You are on page 1of 5


Frank found Bhattys exactly where Raj had said it would be, located about a hundred yards away from the tube station. It was a large and busy shop filled with mostly African and Asian customers. A million miles of gold and silver chains were displayed on mounted reels around the shop; so did stones of every description twinkle merrily, gaudily from dozens of racks scattered around the shop. Raj met Frank at the door and led him to an office located at the back. It was just a cubicle about four feet by six deep and much of the space occupied by a table. Come, come in and take a seat Raj suggested. Take a seat? This place is hardly large enough to swing a cat Frank joked. Raj did not look amused. Why do you want to swing a cat? he humorlessly inquired. Just my little joke; its a figure of speech; Frank waved it off. Raj still didnt appear to get it. My shop was burgled last week. Do you know anything about it? Raj asked. Frank was genuinely surprised. Why should I know anything about it? You are a detective, no? Of course I am a detective, not the god Buddha Very funny, very funny indeed Raj said; not laughing at all. Anything of value missing then? I am sure you called me here for a purpose, Frank asked. Yes, yes I was coming to that. Some men came into my shop carrying a television camera. They told me they were from BBC and making a program of my shop. Only they did not make a program. They went away with a lot of my money and jewelry I have seen this before; Frank laughed. Raj looked bewildered. You have seen it before? I ask if you if you know about the burglary and you say no. Now you have seen it before. What I mean is that I have seen this sort of trick done before. A bank was robbed in the same way and I was there in the bank You robbed a bank with a camera. How is that possible? I did not rob a bank with a camera; I saw some people rob the bank with a camera, in the same way, that your shop was robbed. Raj Desai now looked very much unimpressed with Frank; the ear-rings which Frank now wore lending more distrust.

I dont understand you at all; are you sure you are a detective? So you want me to recover your lost money and jewelry then. How much money was stolen? Never mind the money; after they went away, I looked for an important item and it was also missing. It is a lucky charm. They must have taken it away. So you want me to recover the lucky charm. What does it look like? Raj took out the empty velvet case. It now only contained an image which was printed on a small piece of parchment paper. It is called The Crooked Bullet, Raj said. The image did look like a curved bullet or a banana. Heck, to Frank it looked like a bent dick. It looks like a bent dick, he said. Bent dick, bent bullet; it does not matter. What it matters is that my life will suffer if I dont find that lucky charm again. My business is suffering already because of this. Yesterday I did not make many sales. I want you to find the lucky charm for me as soon as possible. Frank was not a great believer in superstition, but the money which this promised to bring his way, he quite loved. I charge a hundred pounds an hour, Frank told Raj. Raj looked at him for a long minute as if trying to read his mind and not succeeding. He took out a wooden case, opened it and brought out a medallion which dangled from a long chain. Look at this one. The stolen charm hangs also from a chain such as this Raj said, as he swung the medallion like a pendulum in front of Franks face. Frank was initially puzzled but in a moment found himself becoming hypnotized by the swinging medallion. Shaking his head to recover control, he stood and pushed. Raj fell against the wall, bounced off and fell upon the table. What the heck are you trying to do, you idiot? Frank asked. Very sorry, I was trying to find out if you are really a detective. I dont want to give money away to a fake detective, Raj uneasily tried to explain. Do I look anything like a fake detective to you? Frank growled. Raj nodded, silently. Think whatever you like; but this will cost you ten thousand pounds Frank said. To find your lost lucky charm will cost you ten thousand pounds. You guarantee to find it for me? It might take a bit of time, perhaps a couple of weeks; but I am able to find it How will you find it then? still very suspiciously. I am a detective. There are several ways to skin a cat. You do not like cats? Raj asked after a long minute.

Never mind; it is just a figure of speech. I mean there are several ways to arrive at the same result Ten thousand is a lot of money, no? Its a lot of work, Frank told him. The door opened and in stepped a young lady whom Frank thought had hostile thoughts for him immediately and for absolutely no reason. Ah Rupinder, come meet Mister Frank Wire; he is a private detective. Raj said to the lady. She nodded without a word. Frank offered his hand. Rupinder declined to shake. Private detective is going to help me find the missing charm. Raj explained. Rupinder remained silent; merely stared at Frank for along while as if trying to memorize his face. Okay daddy, just dropped in to say hello. See you later; she finally said before leaving. Raj sat again,; he took out a check book, wrote on it ; tore out a check for Frank. It was for two thousand pounds. Frank found himself fighting like crazy to contain his excitement. You get the rest when you find my lucky charm Raj said. Frank left Rajs office whistling, with the check in his hand and also with a photocopied image of the lost pendant. He thought had much to whistle about; twenty five hundred pounds earned in a week wasnt beans. Alone again in the office, Raj sadly and quietly bore the brunt of his deceased wifes scowl from the portrait on the wall. It was a scowl which at this time told him: See what you have done now Raj, I always said you were no good, didnt I? Now you have gone and lost the shops money and also got your lucky thing pinched. Shame on you, Raj. On the way back home, Frank stopped at a Sainsburys and bought himself two bottles of wine, a six pack of Guinness and half a dozen frozen Chinese dinners. He popped one of the frozen dinners in the microwave, cracked open a can of Guinness, and as he ate his chow mien he wondered how he would find Raj Desai's damned lucky charm. Trevor came to pick him up around ten at night. He had dozed off but was soon ready : he donned his favorite black bowler hat, a plain black t-shirt, the heavy neck chain and rings. And MCWire was ready to go. The gig that night was their regular Friday night engagement at Skeleton Screw club on Old Street. As usual, the equipment had been moved in by a guy named Heavy Dee; a surly Jamaican friend of Trevors and whom Frank didn't particularly like. Frank had to be cool with Heavy Dee nevertheless, because Heavy Dee owned the equipment. didn't know rhythm from risotto; but he tried desperately to learn nevertheless. Heavy Dee also desperately wanted to join up with them and Trevor had been sort of playing him along. Heavy Dee

Trevor had come in a new black BMW which looked out of this world. Nice ride you nick it?' Frank had joked. He had been quite thrown when Trevor told him that he in fact bought it. It really looked an expensive car and Frank would later check the going price on the Internet, and find that it did cost a fortune. Trevor indeed had a job at Newham Council offices, plus he had a little event promotion business on the side, so he could afford to make payments on a car, but a thirty thousand quid ride did seem a bit out of a reasonable income bracket. Frank had for a minute wondered if Trevor was dealing on the side, but dismissed the idea. Trevor was a clean cookie didnt smoke, didnt drink and was vegetarian. A smooth and moving piece was playing on the car stereo. It sounded like Herbie Hancock doing Barry White with a synthesized voice. He recognized the track from Ex-Mans new record. He would think again that despite the heavily electronic vocal, there persisted the feeling that the voice sounded familiar. But then why shouldnt it? Even Trevor was doing imitation at their gigs; so were a dozen other deejays around London and perhaps several hundreds around the world. Almost everyone in England now raved up on Ex-Man these days. Not that he had a style that was terribly unique. Only that the faceless musician had this knack of remixing seventies songs and adding a contemporary translation to them, to make them feel, so fresh. It wasnt only that, there was this x-ingredient that he did always infuse into the entire arrangement - like the secret ingredient in the druids recipe which made stars explode from inside the soup. Yes, Ex-Man did have the X-factor in his funky bag. The piece playing was in fact a re-do of Barry Whites Let The Music Play, with the thudding bass racing alongside the snare drums; above the entire arrangement , a smooth rap took firm control , while a rolling baritone voice urged from the background : Right on ---- Right on ---- Right on, Right on---- right on---- right on Trevor sang as he fingers tapped on the car steering. Right on---- right on---- right on. Frank sang along.

Available on Amazon Kindle Available at