THE OREDIGGER

The student voice of the Colorado School of Mines
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Volume 93, Issue 4 September 24, 2012
JON DEMPSTER / OREDIGGER

News

Biodiversity is a hot topic on campus

Features 4

Meet our adventurous Geek the Week!
CSM men’s soccer takes an impressive 1-0 victory against cross-town rival Metro State. Read more on page 5.

Sports

5

CSM discusses Wind power global policy debate blows in
Brianne Fagan Guest Writer
Colorado School of Mines hosted a global event called World Wide Views on Sept 15, 2012. Created by the Danish Board of Technology in 2009, it sought to involve citizens in discussions about global policy topics. The first WWViews event discussed Global Warming and had over 50 countries participate. The numbers for WWViews on Biodiversity were smaller, but there was still a significant turnout globally. The Golden participation in the event was largely coordinated by Sandy Woodson of the LAIS department. She spent many days and months working to make this event possible. She opened the event with some introductions for speakers and by starting up the video welcome from the UN. Without Sandy Woodson and the Hennebach Program in the Humanities, this event would not have included Golden. Beginning with standards and entrance surveys, participants jumped into the first thematic session. Titled “Introduction to Biodiversity,” basic facts discussed were the definition of biodiversity, the statistics about the loss of biodiversity, and what the major threats were. At the end of the session, table discussions headed by a trained moderator helped formulate opinions about the major questions on which attendees were to vote. After votes were cast, a volunteer input the results straight to the WWViews website so that results could be compared in real time. The second thematic session regarded “Biodiversity on Land” and brought up issues of protected lands vs. economic interests and global food consumption. One issue discussed in regards to land was the issue of feeding livestock – an enterprise that needs ten times the land area of human plant based foods. Globally, only about 32% of people agreed on making a global policy to eat less meat, while over 50% of participants in the Colorado group agreed. This data was from the WWViews website and was even shown in real time to the CSM participants. After lunch and a Skype call to the WWViews group in Calgary, the third thematic session discussed “Biodiversity in the Sea,” an issue many of the Colorado participants found to be more complex than any of the participants realized. Overfishing causes major issues to biodiversity. The coral reefs, and the high seas remain relatively unregulated currently. Many Coloradans were quick to vote for immediate removal of fisherman subsidies world-wide. Continued at global on page 3

Sean Lopp Staff Writer

CSM Men’s and Women’s soccer face Metro

Opinion 8

Is the new iPhone worth the investment?

Satire

8

Hunt for Louis XIII’s gold shoes

power. Or in other words, looking at wind power from the perspective of individual wind farmer’s incentives. Their first project studied the Over the past decade, the influence of wind power has grown, cur- impact of spatial wake externalities rently providing 3% of energy pro- generated by wind turbines. “The duction in the United States. With basic idea is that up-wind wind this growth has come a demand for farms slow down the wind speed at information about the economics the down-wind wind farms.” Kaffine behind wind energy. At the forefront explained that as wind production of producing this information is Dr. grows, this could become a seriDan Kaffine, associate professor ous issue. “The idea there was to for the division of economics and bring classic externality analysis business and Chris Worley, a 2011 and put it into this new context of doctoral student. The two have wind energy.” The second project considered spent the past six years applying spatial diversifimicroeconomic tech- “The basic idea is that up- cation. “One of the issues with niques to the a n a l y s i s o f wind wind farms slow down w i n d p o w e r is it’s intermitwind power. In that span, the wind speed at the down- tent. There is a lot of interest in the duo has wind wind farms.” spreading wind published farms out in three papers space, and the idea being that based on their research. Their research began with a somewhere the wind is going to lingering interest expressed by Kaf- be blowing, so we can reduce the fine. “One of the observations when volatility of wind power if we spatially I came here six years ago was that diversify. We argue that this is true, there wasn’t a lot of economic re- but that private wind developers search on wind power at the time... won’t do this on their own.” Kaffine it seemed like a good area to dig into and Worley’s second paper argues and look at some of the economics that to avoid the problem of private wind farms clustering around “jackassociated with wind power.” Kaffine emphasizes that the link pot” areas, other outside incentives between all three research papers is need to be created. the innovative approach of applying Continued at debate on page 3 microeconomic analysis to wind

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september 24, 2012

Cambridge, Massachusetts - Behavioral scientists have speculated that time may affect the extent to which people will cooperate with others in a given setting. For example, when a group of people were given 40 cents each and asked to contribute a certain amount to a group pool, their contribution depended on how much time they were given to think about it. Those who were told to decide how much they wanted to contribute in less than 10 seconds gave more than those who were told to make their decision after 10 seconds had passed. This correlation indicates that people tend to reconsider their willingness to cooperate if given time to think about their decision. The gut reaction tends toward generosity and general cooperation, while extended time to think tends to counteract that reaction.

Joshua Kleitsch, Staff Writer

Evanston, Illinois - The current methods of power production involve releasing massive amounts of energy in the form of waste heat. When a fuel is combusted, the primary byproduct of that chemical reaction is heat. The efficiency with which that heat is recovered and turned into usable energy represents the efficiency of the generation system. If a system could be found that turns waste heat back into usable energy, then far less money would be spent in the generation of that energy. This is the problem that researchers at Northwestern University in Illinois have been studying, and their most recent report details the success they have had in developing a material that efficiently converts heat into usable electricity. The material is known as Lead Telluride, and can convert heat to electricity with an efficiency of roughly 12-17%, which is comparable to industrial photovoltaic cells. Photovoltaic cells are the cells that convert light into electricity.

Frederick, Maryland - The origin of the striping pattern on household tabby cats has long puzzled geneticists and scientists. Recently the code was cracked by a group of geneticists working under the guidance of Stephen O’Brien, who is now the head of the Theodosius Dobzhansky Center for Genome Informatics in St. Petersburg, Russia. The breakthrough occurred when the geneticists discovered that the genes responsible for the color variations are a genetic mutation. The color pattern they were most interested in was the blotchy pattern that looks like intertwined swirls, as this was originally thought to be a different species from the standard spotted cheetah. The mutation was passed from generation to generation, and eventually ended up in tabby cats. One other fact that the geneticists noted was that the color of the skin on the Cheetahs and the Tabbies did not change, but rather the color of the hair follicle itself.

London, England - Bumble Bees appear to move at random through flower patches when foraging for food and nectar, but what looks like randominity is actually the result of trial and error. Researchers at Queen Mary University of London have studied the flight paths taken by Bumble Bees, and have found that the bees, over time, found the shortest, most efficient path between a group of flowers. The scientists involved in the study attached tiny radar transponders to the bee’s backs, which allowed them to track the movements. Over the course of a month, the bees all reduced their total distance traveled between five artificial flowers by roughly 75%. The bees had to build a “mental map” that allowed them to recall which flower was nearest the one they were currently on.

Oredigger Staff
Katie Huckfeldt Editor-in-Chief Deborah Good Managing Editor Steven Wooldridge Webmaster Barbara Anderson Design Editor Lucy Orsi Business Manager Ian Mertz Copy Editor Arnaud Filliat Asst. Copy Editor Trevor Crane Content Manager Stephen Hejducek Content Manager David Tauchen Faculty Advisor

Headlines from around the world
Joshua Kleitsch, Staff Writer
The National Football League has lax guidelines regarding what types of helmets players are required to use, according to a new report by the New York Times. Even with the ever-increasing number of head injuries occurring every year in the NFL, no specific rules have been put in place the require a player to use the newest and most protective helmets available. Last week saw the deaths of Americans in the attacks on embassies in many parts of the Arab world. One story details the account of an ambush on the American Mission in Benghazi, Libya, that took place after the initial attack was over. The ambush resulted in the deaths of two more Americans, and was precise and well-executed. Those on the scene during the attack commented that the mortars were placed very accurately, indicating that the ambushing militants knew what they were doing. The attack on the American diplomatic facility in Benghazi, Libya, has been branded a “terrorist attack” by the White House. Press secretary Jay Carney said that it was self-evident that the attack was terrorism. The attack resulted in the deaths of four Americans total, one of whom was the U.S. Ambassador to Libya, J. Christopher Stevens. The Palestinian nation is returning to the U.N. in an attempt to gain “nonmember” status, which is primarily symbolic. The Palestinians lost their bid for full member status last year, but are returning with what many analysts are calling a longshot approach to regaining public attention. The Pew Research Center has released a new study that shows that restrictions on religion were at their peaks in North Africa and the Middle East at the end of 2010, shortly before the Arab Spring erupted across much of the region in 2011. The government restrictions on the practice of religion included limitations on preaching, conversions, and other religious practices. Pakistani protesters continued to rally against the antiislam film released last week. The violence surrounding the film has left at least 30 people dead across the globe. In an attempt to quiet some of the violence and salvage U.S. reputation in the Islamic world, President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have aired television ads condemning the film and denouncing its message. Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia, has put a surprising amount of effort into reversing many of the laws the former president Dmitri Medvedev put into place. One of the laws Medvedev enacted was the retirement age for high-level officials in the Russian government. Medvedev had dropped the mandatory retirement age to 60 or 65, in an attempt to bring more youth into the government. Putin raised the retirement age to 70, where it was before Medvedev took office.

Local News
A woman was killed by a tan or beige sedan in a hit-and-run crash on South Broadway early Sunday morning. Denver police, who are investigating the accident, report that the car was driving south on Broadway very rapidly away from the scene. In a separate incident, one motorcyclist died and another was hospitalized after a collision with a green Chevrolet Malibu at the intersection of East Quincy Avenue and South Reservoir Road 7:00 pm Saturday night. The two motorcyclists were thrown from their bike and taken to the hospital with serious injuries, where the driver died. Though the driver of the Malibu is cooperating, investigation continues. Western Weather Consultants earned a public hearing with the Colorado Water Conservation Board to renew their cloud-seeding permit. The company wants to renew its permit for five winters to perform cloud seeding for Denver Water, Colorado Springs Utilities and other clients. The company seeks to increase precipitation for farmers and ski resorts. GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney spoke at D’Evelyn High School Sunday at 5 pm in a campaign stop in a critical swing state. Romney is under pressure from the GOP to focus on campaigning rather than fundraising. Fire crews in Boulder County spent more than four hours Sunday morning fighting a Rock Creek house fire. Despite their best efforts, authorities say the house was a total loss and investigators could not enter until it was deemed safe. One firefighter was injured fighting the blaze, but was released from the hospital within a few hours. The homeowners were safe, but their cats were not found.

B A P B

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M B Z Y A P

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M Z Q Y O

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Q M C M T

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september 24, 2012

CSM discusses global policy Wind power debate blows in
Continued from page 1 Continued from page 1 The third project focused on the issue of split estate. Split estate is a long-standing legal precedent which traditionally allowed for the rights to the minerals below ground be separated from the ownership rights of the land above ground. In this application Worley and Kaffine considered the economic incentives of splitting property rights to land and the air above the land. “What is interesting about this project is that different states have gone different ways, some states have said, ‘yes, you can do that,’ while others have ‘no, you can’t do that.’ Wyoming just forbid it last year, and Colorado had a bill a couple of years ago endorsing the practice, and a recent bill forbidding the practice. So there is a lot of legal attention paid to this, but no one had really looked at it from an economic perspective.” Kaffine and Worley’s research has created a new knowledge base to be applied by government regulatory agencies as well as private energy companies as the demand for clean energy continues to grow. In fact, Worley now works as a regulatory analyst at the Governor’s Energy Office, looking to turn his research at Mines directly into policy. In other parts of the globe, citizens would rather see the subsidies phased out slowly. Although Biodiversity is a global topic, aspects of it affect some areas more than others. The fourth thematic session covered issues of “Burden and Benefit Sharing.” Many developing countries contain rich biodiversity that developed countries want to use. New medicines and other technologies developed from genetic information found in other areas often lead to medical breakthroughs and beneficial remedies. Recent UN guidelines set down a policy that countries of origin receive a portion of profits from information that originated there. The issue stems from samples collected prior to this policy, and whether or not countries should be compensated for those as well. The global majority decided, “Yes.” The Danish Board of Technology tried a new method to obtain world opinions during this WWViews event; they allowed each country to develop a “National Question” on the topic of biodiversity. In the United States, participants were asked, “If, and what sort of biodiversity policy should the U.S. should adopt?” After deciding yes or no, participants drafted a policy statement that could be read in under one minute. This will be given to US representatives going to the UN Biodiversity Conference, COP 11, in October. The drafted policies were shared aloud with the entire room. A majority of participants believed the U.S. should adopt a biodiversity policy

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USG talks tees
Aaron Pfeifer Staff Writer
“At Mines we are better than you and we know it.” This slogan, adapted from the movie, Dodgeball (Globogym’s slogan) was a hotly debated topic at last Thursday’s USG meeting in ballroom D. Associate Dean of Students, Derek Morgan, brought forward a concern about the Homecoming T-shirts. His concern was about the message on the T-shirts and the image that they could bring upon the students, faculty, school, and community. “Who is this message to?” Derek commented. He continued that he believed it was one thing to have pride, one thing to have school spirit, but another to put it on a shirt and taunt others. One representative commented that the shirts foster arrogance that employers and possibly alumni will not like. Arguments in favor of the shirt preferred to think of the shirt as a strong theme to foster school spirit for the incoming freshmen and to help pave the way for a whole new tradition of homecoming at Mines. Many senators argued that they, and their constituents, are proud of this school, and deserve to celebrate it. Representatives from MAC were also present at the meeting. They admitted, “We usually like to be more creative,” but that was the best slogan that had been presented, so they ran with it. “MAC went through the correct channels, it’s not their fault that the shirt was approved and now can’t be distributed,” representatives said. Ultimately, a motion was made and carried for USG to support the distribution of the Homecoming T-shirts with only one vote against the motion. Guest Speaker Dr. Tracy Gardner, Teaching Associate Professor and Asst. Department Head of the Chemical and Biological Engineering Department, stopped by to get opinions from the undergraduate representatives for a new program at Mines, FACTIR. FACTIR, Faculty Administration Collaboration to Improve Retention, is a program led by Dr. Gardner to help bolster retention at Mines. According to the numbers Gardner provided, in 2009, the freshmen to sophomore retention

Black holes provide model
Kyle Santi Staff Writer
Are black holes a hologram of strong interactions? That is a question Dr. Oliver DeWolfe, assistant professor at the University of Colorado, answered in his lecture, “Black Holes as Holograms of Strong Interactions.” With a fast pace, DeWolfe explained the exciting new research into quantum gravity and black holes. DeWolfe briefly talked about quantum chromodynamics (QCD), which describes how the quarks and gluons act. When quarks bond strongly together, they form protons, neutrons, etc. When gluons form strongly with quarks, they act like a liquid with very low viscosity. Then, DeWolfe talked about Fermi surfaces, which have the spin states of the quarks within filled while the outside is empty. Electrons act strongly around Fermi surfaces, but they are quasiparticles and interact with the surface weakly. This “Fermi liquid” describes most metals. This is still a field in need of further study. DeWolfe then discussed quantum gravity. “It is hard to find a system to test quantum gravity,” DeWolfe said. Quantum mechanics describes the uncertain nature of the subatomic, and general relativity states that gravity warps space and time. Quantum gravity seeks to link them. Therefore, it states that space and time must be quantized and uncertain. The laws regarding black holes are similar to the laws of thermodynamics. The change in mass for a black hole is similar to the change in internal energy in thermodynamics. According to the second law of thermodynamics, entropy never decreases and a black hole’s area never decreases, showing correspondence. In regards to quantum physics, a black hole can create virtual particles out of nothing that exist for a very brief time. With the creation of such particles, black holes can radiate, and the black hole can produce black body radiation. “It is believed that there are small black holes in star systems and large black holes at the center of galaxies,” said DeWolfe. How is quantum gravity explainable? DeWolfe said that particles, when examined at very small scales, are vibrating strings with different vibrations corresponding to different kinds of particles. Closed strings give rise to gravity; open strings give rise to other forces, such as nuclear, as gauge theories. Momentum conservation demands that open strings end on membrane with Dirichlet boundary conditions, or “D-branes.” These branes correspond only to the non-gravitational gauge theory localized in three dimensions for open strings. The mass of “black branes” curve

immediately, ratify a global treaty of biodiversity standards, and even go as far as starting up a new department in the government to regulate this. Consensus conferences have been used in Denmark for over a decade to help policy makers understand the views of ordinary citizens on complex policy topics. The use of short films and literature help educate participants to make informed decisions, and the group discussions help to solidify ideas and viewpoints. This gave ordinary citizens a chance to express their views and to see how other people around the world think about the same global issues. Look at biodiversity/wwviews. org for all the details from the day’s discussions.

rate was 87%. Only 40% of students graduate in 4 years, 67% graduate in 6 years (these numbers did not specify those with Co-ops, double majors or other factors). In comparison, similar schools such as MIT and Cal Tech have a retention well over 90%. Representatives shared their experience with Gardner and gave advice, such as more TA’s in classes, keeping students on campus more so they become more involved, as well as offering an introductory class to different majors at Mines. Gardner also shared that in the near future, as a result of FACTIR, there will be a two hour seminar to bring upperclassmen, enthusiastic professors and others to freshmen to help re-excite them as to what engineers can do, after the difficult core classes. Trevor Crane, the Student Body Treasurer, announced that reallocations for clubs will occur in mid-October. The application process this year will occur entirely through Org Sync. He also showed a summary of the breakdown of the Associated Students Fee, the fee where the money for clubs and reallocation comes from. Alyssa Brown, At-Large Faculty, shared that the faculty is currently discussing the naming of colleges. She also announced an unprecedented 1700 applications received already from those interested in attending Mines, in comparison to the roughly 60 applications the school has received at this time last year. RTD routes are currently being re-configured to account for the new light rail station located near the Jefferson County Building, according to At-Large Institution, Josh Ho. Additionally, the school is discussing extending the pedestrian pathway from the Rec Center all the way to Araphoe between Marquez and the Green Center. Parking lot B next to Weaver and Maple could be gone as soon as next semester to make way for the construction of an additional residence hall. Half of lot E could be stripped to for a new Alumni building in the near future. If you have any questions or concerns for the Undergraduate Student Government, please contact your class president or stop by your classes office hours.

Building projects, military action, and politics
Deborah Good Managing Editor
Road work proceeded at a reasonably rapid pace this week in 1916. The West Colfax-South Golden highway was “going ahead at the rate of approximately 400 feet of cement surfacing per day,” reported “The Colorado Transcript.” The first link of the road was, weather permitting, supposed to be completed by the beginning of November. To meet this deadline, workers were busy seven days a week. The road was to be only the first bit of a longer road, which would help connect Golden to the rest of Colorado. The Colorado National Guard was ordered to the Mexican border this week in 1916. About 249 men from Battery B of Denver and Battery C of Colorado Springs prepared to make the journey. Their goal was to “relieve 10,000 who will be returned to their homes.” Likely, this mission was necessitated by the actions of Mexican revolutionary leader Pancho Villa. Large portions of the Standley Dam broke away this week in 1916 and the repairs were expected to be so expensive that it was uncertain they would be undertaken. The dam was at the time one of the largest earth dams in the world and had cost more than $1,000,000. “The Colorado Transcript” estimated that it would require “several hundred thousand dollars” worth of repairs before it could again hold the intended volume of water. As portions of the dam had essentially

This week in Colorado history

space and time and affect general relativity in higher dimensions. Hyper-dimensional gravity theory and non-gravitational gauge theory are dual ways to describe the same system. This means that black holes can be described by another system in fewer dimensions. Ergo, black holes are a hologram. Gravity can then be described by classical geometry without the help of quantum effects or string theory. “Gravity is massively redundant,” said DeWolfe. How can this apply to QCD? Irreversible processes correspond to things falling through a black hole’s horizon. When perturbed, the black hole’s response can be mapped as a dual fluid. The universal result – a fluid with very low viscosity. At zero density, there is a crossover from protons to liberated quark-gluon plasma. At a finite density, the graph shows a first order phase transition similar to liquid/gas transitions that end on a critical point. This critical point has critical exponents obeying nontrivial scaling laws. “It’s always remarkable and gratifying to see black holes work in our graphs,” said DeWolfe. DeWolfe raised questions among the audience, specifically that black holes may function as a hologram with strong interactions. He indicated further research was required in this area of string theory.

“disappeared,” the paper mused where they could have gone and whether it could be ensured that this would not happen again. Guy E. Juchem commented in “The Colorado Transcript” this week in 1916 on the disadvantages of the primary system. “Obviously, it is the intention of the direct primary election law to give to the voters of the state the direct selection of candidates for public office,” said Juchem. However, he felt that “the law does not in any respect live up to its good intentions.” He supported his argument by pointing out that in Jefferson County in 1912, 2213 votes were cast at the primaries, versus 4965 votes in the general election. In 1914, 2580 votes were cast at the primaries, versus 5177 votes in the general election.

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f e a t u r e s

The demon haunted Universe skies Our place in the
John Bristow Staff Writer
From a certain perspective, the sky is an incredible temple, representing the creativity and superstitions of human mentality. It is likely that the first supernatural association to the heavens arose during the dawn of humanity, as tribes of protohumans gazed up at the wide arch of the Milky Way above the dark and ever dangerous plains of Africa and the Middle-East. There is little that is more impressive than a pure night sky, uncorrupted by the lights that currently dot the globe, and as this sight still impresses us today, it must have inspired awe in our ancestors. By the time of civilization, the realm of the night sky had been partitioned and given powers associated with various gods and demons. Some of the earliest societies had a recognizable zodiac with certain constellations wearing the façade of semi-mortal heroes. There were mightier beings yet in the celestial sphere – the planets. The ancients surely observed a few points that do not move like others; if one pays even more attention he or she may begin to notice that compared to the prior night, these abstract points occasionally go the wrong direction rather than advancing. Though these are now known as planets, in the days of antiquity, the retrograde motion of the planets could mean only that they were deities. Within the context of Roman civilization, the planets were given the names of the primary gods; the red dot clearly had to be associated with warfare, and thus it was given the identity of Mars. The more serene and bright second planet was deemed Venus. The slower planets were given more importance and

september 24, 2012

Marquez Hall
Grand openinG

Friday, SepteMber 28, 2012 4 – 6 p.m.; 16th & arapahoe Join the Mines community to celebrate the grand opening of the new home for our petroleum engineering department.
Marquez Hall has become a reality thanks to more than $27 million in philanthropic commitments from alumni and friends.

Pumpkin Muffins: As easy as one, two

thus became Jupiter, the ruler of the heavens, and Saturn. Finally, the dimmest planet, the one which held close to the Sun and moved the fastest was the messenger, Mercury. For millennia, these were the only known planets, but as single deity monotheism overtook the diversity of polytheism, the godlike visage of the planets was lost with the only theistic aspect being the angels who continued to push them around on their meandering orbits. By the time of the Scientific Revolution and the Enlightenment, the laws of gravitation as well as motion had been postulated, and cherubs were no longer needed to explain the circular orbits of the heliocentric solar system, still an aspect of the ethereal realm remained veiled around the planets. Before close observation had taken place, the named planets retained some element of their former namesake. Were there life on Mars, it must have been violent and waring. The works of Ray Bradbury and Edgar Rice Burroughs reflect this as a cultural phenomenon. Venus was pictured to be a lush steamy planet, possibly with hyper intelligent beings. Even Jupiter retained an element of regality in the solar system and still does to this day. While the skies are not nearly as demon-haunted as humans once imagined them to be, there is possibility that god-like beings may exist. If we ever encounter any sort of extra-terrestrial life on their terms, the chance that they will be far beyond us in terms of technology is likely; to this extent they may have the powers that had been attributed to gods. By the time we ourselves come to explore beyond our family of planets, we may too be the gods to some other alien civilization.

Whitney Welch Staff Writer
Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin bars, pumpkin pies and now two-ingredient pumpkin muffins all signify that fall is here. Not only does pumpkin conjure up thoughts of fall, but it is healthy too. Pumpkin puree is full of fiber, vitamin A, vitamin K, and potassium. This recipe is an easy way to satisfy a pumpkin fix and get a little nutrition at the same time. Ingredients: 15 oz. can of pumpkin puree

(not pumpkin pie filling) 1 box of spice cake mix Directions: Preheat oven to 350°F. Stir the pumpkin puree into the dry spice cake mix until fully mixed together. Fill 12 lined muffin cups 2/3 full. The muffins do not rise much in the oven, so the finished product will be similarly sized to the unbaked muffins. Bake the muffins at 350°F for 18-22 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Enjoy!
WHITNEY WELCH / OREDIGGER

mines.edu • giving.mines.edu
These delicious muffins are healthy and easy to make; they only require two ingredients! w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t

september 24, 2012

Orediggers shut out Metro State 1-0
Jared Riemer Staff Writer
The Oredigger Men’s Soccer team was looking for their fourth straight victory Friday night as they hosted cross town rival Metro State. Led by strong defense and impressive goalkeeping, the Orediggers earned that fourth straight win with a 1-0 victory, improving their record to 4-1-2 on the year and 1-0-2 in the RMAC. The highlight of the night came in the 18th minute when freshman Joe Haines scored the lone goal of the game and his first career goal as an Oredigger. Haines’ goal was set up by senior Alex Nass as Nass blasted a free kick towards the goal. The rebound found sophomore Tanner McManus, who quickly passed it to Haines. Haines put the ball just past the diving goalkeeper to give Mines the 1-0 advantage. The remainder of the half saw chances by both teams, but both goalies made some impressive saves to keep the score 1-0 heading into the half. In the second half, the Roadrunners started to push the pace and as a result, earned four more corner kicks and four more second half shots (10-6) than the Orediggers. However, none of those shots found their desired target as senior goalkeeper Manville Strand made some key saves. Mines would respond and both teams would have their chances, but none closer than when junior Forward Tesho Akindele’s goal was disregarded thanks to a questionable offside call in the last quarter of the second half. The game was a defensive struggle throughout, getting chippy at times as the teams were called for a total of 22 fouls. With the back and forth play of the second half, both defenses spent much time on their heels. The Orediggers recorded a total of 13 shots to Metro State’s 17, but thanks to outstanding defense, and superb goaltending by Strand, who recorded four saves on the night, Mines survived being outshot to record their first win of the conference season. The Orediggers continue their season Friday, September 28 against 1-4 UCCS at Moutain Lion Stadium in Colorado Springs.

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ALL PHOTOS JON DEMPSTER / OREDIGGER

Tesho Akindele (#10) posted one shot on goal.

Entropy Ultimate travels the nation in style
Sydney Liming Club Sports
Combining the aerial passing skills of football and baseball with the non-stop movement and athletic endurance of lacrosse and soccer, the game of Ultimate is composed of two seven-player teams on a field similar those used by soccer and football. The object of the game is to score by catching a pass in the opponent’s end zone, just like football. A key rule of the game is that the player must stop running while in possession of the Frisbee, but is allowed to pivot and pass to any of the player’s teammates on the field. Turnovers occur with a dropped pass, an interception, when a player holds the Frisbee for more than 10 seconds, or when a pass goes out of bound. A unique aspect of the game of Ultimate Frisbee is that is governed by Spirit of the Game, a tradition of sportsmanship and honesty that places the responsibility of fair play on the players of the two teams, rather than on referees. The first and foremost rule of the game is “Treat others as you would like to be treated”, with following emphasis on calm reactions and having fun. The Ultimate Frisbee Club (aka “Entropy Ultimate”) here at CSM has approximately 30 students that attend practices, with nearly all of them traveling to the first tournament in Utah. Unlike most sports, ultimate Frisbee competitions are usually held as tournaments over a weekend. During a tournament, most of the team members get plenty of playing time. In years past, the team has traveled to competitions across Colorado and even Kansas, Utah, and Nevada. The biggest event of the year for the team is their yearly trip to Las Vegas to compete in the nationally hosted, USA-sanctioned tournament “Trouble in Vegas”. Two years ago, the club had fallen on tough times mainly due to lack of interest and recruitment for the club. Since then, the team has experienced healthy growth, improving each year in both skill and membership. The team also has a dedicated coach (an alumnus of Mines) who is working to make the team better than ever before. The team is looking for anyone who is willing to learn and is interested in some healthy competition. The team will help anyone who doesn’t have any experience learn the necessary skills. If you are interested in joining Club Ultimate, please contact clubultimatem@mines. edu, or by showing up to a practice on Mondays and Wednesdays from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM on the North IM Fields. Please bring cleats, water, a light and dark shirt, as well as your health insurance informa- Entropy Ultimate has approximately 30 student members and has tion. traveled to Utah, Nevada, and Kansas.

Seun Ogunmodede (#11) drives forward during Friday’s game.

Goalie Manville Strand (#1) saves four shots on goal.

COURTESY CLUB SPORTS

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The Football Informant Lady Orediggers fall
Some meaningful results

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september 24, 2012

short against Metro
Jared Riemer Staff Writer
Just a week after a bitter overtime defeat by No. 2 Fort Lewis, the Lady Orediggers lost another hard fought game, falling 2-1 to Metro State. The loss marks the first time Mines (4-3-0 overall, 1-2-0 RMAC) has lost consecutive games since October 2010. The game opened with a fast pace, as neither team was able to maintain control for the first five minutes. But in the sixth minute, Metro’s Tess Hagenlock scored the first goal of the game on a kick from about 25 yards out that just slipped in over the head of CSM goalie Jayln Yates. After a few more wide shots by the Roadrunners, Mines responded with their own counter-attack in the 17th minute when a Megan Woodworth pass caught the foot of Anna Evans and she struck a point blank shot into the back of the net to tie the score up at one apiece. The score remained tied at 1-1 until Metro State broke through in

James Kergosien Staff Writer
This weekend, football season finally started! At least, that’s how it seemed at a number of campuses across the land where highly-ranked teams played against solid competition at last. Gone were the Idahos and Savannah States of the world; in came competitive sides like Arizona and Kansas State. There is finally evidence to substantiate or undermine the meaningless but endlessly-repeated early rankings. Alabama has already staked its claim as one of the nation’s best teams. Oklahoma failed quite badly at the same, while Kansas State has a legitimate case. LSU needs to work on its offense, but the defense is a force to be reckoned with, as the Tigers demonstrated in a 12-10 vintage SEC-style throttling of Auburn, who did not score in the second half. South Carolina turned some heads with a lockdown of Missouri, and the Gamecocks will be getting plenty of attention in two weeks when they host Georgia. Florida State took a step toward legitimizing its high ranking, coming from behind to lock down Clemson after a shaky first half. Oregon pitched in a bizarre performance against Arizona,

stopping the Wildcats in the red zone four times in the first half, before pulling away late. The game was summed up in a single play when wildcat-formation quarterback Brian Bennett refused to let go of the ball on a handoff to Colt Lyerla, and the pair ran, arms locked, two yards for a touchdown. Meanwhile, the Big Ten Conference continued to slide. With Iowa’s loss to Central Michigan, the conference has recorded three losses to MAC teams this season. Notre Dame continued its evisceration of the Big Ten’s leading contenders, choking out Michigan 13-6. Three undefeated Big Ten teams remain in Minnesota, Northwestern, and Ohio State, and the Buckeyes are on probation and ineligible for the postseason. Unfortunately, this week there are very few games of national importance, barring the inevitable surprises. The rent-a-win phenomenon seems unlikely to go away anytime soon, as there is a lot of money to be made in schedule-filling exhibition games against no-name opposition. Fortunately, other annoying problems specific to college football are being remedied, most notably the elimination of the BCS rankings in favor of a four-team

playoff beginning in 2014. This is a change long overdue, and hopefully it will prevent the abuses and conflicts of interest that have plagued the current system. Boise State-style overachievers will have a broader opportunity to compete for a national title, and any step in that direction is progress. There is still a great amount of unsightly wrangling over bowl sites and procedures, but a selection committee is in the works and real, indisputable progress is being made. Hopefully the NCAA will take over college football’s upper echelon sometime soon; until then, a four-team playoff is the best we are likely to get. The Broncos have begun the Peyton Manning era with mixed but generally positive returns. Despite a poor first half against the Falcons, Manning has been solid overall, and is not too far off of his pre-injury form. Given the overall weakness of the AFC, the Broncos have to be considered serious Super Bowl contenders, as only the Patriots, Ravens, and Texans have shown any flashes of greatness this season—and Baltimore and New England just suffered bad losses. Denver should cruise to the AFC West crown, and a playoff bye is not out of reach. The future is bright indeed at Mile High.

Volleyball tours RMAC

the 61st minute. This would prove to be the game winner as shot after shot by Mines missed its target. The Lady Orediggers had their best chances to tie the score up in the final ten minutes when a few Roadrunner fouls gave the Orediggers the majority of the possession. Mines’ final chance came on a free kick by Woodworth from just outside the penalty box. Her initial attempt hit the wall and after collecting her own rebound, her final shot just missed wide right as the clock expired. On the night, the Lady Orediggers outshot the Roadrunners 11-5 but simply could not find the back of the net. With her goal, Evans now has six on the year, which is tied for the team lead and third most in the RMAC. Woodworth recorded her fifth assist of the year in the contest as well. The Lady Orediggers now head on a three game road trip before returning to the CSM Soccer Stadium October 5 when they will host Regis University.

Tyler Cooper Staff Writer
Metro State came into the game ranked number ten in the nation having won three games in a row, but stood no match against No. 23 Mines. The Orediggers pulled the upset at home in front of a crowd of 620 people, winning 25-13, 20-25, 25-22, and 25-23 in a tightly fought match to improve to 7-4 overall and 2-1 in the RMAC. Melanie Wannamaker led the team recording 17 kills while hitting .600 followed by Jackie Stabell with 13 kills on the night. In a game where mines hit .159 as a team, Metro’s mistakes proved to be the difference, as the Roadrunners committed a total of 11 service errors and four service receive errors over the course of the game. Meanwhile, freshman Danielle Johnson-Hazlewood recorded a career high 47 assists in the match.

Mines is narrowly edged out by New Mexico Highlands 37-42
Trevor Crane Content Manager
For the second straight year, the New Mexico Highlands University Cowboys spoiled No. 18 Mines’ undefeated record as NMHU outlasted the Orediggers 42-37 in an offensive shootout Saturday in Las Vegas, New Mexico. In a bit of foreshadowing, the game began with a bang, as less than two minutes into the contest, NMHU running back Vincent Venegas broke free for a 76-yard touchdown run. Mines would respond with an 11-play, 80-yard drive on the next possession to tie the game with a Matt Brown quarterback sneak. The two teams would trade punches for the rest of the first quarter to push the score to 14-14. Turnovers plagued the Orediggers throughout the game. The Cowboys forced four Mines turnovers and outscored the Orediggers 21-3 in points-off-turnovers, all of which occurred in a critical stretch at the end of the first quarter and beginning of the second. Tied at 14 apiece with 1:44 left in the first quarter, The Orediggers received the ball and looked primed to take their first lead of the game. But in a crippling series of events, Mines would turn the ball over on three of their next four drives, each one resulting in a Cowboy touchdown. The Orediggers did score a touchdown on their other drive, but the damage had been done, and a furious comeback was needed to salvage the perfect season. With the high-powered Oredigger offense, it nearly looked as if Mines was going to erase their four turnover blemish. Trailing 42-24 partway into the fourth quarter, Brown began slinging the ball, finding senior receiver Jerrod Doucet for a 7-yard touchdown to cut the lead to 42-31. After the defense forced a Cowboy punt, Brown and the offense found themselves down 11 with 4:14 left to play. Brown quickly moved the Orediggers down the field in six plays, culminating in a Cody Renken 13yard touchdown reception. A failed two-point conversion left the score at 42-37 with 3:06 remaining. The defense once again forced a punt, and what looked like a sure defeat was beginning to show glimpses of “TebowTime.” Mines was pinned down at their own 7-yard line with just over a minute to play when Brown found Renken for 41 yards to put the Orediggers at near midfield. Unfortunately for the Orediggers, that was as close as they would get. Mines would reach as far as the NMHU 43 before turning the ball over on downs and sealing the 42-37 win for the Cowboys. For Mines, the loss marked the second straight season that NMHU has put a blemish in their undefeated record. In 2011, the Cowboys outlasted the Orediggers in similar fashion, holding on for a 40-34 win. It would prove to be one of only three losses the Orediggers would suffer on the year. What may be easily lost in Mines’ first defeat of the season would be the sheer magnitude of the offense displayed. Both teams combined for a total of 1202 offensive yards. In comparison, in LSU’s defensive 12-10 win over Auburn, the two teams combined for only 534 yards of total offense and Boise State and BYU combined for only 441 in an ugly 7-6 Broncos win. Between Mines and NMHU, 11 offensive touchdowns were scored (Boise and BYU had one) with eight passing touchdowns and three rushing touchdowns. For the Orediggers, Brown attempted an unheard-of 80 passes (Boise and BYU combined for only 45). He completed 52 of those passes for 601 yards, breaking David Pesek’s previous school record (509) by nearly 100 yards. With that incredible number of passes, Mines had three receivers with at least 12 catches and 120 yards as Doucet finished with 15 receptions for 172 yards, Renken had 12 for 145 and David Pawelek had 12 for 120. Mines (3-1 overall, 1-1 RMAC) continues their season with a Homecoming game Saturday against Western New Mexico at 12 p.m.

The Lady Orediggers followed up their dominating win Friday with a win Saturday over No. 18 Regis University, winning 25-13, 25-23, 20-25, and 25-10. Jackie Stabell recorded 19 kills in the match to lead the team with 32 kills over the twomatch weekend. With an impressive defense, Mines recorded two solo blocks and 20 block assists as a team, jumping out to a 2-0 lead in the match. After Regis won the third set, the team responded with an emphatic 15-point fourth game win. On the defensive end, Sarah Pekarak had 16 digs and Hannah Margheim 14 digs in holding Regis to .077 hitting percentage for the match. With both wins, Mines improved to 8-4 overall and 3-1 in the RMAC. Mines resumes their homestand Tuesday night at 6 p.m. against South Dakota School of Mines on “Professor Night” before heading out to face Black Hills State and Chadron State on the road.

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september 24, 2012

Jared Riemer Staff Writer

Geek Week
of the
made fun of me for it because they said it was an essential part of childhood that I missed out on. Why did you choose mechanical engineering as a major? I picked mechanical because it offered the greatest variety and the broadest spectrum of career paths. And it will be a good way to build an engineering and science background for my future. What kind of activities are you involved in outside of school? I’m an officer in the Kayak Club, I do safety boating and that kind of stuff to get people involved in the club. I tutor at the high school and am starting this semester to tutor at the middle school. I am a member of SWE, SHPE which is the Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers, and I’m a member of Tau Beta Pi, which is the engineering honors society. What do you like to do for fun? I like kayaking and doing outdoor activities. I enjoy trying new outdoor sports, and over the last year I’ve learned how to ski, kayak, and rock climb. I also enjoy tutoring middle school and high school kids, along

f e a t u r e s

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...Jeryl Sandoval, Junior: Mechanical Engineer
numbers, and be able to predict the stressed out. future using mathematical solutions, What are your future plans? and just be able to visualize the anI want to go to grad school. swer in my head without having to Hopefully at one the California write it down. schools like Stanford or Berkeley. I If you could be an animal want to study bioengineering and what would it be? how to use biological solutions to Well if I were an animal, I’ve been solve technical problems. told I would be a squirJARED RIEMER / OREDIGGER rel because I was told by “Earthy Ma” on Pearl Street that my spirit animal is a squirrel (laughs). But I would want to be a dolphin because I like to swim and because they are crazy smart. What advice would you offer students reading this? Make sure you find ways to have fun. It is important to balance school with extracurricular activities like volunteering or sports or clubs. It is just important to do something besides school and to Sandoval enjoys kayaking, modern make time to have fun physics, and Yoda. to keep from getting too

It is that wonderful time of year when most Orediggers have begun their first run of tests and their grades begin to fall like the leaves off of the trees. In the midst of this chaos, “The Oredigger” caught up with junior mechanical engineer Jeryl Sandoval, who shared why she still enjoys this school and all of its geeky ways. What has been your favorite class and why? Modern physics, because it was interesting and it was cool to figure out how to comprehend / understand something you can’t really see happening, but know it is because of physics. I also really enjoyed all of my math classes, especially Differential Equations and Calc 3. What makes you a geek? I love Yoda. I have a Yoda stuffed animal and think he is awesome. Also when my boyfriend and I were doing C++ homework, he kept saying “char” for character but all I could think of was Charizard (laughs). Also I didn’t learn how to ride my bike until last year and a lot of my friends

with reading and yoga when I’m not using my brain for school. What is you favorite thing about Mines? I like the fact that you can walk around campus and hear extremely nerdy conversations and it’s just the norm. I also love watching humans vs. zombies. Last year I saw some kid jump over the bush to avoid being “eaten” by the zombies, it was pretty funny. What is your least favorite thing about Mines? Leading up to a test, the whole experience is just way too stressful and having multiple tests in the same week or on the same day is just terrible. What is the nerdiest thing you’ve seen at mines? One time, my boyfriend and his roommates were all sitting around playing and discussing old school Pokémon games on their smart phones. Also the humans vs. zombies game on campus gets pretty nerdy; some of the kids get real into it. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? The ability to be like the guy from

The Knight, the Seer, and the Child Cassandra
Nicole Johnson Staff Writer
The child’s wailing cries pierced the silence of the dense forest. Above the thick canopy, several beams of moonlight barely illuminated the path before the cloaked figure running from the palace. She clutched her daughter tightly against her chest, praying the cries would be stifled. Every crunch of the dried leaves under her thick leather boots matched the pounding of her heart in her ears. One hand retrieved the dagger from her belt and hugged her daughter close. She would rather see her child dead than in the hands of what lay behind them. Shadows made no noise but Cassandra could feel the hunger emanating from every shadow. A layer of sweat beaded along her neck, making her shiver against the crisp evening air. Smells of salt water and damp soil filled her nose, masking the faint smell of death that followed the creatures. As if her fear could summon them, Cassandra felt her spine tingle and for a second she thought she saw something dart at the edge of her vision. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and forced herself not to look. “Mommy?” Cassandra forced her best smile, biting against the tears building around her eyes. She pushed back the black hood covering her face and used a hand to smooth back her daughter’s long white hair. “It’s ok, darling. Go back to sleep.” Suddenly the trees opened up and Cassandra stumbled out onto a beach. The waves gently slapped against the shore, crashing on a pile of nearby rocks. That’s when Cassandra heard a low hissing sound. “You will not get her,” she yelled into the darkness. “She is my daughter and you will not have her.” Torches lining the shore gave Cassandra some solace. As long as she remained in the light, her Miranda would be safe. Safe, that was, until the torches burned out. “My lady!” Cassandra squinted against the torch light and the looming darkness beyond that to see a large chestnut horse galloping down the beach. The rider threw back his hood and she began to cry. She was careful to remain within the torchlight as she ran to meet the horse. The rider dismounted and welcomed her into his arms. Cassandra shivered from the ocean breeze and the cold metal against her cheek. She placed her dagger back into its place at her belt and threw one arm around his neck. “Sir Caldon, you’re here.” He pushed away and pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment. “You summoned me here, my Queen.” He eyed the bundled up child in her arms. “Why have you brought Miranda?” Cassandra clenched her jaw to try to stop the tears but they fell anyway. Sir Caldon pulled off a glove and wiped away the tears. “What is wrong, my Queen?” Cassandra chanced a look back to the forest. Her stomach reeled as if she were looking into the gaping jaws of death. Taking in a deep breath, she turned once more to Sir Caldon. “I must ask a great favor of you, my love.” “Of course,” he agreed without hesitation. He noticed Cassandra’s shoulders visibly relax. He wanted to comfort her but that first hug was probably too much already. She took in a shaky breath. “You must take Miranda far from here. The two of you will board the Silver Sky tonight and sail for the Goshken Forest. Go to one of the small farming villages near the Zukalan capital and keep her safe.” Sir Caldon’s hand flew to his sword. “Who has threatened you?” He paused and looked at her shoulders. “The King?” Cassandra’s eyes widened for a moment before looking down at her daughter. “I don’t want to know how you know but it’s not him. However, if he knew the truth of Miranda, I would fear him as well.” “The truth?” Sir Caldon looked down at the child. She had Cassandra’s lovely white hair with silver streaks that reminded him of a cascading waterfall. The child looked up at the two of them with deep sapphire eyes, which she wiped at with a small fist. She had her mother’s looks but, he soon realized, none of King Haron’s. “But you said...” “She is not yours, Sir Caldon, or my husband’s.” Before he could respond she held up a hand, “You are my most closest and most trusted knight so you know the story of the Dark God, Naonet.” At the mention of the name, a howling wind blew from the forest. Cassandra clutched her child tighter when she began to cry again. Sir Caldon stepped in between his Queen and the trees, which appeared darker than what was natural even at night. “Do you remember when my husband was sick and we were on the verge of being conquered?” Sir Caldon nodded. “The army my husband needed would not come soon enough and our allies were all gone. I swore I would do anything to keep my people safe from those like the Frey family. That’s when... he appeared. If I were to pay the price, my husband would get his army.” Sir Caldon remembered the day all those recruits showed up from out of the blue, proclaiming their strength and allegiance to the crown. The king’s guard were so outnumbered, they welcomed the new forces. Within weeks the three year war had come to an end. “I found some old prophecies buried at sea from beyond the time of the Great War. The goddesses foretold of a child born from the darkness, destined to release it and him onto the world. I won’t let my daughter be used like the child is in the prophecy. You must hide her. Ride far from this place where no one will find you. This is the task I ask of my most trusted knight, of my truest love.” Sir Caldon’s dark gray eyes softened. “How will his servants not find us?” “He is still weak and I am his link to this world. The farther she is from me, the less likely he’ll be able to find her. The Goshken Forest is the farthest you can get from the islands.” “Mommy,” the child burrowed into Cassandra’s dress. “Please, Sir Caldon.” “Of course, my Queen. My mission is but to serve you.” “Come the dawn,” Cassandra’s voice squeaked from the threat of more tears. “I’ll have to report the two of you missing. Someone will have broken in and taken Miranda, killing you on their way out. You won’t be able to come back and I’m so so sorry.” She broke into a series of apologies to both Miranda and Sir Caldon. Sir Caldon tipped Cassandra’s chin up and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. It almost made her sad knowing she would never be tickled by the slight stubble he could never manage to be rid of. “I will keep her safe for as long as I live. I swear it on my honor as your knight.” Cassanda placed a soft kiss on Miranda’s forehead as she handed her to Sir Caldon. The child began to squirm and reached out for Cassandra. Cassandra drew in a shaky breath and kissed Sir Caldon’s cheek. “Quick Winds and Smooth Sails, Sir Caldon.” Sir Caldon nodded before heading back to his horse. Miranda’s cries grew louder under she was wailing for her mother, reaching out for her as Sir Caldon spurred his horse towards the distant shipyard. Cassandra turned back to the forest. “You’ll never have her. Tell him that. He’ll never have her.” As a small breeze blew through her hair, Cassandra thought she could hear a high pitched shriek and hiss coming from the trees themselves. Without taking her gaze off the forest, she reached out for a torch. She froze when she heard something hiss and saw the darkness dart from one tree to another. If she squinted hard enough, she thought she could see a pair of glowing red eyes. The shape moved forward ever so slightly. This time when it hissed, Cassandra caught a glimpse of razor sharp teeth and a tongue that licked them clean. “You will not have her,” she repeated to herself. She thought about the letter she had left on her husband’s bedside table. She wondered if he would mourn her or simply replace her like she had for his first wife. It didn’t matter, though, for as long as Caldon and Miranda would be safe. “I am the link, not her.” She tightened her grip on the torch and slid it out of its holder. The warmth of the flames licked her skin, giving her a sense of strength. She strode towards the creatures, torch in hand. In that prophecy one phrase was written over and over. Burn them. The creature watched her movements and tried to run, but it was too late. She tossed the torch next to the puddle of fuel she had drenched the area in near sunset, a mere few hours past. While the creatures howled inside the flames, Cassandra watched the inferno grow until it filled the sky and walked into the blaze.

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Question: Last Friday, people all over the United States were beginning to get the new iPhone. Is it worth the investment? -MT Answer: By the end of September 12, the date of the iPhone release, most of the western world had heard the details of the iPhone 5. Aesthetically, it was pretty much identical to the 4 and the 4s, Apple just decided to add a larger screen, a better camera, and faster processing on the phone. For the release price of $199, it is comparably priced compared to the release of the other iPhones, but that is still a considerable amount to spend if you already have the 4s. The incremental upgrades may not be worth $200 for just being able to have another inch of screen space, being able to do panoramic photos, and open apps a fractions of a second faster. However, public response was very positive. One would think that

I have a problem...

Dear Tex,

o p i n i o n / s a t i r e

september 24, 2012

Study Break
country. Ultimately, the investment will only be worth it if you feel like the iPhone can do $200 worth of things that your phone cannot, or if you feel that you will get $200 worth of attention if you’re one of the trend-follower investors. I am sincerely disappointed that Apple has not developed some ground-breaking technology. I feel like a hologram Siri, a nuclear powered battery, and a 3D camera were well within their reach and they failed to capitalize on their opportunity. Maybe next time, Apple, but until then, continue to reap the rewards of incremental changes in products coinciding with an unparalleled increase in share price.

this could be just California hipsters and trend-followers hopping on the bandwagon, hoping to be seen tweeting on their new phone at the next granola and soy festival. However, the financial market responded positively as well. The release pushed Apple’s share price above $700 for the first time ever (just for reference, last year at this time it was about $400). So it was not just the people trying to be seen with the iPhone that were following Apple closely. Apple also sold out of their entire stock within the first hour or so of the release, leaving the rest of America waiting on a cargo ship from China. Needless to say, the United States is an iPhone addicted

Across 2. Object 7. Fitting 8. Contemptible 9. Former Man. Utd. player, joined Lazio in 2001 12. Carry 13. Sweetened porridge 15. Carousel 16. Likewise 17. Hiker’s hold-all 20. Ewan ---, Billy in Little Voice (1998) 21. Leg it 22. Prone to uncertainty

Down 1. Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca 2. Acronym applied to radio comedy series of 1930s/40s 3. Combine by way of x 4. Take the plunge 5. Uncalled-for 6. Looking good when snapped 10. Bedside device 11. US actor, real name Laszlo Lowestein 14. Name given to Castor and Pollux 17. Fury 18. Skew-whiff 19. Variety

Slate spoons found to be “too big”, according to students
Josh Kleitsch Dude That Abides
dents at the dining hall, investigative reporter Yeshua DeGleitsch found one individual that was Recent polls at the Colorado willing to comment on the various School of Mines Slate Cafe indi- goings-on within the Slate. For cated that the average student safety, this individual will hereby thinks that the spoons in the din- be known as Nocinent Standing hall are “too big,” and should byer. DeGleitsch met with Standbyer in an undisclosed location to be traded out for smaller ones. Since Sodexo took over as the discuss the situation in the Slate, and the food service pro“I was going through the line f o l l o w i n g is what vider for getting my food when one of transpired. the Mines Standcampus, m a n y the bananas got up and said ‘I byer said, “It’s prob“foods” am a banana!’ right to me!” ably not h a v e safe for me changed. Director of food services Mr. Ar- to tell you this, but I think one of turo Biscotti commented on the the new guys with Sodexo has changes when asked about the some sort of otherworldly power. poll results. Biscotti said, “I can I mean, when he comes into the not comment on the changes Slate to serve food, you just get made to the silverware in the the sense that he could pop your Slate Cafe, because it is beyond ear lobes without even touching you.” Standbyer continued, “He my control. Do not misunderstand me doesn’t seem dangerous, you when I say this – the silverware is just get a bad feeling, you know? possesed. In fact, many things in What’s really weird is the effect the Slate Cafe have begun to ex- he has on the silverware and the hibit strange behavior recently.” fruits. Just last week I was eatWhen pressed further, Biscotti ing some corn flakes for breakfast seemed agitated and uneasy, when my spoon literally got bigand refused to say more about ger in my hand. My friends think I’m crazy, but I know what I saw. the situation. After speaking with many stu- It got bigger.” DeGleitsch pushed Standbyer further, and found out that the other students noticed that the spoons were all bigger, but everyone else just seemed to think that Sodexo just switched out the old spoons for bigger ones. Standyber said, “They didn’t switch them out, I swear. The spoons got bigger. You know what else? That wasn’t even the strangest thing that happened. I was going through the line getting my food when one of the bananas got up and said ‘I am a banana!’ right to me! It freaked me out, let me tell you.” The Sodexo employee identified by Standbyer was approached for an interview, but declined on the pretense that it would be “against his religion” to speak on any matters pertaining to what he may or may not be doing to the spoons and bananas in Slate Cafe. In light of the recent developments surrounding the Slate Cafe, the associate dean of students is officially recommending that all students eat at Starbucks in the west wing of Brown Building from now until the matters in the Slate Cafe are resolved. Any new developments will be reported in “The Oredigger” newspaper as they surface.

HELP WANTED!

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