This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle to yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be a peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirators, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to b happy. "Desiderata", an inspirational prose-poem of gentle language and supposedly 17th century origin has been heralded as a beacon of light illuminating modern-day life with its ancient wisdom. Offering common-sense advice for enjoying life. The title is Latin for "things to be desired.") - Max Ehrman - Found in old St. Paul’s church, Baltimore; Dated 1692
THE NEW MEANING OF MARRIAGE By Rosemary Haughton Here is a wedding song, a new kind of epithalamion for a man and a woman about to marry. The old kind celebrated the sacrifice of virginity of virginity to the more glorious state 1
of wedded love. The emphasis was all on the wedding night, and the mystery of the young bride’s sexual initiation into womanhood. But now, when many couples have sexual experience long before marriage, it can seem that the wedding has become a mere legal of ecclesiastical formality, to legitimate the children and simplify social life. Naturally, the more honest begin to doubt its value and to reject what seems a respectable hypocrisy. Yet what has really happened is that, more clearly than ever before, it is possible for a man and a woman to marry because they want marriage. It is not force on them by parents or church, or because it’s “what’s done.” They don’t marry simply because that’s the only way to get sex respectably, they actually want to enter into a marriage. What is this marriage that they want? A 16 th-century writer called it “ a noble daring”. It is a decision, against all common sense, to commit their future to each other. And this a good definition as we need of what marriage is for the intention of a man and a woman to make one life. It is interesting that even couples who have only the vaguest of beliefs, or beliefs, or none, often prefer to have a religious ceremony. There is a feeling that the marriage is more “real” if it is celebrated with beauty and a certain solemnity. The way in which the promises are made can help to shape the years to come, because it shapes the attitudes toward their promises of those who make them, and of those who witness them. This is why, nowadays, many couples help to create the ritual for their own wedding day. They compose their own prayers, choose their own favorite hymns and music – sometimes even write them. They know they need ritual at their lives, but it must be their ritual. The new life together, which they are beginning, will be shaped by the community in which it develops. The kind of home they have and what they make of it, the friends they make, they way they bring up their children, will depend on other people – they ones they like and they don’ t like. Yet each couple entering on marriage is convinced that theirs is to be a unique achievement, that they are going to make a new kind of home an d marriage. Whether they know it or not, they are responding to a call that hear t of all great religions, the deep human conviction that, in spite of all contrary evidence, it is possible to make the world anew. Among the strange and luxuriant images that through the Book of Revelation, the greatest of all is the image of the Bride, representing the whole human race, who comes – bathed, adorned and crowned - to meet her Bridegroom And He cries out, “Behold, I make all things new.” It is this hope, this unreasonable but inextinguishable assurance, that lies at the heart of each wedding when it is real commitment in love. “Behold, I make all things new,” the man and woman say to each other. And they really do have it in their power to renew the face of the earth. This sounds like poetic hyperbole, but it is everyday fact. It is true that if the love of a man and a woman is to endure and grow and have this power, the two will need all the help they can get; the very existence of their own inner world of two depends on the love and the sympathy of others to support them and encourage them as they grow. But if they receive love and care, they are able to give it, too, and often to revive the parched lives of people around them whom have lacked love and ceased to hope. This is something that young married people are beginning to rediscover. The old romantic ideal stressed the lonely passion of star-crossed lovers. Against this, marriage appeared dull and safe. Now some at least have discovered that uncommitted sex, which can easily become meaningless, which carries no risk (except the risk of spiritual death through a creeping paralysis of selfishness and cynicism). But marriage does involved risk. Marriage 2
means handing over your whole self – your body, your soul, your happiness, your future – to the keeping of one whom you love, but who is, and remains, greatly a stranger. This tremendous act of faith is something that can unlock in each lover powers of compassion; joy, passion, fidelity and hope that no one guessed were there. This is why the confidence of your lovers is not arrogant or foolish but an expression of the basic fact about human nature; the fact that the greatest human gifts are set to work only when people are prepared to risk everything. So a man and a woman stand together, about to pledge themselves to this “noble daring” of a shared life, until death. The future will certainly bring suffering and anxiety as well as joy. It may defeat their hopes and break apart the life they are binding together. When the future comes, they must make the decisions that the future demands, and the human quality of those decision will depend on the quality of their commitment at this moment. They are not alone. The relatives and friends think they are simply coming to congratulate and to enjoy themselves. They might be surprise to learn that they represent the cloud of witness, of all times and nations and languages, which comes to bless the new community of two about to be formed. They are taking part in the renewal of mankind, because they are sharing in this consecration to the sacrifice of life. For as long as there can be found one man and one woman with the courage to consecrate themselves to each other, in love without reserve, there is hope for mankind, and a future to make. THE CARDINAL VIRTUES Cardinal Virtues disposes us to lead good lives. There are four cardinal virtues, namely: 1. Prudence disposes us in all circumstances to form right judgment about what we must do or not. Prudence perfects the intelligence, which is the power of forming judgment; for this virtue, knowledge and experience are important. 2. Justice disposes us to give everyone what belongs to him. It teaches us to give what is due to God and to man. Justice perfects the will and safeguards the right of man: his right to life, freedom, honor, good name, sanctity of the home, and external possessions. 3. Fortitude disposes us to do what is good in spite of any difficulty. It gives us the strength to do good and avoid evil in spite of all obstacles and afflictions. We possess fortitude when we are not hindered by ridicule, threats, or persecution from doing what is right; when we are ready, if necessary, to suffer death. 4. Temperance disposes us to control our desires and to use the things, which pleases our senses. It regulates our judgment and passions, so that we make use of temporal things only in so far as they are necessary for our external salvation. We possess temperance when we eat and drink only what is necessary to sustain life, preserve health, and fulfill our duties. Temperance does not consist in refusing or denying us what is necessary, thus unfitting ourselves for good works. SOME OTHER MORAL VIRTUES 1. Filial Piety and Patriotism, which disposes us to honor, love, and respect our parents and our country. It is, however, no virtue but sin if we are so prejudiced in favor of our parents what we find no good in others; or if we are so “patriotic” that we see no good in other nations. 2. Obedience disposes us to do the will of our superiors. Obedience consists not only in doing what our superior commands, but also in being willing to do what is commanded. One who grumbles and murmurs while doing what his mother asks him to do is not obedient. 3
3. Veracity which disposes us to tell the truth. Veracity, however, odes not require us to reveal secrets, or to reply to questions about which the questioner has no right to ask. In cases such as these, we should either remain silent, or return an evasive answer. 4. Patience which disposes us to bear up under trials and difficulties. MORE ABOUT CONSCIENCE Conscience is that judgment by which we decide here and now what we should do as good, or avoid as evil. 1. Conscience is often called the “voice of reason” or “voice of God,” because it bids us to do right and avoid wrong. 2. If we always obey the dictates of our conscience, we shall never offend God. It arises from the knowledge of the law, whether natural or revealed. Before any action, conscience speaks either in favor or against. After the action, according as we have followed or disregarded it, conscience fills us with peace or disquiet. If a person is tempted to steal, he seems to hear an inward voice saying: “Do not steal. You know it is wrong to steal,” This inward voice is conscience. Conscience tells us that God is our Lawgiver, - our Judge, Reward, and Avenger. Erroneous Conscience Conscience is erroneous when we think that something right is wrong, or that something wrong is right.
An erroneous conscience asks from ignorance or a faulty, knowledge of the law. As long as a person who has an erroneous conscience knows no better, he is not responsible for the evil he may do be following it. If a person with an erroneous conscience believes something right is wrong, and nevertheless does it, he is guilty of sin, because he has violated his conscience, and therefore willed to do wrong. One has a doubtful conscience when one does not know whether something is right or wrong.
If one has a doubtful conscience, but yet must do something and cannot wait, he should say to himself that if he knew it was wrong, then he would not do it. Then. If he makes up his mind and does it, and it is really wrong, he is not guilty of sin. Scrupulous Conscience A scrupulous conscience is a sick conscience that sees sin where there is none. 1. A scrupulous person looks on temptations as sins. We must not encourage a scrupulous conscience. It is a mark of lack of confidence in the goodness of God. When a scrupulous person is tempted, he worries himself sick, believing he has committed sin, even when he has not yielded to the temptation on whit, even when he has actually abhorred it. 2. Unscrupulous or lax conscience is the opposite of a scrupulous conscience. One with such a lax conscience convinces him that man is too weak to resist sin, and so all sin is negligible. “To err is human” is his constant motto.
A lax conscience is careless, it makes light of ordinary sins, and looks upon grave sins as negligible. After some time a lax conscience increases in laxness until the person losses practically all sense of wrong. Thus he becomes a habitual sinner. We then say that he has no conscience. Delicate Conscience A delicate conscience is one, which impels us to avoid anything in the slightest degree of evil. We should be most careful to keep our conscience delicate. It is a terrible thing for one to live as if he had no conscience. It is tender conscience that escapes such things as selfreproach, shame, remorse, dismay and fear, because it is ever before God, Who gives it peace and hope. A delicate conscience is the conscience that good people should cultivate. Then they will avoid anything displeasing to God and men. OF VIRTUES AND SINS Good qualities or inclinations, whether natural or supernatural, are generally referred to as “virtues.” Virtue is a habit that inclines us to whatever is good. Moral virtues are called such because they disposes us to lead moral or good lives, by aiding us to treat persons and things in the right way, that is, according to the will of God. Moral virtues are opposed to the capital sins. For example: Humility is opposed to pride Liberality is opposed to avarice Chastity is opposed to lust Meekness and patience are opposed to anger Temperance is opposed to gluttony Brotherly love is opposed to envy Zeal and diligence in what is good are opposed to sloth The chief sources of actual sin are: pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony; envy and sloth, and these are commonly called capital sins. They are called capital sins, from the Latin capote (which means head), because they are they heads or sources of all sins. Thus they originate sins of luxury, gossip, excessive ambition, etc. 1. They are called capital sins, not because they are the greatest sins in themselves, but because they are the chief reasons why men commit sin. They are the origin of every sin, all other sins arising from them as from their fountainhead. 2. These sins are called vices, because they produce permanent disorders in the soul. They are the seven fatal diseases of the soul, which end in death.
SIX GIFTS TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN STRONG By Ruth Stafford Peale The other day our daughter Elizabeth left two of her youngsters with me for the morning. Watching my two small granddaughters run happily through our old farmhouse at Pawling, N.Y., and finally settle down with a book of fairy tales that once their mother’s favorite, I found myself comparing the predictable world of my own childhood with their uncertain, crisis-haunted future. Suppose I said to myself, that I was a young mother again, faced with the problem of teaching my children how to function in a world of increasing tensions and problems. What qualities of heart and mind and spirit would I concentrate on, and how to implant them? Gradually, some answer takes shape in my mind. Obviously, many attributes are needed for life in a crisis-dominated world, but is seems to me that six are essential. If I were a fairy godmother myself, these are the six gifts I would bestow: Self-confidence. I would put this first, because only those who believe in themselves and in their capacity to meet challenges will be the crisis-coopers of the future. Can parents really do anything to encourage self-confidence in a child? Yes, they can, and the secret is this: watch to see where a child’s inmate skills or talents lie, then gently (don’t expect too much too soon) lead or coax him or her in those areas. It may be difficult for a father who was a crack athlete to understand and help a son who would rather play chess than football. But chess, not football, is what such a boy needs if confidence is to grow in him. If he does that one thing well he will come to believe that he can do another things well, and he won’t be afraid to attempt them. Once that attitude becomes ingrained, he will be what the world needs most: a problem-solver. Enthusiasm. It was Emerson who said that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. (I am sure that nothing small was ever accomplished without some degree of it, either!). With children it’s not so much a matter of implanting this quality – most of them are born with it – as of protecting it. This isn’t easy, because enthusiasm is fragile, easily damaged by scorn, ridicule or repeated failure. Sometimes a small child’s enthusiasms may seem amusing to grownups. But laughter dampens enthusiasm. During World War II, someone gave our son John, then a small boy, a book to be filled with war savings stamps. We found him one day licking stamps with gusto and pounding them home with furious blows of his little fist. “What on earth are you doing?” his father asked. “I’m winning the war!” cried John, hammering another stamp. We are careful not to laugh; that can-do attitude was too important. Compassion. Most children are exquisitely sensitive to pain or suffering in other living creatures. Every parent who has had to console a child desolated by the death of a dog or a cat knows this. This sensitivity can be preserved or it can be blunted. If the climate of the home is one of sympathy and concern for others if the child sees his parents making sacrifices for less-fortunate people, then that capacity is strengthened. Last December a young couple we know took their small children to a shopping center, gave each some money, and told them to select a Christmas present for a child their own age whom they would never meet but who was facing a black Christmas. The children made their 6
choices carefully, supervised the wrapping, and discussed the unexpected pleasure their gifts would bring. In such families, one may be sure, the glowing spark of compassion will never flicker out. Respect. This is a word that has almost gone out of fashion, but I think we need to bring it back. I’m talking about a subtle attitude that conditions a person’s whole approach to life: the conviction that certain values are worthy of esteem and need to be preserved. Many of our troubles, if you stop to think of it, may be ascribed to a lack of this quiet conviction. What is crime but lack of respect for law? What is pollution but lack of respect for the rights of others? What is inferior workmanship but lack of respect for quality? What is slanted news reporting but lack of respect for truth? Can this sort of respect to nurture in children? I think it can, not by pious hopes or wishful thinking. You have to demand it. Demand what? Fair play, for one thing, which is an elementary form of respect. It can begin with something as simple as toy-sharing. It can continue through the storytelling stage, where such qualities as courage, loyalty and honor can be shown to be exciting and desirable to growing minds. You can teach respect for the nation by telling children about – or taking them to see – places where our history was mad: Independence Hall or Valley Forge, Gettysburg or the Alamo or the sand dunes of Kitty Hawk. This slow implantation of values can continue, with parents always the prime example, until a self-imposed code of conduct takes over, a code that whispers to the child, “You do thus and so because this is what people who set high standards do.” When that point is reached, respect becomes self-respect. Resilience. This ability to cope with change is certain to be crucial requirement in the years ahead. Those who cling rigidly to the status quo are the ones most likely victims of future shock. How do you help a child acquire this adaptability? The best way I know is to encourage those qualities that seem to be antidotes to brittleness of mind and spirit. Warm heartedness, for example, Parents can encourage it by applauding it, admiring it, and demonstrating it themselves through their closeness and affection. Children who receive a lot of love turn into adults who can give it. And love is the greatest shock absorber of all. Or the lively trait of curiosity. Rigid people tend to be uninterested people; somehow they have given up being seekers of the why. Or the marvelous solvent of humor, especially the capacity occasionally to laugh at oneself. A famous psychiatrist once told me that they had never been called on to treat anyone who had the gift of self-directed humor. And he added that he thought it could be passed along, like a priceless heirloom, from one generation to another. Hope. This last attribute may well be the one the world needs most. It’s the bravest quality of all, this ability to look past dark times to brighter ones, to believe that questions do have answers, that challenges can be met, that problems will be solved. To bring up hopeful children, a parent needs to be hopeful himself. Pessimism, fear and gloom are highly contagious; if a home is saturated with them, a child’s natural optimism can hardly survive. If, on the other hand, he is constantly taught that when there’s failure there’s always a next time, that when hard times come they can build character and endurance, this attitude in itself will make uncertainties seem less frightening and crisis less critical. To me the greatest of all hope-builders and hope-sustainers is a strong religious faith. I say this not as a minister’s wife, but as an observer of people. If a person firmly believes that 7
there is a loving God who cares about people and stands ready to support and help them, such a person has a source of strength that will never leave him. No matter what problem he may be called upon to face, that inner conviction will keep him going until he overcomes the problem or makes a constructive adjustment to it. “Trust God and live one day at a time.” Long ago, my husband and I decided that these were the nine words we would live by, and try to pass along with our children. I commend them to any parents striving to prepare their own children for the challenges that lie a head. MAN IS WISER THAN ANY MAN by WILL DURANT I address you not as one white with wisdom or practiced in the ways of the world, but as fellow student handicapped with age, yet as ever to learn something between every rising and setting of the sun. You must season my platitudes with grain of salt, and grant me tolerant allowance that youth must always make for age. Health My first request to you is: Be healthy. It is within your will. Baring inherited or childhood ailments, sickness are a crime: it means that you have done something physiologically foolish, and that nature is being hard to put to repair your mistake. Our bodies are what we eat, plus what our ancestors ate. Don’t let restaurants lure you; they will burden your flesh in proportion as they lighten your purse. Perhaps one of the cardinal errors of our time and land is that we continue in a sedentary life the diet that served to provide muscle and heat. The hospitals are littered with people who have allowed an excess of imports over exports to disturb their internal economy. And exercise! Nature intended thought to be a guide to action, not a substitute for it, thought unbalanced by action is unnatural. Do some physical work for at least an hour everyday. Sex Sex, after hunger, is our strongest instinct and greatest problem. Nature is infatuated with continuance, and dolls up the woman with beauty and the man with money to lure them into continuing the species; and so it gives to us males such sensitivity to charms of women that we can go quite mad in their pursuit. Sex then becomes a fire and a flame in the blood, and burns up the whole personality – which should be hierarchy and harmony of desires. Our ancestors played this sexual impulse down, knowing that is was strong enough without encouragement; we have blown it up with a thousand forms of incitation, advertisement, emphasis and display, and have armed it with the doctrine that inhibition is dangerous – the control of impulse – is the first principle of civilization. Marriage Don’t let your choice of a mate be determined by the accident of propinquity or the pressure of physiological needs. Don’t buy a grab bag in a coma. Let at least three months intervene between betrothal and marriage.
The difficulties of marriage are far less than its rewards. One touch of a woman’s hand can be paradise, if the touch is not for too much. Napoleon said that the only happiness he had ever known was in loving his children, and I hope you will not have children without marriage. Character Character comes second only to health. The greatest task assumed by schools is to transform egos into gentleman. A gentleman, as my wife once defined it, is a person continually considerate. Speak no evil of anyone; every unkind word will sooner or later fly back into your face and make your stumble in the race of life. To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. If you can’t say good and encouraging things, say nothing. Nothing is often a good thing to do, and always a clever thing to say. Religion Those of your who specialize in science will find it hard to understand religion unless you can feel, as Voltaire did, that the harmony of the spheres reveals a cosmic mind. We are such microscopic particles in so immense a universe that none of us is in a position to understand the world, much less to dogmatize about it. Pascal trembled at the thought of man’s bewildered minuteness between the immensity of the whole and the complexity of each part. “These infinite spaces,” he said, “frighten me!” Let us be careful how we pit our pitiful generalizations against the infinite variety, scope and subtlety of the world. Economics Build an economic basis under your life, but don’t get caught in the rattrap of moneymaking as a profession. That, like sex, can be a consuming fever, which bring only fitful pleasures, no lasting happiness. If you become an employer, your relation with your employees is more important than adding a zero to your wealth. Give every employee the full equivalent of his share in the product. Don’t live in a boastful luxury based on taking more from the world than your give. Intellect We have put too much stress in recent times on intellect, too little on character. We have sharpened our wits while weakening our restraints. We exaggerate the value of newness in ideas and things. It is so much easier to be original and foolish than original and wise. The customs, convention and beliefs of mankind are the product of trial-and-error experience through many centuries. It is unlikely that any individual, however, intellectually brilliant, can come in one lifetime to such knowledge and depth of understanding as to sit safely and wisely in judgment on ancient ways. Man is wiser than any man. Hence there is something disagreeably shallow about sophistication; it suggests cleverness about the part and ignorance of the whole. Modesty makes wisdom wiser, as it makes beauty lovelier.
The Mounting Heritage The whole world of knowledge, technology, morals, manners, government, literature, philosophy and art is your mounting heritage, which has grown incredibly through the centuries and is so rich that you will never be able to exhaust it. Drink the brimming cup of life to the full and to the end – and thank God and nature for its trials and challenges, its punishments and rewards, its gifts of beauty, wisdom, labor and love. HANG-UPS THAT HAUNT US By Norman Vincent Peale Day after day the mailman challenges me with a small avalanche of letters. Even before I open them, I know what’s there. Problems. It’s almost as if the great Arranger of things felt the problems are essential human growth and development- otherwise. He would have never have allowed so many to plague and baffle us. I’m convinced that the Creator also planted in each of us the capacity to deal with our problems. What, then, prevents so many thousands of troubled correspondents from reaching their own solutions? It’s not lack of intelligence, as a rule, or lack of education. Almost always, I conclude, it’s because they have certain roadblocks in their minds, psychic obstacles that limit or paralyze their problem-solving abilities. Whatever their problem, real or imaginary, they're convinced they can’t cope with it. And so, of course, they can’t. As Emerson said, “Life consists in what a man is thinking all day.” If you think success, you create a climate in which success is probable. If you’re think failure, you set the stage for it. Since these mind-shackles have no tangible existence, they must be dealt with on a spiritual level. When I offer suggestions, therefore, I find them in religious principles that have been used successfully by suffering people for centuries. This is the message that I’ve been trying to get across for more than forty years: religion isn’t set of rules and beliefs handed down from the dim forgotten past. It’s a reservoir of mind changing concepts which can give anyone enormous leverage in dealing with problems, great or small. I believe, that there four major mental hang-ups, and that almost always one or another is casting its shadow over the problem-ridden person. Self-Doubt. Some years ago, I remember, a man came to see me full of apprehension. A self-made businessman, he had just been made ambassador to a European country. Most people would have been pleased, but self-doubt had convinced him that he would never be able to master the social graces of diplomacy, or learn a foreign language. He thought that he should back out of the whole thing. “Stop running yourself down,” I told him. “Concentrate on the talents God did give you. You haven’t picked for your linguistic ability or your social graces. You’ve been picked because you’re tough, honest, plainspoken, patriotic American. That’s what we need overseas. So tell yourself you can do a good job, ask God to help you and go on over there and do it”. And that, as it turned out, is precisely what he did. Sometimes I suggest to my despondent correspondents that they are displaying more strength and courage than they think. They have come this far in a difficult life-situation and are still functioning. I may urge them to choose one episode in their lives where they excelled, 10
then relive it as vividly as they can until the image of themselves as a victorious person burns bright again. A remind them that the best way to forget their own problems is to help someone else solve his. Finally I tell them where they can find triumphant passages in the Bible. The blazing call to courage in Joshua 1:9, for example: “Be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee where so sever thou goest.” Or the opening words of the 27th Psalm: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” I urges them to memorize such passages, let them sink deep into the twilight regions of the mind where, slowly but surely, they will drive out the demon of self-doubt. It’s never easy. Changing patterns of thought is the hardest thing in the world. But it can de done. I know, because I have seen so many people do it. Resentment. Every batch of mail I receive brings letters from people convinced that their difficulty is the result of some failing on the part of somebody else. Quite often they themselves deny any feeling of ill will. It’s always the other fellow, who has shown the ill will, said the spiteful word, done the hateful thing. Even so, their own suppressed anger often surges behind every word. Such unresolved resentment is far more damaging to the person who harbors it than to the object of it. Carrying a load of anger around with your wastes your energy. It blocks communication. Christ told us that it was useless to pray with resentment in our hearts. “Go first and be reconciled with your brother,” He said – and said nothing about who might be in the right or in the wrong. Another of His commandments, to “pray for those who despitefully use you,” is specifically designed to neutralize resentment. Believe me, it’s difficult thing to do. A few years ago, I found myself target of quite a barrage of criticism from some of my fellow ministers. They said that I made. Christianity sounds too easy. Well, there’s nothing easy about a religion that requires you to pray for people who have hurt you. But I made myself do it, because I knew it was the best and quickest way to get the resentment out of my system. The only permanent answer to resentment, of course, is forgiveness. Sometimes this takes time. When the disciples asked the Lord if they should forgive up to seven times, He answered, “Seventy times seven.” He knew that is some cases it might take 490 separate efforts before the grudge could be eliminated. Guilt. Religion has always known that lasting guilt can be a deadly poison. Buried or repressed guilt feelings don’t just fade away. They stay there, festering. Religion teaches that the only way to deal with a guilt problem is to regret the offense, resolve not to repeat it, make amends if possible, and seek forgiveness of the person you have wronged – and then forget it. If you do these things, the wound in your psyche will heal cleanly and leave no scar. But many people will not follow this blueprint. The other day a lawyer told me about difficulties he was having in his job; he couldn’t concentrate; he was irritable; he didn’t sleep well. What should he do? “Answer a question truthfully,” I said. “Is there any area in your life that would cause you great dismay if you saw it reported in tomorrow’s headline?” He stared at me. “Well,” he said finally, “I guess so. Everyone has a few skeletons in his closet, doesn’t he?” “Not if he’s intelligent,” I said. “Until you give those skeletons a decent burial and clean up your life you’re going to go right on being poisoned by guilt feelings.” 11
The man, executor of his father’s estate, had been cheating his brothers and sisters of their rightful share of the inheritance. He had persuaded himself in his conscious mind that it didn’t matter, that they need never know that they already had enough money. But such rationalizations did not appease the unconscious guilt. It was only when he made amends and sought forgiveness that he had began to climb back out of the pit. “Blessed is he,” says the Bible, “whose transgression is forgiven.” It’s a message that should be pondered by every person who keeps trying to forget ahead with the dead hand of guilt holding him back. Worry. This fourth hang-up is the most common of all. Worry, a wise man once said, is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. “If encouraged, he added, “it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” Over the years, I’ve had letters foretelling everything from religion’s doom to atomic war. Dozens of people worry about their health: just today I read a letter from a woman convinced that she was destined to have cancer because her grandmother died of it. All these things are conceivable, but far from inevitable. The truth is that the vast majority of feared disasters will probably never take place. In any case, merely worrying about them does nothing to prevent them. One remedy for excessive worry is a clear understanding of how much emotional and physical damage it can do. “Worry,” said the great Dr. Charles Mayo, “affects the circulation, the heart, the glands, the whole nervous system. I have never known a man died from overwork, but many who died from doubt.” Another remedy is deliberately to distract yourself. Play a game. Go for a walk. See a movie. Chop wood. Dig a garden. Paint a fence. Do anything except sit and brood. If you change your setting, you can usually change your mood. But the greatest remedy of all is faith in God, belief that He is, that He cares, and that He stands ready to help, If God be for us,” said St. Paul, “who can be against us?” Worries shrivel in the face of such conviction. Trust God, and live one day at a time. That’s the best antidote for worry I know. If you can do that the fourth hang-up will never haunt you. Problems! The world will continue full of them. But we shouldn’t complain or despair. Challenge and response – that’s what life is. That’s where the greatest triumphs and fulfillment lie. Sweep away self-doubt, resentment, guilt, worry – and you’ll be amazed at how the strength and joy come flooding in. MISTAKES It is all right to make mistakes. It is from our mistakes that we learn most. When you do something right, you are overwhelmed by your achievement and do not have the time and energy to pause for some review and reflection. When you make a mistake, you normally analyze what happened and thereby, learn from the experience. As the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. When you kiss the one you love, you might risk getting slapped or there is an even chance of getting kissed in return. Try it. Also try giving your boss the pleasant surprise of finishing your work ahead of time. See that delighted expression in his or her face.
(Philippine Daily Inquirer)
Compensation Who never wept knows laughter but a jest; Who never failed, no victory has sought; Who never suffered, never lived his best; Who never doubted, never really thought. Who never feared, real courage has not shown; Who never faltered, lacks a real intent; Whose soul was never troubled has not known The sweetness and the peace of real content. The Ways of the Lord I asked God for strength, that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn to obey. I asked for help, that I might do greater things, I was given Infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy. I was given Poverty that I might be wise. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life. I was given Life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for – but every thing that I had hoped for despite myself, my prayers were answered I am among all men most richly blessed. The Unknown Soldier How to Relax “, a basic cause of tension is putting too much emphasis on the ultimate goal, trying hard to win. It is good to have a clear mental picture of your objective; but your attention should be concentrated on the specific job at hand. And when that job is done, remember that there will be Someone else to do tomorrow. So relax! Life us not a 100-yard dash, but more in the nature of a cross-country run. If we sprint all the time, we not only fail to win The race but we many not last long enough to reach the goal!” Joseph H. Kennedy
To one who goes life hypnotized by thoughts of Inferiority,
I would say: “In actuality, you are quite strong and wise and successful You have done rather well in making a tolerable human existence Out of the raw materials at your disposal. There are those who Love and honor you for what you really are. Take off your dark Colored glasses, assume your, place as an equal in the adult World and realize that your strength is adequate to meet the Problems of that world.” “, if we acquire the art of proper self-love; if aided by religion, we free ourselves from shadow fear, and learn honestly to face grief and to transcend it; if we flee from immaturity and boldly shoulder adult responsibilities; if we appraise and accept ourselves as we really are, how then can 13
we fail to create a good life for ourselves? For the inward peace will be ours.” Dr. Joseph Loth Liebman Indecision There is probably more harm resulting from the lack of decision than From the wrong decision. The secret is to distinguish between the inAbility to make decision and the wisdom of waiting for a new evidence In some circumstances a decision can’t be given at the moment, But in many instances it is possible and advantageous to make up your Minds in one way or another more promptly than we don. The postponement Of a decision for the sake of further study is desirable, but sheer Procrastination needlessly delays action and invites frustration. Needless Burden Nothing burdens or weights us down so needlessly as does some grudge or resentment held against another. Usually resentment grow out of misunderstanding or from unwillingness to face honestly some disagreeable or embarrassing situation. Opposite conclusions are frequently drawn by two people from the same set of circumstances. Often times opponents do not differ so much in their aims or objectives as in their methods. Therefore it is well to remove the areas of disagreement rather than to build up walls of prejudices. It is surprising how quickly resentment is removed when we try to recall the good things that may be said about our adversary. Sorrow And Joy Sorrow and joy are yoked together not for contrast but because they are different expressions of the same physiological condition – excessive emotional tension. They are twin foci around which emotion revolves. It is a fallacy to assume that sorrow implies evil and that joy represent happiness, for even if in laughers the heart is sad and of joy is heaviness. Love, which is a part of joy, is so wrapped up with grief that we would not want our grief be taken from us, even if it could be. Sorrow and joy belong together. They are precious experiences, which deepen understanding and give meaning to life. The Indispensable The word love is greatly over worked and terribly misused, often connoting expression from orgies to bliss. The Greeks make a distinction in kinds of love. Charos or charity means to have a common concern for others. Agape signifies primarily a voluntary, active affection such as spiritual quality links God and man and unites soul in divine communion. Philias implies a social love, a filial relationship or friendship. Eros is used to describe sexual or erotic love. Storgi designates the kind of relationship or love that is found in the family and in natural affection. True love involves loyalty. Loyalty is love with a plus. Loyalty is philias that is strong enough to hold people together under any circumstances. This kind of love has been described as being “patient and kind,” not jealous or boastful; nor arrogant or rude, does not insist on its wrong, but rejoices in the right, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. The Free Man Unless a person can control his passions, his desires, and his fears he is not in a possession of himself. No man is free who is not in concerned of himself. 14
Since man’s worth is measured not in terms of what he does or what he has, but what he is, it is desirable for us to become masters of ourselves. This means that we must be inner directed, motivated by convictions rather than pushed about, like a weather vane, by pressure from without. This ability to act in accord with out convictions, to do what we ought and want to do and not as someone else’s wants us to do, is to be free. Face Into The Gale The experience sailor knows that a vessel must head into a storm to avoid shipwreck. He must keep the ship facing into the gale. It takes courage to head seemingly into further trouble but it is only by facing difficulties that they can be conquered. There are something that cannot be avoided and which if not resisted will overcome and overwhelm us. The difficulty with trying to run away from an adversary is that an adversary, like the wind, run faster, soon catches up and overcome all in its wake. The wise man never turns his back on trouble, he faces it, and in so doing becomes a victor instead of a victim. Two Together Have you seen from vantage point the confluence of two great rivers? And have your remarked how one, like the rapid flowing Blue Nile, carries with it even to the delta far away much of the rich and muddy soil from the country through which is passes? Beside it moves the slower river from the plains, the White Nile clear by comparison. Once joined together these two great rivers are distinguishable for mile as they flow side by side in the same riverbed. They are separate yet united. So too, when two separate yet loving hearts begins to live their lives together they may for sometime go side by side, like two merged streams not fully united, yet they longer they stay together the more they have in common, continually losing some of their identity until they become as one. Each becomes an inseparable part of the other – as they become a family. Two people husband and wife may like a river, later separate but the whole is diminished thereby and part of one goes with part of the other. Like Shades and Stream In A Dry Land A man shall be “like a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest, like streams of water in a dry place, like the shade of a great rock in a weary land.” This ancient description of a man is not some pious, over idealistic goal, which can never be achieved. It is a practical philosophy of life, which stands a challenge of what man ought to be and of what man can be. When life strip us bare of what was once held dear, when the towering shelter and comfort of some love one has been taken away, when the very things to which we have given ourselves are destroyed, when life has become barren like a desert, then it is good to have a friend and to be a friend who will be as river of water or as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. Worry, Anxiety and Fear Anxiety is a signal of implementing disaster and worry is the mental activity that attempts to find a way of handling the threat. Anxiety and worry then can be constructive forces helping us to find our way through life. In this sense our best safety lies in anxiety and worry. Fear springs from ignorance. Knowledge is an antidote to fear. Faith counteracts fear. There come a time when we have to accept on faith the things about which we lack knowledge. Perfect love cast our fear. Things Don’t Just Happen A great many things happen without any apparent reason or purpose. In fact we often seem to be innocent victims of capricious, cruel and impersonal forces. Even though explanation of event is hidden. Science assures us that things just don’t happen. A host of factors enter into 15
every act. Every little thing, imperceptible and insignificant though it may seem, makes its contribution. A minimum number of blows by hammer on a chisel are required to split the rock, a minimum number of snow flakes must melt before the ground is cooled enough to let others lodged unharmed. So too, myriad deeds are required to make possible each great event in history. Our littlest effort helps make great things possible. Reconciliation Probably the greatest need of the world today is for reconciliation. In order to establish the proper relationship with others, we must be willing to admit ourselves of the responsibility and be willing to forgive. If we have been wronged, and then we must be willing to forgive unconditionally, for partial forgiveness is not forgiveness at all. To admit our share of the guilt may not restore damage done, but it will reassure the other person that our motives are well intended. Admission of guilt and forgiveness are twin foci around which reconciliation revolves. To Yield or To Resist Many may not be able to create or control the great forces that are at work around him, but he can learn to reckon with them, to resist or to yield, as exegesis demand. Just as the sailor cannot raise the wind or direct its course, but can put himself in the way of the great trade winds, resisting or yielding as circumstances warrant, so our response to situations will determine our direction. In order to reach our destination against sever opposition we, like the skipper sailing against the wind, may need to move sideways and even backwards in order to move forward. The successful person is one who learns to make progress in spite of difficulties. The Eternal Now Among the philosophers the present is the “moment.” The present is all-important; it is that instant we decide what the past shall mean to us and how the future shall take shape. Our use of “the moment” then reflects our meaning of existence. For each person who believes himself to be the product of circumstances beyond his control, the present moment has lost significance and life has lost its purpose. With our hands we hold all that is precious from the past. Through us all that is of value in the past will be transmitted to the future. We of this generation, are the living link between the past and the future. We are the present. Two Loving Hearts Marriage is the bond that ties two loving hearts together. As each ministers to the other, stand by the other, complements as well as compliments the other, the relationship is made fast like the strands of a rope. Love does not consist of two people gazing fondly into each other’s eyes but in moving together in the same direction. As the maple can not grow under the shadow of the towering oak, so one helpmate can not develop under the domination of the other. Husband and wife, like two musicians playing different notes on different instruments should be able to create harmony as the tones of one blend with those of the other. Living By Grace Grace is doing for another being kindnesses he doesn’t deserve, hasn’t earned, could not asked for, and can’t repay. Its main facets are beauty, kindness, gratitude, charm, favor and thankfulness. Grace offers man what he cannot do for himself. The unwritten creed of many is that God is under obligation to them, but grace suggests that we are under obligation to God. To live in that consciousness is to live by grace. Living by grace is costly; it means sharing. It has no meaning, apart from spirit of self-sacrifice that prompts the soul to think more of giving than of receiving of caring for others rather than for one’s self. 16
Two Worlds There is often conflict between the ideal and the practical, the remote and the immediate, and this conflict presents real problems. No simple formula will solve these differences, we are asked to live according to idealistic, other worldly standards and yet we must be judged by this world’s practical standards. We are like the pilot who is airborne yet earthbound. As idealist we may live on a different plane and with a different set of standards than the pragmatist. The idealist will, for instance regard love as a higher, broader basis of judgment than sheer retributive justice. He will seek to lay up treasures in heaven rather than upon earth. He will measure values in terms of service to others rather than benefit to self. We need constantly to lift our sights above worldly standards, the extent to which we will respond to either of the contrasting situations will depend largely upon the pressures brought to bear, upon the strength of our courage and conviction, upon the clarity which we see the issue. “, that which we are, we made weak by time and fate but strong in will to seek, to strive, to find and not to yield.” Ulysses A good woman is like a good book, entertaining inspiring and instructive. Sometimes a bit too wordy but when properly bound and decorated – irresistible. I wish I could afford a library. The Best Memory System Forget each kindness that you do As soon as you have done it; Forget the praise that falls on you. The moment you have done it; Forget the slander that you hear Before you can repeat it; Forget, each slight, each spite, each sneer Whenever you may meet it. Remember every kindness done To you whatever its measure; Remember praise by others won And pass it on with pleasure Remember every promise made And keep it to the letter, Remember those who lend you aid And be a great full debtor. Remember all the happiness That comes your way in living, Forget each worry and distress; Be hopeful and forgiving Remember good, remember truth Remember heaven’s above you, And you’ll find through age and youth True joy and hearts to love you.
THE ESSENCE OF LIFE LONG FRIENDSHIP A lifelong friend Is one who enters your life At a time when they are needed most. Though you may not understand it, There will be an instant bonding between You and a realization that this person was brought to you, Not only to fill an emptiness Or assist you in time of need, But to form an eternal friendship. A lifelong friend Is a friend who knows you like no other, Who is so much a part of you That distance does not cause separation They will hurt when you hurt And feel joy when you are joyous. They know your imperfections And they accept them as part of you. Though they may not agree with your decisions, They will always support you completely In everything you do They respect your right To make your life what you want it to be. When all the others have come and gone, This friend will be with you, Even if your world falls apart, They will be there to build it back up Better and stronger than before This is the essence of lifelong friendship - LISA VAN ALLEN LOVE AND LIFE It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in the relationship and find out you still care for that person. One sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look, too long at the closed door that we don’t see the one that has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on the porch and swing with never saying a word and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. Giving all your love is never an assurance that someone will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in the heart, but if it doesn’t, be content to know that someone grew in your heart. There are things you’d love to hear that you would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear them from but don’t be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from the heart. Never say good-bye if you still want to try. Never give up if you still can go on; never say you 18
don’t love a person anymore if you can’t let go. Love comes to those who still hope to love and need love, although they’ve been hurt before and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again, have betrayed them. It takes only a minute to get crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone; but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; for even wealth fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a little smile to brighten your day. Hope you find the one who makes you smile. Do not choose to marry a person you can live with but marry a person you cannot live without. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick him/her from your dream and hug him/her for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet; enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurt’s you, it probably hurt’s the person, too. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life; a loving word may heal and bless. The beginning of love is to let those who love be just themselves and not twist them with our own image; otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes their way. Happiness lies in wait for those who cry, those who are hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grow with a kiss, and ends with tears. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go one will in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life to the fullest so that when you die, you are the one who was smiling and everyone around is crying. PROCRASTINATION DISTORTS YOUR FUTURE SOMEDAY, One day. If. Tomorrow. In the future. Next time. Bahala na. May bukas pa. Saka na. When you often use these words in your life, then you are habitually wasting your time. This time waster is commonly known as procrastination. Procrastination is postponing for the future what you can do now. It is also symptomatic of a lack of direction and planning in your life. It signals that you have no clear priorities and that you are less than determined and committed to whatever you are doing now. When you postpone doing something, more often than not, it never gets done. NOBODY’S JOB This bring to mind a favorite poster of my former training assistant, Karen Castro, entitled “That’s not my job”. It goes: “This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry with that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done”. Karen is now in Ilocos Norte and is happily managing and teaching at her pre-school. Without giving it a second thought, she followed her heart and went home to her family. To this day I’ve not remove the poster from my office to serve as a reminder when I get the tendency to postpone doing something.
When you postpone doing a task no matter how menial, you cramp your style. You push yourself to the wall. You don’t give yourself a choice. You put yourself in a box and you limit your mobility. You unduly put pressure on your heart. You put a burden on your mind. Sometimes, you even spend sleepless nights over it. You are lulled into a restless mindset that postponing doing a task will make it less difficult or it will solve itself or simply go away and be forgotten. Wrong. When you postpone doing a task, it becomes bigger and more difficult to do because you are now running against the nature of time. The postponed task becomes less attractive and m ore burdensome. You will have the tendency to further postpone it or totally junk it. Whatever good results may come from it is diminished in value because it might have outlived its usefulness. MOMENTS OF REGRET To continue our Workshop on Living Life On Time to Achieve Life Plans, let’s have a little exercise. Think back and write down those moments when you were regretful and sad about life. Don’t continue reading until you have done this. I am sure those times of regrets and sadness were caused more by you sins of omission or postponement rather than by what you did with all honesty and sincerity. Doing something without integrity is also a form of postponement like when you do something for the sake of doing it and not because you really wanted to do it. For example, you are an accountant and you simply do your usual debit and credit entries notwithstanding some doubts in your mind. Then, after submitting your report, you need to spend more time to redo your work. In your job, to postpone doing something is considered a very bad attitude towards your work. It could derail you from ascending the ladder of success. Nobody wants to work with somebody who does not finish a job. MISTAKES It is all right to make mistakes. It is from our mistakes that we learn most. When you do something right, you are overwhelmed by your achievement and do not have the time and energy to pause for some review and reflection. When you make a mistake, you normally analyze what happened and thereby, learn from the experience. As the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. When you kiss the one you love, you might risk getting slapped or there is an even chance of getting kissed in return. Try it. Also try giving your boss the pleasant surprise of finishing your work ahead of time. See that delighted expression in his or her face. (Philippine Daily Inquirer) DON’T QUIT When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill When the funds are low And the debts are high And you want to smile, but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, 20
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit. Life is queer with its twist and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out; Don’t give up though the pace seems slowYou may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned inside outThe silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when You’re hardest hitIt’s when the things seem worst that you must not Quit. DON’T GIVE UP Don’t give up whatever life brings. Continue to move forward and strive to succeed. Don’t give up on your hopes and your dreams. But hold on to them diligently. No one said life would never be tough. No one said things would never be rough. It’s easy to be strong when things are going well. But it takes extra courage when things aren’t so well. If what comes your way does not break you. Then all it can do is strengthen you. And in a little while, it will shape you.. Into a tougher, wiser and more confident person. Relax if you need be, but don’t give in. Remain strong and don’t be beaten. Your strength is not in giving in, But, in not quitting, and in hoping to win. THE DIFFERENCE I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day; I had so much to accomplish that I didn’t have time to pray. Problems just stumbled about me, and heavier came each task. 21
“Why doesn’t God help me? I wondered, He answered , “But you didn’t ask”. I wanted to see joy and beauty but the day toiled on, gray and bleak; I wondered why God didn’t show me, He said, “But you didn’t seek”. I tried to come into GOD’s presence, I used all my keys to the lock; God gently and lovingly chided, “My child, You didn’t knock”. I woke up early this morning, and paused before entering the day; I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray. - UNKNOWN MAKING LIFE WORK: UNLIMIT YOURSELF! By: Jim Roberts Fear of failure can keep us from developing a skill that is well within our abilities. Think about this proverb: “For a man fallth seven times, and riseth up again” (Proverbs 24:16). We all have ceilings on our abilities. But winners don’t full short through their own selfimposed limits. If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you don’t. If you’d like to win but you think you don’t; it’s always certain, you won’t. Life battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can. You’ll never know how high you can go if you unlimit yourself. So what if you full down seven times or seventy! Just remember that success means getting up just one more time than you fall. PRESS ON By Calvin Coolidge (90th President of the United States) Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent cannot; nothing is more unsuccessful men and Women with talent. Genius cannot; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb Education cannot; the world is full of educated derelicts Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent
WORDS OF WISDOM Right Attitude of Work “ To finish things you have to start them. It seems a truism, but you so often lack that simple decision. And how satan rejoices in your ineffectiveness “. “ You cannot sanctify work with humanly speaking is slapdash, for we must not otter GOD badly-done jobs “. “ By neglecting small details you could work on and on without rest and yet live the life of a perfect idler “. “ All motivation is self-motivation. Your family, your boss or your co-workers can try to get your engine going, but until you decide what to accomplish, nothing will happen “. - Wisdom, Inc.Loyalty “ A consequences of loyalty is your assurance that you are walking along the right road, without being unsettled or confused. You are also strengthened in this additional certainty: that good sense and happiness exist. See whether this is fulfilled in every instant of your life “. Not Losing Hope “ We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope “. Martin Luther King, Jr.
THIS IS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST UNUSUAL USES OF OUR ALPHABET THAT WE HAVE EVER SEEN. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS WE DID. Whoever came up with this one must have had some divine guidance, I was impressed!
Although things are not perfect Because of trial or pain Continue in thanksgiving Do not begin to blame Even when the times are hard Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able Hold on to what you know Imagine life without His love Joy would cease to be Keep thanking Him for all the things Love imparts to thee Move out of "Camp Complaining" No weapon that is known On earth can yield the power Praise can do alone Quit looking at the future Redeem the time at hand Start every day with worship To "thank" is a command Until we see Him coming Victorious in the sky We'll run the race with gratitude Xalting God most high Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but... Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.
NOAH’S ARK Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark … 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: Don’t miss the boat. Remember that we are all in the same boat. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark. Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Build your future on high ground. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. When you’re stressed, float awhile. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting. INVICTUS Out of the night that covers me Black as the pit from pole to pole I thanks whatever Gods may be For my unconquerable soul In the fell clutch of circumstances I have not winced nor cried aloud Under the bludgeoning of chance My head is bloody but unbowed Beyond this place of wreath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid It matters not how straight the gate How charge with punishment the scrolls I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul Giving and Forgiving What makes life worth living Is our giving and forgiving, Giving tiny bits of kindness That will leave joy behind us, And forgiving bitter trifles That the right word often stifles For the little things are bigger Than we often stop to figure What makes life with living Is our giving and forgiving
Like Shades and Stream In A Dry Land A man shall be “like a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest, like streams of water in a dry place, like the shade of a great rock in a weary land.” This ancient description of a man is not some pious, over idealistic goal, which can never be achieved. It is a practical philosophy of life, which stands a challenge of what man ought to be and of what man can be. When life strip us bare of what was once held dear, when the towering shelter and comfort of some love one has been taken away, when the very things to which we have given ourselves are destroyed, when life has become barren like a desert, then it is good to have a friend and to be a friend who will be as river of water or as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. THE COUNSELS OF ADHURBADH, SON OF MAHRASPAND (ADVICE ON LIVING A GOOD LIFE) This is an advice on living a good life establish by Zoroaster 2,000 BC and these teachings are embodied in all world great religions. What is true 2,000 BC still applicable to our modern society to live in peace and happiness. ([Source for text:] Pahlavi Texts [ed. J. D. Jamasp-Asana, Bombay, 1897], pp. 58-71) (1) It is related that Adhurbadh had no child of his body and that he thereafter put his trust in the yazads. And it was not long before a son was (born) to Adhurbadh, and because Zartosht, son of Spitam, had an upright character, he called him Zartosht (Zoroaster), and said "Arise, my son, that I may teach thee civilized behaviour (frahang). (2) My son, think upon virtue and do not turn your thoughts to sin, for man does not live eternally and the things of the spirit are the more greatly to be desired. (3) Put out of your mind what is past and do not fret and worry about what has not yet come to pass. (4) Put not your trust and confidence in kings and princes. (5) Do not do unto others what would not be good for yourself. (6) Be single-minded among rulers and friends. (7) Do not deliver yourself up as a slave to any man. (8) Stay far away from any man who approaches you in anger or in enmity. (9) Hope always and everywhere in the yazads and make friends with such men as will profit you. (10) Strive for the things of the yazads and of the Amahraspands and lay down your life for them (if need be). (11) Tell no secret to a woman. (12) Listen to all that you hear and do not repeat it at random. (13) Do not let your wife and children (out of your sight) except for reasons of good manners (frahang) lest care and grievous annoyance come upon you and you rue it. (14) Do not give (alms) out of season. (15) Give a quick (? si' pas 'ut pêsh) answer (only) if it accords with moderation. (16) Do not mock at anyone. (17) Do not share your secrets with a wrong-headed man. (18) Do not make a choleric [bad tempered] man your travelling companion. (19) Do not take a frivolous man for your counsellor. (20) Do not make a rich man the companion of your table. (21) Do not make a drunkard your boon-companion.
(22) Do not borrow from a man of bad character or base lineage or lend to him, for you will pay heavily in interest, and he will be forever at your door or will always be sending messengers to your house, and great loss will you suffer thereby. (23) Do not summon an ill-disposed person to help you. (24) Do not show your property to an envious man. (25) Do not put into force(?) a false judgment in the presence of rulers. (26) Do not listen to the words of calumniators and liars. (27) Do not be over-zealous in punishing others. (28) Do not pick a quarrel at a feast. (29) Do not strike others. (30) Do not strive for position. (31) Consult men who are of gentle stock, experienced in affairs, clever, and of good character; make these your friends. (32) Take great care that no heavy burden is laid on you in battle.. (33) Keep away from vengeful men in a position of power. [1. Translation uncertain.] (34) Do not come into conflict with a scribe. (35) Do not tell your secrets to a babbler. (36) Hold a wise man whose position is exalted in high esteem, ask his opinion and listen to it. (37) Do not tell a lie to anyone. (38) Do not accept the goods of any man who is devoid of shame. (39) Do not consciously wager on anything at all. (40) Do not take an oath on either what is true or what is false. (41) When you are about to set up house, first take stock of the expense. (42) Woo the woman who is to be your wife yourself. (43) If you (already) have property, start by buying more irrigated agricultural land, for even if it fails to yield interest, the capital will remain. (44) So far as you possibly can, do not bore your fellow men. (45) Do not seek to be avenged on others and do not try to cause them loss. (46) Be as generous with your property as you can. (47) Do not deceive anyone lest you come to grief thereby. (48) Hold your superiors in high esteem, make much of them, and listen to what they say. (49) Borrow only from relations and friends. (50) Cherish the woman who is modest and give her in marriage to a clever and knowledgeable man; for clever and knowledgeable men are like the good earth which yields all manner of produce when once the seed has been planted in it. (51) Be plain in your speech. (52) Never speak without reflection. (53) Lend money only under agreed conditions (pat adhvên). (54) Cherish a wise and modest woman and ask her in marriage. (55) Choose a son-in-law who is good-natured, honest, and experienced even though he be poor, for he will (surely) receive riches from the yazads. (56) Do not mock at your elders, for you are subject to them. (57) Do not send a proud and pitiless man to prison, but choose prison-warders from among big men and (set) an intelligent man (over them). (58) If you have a son, send him to a grammar-school when he is still a boy, for the art of reading and writing is exceedingly well seen. (59) Speak sharply only after much reflection, for there are times when it is better to speak out and times when it is better to hold your peace; (on the whole) to hold one's peace is better than to speak. (60) Choose a man who tells the truth as your messenger. (61) Do not appoint a bought  slave above trustworthy and faithful servants. Spend according to your means. (62) Be courteous in your speech. (63) Keep your conversation courteous. 27
(64) Keep your thoughts righteous. (65) Do not praise yourself; only so will you perform righteous deeds. (66) When in the presence of kings and princes do not appear to be without mercy. (67) Ask the advice of good men of mature age. (68) Accept nothing from a thief nor give anything to him: drive him rather away. (69) As you fear Hell, punish others only after due reflection. (70) Do not put your trust or confidence in anyone or anything at all. [1. Reading 'khrîtak for zatak.] (71) Make good use of authority so that you may obtain a good position (thereby). (72) Be without sin so that you may be without fear. (73) Be grateful so that you may be worthy of good things. (74) Be single-minded so that you may be faithful. (75) Speak the truth so that you may be trusted. (76) Be humble so that you may have many friends. (77) Have many friends so that you may enjoy a good repute. (78) Be of good repute so that you may live at ease. (79) Choose the better part and love your Religion so that you be saved (ahrov). (80) Think on the state of your soul so that you may go to Heaven. (81) Be generous so that you may go to Paradise (garothman). (82) Do not seduce other men's wives, for that is a grievous sin for thy soul. (83) Do not maintain mean and ungrateful men, for they will not thank you. (84) Do not destroy your own soul for the sake of anger or vengeance. (85) When you feel an urgent desire to do or say (something), <ask> politely and say a prayer, for no one ever broke his back by saying his prayers or got foul breath by asking politely. (86) Do not address a low-born person first. (87) When you attend a gathering, do not sit next to a wrong-headed man so that you may not yourself appear wrong-headed. (88) Wherever you sit at a banquet, do not sit in the highest seat lest you be moved away therefrom and made to sit in a lower seat. (89) Do not rely on property and the goods of this world, for property and the goods of this world are like a bird that flies from one tree to another and stays on none. (90) Honor your father and mother, listen to them and obey them, for so long as a man's father and mother live, he is like a lion in the jungle which has no fear of anyone at all; but he who has neither father nor mother is like a widowed woman who is despoiled by men and can do nothing about it and whom all men despise. (91) Give your daughter to a clever and knowledgeable man, for a clever and knowledgeable man is like the good earth which yields up much grain once the seed is sown in it. (92) If you would not be abused by others, do not abuse anyone. (93) Do not be violent or ill-considered in your speech, for the man who is violent or illconsidered in his speech is like a fire that falls upon a forest and burns up all birds and fish and creeping things. (94) Do not collaborate with a man who ill-treats his father and mother and with whom they are displeased, lest your justice be turned to injustice(?) and you be deprived of friends and have no pleasant intercourse with anyone. (95) Do not out of false modesty or shame deliver your soul up to Hell. (96) Do not say anything that has a double meaning. (97) When you sit in an assembly, do not sit next to a liar lest you yourself should suffer greatly thereby. (98) Take things easy (lit. 'be easy-footed') so that you may be a welcome guest. (99) Rise before dawn so that your work may prosper. (100) Do not make a new friend out of an old enemy, for an old enemy is like a black snake which does not forget old injuries for a hundred years. (101) Renew your friendship with old friends, for an old friend is like old wine, which becomes better and more fit for the consumption of princes the older it is.
(102) Praise the yazads and be glad of heart, for it is from the yazads that you will obtain an increase in the good things (of this world). (103) Do not curse a man of princely rank, for there are security officers in (all) the realm who decree what is good for (the king's) subjects. (104) I say unto you, my son, that  in the affairs of men the greatest(?) helper and the best is wisdom, for if one's wealth is scattered and lost or if one's livestock die, wisdom remains. (105) Strive to be firmly anchored in your Religion, for contentment is the highest wisdom (dânâkîh) and the greatest spiritual hope. (106) Keep your soul ever in mind. (107) Do not forsake your duty to preserve your good name. (108) Keep your hands from stealing, your feet from treading the path of undutifulness, and your mind from unlawful desires (varan), for whoso practices virtue obtains his reward, and whoso commits sin receives his punishment. (109) Whoso digs a pit for his enemies will fall into it himself. [1. Reading 'ku for 'kê.] (110) The good man lives at ease but the bad man suffers distress and grievous woe. (111) Marry a young wife. (112) Drink wine in moderation, for whoso drinks wine immoderately falls into many a sin. (113) Since you know well that a snake has many wiles, do not be over-hasty to touch one lest it bite you and you instantly die. (114) Even though you know well a stretch of water much frequented by bathers, do not be over-hasty in going into rough water lest the water carry you away and you instantly die. (115) Do not on any account be false to a contract lest you be held accountable(??) for it. (116) Do not rob others of their property nor keep (what has been robbed) nor add it to your own, for (then) your own (property) will be destroyed and vanish away, for when you carry off property that is not your own and keep it and <add> it to your own ... (gap in text)... (117) ... do not rejoice, for men are like a water-skin full of air. When it is deflated, nothing remains. Men are like suckling babes, creatures of habit who cling to their habits. (149) Do not be overjoyed in  good times nor over-distressed in bad times, for the good fortune of Time turns <to> misfortune and the misfortune of Time turns to good fortune, and there is no "up" that has not been preceded by a "down," and no "down" that is not followed by an "up," (150) Do not be gluttonous (varanîk) in eating your food, (151) and do not partake of all foods. Do not be over-hasty to attend the feasts and banquets of the great lest you return from them abashed. (152) For there are four things which are most harmful to the body of (mortal) men and make them have wrong ideas about their body. One is to glory in one's strength. One is the luxury of pride which (leads [1. Reading 'kadh for 'chê.] one) to pick a quarrel with a well-established (hangat) man. One is (the case of) the elderly man with a puerile character who weds an adolescent girl; and one is (the case of) the young man who weds an old woman. (153) It should be known that love of one's fellow men (proceeds) from a balanced mind (bavandak-mênishnîh), and good character from being nicely spoken. (154) And I say unto you, my son, that  of all the things that give help to man wisdom is the best".
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