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Water Trash By Eric Skala

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT The last of the movie-goers exit the theater out onto the curb. ERIC, JILL, and DARRYL are the last to come through the doors. They are in heated discussion, but half-laughing. DARRYL I dont think you realize what you are saying, because if Trent took the secret codes, then the communists won, and you are supporting communism. ERIC I see where you are coming from, and I know that communism is pretty taboo around here -JILL "Around here" meaning "anywhere in America." ERIC -- But it doesnt matter what title you put on it, it was the right thing to do. DARRYL I cant help but think we were watching two different movies in there. ERIC If stealing the codes make the country a better place and it makes the people more equal with each other, how is that a bad thing? DARRYL You are describing communism! You are describing a system that does not work and you are supporting it right here! JILL Dont you have vodka to be making, comrade? ERIC I stand by my stance guys, make fun of me all you want. Darryl laughs once more, then starts to head his own way.

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DARRYL Alright, whatever man, youre a communist, its clear now. He points behind him. DARRYL (CONTD) Im this way, so Ill see you guys around. JILL OK, see you tomorrow! DARRYL Eric, it was good to meet you. He extends his hand. Eric accepts it. ERIC Hey, same to you, Dwayne. Take care. They shake hands, but Darryl lingers for a moment. A short beat. DARRYL Alright, see you later. Darryl walks away. When hes out of earshot, Eric and Jill turn to each other. ERIC He was a nice guy. Cool dude. Jill sports a sarcastic and condescending undertone. JILL Yeah, you think so? ERIC Yeah, sure, I hope we hang out again. JILL Oh really? ERIC Totally. Yeah. JILL Do you know what kind of ass-hat you are right now?

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ERIC Whoa, what? Where is that coming from? JILL You have no idea what just happened. What a fool. ERIC No, I dont know whats happening, tell me what I did -JILL His name is Darryl. Darryl, you tree-sized clown, not Dwayne. Long beat. An anvil lands on Erics psyche. ERIC No. JILL Yeah. ERIC Shit. JILL Yeah. ERIC Shit. JILL You had the first letter, and then you just improvised the rest. ERIC Shit. Wow, youre kidding me. JILL I seriously wish I was. ERIC Shit. JILL It would be much better for you right now if I was joking even a little bit. But I am not.

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ERIC How did this happen. JILL You just embarrassed me in front of a co-worker. I have to go explain to him tomorrow what just happened here. ERIC What will you say? JILL I dunno, Ill probably say you were plastered drunk. Since thats the only excuse for your behavior. ERIC I am so sorry -JILL Youre "sorry?" "Sorry" doesnt turn a Dwayne into a Darryl. Eric is stupefied. ERIC Im not a good person. JILL No, youre not. That was a really shitty thing to do. ERIC I would have been better off slapping him in the face than call him by the wrong name. JILL You have never done anything worse. ERIC Youre right, I havent. JILL That one time you cut off that kid on his motorcycle? And he ran into that parked car? And you kept driving? Not as bad. ERIC Shit.

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CONTINUED: JILL Youve gotta make it up to him now. ERIC What am I gonna do, buy him a watch? JILL Thats a start. Maybe get him a Ferrari, too. ERIC I am water trash. JILL When you forget someones name, you are treating them like they are not a human being. ERIC I dont think that! I told you I liked that dude! JILL Why did you not give him this, simple, common courtesy of remembering his name? ERIC We talked for like half an hour in there, too. Hes a writer, and hes working on cool stuff... JILL You know more about him than most people on this entire Earth, but you called him Dwayne. ERIC This has happened before, you know. Jill stirs her head, flabbergasted. JILL How many times will you go lower than Hitler tonight? ERIC It was in college, I was introducing this group of people to a new friend of mine, but when I got to this girl Nicole, I just couldnt think of her name.

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JILL No.... Eric is on the brink of losing it. ERIC I just sat there, grasping at nothing in my mind, looking for her name -JILL You didnt say anything?! ERIC I just... sat there... thinking. JILL Were you dropped on your head as a child? Several times? And every day since then? ERIC I couldnt think of "Nicole," I couldnt even think of "N." There was nothing there. JILL But you made that up to her, right? ERIC I asked her out later. Didnt go well. JILL Thats a damn shame. Eric snaps to a realization. ERIC Wait, hold it, this is not entirely my fault. JILL I ultra doubt it. ERIC He didnt say anything. He walked away, accepting the "Dwayne." If he said OK to "Dwayne," then how am I to blame... for...?

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JILL No, youre still awful. ERIC Im still awful. JILL Youre bad people. ERIC Youre right. JILL I cant believe you would try to turn that around on Darryl. ERIC I just thought -JILL That was 100 percent you. Maybe more than that. 110 percent you. ERIC ...Yeah. Jill begins to exit. JILL Im going to go and make a series of phone calls, try and do some damage control on this. You should just, maybe, sell your possessions, hide under a bridge, something like that. ERIC Probably. JILL Because thats where you belong. Under a bridge. You should go and live in the same way you treat other people. ERIC Alright.... JILL Something worse than a troll.

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ERIC Alright. JILL A fat troll. With man-boobs. ERIC Alright already. JILL Flab boobs. She exits. Eric is left alone. Long beat, then: ERIC Shit. CUT TO BLACK

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