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SCREEN MAIN TITLES IT'S SILENT. A BEAT...AND AN EXPLOSION OF SOUND. A HOUSEHOLD IN THE MORNING. KIDS GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL. CLOCK RADIOS. KITCHEN APPLIANCES. SHOWERS. FIGHTING. PEOPLE YELLING. DOG BARKING. APPLIANCES BUZZING. CAR HORNS. IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOUR HOUSE DID. STREAMS OF ROCK'N ROLL FADE IN AND OUT. HUEY LEWIS TO LIONEL RITCHIE TO HUSKER DU. SURROUND MAKES IT FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN THE ROOM. AN AURAL TOUR OF A HOUSE ON A SCHOOL MORNING. BEGINING IN THE KITCHEN AND MOVING UPSTAIRS. FATHER'S VOICE (TOM) Where's my wallet?! SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY (TODD) YOU IDIOT!! TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL (KIMBERLY) MOM! TODD SHUT-UP! EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL (JEANIE) I NEED A TOWEL!! TOM JOYCE! KIMBERLY (whispers, sadistic) When you turn ten, your head's going to swell up real big like a watermelon and we're going to have to put you to sleep like they do with a dog. TODD MOM! TOM JOYCE!! JEANIE WHO PISSED ON THE TOILET SEAT!? MOTHER!! TOM 1
Where's Mom? TODD Is my head going to swell up? TOM What?! JEANIE OH, MY GOD! THE TOILET PAPER'S ALL WET!!! MOTHER (JOYCE) (screams) TOM! The house falls dead SILENT. We hear footsteps thundering through the house. A TENSE STRAIN OF MUSIC FADES UP. TODD What's that? KIMBERLY Wait! Hold still! TODD What?! KIMBERLY You heads starting to swell up!! Todd screams. We hear the sound of Tom's footsteps running through the kitchen, down the hall, up the stairs, up the hallway. A door open. TOM (breathless) What's the matter? JOYCE (worried) It's Ferris! TOM What's wrong? JOYCE (snaps) What's wrong? For Christ's sake! Look at him! 2 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS An eighteen year-old boy. He's staring lifelessly at CAMERA. His mouth's open. His eyes are bugged-out. His tongue is fat and dry in his mouth. He's laying in bed, on his side. 3 INT. BOY'S BEDROOM Ferris' parents, TOM and JOYCE BUELLER are standing at bedside. They're in their late forties, early fifties. Handsome, upper-middle class parents. They're both dressed 3 2
for work. TOM Ferris? JOYCE He doesn't have a fever. But he says his stomach hurts and he's seeing spots. 4 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS His lifeless eyes blink. 5 INT. BEDROOM. PARENTS Tom bends down and touches Ferris' forehead. TOM What's the matter, Ferris? JOYCE Feel his hands. They're cold and clammy. Tom takes one of Ferris' hands. TOM (discreetly) Should you call the doctor? JOYCE (whispers) He doesn't want me to. TOM Why don't you want Mom to call the doctor? Ferris exhales loudly. He tries to speak but all he can manage is a choked gasp. TOM What? Ferris tries again. FERRIS (raspy) Don't make a fuss. I'm fine. I'll get up. He starts to get up. Joyce gently pushes him back down. FERRIS I have a test today. I have to take it. I want to get into a good college so I can have a fruitful life... JOYCE You're not going to school like this. (to Tom) Maybe I should call the office and 5 4
tell them I won't be in. defeated) You're really letting him stay home? I can't believe this. His older sister. JOYCE (annoyed) Thank you. JEAN Yeah. you guys'd make me go to school. FERRIS Is that Jeanie? I can't see that far. JEANIE. She glares at Ferris. JEANIE You're not falling for this. Her eyes are mascara and vengence. JEAN Oh. JEANIE (to herself) Oh. walks into the room. Ferris' brother. TODD and sister. KIMBERLY Myocardial infarction? JOYCE . She's cute and stuck-up. Get to school. What's this? What's his problem? JOYCE He doesn't feel well. Jeanie. She's dressed for school. Mom. A major pill. fine. She slips out of the room. Ferris. It's so unfair. Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn. are you? Tell me you're not falling for this. I wanna puke. FERRIS Please don't be upset with me. Jeanie.Oh. right. TOM That's enough. Be thankful that you're fit and have your health.. Jeanie. Cherish it. KIMBERLY peek into the room. If I was bleeding out my eyes. I feel perfectly. Jeanie? JEANIE Pucker up and squat. God! He's gripped by a seizure.. His body stiffens and he chokes. JEANIE (angry. FERRIS I'm okay.
KIMBERLY Syphilitic meningitus? That would be a huge family embarrassment.Get your stuff. TODD (worried) Dad? Does my head look alright? JOYCE Get downstairs! Now! TODD Just answer me one question! Is it swelling up? Kim said it was going to get as big as. TOM Get downstairs! KIMBERLY If he dies. I'll just sleep. if you need me. caring parents.. FERRIS It's nice to know I have such loving.. 6 CU. JOYCE (to Ferris) I'm showing houses to the family from California today but I'll be in the area. I got dibs on his stereo. Maybe I'll have an aspirin around noon. You're both very special people. too. Daddy'll be right down. My office'll know where I am. She turns sharply and exits. FERRIS 6 . KIMBERLY (OC) A WATERMELON! TODD (yells out the room) Shut-up! JOYCE Get downstairs! NOW! Todd backs out of the room. FERRIS I'll be okay. TOM I'll check it with you.
TOM (OC) Call if you need us. FERRIS Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. 7 INT. non-specific symptom. It's a good. 8 CU. JOYCE She strokes Ferris' hair. little smile crawls across his lips. JOYCE (OC) We love you. FERRIS They bought it. BEDROOM. (looks out the window) What a beautiful day! He turns from the window. Parents are generally pretty hip to the fever scams. sweetie. FERRIS Parents always fall for the clammy hands.He acknowledges Tom with a pathetic flutter of his eyelids. She leans down and kisses his forehead. TOM Get some rest. FERRIS Ferris lets out a wheeze. And to make them work you have to go a hundred and one. The pall of the sickroom disappears in the brilliant glow of morning sunlight. It's physical evidence of illness. His glassy eyes follow his parents to the door. Tom pats his shoulder. The lock clicks. hundred and two. 10 INT. 9 CU. The MTV theme music ROARS IN. JOYCE I hope you feel better. You get a nervous mother and you end up in a doctor's office 10 9 8 7 . pumpkin. The MTV logo is playing. They close the door. BEDROOM Ferris yanks open the drapes. A sly. TV SCREEN The TV at the foot of Ferris' bed. Ferris' eyes shift from the door to CAMERA.
How can I be expected to handle high school? He bends down OUT OF FRAME as he loses his briefs. A NEW SONG begins. BATHROOM. FERRIS I don't care if you're fifty five or seven. What's the point? I'm not European. really. He turns on the shower water. who gives a shit if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists and it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Ferris' hair is standing straight up. This If I have must FERRIS is my ninth sick day with semester. SHOWER STALL. It's a little stupid and childish but then so if high school. Right? He equalizes the sound a little. So. FERRIS Fake a stomach cramp and when you're doubled over. moaning and wailing. It's littered with Jean's debris. everybody needs a day off now and then. 12 INT. 11 INT. He flips on his stereo and fills the room with the MTV broadcast. That wasn't bullshit. Inside the shower. He pops up. just lick your palms. He exits into the hallway. 12 11 . He steps into the shower. I'm probably going to to barf up a lung. FERRIS I do actually have a test. I absolutely make this one count. It's moulded into a fin with shampoo. go for ten. FERRIS It's on European socialism. I don't plan to be European. So. I mean.and that's worse than school. Through the pebbled glass of the shower door we see Ferris' outline. It's a beautiful day. FERRIS That I care about it was. BATHROOM Ferris walks into the bathroom.
.. So I said. FERRIS Not that I condone fascism. Just like that. right? On the Fourth of July he was down with my aunt and he got drunk and told my Dad he felt guilty he didn't fight in Viet Nam.. He's drying his hair with another of a different color. Afterall. he was the Walrus. I just believe in me. TWIST AND SHOUT. in my opinion are not good. It took you twenty years to find out you don't believe in anything?" (snaps his fingers) Grounded. "I don't believe in Beatles. He opens his door. BABY. "Isms". Two weeks. (pause) Be careful when you deal with old hippies. 13 INT. 14 INT.He turns the shower head around and uses it like a microphone. HALLWAY. Uncle Jeff? In wartime you want to be a pacifist and in peacetime you want to be a soldier. FERRIS My uncle went to Canada to protest the war. 14 13 . FERRIS (OC) I'm not very political? Let me put that into perspective. He should believe in himself. They can be real touchy. LATER Ferris comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist." A good point there. He opens a linen closet and tosses the towel in it. A person should not believe in an "ism". BEDROOM Ferris tosses the towel he's dried hair with on the bed. FERRIS I could be the Walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off people.. FERRIS (sings) WELL SHAKE IT UP. He passes CAMERA and goes into his room. "What's the deal. Or and "isms". John Lennon said it on his first solo album.
Alot of fights with the parents on that point. I always felt for Garth. I asked him what was wrong and he said. He drops the towel. He's a serious outsider. FERRIS My mother was a hippie. she hears memories. Mainly his older brother.. She got old. He picks it up. Nothing was wrong. But she lost it. too. He steps back from the closet and puts it on. I once watched the guy eat a whole bowl of artificial fruit just so he could see what it was like to have his stomach pumped. right? Anyway.15 INT. Do unto others. "Nothing". 16 . I'd appreciate it. It was because of his family. FERRIS In eighth grade a friend of mine made a bong out of one of these. He opens his underwear drawer. It isn't his fault that his brother's screwed-up. She only puts out so people will hang out with her. his mother owns a gas station. BEDROOM He walks across the room to his dresser. which is complete bullshit. He's in jail. I do what I can for him. There was no specific thing he was crying about. His father's dead and his sister's rumored to be a prostitute. Better to hold it against the guys who use her and don't care about her. I mean. I could see them not wanting his brother here because he is a registered psycho. I hope not. Nostalgia is her favorite drug. It'll probably be mine. FERRIS His name is Garth Volbeck. There's an old model of a submarine on the top of the dresser. 15 16 INT. He finds a shirt he likes. Not a bad guy. He gets dressed as he speaks. I'm probably his only friend. I like him. (pause) My parents never allowed Garth over here. The smoke tasted like glue.. But Garth isn't his brother. . I was sleeping at his house once and I was laying on the dark worrying that his brother was going to come in and hack me to death with an ax and I heard Garth crying. I wouldn't want him here. It's sad but I don't hold it against her. if I was him. If she listens to the White Album now? She doesn't hear music. CLOSET The door opens and Ferris rifles through his shirts. He pulls out a pair of underwear.
17 INT. The guy's so conditioned to grief that if he doesn't feel it. Garth doesn't need his brother to give him a rep anymore. TV and food. 18 INT. HOUSE. KITCHEN Ferris comes into the kitchen and crosses to the refrigerator. Otherwise you get all nervous worrying about what to do and all you get is grief and the whole point is to take it easy. He crosses to the pantry. he wasn't really even aware that he was crying. It was a habit. FERRIS That and boredom. cut loose and enjoy. He continues his speech as he disrobes. Figure that shit out. He's lost. FERRIS Unfortunately. I myself have ditched and gotten so bored I did homework. Gone from life. He takes a sip out of a bottle of orange juice. FERRIS 18 17 . Alot of people ditch and feel great for about an hour. FERRIS One very serious danger is playing sick is that it's possible to believe your own act. He's eighteen.In fact. It's over for him. STAIRCASE Ferris comes down the stairs. He just cried himself to sleep every night. He doesn't like what he's wearing. He's getting one on his own. Gone from school. Then they realize there's nothing to do. he can't sleep. now my parents have a legit argument. He looks at himself in the mirror on the back of his closet door. How could you possibly dump on guy who has to deal with that kinda shit? My parents acknowledge the trudge of the situation and I'm sure that deep down. His legacy is a gas station. FERRIS You have to plan things out before you take the day off. they do feel for him but still the guy's banned from our house. He's wearing a completely different outfit.
A prime house in a prime location. PHONE He punches out a number. 23 INT. dreary sick room. FAMILY ROOM Ferris walks in and flops down in an armchair.no. floor strewn with used tissues. modern house on a couple of deeply wooded acres.yes. And it's not always recognized. CAMERON FRYE. 21 INT. 22 EXT. He's mumbling random words. A telephone rings OVER. FERRIS He remote controls the TV on. He sets it in his lap. only a silhouette with a thermometer sticking out his mouth.. "This kid's young and strong and has a full.. what's he got to bitch about?" 20 CU. We don't see his face... A high school boy. FAMILY ROOM. FERRIS That's just one reason why I need a day off every now and then. nightstand a still-life of over the counter remedies. He emerges from the pantry with a handful of Oreos. FERRIS Some guy whose hair is falling out and his stomach's hanging over his belt and everything he eats makes him fart. ANOTHER HOUSE A sleek. 23 22 21 20 19 . U2's SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY is playing. you're going to wish you'd gone to school so you could be out having fun. he looks at someone like me and thinks.. Plan your day.You blow your day and at about three o'clock.... FERRIS There's alot of pressure at work in my age group. when everybody's out of school. Do it right. FERRIS Avoid the misery. BOY'S BEDROOM It's a dark.shelter. Shades drawn. CAMERON Food. 19 INT. rich future ahead of him. He reaches over and picks up the telephone. is laying in bed.
FERRIS' VOICE Is your mother in the room? Cameron takes the thermometer out of his mouth. FERRIS It's all in your head. FERRIS' VOICE How do you feel? CAMERON Shredded. I can't go anywhere.The phone rings. Now. His hand reaches back and hits the speaker phone button. FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry to hear that. CAMERON'S VOICE I can't. Get dressed and come over. FERRIS I'm taking the day off. 24 INT. I'm sick. 25 24 . Cameron slowly hangs up the phone. FERRIS' FAMILY ROOM. 25 INT. come on over and pick me up. FERRIS Ferris is sprawled out in the chair. Come on over. Ferris. Ferris disconnects. CAMERON She's not home. CAMERON (weak) Hello? FERRIS' VOICE Cameron! What's happening? CAMERON Very little. CAMERON I feel like complete shit. CAMERON'S ROOM Cameron's insistant. CAMERON I'm dying. Where are you? FERRIS' VOICE Home.
TEACHER'S VOICE Anderson. scuffed heels.. 27 INT. TEACHER'S VOICE Albers? BOY'S VOICE Here. in two weeks you'd have a diamond. (after-thought) And Cameron would worry that he'd owe taxes on it. He's a little easier to take when you know why he's like he is.. TEACHER'S VOICE Busch? GIRL'S VOICE 27 26 . SCHOOL.The phone rings again. I've come close myself. rotting Air Jordans. it's Cameron. But I like him. FERRIS If anybody needs a day off. Cameron hits the speaker button. He has alot of things to sort out before he graduates. TEACHER'S VOICE Anheiser? BOY'S VOICE Here. The boy cannot relax. CAMERA enters a classroom. GIRL'S VOICE Here. HALLWAY We hear roll call as CAMERA MOVES ACROSS the tile floor. pristine loafers. Pardon by French but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass. A shoe's POV. His roommate'll kill him. You just can't think of anything good to do. He can't be wound this tight and go to college. It travels past a teacher's Hush Puppies and heads up an aisle of desk past dirty yellow Reebocks. 26 INT. FERRIS' FAMILY ROOM Ferris hangs up. FERRIS' VOICE You're not dying.
TV The force of the rapid acceleration of his vehicle throws Humongous back in his seat. FERRIS He's sitting in the arm chair pretending it's Humongous' war wagon. He's wearing a hockey mash. 28 . Simone. He gives it a twist. He's steering.Here. I guess it's pretty serious. TV Humongous reaches down and grabs a real nitrous oxide valve. GIRL'S VOICE (cheery) No problem whatsoever. CU. (pause) My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass-out at 31 Flavors last night. He reaches down and grabs an imaginary nitrous oxide valve. 28 CU. TEACHER'S VOICE Bueller? GIRL'S VOICE He's sick. CU. CU. TEACHER'S VOICE Drucker? BOY'S VOICE What? WOUND-OUT CAR ENGINES COME UP LOUD. INT. TEACHER'S VOICE (weary) Thank you. TV THE ROAD WARRIOR is playing on video cassette. The big chase at the end. FERRIS He throws himself back against the chair. FAMILY ROOM. TEACHER'S VOICE Bueller? CAMERA reaches the last desk and rises slowly to reveal that it's empty.
But. books. PINK FLOYD'S "MONEY" 29 . He comes up with a five. you should not alientate them. CU. Clothes everywhere. It's Jeanie's room.CU. Ferris is sitting on her bed going through a purse. hey. Petite pink flowers. make-up. how gross they act or how wicked and insensitive they can be. FLOWERING TREE BRANCH Outside a bedroom window. He comes up with a crumpled dollar bill. I'll pay it back. FERRIS This is really degrading. TV The was wagon hurtles down the road. With interest. FERRIS He rears back in horror. CU. I'm broke. 29 CU. TV IMPACT! MOZART COMES UP. head thrown back. FERRIS He bounces himself in the chair to simulate the bumpy high speed ride. WE PULL BACK FROM THE WINDOW INTO THE ROOM. Very damaging to the self-image. FERRIS Financing my activities this way. CU. He holds up a twenty and snaps it. how often they rat on you. A flowering crabtree branch. records. Because most likely they have cash and it's usually very easy to get your hands on. In times of crisis one must to what one must to. CU. A pink and powder blue pig pen. braced for collision. FERRIS Regardless of how much shit sisters make you eat. FERRIS Arms outstretched. CU. TV The war wagon is heading for a head-on collision with the tanker truck.
30 INT. It's slowly opened to reveal a crisp. WASHING MACHINE TOP A couple of stiff. new five. A roll of Tums. KITCHEN DRAWER Hands ripping through the kitchen junk drawer. Another crumpled bill surfaces. Fingers pick a dime out of a matted wad of filth. the quarters are being popped out of their slots. dirty contents of the bag are emptied on the floor. a five and a single enclosed in a lucite frame. 40 CU. 39 INT. A squirt gun. 37 CU. 34 CU. SNOOPY BANK It's being shaken furiously. A hand peels the bills off the backing. A screwdriver tip wedges between the two pieces of Lucite and pops them apart. 35 CU. Then a modest wad of bills. Locating a dollar bill. One-by-one. HALL CLOSET The door opens and Ferris thrusts his hands into the pockets of the coats. A hand scoops them up. A U. LIVING ROOM The song plays as Ferris digs through the sofa cushions. A ten.S. 38 CU. COIN COLLECTION The familiar blue collector's album. 36 CU. Mint proof set. He closes the door. bleached singles that have gone through the wash lay on top of the washer. 31 INT. hard. 33 CU.COMES UP. CU. His face lights up as he counts out the cash. BIRTHDAY CARD It's a child's card. He comes up with a ball of Kleenex. FLOOR AND BED 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 . 32 CU. VACCUUM CLEANER The dusty. SOFA Ferris extracts a sticky quarter from a crevice. LUCITE ENCASED PROOF SET An obvious gift from a grandparent. PARENTS' BEDROOM Ferris is going through his father's pants pockets.
48 EXT. It pries the door open. a Zippo lighter and. JOYCE Oh. I completely forgot to call. KITCHEN Ferris is on his hands and knees under the kitchen table. FERRIS' BED A shower of coins and bills rain down on the sheets. KITCHEN Ferris stands up and pockets the quarter. a charred doll's head. 42 INT. my God. She take the call. suburban high school. Let's be realistic. finally. AGENT 1 Mrs. JOYCE No one's going to consider a house with a black living room. Across from her are two WOMEN. The SONG ENDS. 43 CU. Her eyes open wide with alarm. JOYCE Joyce Bueller. OFFICE Joyce is behind a desk. 45 CU. 44 INT. a five dollar bill. 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 .Ferris' face appears between the bed and the floor. MORNING A suburban realty company. HIGH SCHOOL A modern. I'm so sorry. REAL ESTATE OFFICE. Inside are trading cards. An awl is driven in between the door and the jamb. Not even those jerks from Vermont. 46 EXT. BANK It's on a work bench. Volbeck's dead set against putting any money into the house. 47 INT. 41 CU. TABLE LEG Ferris lifts the leg and removes a quarter that's been used to balance the table. His arm reaches out for a small metal bank hidden under the bed. A cute little building in town. They're also real estate agents. Joyce's phone intercom buzzes.
51 50 49 . I had a meeting first thing this morning. Short. neatly combed hair. INT. He removes his feet from the desk and turns in his swivel chair. 50 INT. Mrs. JOYCE'S VOICE I don't understand. JOYCE'S VOICE Yes. Ferris is home sick. behind the sign. JOYCE'S VOICE This is all news to me. DEAN'S VOICE I just had his file up. CU. SCHOOL. The hall is clogged with students. I am. ROONEY If Ferris thinks he coast this last month and still graduate. DEAN'S OUTER OFFICE A SECRETARY is at work at her desk. ROONEY I just has his file up. We hear the dean inside the office. He's toying with a pencil. COMPUTER MONITOR The monitor on Rooney's desk displays Ferris' records. He's confident to the point of arrogance. SCHOOL. DESK SIGN It reads. He's tough. It completely slipped my mind. HALLWAY It's a passing period.MAN'S VOICE Are you aware that your son is not in school today? 49 INT. Moderately priced dress shoes. OFFICE. DEAN'S OFFICE. DEAN ED ROONEY is sitting behind his desk. he's sorely mistaken. DEAD OF STUDENTS. I should have called. suit and tie. Bueller. EDWARD R. ROONEY. clean and straight as an I-beam. Behind him is a computer terminal. DEAN'S VOICE Are you also aware that Ferris does not have what we consider an exemplary attendance record? 51 INT. The dean's feet are up on the desk. CU. CU.
he's truly a very sick boy. 54 53 52 . I got a computer. LED METERS The meters on the amplifier are totally in the danger zone.. I can appreciate that at this time of year children are prone to taking the day off. SPEAKER The grille cloth is throbbing. SOLO GUITAR. Including today. 54 INT. but in Ferris' case. He reads off the screen. I debated whether or not I should even leave him. OFFICE Rooney turns to the monitor. ROONEY I have it right here in front of me. He looks closer at the screen.ROONEY'S VOICE So far this semester alone. JOYCE'S VOICE Nine times? Under DAYS MISSED we see a number 9 suddenly change to a number 2. TV MONITOR We see Ferris in his room with a guitar around his neck. CU. FERRIS' ROOM Ferris is at his Macintosh computer. He's missed. JOYCE I can give you every assurance that Ferris is home and that he is. in fact. CU. CU. How's that for being born under a bad sign? 53 INT. INT.. JOYCE'S OFFICE She's still on the phone with Rooney. FERRIS I wanted a car. He has his record up on the screen. very ill. He's playing. 52 INT. FERRIS' BEDROOM MUSIC BLASTS. he's been absent nine times.
She kicks her locker shut. I mean I heard he's really sick. 55 INT. JEANIE Who said he's sick. 56 INT. HALLWAY 58 57 56 55 . SCHOOL. GIRL This guy in my biology class said that if Ferris dies he's giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder? He's really sweet isn't he? She smiles and exits. I don't know.CU. (point to the phone) Freshman. They said he's like on the verge of death. GIRL A whole bunch of people. JEANIE What're you sorry for? I have to live with the trouser snake. GIRL No. I'm bricking heavily. HALLWAY Jeanie is at her locker during a passing period. SCHOOL. GIRL I'm really sorry about your brother. man. CAMERON'S ROOM He's sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt. Jeanie cocks her head in bewilderment. FERRIS' ROOM He's in bed on the phone. A GIRLFRIEND comes up to her. (to the phone) Did you see Alien? When the guy had the creature in his stomach? It feels like that. 57 INT. He sighs deeply and fall back on the bed. Jeanie stares incredulously at the girl. FERRIS A sample of my blood was sent to Atlanta to the Center for Disease Control. 58 INT. VIDEO CAMERA A home video camera is capturing Ferris on tape.
(pause) Huh?. We gotta split. BOY You never rented the video cassette? Second boy shakes his head.. BOY Anyway. SECOND BOY (to Third Boy) Shit. He's getting me out of summer school. I appreciate you letting us know how you're doing. GIRL Hello? (pause) Who? (pause) . The boy snatches a passing GIRL. BOY Goddamn! Are you kidding? SECOND BOY What? BOY Did you see Alien? SECOND BOY No.. BOY Oh. why? He hands her the phone.A FRESHMAN BOY is on the pay phone.Yeah. He's really wasted. BOY Did you see Alien? GIRL Yeah. sure. I hope he doesn't die. no. THIRD BOY (to the Second Boy) Who's he talking to? SECOND BOY Ferris Bueller. A couple of his BUDDIES are standing at his side waiting anxiously for news. I can't handle summer school. You know him? THIRD BOY (excited) Yeah. Hold on.
ROONEY That's exactly why I have to catch him this time. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's comparing his computer monitor to hard copy. SECRETARY (impressed) Ooo. ROONEY What's so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is that he gives the good kids bad ideas. His SECRETARY is standing over his shoulder. Ferris. Ed.Hi. 61 INT. As he speaks he does a little 61 60 59 . you better not throw anybody. Rooney looks up at her with a proud smile. ROONEY I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him! SECRETARY With your bad knee. wonkers. Rooney stares at her for a long beat. ROONEY Really? He unconsciously does an Eastwood squint. Sportos. pinheads. How's your bod? (jaw drops) Oh. FERRIS' ROOM He's on the telephone. The last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. my God! You're dying? Is it serious? (pause) Shiit! Are you upset? 59 INT. geeks. motorheads. FERRIS' HOUSE It's a glorious late spring day. they all adore him. richies. To show these kids that the example he sets is a first class ticket to nowhere. A florist's truck drives past the house. SECRETARY He's very popular. 60 EXT. sluts. dweebies. Ed. You sounded like Dirty Harry just now.
He sounds like he's on his last breath. DOWNTOWN A LaSalle Street office tower. It's almost summer. Take some Pepto Bismol and get dressed. He clears his throat and answers the second line. you can find a new best friend. TOM'S VOICE Ferris? 65 INT. TOM'S OFFICE 65 64 63 62 . FERRIS You want to stay home and try to have the shits? Try to barf? Try to feel worse? CAMERON'S VOICE I don't have to try. if you're not over here in fifteen minutes. 62 INT. If this was Hawaii. CAMERON I'm sick. I'm serious. I feel like shit. A Modigliani nude. OFFICE BUILDING. FERRIS Squeeze you buns for a second. Why can't you leave me alone? FERRIS' VOICE You're not up for some good times? It's a beautiful day. He puts Cameron on hold. I got another call. CAMERON'S BEDROOM Cameron's back in bed.MacPainting on his MacIntosh. FERRIS Cameron. man. The other phone line rings. we'd be surfing. This is bullshit. You're boring me with this stuff. FERRIS Be a man. FERRIS' ROOM He's growing weary of Cameron's wimpishness. FERRIS H--hell-o? 64 EXT. making me wait around the house for you. 63 INT.
It was making me ill looking at it. INT. COMPUTER MONITOR A closer view of the rude drawing Ferris is making. FERRIS' ROOM He leans back from the monitor and sips a Coke. TOM Were you sleeping? FERRIS' VOICE I was trying to do some homework. Are you busted? FERRIS It's completely cool. I had a chest spasm and I blew lung fluid all over the place. FERRIS Dad? Can you hold on a second? TOM'S VOICE Sure. He disconnects and gets his father back. it's sure great of you to call. Nice office. FERRIS Cameron? It's my Dad. The moment before you called. FERRIS (OC) I'm so worried about falling behind. But gee. Hold on. He switches back to his sick voice. Herman Miller desk and chair. 66 . listen to me. Dad. He puts his father on hold. He's just checking up on me. I'm working on getting some heavy bucks out of him. Now. FERRIS' VOICE Really? Darn! I thought I was improving. that's just great. the least you can do is hurry up and get over here. 66 CU. FERRIS Sorry. Are you alright? FERRIS Just a little phlegm on the phone. Bye.He's behind his desk. CAMERON'S VOICE Oh. TOM You sound miserable. pal. So. Two windows.
what was I supposed to do? Ferris reaches out and hits a key on his computer. The screen dumps the drawing. FERRIS' ROOM He turns away from the computer and puts his feet up on the desk. FERRIS You work so hard I'll bet you don't even remember where those bonds are. sick teenager. CHICAGO LOOP. INT. TOM'S VOICE Wrong. Pedestrians stop to look. 68 INT. FERRIS You had to work hard for the money to buy those things. He nods. It's like those savings bonds you used to give me every Christmas. DIAMONDVISION SCREEN Ferris' drawing suddenly appears on the billboard. CU. right? TOM'S VOICE Not any harder than anybody else. 67 EXT. Ferris mouths Tom's words as he says them. Dad. pal. FERRIS Give yourself some credit. He lights a cigarette. 68 67 . You're just trying to cheer me up.I'm sure there're alot of fathers who wouldn't take time out from their busy schedules to call a dumb. It was a mammoth gesture. COMPUTER SCREEN A message is flashing: "TRANSMITTING DATA". right? Ferris points a finger in the air as a cue to his father. yeah? You're pulling my leg. FERRIS' ROOM He blows a smoke ring. TOM'S VOICE Hey. FERRIS Oh. (looks at CAMERA and smiles) It was that kind of concern.
He's gotten exactly what he wants. Dad. FERRIS (to CAMERA. He turns his desk chair around and gets up. TOM'S VOICE I want to. I hope my kids don't pull this shit on me. FERRIS You don't have to. you lose some. He hangs up. 69 . Ferris smiles. They're in a shoebox in my closet. sick voice) Dad? All this talking has made me kind of light-headed. I'll call you after lunch. (to the phone. You take care.TOM'S VOICE Like hell I am. CAMERON FERRIS disappointed in Cameron. I take it back. bucks says he's sitting car debating about whether he should go out. (thinks) Of course. TOM'S VOICE Okay. I'm so Twenty in his or not 69 INT. He looks at CAMERA. normal voice) Was that a class move or what? The guy gave it up faster than a drunk Catholic girl. CAR. CAMERON We're gonna get caught. No doubt about it. Ferris sighs. Bye now. pal. FERRIS You win some. if they didn't. He cuts the engine. I think I better lie down. CAMERON He's sitting behind the wheel of his car. they'd be dumb and abnormal and they'd probably never move out of my house and I'd have to support them until I die.
He leafs through the pages for the pictorials as he speaks. CAMERON He'll keep calling until I come over. what'll happen is I'll get caught. He's the only guy I know who's deeply concerned that when he grows up there'll be a critical shortage of strategic metals. FERRIS Cameron's also the only guy I know who knows what strategic metals are. The hands lift a sweater out. ominously. DRESSER DRAWER Hands curl around the drawer pulls. We HEAR THE TOILET SEAT SLAM DOWN. He goes into the bathroom. 72 INT. HALLWAY Ferris comes out of his room and heads down the hallway. He stops the engine... The drawer is opened slowly. FERRIS (sings) MAYBE I'M JUST LIKE MY MOTHER. 70 CU. He exits the room. FERRIS' ROOM He takes out the magazine. FERRIS Cameron'll go on like that for a good thirty minutes. LATER 72 71 70 . A CRASH OF HORROR MUSIC.I'm not doing it. Another beat. Ferris'll escape. The reason he doesn't fell good is. He sits for half a beat. 71 INT. CAMERON Actually. The guy is a shellfish when it comes to making a decision. Another beat. A HERALDIC STING as we see a men's magazine beneath the sweater. He sighs and restarts the engine. SHE'S NEVER SATISFIED. CLASSROOM. (waves the magazine) Pardon moi. INT. he worries about everything.
NURSE Sloane Peterson? SLOANE Sits up in her seat. ROONEY He has a suspicious look on his face. SLOANE A smile curls across her lips. INT. NURSE She's a picture of compassion and understanding. watches the nurse curiously. SLOANE PETERSON. SLOANE She. SLOANE (whispers) Dead grandmother. NURSE (nods solemnly) Dead grandmother. For a moment.A stunningly beautiful girl. 74 73 . As she gathers her books she looks to the GIRL next to her. (sneezes) Pardon me. NURSE May I see you outside for a moment? There's been an emergency. She looks at the kids. 74 CU. 73 INT. like the others. The classroom door opens and the school NURSE walks in. the teacher thinks she's come in because she heard him sneeze. HALLWAY The Nurse is gently holding Sloane's hand. She's staring out the window as a tweedy MALE TEACHER delivers a dry. CLASSROOM. He nods grimly to the Nurse. She crosses to him and whispers in his ear. is sitting at her desk in a history class. TEACHER AND NURSE The teacher's face drops as he's delivered an obvious piece of disturbing news. dusty lecture. TEACHER Roosevelt's health had seriously deteriorated by the time he met with Churchill and Stalin at Yalta.
She puts the call on hold. I see her alot with Ferris Bueller. His secretary is standing across from him. SECRETARY That's what Mr. She stops and answers the desk phone. ROONEY Ed Rooney. Peterson's daytime number? As the secretary starts out of the room. I had Florence Sparrow notify Sloane. SECRETARY Do you still want his number? Rooney answers her with an annoyed look. Rooney smiles. Peterson said. SECRETARY Edward Rooney's office. ROONEY Who's this girl's going with? SECRETARY It's so hard to tell. He thinks for a beat then reaches for the phone. ROONEY Could you get me Mr. She smiles and backs out. sir? MAN'S VOICE We've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's at his desk. He punches the phone button. Rooney's phone rings. SECRETARY It's Mr. . (pause) Yes. Peterson. MAN'S VOICE Ed? This is George Peterson. Can you hold? Thank you. His suspicions are confirmed. ROONEY How are you today. Rooney is startled.ROONEY Dead grandmother? INT.
She's waving her arms furiously. ROONEY What!? SECRETARY Ferris Bueller's on line two. You hear me? The secretary comes in.Rooney rolls his eyes. It's school policy. She puts the call on hold and hangs up. 76 INT. The secretary stops cold in the doorway. I'd be happy to release Sloane. SECRETARY'S OFFICE She steps out of Rooney's office and picks up the other line. 76 75 . Cart the stiff in and I'll turn over your daughter. She stomps her foot. 75 INT. Her jaw drops. I want to see this dead grandmother firsthand. ROONEY (whispers) It's Ferris Bueller. Was this your mother? Rooney's other line rings. He covers the phone. SECRETARY Ed Rooney's office. He's angry. I'm gonna set a trap and let his walk right into it! (to phone) That's right. ROONEY I heard. You produce a corpse and I'll release Sloane. sure. gosh. Rooney tries to wave her away. She hurried into Rooney's office. I'm all broken up. SECRETARY Hold. Nervy litttle punk. please. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney's chewing out the person on the other line. Rooney covers the phone. you can just come on down and smooch by big old ugly ass. It's so obvious it's not Mr. you don't like my policies. ROONEY I'll tell you want. She turns to Rooney in horror. Huh? Oh. And. Peterson.
CU. The phone's cradled against his shoulder. ROONEY He blinks. CU. KITCHEN Cameron's on the phone in the kitchen. ROONEY He's staring blankly ahead. FERRIS Mr. He nods. FERRIS' VOICE Thank you. twitches. CAMERON You oughta be sorry for Christ's sake! A family member dies and you insult me. 77 INT. 78 INT. He's doing a deep. CU. PHONE The second line light is flashing.CU. ROONEY He winces as he returns to the first call. DEAN'S OFFICE. 79 INT. FERRIS' ROOM He's zipping his pants. He speaks in the same voice he used on his father. FERRIS' HOUSE. He glances at the phone. cocks his head. phoney "father" voice. ROONEY'S FACE A mask of horror. PHONE Rooney's finger gingerly presses the button on the waiting call. CU. What's the matter with you. CU. ROONEY'S FOOT It freezes in mid-tap. anyway? 79 78 77 . sir. CU. ROONEY'S HAND The pencils falls from his fingers. Rooney? I'm sorry to disturb you at work but I was wondering if it would be possible for my sister to bring home any assignments from my classes that I may need. fastening his belt.
80 INT. I thought you were someone else. buster. KITCHEN Cameron lays into Rooney. I can't begin to tell you how embarrassed I am. CAMERON (clears his throat) I don't have all day to bark at you so I'll make this short and sweet. Peterson. DEAN'S OFFICE. CAMERON That's better. goddamn it! ROONEY'S VOICE Sir. ROONEY I don't know. Ferris! What is Rooney guesses my voice! FERRIS Impossible. sir. ROONEY Absolutely! I most certainly am. that I would never deliberately insult you. ROONEY He apologies profusely to Cameron. 80 81 INT. CAMERON (to Ferris) I'm scared shitless. trembling. CAMERON'S VOICE Pardon my French but you're an asshole! Rooney nods enthusiastically. 81 . Cameron covers the phone. CAMERON This isn't over yet. You just make sure my daughter's out in front of the school in ten minutes. Do you read me? ROONEY'S VOICE Load and clear. Ferris strolls into the kitchen to catch the last of the conversation. You have to know. Mr. Cameron sighs and goes back to the phone. He's perspiring. You're doing great. CAMERON Call me sir.
CAMERON You do it! Ferris waves his arms angrily. By herself. We'll get together soon and have lunch. 83 INT. ROONEY He winces as the phone hits the floor with a loud CLONK! We HEAR THE BOYS SCRAMBLING TO PICK UP THE PHONE. CAMERON'S VOICE On second thought.. CAMERON What'd I do? FERRIS Out in front my herself? It's too suspicious! He'll think something's up.. The phone flies out of his hand. He's said the wrong thing. He covers the phone. We HEAR A SLAP AND THE CALL DISCONNECTS. 82 CU. Cover it. fella. CAMERON I changed my mind. I don't have time to talk to you. 83 82 . You be out in front with her! I wanna have a few words with you! Ferris slaps Cameron. I don's want anyone around. THEN CAMERON CLEARING HIS THROAT. Ferris smacks Cameron. FERRIS Talk! Cameron takes a deep breath. Cameron panics. FERRIS' KITCHEN Cameron's rubbing the side of his head. moron. CAMERON I want my daughter out in front of the school in ten minutes. He holds the phone out to Ferris.Ferris gives Cameron an enthusiastic thumbs up. He clears his throat and puts on his father's voice. FERRIS (mouths) Great! Cameron smiles proudly.
Look. You get me out of bed. Cameron's anger is intensified by his embarrassment. God. CAMERON You hit me. FERRIS I didn't deliberately hurt your feelings. CAMERON I was home. make me do a phoney phone call on a dean of students. don't ask me to participate in your crap if you don't like the way I do it! Ferris is incredulous at Cameron's stupidity. really? FERRIS Yeah. . a man who could squeeze my nuts into oblivion and then you deliberately hurt my feelings. really. being me over here. CAMERON Oh. make me jeopardize my future. sick. I lightly slapped you.CAMERON Why'd you hit me?! FERRIS Where's your brain?! CAMERON Why'd you hit me?! FERRIS Where's your brain?! CAMERON Why'd you hit me? FERRIS Where's your brain? CAMERON I asked you first. FERRIS How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney's going to be there with her?! CAMERON I said for her to be there alone and you freaked! FERRIS My. you're so stupid! (aside) I didn't hit you.
Cameron smiles. Cameron stops. He appreciates Ferris apology. It was uncalled for. right? Not that is was necessarily all you fault. 84 . CAMERON Thanks.Cameron glares at Ferris. 84 INT. The end of the world is at hand. Cameron's jaw drops. FERRIS You did screw up through. Cameron is frowning with trepidation and fear. Right? CAMERON (suspiciously) Why? FERRIS To fix this situation. FERRIS Dead serious. Light streams in to reveal Cameron and Ferris looking at the car. He turns and heads out of the room. FERRIS Cameron. dramatically as we hear a heraldic fanfare. GARAGE The door opens slowly. Ferris. FERRARI STALLION The prancing black stallion. CAMERON You're serious? He turns around. Ferris sighs. We move up from the stallion to the erotic red hood of a 1958 Ferrari 250 GTS California. CAMERON AND FERRIS Cameron's face is ashen. CAMERON Hey. Ferris? Have a nice life. FERRIS Cameron? CAMERON Stick it up your ass. Ferris is smiling with excitement and awe. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jam you. I'm going to have to ask you for a small favor. CU.
FERRIS It is his fault he didn't lock the garage. we'll take off. CAMERON He never drives it. CAMERON Ferris. He puts his arm around Cameron. my father loves this car more than life itself. We can't take is out. He just rubs it with a diaper. . it is his passion.000. this is real simple. Ferris. Less than a hundred were made. it is his love. It has a market value of $265. It is joy. CAMERON He knows the mileage. I have to envy yours.Ferris is in heaven. Rooney'd never believe Mr. Cameron. Ferris. I'm sorry but there's nothing else we can do. He has it tatooed on his wrist. Look. My father spent three years restoring it. look. FERRIS He doesn't trust you? CAMERON No. FERRIS Alright. FERRIS We can't pick up Sloane in your car. CAMERON It's not a piece of shit. CAMERON (grim monotone) 1958 Ferrari 250 GTS California. Don't worry about it. FERRIS A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile. Peterson drives that piece of shit. FERRIS Whatever miles we put on it. I don't even have a piece of shit. FERRIS It's a piece of shit.
FERRIS 87 86 85 . Cameron's in the back.CAMERON (suspicious) How? FERRIS (big. proud smile) We'll drive home backwards. CAMERON Are you crazy?! Put the top back up! FERRIS This is perfect top-down weather. 86 EXT. SCHOOL. FERRARI GRILLE Cameron's protests are drowned out by the distinctive roar of the twelve cylinders. I have to live with the man. SCHOOL The Ferrari is parked out in front. The roar of the engine is overtaken by the sound of a crowded school hallway.. Cameron shakes his head. the less likely we are to get caught. Ferris. You'll have to think of something else. CAMERON'S VOICE . no. He's wearing a man's hat and sunglasses. I'm putting my foot down. FERRARI Ferris is driving. the more obvious we are. CAMERON What about Rooney? FERRIS Cameron.. Jeanie watches her suspiciously. CAMERON Forget it. 87 INT.. CU. CAMERON That makes no sense whatsoever. I'm sorry but.... Sloane has her coat on and she's carrying her books. JEANIE She comes out of a classroom.You're not talking me into this one. She stops as Sloane and Rooney walk past. 85 INT. The top is down.
THEIR POV Ferris is looking out across the roof of the Ferrari. Cameron squeezes himself lower. She hurries to the car. See ya. Very. 89 88 .The adult mind is a suspicious machine. SLOANE Huh? ROONEY Were you close to your grandmother? SLOANE Oh. SLOANE I guess that's my Dad. SCHOOL. SCHOOL Rooney's suspicious. Sloane! Dear! Sloane looks across at the Ferrari. He's careful to keep his nose and mouth below the roofline. Something does compute for him. ROONEY Once again let me say how deeply saddened I am by your loss. Yeah. She was a terrific lady. DEEP VOICE Oh. SCHOOL Rooney and Sloane come out the door. CAMERON Howcome it's my Dad's car and I'm taking all the risk and I have to ride back here? FERRIS I don't have an explanation. 89 INT. man. Very hip. Thanks. (look around at Cameron) Stay down. Rooney watches her. JEANIE She's watching out the door. She sees the Ferrari pull away. Um. Rooney looks. FERRIS Hurry along now! EXT. Very old. Yeah. Sloane smiles and bids Rooney a hasty farewell. 88 EXT.
FERRIS Either would I. FERRIS (to CAMERA) If you had access to a car like this would you take it back right away? Would you give up feeling like a ton just to ease your best friend's tension? He smiles.90 EXT. 90 91 INT. No. the question is "what aren't we going to do. ROONEY He can't quite put his finger on what's bothering him. FERRIS It was risky. SLOANE This is so great! I can't believe it! Right in front of Rooney! She laughs and turns to Cameron. You comfortable? CAMERON Hi." CAMERON Don't tell me we're not going to take the car home. SLOANE Hi. It' s going home. it was bold but it was totally necessary. SCHOOL. 92 . STREET. SLOANE What a fabulous car! CAMERON Enjoy it quick. She leans across the console and gives Ferris a kiss. FERRARI Sloane shrieks with delight. 91 92 EXT. Please. Cameron. SLOANE What're we gonna do? FERRIS The question isn't "what are we gonna do". FERRARI It accelerates away like a shot.
SUBURBAN BANK A fresh. She smiles when she sees Ferris. Froeling. Cameron's having stomach trouble. this is Mrs. TELLER I passed a kidney stone Tuesday. As she moves the beehive hits a small sign over her head. FERRIS Hello. FERRIS Me? (polite laugh) I'm out of school. Ferris smiles. She's been at the bank since they opened. FERRIS (to Cameron) And this is my brother-in-law. DOORS Ferris.. I'm married. Sloane's still intoxicated with her freedom. Mrs. 94 . INT. It's about four inches higher the highest beehive you're ever seen.Madonna. (something occurs to her) Say. ZZ.93 EXT. How are you? TELLER She pats the rock-solid mass of blue hair. so I'm a little pooped but other than that. Froeling. The clock outside read 9:53. The Ferrari pulls into the parking lot. In fact. Ferris is cocky and confident. Cameron blanches. Ferris leads the way to an open teller window. Sloane suppresses a laugh. I'm as chipper as can be. ZZ Top. 93 94 INT. Cameron and Sloane walk in. On either shoulder are Cameron and Sloane. Froeling. This is my wife. should you be in school? FERRIS He lays his savings bonds on the counter. BANK. BANK. In doing so she locates a missing ball point pen. TELLER Ferris Bueller? FERRIS He's at the window. TELLER A WOMAN about seventy with a silver blue beehive.. She withdraws it from the hair and smiles at it's reappearance. modern bank building. Mrs.
Cameron isn't amused. TELLER (to Cameron) Is Top a Slavic name? CAMERON Yeah. FERRIS I'd like to cash these in, please. We're having a baby and we need the cash for a crib, clothes, diapers, food pellets, leash, water dish... INT. BANK. TELLER WINDOW Mrs. Froeling takes the bonds with a hearty smile. The latter part of the conversation sails over her like a line drive. TELLER A baby! (to Sloane) You must be so excited. Cameron groans and turns away from the sham. SLOANE I'm thrilled, ma'am. I'm especially looking forward to wearing those jeans with the stretch panel in front. Mrs. Froeling thumbs through the bonds. TELLER Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? SLOANE Actually, we're hoping for a car. CU. CAMERON He's spooked by the games playing. He scans the bank nervously. He blinks, focuses, blinks again. HIS POV Joyce is with a MIDDLE-AGED COUPLE and their bored, sour-puss teenage son, BOYD. He's sitting in a chair with his legs slung over the sides waving a Bic lighter back and forth across his rump. The parents are Joyce's clients from Vermont. A LOAN OFFICER is discussing the local financing situation with them. His is an open office adjacent to the teller windows. Joyce's back is to the tellers. CU. CAMERON
It's like he's just witnesses an ax murder. CAMERON Shit... INT. BANK. JOYCE Her back is to the teller windows. She's conducting her meeting. Behind her we see Cameron grab Ferris and point her out to him. He waves. Cameron slaps his arm. INT. BANK. TELLER WINDOW Mrs. Froeling shows Ferris the savings bonds. TELLER These bonds aren't mature. If you hold onto them another two years you'll get an additional four dollars... FERRIS I'm aware of that. TELLER You're throwing away four dollars. FERRIS No, ma'am, I'm giving it to the government. They need it. Do you know what an aircraft carrier's going for these days? INT. BANK. JOYCE She concludes her meeting. She shakes hands with the loan officer and stands. The Vermont Couple stands. Boyd scrapes the bottom of his shoe on the desk, leaving a glob of mud behind and he stands. Joyce turns into the bank. Ferris, Cameron and Sloane are gone. She escorts her customers out. INT. BANK. DOOR Joyce and the Vermont Couple approach the doors. Boyd lays a luggie in the drinking fountain. Mrs. Froeling passes with the savings bonds. She stops when she sees Joyce. JOYCE Mrs. Froeling, how are you? MRS. FROELING I passed a kidney stone Tuesday. (shifts gears, to Joyce) Say, you must be very proud. Joyce doesn't know what she's talking about. MRS. FROELING (whispers) I met Madonna. She pats Joyce on the arm.
MRS. FROELING She told me everything. Keep me posted, I'll want to send a gift. She toodles on her way. Joyce and the Vermont Couple are completely baffled. 95 EXT. BANK Joyce and the Vermont Couple walk along the side of the bank, heading for the parking lot. Boyd's tagging along behind. He picks up a stone and hurls it into the parking lot. JOYCE My son's home sick today. If you wouldn't mind, on our way back to the office, I'd like to just run in and check up on him. We HEAR A METALLIC PING! as Boyd's missle hits a car. MOTHER Of course. They pass a show window. As they pass, we hold on the window. It's promoting saving for college educations. A mannequin father is congratulating his mannequin son in a mortar and gown as a stiff Sloane, Ferris and Cameron look on proudly. 96 INT. DEAN'S OFFICE His secretary is dialing a number for him. SECRETARY This is the Peterson's home. She hands the phone to Rooney. SECRETARY Watch your mouth this time. Rooney glares at her. ROONEY Ferris Bueller's behind this. There's no doubt in my mind. That's what I was saying this morning. Why he has to be stopped. He's got Sloane Peterson involved in this thing now. See? The secretary nods. SECRETARY And her grandmother, too. 97 CU. PHONE ANSWER MACHINE It clicks on. We hear a grieved woman's voice. It sounds an 97 96 95
ROONEY Who gives a good goddamn? 101 EXT. CAMERON'S VOICE You have reached the Coughlin Bros. Mortuary.. the Hancock Building and the Standard Oil Building. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney quickly takes down a number. ROONEY What? SECRETARY My brother-in-law rides the train to work.. If you need to reach us we'll be at the following number. In the distance we see the Sears Tower. SLOANE We can't come to the phone right now. ROONEY Something's going on. 99 EXT. She's not listening to him. SECRETARY There's a railroad strike. puzzled. DEAN'S OFFICE Rooney hangs up the phone. 101 100 99 98 . Rooney looks at her.awful lot like Sloane. The Ferrari streaks past. We hear Cameron's voice. CAMERON'S HOUSE His answering machine clicks on. The secretary's looking at a newspaper on Rooney's desk. goddamn it. We are unable to come to the phone right now but if you'll leave your name and number. 100 INT. We've had a death in the family.. ROONEY And I'm going to stop it! SECRETARY My brother-in-law'll appreciate it. 98 INT. Rooney stares at her like she's crazy. EDENS EXPRESSWAY The major thoroughfare into the city of Chicago from the suburbs..
103 EXT. KID They run about fifty g's so it you could help out. CHICAGO LOOP. wrecked. you name it. GARAGE Ferris. FERRIS 103 . PARKING GARAGE The Ferrari pulls into a large parking garage. JEANIE Go piss up a flagpole! KID Huh? 102 She knocks the can out of his hands and storms down the hall. HALLWAY Jeanie's walking down the hall. She's stopped by a KID with a Coke can. We're collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. KID Hey.. Sloane and Cameron get out. scratched. The kid yells after her. EXT. babe! Some day you might need a favor from Ferris Bueller! Then where'll you be?! He reaches for the can. Jeanie stares at him. SCHOOL.. KID Heartless wench. She's flabbergasted at the proportions her brother's scan has reached.. CAMERON We can't leave the car here! FERRIS Why not? CAMERON Because we can't! I want it back home where it belongs! SLOANE What could happen to it? CAMERON It could get stolen.102 INT. KID Yo.. Cameron's having fits.
The Ferrari pulls into the lot very slowly. SLOANE This is so right! Ferris nudges Cameron on. It's gone in the entrance and out the exit. Shoulder-length hair stuffed into a hairnet Gold teeth. EXT. No squealing tires. FERRIS See what a finski can do to a person's attitude? He's going to treat it like a beautiful woman. FERRIS Great. FERRIS I appreciate it. very carefully. please. I want to you take extra special care of this vehicle. PARKING ATTENDANT He smiles with relish at the car. okay? He pats the Attendant on the arm. ATTENDANT Like it's a beautiful woman. A long beat and the Ferrari creeps down the exit ramp of the garage. CAMERON Yeah. PARKING LOT The Attendant swaggers over to the car. An IQ that equals his hourly wage. Do you have to be so graphic? She heads down the street. The Attendant very gingerly gets into the car. no revving engine. SLOANE Oh. He smiles. CAMERON What guy? CU.I'll give the guy a five to watch it. Ferris turns to Cameron. FERRIS You speak English? ATTENDANT Since I was three. Goatee. 240. Whip it with a stick and piss on the hood. . Cameron. 6'6". sure. They exit the garage and head after Sloane. Another attendant jumps in the passenger side. Earring. Ferris slips him a give.
He lets out a spirited laugh and the Ferrari peels out of the lot. JOYCE She smiles and closes the door. 107 INT. ROOM. 108 INT. 104 EXT. INT. CLOSET The closet door is open. It's taut. There's a figure in the bed. DOOR KNOB The wire is tied to the doorknob. HER POV The door opens and the figure-like lump in the bed moves. FERRIS' HOUSE 104 Joyce's care pulls in the driveway. WE HEAR THE SNORING. STAIRWAY Joyce quietly walks up the stairs. She gets out and heads up the house. HOUSE. CU. It heads down the street away from Sloane. 106 INT. tall. A trophy is attached to the end of the wire and it's resting on a yard stick. we hear a door open and close.He's skinny. HALLWAY Joyce comes up the stairs and crosses to Ferris' room. FERRIS' ROOM It's dark. Downstairs. HALLWAY Joyce listens at the door another beat. We hear soft snoring. 105 INT. CU. the trophy lifts up off the yardstick and the lump in the bed goes back down to it's original position. DOORKNOB Joyce slowly turns the doorknob and pushes the door open a crack. HOUSE. The snoring it simulated. Ferris and Cameron. A wire runs from under the bed covers to the closet door to the door to the room itself. The wire from the bedroom door is strung over the top of the closet door. ROOM. CU. with a huge knit hat willed with dreads. FERRIS' SYNTHESIZER Little LED's are lighting up to the rhythm of the snoring. As the bedroom door closes. 109 INT. She listens at the door. 109 108 107 106 105 . She's smiles with relief and affection.
Ferris steps back. From our vantage point here on the 103 floor. SLOANE Oh. Indiana. Wisconsin and my personal favorite. SEARS TOWER OBSERVATION DECK Ferris. CAMERON I don't feel good. As it passes we see three figures pressed against the windows.. CAMERON (VO) Do you think the car's alright? FERRIS (VO) Illinois. A dizzying view. Cameron follows. shit! HER POV The street far. LATER 110 HELICOPTER SHOT moves in on the world's tallest building. OBSERVATION DECK The three are leaning against the glass. FERRIS (VO) This is the world's tallest building.. He leans forward. FERRIS Now. Sloane leans forward. putting all his weight on his forehead. Ferris. lean against the glass. INT. Sloane and Cameron follow suit.. we are provided with a view of four states.110 EXT. reluctantly. FERRIS And look down. Michigan. Like this. Cameron and Sloane are standing against the window. SLOANE What if the glass gives? FERRIS Death. Are we gonna stay long? FERRIS Take a step back.. SEARS TOWER. 111 INT. far below. SLOANE 111 .
They dance past the giant Calder mobile. CAMERON I think I see my Dad. FERRIS AND SLOANE I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLS! 115 EXT. They're singing. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE. clean. Cameron politely waits his turn to exit. CAMERON'S FATHER I think I see my car. Ferris and Sloane head down the street. He's lean. Cameron's father. Cameron and Sloane are sitting in the gallery watching the proceedings. 117 INT. is standing on the street corner. TRADING ROOM Traders are frantically buying and selling commodities. Cameron follows. STREET Ferris and Sloane burst out the doors garnering the annoyed stares of the business people busily going in and out of the building. CU.Cool. 116 INT. FERRIS AND SLOANE I BEEN ALL 'ROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AND I'VE SEEN ALL KINDS OF GIRLS YEAH. CAMERON He's looking down. HORACE FRYE. GALLERY Ferris. STREET LEVEL A middle-aged man. Cameron follows glumly. BUT I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET BACK IN THE STATES BACK TO THE CUTEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA 114 EXT. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE Giant old monolith. tough and humorless. 117 116 115 114 113 112 . He's wearing a puzzled look on his face. 112 EXT. SEARS TOWER LOBBY Ferris and Sloane bound down the escalator. HIS POV The Ferrari screams down the avenue and disappears down the underground ramp. 113 INT.
FERRIS True. FERRIS Would I trash a day of education to be with you if I didn't love you? SLOANE Yes. FERRIS (serious) Today? Sloane stares at him. SLOANE Sure. Is he serious. FERRIS Would I risk damaging a deep and wonderfully enriching relationship with my parents if I didn't love you? SLOANE Yes. Ferris puts his arm around Sloane. FERRIS Yes. FERRIS Would I have introduced you as my wife if I didn't love you? SLOANE Wait a minute. FERRIS Would you want to get married? I mean if I wasn't an asshole.SLOANE Do you love me? FERRIS Do you love me? SLOANE I asked you first. SLOANE No way! . You? SLOANE Yes. That was a lie. FERRIS I'm game.
CAMERON You need a blood test. (to Ferris) You've seen them. FERRIS So? CAMERON So. SLOANE I'm not getting married. if you will. CAMERON They're married and they hate each other. Ferris and Sloane look at him curiously. give me a good reason why not. Ferris looks around at him. babe. Am I right? . CAMERON I'll give you two. FERRIS Huh? CAMERON If your blood's not compatible. FERRIS Tomorrow? CAMERON If you get a blood test today. The state requires a blood test. FERRIS Why not? SLOANE What do you mean. My mother and father. FERRIS Besides being too young and your father hating my guts and not having any place to live and feeling awkward about being the only cheerleader with a husband.FERRIS I'll do it. Cameron suddenly adds his two cents. you could produce a pinhead. you can't get married today. why not? Think about it. CAMERON I'm with you.
FERRIS (to CAMERA) This is all news to me. SLOANE Do they like you? It hasn't occured to Cameron that his parents might not like him.my father canned me and my brother and my Mom for a twenty five year old dipso with fake tits. SLOANE Do you think they're staying together because of you? Cameron hasn't seen it that way.. He dropped us like a rock. It's like the car. SLOANE My parents are divorced. SLOANE (to Cameron) It was pure selfishness. He hates his wife. So what? It's not like it doesn't happen ten thousand times a day. Everything was cool at our house. SLOANE Consider this. Sure. Are yours divorced? CAMERON They may as well be. but so what? They're old. Then BLAM! It's over. CAMERON Just because it happens doesn't make it right. I thought so. It's not something I can get comfortable with.FERRIS You're father's a toad and your Mom's always wired out. That parental love might not be a given. He loves the car. I don't care how much I want . She keeps a pretty good secret. Are you comfortable with it? SLOANE No. When I have a kid. That's natural. We all thought so. I've tried.. He shrugs. CAMERON It makes me puke. CAMERON Yeah. Seeing people treat each other like that.
something. It's out of your hands. I should just sit back and watch it crumble? SLOANE You're merely an inhabitant in their universe. SLOANE They call the shots. SLOANE Yeah. forget it. FERRIS This is optomism. It's a common trait with my age group. Adults think it's cute. They wish they had her. When you split from them. thank you. But I'm gonna try not to. you call the shots. deep down. you know what? It ain't up to you. you're saying I should run away? FERRIS No. if it's gonna screw-up the kid. crusty old shits wish they had some. She's saying it's time for lunch. CAMERON So. too. I'm gonna think about it. SLOANE What? FERRIS Let's go feed Cameron. . She's taken. SLOANE Well. I in other words. it's like a charming quick that infests youth. (points to Sloane) Sorry. CAMERON You could change. I'm gonna try to prevent it. CAMERON So. But it's a cool thing and I think. FERRIS Frightening choice of words. CAMERON I'd rather not have my family break apart. FERRIS (to CAMERA) She's not lying.
. son. FERRIS Is there a problem? MAITRE'D You're Abe Frohman? FERRIS I'm Abe Frohman. Ferris is looking at the maitre 'd's reservations book. The maitre'd looks at Ferris curiously. It's noon. MAITRE'D (to Ferris) May I help you? FERRIS Yes. RESTAURANT A French restaurant on the Gold Coast. Sloane tugs Ferris' sleeve. ANNOUNCER Commodity prices rose sharply today in unusually heavy trading. 119 EXT. I'm Abe Frohman. Ferris hangs back a moment. Cool and casual. FERRIS BUY! And he exits. We HEAR A RADIO ANNOUNCER. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE. Party of three for 12:00. He yells at the top of his voice.They stand up and head out. If you have trouble finding the door. 118 INT.. He ignores her. 120 INT. HIS POV His fingers runs down to a party of three for 12:00. RESTAURANT Ferris. INT. Sloane and Cameron are standing in the restaurant. TRADING FLOOR 118 It explodes with activity in response to Ferris' shout. 120 119 . RESTAURANT The maitre'd returns. He cups his hands to his mouth. I'm very busy right now... MAITRE'D (chuckles) I'm sorry.
Abe. INT. let's split. We're gonna get busted. The maitre'd backs off. Ferris waves him off angrily. FERRIS I'm not going anywhere. Better yet. PHONE Ferris punches out a number. Cameron chokes. A beat and the restaurant's second line lights up and the phone rings.I'll call myself. CAMERON Ferris... FERRIS You touch me and I yell "rat!" There's another phone around here.. He hands the phone to Sloane. FERRIS Ask for Abe Frohman. RESTAURANT The maitre'd motions for the phone so that he can answer the call. (to the Maitre'd) Call the police. (grabs the phone) . Sloane and Cameron are seated in the restaurant... Go ahead. MAITRE'D I appreciate your understanding. LATER Ferris. Find it. The maitre'd is hovering over Ferris.FERRIS Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am? MAITRE'D Shall I call the police? CAMERON Let's go. INT. Sloane grits her teeth. please? SLOANE Cameron's right. FERRIS Not a chance in the world.. The maitre'd smiles smuggly. CU. . RESTAURANT.
MAITRE'D Enjoy your luncheon. you were wonderful. GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM Jeanie's sitting on a bench in a field hockey uniform. She's talking to a FRIEND. Shame on you. dear friend? Cameron looks to Ferris. Sloane is impressed. (wicked pause) Well. She yanks angrily on the velcro strap on her sneakers. 122 121 . FERRIS Cameron. vicious) I'm gonna bust his buns. Just leave us to our repast and all will be forgotten. babe. but I had a wonderful teacher. The maitre'd backs away. JEANIE (mean. JEANIE (VO) Ferris Bueller's days are numbered. Ferris smiles. He manipulates my parents.FERRIS Don't grovel. Cameron is flushed with nerves. SCHOOL We HEAR HALLWAY SOUNDS AND JEANIE. whenever he wants and he never gets nailed. 121 EXT. FERRIS Darling. FERRIS And you thought we wouldn't have any fun. he does whatever he wants. FRIEND Why? What's the point? JEANIE Why? Because I'm sick of the little dope. Ferris disappears behind his menu. SLOANE Oh. The straps rip off in her hand. FERRIS Thank you. Charles. 122 INT. today I'm the hammer.
does everything but verbally confirm.FRIEND I think he's cute. She displays the velcro straps to her friend. He's not charming. JEANIE Sweetie. wags her head. JEANIE See? My brother strokes you. He's not a wonderful person. Who else? FRIEND I don't know. JEANIE Who does? Her friend smiles sheepishly. JEANIE Excuse me? FRIEND I don't think you're an asshole. I try to be everything a good. I work hard. I'm considerate. JEANIE Rachel's a dirt bag. Ferris is not cute. you sympathize with him. it's an established fact that you have no taste. I'm polite. He's not nice. I'm friendly and fair to all kinds of people. Except morons. Just forget it. JEANIE Forget that everybody thinks I'm an . JEANIE Let me tell you something. Jeanie freezes with her next sentence pinned to her tongue. He's an ignorant mule and the sooner everybody in this school comes to that realization the better off we'll all be. I get pissed off and this is what happens! Jeanie tosses the straps on the floor. I study hard. decent person should be and you know what? FRIEND Everybody thinks you're an asshole. JEANIE Rachel? Jeanie's friend shrugs.
A fat fifty year old clod with B. hey. likes me. Her friend exits.. Jeanie.asshole? Would you like everybody to think you're an asshole? FRIEND Not everybody thinks you're an asshole. FRIEND You really do have a problem. JEANIE (yells after her) If it means anything to you. Jeanie. That's exciting. Jeanie shakes her head in disbelief.O. GODDAMN IT! . JEANIE I this a conspiracy to shit all over me or something? Is my brother behind this? Tell me if he is or I'll sock your tits. JEANIE Me? I have a problem? FRIEND Somebody who threatens to sock people's tits has a problem. How about if I sock your face? Jeanie's friend gets up. I have my period! MY BODY'S RIDDING ITSELF OF OLD EGGS. JEANIE Would everybody be happier if maybe I were to die in a flaming car accident or something? FRIEND Maybe if you didn't cat like and asshole.. JEANIE Oh. Mr. JEANIE Am I acting like an asshole? FRIEND I didn't mean it that way. FRIEND Take a walk. JEANIE Alright. Rooney likes you.
That's why he's sick all the time. He checks his hair in the mirror. It really upsets him. What he said about his parents hating each other? I refuse to sleep over at his house. His parents fight all the time. FERRIS When they go after each other. JEANIE He's gone. It used to worry me. Basically. I don't know where she gets this shit. FERRIS Cameron's home life is really shit. FERRIS I wonder if everybody shoots at cigarette butts in urinals? Probably not many women. 123 INT.She snarls and slumps against the lockers. Another beat and Tom walks out of the stall. Even when I'm there. It's scary. He crosses to 123 . He zips this trousers and steps away from the urinal. He's monkey meat. (continues) I used to think that my family was the only one that had weirdness in it. He wasn't lying. We hold a beat. CHEZ PAUL Ferris is standing at the urinal. A toilet flushes. It teaches him to deal with his fear. Her body is a transport vehicle for her anger. the family's pretty cool. MEN'S ROOM. you couldn't pry his buns apart with a crowbar. He exists the men's room. Then I met Cameron and I saw how his family functioned. The thing with taking his old man's car? It's good for him. Plus. I love driving it. Cameron tightens up. He gets so wadded-up. He looks down at the urinal. He's over. Is there anything worse than being at somebody's house when their parents are fighting? It's the absolute height of social discomfort. I highly recommend picking one up. FERRIS She's a person who views life as an ordeal that must be endured. and I must be honest here.
Clouseau! The waiter stops and looks at Ferris indignantly. Ferris slides over to the table and drops into his seat. A WAITER passes. He takes a bite. 124 . He savors the taste. FERRIS Good? Sloane and Cameron shrug. FERRIS What are you doing? Cameron looks at Ferris. They chew tentatively. He puts his napkin in his lap and smells his plate. CAMERON What is this shit? FERRIS You got me.the sink. FERRIS Splendid. They're staring at the plates. Ferris stops him. But it looks like it's already been eaten and digested. CAMERON I knew it was a mistake letting Ferris order for us. FERRIS I think it's a land-based beefoid creature. It's not bad. I don't speak French. Cameron and Sloane try theirs. 124 INT. CAMERON Really? FERRIS Superb. CAMERON What is it? SLOANE I don't know. RESTAURANT Cameron and Sloane have been served their lunches. FERRIS Yo.
FERRIS Uh. And what might that be? WAITER Pancreas. SLOANE AND CAMERON They stop chewing. CU. They're holding their sweetbreads in their mouths. WAITER He turns away as Sloane and Cameron spit out their food. talking. FERRIS As in the gland that has important functions in digestion and metabolism? CU. Could you tell me what we ordered here? The waiter glances at the plates. A 125 .. He raises a finger. colorless fluid containing digestive enzymes? The home of the world famous isles of Langerhans? CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON They look at each other. huh. holds it a beat and gives a cue.That secretes a thick. RESTAURANT Tom and his two GUESTS are standing at the curb. CU. FERRIS He continues his questioning. FERRIS He watches Sloane and Cameron then glances at the waiter. knowing that he's spoiling the kids' meal. please! 125 EXT. FERRIS He pats his mouth with his napkin. WAITER Sweetbreads.. CU. He looks to Cameron and Sloane. FERRIS Check. FERRIS .FERRIS I have a growth on my brain that causes memory lapses. WAITER He nods broadly. CU. CU.
G. The door's open. Sloane. Sloane and Cameron. MUSEUM.000 restaurants in the downtown area and I pick the one my father goes to. 127 126 . Sloane and Cameron come out of the restaurant. Ferris. CAB Ferris slams the door. INT. Let's go. They approach the cab. FERRIS No way. Ferris stops cold. Sloane and Cameron turn slowly. DISPLAY CASE Baby chicks are hatching in a huge. MUSEUM. FERRIS. CAMERON They turns on cue at Tom. Ferris scoots Sloane into the cab. CAB DOOR HANDLE A man's hand reaches for the handle as the cab pulls away. STREET. 126 EXT. MUSIC COMES UP. MUSEUM. Cameron.. Ferris. INT. He turns to the cab. Only the meek get nabbed. RESTAURANT Tom and his guests watch in bewilderment at their cab takes off. The bold survive. turns toward the restaurant. INT. Behind the backs of the men. FLOOR A class of kids walking along holding hands. 127 INT. for sure. EXT. holding hands looking like giant grade schoolers. MUSEUM OR SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY The grand old Chicago museum. CU. OVERHEAD SHOT The main gallery is crowded with school kids. Tom's back it to Ferris. round incubator. CAMERON We're gonna get nabbed.G. EXT. Cameron dashes in. SLOANE. Among the second graders are Ferris. Sloane and Cameron slowly approach the cab. FERRIS 40. In the B. CAB Tom and his party are still jawing at curbside. The Ferris hops the cab.cab is waiting. now in the B.
clutching his heart. CAMERON (VO) Are you guys worried about nuclear war? FERRIS (VO) Cameron. MUSEUM. 128 EXT. Ferris is lost in thought. MUSEUM. SLOANE. HIGH SHOT From the Merchandise Mart. COAL MINE Sloane. INT. the screw turns. PROPELLER For the first time in forty years. we're traveling down one of American's most scenic polluted waterways and you have to bring up nuclear war? SLOANE (VO) 128 . He checks to see if he's being watched then he presses a button and pulls a lever. The ninth month. A boat is rolling up the man-made canyon. INT. walk-thru replica of a human heart. we've won our freedom. HEART REPLICA A giant. LONG. Ferris and Sloane are making out. A tiny human being in a jar. it's a beautiful day. INDUSTRIAL DISPLAY Sloane operates a metal press to produce a tin ashtray. HUMAN FETUS IN A BOTTLE The famous stages of life display which features bottled fetuses. green swath of water. feigning a massive heart attack. INT.Ferris and Cameron are intently watching the process. INT. looking down the fetid. CU. FERRIS. SLOANE (remorsefully) I wonder if he has a name? FERRIS (blank) Ninth Month. CAMERON Sloane wants to cry. CU. Ferris and Cameron ride in the coal train in the coal mine replica. MUSEUM. Ferris staggers out of it. The MUSIC ENDS. Cameron's stomach is in his throat. CHICAGO RIVER. CU. GERMAN U-BOAT Ferris is examining the controls of the captured U-Boat.
SLOANE (VO) Don't you think it's an issue because people need something to worry about? They have to like. They used to have the oil crisis stuff and Iran. deadly serious) Do you know what a nuclear winter is? Long beat. it's real cold and the skiing's for shit. I'm not worried about it at all. FERRIS (VO) We don't know when the bombs going off. The possiblity of global destruction. It's not like somebody came up with the nuclear holocaust yesterday at noon. BOAT DOCK The three are sitting on the aft deck of the tour boat.It is kind of raggy subject. That's over and people have to have their big issue. The boat makes the turn in the river and CLEARS FRAME. EXT. Everybody's dead. FERRIS He's full of shit. CAMERON (VO) (dramatic. Cam... SLOANE (VO) Yeah. Very casual. We do know. you know. SLOANE (VO) To answer your question.No. Discussing the end of the world. that college starts in the fall. CAMERON (VO) Regardless. however. . very relaxed. SLOANE My step-father's always going off about how when he was young he was committed to all these causes. FERRIS They used to have Viet Nam. have some major problem that puts all their little bullshit into some kind of persepective? CAMERON (VO) Maybe. All the old hippies are full of shit. Their feet are up on the railing. It's with us every day.
CAMERON What's spooky is they still control everything. Cameron looks over the side of the boat. CAMERON I feel better now. FERRIS One of the most frightening experiences of my young life has been observing my parents and our neighbors playing the Baby Boom Edition of Trivial Pursuits. An obtuse thought flashes through Sloane's brain. FERRIS What's he care about now? SLOANE Baldness. It's chilling to see people crazed with the minutia of their past. FERRIS I rest my case. . The three look to the left. fatty meats and money. FERRIS... CAMERON It's human nature to like what you had better than what you have. FERRIS An hour ago you wanted to yack. A loud speaker on the boat identifies a point of interest. They took over when they were young and they never gave it up. SLOANE Agreed. CAMERON You know.SLOANE He says I don't care about things like he did. FERRIS Lean over and grab a fish. SLOANE. CAMERON The Sears Tower. LOUDSPEAKER TO YOUR LEFT IT THE WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING. LOUDSPEAKER. this is all very interesting but I'm starving.
JEANIE Is Dean Rooney in? SECRETARY I'm sorry.and it'll continue to piss me off and I'll get so wadded-up that it'll cause cervex cancer and he'll ruin my life. Screw him. CU. 129 EXT. The secretary looks up and greets her with a weary smile. Slide across to the sidewalk. Move up to reveal Rooney standing at the door of his bile-green LeBaron. In his mind he is Dirty Harry.but it's for his own good. Can I help you? JEANIE (condescending) I seriously doubt it. FIRE HYDRANT .. Rooney peels off his shades and looks around like he's Dirty Harry. CU.. SCHOOL Meanwhile. he's out.. He left the grounds on personal business.. 132 EXT. Rooney's dress shoe steps out onto the pavement. When's he back? SECRETARY I don't know. CURB 132 131 130 129 A car tire rolls into FRAME and stops. JEANIE It's reprehensible to squeal on your own flesh and blood. His cavalier attitude will get him into trouble later in life. Jeanie walks in. Jeanie. 131 INT. DEAN'S OUTER OFFICE Rooney's secretary is behind her desk. Who's bothering you now? Jeanie scowls at her.SLOANE What comes after a nuclear winter? FERRIS Nuclear spring.. She slips into the Dean's outer office. HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE DEAN'S OFFICE Jeanie is having a small moral debate with herself. STREET. SECRETARY Hello. 130 INT..
CU. ROONEY The blood evacuates his face. She raises it. EXT. CU. The player looks up. GIRL She stares at him. secretaries. GIRL 133 . CU. It's a GIRL. ROONEY He squints CU. ROONEY (OC) I've been waiting a long time for this. She puts the straw to her lips and sucks. Rooney pushes his way in and scopes the crowd. ROONEY (OC) Your ass is mine. She picks up her Coke. 133 INT. It's loud and confusing. STREET Rooney straightens his tie and jacket and slips into a rowdy hot dog joint. suburban businessmen. GIRL Holding the straw in the mouth. she draws it out of the cup. He smiles and cuts into the crowd. He can't think of anything to say. CU. THE BACK OF THE VIDEO PLAYER'S HEAD MOVE IN on the player. The player turns around. ROONEY He's still staring. CU. It look sort of like Ferris.Rooney's dres shoe on the hydrant. CU. HOT DOG STAND It's jammed with construction workers. CU. pointing it directly in Rooney's face. He ties his lace and pulls up his sock. He stares at the girl. ROONEY He suspects it's Ferris. HIS POV A young person is playing a video game in a far corner.
FERRIS I think I broke my thumb. Rooney wipes his suit off. WRIGLEY FIELD. He shakes his stinging paw. Rooney wads up the napkin and tosses it in a trashbin. SLOANE No wonder you're always sick. He does a little celebration dance. The TV camera returns to the game. INT. ROONEY Who's winning? HOT DOG MAN Cubs. She looks at them with disgust. ROONEY What's the score? HOT DOG MAN Zero to zero. The TV camera zooms in on the boy triumphantly holding the foul ball aloft. Cameron's scarfing nachos. There's a long foul ball. puts his hands behind his head and turns his face to the bright sun. Rooney nods and exits. you broke your thumb. Behind him is the kitchen and a grease-covered TV set broadcasting a Cubs baseball game. It's Ferris. SLOANE Can we leave now? FERRIS You want to leave? We just got here. CU. Rooney glances at the screen. A kid makes a stab at the ball. what's left to do? Cameron offers his nachos to Sloane.She blows a strawful of Coke in Rooney's face. 134 EXT. HOT DOG STAND. 134 . The TV camera follows the ball into the stands. NAPKIN HOLDER A hand yanks a napkin hold. SLOANE You got a call. Ferris leans back. STANDS Ferris sits down with the baseball. On either side of him are Cameron and Sloane. SERVICE COUNTER Rooney wipes his face.
water. 137 EXT. Cameron mumbles a few words. right now I'd be in gym? 135 EXT. soldiers. HIGH SCHOOL. STATE STREET. CAMERON Stop. Selfish little moron. STATE STREET. CAMERON It's hard not to. EXT. He's leading the girls in singing. Cameron breaks a smile. As worried as he is about the day and getting caught. Marching bands. It's GERMAN-AMERICAN APPRECIATION DAY. drum and bugle corps. he has to admire Ferris for his lack of inhabitions. A blue Fiat pulls into the shot. She sneaks a glance at the school.. They wave to him. He and half a dozen homely German-American Beauty Queens. Figure skating club in outfits and skates performing their routines on pavement. buddy.. school kids. He's waving to the crowd.. (pause) Ferris? You're overshadowed me long enough. 136 INT. FLOAT Riding atop on a float is Ferris. PLAYING FIELD A boy's gym class is doing laps. EXT.FERRIS Do you realize that if I played by the rules.. SLOANE Do you believe in reincarnation? CAMERON Huh? . Floats and politicians.. "DANKE SHOEN".want.. She puts the car in gear and drives out of the shot. FIAT Jeanie's at the wheel. SLOANE AND CAMERON They're watching Ferris go by. STATE STREET 137 136 135 A parade is underway. SLOANE I love him. JEANIE I can't believe my brother's making me put myself in a position where I could get expelled. I'm gonna get you.
dude! EXT. FERRIS Guten tag. reaching down from the float. The guy who rode the elephants into Switzerland. SLOANE DO you ever wonder what you were? CAMERON I don't have to wonder. EXT. SLOANE I think if he was anybody. . CAMERON What were you in a previous life? SLOANE I'm not sure but I think I know who Ferris was. STATE STREET. Cameron nods. SLOANE I could see him ignoring popular belief and taking off on some impossible mission. SLOANE From the A-Team? CAMERON No.SLOANE Do you believe that you lived before? CAMERON Yeah. Sort of. the guy who went around the world. I know. You know. Sloane laughs at herself. They step out of the crowd and head down the street in the direction the parade's heading. FLOAT Ferris is on his knees. CAMERON I was a tractor tire. shaking hands with people in the crowd. STATE STREET Sloane and Cameron continue their conversation. Sloane looks at him with amazement. CAMERON Hannibal. he was Magellan.
CAMERON Yeah. COME ON. BABY FERRIS TWIST AND SHOUT! GIRLS TWIST AND SHOUT! FERRIS COME ON. everything works for him. FLOAT Ferris is playing "TWIST AND SHOUT" on the accordian. No options is worse. I can't handle anything. BABY ON! COME ON AND WORK IT ON OUT! GIRLS WORK IT ON OUT! EXT. isn't it? Cameron doesn't understand what she means. SLOANE The future's worse for a boy. but it's an option. the future. COME ON. CAMERON That's a pretty grim thought. SLOANE AND CAMERON They continue their conversation. There's nothing he can't handle.CAMERON Yeah. BABY. but to do what? . parents. The girls on the float are singing. CAMERON I don't know what I'm gonna do. Ferris can do anything. SLOANE True. SLOANE College. EXT. FERRIS WELL. SLOANE A girl can always bail out and have a baby and get some guy to support her. As long as I've known him. School. STREET. STATE STREET. SHAKE IT UP. NOW! GIRLS SHAKE IT UP.
STREET. OLD NEWSPAPER SELLER He singing along. STREET. NEWSPAPER SELLER TWIST A LITTLE CLOSER! EXT. We HEAR "TWIST AND SHOUT" GROWING LOUDER AND LOUDER. PUNKS A band of PUNKS are dancing on the roof of a news kiosk. EXT. STREET MOTHER AND HER CHILDREN A WOMAN and her two TODDLERS sing along. MARCHING BAND They're playing TWIST AND SHOUT. CHOIR GROUP . STATE STREET. STREET. CAMERON What do you think Ferris is gonna do? EXT. TEENAGER COME ON AND TWIST A LITTLE CLOSER! EXT.SLOANE What are you interested in? CAMERON Nothing. POLICE OFFICER YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD! EXT. STREET. The sons is taking over all the other tunes in the band. WOMAN YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO FINE! TODDLERS LOOK SO FINE! EXT. BLACK TEENAGER He's wearing a shower cap and a maroon overcoat. They walk on for a few beats. MOUNTED POLICE OFFICER He's singing. SLOANE Me either. STREET. It's infecting the entire parade. PUNKS LOOK SO GOOD! EXT.
DECK The entire parade is singing and playing "TWIST AND SHOUT". STREET. CLERGYMEN AH! EXT. STREET. POLITICIANS AND WIVES AH! EXT. Grim. 138 . Cameron's father's car flies OVER CAMERA. Suddenly. 138 EXT. STREET. They're singing in their angleic voices. The Starship Ferrari. CALUMET CITY The Port of Chicago.They're marching down the parade.. STREET. SLO-MO. FLOAT Ferris leads the Beauty Queens in the rousing finale. WIDE AND HIGH The entire parade is at frenzy pitch. FERRIS AH! EXT. EXT.. Like the opening shot in Star Wars. VETERANS Marching in formation and in WWII uniforms. STREET. STREET CLEANERS With their brooms ready. CHOIR AND LET ME KNOW THAT YOU'RE MINE! EXT. STREET. VIEWING STAND The POLITICIANS and their WIVES stand up. STREET. PARADE AHHHHH! The SOUND OF THE VOICES blends with the SOUND OF A RED-LINED HIGH PERFORMANCE ENGINE. VETERANS AH! EXT. STREET CLEANERS KNOW THAT YOU'RE MINE! EXT. VIEWING STAND The CLERGYMEN stand. gritty waterfront.
CU. FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry I can't come to the door right now. We HEAR FERRIS' VOICE. The car's shadow passes over them. FERRIS' ROOM. EXT. HOUSE. I'm very ill and I'm afraid that in my weakened condition. 141 INT. FERRIS' HOUSE Rooney gets out of his car. SLO-MO. FOYER Rooney's at the front door. SLO-MO. I'd like to have a word with you.CU. CU. FRONT PORCH The house intercom activates. Maniac at the wheel. EXT. He looks at the house. KIDS They're looking up in the air. RASTAMAN His eyes are closed. SLO-MO. HOUSE. We MOVE UP to reveal Rooney behind the wheel of his car. HOUSE. Mouth open. COMPUTER It acknowledges the doorbell. excited smiles. STREETS. FERRIS Who is it? Rooney presses the intercom. PARKING ATTENDANT His eyes are wide with exhilaration. 140 INT. 139 CU. following the car as it flies over them. FERRARI UNDER-CARRIAGE It travels past to reveal a beautiful blue sky. Broad. CU. I could take a nasty spill down the 142 141 140 139 . looks up and down the street. We see him peek in a window at the top of the door. then crosses to Ferris' house. ROONEY This is Ed Rooney. Ferris. CAR GRILLE It fills the frame and stops. The doorbell rings. tongue out. SLO-MO. CASSETTE PLAYER It clicks on. Big smile. 142 EXT.
It will be remembered long after this illness has past. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Rooney presses the intercom. HOUSE. Rooney presses the intercom again. FERRIS' VOICE Have a nice day.. His voice clicks off.stairs and subject myself to further school absenses. There's no response.. 144 INT. Ferris. He can't quite figure out what's going on. ROONEY Don't get smart with me Ferris! FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry I can't come to the door right now. I'm very ill and I'm afraid that in my weakened condition. We HEAR FERRIS' VOICE inside. FERRIS' VOICE Who is it? Rooney doesn't realize that he's listening to a recording. Thank you for stopping by. Rooney leans back from the door.S. Rooney presses the intercom again. 143 INT. Come down here. FERRIS' VOICE You can reach my parents at their places of business. The pre-recorded litany starts over. FERRIS' VOICE You may reach my parents at their places of business. Rooney rings the doorbell again. LIVING ROOM Rooney steps through the hedges and peeks in the windows. But's it's highly suspicious. 144 143 . There's a pause. ROONEY I'm not leaving until you come down and talk to me. HOUSE. KITCHEN Rooney tries to peak in the kitchen window. ROONEY I'm not leaving. ROONEY B.
It will be remembered long after. EXT. DOGGIE DOOR A Rottweiler bursts through the doggie door in a fury of gnashing teeth and foam. nearly deserted strip joint. Cameron's mouth is open in amazement. LARGE BREASTS Tassled pasties twirl like airplane propellers. I'm losing respect for you by the bucket.. this is nauseating me. into the dining room.FERRIS' VOICE I appreciate your conern for my well-being. His face freezes. ROONEY He's peaking through the door. 146 CU. BACKDOOR A black rubber doggie door. FERRIS You don't think it's amazing that we got in? SLOANE Who wants to get in? FERRIS Cameron looks like a toddler. He lifts the doggie door and peeks in the house. FERRIS Have a nice day. The type that allows a dog to come and go as it pleases. Through the kitchen. 145 EXT. FERRIS She's probably schizophrenic. HOUSE. Rooney is crouched down.. one goes the other. Sloane is embarrassed and revolted. CU. FERRIS AND SLOANE They're sitting in a booth in the garish. CAMERON How does she do that? One goes one way. for Christ's sake. HIS POV Along the kitchen floor. He hears the dog. We hear a LARGE DOG GROWL. Really. CAMERON. I'm talking about 146 145 . HOUSE. SLOANE Ferris. CU.
SLOANE I'm not interested in watching someone jiggle their mammary glands. Cameron and Sloane disappear into darkness. He climbs up on the little runway. And we feel it. FERRIS Maybe her life fell apart.. You acted strange. do-wop track FADES UP.. A parent. Now. Maybe she lost somebody. Ferris stands up from the booth. SLOANE I'm not a tramp. You seemed to change. A sappy. FERRIS Honey. Then came act two. It's a terrible thing. Act one was when we met. Why she does it and you don't. A lover. (to CAMERA) This kind of thing makes me a little depressed. And SAT scores and acne aside. the stage is bare and I'm standing there with emptiness all around and if you won't . A child. curls his lip and affects an Elvis impression. He flips his collar up. I think alot of people my age are. someone said the world's a stage and each must play a part. But that's not true. I'm a romantic.a major achievement in false identification. You may think because I'm the age I am that I'm a sex maniac. we worry about lonliness. He strolls slowly through the empty club as the stripper bumps and grinds in a pool of blue light. The club lights go down. I've never known. You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue. you lies when you said you loved me and I had no cause to doubt you. FERRIS You know. Fate had me playing in love. I loved you at first glance. But consider why she does it. FERRIS Point well taken. And why. That sex is all I think about. with you as my sweetheart. We think about love and matters of the heart. I feel it. But I'd rather go on hearing your lies than to go on living without you. The stripper disappears in darkness as Ferris takes over the spotlight. A boyfriend.
He's studying it. no. ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? Ferris drops his head.. Elvis fades up. 149 EXT. She's staring incredulously into the distance.SAVE FERRIS BUELLER. MICHIGAN AVENUE Afternoon traffic..come back to me. . Like the King would. The orignal recording.. HER POV Spray-painted on the town water tower in gigantic black letters -. CAMERON'S FATHER He shakes his head. CU. He freezes. She's shaking her head slowly. JEANIE She's furious. ELVIS IS YOUR HEART FILLED WITH PAIN? SHALL I COME BACK AGAIN? TELL ME DEAR. TAXI CAB 150 149 148 147 at the car. ATTENDANT You looking for something in my car? CU. 150 INT. DOWNTOWN STREET. CAMERON'S CAR Cameron's father is looking looks terribly familiar. Her mouth's open. CAMERON'S FATHER No. JEANIE Jeanie's standing at her car. JEANIE I'm gonna microwave his nuts. dramatic florish that was the King's trademark ballad sign-off. FERRIS' TOWN.. It leans into the open car and see if the contents will confirm looks up slowly. 147 EXT. He HIS POV The Attendant and the Rastaman are glowering at him. 148 EXT. Ferris lip synchs with the big. He reaches for the glovebox to if it's his. then they can bring the curtain down. They're holding bags of fried chicken.
how long have you been in America? DRIVER One year. Ferris. FERRIS So. He leans forward and reads the driver's name off the city license.Ferris. FERRIS Clearly you've never been to an American high school. seventy five dollars . CAMERON It's getting late. Cameron. FERRIS Better than Russia? DRIVER Much better here than in Russia. SLOANE Jump back. FERRIS That hurts.. I have to get the car home. Yuri. FERRIS So. a submarine. a giant heart. Ferris. Ferris is on one window. FERRIS Cameron. Ferris is talking to the DRIVER. what'd you see today? Cameron looks at him. FERRIS What's your overall impression? DRIVER It's very good here. I know you don't care. FERRIS You think I don't care? CAMERON I know you don't care. Sloane and Cameron in the backseat of a checker. He puts his arm around Sloane. FERRIS You saw four states. Sloane's in the middle. but it means my ass. Ferris sits back. Cameron's been a good sport.. Cameron on the other.
Turns back to CAMERA. On their asses. He looks away. He's about a foot from Ferris. TOM'S POV Sloane is sitting where Ferris was. He freezes. She makes a .worth of cooked pancreas. their cab is squeezed tight alongside another cab. (quizical look) Are you gonna chuck your nachos? Cameron's staring past Ferris. SLOANE Roast! She licks her finger and touches Ferris knee. He turns and looks right into CAMERA.. FERRIS (to Sloane) What's he doing? SLOANE (revolted) He's looking at me and he's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands. He turns. looking bored. Looks up. He pauses. two of the most incredible breasts ever to come out of modern plastics. She's wearing sunglasses. FLOOR. FERRIS' POV Tom glances back at his paper. major league baseball and. Fakes a yawn. TOM'S POV Ferris' frozen face. feet up on the seat. HER POV Tom stares at her. He's baffled. CAB. She turns and glances out the window. Thinks. In that cab is Tom. HIS POV In the gridlock traffic. INT.. Cameron and Ferris are on the floor. FERRIS What?! Sloane bursts out laughing. He's frozen. with their backs to the back of the front seat. Ferris realizes he's looking at something out the window.
He's missing a shoe. She's jogging to keep up. BACKYARD. INT. CU. CITY STREET Ferris is leading the way down Michigan Avenue. He's hustling through the crowd.. His suit pants are torn from the crotch to the knee. ROONEY That's a $28. He has Sloane by the hand. HOUSE. He's looking in at the dog.tits. He keeps bumping into people. HOUSE. Tearing it apart. ROONEY He's standing outside the fence. TOM'S CAB Tom's looking into Ferris' cab. FERRIS' HOUSE. FRONT A florist truck pulls up in front of the house. 153 EXT.please. His hair's messed and there're grass-stains on his knees and elbows. Cameron follows. BACKYARD. A DELIVERY MAN gets out iwth a huge floral arrangement.. We see on the back of the paper a small story with the headline: COMMUNITY RALLIES AROUND SICK YOUTH. you worthless mutt! HIS POV The Rottweiler leaps at CAMERA.. PORCH Rooney's sitting on the porch patting a bloody knee with his handkerchief. He greets Rooney cheerily. DOG The Rottweiler's chewing on a shoe. 154 153 152 151 . He heads up to the house. Cameron's a few steps behind. CAMERON Money.00 dress shoe.. 152 EXT. He turns and slowly raises his newspaper over his face. Ferris and Sloane make the turn at Wacker Driver and disappear into the Stone Container Building. 151 EXT. She collapes on the seat in hysterics. The delivery man hops up on the steps. 154 EXT. EXT.. TOM He can't quite figure out what's going on. His suit coat pocket is torn off.sizzling sound.. HIS POV Sloane's bouncing up and down. Rooney looks up at him. mumbling again.
DELIVERY MAN . DELIVERY MAN As I heard it from our mailman he was supposedly born with only half a kidney... (pause) You can reach my parents at their places of business. He's very popular. asshole. It will be remembered long after this illness has passed. Rooney is flabbergasted. DELIVERY MAN Nobody's home here? ROONEY No.. Thank you for stopping by. ROONEY What? FERRIS' VOICE .that in my weakened condition. FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry but I can't come to the door right now. I'm very ill and I'm afraid. A beat and we hear Ferris' recording. DELIVERY MAN (to the intercom) Thank you. (continues) I don't know the details. I have a delivery. DELIVERY MAN Focus on Flowers. DELIVERY MAN Little bugger's dying. But my boss had to send to Milwaukee to get more orchids.. FERRIS' VOICE Who is it? The Deliver Man presses the intercom. FERRIS' VOICE Have a nice day. DELIVERY MAN What's your problem? ROONEY He's one of my students. I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing.DELIVERY MAN Howdy! He presses the doorbell.. ROONEY It's a recording. I could take a nasty spill and subject myself to further school absenses..
DELIVERY MAN (happy sigh) It really touches me that so many people are rallying behind this guy. Christ. 157 EXT. He bounds off the porch and trots to the truck. FERRIS 157 156 155 . I guess there's hope for the human race afterall. FACULTY AND STAFF 155 INT.You gonna be around for awhile? ROONEY I imagine so. His name is Ferris Mueller. CU. DELIVERY MAN Gotta run. FERRIS' HOUSE Jeanie's car pull in the driveway. Rooney looks incredulously at the arrangement.J. 156 INT. He opens the attached card. We hear her car radio.J.. I don't know who that was or what they were playing but I apologize for it nonetheless. CARD It's signed: ALL OUR BEST FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY THE ENGLISH DEPT. D. D. FERRIS He put his headphones on.. RADIO STATION STUDIO The number one afternoon FM rock'n roll D. Then he looks at the Delivery Man. DELIVERY MAN You wanna keep an eye on these? Rooney looks at the flowers..J. is sitting behind his microphone. He hands the arrangement to Rooney. STUDIO.. (pause) I have a guest with me today. ROONEY (defeated) Oh.
But I've never had the chance to sit behind a microphone and try it out for real. JEANIE She goes into shock.J. He has an incredible story. Steve. Sorry about that.I'm the first Chicago area youth 159 158 .. FERRIS' VOICE . Unlike television which provides the images.J. speaks into the mike. you and your listeners are probably not going to believe this but. I'm in a very pleasant groove right now. Anyway. D. it challenges the imagination. (clears his voice. Her eyes blink. It's going to by very thick and very steamy... 159 INT. I practise it in the bathroom all the time. Ferris Bueller.. I think radio's a facinating medium. it's always been a dream of mine to be on the radio. her head cocks. Ferris turns to CAMERA.. STUDIO Ferris leans forward and adjusts the microphone. I have what I consider to be an excellent broadcast voice. INT. SCHOOL A group of kids are sitting around a blaster. CU. CAR.000 watt outlet. FERRIS I'm going to tell a massive lie here. CAR ANTENNA The impact of her blow to the radio shoots the antenna in the air. D. radio. I used to play records and do introductions to them. This is a 50. I'm going out to several million people so let me just say. affects a "radio" voice) Well. Jeanie draws back and punches out her radio. (pause) You know this. 158 INT.Bueller.. FERRIS It's cool.
I was putting out a cigarette. Anyway. FERRIS I was going to say I knew Springsteen's home phone number and I was going to give out the number of the New Jersey State Police but I thought I might get busted. 160 INT. car. which was not in any way. The flower arrangement is scattered all over the yard and the ceramic vase the flowers were in has obviously struck the dog.J. lit up a 'boro and Mrs. remember? He turns back to the DJ. The broken pieces are all around the dog's head. 162 EXT. D. I was so pissed off at her reaction to the whole thing that I considered running an ad in a sleaze magazine for a school teacher that does phone sex and I was gonna use Mrs. EXT. car and spaced completely. But I had to work at Burger King to get the cash to pay for the driver's ed. FERRIS HOUSE. The car got fixed in auto shop for nothing and I think Rooney pocketed the cash. shape or from my fault. It was weird. Heller's home number but is cost too much. How did you get picked for this. STUDIO Ferris turns from the mike to CAMERA. They're cheering him on. that I got in the driver's ed. HALLWAY A even larger group of kids is listening to the blaster. FERRIS' HOUSE. 161 INT.to be selected to participate in a space shuttle mission. But I can't prove it? I'm in high school. ROONEY . I took it again and passed. BACKYARD. BACKYARD 162 161 160 The Rottweiler is laying unconscious on the lawn. like I was told. because I'm not allowed to smoke at home. FERRIS It's kind of a long story but I've been doing alot of programming for NASA. pulled out of the lot. I'm so used to getting in a car and lighting up. After I got flunked in driver's ed for sideswiping a mail box. Heller looked at me like I'd just pulled a bunny out of my nose or something and I realized what the hell I was doing and I went to put it out and hit the mail box. SCHOOL.
FOYER Rooney sneaks into the house. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie's on the phone. He hears something in the house. JEANIE Is Mrs. The yardstick flings the covers and the pillows beneath them in the air. HOUSE. A smile spreads across her face. He's back and she's going to nail him. 167 166 165 164 163 . ROONEY His eyes dance in anticipation of revenge. pooch. HIS POV A glimpse of a fleeting figure. Do you know where she is? Do you know when she'll be back? Do you know anything? She slams the phone down. HOUSE. He peeks in. She dials a number. He drops down and peek in the windows.. ROONEY Sleep tight. She stomps in and turns off the snoring synthesizer. FRONT Rooney sneaks around the side of the house. HOUSE. HOUSE. JEANIE The worm has luck like clams have body odor. 165 INT. She's startled by a noise downstairs. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie kicks the door open.He's smiling with great satisfaction. 164 EXT. JEANIE I knew it! She grabs the phone and sits down. 163 INT. 166 INT. The front door's open.. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Jeanie tiptoes down the stairs. Bueller there? Where is she? This is her daughter. He looks around the foyer and heads into the kitchen. 167 INT. His head snaps around. CU. He slinks up on the porch.
KITCHEN Rooney comes out of the den. FOYER Jeanie sneaks into the kitchen. KITCHEN Rooney sneaks through the kitchen into the den. EXT. INT. 168 169 INT. KITCHEN 172 Jeanie and Rooney come face-to-face. HOUSE. She doesn't recognize Rooney as himself but as an intruder. CAR Joyce and her clients leave a show house and head toward the car. back into the kitchen. She drops into a karate stance and kicks Rooney in the face. D. He hits the deck.168 INT. CAR Boyd looks out the window as his parents and Joyce appear. FOYER Jeanie comes down the stairs into the foyer.J. JOYCE If you're willing to commit a little time and a little money to this place. Jeanie squeals in horror. CAR Joyce and her clients take one last look at the house. 171 172 INT. EXT. He crosses back toward the foyer. 170 171 INT. VOICE Can you stay around and take a few phone calls? FERRIS' VOICE I'd really like to but I have a kidney operation in about an hour. FERRIS' VOICE My input on the Star Wars defense plan was pretty substantial so I guess this is their way of rewarding me. HOUSE. CAR Boyd is sitting in the backseat of Joyce's car listening to the radio. She flees back up the stairs. HOUSE. you can really have something to be proud of. I'm pretty flattered. 169 170 INT. 173 . 173 INT.
D.J. JOYCE Did I tell you I have a son your age? BOYD Twice. JOYCE (to the kid) Well. FERRIS' VOICE Thanks. Joyce gets in. She opens the car door. She gives him a curious look. A song starts. JOYCE His name is Ferris. VOICE A very interesting guy. INT. The clients get in the other side. Ferris Bueller. Boyd. BOYD I knew he was bullshitting. I think you'd like him. Boyd sits up in the seat at the mention of Ferris' name.Don't let the black living room throw you off. how are you bearing up? The kid stares at her. Steve. D.J. MOTHER Watch your mouth. JOYCE Not that I know of. BOYD How do you watch your mouth? JOYCE Do you know my son? . CAR The door opens. BOYD Is he going up in the space shuttle in September? Joyce looks around at Boyd. VOICE I wish you the best of luck.
I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. 176 EXT. It's parked in front of a fire hydrant and the windshield is decorated with parking citations. There's an intruder. And a scorching case of herpes. 174 INT. Joyce give him a puzzled smile and starts the car. I need help! 175 INT. KITCHEN Rooney's plugging his bloody nose with paper towel. He thinks it's cute to bait adults. okay? I'm very cute. BOYD I don't think it's cute. I'd rather not have it violated or killed. JEANIE It's real nice that you hope my brother's feeling better but I'm in danger. JEANIE This is not a phoeny phone call. I'm very alone and I'm very protective of my body. Rooney stiffens with fear. I think it's fun. (pause) My name is Bueller. you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. In the distance SIRENS WAIL. in our kitchen. possibly armed. male caucasian. There's another pause. The intercom goes on. PARKING LOT The three are waiting for the Ferrari. 177 EXT. If whoever's in the house is still in the house. JEANIE'S VOICE Excuse me. If you have any brains whatsoever. JEANIE'S VOICE I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. STREET Rooney's car is hooked to a tow truck.FATHER Don't pay any attention to him. We HEAR TIRES 177 176 175 174 . Jeanie's face drops. FERRIS' ROOM Jeanie's on the phone. She's in a panic. certainly weird.
Keep that in mind. We return the car. 178 EXT. FERRIS Just out of curiosity. FERRIS Stunning! He hands him a buck and opens the door and pulls the passenger seat forward for Cameron. DOWNTOWN STREET The Ferrari cruises through traffic. FERRARI Sloane's in the passenger seat. Cameron gives him a look and squeezes in. SLOANE What's next. My parents aren't coming home until late. A BLACK GUY jumps out. FERRIS This is probably the last time you'll have to ride back here. INT. CAMERON Very funny. FERRIS We have enough cash left for a quick flight to Peoria and back. Then the Ferrari pulls down the ramp and jams to a frightening stop.SQUEALING. And back to the speedometer. FERRIS Cameron? How many miles did you say this thing had when we left? CAMERON 178 . He glances down at the speedometer. Ferris looks in the mirror and changes lanes. Ferris hands him the parking stub. CAMERON Nothing. what was your top speed coming down the ramp? BLACK GUY (matter-of-fact) About 60. SLOANE We could go to my house. AN ENGINE REVING-OUT. then to the road. Ferris is driving and Cameron is crammed in the back.
EXT. CU. Her gesture is one of genuine support. CAMERON He's still holding the stare. Cameron. SPEEDOMETER The odometer reads 432. Why? How many miles are on it now? He glances down at the speedometer. CU. SLOANE She whips around in the seat and grabs his arms. CU. He's concerned. SLOANE You okay? CU. CAMERON His eyes are frozen in a mindless. MUFFLED SCREAM. . He starts to breathe heavily.One hundred and twenty six and halfway between three and four tenths. SLOANE Cameron! Cut it out! What's wrong?! Ferris! CU. He's trembling. EXPRESSWAY The Ferrari is buzzing through traffic. We'll fix it. EXT. FERRIS (to CAMERA) Here's where Cameron goes berserk. FERRIS Hey. FERRARI Sloane turns in her seat and looks at Cameron. CU. TRAFFIC The Ferrari pulls up at a stop light. FERRIS He looks at Sloane.7. INT. vacant stare. It's okay. FERRIS He shoots Sloane a look. We HEAR A THUNDERING.
. It's completely fixable. FERRARI Sloane fires an angry look at Ferris. SLOANE What can I do.you.. 179 INT. FRONT DOOR The door swings open. God! Thank you. But it's a problem for him! So. The Ferris' tape is activated. JEANIE Thank.. JEANIE I'm saved! Thank you.. INT. He knows what he's doing. really. SLOANE Shut-up! It is a problem! For him it's a problem. just shut-up. HER POV 180 179 . are you okay? It's no problem.. She blinks her eyes. 180 EXT. thank you! She jumps the last few stairs and slides to the front door. Nothing's a problem for you. She turns back to Cameron. Your old man won't know a thing. FOYER The doorbell rings. VOICE Anybody home? FERRIS' VOICE I'm sorry that I can't come to the door right now. FERRIS' HOUSE. She whips it open. FERRIS VOICE Who is it? We hear a MALE VOICE over the intercom. thank you.FERRIS Cameron. HOUSE. Her jaw goes slack. Cameron? CU. The tape continues as Jeanie hurtles down the stairs. FERRIS Eyes front..
From inside we hear SHOUTING and seventeen different SONGS PLAYING ON BLASTERS. CU. The bus doors open. He climbs aboard the bus. ANOTHER KID Did you get in a fight? Rooney keep walking. Rooney! What're you doing? Rooney doesn't respond. myopic GIRL. He stops. She pushes her Coke bottle glasses up on her nose. GIRL I'll bet you never smelled a real school bus before.The Delivery Man and a young ASSISTANT are standing at the door with floral arrangements. The DRIVER calls out to him. A sexy singing NURSE and a BALLOON MAN steps up on the porch. GIRL She holds her smile. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET Rooney's walking down the street. A school bus is crawling alongside him as kids hang out the windows. ROONEY He looks vacantly at her. The passengers are silent as they watch Rooney shuffle down the aisle and take an empty seat next to a skinny. CU. KID Hey. 182 INT. CU. The bus stops.. Rooney takes a deep breath. The door slams shut. 181 EXT. Spread all around them are more flowers. DRIVER You want a lift? Rooney takes a few more steps.. GIRL She looks at Rooney and smiles. NURSE (sings) WE HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER WE HOPE YOU'RE FELLING FIT WE. A top forty montage. BUS The bus is jammed with WONKS and WEINERETTES. Mr. 182 181 .
All I wanted to do . ROONEY He stares at her. 184 EXT. They're real soft and warm. CU. ROONEY He turns him eyes to the front. ROONEY He looks across to the kid.CU. He's always been a little keyed-up. the SHOUTING RESUMES. PARK 184 183 Cameron's laying on a picnic table. CU. BUS It grinds through the gears as it heads down the quiet street. The BLASTERS go back on. CU. I think Cameron might have blown a micro-chip or two. ROONEY He stares at her. FRESHMAN BOY It's kind of like being in the belly of the beast isn't it? CU. BOY He leans forward. Ferris WALKS INTO THE FOREGROUND. 183 EXT. FERRIS This may very well be for real. The bus jerks forward and pulls away. BOY A rotund FRESHMAN BOY sitting across from Rooney is staring at him. GIRL She puts one in her mouth. She's stroking his hair. CU. GIRL Gummi Bear? CU. Sloane's sitting beside him on the table. GIRL They've been in pocket. He addresses CAMERA. CU. GIRL She holds up a candy package.
FERRIS He looks to the picnic table. CU. And she's gonna treat him like shit because he's gonna kiss her ass for giving him what he's built-up in his mind as the end-all. This isn't just teenage infatuation. She won't respect him because you can't respect someone who kisses your ass. CU. How do I deal with that? I was serious when I said I'd marry her. the process of growing up will separate us. I'll take infatuation. FERRIS I'm being tested here. I would. He starts back to the picnic table. SLOANE Ferris? CU.was give him a good day. be-all of human existance. Sloane's stroking his hair. And we'll see each other at night and on the weekends but then he'll go to one school and I'll go to another. FERRIS (VO) Cameron's never been in love. It just doesn't work. My. We follow him. FERRIS My best friend has flipped-out. She looks away. . She still has another year of high school. FERRIS Sloane's a bigger problem. What do they call what they have? If that's love. He's gonna marry the first girl he lays. SLOANE She's studying Cameron's face. He'll work and I'll work. I wouldn't fault anybody for doing that. And basically that'll be it. personally. Then back to CAMERA. Conventional wisdom would suggest a visit to the nearest trauma center. Then we have the summer. CAMERON His eyes are closed. That's what my parents call it. As much as we like each other. We're gonna graduate in a couple of months. He begins to walk. At least no one's ever been in love with him.
I think this calls for something new, something bold, something wet and wild. 185 CU. JACUZZI JET UNDERWATER SHOT. A hyrdojet spews a gush of air bubbles. CU. BLASTER A finger pushes the PLAY button on the cassette. MUSIC COMES UP. CU. BEER CAN LID The finger pops a beer. CU. OREO PACKAGE A painted fingernail pierces the cellophane wrapper. INT. JACUZZI Ferris and Sloane are in Sloane's parents' Jacuzzi. Their clothes are tosssed around the deck. Cameron's been placed in a patio chair at the edge of the Jacuzzi. He's still catatonic. He's mummbling softly. Ferris is drinking a beer. Sloane's eating Oreos. FERRIS You feeling any better, Cameron? SLOANE The water's really nice. I wish you'd come in. CU. CAMERON Staring into space. CAMERON Surgery...fire...move... CU. SLOANE AND FERRIS They look at each other. She offers him a cookie. He offers her his beer. FERRIS Cameron? Do you think this because of the car or is it a combination of everything shitty in your life? CU. CAMERON He doesn't respond. CAMERON Music...kiss...attack... CU. SLOANE AND FERRIS 185
Sloane sips the beer. FERRIS You just can't deal with anymore shit? The car took you into the red zone? Time for a reality check? SLOANE Cameron? I could flip real easy, too. There's nothing wrong with it. At one time or another, everybody goes to the zoo. FERRIS Maybe he was actually sick. Maybe he wasn't bullshitting himself. CU. CAMERON No response. CAMERON Gesundheit...God...mercy... EXT. BACKYARD Ferris and Sloane watch their catatonic friend. CU. CAMERON He smiles. CU. SLOANE She leans forward and stares at Cameron. CU. FERRIS He cocks his head, wondering what Cameron's up to. CU. CAMERON He keels over forward. EXT. BACKYARD Cameron falls out of the chair and splashes down, face-first, into the water. Sloane screams. Ferris leaps for him. UNDERWATER Ferris struggles with Cameron's lifeless bulk. CU. SLOANE She's screaming. Ferris thrashes around in the water. UNDERWATER
Ferris grabs Cameron's collar and rips him out of the water. EXT. BACKYARD Ferris sits Cameron on the edge of the Jacuzzi. FERRIS CAMERON! CU. CAMERON His eyes are closed. He's lifeless. CU. FERRIS His face is a mask of terror. He shakes Cameron. CU. SLOANE She's screaming. CU. CAMERON A smile spreads across his face. CU. FERRIS He sees the smile. He stops shaking Cameron. EXT. JACUZZI Ferris and Cameron are looking at each other. Sloane's still screaming. She realizes that Cameron's okay. She stops screaming. SLOANE What? FERRIS (Cameron) You asshole! Cameron's smiling. SLOANE What? Ferris starts to laugh. Cameron explodes with laughter. Sloane's bewildered. SLOANE What's so funny? 186 INT. POLICE STATION. WAITING ROOM 186
Jeanie's sitting on a wooden bench with a WASTED TEENAGE BOY in a Triumph t-shirt, long hair, torn jeans, creepers, studs and chains. He's studying her. BOY Drugs?
JEANIE Alright. BOY Then why don't you go home? JEANIE Why don't you put your thumb up your butt? The boy stares at her. BOY I meant. JEANIE You really want to know what's wrong? The boy shrugs. not yet. He understands the emotion. I've got the troubles. How's that? BOY That's cool. are you here for drugs? Jeanie stares at him. I'm straight. . Jeanie turns away. BOY You want to talk about your problem? JEANIE With you? Are you serious? BOY Yeah. JEANIE Why are you here? BOY Drugs. The boy crosses his legs. Jeanie looks back at him. The boy nods. thank you. I'm serious. JEANIE Blow yourself. If you've got the time.JEANIE No. In a nutshell. JEANIE I don't know why I'm here. I hate my brother. Did you shoot him or something? JEANIE No.
JEANIE If you say Ferris Bueller.JEANIE I went home to confirm that the shithead was ditching school and a guy broke into the house and I called the cops and they picked me up for making a phoney phone call. you're pissed at him because he ditches and doesn't get caught? JEANIE Basically. BOY Then your problem is you. BOY You know him? . BOY So. you lose a testicle. Partly because he's so bold and partly because he's so right. JEANIE Excuse me? BOY Excuse you. JEANIE Why should he get to ditch school when everybody else has to go? BOY You could ditch. The boy nods knowingly. Jeanie stares at him threateningly. BOY There's somebody you should talk to. It's just an opinion. BOY What do you care if your brother ditches school? Jeanie stares at the boy. You oughta spend a little more time dealing with yourself and a little less time worrying about what your brother does. JEANIE I'd get caught. Jeanie stares angrily at him.
what would it be? FERRIS I can't believe you'd think up something like with a naked girl in a jacuzzi right in front of you. The engine's racing. it doesn't make if the present 187 FERRIS I have a agree with you there. SLOANE Really. Cameron and Sloane are sitting in the garage. meditating. holding it down. The wheels are turning. I I was thinking And I realized and difference goes to shit. CAMERON'S GARAGE Ferris. CAMERON If you guys only had one word. The whole time things over. INT. CAMERON I was just thinking was like. answer his question. JEANIE'S HAND It curls into a fist. The Ferrari is jacked up. 187 CU. CAMERON Thank you.CU. Cameron. SLOANE Come on. FERRIS Bathroom. . Ferris. CAMERON I've been thinking all day that if you could only have the use of one word. Sloane. ACCELERATOR A brick's resting on the accelerator. what would it be? FERRIS Sloane is naked before your eyes and you're thinking about words? SLOANE God bless you. about the future. CY. FERRARI TIRE It's spinning rapidly.
CAMERON The word is help. GARAGE Cameron pulls his head out of the car. FERRIS Hellos' generic. CU. Cameron smiles at his wisdom. ODOMETER Nothing's happening.. SLOANE Love. CAMERON Ferris? It's not working. .. Cameron peeks in the window. running it in reverse. FERRIS Cash. FERRIS And what is you loathe somebody? Are you going to say "love" every time you see them? SLOANE It's better than "hello". FERRIS Hello. CAMERON The miles aren't coming off.SLOANE I'd say. Cameron gets up and walks to the Ferrari. It's a good choice. She thinks. SLOANE You wanna be generic? CAMERON It's help. Ferris looks up. Ferris and Sloane think about it. INT. CAMERON It's the only word you could ever use.
CU. I will take a stand and I will defend it. Cameron shakes his head. CU. CU. When my father comes home tonight. FERRIS He turns to CAMERA. Now. He has made up his mind and it appears that it won't be changed by anyone but himself. I will not sit idly by as events that affect me unfold to change the course of my life. I'm taking a stand. CU. I'm taking a stand against my father. my present and my future. TIRES It's spinning wildly. against myself. he's finally going to have to deal with me. CAMERON I got a better idea. I'm gonna do it. CAMERON He's serious and determined. FERRIS This is a big U-2 fan. INT. against my past. CU. It squeals out of the garage in a cloud of blue tire smoke. TIRE The spinning tires slam down on the cement. CAMERON Seventeen years and I've never taken a stand. Let's crack open the odometer and roll it back by hand.FERRIS I thought that might be a problem. SLOANE She smiles proudly at Cameron. GARAGE Cameron has kicked the Ferrari off the jack. MERCEDES BUMPER Cameron's foot rests on the bumper. She applauds him. Good or bad. against my family.000 . A beat and it gives a mighty shove. CU. He walks back around behind the Ferrari. A $50. It's cool.
FERRIS What was that about? SLOANE This has to be a dream. HOUSE The Ferrari shoots down the driveway. across the street. INT. They look at Cameron. TREE The Ferrari's brief journey ends as it smacks a tree trunk. THEIR POV The Ferrari travels down the driveway. INT. EXT.unmanned investment heading backwards down a driveway. over the curb into the wooded property opposite the house. GARAGE Cameron watches the car go. You wrecked a car. CU. CU. He shoots a look to Ferris. GARAGE Ferris and Sloane exchange baffled looks. Cameron. Why'd you do that? Cameron holds his proud posture for a beat. FERRIS You trashed the car. Cameron looks across the street. FERRIS No. SLOANE AND FERRIS They're in shock. SLOANE Why? CAMERON I took a stand. Ferris and Sloane are bewildered. Then a look of bewilderment comes over his face. CAMERON It's okay. FERRIS Cameron? One quick question. Cameron thinks for a moment. He's strangely placcid about the impending disaster. Then he regains his confidence. A puzzled look. He's proud and bold. .
I don't know why she wasn't at school.Ferris looks across the street at the car. JOYCE I hope so. I hope you son's feeling better. The gathers her purse and jacket and stands. CAMERON It's cool. Outside the office. SLOANE What about your one word? CAMERON You already did it. 188 . JOYCE Thank you. on the bench. I can assure you that her father and I will have a long talk with her. OFFICER For whatever reasons she did it. I think she'd had a good scare. CAMERON No. FERRIS I have an idea. I appreciate your calling me. by the way. 188 INT. First. POLICE STATION. CAMERON I'm gonna handle it. I'll use it. Joyce looks at the officer curiously. Second. He shakes his head. OFFICER Oh. I'm loose. If I need it again. He smiles. This is a shock to me. I want to deal with it by myself. OFFICE Joyce is talking with the juvenile officer. He raises am impish eyebrow. JOYCE She's never been in trouble before. we see Jeanie and the boy making out. I don't know why she'd call you with this story about a rapist. If you're interested. thanks. FERRIS I think this could work. Cameron looks at him.
Jeanie stands up. POLICE STATION. JEANIE Hi. Get your stuff.OFFICER Tell him. FERRIS Yeah. I'd be worried if he'd 190 189 . BOY What's your name? JEANIE Jean. SLOANE'S BACKYARD Sloane and Ferris are standing at the back fence. WAITING ROOM Jeanie quickly breaks the embrace with the boy as Joyce steps out of the juvenile officer's room. Jeanie wipes her lips and sits up straight. 190 EXT. She's still a little bewildered that everybody knows Ferris was ill. What's yours? BOY Garth Volbeck. The boy adjusts his pants to better hide his passion. SLOANE You think Cameron's gonna be alright? FERRIS Sure. JEANIE (to the boy) If you keep this to yourself. It was pretty cool. young lady. BOY For sure. Jeanie reaches down for her purse. 189 INT. I guess. He had to so it. His old man had it coming. JOYCE Don't "hi" me. I think we can probably get it on pretty good. SLOANE I had a great time today. all the guys at the station here are pulling for him. He'll be okay.
Ferris jumps the fence and takes off across the backyards. PIECE OF PAPER We see a portion of the typewritten letter as she signs it. She turns and runs into the house. ANOTHER BACKYARD 192 191 Ferris vaults a fence. hits the diving board. CU. I'm just real loose. 191 EXT. springs off. SLOANE You didn't have an idea. BEDSPREAD Neatly bundles stacks of bills and rolled coins. He's approaching it from the side. A significant amount of cash. did you? FERRIS Not a glimmer. SLOANE She's writing.in the amount of $1. CU. Sloane watches him go. FERRIS No. He runs directly for a swimming pool.33. 193 CU. SLOANE He's gonna marry me.765... Sloane smiles knowingly. He leaps. He jumps a plaster elf. It gives us great pleasure to assist 193 . FERRIS I'll call you tonight. BACKYARD Ferris sprints across a backyard. ". SLOANE I LOVE YOU! She backs away from the fence.taken my idea. does a flip and lands on the grass on the other side of the pool. 192 EXT. He kisses her. Sloane nods. SLOANE You're so smart. MUSIC FADES UP. A huge smile spreads across her face. I know it.
HIS POV Rooney's looking down at him. fixing dinner and out her backdoor. EXT. FERRIS' HOUSE Tom pulls in the driveway. PORCH The outline of a key in the dirt under the mat. The Woman looks up curiously. CU. The toe of a chewed-up dress shoe steps INTO FRAME. He parks and gets out. TOM He realizes it couldn't be Ferris. He does a take. FERRIS He stares up in horror. BACK PORCH Ferris tries the door. The key's gone. CU. HIS POV. He reaches down and lifts the doormat. Ferris moves to the side. He glances in the mirror. PORCH Ferris stands up. FERRIS' STREET He's running down the middle of the street. 197 196 195 194 . CAR. 197 EXT. HOUSE. He smiles. Sloane Peterson Executive Director The Ferris Bueller Foundation" 194 EXT. past a WOMAN. Joyce pulls in from the other direction. CU. INT. A car honks. 196 EXT. MIRROR We see Ferris cut across a front lawn and into a house. He's holding the house key. The car pulls around him. An OMNIOUS CHORD IS STRUCK. It's locked. Tom's at the wheel.you in performance of your worthy and much needed survives to those so desperately in need. 195 INT. Sincerely. HOUSE Ferris runs through the kitchen.
ROONEY How does another year of high school sit with you? Suddenly. Rooney. Ferris is caught. Ferris limps into the house. JEANIE . (to Ferris) You better get up in bed tight now. Ferris.ROONEY Looking for this? FERRIS Yes. She rushes Ferris and hugs him. ROONEY He's dumbfounded. FERRIS A moment of curiosity. the backdoor opens. CU. Mr. His victory is evaporating. This time I finally got you. Jeanie looks out. Then it dawns on him what's happening. There's no way out. EXT. ROONEY His eyes dart from Ferris to Jeanie to Ferris. ROONEY I got you. JEANIE Can you imagine someone as sick as Ferris trying to walk home from the hospital? (shakes her head) Kids! CU. Rooney gloats severely. PORCH Jeanie breaks the embrace. She feigns joy and relief. you're alright! We've been worried sick! CU. JEANIE Thank God. CU. JEANIE (to Rooney) Thank you for bringing him home. He smiles.
Kimberly feels her head. A huge smile passes over her face. 198 INT. His head pops up off the grass. YARD. KITCHEN Kimberly and Todd are sitting at the kitchen table watching TV and eating cereal. Rooney squeezes his eyes shut. We hear AN O. He looks at his little brother. ROONEY He senses new danger. CU. GROWL. TODD Ferris? Does my head look like it's getting bigger? Ferris leans against the counter as he tries to catch his breath. bewildered face. Jeanie comes in. EXT. shit! Ferris takes out a bottle of orange juice out of the refrigerator and drinks straight from the bottle. 199 EXT. but Kimberly's is. he has Jeanie to deal with next year. Not only has he lost Ferris again. KIMBERLY (to Todd) Is he serious? TODD I think so. dejected. They look up at Ferris as he comes in from outside. CU.She raises her hands and strikes a karate pose. PORCH Jeanie steps into the house. CU. 200 INT. FERRIS No. 200 199 198 . He crosses to the refrigerator and opens it. DOG The click of the door wakes him up. HOUSE The door closes on Rooney's defeated.C. ROONEY A look of terror as he realizes that is was Jeanie who kicked him and that Jeanie knows it was he who she kicked. KIMBERLY Oh. lost.
HOUSE Joyce and Tom head up to the kitchen. FERRIS By the way. FERRIS It's completely cool. HOUSE. FERRIS Upstairs.FERRIS Thanks. He affects a sickly voice. JEANIE I'm sorry I've been riding your buns for so long. KIMBERLY Is my head swelling up? 203 INT. guys. JOYCE (OC) Ferris! Ferris continues up the stairs. I'll pay you back. Jeanie. FOYER The foyer is jammed with floral arrangements. I've been ripping off your wallet for years. plants and gifts. I borrowed some cash from you. Ferris and Jeanie step gingerly through the flowers and head upstairs. Mom! 204 INT. 204 203 202 201 . Ferris gives her a proud smile. JOYCE (to Todd and Kimberly) Hi. JEANIE No problem. FERRIS I want to. JEANIE You don't have to. KITCHEN Ferris and Jeanie exit the kitchen as Joyce and Tom enter. JEANIE You don't have to. 202 INT. 201 EXT. SECOND FLOOR LANDING Ferris and Jeanie stop.
No sooner are the covers over him than the bedroom door opens and Joyce and Tom walk in.. FERRIS I'm much better. He climbs into bed. TOM Ferris. really. Joyce leans over and kisses him forehead. 205 INT.. You're sick.JEANIE Do you know a guy named Garth Volbeck? FERRIS Vaguely. BEDROOM Tom and Joyce hover over him with deep concern. FERRIS Maybe you're right. Ferris walks into the room. don't make me stay home again. eyes bulging. I want to go to school. JOYCE Honey? CU. But stay away from his brother. TOM (OC) Ferris? How do you feel? He pulls in his tongue to speak. I'm graduating in June and I. brushes the crumbs off his hands and peels off his shirt. Tongue out. JEANIE Is he cool? FERRIS He's cool. JOYCE How did you get so sweet? 205 . FERRIS The same deathly face he had in the morning. There's no point pushing yourself and making it worse. TOM I know I'm right. Joyce sits down. thank you. Please. They walk over to the bed. FERRIS (deathly gasp) 150% better. Dad.
He smiles. FERRIS (happy sigh) Yeah. MUSIC UP BIG END TITLES THE END . Tom pats Ferris on the rump. Ferris looks at CAMERA. FERRIS The hideous face. A great big crazy ball of pure living.FERRIS Years of practice. life is a carousel. He and Joyce exit. breathing joy and delight. A beat and we HEAR THE BEDROOM DOOR CLOSE. He rolls over on his back and puts his hands behind his head. CU. FERRIS You gotta get one.
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