the curtain down. ELVIS IS YOUR HEART FILLED WITH PAIN? SHALL I COME BACK AGAIN? TELL ME DEAR. ATTENDANT You looking for something in my car? CU. JEANIE She's furious. JEANIE I'm gonna microwave his nuts. . 148 EXT. CU.SAVE FERRIS BUELLER. MICHIGAN AVENUE Afternoon traffic. The orignal recording. ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? Ferris drops his head.. Elvis fades up. He HIS POV The Attendant and the Rastaman are glowering at him. She's shaking her head slowly. 149 EXT. JEANIE Jeanie's standing at her car. no. He reaches for the glovebox to if it's his. 147 EXT. He's studying it. CAMERON'S CAR Cameron's father is looking looks terribly familiar.. She's staring incredulously into the distance. It leans into the open car and see if the contents will confirm looks up slowly. Ferris lip synchs with the big. Like the King would. FERRIS' TOWN. They're holding bags of fried chicken.

FERRIS You saw four states.. FERRIS That hurts. but it means my ass. Cameron's been a good sport. Cameron. CAMERON It's getting late. FERRIS Clearly you've never been to an American high school.. Ferris. a submarine. SLOANE Jump back. FERRIS You think I don't care? CAMERON I know you don't care. Cameron on the other. Ferris is talking to the DRIVER. Sloane's in the middle. a giant heart. seventy five dollars . I have to get the car home. how long have you been in America? DRIVER One year. FERRIS What's your overall impression? DRIVER It's very good here. I know you don't care. Ferris. FERRIS So. FERRIS Cameron. FERRIS So. He puts his arm around Sloane. Ferris sits back. Sloane and Cameron in the backseat of a checker. FERRIS Better than Russia? DRIVER Much better here than in Russia. Ferris is on one window. what'd you see today? Cameron looks at him.Ferris. He leans forward and reads the driver's name off the city license. Yuri.

TOM'S POV Ferris' frozen face. He turns and looks right into CAMERA. She turns and glances out the window. FERRIS What?! Sloane bursts out laughing. She makes a . Thinks. HER POV Tom stares at her. INT. with their backs to the back of the front seat. Cameron and Ferris are on the floor. FLOOR. He's frozen. SLOANE Roast! She licks her finger and touches Ferris knee. major league baseball and. On their asses. HIS POV In the gridlock traffic.. their cab is squeezed tight alongside another cab. She's wearing sunglasses. He's about a foot from Ferris. Ferris realizes he's looking at something out the window. He looks away.worth of cooked pancreas. He turns. He freezes. FERRIS' POV Tom glances back at his paper. CAB. FERRIS (to Sloane) What's he doing? SLOANE (revolted) He's looking at me and he's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands. Fakes a yawn.. Turns back to CAMERA. feet up on the seat. looking bored. two of the most incredible breasts ever to come out of modern plastics. He pauses. TOM'S POV Sloane is sitting where Ferris was. He's baffled. In that cab is Tom. Looks up. (quizical look) Are you gonna chuck your nachos? Cameron's staring past Ferris.

.please. FERRIS' HOUSE. 154 153 152 151 . 153 EXT. 151 EXT. A DELIVERY MAN gets out iwth a huge floral arrangement. CITY STREET Ferris is leading the way down Michigan Avenue. He greets Rooney cheerily.sizzling sound. Rooney looks up at him.00 dress shoe. He heads up to the house. DOG The Rottweiler's chewing on a shoe. He turns and slowly raises his newspaper over his face. mumbling again. He keeps bumping into people. He's hustling through the crowd. 154 EXT. She's jogging to keep up. We see on the back of the paper a small story with the headline: COMMUNITY RALLIES AROUND SICK YOUTH. She collapes on the seat in hysterics. His suit coat pocket is torn off. you worthless mutt! HIS POV The Rottweiler leaps at CAMERA. TOM He can't quite figure out what's going on.. ROONEY That's a $28. He's looking in at the dog. TOM'S CAB Tom's looking into Ferris' cab. EXT. His suit pants are torn from the crotch to the knee. HOUSE. FRONT A florist truck pulls up in front of the house. INT. 152 EXT... Tearing it apart. He's missing a shoe. BACKYARD. His hair's messed and there're grass-stains on his knees and elbows. He has Sloane by the hand. CU. ROONEY He's standing outside the fence. HIS POV Sloane's bouncing up and down. HOUSE. Ferris and Sloane make the turn at Wacker Driver and disappear into the Stone Container Building. PORCH Rooney's sitting on the porch patting a bloody knee with his handkerchief.tits.. BACKYARD. CAMERON Money. Cameron's a few steps behind. Cameron follows. The delivery man hops up on the steps..

DELIVERY MAN Little bugger's dying. Thank you for stopping by. ROONEY It's a recording. I could take a nasty spill and subject myself to further school absenses... DELIVERY MAN Focus on Flowers. (continues) I don't know the details. Rooney is flabbergasted. DELIVERY MAN Nobody's home here? ROONEY No. FERRIS' VOICE Have a nice day. DELIVERY MAN What's your problem? ROONEY He's one of my students. DELIVERY MAN .. He's very popular..that in my weakened condition. But my boss had to send to Milwaukee to get more orchids. FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry but I can't come to the door right now. (pause) You can reach my parents at their places of business. DELIVERY MAN As I heard it from our mailman he was supposedly born with only half a kidney.DELIVERY MAN Howdy! He presses the doorbell.. It will be remembered long after this illness has passed. FERRIS' VOICE Who is it? The Deliver Man presses the intercom. I'm very ill and I'm afraid. I have a delivery. ROONEY What? FERRIS' VOICE . asshole. DELIVERY MAN (to the intercom) Thank you. A beat and we hear Ferris' recording. I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing..

J. 157 EXT. He opens the attached card. D. FERRIS 157 156 155 . FERRIS He put his headphones on.You gonna be around for awhile? ROONEY I imagine so. FACULTY AND STAFF 155 INT. CU. Then he looks at the Delivery Man. 156 INT. His name is Ferris Mueller. is sitting behind his microphone. DELIVERY MAN Gotta run. I don't know who that was or what they were playing but I apologize for it nonetheless. DELIVERY MAN (happy sigh) It really touches me that so many people are rallying behind this guy. He hands the arrangement to Rooney. We hear her car radio. Christ.J. I guess there's hope for the human race afterall.. RADIO STATION STUDIO The number one afternoon FM rock'n roll D. STUDIO. (pause) I have a guest with me today. He bounds off the porch and trots to the truck. CARD It's signed: ALL OUR BEST FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY THE ENGLISH DEPT. ROONEY (defeated) Oh. D... FERRIS' HOUSE Jeanie's car pull in the driveway. Rooney looks incredulously at the arrangement.J. DELIVERY MAN You wanna keep an eye on these? Rooney looks at the flowers..

SCHOOL A group of kids are sitting around a blaster.000 watt outlet. It's going to by very thick and very steamy. (pause) You know this. STUDIO Ferris leans forward and adjusts the microphone. Unlike television which provides the images. CAR. Sorry about that.J. I used to play records and do introductions to them. affects a "radio" voice) Well. He has an incredible story. CAR ANTENNA The impact of her blow to the radio shoots the antenna in the air. FERRIS It's cool. speaks into the mike. D. INT. This is a 50. 159 INT. FERRIS I'm going to tell a massive lie here.. (clears his voice.. FERRIS' VOICE .. But I've never had the chance to sit behind a microphone and try it out for real.Bueller. Ferris Bueller. I have what I consider to be an excellent broadcast voice. Her eyes blink.. Ferris turns to CAMERA. you and your listeners are probably not going to believe this but. it challenges the imagination.J. I practise it in the bathroom all the time. Anyway. her head cocks.. Steve. 158 INT. D. I'm going out to several million people so let me just say. I'm in a very pleasant groove right now. I think radio's a facinating medium.. it's always been a dream of mine to be on the radio. radio. CU.I'm the first Chicago area youth 159 158 . Jeanie draws back and punches out her radio. JEANIE She goes into shock.

EXT. STUDIO Ferris turns from the mike to CAMERA. pulled out of the lot. The car got fixed in auto shop for nothing and I think Rooney pocketed the cash. It was weird. I took it again and passed. which was not in any way. But I can't prove it? I'm in high school. 160 INT. Anyway. I was so pissed off at her reaction to the whole thing that I considered running an ad in a sleaze magazine for a school teacher that does phone sex and I was gonna use Mrs. HALLWAY A even larger group of kids is listening to the blaster. BACKYARD 162 161 160 The Rottweiler is laying unconscious on the lawn. I was putting out a cigarette.J. shape or from my fault. FERRIS HOUSE. Heller looked at me like I'd just pulled a bunny out of my nose or something and I realized what the hell I was doing and I went to put it out and hit the mail box. D. FERRIS' HOUSE. car and spaced completely. SCHOOL. The flower arrangement is scattered all over the yard and the ceramic vase the flowers were in has obviously struck the dog. I'm so used to getting in a car and lighting up. The broken pieces are all around the dog's head. BACKYARD. remember? He turns back to the DJ.to be selected to participate in a space shuttle mission. FERRIS I was going to say I knew Springsteen's home phone number and I was going to give out the number of the New Jersey State Police but I thought I might get busted. They're cheering him on. 161 INT. like I was told. But I had to work at Burger King to get the cash to pay for the driver's ed. Heller's home number but is cost too much. lit up a 'boro and Mrs. that I got in the driver's ed. How did you get picked for this. 162 EXT. because I'm not allowed to smoke at home. FERRIS It's kind of a long story but I've been doing alot of programming for NASA. After I got flunked in driver's ed for sideswiping a mail box. ROONEY . car.

HOUSE. She dials a number. A smile spreads across her face. He looks around the foyer and heads into the kitchen. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Jeanie tiptoes down the stairs. Bueller there? Where is she? This is her daughter. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie's on the phone. ROONEY Sleep tight. HIS POV A glimpse of a fleeting figure. He drops down and peek in the windows..He's smiling with great satisfaction. His head snaps around. FRONT Rooney sneaks around the side of the house. 164 EXT. The front door's open. JEANIE Is Mrs.. Do you know where she is? Do you know when she'll be back? Do you know anything? She slams the phone down. He peeks in. He's back and she's going to nail him. 167 166 165 164 163 . He hears something in the house. 167 INT. 166 INT. 163 INT. JEANIE The worm has luck like clams have body odor. pooch. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie kicks the door open. HOUSE. He slinks up on the porch. JEANIE I knew it! She grabs the phone and sits down. FOYER Rooney sneaks into the house. CU. HOUSE. HOUSE. She's startled by a noise downstairs. 165 INT. She stomps in and turns off the snoring synthesizer. The yardstick flings the covers and the pillows beneath them in the air. ROONEY His eyes dance in anticipation of revenge.

CAR Boyd looks out the window as his parents and Joyce appear. you can really have something to be proud of. He hits the deck. FERRIS' VOICE My input on the Star Wars defense plan was pretty substantial so I guess this is their way of rewarding me. CAR Boyd is sitting in the backseat of Joyce's car listening to the radio. I'm pretty flattered. JOYCE If you're willing to commit a little time and a little money to this place. FOYER Jeanie sneaks into the kitchen. FOYER Jeanie comes down the stairs into the foyer. HOUSE. INT. She flees back up the stairs. KITCHEN Rooney comes out of the den. EXT. She doesn't recognize Rooney as himself but as an intruder. CAR Joyce and her clients take one last look at the house. 169 170 INT. HOUSE. VOICE Can you stay around and take a few phone calls? FERRIS' VOICE I'd really like to but I have a kidney operation in about an hour. KITCHEN 172 Jeanie and Rooney come face-to-face. KITCHEN Rooney sneaks through the kitchen into the den. 171 172 INT. EXT.168 INT. back into the kitchen. 173 . D. Jeanie squeals in horror.J. She drops into a karate stance and kicks Rooney in the face. 168 169 INT. He crosses back toward the foyer. 170 171 INT. CAR Joyce and her clients leave a show house and head toward the car. 173 INT. HOUSE.

She gives him a curious look. BOYD How do you watch your mouth? JOYCE Do you know my son? . JOYCE Not that I know of. BOYD Is he going up in the space shuttle in September? Joyce looks around at Boyd. VOICE A very interesting guy.J. VOICE I wish you the best of luck. Joyce gets in. BOYD I knew he was bullshitting. how are you bearing up? The kid stares at her. JOYCE Did I tell you I have a son your age? BOYD Twice. JOYCE His name is Ferris. I think you'd like him.J. FERRIS' VOICE Thanks. INT. Boyd sits up in the seat at the mention of Ferris' name. The clients get in the other side. A song starts. JOYCE (to the kid) Well. D. MOTHER Watch your mouth. D. Steve. She opens the car door.Don't let the black living room throw you off. CAR The door opens. Boyd. Ferris Bueller.

male caucasian. okay? I'm very cute. It's parked in front of a fire hydrant and the windshield is decorated with parking citations. Joyce give him a puzzled smile and starts the car. In the distance SIRENS WAIL. PARKING LOT The three are waiting for the Ferrari. JEANIE It's real nice that you hope my brother's feeling better but I'm in danger. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie's on the phone. If you have any brains whatsoever. (pause) My name is Bueller. There's an intruder. Jeanie's face drops. There's another pause.FATHER Don't pay any attention to him. I'm very alone and I'm very protective of my body. STREET Rooney's car is hooked to a tow truck. We HEAR TIRES 177 176 175 174 . possibly armed. And a scorching case of herpes. 176 EXT. I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. JEANIE This is not a phoeny phone call. She's in a panic. He thinks it's cute to bait adults. in our kitchen. Rooney stiffens with fear. 174 INT. I think it's fun. I need help! 175 INT. JEANIE'S VOICE I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. 177 EXT. The intercom goes on. I'd rather not have it violated or killed. KITCHEN Rooney's plugging his bloody nose with paper towel. JEANIE'S VOICE Excuse me. BOYD I don't think it's cute. If whoever's in the house is still in the house. certainly weird. you'll get your ass out of my house real quick.

Ferris hands him the parking stub. Then the Ferrari pulls down the ramp and jams to a frightening stop. what was your top speed coming down the ramp? BLACK GUY (matter-of-fact) About 60. A BLACK GUY jumps out. FERRIS Cameron? How many miles did you say this thing had when we left? CAMERON 178 . AN ENGINE REVING-OUT. SLOANE What's next. And back to the speedometer. SLOANE We could go to my house. We return the car. FERRARI Sloane's in the passenger seat. FERRIS This is probably the last time you'll have to ride back here. FERRIS We have enough cash left for a quick flight to Peoria and back. DOWNTOWN STREET The Ferrari cruises through traffic. Keep that in mind. FERRIS Stunning! He hands him a buck and opens the door and pulls the passenger seat forward for Cameron. FERRIS Just out of curiosity. then to the road. My parents aren't coming home until late.SQUEALING. He glances down at the speedometer. Ferris looks in the mirror and changes lanes. INT. Ferris is driving and Cameron is crammed in the back. CAMERON Very funny. 178 EXT. CAMERON Nothing. Cameron gives him a look and squeezes in.

SLOANE She whips around in the seat and grabs his arms. EXT. Why? How many miles are on it now? He glances down at the speedometer. CAMERON His eyes are frozen in a mindless. He starts to breathe heavily. It's okay. He's concerned. Her gesture is one of genuine support. TRAFFIC The Ferrari pulls up at a stop light. vacant stare. SPEEDOMETER The odometer reads 432. CU.7. We'll fix it. CU.One hundred and twenty six and halfway between three and four tenths. INT. EXT. MUFFLED SCREAM. CU. FERRIS (to CAMERA) Here's where Cameron goes berserk. CU. SLOANE You okay? CU. He's trembling. CAMERON He's still holding the stare. FERRARI Sloane turns in her seat and looks at Cameron. SLOANE Cameron! Cut it out! What's wrong?! Ferris! CU. FERRIS Hey. Cameron. FERRIS He shoots Sloane a look. . We HEAR A THUNDERING. EXPRESSWAY The Ferrari is buzzing through traffic. FERRIS He looks at Sloane.

Cameron? CU.. thank you.. just shut-up. FERRIS Eyes front.. HER POV 180 179 . The Ferris' tape is activated. FERRIS VOICE Who is it? We hear a MALE VOICE over the intercom.. VOICE Anybody home? FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry that I can't come to the door right now. FERRIS' HOUSE. JEANIE I'm saved! Thank you. Nothing's a problem for you.FERRIS Cameron. SLOANE Shut-up! It is a problem! For him it's a problem. She whips it open. thank you! She jumps the last few stairs and slides to the front door. FRONT DOOR The door swings open. She blinks her eyes. But it's a problem for him! So. 180 EXT. She turns back to Cameron.you. Her jaw goes slack.. JEANIE Thank. He knows what he's doing. FOYER The doorbell rings. really. HOUSE. FERRARI Sloane fires an angry look at Ferris. God! Thank you. 179 INT. INT. SLOANE What can I do. Your old man won't know a thing. It's completely fixable.. The tape continues as Jeanie hurtles down the stairs. are you okay? It's no problem.

CU. The door slams shut. GIRL I'll bet you never smelled a real school bus before.. Spread all around them are more flowers. GIRL She holds her smile. GIRL She looks at Rooney and smiles. A sexy singing NURSE and a BALLOON MAN steps up on the porch. The bus doors open. DRIVER You want a lift? Rooney takes a few more steps. He stops. Rooney takes a deep breath. Mr. A school bus is crawling alongside him as kids hang out the windows. He climbs aboard the bus. The passengers are silent as they watch Rooney shuffle down the aisle and take an empty seat next to a skinny. 182 INT.. Rooney! What're you doing? Rooney doesn't respond. 182 181 . NEIGHBORHOOD STREET Rooney's walking down the street. myopic GIRL. The DRIVER calls out to him. 181 EXT. The bus stops. BUS The bus is jammed with WONKS and WEINERETTES. CU. ROONEY He looks vacantly at her. KID Hey. ANOTHER KID Did you get in a fight? Rooney keep walking. A top forty montage. She pushes her Coke bottle glasses up on her nose. CU.The Delivery Man and a young ASSISTANT are standing at the door with floral arrangements. NURSE (sings) WE HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER WE HOPE YOU'RE FELLING FIT WE. From inside we hear SHOUTING and seventeen different SONGS PLAYING ON BLASTERS.

I think Cameron might have blown a micro-chip or two. ROONEY He looks across to the kid. PARK 184 183 Cameron's laying on a picnic table. CU. FRESHMAN BOY It's kind of like being in the belly of the beast isn't it? CU. CU. GIRL She puts one in her mouth. 184 EXT. BOY A rotund FRESHMAN BOY sitting across from Rooney is staring at him. ROONEY He turns him eyes to the front. The bus jerks forward and pulls away. He's always been a little keyed-up. Sloane's sitting beside him on the table. FERRIS This may very well be for real. The BLASTERS go back on. GIRL She holds up a candy package. All I wanted to do . GIRL Gummi Bear? CU. BOY He leans forward. She's stroking his hair. He addresses CAMERA. ROONEY He stares at her. 183 EXT. CU. ROONEY He stares at her. BUS It grinds through the gears as it heads down the quiet street.CU. CU. GIRL They've been in pocket. They're real soft and warm. CU. the SHOUTING RESUMES. Ferris WALKS INTO THE FOREGROUND.

She looks away. He starts back to the picnic table. She still has another year of high school. the process of growing up will separate us. . What do they call what they have? If that's love. FERRIS Sloane's a bigger problem. He's gonna marry the first girl he lays. This isn't just teenage infatuation. FERRIS (VO) Cameron's never been in love. We're gonna graduate in a couple of months. CU. FERRIS I'm being tested here. He'll work and I'll work. He begins to walk. Sloane's stroking his hair. And she's gonna treat him like shit because he's gonna kiss her ass for giving him what he's built-up in his mind as the end-all. I'll take infatuation. At least no one's ever been in love with him. CAMERON His eyes are closed. CU. That's what my parents call it. personally. be-all of human existance. How do I deal with that? I was serious when I said I'd marry her. Conventional wisdom would suggest a visit to the nearest trauma center. My. As much as we like each other. SLOANE She's studying Cameron's face. She won't respect him because you can't respect someone who kisses your ass. I would. I wouldn't fault anybody for doing that. And we'll see each other at night and on the weekends but then he'll go to one school and I'll go to another. And basically that'll be it. FERRIS He looks to the picnic table. SLOANE Ferris? CU. We follow him. Then we have the summer. Then back to CAMERA.was give him a good day. It just doesn't work. FERRIS My best friend has flipped-out.

I think this calls for something new, something bold, something wet and wild. 185 CU. JACUZZI JET UNDERWATER SHOT. A hyrdojet spews a gush of air bubbles. CU. BLASTER A finger pushes the PLAY button on the cassette. MUSIC COMES UP. CU. BEER CAN LID The finger pops a beer. CU. OREO PACKAGE A painted fingernail pierces the cellophane wrapper. INT. JACUZZI Ferris and Sloane are in Sloane's parents' Jacuzzi. Their clothes are tosssed around the deck. Cameron's been placed in a patio chair at the edge of the Jacuzzi. He's still catatonic. He's mummbling softly. Ferris is drinking a beer. Sloane's eating Oreos. FERRIS You feeling any better, Cameron? SLOANE The water's really nice. I wish you'd come in. CU. CAMERON Staring into space. CAMERON Surgery...fire...move... CU. SLOANE AND FERRIS They look at each other. She offers him a cookie. He offers her his beer. FERRIS Cameron? Do you think this because of the car or is it a combination of everything shitty in your life? CU. CAMERON He doesn't respond. CAMERON Music...kiss...attack... CU. SLOANE AND FERRIS 185

Sloane sips the beer. FERRIS You just can't deal with anymore shit? The car took you into the red zone? Time for a reality check? SLOANE Cameron? I could flip real easy, too. There's nothing wrong with it. At one time or another, everybody goes to the zoo. FERRIS Maybe he was actually sick. Maybe he wasn't bullshitting himself. CU. CAMERON No response. CAMERON Gesundheit...God...mercy... EXT. BACKYARD Ferris and Sloane watch their catatonic friend. CU. CAMERON He smiles. CU. SLOANE She leans forward and stares at Cameron. CU. FERRIS He cocks his head, wondering what Cameron's up to. CU. CAMERON He keels over forward. EXT. BACKYARD Cameron falls out of the chair and splashes down, face-first, into the water. Sloane screams. Ferris leaps for him. UNDERWATER Ferris struggles with Cameron's lifeless bulk. CU. SLOANE She's screaming. Ferris thrashes around in the water. UNDERWATER

Ferris grabs Cameron's collar and rips him out of the water. EXT. BACKYARD Ferris sits Cameron on the edge of the Jacuzzi. FERRIS CAMERON! CU. CAMERON His eyes are closed. He's lifeless. CU. FERRIS His face is a mask of terror. He shakes Cameron. CU. SLOANE She's screaming. CU. CAMERON A smile spreads across his face. CU. FERRIS He sees the smile. He stops shaking Cameron. EXT. JACUZZI Ferris and Cameron are looking at each other. Sloane's still screaming. She realizes that Cameron's okay. She stops screaming. SLOANE What? FERRIS (Cameron) You asshole! Cameron's smiling. SLOANE What? Ferris starts to laugh. Cameron explodes with laughter. Sloane's bewildered. SLOANE What's so funny? 186 INT. POLICE STATION. WAITING ROOM 186

Jeanie's sitting on a wooden bench with a WASTED TEENAGE BOY in a Triumph t-shirt, long hair, torn jeans, creepers, studs and chains. He's studying her. BOY Drugs?

He understands the emotion.JEANIE No. BOY I meant. I'm straight. I've got the troubles. The boy nods. In a nutshell. I'm serious. The boy crosses his legs. thank you. BOY Then why don't you go home? JEANIE Why don't you put your thumb up your butt? The boy stares at her. If you've got the time. JEANIE I don't know why I'm here. BOY You want to talk about your problem? JEANIE With you? Are you serious? BOY Yeah. JEANIE Why are you here? BOY Drugs. Did you shoot him or something? JEANIE No. JEANIE You really want to know what's wrong? The boy shrugs. . JEANIE Blow yourself. are you here for drugs? Jeanie stares at him. How's that? BOY That's cool. Jeanie looks back at him. I hate my brother. Jeanie turns away. not yet. JEANIE Alright.

JEANIE I'd get caught. You oughta spend a little more time dealing with yourself and a little less time worrying about what your brother does. It's just an opinion. Jeanie stares angrily at him. you lose a testicle. BOY Then your problem is you. BOY So. you're pissed at him because he ditches and doesn't get caught? JEANIE Basically. JEANIE If you say Ferris Bueller. BOY There's somebody you should talk to. JEANIE Excuse me? BOY Excuse you. The boy nods knowingly. BOY You know him? . BOY What do you care if your brother ditches school? Jeanie stares at the boy. Jeanie stares at him threateningly.JEANIE I went home to confirm that the shithead was ditching school and a guy broke into the house and I called the cops and they picked me up for making a phoney phone call. Partly because he's so bold and partly because he's so right. JEANIE Why should he get to ditch school when everybody else has to go? BOY You could ditch.

SLOANE Come on. Sloane. JEANIE'S HAND It curls into a fist. ACCELERATOR A brick's resting on the accelerator. CAMERON'S GARAGE Ferris. . The Ferrari is jacked up. 187 CU. The wheels are turning. INT.CU. holding it down. SLOANE Really. CY. CAMERON If you guys only had one word. CAMERON Thank you. CAMERON I was just thinking was like. FERRARI TIRE It's spinning rapidly. Cameron and Sloane are sitting in the garage. FERRIS Bathroom. The whole time things over. Ferris. what would it be? FERRIS Sloane is naked before your eyes and you're thinking about words? SLOANE God bless you. it doesn't make if the present 187 FERRIS I have a agree with you there. meditating. I I was thinking And I realized and difference goes to shit. CAMERON I've been thinking all day that if you could only have the use of one word. Cameron. The engine's racing. answer his question. what would it be? FERRIS I can't believe you'd think up something like with a naked girl in a jacuzzi right in front of you. about the future.

Ferris and Sloane think about it. CAMERON Ferris? It's not working. .. SLOANE You wanna be generic? CAMERON It's help. INT. Ferris looks up.. ODOMETER Nothing's happening. GARAGE Cameron pulls his head out of the car. CAMERON The word is help. running it in reverse. Cameron peeks in the window. FERRIS Cash. FERRIS And what is you loathe somebody? Are you going to say "love" every time you see them? SLOANE It's better than "hello". FERRIS Hellos' generic.SLOANE I'd say. CAMERON It's the only word you could ever use. CU. CAMERON The miles aren't coming off. SLOANE Love. She thinks. Cameron gets up and walks to the Ferrari. FERRIS Hello. Cameron smiles at his wisdom. It's a good choice.

I will not sit idly by as events that affect me unfold to change the course of my life. CU. CU. CAMERON Seventeen years and I've never taken a stand. CU. Let's crack open the odometer and roll it back by hand. CU. He walks back around behind the Ferrari. my present and my future. CAMERON He's serious and determined. against my past.FERRIS I thought that might be a problem. CU. I'm taking a stand against my father. When my father comes home tonight. I will take a stand and I will defend it. CU. against my family. I'm taking a stand. MERCEDES BUMPER Cameron's foot rests on the bumper. It's cool. Cameron shakes his head. Now. TIRE The spinning tires slam down on the cement. She applauds him. A beat and it gives a mighty shove.000 . INT. FERRIS This is a big U-2 fan. he's finally going to have to deal with me. I'm gonna do it. Good or bad. It squeals out of the garage in a cloud of blue tire smoke. against myself. FERRIS He turns to CAMERA. TIRES It's spinning wildly. He has made up his mind and it appears that it won't be changed by anyone but himself. SLOANE She smiles proudly at Cameron. CAMERON I got a better idea. GARAGE Cameron has kicked the Ferrari off the jack. A $50.

Then he regains his confidence. A puzzled look. He's proud and bold. CAMERON It's okay. GARAGE Cameron watches the car go. Cameron looks across the street. He shoots a look to Ferris. He's strangely placcid about the impending disaster. FERRIS Cameron? One quick question. . CU. FERRIS What was that about? SLOANE This has to be a dream. They look at Cameron. Then a look of bewilderment comes over his face. FERRIS No. CU. across the street. SLOANE Why? CAMERON I took a stand. EXT. Why'd you do that? Cameron holds his proud posture for a beat. Cameron. FERRIS You trashed the car. over the curb into the wooded property opposite the house. SLOANE AND FERRIS They're in shock. INT. Ferris and Sloane are bewildered. Cameron thinks for a moment. INT. GARAGE Ferris and Sloane exchange baffled looks. TREE The Ferrari's brief journey ends as it smacks a tree trunk. THEIR POV The Ferrari travels down the driveway.unmanned investment heading backwards down a driveway. HOUSE The Ferrari shoots down the driveway. You wrecked a car.

The gathers her purse and jacket and stands. CAMERON I'm gonna handle it.Ferris looks across the street at the car. by the way. Second. Outside the office. OFFICER Oh. thanks. on the bench. Joyce looks at the officer curiously. I don't know why she wasn't at school. I don't know why she'd call you with this story about a rapist. OFFICE Joyce is talking with the juvenile officer. CAMERON No. He shakes his head. I appreciate your calling me. He raises am impish eyebrow. FERRIS I have an idea. If I need it again. FERRIS I think this could work. If you're interested. 188 . I'm loose. CAMERON It's cool. SLOANE What about your one word? CAMERON You already did it. I think she'd had a good scare. I hope you son's feeling better. JOYCE She's never been in trouble before. I want to deal with it by myself. JOYCE I hope so. He smiles. we see Jeanie and the boy making out. Cameron looks at him. 188 INT. First. This is a shock to me. OFFICER For whatever reasons she did it. POLICE STATION. JOYCE Thank you. I'll use it. I can assure you that her father and I will have a long talk with her.

POLICE STATION. all the guys at the station here are pulling for him. She's still a little bewildered that everybody knows Ferris was ill. BOY For sure. JOYCE Don't "hi" me. JEANIE (to the boy) If you keep this to yourself. JEANIE Hi.OFFICER Tell him. What's yours? BOY Garth Volbeck. young lady. 190 EXT. It was pretty cool. I think we can probably get it on pretty good. SLOANE'S BACKYARD Sloane and Ferris are standing at the back fence. I guess. Jeanie wipes her lips and sits up straight. Jeanie reaches down for her purse. Get your stuff. SLOANE I had a great time today. I'd be worried if he'd 190 189 . FERRIS Yeah. His old man had it coming. WAITING ROOM Jeanie quickly breaks the embrace with the boy as Joyce steps out of the juvenile officer's room. 189 INT. He'll be okay. Jeanie stands up. BOY What's your name? JEANIE Jean. The boy adjusts his pants to better hide his passion. SLOANE You think Cameron's gonna be alright? FERRIS Sure. He had to so it.

Sloane smiles knowingly. BEDSPREAD Neatly bundles stacks of bills and rolled coins. He runs directly for a swimming pool. It gives us great pleasure to assist 193 . CU. FERRIS I'll call you tonight. ANOTHER BACKYARD 192 191 Ferris vaults a fence.taken my idea. ". He kisses her. hits the diving board. SLOANE He's gonna marry me. FERRIS No. He jumps a plaster elf. 193 CU. Sloane watches him go. She turns and runs into the house. 192 EXT. SLOANE You didn't have an idea. He's approaching it from the side.. SLOANE You're so smart. BACKYARD Ferris sprints across a backyard. Ferris jumps the fence and takes off across the backyards. SLOANE I LOVE YOU! She backs away from the fence. I'm just real loose..33.765. springs off. Sloane nods. 191 EXT.in the amount of $1. PIECE OF PAPER We see a portion of the typewritten letter as she signs it. CU. SLOANE She's writing. A huge smile spreads across her face. He leaps. did you? FERRIS Not a glimmer. A significant amount of cash. I know it. MUSIC FADES UP. does a flip and lands on the grass on the other side of the pool.

He parks and gets out. HOUSE. CAR. The Woman looks up curiously. He's holding the house key.you in performance of your worthy and much needed survives to those so desperately in need. CU. Tom's at the wheel. A car honks. Sloane Peterson Executive Director The Ferris Bueller Foundation" 194 EXT. 195 INT. PORCH Ferris stands up. HIS POV Rooney's looking down at him. FERRIS He stares up in horror. MIRROR We see Ferris cut across a front lawn and into a house. TOM He realizes it couldn't be Ferris. CU. 197 EXT. He glances in the mirror. Joyce pulls in from the other direction. BACK PORCH Ferris tries the door. HOUSE Ferris runs through the kitchen. The key's gone. CU. He reaches down and lifts the doormat. Sincerely. 196 EXT. HIS POV. The car pulls around him. It's locked. PORCH The outline of a key in the dirt under the mat. fixing dinner and out her backdoor. EXT. He does a take. The toe of a chewed-up dress shoe steps INTO FRAME. An OMNIOUS CHORD IS STRUCK. Ferris moves to the side. FERRIS' STREET He's running down the middle of the street. 197 196 195 194 . past a WOMAN. FERRIS' HOUSE Tom pulls in the driveway. He smiles. INT.

Rooney. ROONEY He's dumbfounded. PORCH Jeanie breaks the embrace. JEANIE (to Rooney) Thank you for bringing him home. CU. JEANIE .ROONEY Looking for this? FERRIS Yes. ROONEY His eyes dart from Ferris to Jeanie to Ferris. JEANIE Can you imagine someone as sick as Ferris trying to walk home from the hospital? (shakes her head) Kids! CU. Ferris is caught. There's no way out. She feigns joy and relief. Jeanie looks out. ROONEY How does another year of high school sit with you? Suddenly. ROONEY I got you. She rushes Ferris and hugs him. (to Ferris) You better get up in bed tight now. you're alright! We've been worried sick! CU. the backdoor opens. FERRIS A moment of curiosity. Mr. Rooney gloats severely. CU. EXT. This time I finally got you. He smiles. JEANIE Thank God. His victory is evaporating. Then it dawns on him what's happening. Ferris. Ferris limps into the house.

200 INT. ROONEY A look of terror as he realizes that is was Jeanie who kicked him and that Jeanie knows it was he who she kicked. He looks at his little brother. dejected. ROONEY He senses new danger. bewildered face. GROWL. KITCHEN Kimberly and Todd are sitting at the kitchen table watching TV and eating cereal. KIMBERLY Oh. A huge smile passes over her face. 199 EXT. Rooney squeezes his eyes shut.She raises her hands and strikes a karate pose. DOG The click of the door wakes him up. shit! Ferris takes out a bottle of orange juice out of the refrigerator and drinks straight from the bottle. They look up at Ferris as he comes in from outside. CU. FERRIS No. lost. KIMBERLY (to Todd) Is he serious? TODD I think so. His head pops up off the grass. 200 199 198 . YARD. HOUSE The door closes on Rooney's defeated.C. he has Jeanie to deal with next year. We hear AN O. EXT. Not only has he lost Ferris again. He crosses to the refrigerator and opens it. 198 INT. PORCH Jeanie steps into the house. Kimberly feels her head. Jeanie comes in. but Kimberly's is. CU. TODD Ferris? Does my head look like it's getting bigger? Ferris leans against the counter as he tries to catch his breath. CU.

202 INT. JEANIE You don't have to. plants and gifts. JOYCE (OC) Ferris! Ferris continues up the stairs. KITCHEN Ferris and Jeanie exit the kitchen as Joyce and Tom enter. I'll pay you back. I've been ripping off your wallet for years. FERRIS Upstairs. guys. Ferris and Jeanie step gingerly through the flowers and head upstairs. Mom! 204 INT. FOYER The foyer is jammed with floral arrangements. JEANIE You don't have to. Jeanie. JEANIE No problem. FERRIS It's completely cool. JEANIE I'm sorry I've been riding your buns for so long.FERRIS Thanks. JOYCE (to Todd and Kimberly) Hi. 201 EXT. Ferris gives her a proud smile. KIMBERLY Is my head swelling up? 203 INT. FERRIS By the way. He affects a sickly voice. FERRIS I want to. SECOND FLOOR LANDING Ferris and Jeanie stop. 204 203 202 201 . HOUSE Joyce and Tom head up to the kitchen. HOUSE. I borrowed some cash from you.

Tongue out. You're sick. really. No sooner are the covers over him than the bedroom door opens and Joyce and Tom walk in. JOYCE Honey? CU. 205 INT. BEDROOM Tom and Joyce hover over him with deep concern. thank you. They walk over to the bed. But stay away from his brother. TOM (OC) Ferris? How do you feel? He pulls in his tongue to speak. don't make me stay home again. Joyce leans over and kisses him forehead. Dad. JEANIE Is he cool? FERRIS He's cool. FERRIS I'm much better. I want to go to school. JOYCE How did you get so sweet? 205 . TOM I know I'm right. FERRIS The same deathly face he had in the morning. TOM Ferris.. Please. Joyce sits down. brushes the crumbs off his hands and peels off his shirt. I'm graduating in June and I. Ferris walks into the room. FERRIS (deathly gasp) 150% better. There's no point pushing yourself and making it worse. FERRIS Maybe you're right.JEANIE Do you know a guy named Garth Volbeck? FERRIS Vaguely. eyes bulging.. He climbs into bed.

breathing joy and delight. FERRIS (happy sigh) Yeah. MUSIC UP BIG END TITLES THE END . A great big crazy ball of pure living. He and Joyce exit. FERRIS You gotta get one. Tom pats Ferris on the rump. A beat and we HEAR THE BEDROOM DOOR CLOSE. CU. life is a carousel. FERRIS The hideous face. He smiles. He rolls over on his back and puts his hands behind his head. Ferris looks at CAMERA.FERRIS Years of practice.