Once Innocent: Cries Unheard

Copyright © 2012 by April Bartaszewicz.

ISBN:          Softcover                                 978-1-4797-4825-9

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4797-4826-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The names in this book have been changed in order to maintain the dignity

and privacy of others. This book is based on the child’s life from birth to 11.

The second part of this book will be based on the child’s life from ages 11 to 18.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

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Contents

Chapter 1      Flight for Life

Chapter 2      The Molestation

Chapter 3      Safe Haven

Chapter 4      The Man I Never Knew

Chapter 5      Justice Denied!

Acknowledgement

I have a few people to thank for helping guide me through this book. I thank my family for the love, support, and understanding throughout the process of this book being written. You all made it less difficult.

Thank you to a special friend for the encouragement, inspiration, devotion, respect, and support. You were there throughout my writing and you pulled me back up from a bad situation. You believed in me and encouraged me to go for it and reach my goals. I could not have done it without your support.

I thank my dearest and best friend. You showed love and support throughout this book. You helped me edit and proofread my book. You took the time to be there when all else failed.

Thank you, Kim for supporting me and waiting patiently while writing this book. Your support has been my inspiration. Thank you, Kim for believing in me.

A special thank you, to my daughter Zelda, who has inspired me with her imagination and words. You have been my biggest inspiration and my biggest friend. I love you my sweet girl.

Chapter 1

Flight for Life

January 28, 1981, Rosenberg Texas 8:30 that morning was the beginning of my fight for life. I was three months premature and weighed in at three pounds, one ounce. The doctors feared that I might not have a chance of survival, but Mother was sure I would survive.

Doctor, Mother said, I know my daughter will survive she is a fighter.

The doctor feared that I might not have a chance of survival, but my mother was sure that I would survive.

Mrs. Highlander, you need to realize your daughter was born three months too early. She is underweight and cannot breathe on her own. Mrs. Highlander, I do not want to see you suffer so I am going to be as honest as I possibly can. There is a chance April may not survive. We all need to be ready for when that happens.

The doctor walked away. Mother sat on the edge of the bed, with tears in her eyes she looked up towards the ceiling and said, Please God, don’t take my baby away from me.

She sat in silence and began rocking back and forth thinking about what the doctor told her and how she was going to tell the rest of the family that I might die.

Mother choked back her tears, stood up and to herself she said, My baby has to survive, she just has to live, she cannot die. Mother sat in a rocking chair, next to me, and held my hand.

April, you have to wake up for mommy, Mother said as she began to cry.

She held my hand for hours and then went back to her room. She sat on the bed in the room and cried. She believed I would survive, but deep down, she felt as if the doctors were right. She felt I was going to die. Just then, the nurse came into Mother’s room and told her she had a visitor. Mother looked up and saw the nurse holding me.

The doctor thought you might want to hold your little girl, she said to Mother.

Mother held me for hours. Suddenly I opened my eyes. Mother, she was excited to see me with my eyes opened. She smiled for a while. Suddenly a nurse took me out of Mother’s arms and headed for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where I was kept for observations.

Doctor Hershey told Mother I was not out of danger yet, I would have to make it through a couple of nights before I would be released to go home. Mother did not rest all the while she was in the hospital; she spent most of her time worrying about my condition and me.

Every few hours, Mother went down to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, sat by my side, and cried her silent tears. She was so devastated to see me the way I was.

After a long day, Mother felt herself getting tired so she asked the nurse to take good care of me while she rested a bit.

Of course, Mrs. Highlander, I will take care of your baby, the nurse told Mother as she headed back to her room to sleep.

She lay on the bed as her head hit the pillow she was fast asleep. The doctor was just about to let Mother know that it was okay for her to come and see me for visitation time.

At that moment, Doctor Hershey’s heart sank as the nurses from Neonatal Intensive Care Unit called code blue. Doctor Hershey made his way down to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to the nurses; he closed all the doors and tended to my needs. He did everything he could to save my life. Finally, I was stabilized. He left the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and headed towards Mother’s room. He sat next to Mother while she slept.

I don’t want to do this to this woman. She just had this little baby and now, the baby is going to die. I don’t want to see this woman cry, he thought to himself as he waited for Mother to wake up.

Mother started stirring and opened her eyes and there he was the doctor who told her that her baby might not survive.

What’s wrong? Mother asked as the doctor sat there frowning.

Doctor Hershey stared at Mother. Mother could see he was trying not to cry as he looked towards Mother took a deep breath and said, Mrs. Highlander, April took a turn for the worst. She stopped breathing. Code blue had to be called and April is now on a ventilator. A machine is breathing for your daughter. Her breathing is stable now, but she is going to be here for quite a while for observation. Mrs. Highlander you may stay with your daughter, but just so, you know it is going to be rough for both you and April.

The doctor left the room. Mother sat next to me and cried. My Father arrived at the hospital to take Mother and me home.

Donahue, Mother said as she cried, April cannot go home, she needs to stay here. The doctors’ had to call code blue. April cannot breathe on her own. The doctors put her on a machine that is breathing for her.

Fine, Father said as he headed out the door. Father did not ask if he could see me. He didn’t even hold me to see if I was okay. He just wanted to go home.

April, daddy will be back, Mother told me while holding my hand and crying.

Later that day Mother told the nurse, she wanted to go and get something to eat from the cafeteria and she would return.

Please come and get me if there is any change, she said to the nurse and left. Mother made her way to the cafeteria. She sat there heartbroken and in fear, I was going die.

Doctor Hershey came into the cafeteria and ordered two lunches sat next to Mother and said, I thought we both could use some lunch.

Mother was silent. She sat there with tears in her eyes. She frowned at the doctor while crying and said, Doctor Hershey, please do not let my baby die. You have to save her! You have to save April!

Mrs. Highlander, Doctor Hershey said, I will do anything I possibly can to save your daughter I promise."

He started eating again. I would advise you to eat something Mrs. Highlander. You are going to need your strength. I cannot have a weak Mother and baby on my hands.

Mother slowly started eating. Suddenly, a nurse came rushing into the cafeteria, passing two other doctors made her way over to Doctor Hershey and said, Doctor Hershey, you have to come quick, its… its April… there is something wrong with April.

Before Mother could stand up the doctor ran out of the cafeteria, down the hallway, and right to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The Doctor called for a crash cart and started doing CPR on me. He was so determined to save me he was willing to do whatever it takes.

Doctor Hershey, Mrs. Highlander is running up the hallway, a nurse shouted.

Stall her! Stall her! Do you hear? The Doctor yelled, For God, sake just stall her. Do whatever you can, but keep that woman out of here. I don’t need her breaking down on me."

The nurse ran out of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and took off running she met Mother half way down the hallway took Mother into a different room and kept her there. The nurse could tell that Mother was scared.

What are you doing? Mother shouted at the nurse while on her knees crying.

The doctor asked me to have you wait here until he can come and speak with you, the nurse explained as she tried to keep Mother calm.

Mother sat there impatiently waiting for the doctor to talk with her. Doctor Hershey finished ending to me and left the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to find Mother. He soon walked into the room Mother had been waiting in.

Your daughter was having difficulties with her heart. She is stable now. You may go and see your baby.

Mother jumped up from the chair ran down the hallway and into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. When she got there, she noticed that I had an oxygen mask on my face.

What is this thing doing on her face? Mother asked the nurse.

Mrs. Highlander, the doctor said, I had to put the mask on her face so she could have some oxygen.

Oh okay, Mother replied as she sat there with me.

Every day that I had to be on the oxygen in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit was a nightmare for Mother.

All that waiting and not knowing if I was going to live or die was devastating for Mother. She felt as if she was helpless and alone. Her belief in my survival started to fade. She was at a loss and didn’t know anymore whether to believe in me or give up on me.

Please don’t let go April, I love you and the rest of the family can’t wait to see you. You hang in there my sweet baby and do not die on me. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. You have to be okay for me. April I love you, Mother said to me as she held my hand and sat by my side. The nurses overheard Mother speaking to me and they began to cry.

Mrs. Highlander sure has a lot of hope, faith, and love for her baby girl, but now, only time will tell. Doctor Hershey said to his nurses as they all stood there watching Mother.

Doctor Hershey’s boss Leon arrived at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and checked on me. He sat and watched Mother for a while.

"Mrs. Highlander, I am Leon, Doctor Hershey’s boss. I wanted to let you know, we are doing everything we possibly can to save your little girl. If there is