By William Shakespeare

Dramatis Personae

ORSINO Duke of Illyria. (DUKE ORSINO) SEBASTIAN brother to Viola. ANTONIO a sea captain, friend to Sebastian. A Sea Captain, friend to Viola. (CAPTAIN) VALENTINE CURIO gentlemen attending on the Duke.


servants to Olivia.

MARIA Olivia’s woman. Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and other Attendants. (PRIEST) (FIRST OFFICER) (SECOND OFFICER) (SERVANT)


SCENE A city in Illyria, and the sea-coast near it.

Twelfth Night

SCENE I DUKE ORSINO’s palace. [Enter DUKE ORSINO, CURIO, and other Lords; Musicians attending]
If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! it had a dying fall: O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound, That breathes upon a bank of violets, Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more: ’Tis not so sweet now as it was before. O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou, That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe’er, But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical.

So please my lord, I might not be admitted; But from her handmaid do return this answer: The element itself, till seven years’ heat, Shall not behold her face at ample view; But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk And water once a day her chamber round With eye-offending brine: all this to season A brother’s dead love, which she would keep fresh And lasting in her sad remembrance.

O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame To pay this debt of love but to a brother, How will she love, when the rich golden shaft Hath kill’d the flock of all affections else That live in her; when liver, brain and heart, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill’d Her sweet perfections with one self king! Away before me to sweet beds of flowers: Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers.

[Exeunt] SCENE II The sea-coast. [Enter VIOLA, a Captain, and Sailors]

Will you go hunt, my lord? What, Curio?


The hart.


Why, so I do, the noblest that I have: O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought she purged the air of pestilence! That instant was I turn’d into a hart; And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E’er since pursue me.

What country, friends, is this? This is Illyria, lady.


And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in Elysium. Perchance he is not drown’d: what think you, sailors?

How now! what news from her?

It is perchance that you yourself were saved.

Volume I Book XIV


bind himself. What else may hap to time I will commit. What great ones do the less will prattle of. CAPTAIN VIOLA I thank thee: lead me on. Who shortly also died: for whose dear love. madam: and. then leaving her In the protection of his son. there’s gold: Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope. Only shape thou thy silence to my wit. SIR TOBY BELCH Who governs here? A noble duke. What’s she? Ay. for I can sing And speak to him in many sorts of music That will allow me very worth his service.—as. Confine! I’ll confine myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink in. Till I had made mine own occasion mellow. after our ship did split. CAPTAIN O that I served that lady And might not be delivered to the world. my lady. They say. Because she will admit no kind of suit. and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer. and I’ll pay thee bounteously. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA Who. well. let her except.Twelfth Night: ACT I VIOLA O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be. When you and those poor number saved with you Hung on our driving boat. SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA What’s that to the purpose? 6 Volume I Book XIV . Where. The like of him. takes great exceptions to your ill hours. CAPTAIN True. captain. CAPTAIN VIOLA What is the name? Orsino. to comfort you with chance. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA Why. Sir Toby. then let mine eyes not see. Assure yourself. I’ll serve this duke: Thou shall present me as an eunuch to him: It may be worth thy pains. Conceal me what I am. No. to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to life. And though that nature with a beauteous wall Doth oft close in pollution. VIOLA Be you his eunuch. and be my aid For such disguise as haply shall become The form of my intent. before excepted. or was so very late. in nature as in name. Courage and hope both teaching him the practise. CAPTAIN VIOLA By my troth. you know. I prithee. madam. Sir Andrew Aguecheek? That were hard to compass. He’s as tall a man as any’s in Illyria. let them hang themselves in their own straps. SIR TOBY BELCH A virtuous maid. you must come in earlier o’ nights: your cousin. CAPTAIN VIOLA Ay. but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. for I was bred and born Not three hours’ travel from this very place. and your mute I’ll be: When my tongue blabs. and so be these boots too: an they be not. the daughter of a count That died some twelvemonth since. she hath abjured the company And sight of men. Know’st thou this country? VIOLA There is a fair behavior in thee. CAPTAIN VIOLA Orsino! I have heard my father name him: He was a bachelor then. And then ’twas fresh in murmur. her brother. CAPTAIN Ay. I saw your brother. Most provident in peril. he. [Exeunt] SCENE III OLIVIA’s house. And so is now. What my estate is! VIOLA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday. Whereto thy speech serves for authority. I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves So long as I could see. yet of thee I will believe thou hast a mind that suits With this thy fair and outward character. To a strong mast that lived upon the sea. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] What a plague means my niece. like Arion on the dolphin’s back. For but a month ago I went from hence. not the duke’s.— That he did seek the love of fair Olivia. For saying so.

Are you full of them? SIR ANDREW MARIA Ay. I think so: I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what’s your jest? SIR ANDREW MARIA With drinking healths to my niece: I’ll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria: he’s a coward and a coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o’ the toe like a parish-top. sir. dancing and bear-baiting: O. MARIA Pourquoi. Accost. Good Mistress Mary Accost. ’tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave. They that add. SIR TOBY BELCH Fie. sir. now I let go your hand. Volume I Book XIV 7 . Sir Toby. wench! Castiliano vulgo! For here comes Sir Andrew Agueface. I have them at my fingers’ ends: marry. I would I might never draw sword again. had I but followed the arts! SIR TOBY BELCH SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake. Fair lady. SIR ANDREW By my troth. Ay. I would not undertake her in this company.— SIR ANDREW What is “Pourquoi”? Do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing. he has three thousand ducats a year. sir. he’s drunk nightly in your company. Never in your life. mistress. MARIA Why. I think. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink. MARIA He hath indeed. would thou mightst never draw sword again. almost natural: for besides that he’s a fool. fair shrew. do you think you have fools in hand? SIR ANDREW MARIA Sir. unless you see canary put me down. I desire better acquaintance. Sir Toby Belch! Sweet Sir Andrew! SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW MARIA Bless you. sir. [Exit] O knight thou lackest a cup of canary: when did I see thee so put down? SIR TOBY BELCH [Enter SIR ANDREW] SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! how now.Twelfth Night: ACT I SIR TOBY BELCH Why. they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW An I thought that. I’ld forswear it. and here’s SIR ANDREW my hand. knight. and speaks three or four languages word for word without book. for thou seest it will not SIR TOBY BELCH Fare you well. curl by nature. but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats: he’s a very fool and a prodigal. he’s a great quarreller: and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling. assail her. Is that the meaning of “accost”? SIR ANDREW MARIA Why. sir. board her. “accost” is front her. “thought is free:” I pray you. MARIA Wherefore. Who are they? SIR TOBY BELCH It’s dry. And you too. Now. MARIA An thou let part so. What’s that? My niece’s chambermaid. but you shall have. Sir Andrew. would that have mended my hair? Past question. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef and I believe that does harm to my wit. woo her. that you’ll say so! He plays o’ the viol-de-gamboys. sir. accost. gentlemen. I am barren. I have not you by the hand. Marry. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW No question. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost. my dear knight? My name is Mary. I’ll ride home to-morrow. sweet-heart? what’s your metaphor? SIR ANDREW MARIA By this hand. and hath all the good gifts of nature. SIR TOBY BELCH A dry jest. What. SIR TOBY BELCH An you part so. moreover. Sir Andrew.

SIR TOBY BELCH Sure. VALENTINE Faith. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW SCENE IV DUKE ORSINO’s palace. SIR TOBY BELCH No. by the excellent constitution of thy leg. man. sir. there thy fixed foot shall grow Till thou have audience. She will attend it better in thy youth Than in a nuncio’s of more grave aspect. nor wit. And all is semblative a woman’s part. my lord. then unfold the passion of my love. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW You either fear his humour or my negligence. Here comes the count. you are like to be much advanced: he hath known you but three days. and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off. thy small pipe Is as the maiden’s organ. ’tis strong. address thy gait unto her. VIOLA Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds Rather than make unprofited return. shrill and sound. Let me see the caper. believe me. for I myself am best DUKE ORSINO Volume I Book XIV . and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock.Twelfth Night: ACT I SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough. SIR TOBY BELCH No. Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith: It shall become thee well to act my woes. it’s four to one she’ll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos her. Some four or five attend him. or if she be. my lord. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Stand you a while aloof. Shall we set about some revels? SIR ANDREW O. All. Tut. it hangs like flax on a distaff. And I can cut the mutton to’t. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Taurus! That’s sides and heart. SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard. if you will. and already you are no stranger. ho? As any man in Illyria. Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen. she never will admit me. I’ll home to-morrow. I can cut a caper. in his favours? VIOLA VALENTINE VIOLA I’ll stay a month longer. here. Cesario. knight? SIR ANDREW [Enter DUKE ORSINO. For they shall yet belie thy happy years. sir. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA I think not so. whatsoever he be. like Mistress Mall’s picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. good youth. stand at her doors. If she be so abandon’d to her sorrow As it is spoke. That say thou art a man: Diana’s lip Is not more smooth and rubious. DUKE ORSINO And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria. [Enter VALENTINE and VIOLA in man’s attire] If the duke continue these favours towards you. And tell them. On your attendance. Art thou good at these kickshawses. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think. does’t not? Excellent. Thou know’st no less but all. I have heard her swear’t. there’s life in’t. I know thy constellation is right apt For this affair. I thank you. neither in estate. Be not denied access. ha! higher: ha. CURIO. and yet I will not compare with an old man. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Say I do speak with her. that you call in question the continuance of his love: is he inconstant. what then? Ay. Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before ’em? Are they like to take dust. ha! excellent! [Exeunt] 8 Dear lad. believe it. years. it was formed under the star of a galliard. I have unclasp’d To thee the book even of my secret soul: Therefore. my lord. and Attendants] DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Who saw Cesario. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. She’ll none o’ the count: she’ll not match above her degree. my noble lord. I am a fellow o’ the strangest mind i’ the world. under the degree of my betters. knight? SIR ANDREW Faith. Cesario. it is legs and thighs. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace.

Do you not hear. of “I fear no colours. In the wars. [Exeunt] SCENE V OLIVIA’s house. take her away. sir. so beauty’s a flower. do very oft prove fools. I’ll no more of you: besides. Go to. and sin that amends is but patched with virtue. Any thing that’s mended is but patched: virtue that transgresses is but patched with sin. no more o’ that. I say again.” CLOWN MARIA Where. than a foolish wit. madonna. very apt. God give them wisdom that have it. I think his soul is in hell. Good madonna. then is the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend himself. Prosper well in this. lady! OLIVIA CLOWN OLIVIA Take the fool away. and those that are fools. that am sure I lack thee. To call his fortunes thine. you grow dishonest. neither. and I. your gaskins fall. if both break. OLIVIA CLOWN OLIVIA CLOWN Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent. I’ll do my best To woo your lady: VIOLA Peace. why mournest thou? Good fool. good madonna. I bade them take away you. he is no longer dishonest. if he cannot. an’t be thy will. And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord. in good faith. or. myself would be his wife. Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage. A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was born. you rogue. then? I must catechise you for it. if Sir Toby would leave drinking.” CLOWN [Aside] Yet. let them use their talents. good Mistress Mary? Sir. CLOWN MARIA You are resolute. CLOWN Misprision in the highest degree! Lady. madonna. CLOWN OLIVIA CLOWN Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colours. that drink and good counsel will amend: for give the dry fool drink. therefore. you were best. He shall see none to fear. for want of other idleness. go thy way. for turning away. put me into good fooling! Those wits. that think they have thee. I’ll bide your proof. for my brother’s death. 9 Volume I Book XIV .Twelfth Night: ACT I When least in company. Here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely. Good madonna. [Enter MARIA and Clown] Nay. cucullus non facit monachum. let the botcher mend him. or. if he mend. OLIVIA CLOWN OLIVIA CLOWN CLOWN Not so. CLOWN Apt. but I am resolved on two MARIA That if one break. and that may you be bold to say in your foolery. Well. what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity. MARIA CLOWN [Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO] God bless thee. to be turned away. madonna: good my mouse of virtue. Well. either tell me where thou hast been. Well. and. that’s as much to say as I wear not motley in my brain. let summer bear it out. fellows? Take away the lady. if it will not. may pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapalus? “Better a witty fool. or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence. Make your proof. MARIA [Exit] Wit. MARIA CLOWN MARIA Make that good. is not that as good as a hanging to you? MARIA Can you do it? Dexterously. answer me. you’re a dry fool. the other will hold. a barful strife! Whoe’er I woo. The lady bade take away the fool. If that this simple syllogism will serve. Two faults. give me leave to prove you a fool. so. thou wert as witty a piece of Eve’s flesh as any in Illyria.

whose skull Jove cram with brains! for. Look you now. guiltless and of free disposition. or not at home. he’s out of his guard already. sir. is it? I know not. What is he at the gate. and people dislike it. how your fooling grows old. you are sick of self-love. Malvolio? doth he not mend? OLIVIA MALVOLIO Go you. how have you come so early by this lethargy? SIR TOBY BELCH Lechery! I defy lechery.—one of thy kin has a most weak pia mater. fool. I told him you were sick. to mourn for your brother’s soul being in heaven. for he’s in the third degree of drink. it’s all one. that decays the wise. half drunk. What think you of this fool. Malvolio.—here he comes. the second mads him. a fool and a mad man: one draught above heat makes him a fool. Malvolio? A gentleman. what is he? Let him be the devil. your kinsman. MALVOLIO I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain than a stone. sir. and let him sit o’ my coz. Go thou and seek the crowner. nor no railing in a known discreet man. Thou hast spoke for us. and taste with a distempered appetite. CLOWN Fetch him off. he takes on MALVOLIO [Exit MARIA] 10 Volume I Book XIV . there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you. OLIVIA From the Count Orsino. look after him. but he will not pass his word for two pence that you are no fool. I protest. madonna. he’s drowned: go. I take these wise men. SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN Now Mercury endue thee with leasing. I pray you. and well attended. Oh. an he will. and shall do till the pangs of death shake him: infirmity. though he do nothing but reprove. CLOWN God send you. OLIVIA Ay. madonna. for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox. Take away the fool. Malvolio: if it be a suit from the count. for thou speakest well of fools! [Exit] OLIVIA CLOWN [Re-enter MARIA] Madam. that crow so at these set kind of fools. cousin. I care not: give me faith. and the fool shall look to the madman. he is gagged. say I. as if thy eldest son should be a fool. Well. madonna. marry. doth ever make the better fool. to dismiss it. OLIVIA [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH] By mine honour.Twelfth Night: ACT I OLIVIA CLOWN I know his soul is in heaven. what you will. The more fool. To be generous. MARIA OLIVIA MARIA What’s a drunken man like. though he do nothing but rail. yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. fool? Like a drowned man. OLIVIA A gentleman! what gentleman? ’Tis a gentle man here—a plague o’ these pickle-herring! How now. madam: ’tis a fair young man. cousin? OLIVIA SIR TOBY BELCH OLIVIA How say you to that. OLIVIA MARIA OLIVIA Who of my people hold him in delay? Sir Toby. sot! SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN OLIVIA Good Sir Toby! Cousin. madam. [Exit MALVOLIO] Now you see. gentlemen. he speaks nothing but madman: fie on him! [Exit] [Re-enter MALVOLIO] Madam. I am sick. is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets: there is no slander in an allowed fool. no better than the fools’ zanies. He is but mad yet. CLOWN Yes. a speedy infirmity. and a third drowns him. There’s one at the gate. unless you laugh and minister occasion to him.

Speak your office.— 11 I can say little more than I have studied. OLIVIA MALVOLIO you or no. MALVOLIO [Exit] [Re-enter MARIA] Give me my veil: come. Some mollification for your giant. you have some hideous matter to deliver. OLIVIA VIOLA Are you a comedian? Tell him he shall not speak with me. What are you? What would you? OLIVIA Most radiant. OLIVIA MARIA VIOLA Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman. Tell me your mind: I am a messenger. Come to what is important in’t: I forgive you the praise. Are you the lady of the house? OLIVIA VIOLA Has been told so. OLIVIA VIOLA The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my entertainment. and then show you the heart of my message. exquisite and unmatchable beauty. for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. what is your text? Most sweet lady. No. Good beauties. Will you hoist sail. keep it in. that I may proceed in my speech. for besides that it is excellently well penned. let me sustain no scorn.Twelfth Night: ACT I him to understand so much. I am.—I pray you. if you have reason. he seems to have a foreknowledge of that too. nor young enough for a boy. OLIVIA [Enter VIOLA. by the very fangs of malice I swear. What is to be said to him. if you are she. when the courtesy of it is so fearful. sir. OLIVIA Of what personage and years is he? Alas. OLIVIA No. I bring no overture of war. and what I would. VIOLA The honourable lady of the house. He is very well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly. Sure. you do usurp yourself. Good gentle one. What kind o’ man is he? Why. will Most certain. MALVOLIO OLIVIA It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you. even to the least sinister usage. OLIVIA modest assurance if you be the lady of the house. my profound heart: and yet. but he’ll speak with you. or a cooling when ’tis almost an apple: ’tis with him in standing water. my words are as fun of peace as matter. VIOLA Not yet old enough for a man. he’ll speak with you. sir? VIOLA [Exeunt MARIA and Attendants] Now. I took great pains to study it. I told him you were asleep. throw it o’er my face. I am very comptible. sweet lady. and be the supporter to a bench. of mankind. VIOLA Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity. profanation. MALVOLIO OLIVIA What manner of man? Of very ill manner. MALVOLIO OLIVIA If I do not usurp myself. he’ll stand at your door like a sheriff’s post. sir? here lies your way. and ’tis poetical. no taxation of homage: I hold the olive in my hand. tell me if this be the lady of the house. good swabber. Gentlewoman. to your ears. I shall answer for her. and he says. my lady calls. and therefore comes to speak with you. OLIVIA Whence came you. Your will? Yet you began rudely. be gone. and Attendants] VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA It alone concerns your ear. I am to hull here a little longer. one would think his mother’s milk were scarce out of him. I heard you were saucy at my gates. What I am. I have taken great pains to con it. give me Volume I Book XIV . be brief: ’tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue. lady? he’s fortified against any denial. and that question’s out of my part. If you be not mad. and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. divinity. are as secret as maidenhead. We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy. But this is from my commission: I will on with my speech in your praise. as a squash is before ’tis a peascod. for I never saw her: I would be loath to cast away my speech. I am not that I play. and therefore comes to speak with you. to any other’s. which is she? Speak to me. between boy and man.

My lord and master loves you: O. OLIVIA [Re-enter MALVOLIO] MALVOLIO Here. if God did all. With groans that thunder love. sir. In voices well divulged. perchance. at your service. In his bosom! In what chapter of his bosom? And in dimension and the shape of nature A gracious person: but yet I cannot love him. if you were the devil. What is your parentage? OLIVIA [Unveiling] VIOLA OLIVIA Excellently done. you are fair. But. in the first of his heart. item. lacks recompense. with sighs of fire. Love make his heart of flint that you shall love. be Placed in contempt! Farewell. sir. item. Where lies your text? OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA In Orsino’s bosom. I will not be so hard-hearted. fair cruelty. not myself. ’twill endure wind and weather. of fresh and stainless youth. thy limbs.” I’ll be sworn thou art. Unless. and so forth. such a one I was this present: is’t not well done? Make me a willow cabin at your gate. Write loyal cantons of contemned love And sing them loud even in the dead of night. You should not rest Between the elements of air and earth. He might have took his answer long ago. such love Could be but recompensed. Thy tongue. Were you sent hither to praise me? OLIVIA I am no fee’d post. VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA To answer by the method. whose red and white Nature’s own sweet and cunning hand laid on: Lady. yet my state is well: I am a gentleman. OLIVIA O. I will give out divers schedules of my beauty: it shall be inventoried. free. ’Tis in grain. I would not understand it. Halloo your name to the reverberate hills And make the babbling gossip of the air Cry out “Olivia!” O. you are the cruell’st she alive. ’Tis beauty truly blent. VIOLA Get you to your lord. lady. What ho. two grey eyes. But you should pity me! You might do much. I cannot love him: let him send no more. thy face. Of great estate. I have read it: it is heresy. know him noble. actions and spirit. one chin. yet my state is well: I am a gentleman. And let your fervor. VIOLA [Exit] “What is your parentage?” “Above my fortunes. with lids to them. Look you. keep your purse: My master. sir. Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him: Yet I suppose him virtuous. like my master’s. soft! Unless the master were the man. Why. To tell me how he takes it. such a deadly life. Well. Do give thee five-fold blazon: not too fast: soft. Fare you well: I thank you for your pains: spend this for me. you are too proud. With such a suffering. what would you? to say? VIOLA OLIVIA Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text: but we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. OLIVIA O. and every particle and utensil labelled to my will: as. How now! Even so quickly may one catch the plague? Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections With an invisible and subtle stealth To creep in at mine eyes. madam. In your denial I would find no sense. and much may be said of it. If I did love you in my master’s flame. Malvolio! OLIVIA I see you what you are. If you will lead these graces to the grave And leave the world no copy. you come to me again. And call upon my soul within the house. 12 Volume I Book XIV . two lips. let it be. though you were crown’d The nonpareil of beauty! VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA How does he love me? With adorations. indifferent red. learn’d and valiant. let me see your face. Have you no more Good madam. one neck. fertile tears. VIOLA Above my fortunes. item.Twelfth Night: ACT I A comfortable doctrine.

MALVOLIO following] Were not you even now with the Countess Olivia? MALVOLIO Alas the day! A lady. let me be your servant. She is drowned already. would we had so ended! but you. SEBASTIAN ANTONIO: Let me yet know of you whither you are bound. VIOLA She returns this ring to you. no. The county’s man: he left this ring behind him. She adds. therefore it charges me in manners the rather to express myself. that you should put your lord into a desperate assurance she will none of him: and one thing more. I am bound to the Count Orsino’s court: farewell. yet thus far I will boldly publish her. which I called Roderigo. Malvolio. sooth. on a moderate pace I have since arrived but hither. If you will not undo what you have done. and I am yet so near the manners of my mother. and be this so. If you will not murder me for my love. No. sir. forgive me your trouble. What is decreed must be. my name is Sebastian. SEBASTIAN ANTONIO SEBASTIAN [Exit] The gentleness of all the gods go with thee! I have many enemies in Orsino’s court. Nor hold him up with hopes. Fare ye well at once: my bosom is full of kindness. That danger shall seem sport. altered that. kill him whom you have recovered. though it was said she much resembled me. My father was that Sebastian of Messaline. that is. come what may. and fear to find Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind. SEBASTIAN By your patience. He left behind him myself and a sister. show thy force: ourselves we do not owe. to lay any of them on you. sir. Desire him not to flatter with his lord. sir.Twelfth Night: ACT II Run after that same peevish messenger. that upon the least occasion more mine eyes will tell tales of me. Even now. was yet of many accounted beautiful: but. [Enter VIOLA. to have taken it away yourself. I am not for him: If that the youth will come this way to-morrow. she bore a mind that envy could not but call fair. My stars shine darkly over me: the malignancy of my fate might perhaps distemper yours. therefore I shall crave of you your leave that I may bear my evils alone: it were a bad recompense for your love. OLIVIA MALVOLIO Madam. I will. I do adore thee so. sir: my determinate voyage is mere extravagancy. I’ll give him reasons for’t: hie thee. Else would I very shortly see thee there. But. for some hour before you took me from the breach of the sea was my sister drowned. though I seem to drown her remembrance again with more. OLIVIA [Exit] ACT II SCENE I The sea-coast. that you will not extort from me what I am willing to keep in. though I could not with such estimable wonder overfar believe that. whom I know you have heard of. that you be never so hardy to come again MALVOLIO Volume I Book XIV 13 . [Exit] I do I know not what. with salt water. [Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN] Will you stay no longer? nor will you not that I go with you? ANTONIO ANTONIO SEBASTIAN ANTONIO Pardon me. O good Antonio. moreover. Fate. sir: you might have saved me my pains. Would I or not: tell him I’ll none of it. ANTONIO [Exit] SCENE II A street. desire it not. sir. your bad entertainment. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch of modesty. sir. Antonio. and I will go. both born in an hour: if the heavens had been pleased. You must know of me then.

a love-song. but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking. None of my lord’s ring! why. She loves me. stay and hear. and the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses. MALVOLIO Come. seems to dote on me. That sure methought her eyes had lost her tongue. CLOWN Excellent! why. when all is done. What will become of this? As I am man. How now. i’ faith. if not. VIOLA to bed betimes. SIR TOBY BELCH 14 Volume I Book XIV . I am the man: if it be so. Ay. My state is desperate for my master’s love. Journeys end in lovers meeting. my troth. Good.Twelfth Night: ACT II in his affairs. How will this fadge? my master loves her dearly. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH Come on. and so sweet a breath to sing. our frailty is the cause. It is too hard a knot for me to untie! VIOLA Here comes the fool. sure. when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus. so they say. as ’tis. let us therefore eat and drink. Poor lady. Sir Andrew: not to be abed after midnight is to be up betimes. and “diluculo surgere. I know not: but I know. I see. There’s a testril of me too: if one knight give a— SIR ANDREW [Exit] SCENE III OLIVIA’s house. sir. for Malvolio’s nose is no whipstock: my lady has a white hand. i’ faith. be it his that finds it. not I. Every wise man’s son doth know. there it lies in your eye. he sent her none. unless it be to report your lord’s taking of this. such we be. it should be so returned: if it be worth stooping for. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman: hadst it? I did impeticos thy gratillity. ass. For she did speak in starts distractedly.— SIR TOBY BELCH Would you have a love-song. [Sings] O mistress mine. Marian. the fool has an excellent breast. is early: so that to go to bed after midnight is to go SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Excellent good. As I am woman. And she. as the fool has. not we! For such as we are made of. That can sing both high and low: Trip no further. mistaken. or a song of good life? CLOWN SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW CLOWN A love-song. How easy is it for the proper-false In women’s waxen hearts to set their forms! Alas.—now alas the day!— What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe! O time! thou must untangle this. there is sixpence for you: let’s have a song. Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.” thou know’st. you peevishly threw it to her. my hearts! did you never see the picture of “we three”? SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Welcome. indeed. pretty sweeting. Now let’s have a catch. your true love’s coming. By my troth. Does not our life consist of the four elements? Faith. fond as much on him. a song. the cunning of her passion Invites me in this churlish messenger. SIR ANDREW A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilled can. SIR ANDREW She took the ring of me: I’ll none of it. and her will is. Disguise. she were better love a dream. In sooth. Receive it so. thou wast in very gracious fooling last night. good. Now. And I. I say! A stoup of wine! SIR TOBY BELCH [Enter Clown] SIR ANDREW CLOWN [Exit] I left no ring with her: what means this lady? Fortune forbid my outside have not charm’d her! She made good view of me. Nay. to be up late is to be up late. Thou’rt a scholar. i’ faith. of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus: ’twas very good. thou art a wickedness. poor monster. where are you roaming? O. so much. ay: I care not for good life. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW] Approach. this is the best fooling. To be up after midnight and to go to bed then.

Ay. she is very willing to bid you farewell. knight. “Thou knave.” SIR ANDREW “Hold thy peace. and so do I too: he does it with a better grace. there you lie. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW [Enter MALVOLIO] My masters. I must be round with you. “His eyes do show his days are almost done. Out o’ tune. he does well enough if he be disposed. as I am true knight. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings] “O. you are welcome to the house.” Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tillyvally. peace! SIR ANDREW A mellifluous voice. thou knave. A contagious breath. Begin. nor honesty. no. Malvolio’s a Peg-a-Ramsey. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that? SIR ANDREW An you love me. no.” SIR ANDREW MALVOLIO [Catch sung] [Enter MARIA] What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid him turn you out of doors. Nay. that ye squeak out your coziers’ catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN Sir Toby. sir: ye lie. since I must needs be gone.” SIR ANDREW CLOWN “Farewell. manners. persons. CLOWN Volume I Book XIV 15 . This is much credit to you. let’s do’t: I am dog at a catch. if not. sweet and twenty. Sir Toby.” SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA CLOWN I shall never begin if I hold my peace. Sneck up! By’r lady. nor time in you? MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH Very sweet and contagious.” [Sings] “There dwelt a man in Babylon. but I do it more natural. good Sir Toby. because thou art virtuous. the twelfth day of December. Good.Twelfth Night: ACT II CLOWN [Sings] What is love? ’tis not hereafter.”— MARIA For the love o’ God. What’s to come is still unsure: In delay there lies no plenty. but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an alehouse of my lady’s house. My lady bade me tell you. sir. by Saint Anne. lady!” CLOWN Beshrew me. Come. and “Three merry men be we. i’ faith. Present mirth hath present laughter. that. MALVOLIO Most certain. you dare not. Let our catch be. an it would please you to take leave of her. Youth’s a stuff will not endure. never trust me. fool: it begins “Hold thy peace. there shall be no more cakes and ale? SIR TOBY BELCH Yes. and spare not?” SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN “O no. are you mad? or what are you? Have ye no wit. the knight’s in admirable fooling. begin. in our catches. Then come kiss me. she’s nothing allied to your disorders. i’ faith. and ginger shall be hot i’ the mouth too. If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors. CLOWN We did keep time. no. CLOWN ’Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave. Lady! “What an if you do?” “Shall I bid him go.” knight? I shall be constrained in’t to call thee knave. sir. we are politicians. and some dogs will catch well. though she harbours you as her kinsman. SIR TOBY BELCH To hear by the nose.” Is’t even so? “But I will never die. “Shall I bid him go?” MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN My lady’s a Cataian. Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think. lady. it is dulcet in contagion. dear heart.

’twill be admirable! SIR ANDREW MARIA Do’t. do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed: I know I can do it. I can write very like my lady your niece: on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands. if you prized my lady’s favour at any thing more than contempt. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA If I do not. but I have reason good enough. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW The devil a puritan that he is. come.Twelfth Night: ACT II SIR TOBY BELCH Thou’rt i’ the right. Before me. ’tis too late to go to bed now: come. by the letters that thou wilt drop. that it is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him. you would not give means for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it. and others] Give me some music. 16 Volume I Book XIV . she is much out of quiet. be patient for tonight: since the youth of the count’s was today with thy lady. I warrant you: I know my physic will work with him. SIR TOBY BELCH Ass. and let the fool make a third. that cons state without book and utters it by great swarths: the best persuaded of himself. knight. an affectioned ass. true-bred. knight. to challenge him the field. with excellencies. Thou hadst need send for more money. sir. [Enter DUKE ORSINO. MARIA She’s a beagle. I’ll go burn some sack. the shape of his leg. Farewell. sir. that they come from my niece. by this hand. she’s a good wench. and that she’s in love with him. knight. I will plant you two. O. A stoup of wine. and then to break promise with him and make a fool of him. I have’t in my nose too. Sweet Sir Toby. the manner of his gait. Maria! Mistress Mary. take it how you will. friends. to bed. or any thing constantly. good morrow. let me alone with him: if I do not gull him into a nayword. and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work. SIR TOBY BELCH [Exeunt] SCENE IV DUKE ORSINO’s palace. Come. knight: if thou hast her not i’ the end. And your horse now would make him Go shake your ears. SIR ANDREW way out. MARIA SIR ANDREW ’Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man’s a-hungry. as he thinks. possess us. for being a puritan? thy exquisite reason. a horse of that colour. where he shall find the letter: observe his construction of it. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW If I cannot recover your niece. but a time-pleaser. come. Go. knight: I’ll write thee a challenge: or I’ll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth. Possess us. call me cut. never trust me. wherein. and make him a common recreation. indeed. SIR ANDREW What. For this night. For Monsieur Malvolio. I doubt not. and complexion. I am a foul I have no exquisite reason for’t. if I thought that I’ld beat him like a dog! I was adored once too. O. He shall think. the expressure of his eye. VIOLA. CURIO. DUKE ORSINO What wilt thou do? I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love. and dream on the event. and one that adores me: what o’ that? SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Marry. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH Sport royal. Penthesilea. so crammed. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Good night. Send for money. Now. rub your chain with crumbs. SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA [Exit] MARIA My purpose is. sometimes he is a kind of puritan. MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Excellent! I smell a device. forehead. dear knight? SIR TOBY BELCH Let’s to bed. tell us something of him. SIR ANDREW an ass. by the colour of his beard. he shall find himself most feelingly personated.

my lord. no one so true Did share it. come away. that their business might be 17 Volume I Book XIV . To die. by your favour. O. For such as I am all true lovers are. sir. doth fall that very hour. Save in the constant image of the creature That is beloved. stuck all with yew. DUKE ORSINO And so they are: alas. I’ll pay thy pleasure then. Fly away. He is not here. For women are as roses. my lord. that they are so. a fool that the lady Olivia’s father took much delight in. Cesario. Mark it. DUKE ORSINO woman take An elder than herself: so wears she to him. DUKE ORSINO Come away. Lay me. sir. CURIO DUKE ORSINO Then let thy love be younger than thyself. The spinsters and the knitters in the sun And the free maids that weave their thread with bones Do use to chant it: it is silly sooth. young though thou art. VIOLA DUKE ORSINO Are you ready. To weep there! i’ faith? VIOLA DUKE ORSINO CLOWN There’s for thy pains. Not a friend. My shroud of white. the melancholy god protect thee. one time or another. sir? Ay. it is old and plain. my lord. O. come. where Sad true lover never find my grave. In the sweet pangs of it remember me. boy? VIOLA A little. Than women’s are.Twelfth Night: ACT II Now. She is not worth thee. Not a flower. boy: if ever thou shalt love. So sways she level in her husband’s heart: For. DUKE ORSINO [Music] SONG. thine eye Hath stay’d upon some favour that it loves: Hath it not. where my bones shall be thrown: A thousand thousand sighs to save. Unstaid and skittish in all motions else. [Exit CURIO. And dallies with the innocence of love. sir: I take pleasure in singing. good Cesario. CLOWN Thou dost speak masterly: My life upon’t. I am slain by a fair cruel maid. sooner lost and worn. so please your lordship that should sing it. not a friend greet My poor corpse. the jester. wavering. however we do praise ourselves. but one verse. fly away breath. He is about the house. More than light airs and recollected terms Of these most brisk and giddy-paced times: Come. I think it well. prithee. but that piece of song. Now. then. About your years. Music plays] Come hither. What kind of woman is’t? DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Of your complexion. Like the old age. And in sad cypress let me be laid. VIOLA DUKE ORSINO CLOWN Truly. the song we had last night. boy. for thy mind is a very opal. even when they to perfection grow! VIOLA [Re-enter CURIO and Clown] O. prepare it! My part of death. not a flower sweet On my black coffin let there be strown. DUKE ORSINO Seek him out. and play the tune the while. DUKE ORSINO CLOWN Who was it? CURIO Feste. and pleasure will be paid. That old and antique song we heard last night: Methought it did relieve my passion much. and the tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta. How dost thou like this tune? It gives a very echo to the seat Where Love is throned. What years. I would have men of such constancy put to sea. DUKE ORSINO CLOWN Give me now leave to leave thee. Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm. whose fair flower Being once display’d. Or thy affection cannot hold the bent. fellow. More longing. death. sing. Too old by heaven: let still the No pains.

Here comes the little villain. Say that some lady. Farewell. to hold so much. Cesario. it is pity of our lives. DUKE ORSINO DUKE ORSINO [Exit] Let all the rest give place. but little in our love. he brought me out o’ favour with my lady about a bear-baiting here. SIR ANDREW. must she not then be answer’d? There is no woman’s sides Can bide the beating of so strong a passion As love doth give my heart. FABIAN To anger him we’ll have the bear again. But let concealment. for I know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. The parts that fortune hath bestow’d upon her. but the palate. I should your lordship. And with a green and yellow melancholy She sat like patience on a monument. as perhaps there is. give her this jewel. No motion of the liver. You tell her so. And can digest as much: make no compare Between that love a woman can bear me And that I owe Olivia. And all the brothers too: and yet I know not. We men may say more. Signior Fabian. Ay. they lack retention Alas. Smiling at grief. swear more: but indeed Our shows are more than will. no woman’s heart So big. Feed on her damask cheek: she pined in thought. Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame? SIR TOBY BELCH I would exult. they are as true of heart as we. like a worm i’ the bud. but I know— What dost thou know? SIR TOBY BELCH DUKE ORSINO VIOLA [Enter MARIA] How now. for that’s it that always makes a good voyage of nothing. and we will fool him black and blue: shall we not. my boy? [CURIO and Attendants retire] Once more. Sir Andrew? SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW An we do not.Twelfth Night: ACT II every thing and their intent every where. Tell her. But mine is all as hungry as the sea. perhaps. for still we prove Much in our vows. say. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Sooth. more noble than the world. bide no denay. Prizes not quantity of dirty lands. To her in haste. that’s the theme. But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems That nature pranks her in attracts my soul. As it might be. and FABIAN] SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN But if she cannot love you. Sir. VIOLA I am all the daughters of my father’s house. Was not this love indeed? 18 [Throws down a letter] for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling. Hath for your love a great a pang of heart As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her. man: you know. She never told her love. MARIA Too well what love women to men may owe: In faith. for the love of mockery. but you must. in the name of jesting! Lie thou there. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA And what’s her history? A blank. My love can give no place. But died thy sister of her love. my lord. My father had a daughter loved a man. let me be boiled to death with melancholy. shall I to this lady? VIOLA Ay. I hold as giddily as fortune. [Exit] Volume I Book XIV . my metal of India! Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio’s coming down this walk: he has been yonder i’ the sun practising behavior to his own shadow this half hour: observe him. sir? I cannot be so answer’d. I’ll come: if I lose a scruple of this sport. their love may be call’d appetite. cloyment and revolt. Close. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH. my love. Nay. Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty: Tell her. DUKE ORSINO [Exeunt] SCENE V OLIVIA’s garden. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Come thy ways. That suffer surfeit. were I a woman.

should she fancy. and perchance MALVOLIO Volume I Book XIV 19 . make out for him: I frown the while.”— I knew ’twas I. it should be one of my complexion. for many do call me fool. It is. SIR ANDREW Fie on him. wax. to hit him in [Taking up the letter] FABIAN the eye! Calling my officers about me. peace! By my life. Toby approaches. Peace. and after a demure travel of regard. peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock of him: how he jets under his advanced plumes! SIR ANDREW And does not Toby take you a blow o’ the lips then? Saying. to for my kinsman Toby. Jezebel! That’s me. FABIAN O. you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight. now. her U’s and her T’s and thus makes she her great P’s. my fortunes having cast me on your niece give me this prerogative of speech. all is fortune. peace. telling them I know my place as I would they should do theirs. in contempt of question.” Out. peace! and the spirit of humour intimate reading aloud to him! SIR TOBY BELCH Fire and brimstone! O. peace! SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO Nay.”— MALVOLIO SIR ANDREW MALVOLIO There is example for’t. sitting in my state. rogue! “You must amend your drunkenness. liver and all. that. Maria once told me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come thus near. with which she uses to seal: ’tis my lady.Twelfth Night: ACT II [Enter MALVOLIO] ’Tis but fortune.”— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO ’Slight. Seven of my people. SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO What. this. for a stone-bow. “Besides. This wins him.— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN Now is the woodcock near the gin. quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control. her U’s and her T’s: why that? Bolts and shackles! [Reads] “To the unknown beloved.— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH Here’s an overweening rogue! O.— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN Her C’s. her hand. peace! now he’s deeply in: look how imagination blows him. I extend my hand to him thus. or we break the sinews of our plot. “One Sir Andrew. pistol him. courtesies there to me. the lady of the Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe. I say. with an obedient start. having come from a day-bed. peace! now. where I have left Olivia sleeping. I warrant you. what? To be Count Malvolio! Ah. SIR ANDREW MALVOLIO Having been three months married to her. What should I think on’t? MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN wind up watch. in my branched velvet gown. Besides.— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH What employment have we here? O. this is my lady’s hand these be her very C’s. or play with my—some rich jewel.— SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN Shall this fellow live? Though our silence be drawn from us with cars. “Cousin Toby. MALVOLIO SIR ANDREW MALVOLIO And then to have the humour of state. Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece. and my good wishes:”—her very phrases! By your leave. O. yet peace. scab! SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN Pistol him. patience. peace. I could so beat the rogue! Peace. To whom should this be? FABIAN O peace. she uses me with a more exalted respect than any one else that follows her.

I will do everything that thou wilt have me. thy smiles become thee well. FABIAN A fustian riddle! Excellent wench. that my lady loves me. and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered: I say. I will be proud. stout. if thou desirest to be so. though it be as rank as a fox. she is my lady. let me see. She did commend my yellow stockings of late. I thank my stars I am happy. O.Twelfth Night: ACT II MALVOLIO [Reads] Jove knows I love: But who? Lips. [Exit] 20 Volume I Book XIV . In my stars I am above thee. I. O. SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO “M. MALVOLIO FABIAN [Reads] “Thou canst not choose but know who I am. put thyself into the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee that sighs for thee. an you had any eye behind you.—but then there is no consonancy in the sequel. this is evident to any formal capacity. FABIAN MALVOLIO M. Ay. Malvolio? SIR TOBY BELCH Ay. Be opposite with a kinsman. and in this she manifests herself to my love. let thy tongue tang arguments of state. She that would alter services with thee. make up that: he is now at a cold scent. revolve. A. and make him SIR TOBY BELCH cry O! MALVOLIO And then I comes behind. No man must know. and cross-gartered. thou art made. I will baffle Sir Toby. I will be strange. Why. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings. O. to crush this a little. remember. let me see. I. I do not now fool myself. say I. A. surly with servants.” Jove. some achieve greatness. let me see. but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great. let it appear in thy smiling. and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking. Farewell. therefore in my presence still smile. FABIAN What dish o’ poison has she dressed him! And with what wing the staniel SIR TOBY BELCH cheques at it! “I may command where I adore. let thy blood and spirit embrace them. FABIAN M. there is no obstruction in this: and the end. but first. the fellow of servants. and. Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent at faults.—Malvolio. With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore: M. “No man must know. cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. M. A. I will wash off gross acquaintance. and not worthy to touch Fortune’s fingers. for every one of these letters are in my name. I prithee. she may command me: I serve her.—what should that alphabetical position portend? If I could make that resemble something in me. If thou entertainest my love. A. dear my sweet. you might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes before you. Sowter will cry upon’t for all this. it would bow to me. this simulation is not as the former: and yet. MALVOLIO Marry.” Nay. I. hang thee. if not. or I’ll cudgel him. MALVOLIO [Reads] I may command where I adore. let me see thee a steward still. in yellow stockings. even with the swiftness of putting on. she did praise my leg being cross-gartered. for every reason excites to this. I will read politic authors. I hope. Go to. Soft! here follows prose.—why. that begins my name. I thank thee: I will smile.—Softly! M. O. THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY. doth sway my life.” Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is open. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a postscript.— MALVOLIO SIR TOBY BELCH O. do not move. doth sway my life. and some have greatness thrust upon ’em. to inure thyself to what thou art like to be. But silence.” Why. I. FABIAN M. And O shall end. ay. I will be point-devise the very man. brock! [Reads] “If this fall into thy hand. Thy Fates open their hands. like a Lucrece knife. to let imagination jade me.” What follows? The numbers altered! “No man must know:” if this should be thee. that suffers under probation A should follow but O does.

and become thy bond-slave? SIR ANDREW I’ll make one too. CLOWN VIOLA No. or. Here comes my noble gull-catcher. I can yield you none without words. SIR ANDREW Nay. and ’tis a colour she abhors. To the gates of Tartar. therefore. CLOWN So thou mayst say. man? Why. which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition. But indeed words are very rascals since bonds disgraced them. and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to CLOWN Volume I Book XIV 21 . SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA this device. indeed. I would it would make you invisible. sir. sir. and to dally with that word might make my sister wanton. man? Art thou a churchman? No such matter. sir. but in my conscience. that’s certain. thou hast put him in such a dream. FABIAN SIR TOBY BELCH I could marry this wench for Why. sir. sir.Twelfth Night: ACT III I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy. sir. I do care for something. To see this age! A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the wrong side may be turned outward! CLOWN Not so. my sister had had no name. So could I too. and he will smile upon her. for I do live at my house. sir. sir: I do live by the church. they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton. CLOWN VIOLA Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool? Nay. VIOLA You have said. I live by the church. and Clown with a tabour] Save thee. If you will see it. VIOLA No. [Enter VIOLA. but say true. sir. and words are grown so false. if a beggar dwell near him. or I either? [Exeunt] ACT III SCENE I OLIVIA’s garden. friend. and cross-gartered. being addicted to a melancholy as she is. sir. mark his first approach before my lady: he will come to her in yellow stockings. SIR ANDREW FABIAN Nor I neither. till she be married. follow me. the Lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep no fool. and my house doth stand by the church. CLOWN VIOLA Why. I do not care for you: if that be to care for nothing. that when the image of it leaves him he must run mad. I am loath to prove reason with them. that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt. the church stands by thy tabour. her name’s a word. sir. CLOWN Troth. does it work upon him? Like aqua-vitae with a midwife. I’ faith. if thy tabour stand by the church. SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest. the king lies by a beggar. thou most excellent devil of wit! SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Wilt thou set thy foot o’ my neck? Or o’ mine either? SIR TOBY BELCH Shall I play my freedom at traytrip. a fashion she detests. Thy reason. and thy music: dost thou live by thy tabour? VIOLA CLOWN VIOLA I would. [Re-enter MARIA] SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW If you will then see the fruits of the sport. VIOLA I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.

fair princess. SIR ANDREW Would not a pair of these have bred. CLOWN VIOLA I understand you.” “pregnant” and “vouchsafed”: I’ll get ’em all three all ready. but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there. sir. VIOLA Taste your legs. VIOLA SIR TOBY BELCH VIOLA Now Jove. But we are prevented. sir. but her corrupter of words. and most humble service. and I am yours. Hold. like the haggard. CLOWN “Odours. sir? Yes. sir. rather than fill’d with me! OLIVIA 22 Volume I Book XIV . sir. The quality of persons. send thee a beard! CLOWN By my troth. there’s expenses for thee. VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA My duty. I hope. SIR ANDREW Let the garden door be shut. SIR ANDREW I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s. Dieu vous garde. an thou pass upon me. monsieur. madam. I would be sorry. sir. madam. you are. [Aside] though I would not have it grow on my chin. I am almost sick for one. SIR ANDREW. if your trade be to her. Is thy lady within? CLOWN VIOLA I will answer you with gait and entrance. And to do that well craves a kind of wit: He must observe their mood on whom he jests. begging but a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. sir. I hope. And. sir. being kept together and put to use. sir! ’Twas never merry world Since lowly feigning was call’d compliment: You’re servant to the Count Orsino. does walk about the orb like the sun. sir. I mean. sir. I might say “element. VIOLA I mean. SIR ANDREW For him. OLIVIA [Exit] This fellow is wise enough to play the fool. VIOLA [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH. VIOLA The matter. And he is yours. This is a practise As full of labour as a wise man’s art For folly that he wisely shows is fit. quite taint their wit. SIR TOBY BELCH I am bound to your niece. My matter hath no voice. to enter. My legs do better understand me.Twelfth Night: ACT III herrings. is not great. Foolery. But wise men. the heavens rain odours on you! That youth’s a rare courtier: “Rain odours”. sir.” but the word is over-worn. I’ll no more with thee. sir. and MARIA] Give me your hand. ’tis well begged. and leave me to my hearing. to go. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH. and SIR ANDREW] SIR TOBY BELCH VIOLA My servant. youth. votre serviteur. VIOLA Save you. well. the husband’s the bigger: I am indeed not her fool. CLOWN Will you encounter the house? My niece is desirous you should enter. and his must needs be yours: Your servant’s servant is your servant. VIOLA VIOLA Et vous aussi. [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA] Most excellent accomplished lady. in his next commodity of hair. to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear. Would they were blanks. My lady is within. to bring a Cressida to this Troilus. put them to motion. I’ll tell thee. folly-fall’n. who you are and what you would are out of my welkin. sir. it shines every where. sir. than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs. VIOLA SIR TOBY BELCH Nay. And you. cheque at every feather That comes before his eye. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia. gentleman. and the time. What is your name? Cesario is your servant’s name. I think not on him: for his thoughts. she is the list of my voyage. I will construe to them whence you come.

what a deal of scorn looks beautiful In the contempt and anger of his lip! A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon Than love that would seem hid: love’s night is noon. OLIVIA Dear lady. Marry. SIR ANDREW FABIAN As plain as I see you now. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH Did she see thee the while. I had rather hear you to solicit that Than music from the spheres. truth and every thing. and by my youth I have one heart. Sir Andrew. I saw your niece do more favours to the count’s serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me. VIOLA I pity you. you: Under your hard construction must I sit. Which you knew none of yours: what might you think? Have you not set mine honour at the stake And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving Enough is shown: a cypress. but given unsought better. OLIVIA No. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH. good madam: never more Will I my master’s tears to you deplore. and FABIAN] SIR ANDREW [Clock strikes] The clock upbraids me with the waste of time. for now I am your fool. Cesario. Thy reason. So. Love sought is good. due west. For that I woo. Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.Twelfth Night: ACT III Madam. This was a great argument of love in her toward you. madam. honour. world. methinks ’tis time to smile again. give SIR TOBY BELCH thy reason. Be not afraid. how apt the poor are to be proud! If one should be a prey. Your were is alike to reap a proper man: There lies your way. when wit and youth is come to harvest. A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse Myself. old boy? Tell Stay: I prithee. But rather reason thus with reason fetter. OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA me that. I bade you never speak again of him: But. O. Then think you right: I am not what I am. SIR ANDREW “Slight. by your leave. VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA By innocence I swear. And that no woman has. After the last enchantment you did here. FABIAN You must needs yield your reason. then. dear venom. thou therefore hast no cause. maugre all thy pride. Then westward-ho! Grace and good disposition Attend your ladyship! You’ll nothing. in a shameful cunning. my servant and. That very oft we pity enemies. Hideth my heart. that. SIR ANDREW. Yet come again. by the roses of the spring. Why. By maidhood. VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA I would you were as I would have you be! O. That you do think you are not what you are. to like his love. I think the same of you. If I think so. I did send. for ’tis a vulgar proof. O. let me hear you speak. not a grize. I will not have you: And yet. I saw’t i’ the orchard. beseech you. good youth. save I alone. nor never none Shall mistress be of it. I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf. one bosom and one truth. I fear me. faith. would you undertake another suit. which now abhors. madam. not a bosom. tell me what thou thinkest of me. I love thee so. than I am? I wish it might. That’s a degree to love. I pray you. OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA Would it be better. And so adieu. to my lord by me? VIOLA No. Do not extort thy reasons from this clause. I’ll not stay a jot longer. To force that on you. how much the better To fall before the lion than the wolf! OLIVIA [Exeunt] SCENE II OLIVIA’s house. for thou perhaps mayst move That heart.— Give me leave. will you make an ass o’ me? Volume I Book XIV 23 .

and will laugh yourself into stitches. SIR ANDREW Come. it must be with valour. set ’em down: go. Will either of you bear me a challenge SIR ANDREW to him? SIR TOBY BELCH Most villanously. But jealousy what might befall your travel. no matter: about it. SIR TOBY BELCH I could not stay behind you: my desire. about it. unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valour or policy. so it be eloquent and fun of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink: if thou thou’st him some thrice. bring us where he is. I have dogged him. write it in a martial hand. and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper. it is no matter how witty. there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s commendation with woman than report of valour. where the youngest wren of nine comes. some two thousand strong. though thou write with a goose-pen. bring us. Being skilless in these parts. I have been dear to him. More sharp than filed steel. And they have been grand-jury-men since before Noah was a sailor. Sir Andrew. which to a stranger. He’s in yellow stockings. to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. SIR TOBY BELCH And his opposite. upon the oaths of judgment and reason. FABIAN [Enter MARIA] SIR TOBY BELCH Look. where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s beard. You should then have accosted her. hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take note of it. if he were opened. though so much As might have drawn one to a longer voyage. Challenge me the count’s youth to fight with him. did spur me forth. bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together.Twelfth Night: ACT III FABIAN I will prove it legitimate. be curst and brief. although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England. FABIAN SIR ANDREW An’t be any way. And not all love to see you. SIR TOBY BELCH Never trust me. since you make your pleasure of your pains. lad. But. Unguided and unfriended. I know my lady will strike him: if she do. it shall not be amiss. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. for there is no Christian. and with some excellent jests. FABIAN There is no way but this. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as ’tis. then. and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. SIR TOBY BELCH Go. Sir Toby. and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off. SIR TOBY BELCH She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you. sir. Let there be gall enough in thy ink. [Enter SEBASTIAN and ANTONIO] I would not by my will have troubled you. can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. fire-new from the mint. This was looked for at your hand. for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician. [Exeunt] SCENE III A street. and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea. the youth. and you are now sailed into the north of my lady’s opinion. and assure thyself. often prove Rough and unhospitable: my willing love. like his murderer. follow me. to awake your dormouse valour. I’ll eat the rest of the anatomy. For Andrew. ANTONIO We shall have a rare letter from him: but you’ll not deliver’t? FABIAN 24 Volume I Book XIV . SEBASTIAN Where shall I find you? We’ll call thee at the cubiculo: go. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen. SIR TOBY BELCH [Exit SIR ANDREW] FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you. a very renegado. build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. If you desire the spleen. MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA And cross-gartered? Why. that means to be saved by believing rightly. you should have banged the youth into dumbness. I will no further chide you. or so. he’ll smile and take’t for a great favour. then. like a pedant that keeps a school i’ the church.

sure. I speak too loud. ANTONIO I am not weary. ho. OLIVIA Go call him hither. let us satisfy our eyes With the memorials and the things of fame That do renown this city. here’s my purse. but in very strange manner. He is. possessed. Most of our city did: only myself stood out. of such note indeed.. Belike you slew great number of his people. And suits well for a servant with my fortunes: Where is Malvolio? OLIVIA To-morrow. man? what is the matter with thee? OLIVIA Haply your eye shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase. ’gainst the count his galleys I did some service. if I be lapsed in this place. Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel Might well have given us bloody argument. and ever. MARIA OLIVIA MARIA Why. and commands shall be executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand. Set forth in your pursuit. is not for idle markets. sir: best first go see your lodging. Sad. sweet-heart. SEBASTIAN ANTONIO Why I your purse? Why. In the south suburbs. ho. if he come.” MALVOLIO It doth not fit me. what’s the matter? Does he rave? Would you’ld pardon me. And thanks. sir. Malvolio? To bed! ay. it is with me as the very true sonnet is. Malvolio! MALVOLIO OLIVIA Sweet lady. You should find better dealing. How shall I feast him? what bestow of him? For youth is bought more oft than begg’d or borrow’d. If sad and merry madness equal be. I’ll be your purse-bearer and leave you For an hour. What’s to do? Shall we go see the reliques of this town? SCENE IV OLIVIA’s garden. Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge With viewing of the town: there shall you have me. I shall pay dear. lady! I could be sad: this does make some obstruction in the blood.Twelfth Night: ACT III The rather by these arguments of fear.oft good turns Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay: But. which. to thee. SEBASTIAN He’s coming. SEBASTIAN My kind Antonio. were my worth as is my conscience firm. Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet. he does nothing but smile: your ladyship were best to have some guard about you. It might have since been answer’d in repaying What we took from them. I do not without danger walk these streets: Once. Hold.. madam. in a sea-fight. though yellow in my legs. this cross-gartering. For which. sir. The offence is not of such a bloody nature. and ’tis long to night: I pray you. ANTONIO SEBASTIAN ANTONIO No. Smilest thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand so oft? OLIVIA [Exeunt] Volume I Book XIV 25 . [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA] I have sent after him: he says he’ll come. but what of that? if it please the eye of one. for. I think. madam. That were I ta’en here it would scarce be answer’d. It did come to his hands. SEBASTIAN ANTONIO SEBASTIAN Not black in my mind. how dost thou. and please all. “Please one. and I’ll come MALVOLIO To the Elephant. [Exit MARIA] I am as mad as he. I do remember. Do not then walk too open. and your store. SEBASTIAN ANTONIO [Re-enter MARIA. MALVOLIO OLIVIA Wilt thou go to bed. I can no other answer make but thanks. madam. for traffic’s sake. at the Elephant. with MALVOLIO] How now. sure. the man is tainted in’s wits. Where is Malvolio? He is sad and civil.

if thou desirest to be so. and so forth. how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you? Sir Toby. is the doer of this. “Let this fellow be looked to:” fellow! not Malvolio. I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go off. Malvolio? “Some are born great. man! defy the devil: consider.”— MALVOLIO OLIVIA Go off. “be opposite with a kinsman. no incredulous or unsafe circumstance—What can be said? Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Lo. peace. and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away now. put thyself into the trick of singularity. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? MARIA MALVOLIO OLIVIA “Be not afraid of greatness:” ’twas well writ. [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA] Marry. an you speak ill of the devil. MALVOLIO Heaven restore thee! “Remember who commended thy yellow stockings. go to. My lady would not lose him for more than I’ll say. man? FABIAN “Go to thou art made. if I live. my lady prays you to have a care of him. in the name of sanctity? If all the devils of hell be drawn in little. How is’t with you. how he takes it at heart! Pray God. a reverend carriage. nor after my degree. this is very midsummer madness. let me see thee a servant still. peace. he’s an enemy to mankind. ha! does she so? [Enter Servant] Madam. “Cast thy humble slough. ho! Do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose. Do you know what you say? [Exit Servant] Good Maria. Where’s my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. SERVANT OLIVIA Go to. with SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN] Which way is he.” and consequently sets down the manner how. Jove. How do you. nightingales answer daws. I have limed her. as. Malvolio? MALVOLIO At your request! yes. a sad face. Malvolio? how is’t with you? What. not I. a slow tongue.”— MALVOLIO OLIVIA [Re-enter MARIA. that no dram of a scruple.Twelfth Night: ACT III MARIA How do you. MALVOLIO Am I made? “If not. for she incites me to that in the letter. sir? how is’t with you. but it is Jove’s doing. here he is. let this fellow be looked to. that I may appear stubborn to him. let thy tongue tang with arguments of state.” says she. and Legion himself possessed him. and it shall be done to-morrow morning.” MALVOLIO OLIVIA O.”— MALVOLIO OLIVIA What sayest thou? “And some have greatness thrust upon them. SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO I’ll come to him.” MALVOLIO OLIVIA Cross-gartered! Here he is. SIR TOBY BELCH Thy yellow stockings! “And wished to see thee cross-gartered. La you. we must deal gently with him: let me alone. MARIA MALVOLIO Ah. What meanest thou by that. 26 Volume I Book XIV . Why.” MALVOLIO OLIVIA Why. he be not bewitched! MARIA FABIAN MARIA Carry his water to the wise woman. no obstacle. and he is to be thanked. no scruple of a scruple. in the habit of some sir of note. the young gentleman of the Count Orsino’s is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: he attends your ladyship’s pleasure. yet I’ll speak to him. but fellow. every thing adheres together. surly with servants. Well.”— MALVOLIO OLIVIA Ha! “Some achieve greatness.

ANDREW AGUECHEEK. and will not be roughly used. MARIA FABIAN MARIA Why. foul collier! SIR TOBY BELCH Get him to say his prayers. man! ’tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang in thy mind. and. my bawcock! How dost thou.” him. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device.” FABIAN Why. man. MARIA [Enter SIR ANDREW] FABIAN More matter for a May morning. and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat. Give me. for our pleasure and his penance. with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off. What. and so look to thyself. Come. and to exceeding good sense—less. but see. and will by and by depart. mistress! O Lord! Here’s the challenge. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] “Wonder not. for I will show thee no reason for’t.”— FABIAN Is’t possible? Good. lest the device take air and taint. where if it be thy chance to kill me.” FABIAN Very brief. for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath. minx! No. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH No way but gentleness. MARIA MALVOLIO MARIA FABIAN A good note. pursue him now. Thy friend. get him to pray. till our very pastime. how now. but my hope is better. SIR TOBY BELCH [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN [Reads] “I will waylay thee going home. hold thy peace. whatsoever thou art. is’t. thou art but a scurvy fellow. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR TOBY BELCH and a villain. gently: the fiend is rough. I warrant him: do but read. I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. that keeps you from the blow of the law. Biddy. Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest him. why I do call thee so. SIR TOBY BELCH Is’t so saucy? Ay. that is not the matter I challenge thee for. and valiant. MALVOLIO [Reads] “Thou comest to the lady Olivia. My niece is already in the belief that he’s mad: we may carry it thus. FABIAN [Reads] “Youth. his legs cannot: I’ll give’t him. SIR TOBY BELCH You may have very fit occasion for’t: he is now in some commerce with my lady. as thou drawest swear horrible. prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen.Twelfth Night: ACT III MALVOLIO MARIA How now. FABIAN Nay. SIR TOBY BELCH My prayers. nor admire not Ay. [Reads] “Thou killest me like a rogue If this were played upon a stage now. But see. Go. we’ll have him in a dark room and bound. and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine. I warrant you. come with me. The house will be the quieter. he will not hear of godliness. this is not the way: do you not see you move him? let me alone with him. gently. hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element: you shall know more hereafter. chuck? SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO Sir! Good. read it: warrant there’s vinegar and pepper in’t. gives SIR TOBY BELCH Volume I Book XIV 27 . If this letter move him not. and thy sworn enemy.” Still you keep o’ the windy side of the law: good. SIR ANDREW FABIAN Prithee. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] ’Fare thee well. we shall make him mad indeed. good Sir Toby. draw. tired out of breath. as thou usest him. Go.

Nay. for your opposite hath in him what youth. That honour saved may upon asking give? OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA Sir. How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you? VIOLA OLIVIA This is as uncivil as strange. but thy intercepter. come again to-morrow: fare thee well: A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others. like cockatrices. or strip your sword stark naked. it hath no tongue to vex you. nob. SIR TOBY BELCH Nothing but this. VIOLA I will acquit you. Refuse it not. I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter. SIR TOBY BELCH I will return again into the house and desire some conduct of the lady. This will so fright them both that they will kill one another by the look. And I beseech you come again to-morrow. SIR TOBY BELCH That defence thou hast. and MARIA] I have said too much unto a heart of stone And laid mine honour too unchary out: There’s something in me that reproves my fault. FABIAN You’ll find it otherwise. do me this courteous office. set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour. or forswear to wear iron about you. be yare in thy preparation. if you hold your life at any price. with VIOLA] Here he comes with your niece: give them way till he take leave. betake you to your guard. Back you shall not to the house. but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three. God save thee. Hob. That it but mocks reproof. What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny. unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore. skill. VIOLA [Re-enter OLIVIA.Twelfth Night: ACT III manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. that’s certain. sir. I know not. and his incensement at this moment is so implacable. is his word. full of despite. sir. stay you by this gentleman till my return. I am no fighter. and drive the gentleman. VIOLA And you. skill and wrath can furnish man withal. sir. Signior Fabian. SIR TOBY BELCH [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH. dubbed with unhatched rapier and on carpet consideration. as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence. for meddle you must. FABIAN. sir. that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. bloody as the hunter. But such a headstrong potent fault it is. do you know of this matter? Volume I Book XIV . your true love for my master. into a most hideous opinion of his rage. I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth. Well. Away! SIR ANDREW [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN] SIR TOBY BELCH Gentleman. give’t or take’t. nothing of my purpose. skilful and deadly. get you on and give him his desire. being so excellently ignorant. for thy assailant is quick. ’tis my picture. no. what is he? I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury: therefore. I beseech you. on. SIR TOBY BELCH [Exit] VIOLA [Exit] 28 Pray you. OLIVIA He is knight. strength. sir. SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake. betake thee to’t: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him. SIR TOBY BELCH VIOLA I pray you. [Exit] Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding. I assure you: therefore. VIOLA Here. wear this jewel for me. I will do so. attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck. let me alone for swearing. will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a clodpole. to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk. VIOLA With the same ’havior that your passion bears Goes on my master’s grief. and presently after him. as I know his youth will aptly receive it. fury and impetuosity. But.

SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW VIOLA Pray God. sir. [They draw] [Enter Officers] FABIAN I’ll make the motion: stand here. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW Come. O good Sir Toby. I for him defy you. ANTONIO SIR TOBY BELCH ANTONIO Pox on’t. I’ld have seen him damned ere I’ld have challenged him. if you be an undertaker. I shall be much bound to you for’t: I am one that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. for his honour’s sake. he hath better bethought him of his quarrel. to’t. grey Capilet. [They draw] [Enter ANTONIO] Put up your sword. VIOLA FABIAN Give ground. as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. to read him by his form. do thy office. SIR ANDREW FIRST OFFICER This is the man. but nothing of the circumstance more. sir! why. I take the fault on me: If you offend him. FABIAN VIOLA FABIAN I beseech you. he’s a very devil. if you see him furious. the gentleman will. sir. he protests he will not hurt you. indeed. SIR TOBY BELCH [Aside] Marry. I’ll be with you anon. If this young gentleman Have done offence. I arrest thee at the suit of SECOND OFFICER Count Orsino. SIR TOBY BELCH [Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. Come on. [Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA] [To FABIAN] I have his horse to take up the quarrel: I have persuaded him the youth’s a devil. ’tis against my will. bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. sir. he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. make a good show on’t: this shall end without the perdition of souls. I’ll not meddle with him. SIR TOBY BELCH Plague on’t. even to a mortal arbitrement. and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion. will I. I had a pass with him. sir. Volume I Book XIV 29 . and pants and looks pale. VIOLA [To VIOLA] There’s no remedy. I’ll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily and reins well. Antonio. what are you? Ay. an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence. that it is inevitable. for the supportance of his vow. and I’ll give him my horse. the most skilful. He is as horribly conceited of him. what manner of man is he? Nothing of that wonderful promise. for that I promised you. sir.Twelfth Night: ACT III I know the knight is incensed against you. if you please. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can. rapier. hold! here come the officers. he will fight with you for’s oath sake: marry. as if a bear were at his heels. put your sword up. man. scabbard and all. have one bout with you. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy. SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW One. but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. He is. and on the answer. SIR TOBY BELCH Nay. I am for you. and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw. I’ll ride your horse as well as I ride you. You. he keep his oath! I do assure you. that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. ANTONIO You do mistake me. with SIR ANDREW] Why. he will not hurt you. [Exeunt] [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH. VIOLA Pray. FABIAN Marry. as he is a gentleman and a soldier. sir. he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me. and. I have not seen such a firago. Let him let the matter slip. Sir Andrew. there’s no remedy.

[To VIOLA] This comes with seeking you: But there’s no remedy. sir. ornament. even such and so In favour was my brother. FIRST OFFICER ANTONIO Lead me on. And to his image. I’ll make division of my present with you: Hold. SIR TOBY BELCH FABIAN I know of none. come hither. come. VIOLA [Exit] A very dishonest paltry boy. prove true. Fabian: we’ll whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws. For him I imitate: O. Relieved him with such sanctity of love. babbling. Will you deny me now? Is’t possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery. I’ll after him again and beat him. drunkenness. [Exeunt] What’s that to us? The time goes by: away! 30 Volume I Book XIV . but never draw in it. no jot. away. What money. What will you do. Take him away: he knows I know him well. now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me Much more for what I cannot do for you Than what befalls myself.Twelfth Night: ACT III FIRST OFFICER No. SIR ANDREW O heavens themselves! Come. there’s half my coffer. let’s see the event. religious ’Slid. colour. did I devotion. I pray you. Do. done good feature shame. [Exit with Officers] Methinks his words do from such passion fly. But be of comfort. part. Nor know I you by voice or any feature: I hate ingratitude more in a man Than lying. None can be call’d deform’d but the unkind: Virtue is beauty. You stand amazed. SIR TOBY BELCH thy sword. O. sir? For the fair kindness you have show’d me here. vainness. This youth that you see here I snatch’d one half out of the jaws of death. which methought did promise Most venerable worth. ANTONIO The man grows mad: away with him! Come. In nature there’s no blemish but the mind. And. imagination. Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love. I must entreat of you some of that money. SECOND OFFICER ANTONIO VIOLA But O how vile an idol proves this god Thou hast. I know your favour well. be now ta’en for you! VIOLA Come. and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him. sir. and he went Still in this fashion. ask Fabian. knight. and for his cowardship. VIOLA ANTONIO A coward. Out of my lean and low ability I’ll lend you something: my having is not much. if it prove. go. Sebastian. being prompted by your present trouble.— Let me speak a little. cuff him soundly. ANTONIO I must obey. Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. That I. sir. Prove true. I dare lay any money ’twill be SIR TOBY BELCH nothing yet. Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. SIR TOBY BELCH He named Sebastian: I my brother know Yet living in my glass. dear brother. but the beauteous evil Are empty trunks o’ erflourish’d by the devil. I shall answer it. ANTONIO Come hither. sir. That he believes himself: so do not I. a most devout coward. SIR ANDREW FABIAN SECOND OFFICER ANTONIO An I do not. FIRST OFFICER Come. Lest that it make me so unsound a man As to upbraid you with those kindnesses That I have done for you.

and so be! [Exeunt] Volume I Book XIV 31 .Twelfth Night: ACT IV ACT IV SCENE I Before OLIVIA’s house. gentle friend. If it be thus to dream. CLOWN Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch. put up your iron: you are well fleshed. And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botch’d up. SIR TOBY BELCH SEBASTIAN I prithee. O. sir. that thou thereby Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go: Do not deny. Nay. will prove a cockney. come on. let him alone: I’ll go another way to work with him. I do not know you. nor your name is not Master Cesario. to bid you come speak with her. SEBASTIAN What. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Or I am mad. CLOWN This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. thou art a foolish fellow: Let me be clear of thee. if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first. thou hast an open hand. I prithee. nor this is not my nose neither. vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou know’st not me. SEBASTIAN Why. Toby. depart from me: There’s money for thee: if you tarry longer. and FABIAN] I prithee. and there. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH by me! SEBASTIAN OLIVIA Come on. [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH. sway In this uncivil and thou unjust extent Against thy peace. I will not let you go. my young soldier. CLOWN [Enter OLIVIA] OLIVIA Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man and now applies it to a fool. not thy passion. draw thy sword. dear Cesario. I’ll have an action of battery against him. What wouldst thou now? If thou darest tempt me further. what? Nay. [Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown] CLOWN Nay. SIR ANDREW. and there. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase. sir. I prithee now. sir. say so. hold. have I met you again? there’s for you. Nothing that is so is so. I shall give worse payment. CLOWN Come. hold! Madam! SIR TOBY BELCH OLIVIA SEBASTIAN I prithee. Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves. Go with me to my house. Go to. come. Come. I will be free from thee. Where manners ne’er were preach’d! out of my sight! Be not offended. i’ faith! No. would thou’ldst be ruled Madam. there’s for thee. foolish Greek. Beshrew his soul for me. or else this is a dream: Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep. sir. go to. nor I am not sent to you by my lady. ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming? Hold. yet it’s no matter for that. SIR TOBY BELCH. SIR TOBY BELCH Well held out. SIR ANDREW SEBASTIAN Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? SEBASTIAN Let go thy hand. Let thy fair wisdom. Are all the people mad? SIR TOBY BELCH Hold. or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house. He started one poor heart of mine in thee. still let me sleep! SEBASTIAN OLIVIA [Enter SIR ANDREW. then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. be gone! By my troth. I will. Rudesby. the world. and FABIAN] SIR ANDREW Now. on thy life I charge thee.

” so I. hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies? CLOWN SIR TOBY BELCH MALVOLIO Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown: he sees thee not. what is “that” but ’that. a SIR TOBY BELCH Fare thee well. and I will dissemble myself in’t. I am no more mad than you are: make the trial of it in any constant question. thou errest: I say. “That that is is. [Enter MARIA and Clown] Nay. Tell me how thy lady does.” and “is” but “is”? SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. I would he were. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst. and yet complainest thou of obstruction? I am not mad. thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms. there is no darkness but ignorance. Out. and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. MALVOLIO CLOWN What thinkest thou of his opinion? I think nobly of the soul. I am not tall enough to become the function well. CLOWN Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes. What. MALVOLIO [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? CLOWN Jove bless thee. never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas. nor lean enough to be thought a good student. and I say. in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. this house is as dark as ignorance. this house is dark. MALVOLIO [Exit] Well. Come by and by to my chamber. Sir Topas: I say to you. If he may be conveniently delivered. To him in thine own voice. Sir Topas. for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. that never saw pen and ink. for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy: sayest thou that house is dark? CLOWN [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] CLOWN [Singing] “Hey. Bonos dies. make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do it quickly. The competitors enter. Sir Topas. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits. Sir Topas. and no way approve his opinion. Robin. for. ho. MALVOLIO CLOWN Sir Topas. Sir Topas. Fare thee well.Twelfth Night: ACT IV SCENE II OLIVIA’s house. I say! peace in this prison! The knave counterfeits well. CLOWN MALVOLIO good knave. CLOWN Madman. being Master Parson. I prithee. am Master Parson. and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. there was never man thus abused. Fie. go to my lady. MALVOLIO Nay. Sir Topas! My most exquisite Sir Topas! [Within] Who calls there? SIR TOBY BELCH CLOWN MARIA Sir Topas the curate. and fear to kill a woodcock. I am for all waters. very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc. Sir Toby: for. Sir Topas. MALVOLIO To him. MARIA MALVOLIO As hell. good Sir Topas. jolly Robin. master Parson. though ignorance were as dark as hell. SIR TOBY BELCH Well said. but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar.” MALVOLIO Fool! 32 Volume I Book XIV . do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. put on this gown and this beard. who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Master Parson. lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. CLOWN I say. I’ll put it on. and the clearstores toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony. as the old hermit of Prague.

I’ll requite it in the highest degree: I prithee. help me to a candle. why is she so?” Fool. good man devil. And anon. sir. In a trice. I say! Alas. But tell me true. MALVOLIO CLOWN “Alas. But as well? then you are mad indeed. God be wi’ you. I will fetch you light and paper and ink. I am. What say you sir? I am shent for speaking to you. if ’twere so. ah. yet. Who. but no madness. be patient. Yet ’tis not madness. If you mean well. fool. MALVOLIO CLOWN MALVOLIO CLOWN “She loves another”—Who calls. if you be no better in your wits than a fool. command her followers. with dagger of lath. I’ll be with you again. perdy. ink and paper: as I am a gentleman. MALVOLIO CLOWN Master Malvolio? Ay.” Fool! MALVOLIO CLOWN Believe me. I’ll ne’er believe a madman till I see his brains. sir. Now go with me and with this holy man Into the chantry by: there. good Sir Topas. paper and light. Good fool. I say! Nay. Fool. amen. and convey what I will set down to my lady: it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. asses. This pearl she gave me. how fell you besides your five wits? MALVOLIO Fool. MALVOLIO Advise you what you say. That this may be some error. I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Who. That I am ready to distrust mine eyes And wrangle with my reason that persuades me To any other trust but that I am mad Or else the lady’s mad. ha! to the devil: Like a mad lad. and leave thy vain bibble babble. that is the glorious sun. CLOWN [Exit] SCENE III OLIVIA’s garden. Your need to sustain. send ministers to me. sir? not I. before him. fool. OLIVIA I will help you to’t. the minister is here. By this hand. as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand. She could not sway her house. Pare thy nails. I am not. MALVOLIO [Enter OLIVIA and Priest] Blame not this haste of mine. Good fool. In his rage and his wrath. I will live to be thankful to thee for’t. and pen. I do feel’t and see’t. sir. Take and give back affairs and their dispatch With such a smooth. be gone. SEBASTIAN They have here propertied me. as thou art. Malvolio. discreet and stable bearing As I perceive she does: there’s something in’t That is deceiveable. sir. sir. then? I could not find him at the Elephant: Yet there he was. Merry. And though ’tis wonder that enwraps me thus. I tell thee true. CLOWN MALVOLIO CLOWN Sir Topas! Maintain no words with him. That he did range the town to seek me out. some ink. MALVOLIO CLOWN Alas. good fellow. Adieu. [Enter SEBASTIAN] This is the air. For though my soul disputes well with my sense. Like to the old Vice. Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance. sir. But here the lady comes. fool. I. Where’s Antonio. and do all they can to face me out of my wits. I will. are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit? CLOWN Volume I Book XIV 33 . good fool. MALVOLIO CLOWN Well-a-day that you were. there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits. sir. dad. thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep. I will.Twelfth Night: ACT IV CLOWN “My lady is unkind. MALVOLIO CLOWN Fool. Cries. ha? [Singing] I am gone. Good fool. and there I found this credit. keep me in darkness. all discourse. help me to some light and some paper: I tell thee. His counsel now might do me golden service. Malvolio.

and in recompense desire my dog again. 34 Here comes the man. CURIO. By my troth. one. having sworn truth. sir. friends? Ay. as you say. Thou shalt not be the worse for me: there’s gold. and go with you. CLOWN DUKE ORSINO CLOWN CLOWN Good Master Fabian. and let your flesh and blood obey it. it may awake my bounty further. [Enter ANTONIO and Officers] That face of his I do remember well. ever will be true. I am abused: so that. we are some of her trappings. sir. But that it would be double-dealing. sir. sir. I go. you give me ill counsel. if your four negatives make your two affirmatives why then. CLOWN No. good father. is a good tripping measure. let your bounty take a nap. CLOWN DUKE ORSINO You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know I am here to speak with her. and bring her along with you. they praise me and make an ass of me. secundo. sir. two. and Lords] DUKE ORSINO CLOWN Belong you to the Lady Olivia. the worse. What do you say? I’ll follow this good man. Put your grace in your pocket. for this once. sir. sir. my Primo. the third pays for all: the triplex. though it please you to be one of my friends. [Enter Clown and FABIAN] FABIAN DUKE ORSINO CLOWN Why. Plight me the full assurance of your faith. sir. when I saw it last. as thou lovest me. DUKE ORSINO Just the contrary. to be a double-dealer: there’s another. How can that be? Marry. CLOWN DUKE ORSINO good fellow? Truly. FABIAN CLOWN FABIAN Any thing. O. grant me another request. lullaby to your bounty till I come again. sir. now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes. I will awake it anon. may put you in mind. but I would not have you to think that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but. sir I profit in the knowledge of myself. sir. Do not desire to see this letter. This is. That my most jealous and too doubtful soul May live at peace. conclusions to be as kisses. Yet. how dost thou. What time we will our celebration keep According to my birth. I would you could make it another. the better for thy friends. the better for my foes and the worse for my friends. or the bells of Saint Bennet. That they may fairly note this act of mine! OLIVIA [Exeunt] ACT V SCENE I Before OLIVIA’s house. CLOWN DUKE ORSINO CLOWN [Exit] VIOLA Marry. VIOLA. and heavens so shine. this is excellent. three. the worse for my friends and the better for my foes. Well. I know thee well. He shall conceal it Whiles you are willing it shall come to note. I will be so much a sinner. and by my friends. SEBASTIAN Then lead the way.Twelfth Night: ACT V And underneath that consecrated roof. sir. to give a dog. no. DUKE ORSINO Now. it was besmear’d DUKE ORSINO Volume I Book XIV . sir. is a good play. sir. and the old saying is. let me see his letter. And. DUKE ORSINO [Enter DUKE ORSINO. tertio. that did rescue me.

— My lord would speak. Both day and night did we keep company. Cesario? Good my lord. lord. his false cunning. without retention or restraint. to perverseness? you uncivil lady. fellow. Whom thou. my lord. Him will I tear out of that cruel eye. Like to the Egyptian thief at point of death.— DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA What do you say. And that I partly know the instrument That screws me from my true place in your favour. For shallow draught and bulk unprizable. Orsino’s enemy. desperate of shame and state. What’s the matter? Orsino. most jocund. And this is he that did the Tiger board. on base and ground enough. apt and willingly. And I. fellow. A witchcraft drew me hither: That most ingrateful boy there by your side. my lord. not a minute’s vacancy. whom I know you love. Drew to defend him when he was beset: Where being apprehended. more than my life. But hear me this: Since you to non-regardance cast my faith. And grew a twenty years removed thing While one would wink. my thoughts are ripe in mischief: I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love. this is that Antonio That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy. But this your minion. VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA Where goes Cesario? [Enter OLIVIA and Attendants] After him I love More than I love these eyes. I tender dearly. To spite a raven’s heart within a dove. a wreck past hope he was: His life I gave him and did thereto add My love. my duty hushes me. than e’er I shall love wife. thy words are madness: Three months this youth hath tended upon me. Be pleased that I shake off these names you give me: Antonio never yet was thief or pirate. Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable? Cesario. To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull’st offerings hath breathed out That e’er devotion tender’d! What shall I do? DUKE ORSINO Even what it please my lord. VIOLA DUKE ORSINO Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies. OLIVIA How can this be? When came he to this town? Why should I not. with me. To do you rest. Orsino. Hast made thine enemies? ANTONIO If it be aught to the old tune. In private brabble did we apprehend him. a thousand deaths would die. Take him aside. He did me kindness. had I the heart to do it. but that he may not have. that shall become him. drew on my side. by all mores. Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still. But in conclusion put strange speech upon me: I know not what ’twas but distraction. No interim. That very envy and the tongue of loss Cried fame and honour on him. When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: Here in the streets. boy. Kill what I love?—A savage jealousy That sometimes savours nobly. More. DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA Still so cruel? Still so constant. DUKE ORSINO DUKE ORSINO ANTONIO To-day.Twelfth Night: ACT V As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war: A bawbling vessel was he captain of. From the rude sea’s enraged and foamy mouth Did I redeem. pure for his love. With which such scathful grapple did he make With the most noble bottom of our fleet. Into the danger of this adverse town. by heaven I swear. DUKE ORSINO What would my lord. And whom. All his in dedication. in terms so bloody and so dear. Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance. noble sir. VIOLA What. Where he sits crowned in his master’s spite. OLIVIA VIOLA Madam! Gracious Olivia. Come. FIRST OFFICER Here comes the countess: now heaven walks on earth. sir. for his sake Did I expose myself. Though I confess. Volume I Book XIV 35 . Not meaning to partake with me in danger. But for thee. and for three months before. But more of that anon. Which I had recommended to his use Not half an hour before. you do not keep promise with me. denied me mine own purse. It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear As howling after music.

Sir Andrew? Ay. SIR ANDREW OLIVIA Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong? Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long? Call forth the holy father. sirrah! DUKE ORSINO VIOLA OLIVIA The count’s gentleman. though lately we intended To keep in darkness what occasion now Reveals before ’tis ripe. here he is! You broke my head for nothing. by thy reverence. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: You drew your sword upon me without cause. I charge thee. his eyes were set at eight i’ the morning. take thy fortunes up. what thou dost know Hath newly pass’d between this youth and me. SIR ANDREW DUKE ORSINO No. and that that I did. I was set on to do’t by Sir Toby. one Cesario: we took him for a coward. a gull! SIR TOBY BELCH 36 Volume I Book XIV . Sot. and take her. and a passy measures panyn: I hate a drunken rogue. an hour agone. detested! how am I beguiled! [Enter SIR ANDREW] For the love of God. That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow? Farewell. But I bespoke you fair. Cesario? Alas. “Od’s lifelings. though thou hast too much fear. my lord. my watch hath told me. and then thou art As great as that thou fear’st.Twelfth Night: ACT V If I do feign. Sir Toby. because well be dressed together. my lord? Cesario. PRIEST If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt. it is the baseness of thy fear That makes thee strangle thy propriety: Fear not. Be that thou know’st thou art. DUKE ORSINO How now. SIR ANDREW Will you help? an ass-head and a coxcomb and a knave. you witnesses above Punish my life for tainting of my love! OLIVIA VIOLA O. Cesario. husband. A contract of eternal bond of love. and hurt you not. away! Whither. your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home. OLIVIA Ay me. Confirm’d by mutual joinder of your hands. didst see Dick surgeon. I do protest— I’ll help you. and there’s the end on’t. gentleman! how is’t with you? That’s all one: has hurt me. welcome. stay. DUKE ORSINO VIOLA Then he’s a rogue. you have hurt me: I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. toward my grave I have travell’d but two hours. Husband! He has broke my head across and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God. he’s drunk. you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink. not I. but he’s the very devil incardinate. SIR ANDREW My gentleman. CLOWN O thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be When time hath sow’d a grizzle on thy case? Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow. sot? SIR TOBY BELCH O. do not swear! Hold little faith. by my testimony: Since when. SIR TOBY BELCH Away with him! Who hath made this havoc with them? OLIVIA My lord. And all the ceremony of this compact Seal’d in my function. father! Father. SIR ANDREW OLIVIA DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA Who has done this. a thin-faced knave. but direct thy feet Where thou and I henceforth may never meet. Strengthen’d by interchangement of your rings. Attested by the holy close of lips. SIR ANDREW [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and Clown] Here comes Sir Toby halting. a surgeon! Send one presently to Sir Toby. Here to unfold. VIOLA [Enter Priest] O. he would have tickled you othergates than he did. husband: can he that deny? Her husband. OLIVIA DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA What’s the matter? Come. Sir Toby.

thou hast said to me a thousand times Thou never shouldst love woman like to me. Whom the blind waves and surges have devour’d. SIR TOBY BELCH. had it been the brother of my blood. Were you a woman. How does he. I should my tears let fall upon your cheek. and SIR ANDREW] [Enter SEBASTIAN] I am sorry. You are betroth’d both to a maid and man. I’ll bring you to a captain in this town. Since I have lost thee! ANTONIO SEBASTIAN ANTONIO And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number’d thirteen years. I had a sister. And all those sayings will I overswear. A gentleman. Such a Sebastian was my brother too. A natural perspective. even for the vows We made each other but so late ago. Antonio? [To OLIVIA] So comes it. lady. sweet one. and FABIAN] A most extracting frenzy of mine own From my remembrance clearly banish’d his. by my life. alas. one habit. that is and is not! SEBASTIAN Antonio. as the rest goes even. at Malvolio’s suit. VIOLA Sebastian are you? Fear’st thou that. and by that I do perceive it hath offended you: Pardon me. If this be so. Of charity. that record is lively in my soul! He finished indeed his mortal act That day that made my sister thirteen years. But am in that dimension grossly clad Which from the womb I did participate. And those swearings keep as true in soul As doth that orbed continent the fire That severs day from night. SEBASTIAN How have you made division of yourself? An apple. I shall have share in this most happy wreck. and let his hurt be look’d to. O my dear Antonio! How have the hours rack’d and tortured me. fortune. [Exeunt Clown. sirrah? My father had a mole upon his brow. Nor are you therein. So went he suited to his watery tomb: If spirits can assume both form and suit You come to fright us. VIOLA Give me thy hand. Nor can there be that deity in my nature. you have been mistook: But nature to her bias drew in that. SEBASTIAN Volume I Book XIV 37 . SEBASTIAN DUKE ORSINO One face. VIOLA Most wonderful! Do I stand there? I never had a brother. And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds. Of here and every where. You throw a strange regard upon me. SEBASTIAN If nothing lets to make us happy both But this my masculine usurp’d attire. I have hurt your kinsman: But. I must have done no less with wit and safety. right noble is his blood. as yet the glass seems true. DUKE ORSINO [To VIOLA] Boy. drowned Viola!” SEBASTIAN VIOLA He shall enlarge him: fetch Malvolio hither: And yet. OLIVIA [Re-enter Clown with a letter. All the occurrence of my fortune since Hath been between this lady and this lord. what kin are you to me? What countryman? what name? what parentage? SEBASTIAN Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father. VIOLA A spirit I am indeed. and follower of my lady’s. time. do cohere and jump That I am Viola: which to confirm. is not more twin Than these two creatures. poor gentleman. DUKE ORSINO The captain that did bring me first on shore Hath my maid’s garments: he upon some action Is now in durance. cleft in two. Where lie my maiden weeds. he’s much distract. and two persons. They say. by whose gentle help I was preserved to serve this noble count. Which is Sebastian? OLIVIA Be not amazed. madam. one voice. FABIAN. Do not embrace me till each circumstance Of place. deceived.Twelfth Night: ACT V OLIVIA Get him to bed. now I remember me. And say “Thrice-welcome. And so had mine. You would have been contracted to a maid. VIOLA O.

And now I do bethink me. madam. But when we know the grounds and authors of it. Bade me come smiling and cross-garter’d to you. And let no quarrel nor no brawl to come FABIAN 38 Volume I Book XIV . And since you call’d me master for so long. you wrong me. So far beneath your soft and tender breeding. Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge Of thine own cause. Here at my house and at my proper cost. OLIVIA Have I. or you much shame. and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness and given your drunken cousin rule over me. [To FABIAN] [Reads] “By the Lord. You must not now deny it is your hand: Write from it. Fabian.” FABIAN OLIVIA CLOWN Lady. and read it. so please you. To think me as well a sister as a wife. much like the character But out of question ’tis Maria’s hand. this same. Malvolio. these things further thought on. you have done me wrong.Twelfth Night: ACT V CLOWN Truly. madam. Malvolio? no. bring him hither. Or say ’tis not your seal. Alas. sirrah. Though. acting this in an obedient hope. Kept in a dark house. One day shall crown the alliance on’t. I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be. OLIVIA CLOWN Is this the madman? Ay. visited by the priest. and for your service done him. Malvolio! Madam. madonna. peruse that letter. Why have you suffer’d me to be imprison’d. but as a madman’s epistles are no gospels. I should have given’t you to-day morning. and give ear. madam. And. To put on yellow stockings and to frown Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people. And in such forms which here were presupposed Upon thee in the letter. madam. OLIVIA Open’t. Notorious wrong. So much against the mettle of your sex. OLIVIA CLOWN DUKE ORSINO Madam. you have. Read it you. [To VIOLA] Your master quits you. you must allow Vox. if you can. but to read his right wits is to read thus: therefore perpend. be content: This practise hath most shrewdly pass’d upon thee. with MALVOLIO] DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA No. with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right. DUKE ORSINO OLIVIA See him deliver’d. Here is my hand: you shall from this time be Your master’s mistress. THE MADLY-USED MALVOLIO. [Reads] “By the Lord. Prithee. then camest in smiling. Pray you. [Exit FABIAN] My lord so please you. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on. MALVOLIO OLIVIA Prithee.”— OLIVIA CLOWN A sister! You are she. he holds Belzebub at the staves’s end as well as a man in his case may do: has here writ a letter to you. I leave my duty a little unthought of and speak out of my injury. grant it then And tell me. Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers the madman. my princess. in hand or phrase. in the modesty of honour. so it skills not much when they are delivered. OLIVIA Good madam. nor your invention: You can say none of this: well. hear me speak. How now! art thou mad? [Re-enter FABIAN. MALVOLIO Did he write this? Ay. Why you have given me such clear lights of favour. So I do. this is not my writing. my lord. I am most apt to embrace your offer. yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. Think of me as you please. I confess. madam. And made the most notorious geck and gull That e’er invention play’d on? tell me why. How now. read i’ thy right wits. it was she First told me thou wast mad. This savours not much of distraction.

But when I came to man’s estate. Which I have wonder’d at. sir. sweet sister. A foolish thing was but a toy. Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts We had conceived against him: Maria writ The letter at Sir Toby’s great importance.” I was one. ho. “By the Lord. ho. except Clown] CLOWN [Sings] When that I was and a little tiny boy. For the rain. the wind and the rain. myself and Toby Set this device against Malvolio here. alas! To wive. he’s gagged:” and thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges. Orsino’s mistress and his fancy’s queen. But when in other habits you are seen. [Exit] OLIVIA He hath been most notoriously abused. With toss-pots still had drunken heads. &c. In hope it shall not. &c. &c.” But do you remember? “Madam. I am not mad. but that’s all one. For the rain. MALVOLIO I’ll be revenged on the whole pack of you. If that the injuries be justly weigh’d That have on both sides pass’d. Cesario. How with a sportful malice it was follow’d. But that’s all one. Meantime. By swaggering could I never thrive. With hey. With hey. For the rain it raineth every day. our play is done. And we'll strive to please you every day. sir. &c. For so you shall be. while you are a man. May rather pluck on laughter than revenge. OLIVIA CLOWN Of our dear souls. ho. poor fool. We will not part from hence. But when I came. ’some are born great. &c. Most freely I confess. some achieve greatness. A great while ago the world begun. But when I came unto my beds. come. DUKE ORSINO Pursue him and entreat him to a peace: He hath not told us of the captain yet: When that is known and golden time convents. [Exeunt all. in this interlude. Alas. ho. why laugh you at such a barren rascal? An you smile not. For the rain. ho. ’Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate. With hey. how have they baffled thee! Why. With hey. With hey.Twelfth Night: ACT V Taint the condition of this present hour. A solemn combination shall be made [Exit] Volume I Book XIV 39 . one Sir Topas. fool. &c. In recompense whereof he hath married her. and some have greatness thrown upon them. &c.

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