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Ravana Begins

The first really interesting event of Ravana's life occurred a long time ago before calendars and Jersey Shore. This is the story of how Ravana meets the god Brahma for the first time, excluding that cocktail party, which doesn't count. Rakshasas are very unique creatures; some rakshasas are very focused on fashion, some are very focused on conquest, and others are focused on both. Ravana fell a lot on the fashion side and a little on the conquest side on the good days. Style was the focus of Ravana’s life; though at this point, he was only concerned with personal style. He had one major problem with his personal style: his ten heads. Just because he was a rakshasa demon didn’t mean he couldn’t be stylish, and he planned to have a complete makeover: demon edition. The first thing that had to go was the ten heads. Later interpretations of his removal of his heads would leave out the main reason for it: fashion. He decided that as a statement he would cut off a head every thousand years and yell about how much it hurt for about nine hundred. He didn’t space it out that way on purpose; it just took that long for him to forget how much it hurt to cut off a head. Ten thousand years later there was apprehension about what Ravana would do; Ravana only wanted one head but everyone else didn’t realize that. Brahma had been watching Ravana over all these years and was almost certain that Ravana was going to cut off his last head. Unbeknownst to Brahma, Ravana was simply about to shave as he held a knife to his throat a thousand years after he had cut off his ninth head. He had quite a beard since he hadn’t shaved for five hundred years, and he decided that his beard was terribly out of fashion, though the moustache did look smashing. When Brahma decides he wants to bless you, it’s best not to ask questions and best not to point out that you are holding shaving cream for a reason. Ravana knew it was best to not ask Brahma for too much; he decided to consult his list of wishes he wanted granted. Ravana’s List of Wishes to Ask from Brahma, if Brahma Ever Happened to Ask Him* 1. To be the most fashionable creature in heaven, earth, under earth, on those other worlds, and in other places not specifically specified 2. Protection from Gods, Demons, saturated fat, pointed sticks, mountains, and terrorism 3. Protection from curses that impede abducting women 4. Protection from other curses and pointed sticks 5. Telemarketers and salesmen 6. Ravana wanted to not be too brash in his request so he went with number two on the list. Unfortunately, Brahma stopped listening after Gods and Demons, so Ravana got his wish and Brahma felt a bit silly after Ravana started shaving.Later Brahma would invest in earplugs so he wouldn’t have to listen to people complain about things; consequently, this also marks the shift of time to Kali Yuga, the really bad time. There is some similarity to Kali Yuga and the morning after consuming “trash can” punch. Comparatively Kali Yuga was much worse and affected more important things. With a flash, Brahma was gone and Ravana wasn’t quite sure if he had gotten his wish. He didn’t feel any different, so he did the only sensible thing he could: stabbed himself with a dagger. It hurt, and he wondered why the hell he had done that. When he took the knife out, the wound had magically healed, and Ravana patted himself on the back with three hands. Later Ravana would discover that fashion was more difficult then he wanted to admit and would then turn his hand to something he was magically good at because of his protection: conquest with a side of fashion in his free time. Ravana would go on to conquer a lot of interesting places and some boring ones. Eventually he would settle down and place his capital city on an island that no door-to-door salesman, Mormons, or Jehovah's Witnesses could ever reach. In his capital city of Sri Lanka, his

I make plenty of references and jokes to things Ravana should be worried about or should have at least tried to remember. Ravana is an absent-minded character in my rendition who likes fashion but is better at beating people into submission than anything else. in terms of fashion. a myth that in no way. as it were. Editing the story again helps a lot because I could cut out a lot of stuff that I brushed over the first time. and for good reason. even though telemarketers were not around yet. that has “molestache” written all over it.greatest triumph. *It should noted that Ravana put “pointed sticks” on his list twice. I also hope the footnote didn't confuse anyone. Thus the stage was set for Ravana to make his way into the history books. or. Ravana originally started cutting off heads because he wanted the “brilliance” or the equivalent of the treasure lord but I tweaked that some in this story. Brahma needed to get out more. or form does justice to Ravana. Websource: Shaving Author’s Note: This is the story I wrote a little ways back in the class but edited again and tweaked a bit for coherency. shape. I do regret not working Ravana’s black moustache into this story. If you are unfamiliar with my version of Ravana I hope this sets it up fairly well. I figured him receiving his protection from things was a good place to start. the * didn't show up very large even after I changed the size of it. and his greatest defeat would occur. he thought that’s what arrows were commonly referred to as. I had to tweak the story a little to make it flow more as the first story in the storybook about Ravana. I apologize for ripping off "Batman Begins" for the title but it was about as witty as I could think of off the top of my head. Brahma would have a hard time telling if this man was shaving or about to kill himself. I don't think I'm stretching the epics too far to come to that conclusion. Ravana had good foresight at this point in his life and knew that someday this would be useful. He also has horrible ideas and a bad memory. Number six is blank because Ravana got sidetracked and never finished the list. Secondly. . On a side note.