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Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment Ltd.

High Poking Farm

Hopping Brook

Ilkley, Yorkshire, BD32 2QF


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Taking advantage of the recent reforms of UK sexual conduct laws and leveraging synergies with European Union
Agricultural Diversification Grants and Human Rights Legislation Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment (MAAI) will
offer a high-end quality animal experience for adults. Taking the “petting zoo” concept and updating it for a
modern, sophisticated urban elite who really want to “get back to nature” MAAI will offer an a chance for
discerning adults to witness animal copulation in a live, cabaret style environment whilst also enjoying quality food
and drink. This is only the tip of the iceberg however as MAAI will also offer special services allowing selected
guests, on the payment of large sums of money, to engage in sexual activities with the animals of their choice
either alone or with other guests. MAAI will provide the necessary discreet and sophisticated facilities for adults to
enjoy nature’s simple pleasures in sumptuous, safe and comfortable surroundings with the best trained animals in
the UK. My role in the organization will initially be that of general manager, moving to a more oversight and future
planning role as the company matures.

MISSION STATEMENT: To be the pre-eminent and preferred supplier of Adult Animal Entertainment in the

COMPANY GOALS AND OB JECTIVES: Within two years, by 2009, Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment aim to
be the largest supplier of animal sexual services in the north of England and by 2012 the largest in the UK with a
view to expansion into continental Europe and America. MAAI have an objective of breaking into profit by 2010
and making an initial public offering (IPO) of stock by 2012 with gross operating profits of £5,000,000 by this time.
We aim to be consistently rated in the top 3 Sexual Entertainment venues by 2010 and the top 5 tourist attractions
in Yorkshire by the same year.

BUSINESS PHILOSOPHY: We aim to be the best at what we do. The welfare of our animals is paramount as
happy animals mean happy clients. We aim to be an equal opportunity employer, employing the best animal and
human talent available and paying our staff a premium to retain loyalty. We aim to grow our customer base and
retain existing customers by offering new and novel animal experiences on a regular basis.

MARKETING STRATEGY: Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment’s target audience is the urban elites who have lost
touch with country life but are longing for a more “natural” and “unhurried” alternative to the stresses of modern
city living. Targeting these ABC1 groups our marketing strategy is for the rural packaged in easy “chunks”, clean
and convenient that can be picked up and put down as desired; an escape and a hint of dirt and mud and steamy
animal romps but just something for the weekend

WHY WE WILL SUCCEED: The Adult Entertainment business, although perhaps the oldest industry in the world,
is experiencing a renaissance in the UK with the liberalization of centuries old sexual laws forced through by the
European Union human rights regulations. At the same time small rural enterprises are dying out and people
leaving animal based jobs for city employment. Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment synergizes these aspects into
leveraging the best animal training and care talents which are readily and cheaply available and putting these
talents to work servicing the new growth opportunities afforded by the liberal sexual legislation now available in
the UK>

The company will initially be run as a Limited Company, incorporated in England and Wales, with Mrs. Ethel
Miggins as sole director.
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Our primary product is ostensibly the Restaurant and nightly animal copulation cabaret. Guests will arrive for
drinks in the cocktail lounge from 6pm onwards and proceed to their tables for 7.30. A total of 36 covers are
available seating 108 people. Estimated spend will be in the region of £180 per cover at 2007 prices.

The animal mating shows will commence at 8pm and continue through the service of dinner until 10pm with a
grand finale at 10.30 to 11.00 in which audience participation will be encouraged.

For those guests who desire to avail themselves of the special services on offer MIAA provides 20 bedrooms with
ground floor access all of which can easily accommodate 2 persons and 2 of the smaller farm animals (sheep,
goats, etc); 5 of the bedrooms can accommodate our larger animals (cows, bulls, horses, etc) and come complete
with mating frames allowing the male animals to mount humans safely. Additionally there are 8 heated byres and
stables accommodating 2 or 3 larger animals plus up to 4 humans and equipped with swings, buckets, ladders and
custard. Finally we are able to make available the “orgy barn” which again is fully heated and air conditioned and
features a small swimming pool plus mounting frames, cattle chutes, farrowing crates and a boar trebuchet.

In case of any of our guests getting into difficulty MAAI will have at least one vet, one doctor and a specialist in
emergency bowel re-sectioning surgery on hand at all times.

For guests staying overnight a full English breakfast will be served in the cabaret lounge.

An initial scale of charges for “Special Services” will be:

Charge (per animal
per night)
Male Female
Dog 50 70
Goat 80 50
Sheep 80 50
Cow 250 150
Horse 500 200
Llama 500 350
Lion 1500 3000
Tiger 2250 3800

The above prices are for basic sexual congress with the animal of choice. Additional services such as the presence
of a trained handler, additional buckets for standing on, hire of the love swing etc will be additionally levied and
charged directly to the client’s credit card on departure. Costs vary between £10.00 for bucket extensions up to
£350.00 for an experienced trainer who will get the animal of choice to throw lard at your privates during the act.
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We estimate from studies by Hani Miteltski and the classic study by Kinsey that approximately 14% of all adults
(16% of males, 12% of females) have had some form of animal sexual encounter in their lives; comparison of the
Kinsey (1958) and Miteltski (2003) studies show that such activity has declined over the past 60 years by
approximately 10 % due predominantly to the lack of sexual access to animals by an increasingly urbanized

This is our initial target audience as our market research has shown that these individuals will pay to gain access
for sexual congress with their chosen preferred species up to twice a week. However our pricing reflects our
desire to attract the high end “A” and “B” socio-economic groups in a integrated intuitive vortex strategy. A further
plan for a “budget” offering for the C2 and D market along the lines of a budget airline could be spun off from the
main business at a later date.

When the figures for people who have fantasized about sex with animals are taken into account the figures rise
dramatically to 62% of men and a staggering 86% of women (Keefer and Sutherland, 2002). This is a key target
objective for MAAI and even if we aim to convert only 10% of fantasists into one time “zoo curious” customers and
then 30% of these into long term prospects we would have a client base of 180,500 individuals from our
immediate 50 mile catchment area alone; enough people to populate the town of Rochdale three times over!

Obviously when such figures become common knowledge imitators to the Miggins Adult Animal Entertainment
concept will arise but we aim to have become fully established and known as the premier venue for beastly nookie
and therefore we expect to capture and retain fully 35% of the A, B, C1 market in the UK, some 450,000 people
who we expect to visit us at least 3 times a year.

Current demand in target market.


As stated earlier in the plan our demographics are among the urban elites in the A and B and partly C1 socio-
economic group. Our market research conducted in 6 towns and cities in the North of the UK (Leeds, Manchester,
Ilkley, Sheffield, Burnley and Skipton) further breaks the demographics down as follows


10 Managerial
15 Skilled Clerical


Student /
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Sex and orientation

Male Heterosexual
1% Male Homosexual
5% 9% 4% Male Bisexual
Male Omnisexual

23% Male Zoosexual
12% Female Heterosexual
8% 6%
Female Homosexual
Female Bisexual

2% Female Omnisexual
Female Zoosexual

Median Income

6% 1-16,000
14% 14%
16,001 - 25,000
25,001 - 35,000
26% 35,001 - 50,000
50,001 - 75,000
75,000 - 100,000
> 100,000
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Our financial plan is laid out below

Projected Return Cash Flows on Operating Profits
(£ thousands)
2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016

Restaurant and Bar 35.6 77.2 98.6 133.5 165.0 196.5 228.0 230.4 233.2

Cabaret 11.2 14.8 19.8 23.9 28.2 32.5 36.8 41.1 45.4

Accommodation 3.4 7.9 12.7 17.3 22.0 26.6 31.3 35.9 40.6

Special Services 180.1 300.8 600.3 780.6 990.7 1200.8 1410.9 1621.0 1831.1

Fixed and Amortizable costs:

2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016
Purchasing stock 105 50 40 30 20 20 20 20 20
Veternary Fees 100 120 130 133 136 139 142 145 148
Performance Licences 15 0 0 0 0 20 0 0 0
Feed 16 18 22 25 28 31 34 37 40
Fluffer hire 5 5 5 6 6 7 7 8 8
Lubrication and Servicing 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26
Burstage and losses 3 4 4 5 5 6 7 8

Projected income per species per year

2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016
Dog 11.4 12.7 14.8 30.7 45.8 70.4 102.6 120.2 130.4
Goat 22 50 100 200 250 280 310 320 325
Sheep 40 45 50 55 60 62 63 64 64
Cow 5 12 30 50.5 70.2 86.1 95.3 102.4 120.5
Horse 82.2 103.5 150.7 180.6 214.9 249.1 283.4 317.6 351.9
Llama 35.2 55.3 90.2 160.2 206.8 259.3 311.7 364.2 416.6
Lion 33.3 66.6 160.6 270.8 390.2 447.2 490.3
Tiger 10.1 20.2 30.9 51.2 89.2 145.3 220.7

(NB: Big cats to come on-stream in 2010 pending legal changes in licensing regime for dangerous wild animals)