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Current Revisions by (Geoffrey Kmitt, 4/21/12)
Geoff Kmitt 4028 Mabel Ave Castro Valley CA 323-532-6920
FADE IN: 1 INT. BRUISER'S APT - MORNING The small one bedroom apt is furnished like the quintessential college bachelor. Plies of letters and open bills sit on the kitchen table in front of a fairly large early 20's burnt-out college student(Bruiser). He reaches over the pile of bills and grabs the newspaper and reads an wanted ad "Sweeper Vac Driver needed. 3rd shift only" BRUISER Might as well give it a shot. 2 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON Bruiser sits with a clipboard with a application and is putting the finishing touches on it. He stands and hands it over the desk to the night shift boss. BRUISER Here you are. When do you plan on filling the position? BOSS LADY It should be very soon. BRUISER (Very politely)Well thank you and I look forward to speak with you very soon Bruiser turns and begins to walk out of the door BOSS LADY Hold on one second. You forgot something. He stops in his tracks and walks back to the desk. Boss lady hands him a folded document. BOSS LADY (CONT’D) Since you forgot to ask what time you start I wrote it down for you. I'll see you tomorrow at 7:30. 2 1
CONTINUED: BRUISER (excitedly) Thank you, who knew so much time went by since my application was put it. BOSS LADY Told you it would be very soon
Bruiser leaves the office with a newfound drive to succeeded 3 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE- EVENING 3
Bruiser walks through the front door to a empty office at 7:15. He turns to shut the door and finds a note taped to the door. It reads "Have a seat in the break room. Your trainer would be with you shortly." 3A INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- CONTINUOUS 3A
7:30 comes and passes as Bruiser sits and waits at a table in the center of the room. 7:30 turns into 8:45 Bruiser looks back at the clock and stands up to leave BRUISER Man...Fuck it. As Bruiser begins to leave a man walks thought the door. He is wearing a very stained T-shirt and worn out jeans. The rest of him is very unkempt. MARK Hey...uh...you Bruiser? BRUISER (Mildly annoyed) Yeah, I've been here sinceMARK Cool...alright, well uh, lemme go clock in and we'll get going. Take this stuff around back to our truck and I'll meet you out there. Without a missing moment Mark disappears back out the same door he entered before Bruiser can get a word out. CUT TO:
3. 3B EXT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MATANIENCE BAY - NIGHT 3B
Bruiser finds the one truck not on lifts to what seems to be a ER for trucks that are on their dying days and puts the bag in the truck and waits outside for Mark to show up. He stands around to what seems as long as he waited in the break room before Mark shows up around the corner with more bags in his hand. MARK Alright hop in and lets get this night started. Mark tosses the extra bags behind the passenger seat and turns the key to the desperate whine of the truck turning over. MARK (CONT’D) OK here's what's going to be the pleasure of what you'll be doing. We go around to places like malls and grocery stores, use the sweeper truck to suck up the trash, use leaf blowers to blow trash away from the sidewalk, and empty all the trash cans. BRUISER Wow, that wasn't in the job description. MARK (Laughing) It never is. Don't worry, FNG's get the hang of the job pretty easily. FNG? BRUISER
MARK That's you buddy. The two pull out and drive down the streets to Bruiser's first job site. MARK (CONT’D) Alright checklist number one. Let's get cracking. Bruiser gets out and starts pulling out bags from various garbage bins around the shopping center. While Mark drives the truck to sweep the lot.
The Night continues on as the move from lot to lot and Bruiser quickly gets the job and discovers how mind-numbingly dull manual labor it is. EXT. WALGREENS LOT - STORE FRONTNIGHT Mark and Bruiser sit in front of the truck drinking coffee. MARK We always wonder how long people will wait in that break room for the trainer to show up. So far it's Two hours and Twenty minutes. BRUISER Well I'm surprised you don't have people lining up for the job. MARK Us Sweeper Vac Guys are pretty close for how shitty this job can get. And that doesn't even count the shit we get handed to us outside the description. When your here as long as some us have been the idea of "now I've seen everything" becomes less of idea and more of a personal challenge. So leaving the FNG in the break room is just to dip you feet in the water. Mark takes on big hit of his drink and gets in to the truck. MARK (CONT’D) Alright buddy, I'm going to run across the street to our last stop of the night. Go ahead and change the trash cans and check the backside of the store for anything out of the ordinary. I'll pick you up when you're done and we can call it a night. BRUISER You're leaving me? MARK Don't worry, call on the radio if you need anything!
Mark pulls out and gets to the main street, tires screeching as he drives quickly to the last stop of the night. Bruiser is left to fend for himself as he is very apparently deep in the ghetto in the early hours of the morning. He changes the trash cans in the front of walgreens and carefully makes is way around the back side of the store. 5 EXT. WALGREENS BACKSIDE OF THE STORE - CONTINUOUS 5
Bruiser walks down the back ally giving a very quick look around of the area. Halfway down he steps on some broken glass and looks around to see that the light shot out sometime before. All of a sudden behind him there is a rustling of noise and when he whips around. Standing there is a man in very tattered clothing and from what little the light shows many scars and missing teeth. The tell tale crackhead. CRACKHEAD Hey man! Hey Uh do you like have a light , man? BRUISER Sorry, I don't smoke CRACKHEAD (focusing on his words) Hey! Uh, do you got a dollar, man? BRUISER Listen man, I'm covered to my head in stink at 3am on a Friday night. Does it look like I have a dollar? The crack-head pulls a knife from his jacket pocket and slowly closes in on Bruiser. Bruiser looks at himself covered in all kinds of grime and standing his ground decides that this is not going to happen. Scanning the areas with his eyes he catches a broken pallet in his peripherals halfway covered by the dumpster with pieces of wood loosely attached to the pallet remains. CRACKHEAD Come on man! Give me that wallet! Bruiser holds up his hands, slightly nods and makes the gesture to grab his wallet. He drops his knee and grabs a piece of broken pallet, quickly whips back a cracks it as hard as he can across his face. The crack-head falls back as if the rug was ripped out from under neath him. Bruiser drops the plank standing over him and grabs his radio from his back pocket.
CONTINUED: BRUISER (to the radio) Hey! Some crack head just tried to mug me back here. I think I knocked him out. Do we need to tell Metro PD or something? A long pause BRUISER (CONT’D) (to the radio) Hello?!? MARK (Over the radio) Is he dead? BRUISER (to the radio) WHAT?! MARK (over the radio) Is.He.Dead
Bruiser leans down and checks his neck for a pulse. Getting a closer look we see him covered in blood with a broken nose. BRUISER (to the radio) No, he's alive MARK (over the radio) Fuck it, I'm coming to pick you up, see you in a sec. A few minutes later, Mark comes roaring behind the store, stops, and stands over to look at his handy-work. Good from! MARK (CONT’D)
BRUISER Can we go now? MARK I mean, I've had to drop guys before, but this takes the cake! BRUISER Can we please go now?
CONTINUED: (2) Mark takes a few pictures with his cell phone. MARK I can't wait to show the guys when we get back to the office. BRUISER (exhausted) Awesome, lets go.
Mark and Bruiser hop into the truck and back out of the alleyway leaving the bloodied crack-head laying unconscious in the middle of the path. 5A INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- MORNING 5A
All of the crew stands around as Mark shows them the pictures of the aftermath of the knock out by Bruiser. Jay brings bruiser a coffee. Jay is in his late 30's and one of the people who have been with the job a long time and has earned a reputation of being the prankster of the night crew. JAY Well you got your self a Grade-A ass whooping there. Don't worry it's happened to all of us but I think the first night is some kind of time record. MARK I think the first time for me was three weeks in, lost my lunch money that time. JAY The FNG handled it like a pro BRUISER OK, now I know I'm missing something here. MARK Don't you worry, were going mold you into the best fucking new guy we've had. 6 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - LATE AFTERNOON 6
Bruiser is sprawled in his bed as the alarm goes off for 7:00 in the evening.
As we follow him for the pre work routine we see more of his apt and it has become a improvement from when he was first looking for the job. Downstairs we see him get into his Hummer. This is a car he obviously worked to get so it kept in pristine condition. He fires it up and drives off to work. Bruiser arrives to Street Sweeper HQ and heads inside and finds Mark half asleep in the break room. BRUISER (Sarcastically)Hey, don't let the boss lady catch you. She might do something that resembles disciplinary action. MARK Not with the dirt I got on her. BRUISER Wait? What? MARK Ha, Just kidding. Or am I? Bruiser looks at Mark trying to determine if he's joking or not. MARK (CONT’D) Alright let's go, I'll meet you at the truck. Mark leaves to prep the truck leaving Bruiser with a look of suspicion and confusion Bruiser shakes the thought off and meets Mark in the truck and drives off into the night to the first job of the night. FADE TO: 6A EXT. SUBURBS - EMPTY PARKING LOT - NIGHT 6A
Mark and Bruiser drive through the suburbs in the middle of the route. Mark is telling a story of one of crazy nights he's had while on the job. BRUISER Oh come on , you can't tell me that you were ACTUALLY chased by an animal. MARK Buddy, I'm telling 'ya. There was something out there chasing me. (MORE) (CONTINUED)
MARK (CONT'D) Something big wanted me, breathing down my neck. I think it could smell fear. BRUISER You're telling me a bear chased you? MARK Buddy, I don't know. I'm just telling you ya there's crazy stuff out here that we don't know about. BRUISER You're crazy. MARK Maybe, maybe not buddy.
They both pull onto a lot deep in the quiet suburbs of Nashville. Bruiser and Mark hop out and do our thing. Mark stays in the front of the lot and Bruiser goes behind the stores to check things out. Bruiser pauses to light a smoke and begins think about what Mark has said. Suddenly there is a scratching noise coming from the other side of the gate were the dumpsters are. BRUISER (softly) What the fuck was that? A moment passes and then Bruiser decides to ignore the noise and go back to his smoke. The noise happens again and this time accompanied by a loud bang. Bruiser quickly reaches for a flashlight in his pocket and shines it down to the dumpsters. Another scratch and bang each time getting louder. Hello? BRUISER (CONT’D)
*Scratch BOOM! BANG!* Bruiser is now visibly nervous but tires to believe it Mark playing with him.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER (CONT’D) Mark, I'm not a moron. I know it's you back there.
Two loud BOOMS echo the ally with Bruiser standing there in the night. After a moment to rally his courage Bruiser slowly steps toward the dumpster and throws opens the gate and fills the area with his flashlight. Nothing. But he still can't shake the feeling something is wrong. Bruiser slowly makes his way to the dumpster. A sudden wind throws the gate closed and then there is a another scratch from the dumpster. He shuts of his flashlight and carefully listens. There was something inside the dumpster. He begins to lift the lid and before he can touch the dumpster a raccoon the size of a Great Dane pops out with the remains of his dinner. BRUISER (CONT’D) (Extremely high pitched)AAAAAAA! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! Bruiser stumbles back and begins to run back to the truck and turns back to see that it was chasing him. He makes it back and Mark is standing near by with a shovel taking swings at the giant raccoon. MARK GET BACK, FRED! LEAVE THE BOY ALONE! The raccoon stops dead in it's tracks. MARK (CONT’D) Yeah, this is Fred. We found out he's a she after we named her. Looks like you walked right in to her nest. Oh and nice one screaming at a raccoon by the way. Man you got some quick in you. Didn't think you could move that fast. Rightly embarrassed, Bruiser started packing the truck up very quick. The whole time Fred just stares at Bruiser the whole time they were cleaning the lot. Finally leaving Bruiser looks back from the truck to see Fred still staring, he turns to show Mark and Fred disappears.
They pull into Sweeper HQ and begin to head home when a scratch is heard echoing the shop. Bruiser jumps back and begins to sprint off when Mark begins laughing from the door. DISSOLVE TO: 7 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - EVENING Bruiser walks In and catches Mark and Jay in the break room just about to leave. BRUISER Hey, I'll be there in a sec. JAY Not tonight big boy. MARK Yep today is the big day, the momma bird gets to watch her little baby bird fly tonight.(Fake crying) I'm just so proud. BRUISER I'll make you proud momma. Bruiser goes to Mark for a emotional embrace. JAY OK, save it for later. Now remember don't do anything crazy. Unless you call us first so we can watch. Jay and Mark leave leaving the keys for Bruiser. He goes out to the yard to find his truck to see that it's pretty beat up. He tosses his gear in and starts it up and it barley comes alive. Very exited he pulls out for his first night alone. 7A EXT. HOME DEPOT - PARKING LOT- NIGHT 7A 7
Bruiser pulls in to a empty parking lot only lit by the full moon and spots a truck at the far end of the lot. The only other car there. Thinking to himself it was only a late night employee or a couple getting busy he decided to ignore it and continue on with the job. Sometime passes and the truck is still there. So he decided to make a close pass at the truck to scare off anyone inside.
CONTINUED: After the first see's an out of side there is a the second pass lights.
12. 7A pass around Bruiser makes another lap and state licence plate. As he passes the drivers silhouette of a person inside. Startled by he parks behind the truck and turns out the
He hops out and walks toward the driver side window. As he approaches he raises his hand to tap the window when he stops dead in his tracks. He gets a closer look and sees blood all over the inside of the window and what looks like to be chucks of meat. BRUISER (panicked) Oh god, you have to be kidding me! Bruiser dives into his pocket and pulls out his phone and begins to dial Bryce. Bryce is in his early 30's and has accepted the fact that he's never going to see big action in town and takes advantage of that by being a laid back officer. BRYCE This is the Bryceman BRUISER Hey, It's bruiser. Look I'm over here at the Home Depot. I think some guy blew his brains out in his truck or something. No shit? No shit BRYCE BRUISER
BRYCE Did you check if he's breathing? BRUISER Bryce. It's 2:30 in the morning, I look suspicious by nature, and it looks like there's a dead guy. No. I didn't touch him or the truck. BRYCE Good thinking. I managed to learn a few things in college. It's a state school. BRUISER NOT THE TIME BRYCE!
CONTINUED: (2) BRYCE I'm actually two streets down, I'll be there in a sec.
Bruiser hangs up and pulls a cigarette and tries to light it with his hands shaking. A few moments later Bryce pulls up beside Bruisers truck and steps out. A rookie was with him who looked like he was 12 and wanted to shoot something. He starts to eyeball Bruiser. Bryce signals that he was okay, and all three of them walked up to the door. Bryce taps the door with his maglite. BRYCE (CONT’D) Sir? Sir? Are you okay? The rookie draws his gun and Bruiser takes a step back. Bryce looks at the rook, nods, and reaches for the door. He pulls the handle. The corpse picks its head up off the glass and screams. MAN IN TRUCK AAAAAAAAAAA!!! BRYCE AAAAAAAAAAAA!! EVERYONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Man then proceeds to vomit all over Bryce and the rookie. Bryce jumps back in terror. Bruiser just holds his hand over his face in shock and trying to suppress laughing and the rookie looks like he's about to blow the drunk away. BRYCE WHAT THE SHIT!! Bruiser steps closer as Bryce pulls him out of the truck and sees that he had thrown up red wine all over the inside of the window. Bryce calls for backup and it arrives with an Ambulance. Bruiser sits back and watches as the Man fails his sobriety test and passes out of the hood of Bryce's squad car. They load him into the Ambulance and the rest leave leaving behind Bryce the rookie and Bruiser.
CONTINUED: (3) BRYCE (CONT’D) (To Bruiser) God damn it, this was my only clean uniform! BRUISER I hear club soda can get that right out. BRYCE Get outta here before I find some obscure law to arrest you under.
Bruiser gets into his truck, drives off and is seen laughing through the window as Bryce and the rookie attempt to clean off there uniforms. CUT TO: 8 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON Bruiser is sleeping in his bed sprawled out and in a deep sleep from the work the night before. His phone rings and brings him half awake. Hello. BRUISER 8
BOSS LADY (Over the phone) Hey, you know how your on duty tonight? BRUISER That was my plan BOSS LADY (Over the phone) Well forget that, lucky you there was a cross and now you get the night off. BRUISER Fantastic. I'll be sure to take advantage of it. BOSS LADY (Over the phone) Don't get in to too much trouble. BRUISER Oh you know me.
CONTINUED: BOSS LADY (Over the phone) (Long pause) Don"t make me read any police reports. BRUISER OK Boss Lady!
Bruiser hangs up and falls back into his pillow and a few moments go by when the phone rings again. Hellloooo. BRUISER (CONT’D)
JESSICA (Over the phone) Hey adopted brother! Jessica is Bruiser's appointed body guard at all parties and social events. They had one of those "Big Brother - Little Sister" relationships. BRUISER Well isn't this good news. What can I humbly do for you? JESSICA (Over the phone) Well there is a small get together I going to be at and I haven't seen you what seems to be forever. BRUISER Yeah well that's a working man for yah. JESSICA (Over the phone) Then you should take the night off and join me is festivities. BRUISER Two steps ahead of you. JESSICA (Over the phone) Looks like the stars are lining up. It's at James's place. I'll see you tonight! The phone hangs up and Bruiser tosses it in to the bed. He gets up and starts to get ready for the night.
16. 8A INT. JAMES HOUSE - NIGHT 8A
From what started as "Let's have a few people over and drop the hammer" and blossomed into "There are 200 people here" Midway though the party Bruiser is minding his own business and enjoying the company of his friends. Jessica comes running around the corner and finds Bruiser. JESSICA Bruiser! I need your help! BRUISER What is it? JESSICA Some creepy assholes are trying to feel me up! I think one of is trying to sell cocaine. At this point you could physically see the change from funtime party boy to killing machine. BRUISER Point them out. Jessica points out three scrawny guys standing off in the corner. One is shifty eyed and keeps his hands shoved in his pockets. BRUISER (CONT’D) I'll take care of it. Bruiser makes his way over to the dealers. He puts on his best face. BRUISER (CONT’D) Hey guys, how's it going? Sup, Dude. DEALER #1
BRUISER Not much, I'm just here to tell you that you guys are leaving. DEALER #1 What'd you say? BRUISER I said that I was here to tell you that you guys are leaving. As in, right the motherfuck now.
CONTINUED: DEALER #1 What the fuck dude? What's your problem? BRUISER I don't like the way you look. DEALER #1 So? Do you fuckin' live here? BRUISER Nope, but my buddy does. And he's visiting with his girlfriend right now and I'm not gonna bother him. So I'm doing a favor and letting you guys leave uninjured. DEALER #2 Why don't you back to sucking dick? That's one BRUISER
DEALER #2 What's one? BRUISER Everybody gets one. You go for two, I hurt you. DEALER #2 I'm going to fuck you up man. BRUISER And there's two. 38 Bruiser quickly gives Dealer Number Two a massive uppercut 38 to the stomach. He doubles over, Bruiser knees him in the face and sends him to the carpet. He then focuses on the other two. DEALER #1 WHAT THE FUCK MAN!! Dealer Number One tries to make a run for it and Bruiser trips him catching the side of a coffee table. He grabs him by the back of his jacket and drags him out of the door. Bruiser then focuses on Dealer Number Three. He's pressed up against the wall, eyes bloodshot, and looking scared out of his mind.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER (calmly) You dealing? He nods in the affirmative. BRUISER (CONT’D) You have two seconded to get out of that door. An Instant longer and it'll be blink once for yes and twice for no.
The guy beats tracks for the door, falls on the door jamb, and continues out to the front lawn. After the whole room breaks into cheering and applause Bruiser steps outside to find that someone had called the police. Around the cruiser Bryce strolls around. BRYCE What the hell are YOU doing here? Hey Bryce! BRUISER
BRYCE (Taking stock of the injured) Jesus what the fuck happened?!? BRUISER They sexually assaulted a young female. I assisted them out of the door. Jessica comes running up to Bruiser's side JESSICA One of those assholes shoved their hands down the back of my pants! BRUISER They're holding. Are they? BRYCE
BRUISER Blow and god knows what else. BRYCE I'll be right back
Bryce shakes the three guys down and finds bags of Coke, a huge roll of twenties, and two knives between all of them. BRYCE (CONT’D) Wow, I really have to thank you guys. You just filled my quota for the entire month. The only thing I can give you guy's is a ride to county. Sorry it's not gift wrapped. DEALER #1 WHAT ABOUT THE ASSHOLE THAT BEAT US UP! BRYCE He aided in the apprehension of three suspects whose charges include sexual battery, possession of a deadly weapon and possession with intent to sell. And from your looks I bet there is some destruction of property in there. You play nice and we'll see about sliming the charges down. In yah go! He aided in the apprehension of three suspects whose charges include sexual battery, possession of a deadly weapon, possession of cocaine with intent to sell, and from the way you gentleman look, I bet there's some destruction of property in there. You play nice, and we'll see about sliming those charges down. In you go! Bryce loads them up into the squad cars and heads over to Bruiser. BRUISER I'm really sorry Bryce, I didn't know someone called the cops. I'll answer for the assault charges. BRYCE Don't worry about it. I have a feeling that those dumbasses are going to forget how they got bloodied. BRUISER You're the man. Have I ever told you that?
CONTINUED: (4) BRYCE Only every time you see me. I bet the party is breaking up. You sleeping here? BRUISER You know it. BRYCE Good deal, I'll catch you later.
He starts to walk away and turned around half way to his car. BRYCE (CONT’D) When I got the call on the radio, I somehow knew you'd be involved. I mean, what Friday night wouldn't be complete without you making work for me. CUT TO: 9 EXT. HOME DEPOT - PARKING LOT- NIGHT 9
Bruiser is driving down the street heading to his next stop of the night. Some time has passed from his first night, some of the grime seems permanently stuck on him but he's adapted to the crazy nights and developed sharper wit with keen and slightly insane sense of handling the work place events. Pulling into the Home Depot parking lot he goes about the job with no strange occurrences. As he finishes he comes across a bag of quick dry concrete. To big to fit through the intake he tosses it in the back spilling out over his uniform. As he locks up thunder is heard in the distance and a heavy rain begins fall. Bruiser gets in and makes his way down the street to his next stop of the night. 9A EXT. DOVER CROSSING - PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS 9A
With the rain stopping he pulls into the next lot to find 30 high school kids parked in the center of the lot and each one driving an 90's import racer with cheap body kits and unnecessary high spoilers. Bruiser goes to the end of the lot and begins to sweep the center and do his work duties. Each time making a pass by in hopes they get the clue to move. Still there Bruiser decides to make one last pass, but they still are blocking the entire center of the lot. He gets out of the truck and walks over to the group of teens.
CONTINUED: BRUISER Hey man, I was wondering if you guys could move a couple of spaces over so I can sweep here. Your cars are fine I just need to get into this aisle for a couple minutes. Fuck you Teenager
BRUISER Hey, we don't need any of that... I just need to move in here for a few minutes. I'll be out of your hair in no time, really. TEENAGER Why don't you get back into your truck, and get the fuck out of here. The group of teens had gathered around at this, and had actually started laughing at that last comment. BRUISER So, it's like that? TEENAGER Yeah, it's like that. BRUISER Alright man, just remember I asked nicely first. TEENAGER FUCK OFF GARBAGE MAN!! Alright man, just remember that I asked nicely first. Moron: "FUCK OFF, GARBAGE MAN!" The teens taunt me as Bruiser walks back to the truck. He gets back in and hits his hands causing the concrete dust to stir up making him sneeze. A moment passes and he remembers what is still in the hopper. He turns on the intake motor and puts it to 100 percent. The whole truck begins to shake from the pressure built and the motor running at the highest possible output. A devils grin comes across his face as he drives high speed toward the teens and their cars. Right before reaching the cars he flips a switch to disconnect the hopper from the truck causing equal to a dust storm of powder to bellow from the truck.
After the third pass laughing like a demon fresh from hell he makes his way to the dust free side to watch all the teenagers sprint to the cars which was covered in a layer of powder. Bruiser makes his way to a dust free store front and shuts down the engine and reconnects the hopper as the whole lot empties in 15 secondes flat. He looks out to see that a crowd has gathered of night shift crew and jumps out to the sound of cheers and laughter. NIGHT CREW WORKER Wooo boy that was something out of Maximum Overdrive. You sure did show those assholes! BRUISER I knew the motor was shaking the truck like hell, but I had no idea you would be able to hear it inside. NIGHT CREW WORKER Oh we saw you on the security cameras and had to come out the second the dust bellowed out like hell fire! BRUISER I'm sure it looked as awesome as it felt. I'm sure they're gonna have fun cleaning that off. How fast do you think quick dry concrete works? Everyone laughs as Bruiser lights a cigarette and continues to chat with the crew as the dust settles. Bruiser gets in his truck and waves as he pulls off into the night. 10 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- NIGHT 10
Some time has passed since Bruiser had started the job and at this point is working 6 day a week shifts and the wear is becoming visible not only on him but he is starting to lose a bit of his sanity. Doug, Jay and Bruiser are in the break room getting ready to leave for there routes. Doug is in his late 30's and extremely paranoid and thinks there is people following him along his route. DOUG I'm telling you the whole route. The second I left here to when I got back.
CONTINUED: JAY I really think your just full of it at this point. DOUG There were the same headlights the entire route! BRUISER You sure it wasn't Al-Qeada this time? You know their Tennessee sleeper cell is growing by the second you hold this information. DOUG I know they're there! I'm still gathering proof but damn it I know! JAY Just think you could be a national hero. People will name babies after you.
Bruiser and Jay start laughing as they all walk out to their trucks and pull out to their separate routes. 10A EXT. WALGREENS BACKSIDE OF THE STORE - NIGHT 10A
While doing a routine check of the back of Walgreens he stumbles across a large sealed case. Looking closer he see's it a entire unopened case of KY warming lubricant. With out hesitation he gets his phone and calls Jay. JAY Go ahead Bruiser BRUISER Hey brother, you're not going to believe what I just found. JAY If it's not a blind Dutch prostitute, I'm not interested. BRUISER It's close . It's a case of KY. Dick Lube? JAY
BRUISER No...WARMING dick lube.
CONTINUED: JAY Bring it in when you get back to HQ tonight 10-4 BRUISER
He hangs up and stashes the crate in his truck and finishes the rest of the night eager for tomorrow. 10B EXT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MATANIENCE BAY - AFTERNOON 10B
Bruiser gets a call from Jay to show up early and meets him in the Matanience bay with the crate of lubricant. They proceed to coat every inch of the inside of the cab of his truck. They finish up and head into the break room where Mike and Mark are sitting. They quickly tell them the plan as Doug walks in the break room. 10C INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM - CONTINUOUS 10C
Jay quickly strikes a conversation to bait Doug to go to his truck. JAY So I was just cruising down my route and I think three Metro PD where on my tail for what seemed to be hours. MARK Yeah that same thing happened to me DOUG You guys too! I knew they were casing me but now they have expanded to you guys. BRUISER Oh yeah, This was like the third time for you now Mark? MARK Hell, the Tenth even. MIKE We should file some sort of grievance. But now it's all hear say so what are we gonna do? Everyone turns to Doug all knowing they have him on the hook.
CONTINUED: DOUG Wait here! I have proof stashed in the truck.
Everyone starts to laugh quietly as he goes to the truck. A minute goes by. Then two minutes. After 5 minutes Jay looks at Bruiser JAY Three.Two. OWHAM! The office door fly's open. DOUG AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Doug comes running into the office covered head to toe in KY DOUG (CONT’D) AAAAAAA OH GOD! I'VE BEEN POISONED! JAY Oh my god! What do you mean?! DOUG I've been sabotaged! There's acid all over the inside of my truck! IT BURNS! BRUISER Oh no! Who do you think it was? DOUG I FUCKING TOLD YOU AL-QAEDA SET UP A CELL! I TOLD EVERYONE, OH GOD THE BURNING! BRUISER Maybe you should jump into the shower to wash off all the acid! DOUG GOOD IDEA BRUISER! GHHAAA THE BURNING! BRUISER (holding back his laughing) The BURNINATION?! YES! DOUG
Finally Doug runs into the locker room. There's a quick beat and then the entire room erupts into laughter. Bruiser pulls out a bottle before leaving with a note. "You foiled our secret plot - With love, Osama XOXO " 11 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON 11
Bruiser is sleeping when his alarm goes off. With little energy he hits snooze and rolls over to keep sleeping when the louder sound of rain causes him roll over to see a down pour out his window. As he begins he gets up to get a better look at the rain his father Mike walks in. Mike is the same size of Bruiser in his early 50's and also works with him at the Sweeper job but different routes. You can see from Mike where Bruiser gets his humor from. MIKE It's been hard like this all day BRUISER Like no work hard like this all day? MIKE Ha, no. But there is talk of flooding so we can show up, get paid and get to leave early. BRUISER I can accept that. Bruiser get up and heads to the shower to get ready for the day. MIKE Be sure scrub good, the guys keep talking about how bad you been smelling. BRUISER I can't help to smell like garbage when it's my job to pick it up MIKE Yeah, but you could smell like nice garbage. BRUISER I cant even fathom a response to that.
CONTINUED: MIKE Good I'll give you time to think of something clever by the time you get to work. I'll be out so I'll see you there.
Mike leaves just as Bruiser pops his head around the bathroom door. BRUISER (Shouting) Damn you old man! (To himself) Damn I'm going to need a good one for that. He pops back into the shower to finish getting ready. 11A INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK - PARKING LOT- NIGHT 11A
The rain seems to have gotten heavier as what seems to be a small creek has replaced the parking lot. BRUISER Welp, this is not going to work very well. Bruisers phone rings with Mike on the other line. MIKE How's the rain treating you on your side? BRUISER I think I saw a school of fish at the Walgreens. MIKE They grow up so fast. The rain has halted for now where I'm at. Bruiser has a sudden idea. BRUISER I swear genius must have skipped you, I have a brilliant plan. Call Jay and I'll have Doug meet you there. MIKE What are you planning?
CONTINUED: BRUISER A test of out medal. The Sweeper Olympics.
Bruiser hangs up and dials Doug. After telling him the plan he takes off to meet up with Mike and Jay. 11B EXT. LARGE EMPTY LOT - NIGHT Bruiser pulls in to see four other tucks lined up on the slick asphalt. He pulls up beside them a cracks over the radio. BRUISER Welcome one and all to the Sweeper Olympics! There will four events and whom ever scores the highest will crowned the champion of champions and win a fabulous prize. First up is the bottle toss. We need to round up Two more 40.oz and ill explain the event. Everyone jumps out and does a quick recon for the remaining bottles. After a few minutes they all gather around the parked trucks. BRUISER (CONT’D) Ok, object is to catch the bottle with the suction and bank left to see how far you can get it before breaking. JAY I practically invented this move, I'll show you how it's done Everyone steps back as Jay gets into his truck. Bruiser runs out and places the bottle in the center of the lot and runs back to join the others. Jay gets up to speed and breaks the bottle before he can catch it. JAY (CONT’D) SON OF A BITCH!! EVERYONE BWAAAAHAHAHA! Jay pulls up with everyone laughing and Doug gets into his truck and takes position. 11B
He gets speed, catches the bottle but sends it flying toward the trucks before exploding on the concrete island. EVERYONE (CONT’D) That's the wrong direction nutbag! Doug pulls up behind the group. DOUG (to Jay) Hey at least mine went in some sort of direction MIKE Gentleman, step aside. A professional is on deck. Mike pulls his truck into to position and drives forward to catch the bottle. He banks left causing the bottle to roll down the lot and gently stop the curb line. He re-joins the group in his truck. MIKE (CONT’D) Oh my. That's quite the shot. I...I'm just so new at...what is this called, the bottle toss? I never expected to win. (Fake crying) I'm so happy! BRUISER Alright, old man. Watch this. Bruiser lines up and takes approach to the bottle. The second he has it he drops the pedal and at 50mph he slams the brakes while pulling hard left. The bottle shoots out and as the bottle rolls it takes a good bounce sending it cart-wheeling through the air and smashing the against the store front. BRUISER (CONT’D) OH SHIT! Did that? Mike, tell me that just happened! MIKE Yeah, Yeah , Yeah. BRUISER I mean. Wow. I think I just sank your fucking battleship. Clearing up for the next event the group moves down for the slalom run.
CONTINUED: (2) OK easy islands lot and so I'll for me. BRUISER (CONT’D) one next, cut around the and complete the length of double back. Best time wins just chalk this as another
They begin the race with Doug up first. He runs the course and makes it back to Bruiser keeping time. DOUG So, how was it? BRUISER Well so far your winning so, you should hold on to that feeling cause it wont last long. Mockingly laughing Doug pulls away as Bruiser starts the course After completing the course he pulls up to see he beat Doug's time BRUISER (CONT’D) (To Doug) Now what did I say? Jay pulls up and runs the course. He pulls up to see that he blew Bruiser out of first. JAY Speeds the names of the game ladies. MIKE Alright time to put you in your place. Mike rev's up and fly's down the course. He skids across the finish line. Bruiser writes down the time and slowly shakes his head as he walks up to Mike's truck. MIKE (CONT’D) Oh I already know. Put I'm pretty sure I still beat your time. Bruiser looks down to see that he's right.
CONTINUED: (3) MIKE (CONT’D) Ahhh even with a loss I still win. Tough pill to swallow I'm sure. JAY Oh thanks for putting me in my place, First is quite comfortable. BRUISER There is still time for me to put you old men down. Now it's time for the Round up.
Everyone gets in to their trucks and makes their way to the grocery shopping side of the lot where there are a few empty carts and a empty cart corral. We join the competition as Doug makes his shot and it goes wide right but the closest so far. Doug pulls up to the group parked about 30 yards from the corral. DOUG Looks like everything is coming up Doug. MIKE (To Bruiser) You ready kid? BRUISER Born ready. Mike pulls out and gets a good run and smacks the cart down the parking lot. MIKE Stay on target. Little more, Stayyyy on tarrrrggeeett. YES! The cart hits the side of the corral and topples over. MIKE (CONT’D) Ooooo...It hurts, don't it? BRUISER Spare me, old man. I've got this. MIKE Boy, I raised you. I've seen what you got, and it ain't pretty.
CONTINUED: (4) BRUISER Whatever, dad. Check this shit out.
Bruiser lines up and takes aim. Right before hitting the cart he taps the brakes sending the cart perfectly down the lot and it slides gently and effortlessly in the corral. BRUISER (CONT’D) They really should pay me extra. I give them artwork everyday After the fan fair for the win given by only Bruiser everyone gets ready for the final event. As Bruiser is on the radio about to explain the final event the thunderstorm starts again and rains them out. DOUG Well looks like the games are rained out. JAY Even so we still have a champion. And I think we all know who it is. BRUISER Ahh please don't give me your applause your competition alone makes this oh so sweet. MIKE Well I guess I can take some small pride in the fact I raised him. BRUISER And if you gentleman shall follow me I can collect my prize Bruiser leads the pack as they drive into the rainy night to a unknown destination. 11C INT. COFFEE SHOP- NIGHT All the sweeper men are sitting together at a booth as a waitress walks up with a coffee mug. BRUISER Thank you very much. Bruiser takes a big drink leaving a look of satisfaction on his face. BRUISER (CONT’D) Ahh It tastes like victory. 11C
The sweeper guys sit and enjoy the rest of the raining right in the coffee shop solidifying Bruiser as part of the sweeper family. 12 INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK - FREEWAY - PRE-DAWN Bruiser is driving down the freeway finishing his shift on Friday night and is cruising down I-24 when he gets a call from Mike. MIKE Hey, where are you at? BRUISER I'm about 20 outside of Nashville, you? MIKE I'm just wrapping up here in Green Hills BRUISER Cool you want to meet up? MIKE Actually, I'm so fast I'll probably beat you back AND have time to fuck your girlfriend. BRUISER That fast eh? That fast. MIKE 12
BRUISER Well perk up your ears old man, I want you to hear this. Never. Not in this lifetime or the next will you ever beat me in a race. Not tonight. Not ever. MIKE Oh, We'll see. Call me before you reach the Trinity exit. I'll be waiting. BRUISER See you there. Bruiser gets to the exit and radios ahead.
CONTINUED: BRUISER (CONT’D) Let's do this old man!
Bruiser passes his truck at 80 and Mike quickly catches up. Bruiser's side mirrors are filled with his headlights as they fly down I-24 at 4 in the morning. Mike passes him and Bruiser drop the accelerator. Tucking in behind his truck, Bruiser starts drafting Mike at 97 miles an hour. The entire truck is shaking. For a brief instant there is a moment that the piece of shit truck is going to fall apart around me. A demon is trying to escape from the hood. Bruiser see's the sign for the Sweeper HQ exit; 3/4 of a mile. He sling shots around Mike and take a glance at the speedometer. The needle is laid flat pass top speed. Bruiser finally passes Mike and rockets up the off ramp. The office isn't too far off the interstate and doing a good job of blocking Bruiser wins. They both pull in and hop out. BRUISER (CONT’D) Hah! What did I say?! MIKE Um...Bruiser? BRUISER You see that shit?! I has the needle buried in the dash. I'm awesome! Bruiser? MIKE
BRUISER I think you need to buy the beer today because that shit was out of sight! BRUISER!! WHAT?! MIKE BRUISER
MIKE Look at the ass end of your truck. Bruiser walks around and takes a look. The rear axle at the wheel hubs was smoking. He does a mental connecting of the dots.
CONTINUED: (2) Was I on.. BRUISER
MIKE Fire? Yeah. You were. I tried to tell you, but you didn't hear me. BRUISER Did it look cool? (beat) I bet it did MIKE Are you kidding me? It was like the sweeper truck from hell! It was fucking fantastic! I knew it. BRUISER
Bruiser and Mike head into the office to fill out the maintenance ticket when Bruiser's phone rings. BRYCE Hey Bruiser. Bryceman! BRUISER
BRYCE Yeah...uh hi. Listen, I just got a call from a trooper friend talking about a pair of sweeper trucks doing about a buck ten down 24. You know anything about that? BRUISER Nooooooo, are you serious? These things? They hardly do 80. BRYCE Riiiggghhhtt, well just look for the smoking truck. Apparently the guy was burning his axles and looked all seven flavors of hell coming down the highway. Will do. BRUISER
Bruiser hangs up and looks back at the remains of the truck. And Mike is hold the forms for the maintenance bay.
CONTINUED: (3) BRUISER (CONT’D) Be sure to write that it looked awesome.
INT. BRUISER'S APT - KITCHEN - DAY
Weeks have gone by and the winter has kicked into full swing with enough rain to cause the ground to freeze making it that much more difficult to do his job. Endless stretches of 14 days on, 2 off had eventually turned him into a psychopath. Bruiser is in the kitchen with another girl and they are in between a shouting match. BRUISER Sorry I have been working like I have too. EX-GIRLFRIEND You know what, that excuse is played out. You better have something new or this is the last time you'll see me. Bruiser stands in a moment of silence and as he his about to speak she belts out. EX-GIRLFRIEND (CONT’D) Fine!! That's how its going to be. Then have a good life. She storms out leaving Bruiser alone. He's not broken about it or excited that she left. He quietly grab a beer and proceeds to take a shower, while inside his phone rings and leaves a message. When he comes out to hear the message chirp and checks it to see that it was work. BOSS LADY (V.O) Hey, we've got a new hire named Jim. He going to start tomorrow and we're gonna have you train him. We're about to shifting of routes and I want him to get a feel for it. The message ends and Bruiser gets a sadistic grin knowing he's found a outlet for his frustration.
37. 14 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - EVENING 14
Jim walks into the office and sees a note on the back of the door saying to meet in the back office. Jim Is in his early 30's clean cut and a all around average guy and is taking this second job to support his new family. 14A INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- CONTINUATION Jim takes a seat and watches the clock slowly crawl on. A hour and half goes by when Bruiser comes in ditty-bopping into the break room. JIM Are you Bruiser? Nope. BRUISER 14A
JIM ... 'scuse me? Bruiser grabs all his gear and scoops up a clip board with his route and makes it for the door. BRUISER Let's rock and roll! ...uh JIM
BRUISER I SAID LET'S ROCK AND ROLL. WAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa! Bruiser leads Jim out to the truck, throws his stuff in the back, and starts the truck up. Meanwhile, Jim gets in and tries to find the seat belt. Bruiser is busy setting up his iPod. 14B INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK- MATANIENCE BAY - NIGHT BRUISER They don't work. ...What? JIM 14B
BRUISER They don't work (points to the seat belts) I'm tellin' ya man. One crash and AHHHHH! OH GOD THE PAIN!!! (MORE) (CONTINUED)
BRUISER (CONT'D) You're ass is going right through that windshield. Oh god! JIM
BRUISER Not even he can save 'ya now. LETS GO! Bruiser proceeds to crank find. He burns out in the serial killer that wasn't going on, he's looking at face. 14C some of the hardest metal he could parking lot and laughs like a afraid to die. While all of this is Jim with a crazed smile look on his 14C
INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK - STREETS - NIGHT
Driving down the street Bruiser and Jim are getting to know about each other. Jim has to scream to be heard over the metal. BRUISER So, this will be a weekend gig for you? Turns down the radio. JIM YEAH I WORK AT THE BOAT FACTORY... I work at the boat factory BRUISER You don't have to yell at me Jim. I'm sorrJIM
BRUISER I'm sensitive I didJIM
BRUISER You have the prettiest blue eyes, Jim ...uh JIM
BRUISER Anyone ever tell you that?
CONTINUED: JIM Could you please watch the road. BRUISER Like two sapphire pools. I could just get lost in them. JIM YOU'RE CROSSING INTO THE OTHER LANE! Oops. BRUISER
EXT. TOWN CENTER - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
They continue down the road and pull up to a "Towne Centere" It's also one of the largest on the route for the night. Bruiser shows Jim the basics of the job and finish pretty quickly. BRUISER Alright, one more to go and we can wrap this up. Woohoo! JIM
BRUISER I hear that. Let's rail this last one out and head back to HQAs they start to drive out Bruiser swings behind the property and see's a Ford LTD being shady as hell. He swings around behind it, kills the lights, and waits. JIM What are we doing? BRUISER Shh, I'm teaching you a lesson JIM What lesson? BRUISER What's wrong with that car? The car starts to move up and down ever so slightly and the windows are fogged up till you can't see inside. You can clearly hear the rap music blaring inside of the car.
CONTINUED: Oh! JIM
BRUISER That's what she said. JIM Are we just going to sit here and watch? This is kind os creepy Bruiser. BRUISER SHH! I'm teaching. Bruiser hits the controls to raise the hopper. Fully erect the truck looks like some sort of bastard Transformer from the seventh layer of hell. Bruiser eases the truck right behind the LTD (which by this point was in full motion). He reaches behind him to his bag and pulls out a miniature kid's bull horn. Bruiser opens the door and whispers instructions with Jim. Bruiser slowly creeps around to the drivers side of the LTD. He makes a hand motion to Jim. He starts the blower motor and ran the throttle all the way up while turning on the high beams and all of the curb lights. Dust was blowing out of the intakes. With the hopper up, with the noise and the dust and the lights it looks like a death robot. Bruiser brings the bull horn to his lips. In his best highpitched metal voice. BRUISER (CONT’D) FROM THE NEITHER WORLD OF SATAN I COME TROUNCING THROUGH THE NIGHT! WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA! The girl inside starts screaming and he see's them trying to put clothes on BRUISER (CONT’D) I HAVE COME TO DELIVER A MESSAGE FROM OUT DARK PRINCE! OOOOOOOOOOooooo The door fly's open and a scrawny 18 year old comes out of the LTD.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER (CONT’D) OHHHH GET THE FUCK OFF MY PARKING LOT AND GO FROM WHEN YOU CAME, GET THE FUCK OFF MY LOT, HIDE YOUR FACE IN SHAME! HEAVEN HELP IF YOU LEAVE A RUBBER, THAT SHIT JUST WON'T DO , YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS SO FAT I THINK SHE JUST SAID MOOOOOOO!
His girl comes out is half dressed and a very large girl. Bruiser makes the motion for Jim to cut the engines. Hey man! BRUISER (CONT’D)
TEENAGER #2 Who the fuck are you?! BRUISER I'm the guy that was going to have to clean up that used rubber that you were about to throw on my lot. I...I...I TEENAGER #2
BRUISER I..I..I I think you and your girl better hit the fucking bricks before I call the cops. TEENAGER #2 You can't do shit! Bruiser pulls out his phone ready to hit speed dial Hey, man! Who the fuck are you?! I'm the guy that was going to have to clean up that used rubber you were about to throw down on my lot. Bruiser pulls out his phone and is ready to hit the speed dial. BRUISER Please. Please talk some more shit so I can see my friend bust you and your girl. (Leans in close) How old is she man?
Please. Please talk some more shit so I can see my friend bust you and your girl. *Leans in very close* how old is she, man? TEENAGER #2 Sis...Sixteen BRUISER And how old are you? Eighteen TEENAGER #2
BRUISER How'd you like to go do time for statutory rape? Do you know what they do downtown for rape? No. TEENAGER #2
BRUISER They will trade your ass to Tyrone, for a pack of Lucky Strike's. Tyrone likes to dance. Do you like to dance? TEENAGER #2 (Sobbing) No... BRUISER I didn't think so. Now what was that about me not doing shit? TEENAGER #2 Please don't , I love her and her mom andBRUISER Stop. Get back into you car. Leave. (Looks at girl) You! Go home and talk to your parents! Now! The girl hops back into the LTD. TEENAGER #2 Thank you, Thank You, Thank You BRUISER I better not see you ever again.
CONTINUED: (4) No sir! TEENAGER #2
The kid jumps back into the car. As Bruiser gets back into the truck, He leans out with the bull horn. BRUISER GOD BLESS! HAVE A GOOD NIGHT! We pull away and Jim is just shocked JIM What was that? BRUISER That Jimbo, is how the job is done. The rest of the night drags to a close and they pull into a Diner and buys Jim breakfast. 14E INT. COFFEE SHOP- NIGHT BRUISER I like ya man. JIM Oh, I'm sorry Bruiser , I'm not... I'm married. BRUISER You calling me gay Jim? JIM No! No no no. I just thought... you know, the eyes thing BRUISER I was saying I like ya. You remained calm with everything I threw at you. JIM Thanks I really need the job. We just had a baby and we need the extra cash. BRUISER Congrats man! I'm really not that psychopathic. It's kind of like hazing ya know? 14E
CONTINUED: JIM Oh, I gotcha! Hey, I was wondering... Did I come in at the wrong time, or were you late or something? BRUISER Jim, It happens to all the FNG's their first night. JIM What's a FNG? Bruiser grins as he remembers his first night. BRUISER That's you buddy.
EXT. KROGER SHOPPING CENTER - EVENING
An spring freeze has come through and the day's snow had turned to slush and as night comes the ground has frozen over. Bruiser is wearing a Middle Tennessee hat, dirty jeans and his Frat sweater out fighting the cold with a leaf blower. Earlier Bruiser had fallen and cut his eyebrow and a bandage and dried blood leaks from underneath. Giving up with the leaf blower he makes his way back and crosses the front of the 24 hour market when he looks up to see her. She was about 5'4, 105 pounds, chestnut hair tucked under a winter hat, face wrapped up in a scarf and wearing jeans that could kill a man. She was walking out as Bruiser was walking by and he shoots a friendly smile. She smiles back, hits a slick spot of ice, and goes down like a ton of bricks. GODDAMNIT! JEN
Bruiser runs over and does a knee slide up to her. BRUISER Are you okay, ma'am? JEN Yeah I banged my elbow. That really hurts! BRUISER Here let me help you up
She undid the scarf and he see's her face. When Bruiser see's her face and is taken back. Beautiful almond colored eyes, flawless face, and a smile that stops time. Bruiser takes a quick look at himself. Dirty, bloodied and smells like garbage. Not the best timing. He help's her up and she falls back down again. JEN I'm from Florida, damnit! I don't know how to walk on ice! BRUISER Relax, just let me help you up. I'm from D.C ,I know how this stuff works. She gets steady on her feet again and starts brushing herself off. JEN Thanks so much! BRUISER No problem. Have a nice night She starts walking off and he could see she was still uneasy. When she started going down again, Bruiser drops everything and catches her. JEN You're a lifesaver. BRUISER All in a day's work, ma'am. JEN Hey ! You go to Middle Tenn? BRUISER Hah, sort of. Me too! JEN
BRUISER Really? What are you studying?
CONTINUED: (2) JEN I'm a transfer student from UCF; Business Admin. I came up here to start all over. That's why I'm working a third shift at a fucking store. What about you? BRUISER Well, I usually change my major every two weeks. I think this week it's either History of Equine science. I'm kind of taking a little break which is why I'm working 3rd shift driving a fucking street sweeper. JEN I love horses. BRUISER And I was kidding. JEN And you don't read sarcasm very well. Well, sweeper-guy, want to walk me to my car? BRUISER No problem.
Bruiser walks her to the back of the parking lot where her car was, helping her out along the way. They finally get to her beat up VW Rabbit. She sticks out her hand. JEN Well thanks... Bruiser. Jen. BRUISER JEN
BRUISER Well, Jen from Florida, drive safe okay? JEN Will do, Bruiser from D.C. Bruiser starts walking back when Jen calls out.
CONTINUED: (3) JEN (CONT’D) When do you work here? BRUISER Everyday that ends in Y. You? JEN See you soon! He waves and gets back into his truck and off. Another look at himself he convinces nothing more will come of this other than He drives off to go on to the rest of his
see's her drive himself that the moment itself. shift. 16
EXT. UPSCALE SHOPPING CENTER - NIGHT
The night continued and was pretty unremarkable. Bruiser is at a normal shopping center, doing a normal job. All in all, it was boring. It's about 3 Am in the middle of the week, and around the corner is a quiet, little bar in the center of the center. This is known as the good part of town and is marked by the Mercedes SLK Kompressor. Electric blue. Hardtop convertible. Bruiser is sweeping around it and notices a women passed out in the front seat. This is in it's self is pretty unremarkable. Has too many cosmos with her girl friends, passes out in her car to sleep it off for a while. Bruiser park a ways away and starts to fill out his log sheet when he sees the lights on the SLK snap on. He's sets down the clipboard down and pops open a can of soda. There are giant, artsy concrete pillars on the lot that make a valiant effort to try and make it look like something other than a parking lot. The lady backs up and turns around. Wham! Goes the front end of the car Wham! Goes the back end as she tries to back up Wham! Goes the front again. This series repeats itself at least four or five times. The lady finally hits the pillar hard enough to deploy the airbag. She stumbles out of the car. Looks at it. Throws her shoe at the windshield. She vomits. She gets back in and passes out. Bruiser quickly dials Bryce. BRYCE It better be good because I'm asshole deep in a Clancy novel.
CONTINUED: BRUISER Don't you have some sort of police work to be doing? BRYCE Why is there some police work to be done? BRUISER Well, if you count a woman totaling her SLK Kompressor in a parking lot over and over again. Well, yeah. She alive? BRYCE
BRUISER Drunk. Passed out actually. BRYCE Damnit Bruiser! Why do you always have to make more paperwork for me? BRUISER Who loves 'ya baby?! BRYCE I'm on my way. Bryce shows up about 10 minutes later and knocks on the window of the SLK. BRYCE (CONT’D) Ma'am? You alright in there? DRUNK WOMAN Yesth occifer. I'm justh shleepin'. I had a hawd day todayy at works. I'm to tired to drive ho(stops herself and swallows a gag) - home. BRYCE What happened to your car? DRUNK WOMAN Shome ashhole hit me. BRYCE Wow, he did a real number on it, didn't he?
CONTINUED: (2) YeDRUNK WOMAN (vomits all over the dash)
BRYCE Ma'ma have you been drinking? DRUNK WOMAN I may have had a cocktail or two. Bryce picks up a piece of paper that falls out of the car. It's the bar tab. BRYCE Let's see. You had nine vodka tonics and three cosmos. It say's here the bill was divided, so this is all you. BRUISER God...damn. That's fucking epic. BRYCE I know right? DRUNK WOMAN I-I-I... (Vomits all over the car again) BRYCE (looks at Bruiser) Dude... BRUISER You know I keep you entertained. BRYCE Do you just go out and find things to fuck up my night? Maybe. I hate you BRUISER BRYCE
BRUISER Love 'ya baby! Bruiser wishes him well and drives out. When he looks in the mirror as he drives away, the lady was falling over trying to walk a straight line.
50. 17 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - NIGHT 17
After a too short sleep, Bruiser wakes up and was ready for the grind again. Bruiser shows up the very next night at around 3 am and starts the job. 17A EXT. KROGER SHOPPING CENTER - MORNING 17A
The sun breaks early in the day. Despite it being ice cold the slush melted away and makes the job a little easier. Dressed somewhat in the same way as the day before only this time wearing Capitals Hockey Jersey, he went about my cleaning. I was loading a bag of garbage into the rack that sits behind the truck when Jen came our of the front door.\ JEN The Capitals suck. BRUISER You're from Florida. I thought you didn't know about ice. JEN I know enough to know that the Capitals suck. BRUISER And who do you root for? Red wings JEN
BRUISER How does it feel? JEN How does what feel? BRUISER You know... riding on that bandwagon all day long. JEN Pretty good consternating BRUISER Considering what? JEN Considering that we have the a Stanley Cup. OH.MY.GOD.WHAT?!
CONTINUED: BRUISER Yeah, yeah. Anyway, how's the elbow? JEN Sore as hell. I wanted to come out here and personally thank you with this cup of coffee. BRUISER Thanks! You didn't have to do that, I was just doing my job. JEN My hero. Walk me out to my car again?
They walked out, talked small talk for a few minutes, and reached that silence where it's time for someone to go, but nobody wants to leave. JEN (CONT’D) Hey, what are you doing this weekend? BRUISER I've got tomorrow night off. JEN Really? So do I! BRUISER Well, barring boyfriends, husbands and common law spouses how about we go for some dinner? Nothing too serious, just casual. JEN You don't play around, do you? BRUISER Life's too short. She pulls out a piece of paper and a pen from her jacket. JEN Her's my number. Hopefully you won't be like every other guy and flake on me. BRUISER You don't play around do you?
CONTINUED: (2) JEN Aw schcks, Bruiser. I think I'm sweet on 'ya. BRUISER Ha! Well... I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon. We'll see who flakes out. JEN Calling my bluff? BRUISER I'm not a gambling man. But thanks for the coffee.
She looks up at him with a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. JEN Talk to you soon. 18 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON 18
Bruiser rolls over and smashes the snooze on my alarm clock. He goes out on the back porch for a smoke and dials Jen. Hello? JEN
BRUISER Hey, It's Bruiser. JEN You called! BRUISER I told you I would. JEN So are we going out tonight? BRUISER You like Italian? JEN Does the pope shit in the woods? BRUISER I don't know. Do Bears wear funny hats?
CONTINUED: JEN If they're Russian circus bears drunk on vodka they do. BRUISER How does 7:30 sound? Perfect! JEN
Bruiser writes down the address to her house across town. They parted, and he dials another number. 'ello? ANTONIO
BRUISER Antonio! It's Bruiser , how are you my friens? ANTONIO BRUISER! I haven't heard from you in weeks! How are you doing? BRUISER Good good, I need a favor. ANTONIO Anything for you. BRUISER I need your finest table tonight. ANTONIO Is that all? I was expecting a body to be moved. Sure , you've got it. What time? BRUISER About Quarter to eight. ANTONIO I'll tell the host to give you the special treatment just for you. My hero. BRUISER
He hangs up, and cleans up for the date. Shaved, scrubbed, and looking handsome, He drives over to Jen's place wearing a tailored wool khaki colored slacks, black turtle next and a black jacket. He looks like a Bruiser sized Steve McQueen.
He pulls up and rang the doorbell. Jen's roommate answered the door in PJ's and a pint of ice cream. Yes? ROOMMATE
BRUISER Hi, is Jen here? ...What? ROOMMATE
BRUISER I'm sorry, I was looking for...is this the right place? ROOMMATE Uhhhh...OH! Yes! I'm sorry, you must be Bruiser! Yes. BRUISER
ROOMMATE Sure come on in. I...uh... You're not what I was expecting. BRUISER No problem. ROOMMATE Lemme go get her. 18A INT. JEN'S APT.- LIVING ROOM - EVENING 18A
Her roommate fly's up the stairs, running to go get Jen. Bruiser just stands there, hands in pocket, looking around. A moment goes by and it sounds like a wrestling match up stairs. Running around, giggling, a yelp or two. Finally, She came down the stairs. Wow. JEN
BRUISER You beat me to it. You look fabulous. JEN And you clean up like no one I've ever seen.
CONTINUED: BRUISER Why thank you. Are you ready? Let's go! JEN
I held the door open for her and they walk out to the Hummer. Little did he know, they had drawn a crowd of her roommates looking out through the windows. JEN (CONT’D) You have GOT to be kidding me. ...Huh? A Hummer? BRUISER JEN
BRUISER Oh... I'm sorry, I know it's really ostentatious but it's all I've got. JEN This thing is sex on wheels. I grew up Mudding around Florida in my brother's jeep. Tell me you go offroad. BRUISER Whenever I get the time. Bruiser opens the door for Jen and helps her in. She just beamed at me. Thanks. JEN
Bruiser starts it up and get on our way to the restaurant. 18B INT. BRUISER'S HUMMER - DRIVING - CONTINUOUS JEN So, how does a street sweeper afford a Hummer and nice clothes? Bruiser looks over with a dead serious look. BRUISER I'm a mid-level enforcer for the mob. 18B
CONTINUED: ...What.. JEN
BRUISER I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn't work up the nerve. I didn't know how you were going to take it. JEN I..ah..wow... BRUISER I hope this isn't a deal breaker. JEN Well...I mean...Really? BRUISER No. Are you kidding me? I worked hard and saved up for this. JEN Haha! You're pretty smooth you know that? BRUISER Honestly, I'm just being myself. She just looks over at me, playing with her hair, and smiling that smile and soaking in every moment. 19 INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT - FOYER - EVENING 19
They get to the restaurant, parked, and make our way to the front door. I held it open and they walk into the foyer. Bruiser see's the host brighten up. HOST Bruiser! We've been expecting you. May I take your jacket? What a beautiful woman (kisses her hand) A pleasure to have you! Bruiser palms him a 20 and he lead table that was set in a small nook low light, the whole romantic nine with a spoon. Well, they order and himself. them to an out of the way towards the back. Candles, yards. Jen is eating it up Antonio brings it out
CONTINUED: ANTONIO Compliments of the house for a dear friend and his beautiful date. You cant sandblast the grin off of Jen's face. JEN Dear friend , huh? Sure you're not in the mob? BRUISER More like a friend of a friend.
They eat, talk about everything under the sun. They soon find out that we had a lot in common. We both the first in the family to go to college, and we both didn't have it easy growing up. We sat there for hours until they felt like it was time to go. BRUISER (CONT’D) Do you like taking walks? She smiles and nods. They bid farewells and drive over to Bruiser's place. His Apt Complex was close by and was built around a large pond with a walkway and benches around it. They just stroll around and talk, and sit, and looked at the ducks. The full moon glows making it the perfect evening. She yawns and Bruiser decides it was time for him to take her back home. He pulls up, opened the door and helps her out. We finally got up to the porch and she starts playing with her keys. JEN Can I be honest? BRUISER Is there any other way? JEN I had the best night of my life tonight. (Bruiser shrugs it off) No. Really. I've never been out on a date like this. You're such a gentleman, and the dinner and jeeze the walk around the pond. It was all so amazing. I felt like a princess tonight. Thank you. I really hope we can go out again.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER Well, you're very welcome. And of course we'll go out again. Really?! I promise. Soon? Soon. JEN BRUISER JEN BRUISER
And being a true gentleman. He shakes her hand, winks, and turns toward the car. He watches her go inside and sees her and the roommates through a space in the curtains laughing and smiling. He drives off knowing she's going to be the best thing he's ever had. 20 EXT. SUBURBS - EMPTY PARKING LOT - NIGHT 20
A week has passed since Bruiser and Jen's date and things return to normal. Bruiser is driving Jim around the back of the property where Fred lives. BRUISER Alright, be sure to clean by the dumpsters. That's important with this place. JIM By the dumpsters? BRUISER Yeah. You know, open the gate, on in there, and clean between them. Oh...okay JIM
BRUISER I'll be around front if you need me! Bruiser speeds off toward the front and stars working. He figures it would only be a matter of minutes before Jim would come screaming around the corner, giant raccoon in tow.
Well a minute later Jim comes screaming around the corner. He was running so hard that he lost his footing and tumbles on the pavement. JIM BRUISER! BRUISER! Bruiser with knowing look on his face. BRUISER What's the matter Jim? JIM There's a goddamn...THING back there! Thing? BRUISER
JIM And...oh god. OH GOD, BRUISER! By this point Bruiser starts to get a little freaked out. It was only a raccoon for God's sake. BRUISER Spit it out Jim. JIM Bruiser... There's a raccoon back there YeBRUISER
JIM No. Listen. It's feed on an arm. Bruiser has a blank expression on his face. JIM (CONT’D) A GODDAMN ARM BRUISER! BRUISER Oh FUCK! Are you serious?! JIM LOOK AT MY FACE MAN! I'M NOT KIDDING! Bruiser runs as fast as possible around the back. He gets out the flashlight, takes a deep breath, and opened the gate. In large sweeping motions, he bathed the area in light.
And there it is. A arm hanging out of the dumpster with Fred looking at Bruiser underneath it. BRUISER WHAT IN THE FUCK! OH GOD! He tries to back peddle out of the area and ends up falling backwards. Eyes were drawn to the arm and back down to Fred. When he finally stops screaming, he see's something really odd about the arm. Bruiser stands up and inches closer to it. He grabs it and it squeaks like a chew toy BRUISER (CONT’D) Ahh! Oh Jesus. What the fuck is going on? He reaches out and gives it a tug. The entire damn thing fell to the ground with a hollow thud A mannequin arm with a note taped to it. "Dear Bruiser, Aren't paybacks a bitch?- Jim P.S. - you can thank Mark for the idea" Behind him, Jim starts clapping. BRUISER (CONT’D) What the fuck is that Jim?! A smug grin starts to cross his lips JIM That, Bruiser is how the job is done. 21 EXT. KROGER SHOPPING CENTER - NIGHT 21
Bruiser see's Jen the very next night at work. She walked out, gives him a huge hug, and has a cup of coffee with me. MONTAGE The nights passed, winter finally changes into spring. They went out more, together out after work, Bruiser goes over to Jen's house and make her roommates jealous, Jen would come out with his friends and make them jealous, They go to parties and spend long weekends wrapped up and worn out in each other. Spring slowly turns into summer. They were having cake and eating it too. END MONTAGE
61. 21 INT. COFFEE SHOP- NIGHT 21
It was a cool night for the end of spring and Bruiser was running ahead of schedule and decided to stop in for coffee and was going over the log sheet for that night when Bryce walked into the station. BRYCE Hey Bruiser, What's going on? BRUISER Not much man, Just looking over the rest of my night. BRYCE Leeme see here. Bryce reads over the sheet. BRYCE (CONT’D) Oh man this place looks new. BRUISER Yeah , haven't had it before. I'm about to head there now in case it's really hosed up. BRYCE So... you've never been there? Nope. Why? BRUISER
BRYCE Oh, no reason. Bryce gets a huge grin on his face. BRUISER No ,not tonight. You tell me what the fuck is out there Bryce. BRYCE Well a lady by the name of Lucy is out there. If you're lucky, you'll meet her. BRUISER Whatever Bryce. I'll see you later. BRYCE Oh, I'm counting on it.
Bruiser shrugs him off and heads to the place. It's a run down grocery store and a barren strip mall at the edge of town. At this point about 20 degrees outside, and Bruiser is doing his once-around the property. He pulls up to the front of the property, turns on the leaf blowers, and masks up. It was sometime in between driving around and getting equipment that he failed to notice an African American woman leaning against one of the brick columns. She doesn't look like a crack head, didn't look like she was carrying a gun, and was dressed normally for the weather. So, he goes about sweeper duties and finish blowing out the curb lines and hop back in my truck. It has now been 15 minutes since he pulled onto the property, and that woman is still there. He sweeps the entire lot in 30 minutes, and that woman is Still there. Now concerned about her and being in the area that Bruiser's in he pulls up, hops out, and walks over. BRUISER Ma'am are you alight? It's awful cold out here, and I noticed you've been standing here for a while. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. LUCY Oh yes, honey I'm fine... Just waiting. Bruiser was about 15 feet away and doesn't notice anything wrong, so he shrugs it off and starts back for the truck. She calls him and turns around. LUCY (CONT’D) Oh sweetie, do you have a light? I can't seem to find mine. The woman waves a cigarette in the air and smiles at Bruiser. He walks back towards her and closes within 5 feet, and something isn't right. A primal alarm bell went off in his head, but it was too late. The first thing Bruiser noticed was her Man-Hands first. He flicks the lighter, and when she bends down to light her cigarette, the final piece of this puzzle fell into place. LUCY (CONT’D) Thanks for the light. Bruiser makes a B-line for the truck when Lucy calls out to him.
CONTINUED: (2) LUCY (CONT’D) Hey you ever take a walk on the wild side baby? BRUISER No thanks, I need to work. LUCY Well baby, Fifteen dollars and you could ride me all night long! BRUISER Ma'am please, I need to get going.
And Lucy voice changes to what could only be described as a mix of Charlton Heston, Prince, and Barry White. LUCY I ain't no ma'am. Bruiser gets back into his truck and high tales it out of there. He drives into the night to his last stop of the night. 21B EXT. EMPTY SHOPPING STRIP - CONTINUOUS 21B
Bruiser finishes up his night trying to forget Lucy and the trauma that came with it. Bruiser was checking the curb when he hears a very proper British Voice behind him. NAKED HIKER Pardon me, sir. A chill shots up his spine. BRUISER GAH! What?! Bruiser turns around to realize that there was a well groomed man with an expensive hiking backpack behind him. Naked. NAKED HIKER Very sorry, but I was wondering if you could point me to Interstate 24. BRUISER No problem, It's about a mile down this street. Which way are you headed? NAKED HIKER West towards Interstate 40.
CONTINUED: BRUISER Yeah you're going to want to take the Nashville exit. It's about 25 miles to I-40 exit. NAKED HIKER Very good, thank you for your time! BRUISER Yeah, no problem.
Bruiser turns back around to the truck and pauses a moment to ask why a naked British man was hiking the interstate system in Middle TN. He turns to ask him. Say whyBRUISER (CONT’D)
But he was gone. He run around the back of the building looking for the hiker. Nothing. He couldn't have gone far, so Bruiser checks some other places, but he just vanished just as quickly as he appeared. Bruiser walks around the front of the building to finish changing cans. There is a 20 dollar bill wedged under the corner of the can that wasn't there before. He picks it up and see's tiny writing on the edge. "Thanks for the directions, Mate." Bruiser pockets it and drives off muttering to himself BRUISER (CONT’D) I'll just have to forget tonightA quick flash of his encounter with Lucy flashes in his head. BRUISER (CONT’D) Yeah. All of it. 22 INT. JAMES HOUSE - NOON 22
Being that the job was during third shift nearly 7 days a week, there isn't a lot of time for being social. Well Bruiser finally gets a real weekend off and decides to see some long lost friends. They met up at James house and just starts partying at noon. Six hours and 3 kegs later, they were still rocking. Well, the night gets interesting when Dave shows up. Dave is a prick. He's in his late 20's and is walking around when he spots Bruiser on the driveway. Dave walks up to him waving a Rolling Rock in his face.
CONTINUED: DAVE So it's been a while since we've seen you Bruiser. BRUISER Yeah , finally got a weekend off. DAVE Run out of trash to pick up? Watch it. BRUISER
Dave turns to his Sea-Donkey of a girlfriend DAVE Yeah, this guy actually picks up shit I throw down. (She laughs semisarcastically ) I know right!? BRUISER Ha! You're a fucking riot Dave. I'd stop if I were you. At this point Jen has come to Bruisers side and has gathered a majority of the party's attention. DAVE What are you going to doDave at this point channeled the scene from Top-gun. DAVE (CONT’D) What are you going to do... Garbage (Brushes Bruiser's shoulder) Man? BRUISER Don't you drive a Subaru Baja? Dave throws his bottle down in front of Bruiser. DAVE Aren't you going to pick that up? Something deep within Bruiser's soul brakes loose. Every fiber of being ran taught with rage.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER You're funny Dave. I'll see you later. DAVE That's what I thought. Have fun picking up garbage! Garbage man! Maybe I drive a Baja, but at least I don't drive a garbage truck!
Bruiser goes back to his group of friends not worried because he had already had a plan. 23 EXT. EMPTY PARKING LOT - NIGHT 23
Two days go by at work, the first night was rainy as hell and spent many hours picking up as much garbage water as he possibly could. Now that summer was in full swing Bruiser let the truck steep in the hot sun during the day. 23A EXT. STRIPMALL - BEHIND MEXICAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT 23A
The next night bruiser goes out to the next nights property that had a Mexican place. He then proceeds to throw as much rotting beef into the back of the hopper. He disposed of the gloves and hopped back into the truck and made his way to the destination. Right to where Dave lives. He kills the lights when pulling onto Dave's street. Slowly creeping up, pulled around, and backed up to the front of his Subaru Baja. He raises the hopper and rancid out of the back. He puts a face for the hopper door. The entire forth the most disgusting thing of the senses. garbage water started pouring mask on and hit the release back end opens up and vomited ever seen. It rapes every one
The car is buried in rancid beef-garbage soup. Dave's sunroof was open. Bruiser fixes up his truck and drives back to HQ and heads home. 24 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON Bruiser's phone ring at 2 p.m. BRUISER I'm asleep. 24
CONTINUED: DAVE ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKER! I KNOW YOU DID IT! YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING PAY! BRUISER What the fuck are you talking about Dave? DAVE YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT! MY CAR IS COVERED IN GARBAGE AND ROTTING MEAT! BRUISER I thought you owned a truck. DAVE It's both a car and a truck, asshole. BRUISER It wasn't me. If it'll make you feel better, I'll come over and take a look. DAVE You'll come over and clean it up! BRUISER I can't hear you. Spit the dick out of your mouth. (Hangs up)
Bruiser rolls over and goes back to sleep and continues to do so till 6pm. After taking his time getting ready and strolls over to Dave's. 25 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET-IN FRONT OF DAVE'S PLACE-EVENING 25
When he pulls up he could see that Dave has cleaned up most of the garbage and was using a pressure washer to hose out the inside of the car. He parks off to the side and hops out. BRUISER It doesn't look that bad. DAVE I'm going to have you arrested! For what? BRUISER
CONTINUED: Vandalism! DAVE
BRUISER I don't see any vandalism. DAVE It was covered in garbage and rotting beef! You vandalized my car! BRUISER So what you're saying is , you cleaned up all the evidence. DAVE (staring at bruiser realizing what he did.) BRUISER Good one Dave! DAVE This is your fault! Bruiser turns the pressure washer off, walks up close to Dave, and grabs him by his collar. BRUISER Look, asshole. You need to realize that the mark of a man is not what he does for a living or what he drives or how much money his parents make. You've been given everything to you on a silver platter like it was your goddamn birthright. Everything I have, everything my parents have, we all had to work our asses off. At the end of my workday , I have a beer and look at myself covered head to toe in grime. And you know what? I feel good. I feel good because I know I put in a hard day's work and that I earned my keep. What the fuck do YOU do after work? DAVE I-I-I don't have a job. BRUISER That's what I thought.
CONTINUED: (2) He let's Dave go and starts to walk off. He stops, turns around, and point right through Dave. BRUISER (CONT’D) You're lucky who ever did this was so nice. I know people that would have snapped you neck like a fucking twig. Think about that next time you feel like looking down your nose at someone.
Bruiser gets into his car, starts the engine and drives off. Bruiser leans out of the window on the way out. BRUISER (CONT’D) By the way, Nice Fucking Baja Asshole! 26 INT. COFFEE SHOP- NIGHT 26
Bruiser is sitting with Bryce mindlessly chatting when Bryce sends out a proposition. BRYCE You want to help us clean up the streets? BRUISER Next time you want to use a pun, just shoot me in the leg and be done with it. BRYCE Well, it turns out the city in their infinite wisdom , was going to be setting up an inner city preschool right across from where Lucy hangs out. The cops were trying to clean up the area to make it safer for the children. It turns out that Lucy, the tranny call girl she is kind of poses a threat to children. We can bust him in trespassing , but we need something like solicitation to make it stick. BRUISER (Gasping) You mean ti tell me she's a he?! Nooooo. Get out of town.
CONTINUED: BRYCE Let's just sat that... Evidence...Supports... it... HAHAHAHAHA! BRUISER Enough! What do you want from me? BRYCE Well, we need to use you as bait. When you pick her up, we'll roll in and bust her. BRUISER That's not going to work. BRYCE And why not? BRUISER Two reasons. One , I'm not having it on the books that I picked up a tranny call girl. Two unless you put a wire on me to record the actual 'Hey get in the car and let's fuck' portion of the conversation your solicitation won't hold up in court. BRYCE Alright 21 jump street, how do you know so much? BRUISER I own all of Miami Vice on DVD. You card. BRYCE
BRUISER He's there every night. You use my truck, pick him up and then you bust him. It should take all of 2 minutes. You put away your tranny, I get to work for the rest of the night. BRYCE Deal, Meet me across the street behind that other strip mall around 1 am tomorrow night.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER You got it.
Tomorrow night comes around Bruiser shows up at the appointed time, Bryce is there in plain clothes with a few other cops. He get's out and toss Bryce the keys. BRUISER (CONT’D) There you go. BRYCE Thanks man! BRUISER Just be sure to return it with a full tank. Maybe take her for a wash. BRYCE You're Hilarious. BRUISER That's why they pay me the big bucks. Bryce starts it up, and drives across the street. About 10 minutes later, Lucy walks around from behind the corner. You can barely see what's going on from the hiding spot across the street, but eventually Lucy gets into the truck, and the cops make their way across the street. Bruiser was told to stay back when they rolled in just in case something happened. The truck pulled in. On go the cop lights. Out tumbles Lucy. COPS Freeze, Don't move! On the ground! Bruiser is just staring in amazement. Neat! BRUISER
Bryce gets out, Lucy is just staring at the scene with his hands up. BRYCE GET ON THE GROUND! LUCY But you said that you would love baby!
CONTINUED: (3) BRYCE ON THE GROUND! LUCY 'Dis is bullshit! 'Dis is entrapment! BRYCE Can it. I'm going to read you your right. You have the righLUCY I know I know. Pssshhh. I thought I was gonna get some dick tonight. Bryce continues reading the rights. BRYCE Do you understand you rights? LUCY Yeah. Yeah. BRYCE Good. Cooperate with us and we can work something out. LUCY For some dick? BRYCE ...Watch you head when you get in the car.
Bruiser gets his keys back, got a thank you from the cops, and was sent on his way. Bruiser is driving along and grabs a pack of smokes from the dash and out looks for his lighter. He finds his pack of cigarettes from his jacket. Turns out Lucy smoked the same brand of cigarette he does and left a full pack in the truck. Bruiser quickly throws threw them out. 27 INT. BRUISER'S APT - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON 27
It was a sunny afternoon. Bruiser and Jen lay in the bed and were wrapped up in each other. Bruiser? Yes? JEN BRUISER
CONTINUED: JEN If I tell you something, do you promise not to freak out? Of course BRUISER
A multitude of things begin to run through his head. From "Oh god she's pregnant" to "oh god, there's another guy." JEN I love you. Bruiser is left stunned. He had never heard that before. Jen rolls over. JEN (CONT’D) Say something. Bruiser run's his finger thought her hair BRUISER I love you too. They lay there for the rest of the day. In each other's arms. 28 EXT. SHOPPING CENTER - FIREWORKS BOOTH/PODS UNIT- NIGHT 28
Bruiser pulls into the lot and see's a tent set up for fireworks. The tent in question had the idea of using a PODS unit to lock everything up overnight. Bruiser hears a couple of loud bangs over by the POD and cruises over to the tent to find some kids robbing the PODS unit. They were in all black except for a bright red bandana. The had used a hammer to bash through the front and open the door. Fireworks are splayed out everywhere in front of the unit. Caught red- handed, the kids bolt. Bruiser calls out the local PD and send a unit over. Not before leaving they threw a lit cigarette into the PODS unit. I saw smoke start to roll out of the unit, and watches from a distance. Within minutes Fireworks, smoke bombs, Everything in the unit went up at once in a maelstrom of gunpowder and color. It continues to go on like this for a 10 minutes. The cops show up, looked at the situation, and call the fire department. They had no choice to let it burn out.
After the fire dies out and the fire crew depart Bruiser takes solace that he had seen a WWII reenactment right in front of him. He takes his leave as well to meet Mike at the last stop of the night. 28A EXT. WALGREENS LOT-BEHIND A SMALL DINNER- CONTINUOUS 28A
Finishing up the lot and the story of what had happened a few hours ago Mike and Bruiser were sweeping behind the Walgreens center that had a small diner. Hiding behind the dumpster sitting in it's glory, was a box of restaurant size cans of nacho cheese. BRUISER What to have some fun? Of course. MIKE
BRUISER How does 25 cans of nacho cheese sound? MIKE I bet it would look awesome if we ran over them. BRUISER Exploding can's of cheese! MIKE Exploding cans of cheese. Get to the front and set one up. They run to the front and set up one of the huge cans sideways about 20 yards from Mike inside the truck. BRUISER Okay, let'er rip! Mike guns the engine and hits the can at 30 miles an hour. *POP* The can exploded, cheese going everywhere over the truck. MIKE Muhahaha! Nice! BRUISER My turn. Set up 5 in a row. Mike set them up, and he floors it, and hits the cans at 50 miles and hour. POP-POP-POP-POP-POP!! A giant tidal wave of cheese hits Bruiser's truck.
Dead cans became trapped under it, leaving a trail of sparks behind him. This continues on for the next 10 minutes. Two grown men giggling like school girls at exploding cans of cheese. They didn't realize that the can's sounded like gunfire and the apartment complex right in front of them had dialed the police. A cop had pulled around behind the store right as Mike hit another can. From his angle, he couldn't see where the sound was coming from. He bolted out of his car. COP DROP THE WEAPON! Bruiser and Mike quickly turn around to see the officer had drawn his weapon. The cop looks around quickly and see the trucks covered in Nacho cheese. COP (CONT’D) What the hell? BRUISER Exploding cans of Nacho cheese, sir. ...Why? COP
MIKE They won't go into the truck, so we have to run them over to save space. EPA and company regulations. My hands are tied. No guns? No guns MIKE COP BRUISER
No guns COP (CONT’D)
The cop turns and drives off. MIKE We still have like half the case.
CONTINUED: (2) Set'em up! BRUISER
The night eventually ends, and they drive the trucks back to HQ. It turns out that the wash-bay was down for repairs so they had to leave a maintenance slip. 28B INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - AFTERNOON 28B
Boss lady is at her desk when one of the mechanics come in with work slips. Yes? BOSS LADY
MECHANIC Well I got this order and thought you should see it before I do anything to it. He hands over the two work slips and she smiles to her self as she reads through them. DRIVER: Bruiser TRUCK: The one covered in nacho cheese. REPAIR REQUESTED: I can't see out of the windshield very well. NOTES: You should have been there. DRIVER: Mike TRUCK: The other one covered in nacho cheese. REPAIR REQUESTED: Ditto NOTES: Yeah, it was pretty bitchin'! BOSS LADY Go ahead, Ill take care of this one later. She keeps the orders as he leaves the office and opens a file drawer and puts them under a file labeled "Kick ass" and continues to work quietly laughing to here self. Bruiser stops a Robbery: Bruiser pulls up to the same shady area that the Naked hiker incident took place. Everything is normal as things could be for the job. Bruiser jumps out of the truck and makes a reach for the leaf blowers when noise echoes behind the building. Like glass bottles breaking against the pavement.
Thinking it was only teens Bruiser eases the truck around the corner, killed the lights, and got back out. He grabs an tire iron just in case and goes for a look. Instead of finding a group of teenagers, he finds short guy dressed like a ninja trying to get into the back door of a Christian teen center. At this point the thief didn't see Bruiser. He quickly ducks around to the next dumpster and skirted behind the guy. He was closing when his foot crunched on a shard of glass. The thief turns around very slowly and just stare at each other for what seems like forever. Finally getting his wits about him Bruiser shouts the only thing he could think of. BRUISER FREEZE SCUMBAG! The Thief is blocked to the left by a dumpster and a AC unit on the right. Bruiser is standing in the way of escape. The guy makes a charge and the fight is on. He lands a shoulder into Bruisers chest, trying to pull a spin move to get around me. I rear back and jam the handle of the tire iron under his rib cage. And just like that, the fight was done. He crumpled to the ground like a sack of bricks. Bruiser rolls him over and put a knee into his chest and takes off the ski mask. THEIF GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! BRUISER No way cockstain. He was using full force to keep this guy down. Eventually he just resigned when he realized there was no real way out. THEIF You a cop?! BRUISER Nope. You just got busted by a a street sweeper. How that feel? Apparently it didn't make him feel too good THEIF GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!
Bruiser reaches in his back pocket and grabs his phone. He his Bryce on speed dial. BRYCE Bryceman, Go. BRUISER YOU NEED TO GET TO CROSSINGS! I'VE GOT A THEIF PINNED BEHIND THE STORE! BRYCE Be there in two, I'll try to get you some backup sooner! BRUISER Hurry it up, this guy is pissed (hangs up phone) Aren't cha sweetheart? He started struggling again so Bruiser knocks his head into the asphalt. BRUISER (CONT’D) Stop struggling. THEIF I'LL KILL YOU! Bruiser gives him a quick shot to the head. BRUISER Stop struggling. THEIF I'M GOING TO SLIT YOU GODDAMN THROAT! He gives him a harder shot in the head. BRUISER Motherfucker , Look. I don't have any qualms about beating you to death. I'll claim self defence and be a hero. Stop struggling. THEIF YOU'RE FUCKING NUTS! BRUISER HAHAHA! Yes! Yes I am!
The look of fear in his eye's is as if he's staring death in the face. The cavalry shows up with lights and siren blasting. Bryce and crew drew down on us and told me it was okay to roll off of him and step back. They pick the guy up and a switchblade and baggie fall out of his back pocket. BRYCE Uh-oh, someone just racked up more charges. THEIF That guy assaulted me! I want him arrested! Bryce and the cops look at him and pause. BRYCE HAHAHAHA!!! Good one! Get in the fucking car. Bruiser gives a statement and Bryce and the backup unit rolls out. Bruiser looks at my watch. There is still had an entire night's worth of work in front of him. 29 EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT 29
As observed before the quality of the equipment was bad at best. The trucks, like an old loyal workhorse that had seen better days, were ready to be put out to pasture. Bruiser was out at the mall doing the sweeper man duties when he starts blowing off the curbs. He throws the truck in park and goes to it. He starts working when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. The truck was moving without him in it. It had a slight lead on Bruiser, and runs after it. Throwing open threw it back it park. The truck into drive. No big deal, He just Brake. so he drops the leaf blower the door, jumps in, and had slipped out of park and parks it and engaged the E-
He finishes with the leaf blowers, hops back into the truck, and hauls ass to finish up the property.
Somewhere in the middle of Hauling and Ass, the control arm brakes, locking the steering in the hard left position, sending the truck in circles. BRUISER You have to be fucking kidding me. Saying to no one in particular. He radios in about the problem. BRUISER (CONT’D) You're not going to believe this. MIKE I'll believe anything once. You were propositioned by a tranny, I believed that. BRUISER Not the time dad. MIKE What's the problem? BRUISER The damn steering in the truck is out. I'm going to need to get a lift back to the shop. MIKE Alright try and find a place to leave it, I'll be there in twenty. He hits the gas and tries to heave the wheel over, but no dice. I tried one more time when the night got a little worse. The truck wasn't stopping. The accelerator was stuck at about 5 miles an hour. He was now doing low speed doughnuts in a street sweeper. In the space of 30 seconds, Bruiser brakes the door handle and snaps the key off in the ignition. Knowing that the burger that was sitting in his stomach was going to come up in a big way. But suddenly, a moment of clarity hits Bruiser. This was the truck's Swan Song. After this, there would be no more. Doing the only thing he could for his poor truck. Bruiser lets her go out with a bang.
He wretched on the throttle control for the blower motor, pulled it out to the point it broke in the full "on" position. He slams the E-Brake stopping long enough to grab his stuff and bail out. He got back on the radio. BRUISER You better get here if you want to see the show. MIKE What's going? BRUISER You'll see. Oh... You'll see The next call was to Bryce. At this point, The E-Brake was screaming, smoking, and about to let go. BRUISER (CONT’D) Do you have time to kill? BRYCE Gee, let me check with Mr. Clancy here. Yes. Yes I do. BRUISER Meet me at the mall. I'm having a funeral for my truck. BRYCE There in five. Bruiser opens his bag and pulls out a coke, popped it open, and had a seat on the asphalt. The brake let go and the truck resumed it's spiral into oblivion. Since the Blower motor taps off of the main fuel line, and this was the last stop for the night, It would be a matter of 45 minutes before she was dry. Mike finally shows up. Cool. MIKE
BRUISER (tossing a coke) I know right? MIKE I'd say this is it for the old girl.
CONTINUED: (3) I know. BRUISER
Bryce was the next to show up. BRYCE This is the most awesome thing I've ever seen. BRUISER Have a coke. This is the last show for the girl. MIKE Damn good truck. Damn good. BRUISER
And it goes on like this for 40 minutes. Three men standing there, sipping a coke, and just watching the old girl whine out her last ballad. Eventually, the blower motor let go, sending smoke pouring out of the rear stack. She finally ran out of gas and sputtered to a stop, hidden behind a cloud of steam and smoke. She let out one last rattling gasp. And just like that, she was gone. Bruiser lites a cigarette and threw a salute. BRUISER (CONT’D) That'll do girl. That'll do. MIKE Thanks for keeping my son safe all those long nights. Thanks for all the laughs. BRYCE I'll admit it. I got a little teary eyed. BRUISER Thanks. For everything. They called the company wrecker, and they picked up the truck. That week, she was stripped for parts and sent to a scrap heap. 30 INT. BRUISER'S APT - MORNING The Summer is winding down, and the fall was beginning to come back. Bruiser walks into his apartment after a nights work to find Jen sitting at the table. 30
CONTINUED: BRUISER Morning beautiful! Let me garb a shower and I'll get to work on some breakfast. JEN We need to talk.
It was the statement more than it was the tone. All of the air was sucked out of the room. BRUISER What's wrong ? I... I... JEN
And she starts to cry. JEN (CONT’D) I found out that my mom is sick and I have to go back home to take care of my brothers. And... and I don't think I'll be able to come back for a long time. I love you so much. BRUISER I love you. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you. Family is important and I will miss you every second of everyday. They spend the rest of the day together now knowing that there is a timeline to their relationship. Jen was leaving in a few days. He helped her pack the old VW, and they were standing out in her driveway. BRUISER (CONT’D) Call me when you get out on the road. JEN And when I get home. BRUISER And everyday. She wraps her arms around him, kissed one long and sweet kiss, she looked dead in his eyes with that smile.
CONTINUED: (2) JEN I love you.
With tears streaming down her face, she got into the car, and started it up. Before she pulled out, she steals a line from Castaway and shouts, JEN (CONT’D) I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! Bruiser drank like there was tomorrow. 31 EXT. DOVER CROSSING - PARKING LOT - NIGHT 31
Bruiser finds himself working in a particularly rich part of town and almost finished for the night when he see's 5 emo kids walking out of the grocery store. These teenagers were wearing very tight hooded sweatshirts, hoods up with graphics advertising some band no one had never heard of. They wore jeans that were purchased from the women's department store. Footware consisted of converse sneakers spray painted various colors and written on in marker. Hair Uncut and in an "emo slash". Bruiser stops to let them through on the crosswalk, and they just stand there. Staring at him. Laughing and pointing. They proceed to throw an entire bag of fast food garbage down on the pavement. Right in front of him. Fuck you! EMO TEENS
Bruiser goes from calm to hell fury on the drop of a hat. He revs the engine and started to pop the truck at them. The look of sheer terror crosses their faces. It's the look of "What the fuck did we just do". James had served two tours in Iraq driving M1-A1's manning the 50 cal. When he came home, he presented the goggles that he wore as a gift. Bruiser uses those goggles to keep the dust out of his eyes every night since he got them. He leans out of the window, turned his ball cap backward, and pushed the goggles over his eyes. They did the only thing they could think of. They run across the huge parking lot, but constricted by the tight pants they could only move so fast.
Bruiser caught up to them and performs a textbook dust off. I.e. seperating the hopper from the intakes just enough to let forth a cloud of dust equal to a biblical plague. He zipped by them at a brisk 40 miles an hour, dusting them out and leaving them coughing and rubbing their eyes behind me. He swings back around, shut down the truck, and in goggles and all bellowed at the top of his lungs BRUISER AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER THOSE WHO WOULD ATTEMPT TO POISON AND DESTROY MY BROTHERS. AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE! The few patrons in the parking lot started applauding, He takes a bow, flipped off the still coughing teenagers, and roars off into the night. 32 INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK - DRIVING - CONTINUOUS 32
Bruiser fresh from his dust off of the Emo teen is cruising along in his new truck when he gets a call from JD. JD is one of the many good friends of his had just graduated from Nashville Auto Diesel College (NADC) a few weeks ago. Put Simply he knew about all things automotive. JD Bruiser! Hey , they gave you a new truck right? BRUISER Well as new as they come. JD What kind is it? BRUISER It's a 04 Chevy chassis, 100k on the odo. JD Heavy Duty? Of course. BRUISER
JD Are you finished with work for tonight?
CONTINUED: BRUISER Well being that a rouge low pressure is spinning over hear, kicking up 30 miles an hour winds, dumping rain so hard the entire area is under a flash flood warning. Yes. Yes I am. JD So your not doing anything. BRUISER Riding the clock like a two dollar whore. JD Swing by my house.
Bruiser quickly finishes up the last remaining cans and sped over to JD's place. The garage door opened up and he motioned him in. They shake hands and shoot the shit for a few minutes. And then he looked at Bruiser conspiratorially. 32A INT. JD'S HOUSE- GARAGE - CONTINUOUS JD I want you to take a look at something. BRUISER Sure what is it? JD throws a cloth back along his work bench. Under it was a set of devices. JD These babies connect to the computer in you truck and let me... do stuff. BRUISER Do stuff? Are you going to rape my truck JD? JD No... uhh yeah no. This one will let me adjust things like your fuel injection system and these do other things you don't know about. I just got them off of Ebay and I'm dying to try them out. 32A
CONTINUED: BRUISER Cute. But what's the point? JD I want to make you go fast. BRUISER I like the way you think. JD One more thing. He pulls out a box and lifts up a cold air intake. BRUISER What the fuck? JD This is off my old truck. It's close, but I can make this work for yours. BRUISER How long will all of this take? JD The tuning won't take long at all. I can finish it before you head out tonight. That storm isn't moving off anytime soon and there is more moving up from the Gulf. Odds are it will be the same tomorrow night. Show back up and I'll drop this in there for you.
And that's exactly how it happens. Bruiser cooks his books on the logs, smoked cigarettes, and relaxed the rest of the night. Tomorrow rolls around, the rain didn't move off and the wind kept the properties fairly clean. Bruisers shows up, repeats the night before. Finally JD looked up at Bruiser from under the hood. Mwahahaha! JD (CONT’D)
BRUISER She's done? JD Let's take her out.
They both hop in and the truck roars to life. Bruiser jams down on the gas and the truck screams down JD's neighborhood. They took it out on the interstate and reached a hair under a buck ten. With the night winding down and half the fuel tank gone Bruiser gives his thanks to JD and brings in the truck for the night. Little did he know, he would need everything this truck had the next night. 33 EXT. WALGREENS LOT - NIGHT 33
It had been two days since JD tuned Bruisers truck. Other than burning through fuel at a phenomenal rate, He didn't really get a chance to use the truck to her full potential. Running his short route on a Friday, desperately wanting the weekend. He pull's onto one of his lots. BRUISER You have GOT to be fucking kidding me. The entire place was covered in cars Loud music, flashing lights, there must have been about 100 teenagers. To say that he got looks is like saying that the Pacific Ocean is damp. Bruiser parks in the middle of them all and gets out. RACING TEEN Can I help you sir? BRUISER TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER! RACING TEEN Excuse me sir? BRUISER Christ knock off the sir, I'm 20. RACING TEEN You look a lot older. BRUISER I've been living hard. Who's in charge? RACING TEEN I guess that would be Brent. He's up front in the red civic hatchback. BRUISER Thanks for your help. You get to live.
CONTINUED: What!? Nothing. RACING TEEN BRUISER
Bruiser hops back in and rolls over to the red Civic hatchback. It was your standard Ricer affair. Red paint, huge fucking muffler , stickers for things that he didn't have under the hood, and gauges that serve no purpose. He hops back out and walked up to the biggest douche ever seen. This kid has three pastel collared shirts. All of them were popped. You Brent? Depends. BRUISER (CONT’D) BRENT
BRUISER (sigh) Fine, I'll play. What does it depend on? BRENT Who wants to know? BRUISER Your friendly neighborhood street sweeper. I'm here to tell you that you, that hunk of shit you drive and all of your friends are going to leave. Excuse me? BRENT
BRUISER I know you're dumb but are you deaf too Brent? Fuck off BRENT
BRUISER No, I don't believe I will. BRENT Do you know who my father is?
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER Brent, I could give a good god damn who your father is. I don't care is he's the savior Lord Jesus Christ himself risen from the dead to deliver us from evil. You're going to leave one way or the other. BRENT I'd like to see you try. BRUISER Well, I could make a phone call and have the law run you off. But you know what? I've got a better idea. I'll race you down Main, around the square and back out again. You win, I'll leave you alone for the night. I win, you and your friends hit the fucking bricks. BRENT You got to be shitting me. BRUISER I may be many things Scooter, But I most certainly am not shitting you. BRENT You're racing with what? THAT?!
At this point Bruiser had rolled down the window and clipped a Jolly Roger window flag to the truck. BRUISER Yehar! Har Har Harrrrr BRENT You're nuts. BRUISER Yeah pretty much. LET'S GO! The scene was almost comical if Brent wasn't so serious about it. His souped up Civic vs Bruiser's lumbering beast of cleaning prowess. They were revving the engines at the exit of the parking lot. A scantily clad young lady walked between the two of them with a handkerchief. Bruiser rolls down his window and tied a black bandanna around my head. BRUISER (CONT’D) MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
CONTINUED: (3) BRENT You're not going to be laughing for very long!
Bruiser reaches over and flips on the blinky light on top of the truck. BRUISER Prepare to meet your maker yuppie scum! The chick drops the handkerchief and the race was on. Due to the weight differences between the two vehicles, the Civic got the early jump on Bruiser. Broad St is just as the name implies, Long and wide. Bruiser drops the hammer. The cold air intake was ramming fresh air to the beast under the hood. He hit 90 and she kept climbing. I was pulling up on his rear quarter panel. We caught the green at the corner of Broad and Main, and took the sharp left to the square. He then finds out that his truck corners like a drunk elephant and lost some ground. They speed around the square and approached Broad again. Not wanting to be too dangerous, they stop at the red light. Well, Broad St has three lanes to each side. Brent was taking up the right most lane, Bruiser was in the middle, and a Police officer pulled up next to me in the left. Because of the direction he approached and the size of his truck, the poor boy next to me didn't see the Officer. I revved my engine and looks over at Scooter. PUSSY! BRUISER (CONT’D)
It was the perfect set up. He furrowed his brow and stomped on the gas. Before the light changed. He tore ass down the road and the Officer was not far behind him. The light turned green and Bruiser rolls slowly by the now pulled over Civic. The officer shot Bruiser a wave and went back to writing the kid a ticket. He pulled back into the lot much to the dismay of his friends. The general look of the crowd could only be summed up as Shock and Awe. Bruiser starts his sweeper duties with everyone just staring at him. About 5 minutes later, the cop shows up, lights ablaze, and got over the PA system from the car.
CONTINUED: (4) COP CHILDREN GO HOME! YOUR LEADER WAS BEATEN BY A STREET SWEEPER! YOU ARE SHAMED! LEAVE OR BE ARRESTED , I WILL IMPOUND YOU SHIT! Bruiser was in tears along the curb line. Cars started speeding out and dispersing when the officer pulled up. COP (CONT’D) Hey, nice set up back there. BRUISER Thanks, I'm here to help clean the streets COP Nice! Just do me a favor. Next time you go down Broad at 3:30 in the morning, let's make sure it's not at 97 miles an hour. BRUISER No problem sir!
INT. BRUISER'S APT - AFTERNOON
A couple weeks went by, Bruiser and Jen talked and emailed every single day. Her mom was getting better, and she going to be able to come back up in a few months. And one day, the calls stopped, and the emails and so did the letters. A week went by with unanswered calls and letters. And then His phone rang. Hello? BRUISER
His voice was raspy on the other end from too much booze and too little sleep. JAKE Yeah is Bruiser there? Speaking. BRUISER
JAKE Hi, this is Jake. I'm Jen's father.
CONTINUED: BRUISER Oh hello sir! I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to talk beJAKE Bruiser. Listen to me. ...Yes BRUISER
JAKE Listen son. I'm so sorry we had to... I'm sorry the first time we spoke had to be a time like this. ... BRUISER
JAKE Son, Jenny was coming home last week. And... Jake's voice begins to break up. Tears start to swell up in Bruisers eyes but his voice is cold as steel. Yes, sir. BRUISER
JAKE What I'm trying to say is that Jen was hit by a drunk driver on her way home from work. I'm so sorry. The entire world stops. Fighting everything his body is doing Bruiser does not cry. BRUISER Why didn't anyone call me? JAKE It's been hell son. We didn't know until we looked through her phone. I'm so.... I'm so damn sorry. She loved you. She loved you so much, you were good to her and for that I owe you my life. BRUISER Thank you sir.
CONTINUED: (2) JAKE Listen, here's my number. Please call me as soon as you're available to come down. I would like to meet you. I will. BRUISER
JAKE I'm sorry Bruiser. BRUISER Goodbye sir. One of the things she hammered Bruiser about was going back to school. FLASHBACK TO: 34A INT. BRUISER'S APT - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON BRUISER They won't take me back! JEN You don't know that! BRUISER Whatever... silly girl. BACK TO PRESENT: After He hung up with Jen's father, Bruiser was in a haze. For some reason, He checked the mail. One letter was in the box. "DEAR BRUISER: Congratulations on your re-enrollment for the....." Bruiser just bursts into tears and laughter. Jen sent the application off without telling him. 35 INT. BRUISER'S APT - MORNING 35 34A
Bruiser calls his closest circle of friends and took shelter for the weekend. He gets a knock on the door at 9 am on Saturday. It was James with a handle of Crown Royal. He is about the same size as Bruiser and a war vet. JAMES How are you?
CONTINUED: His voice devoid of all emotion. BRUISER She's gone. JAMES I know man. I'm here Thanks BRUISER
No words were said for hours. Just drinking, chain smoking, and listening to Rock music 2 clicks past way too loud. Eventually, more friends showed up. They drank, and yelled, and drank, and cried, and drank, and laughed, and drank. They plowed through liquor like it was going to be the end of the world. At the conclusion of the weekend, Bruiser dried up, washed up, and that was it. That's how he grieved. 36 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - EVENING 36
Since Bruiser was slated to go back to school, he walked into the office with a resignation letter in hand. He taps on the Boss' door. BOSS LADY Come in, Bruiser. Hi, Boss BRUISER
BOSS LADY I heard about you girlfriend, I'm so sorry. Thank you. BRUISER
Bruiser Slides the letter across the desk. BOSS LADY Going back to school? BRUISER Yes I am. This is my two weeks. BOSS LADY Good. You don't belong here. BRUISER Uhh, Thanks?
CONTINUED: BOSS LADY What I mean is that everyone comes into this job is either going down or coming up. It takes longer for some to come back up than others. You're one of the best and you'll be missed. Thanks. BRUISER
Bruiser walks out and Jim was waiting outside the break room. JIM You're leaving? Yeah. BRUISER
JIM So, that means you have two full weeks left? BRUISER That's the short of it. JIM This is going to be fun. BRUISER What do you mean? JIM You can do whatever you want out there without anyone doing shit. What are they going to do? Fire you? BRUISER ... You bring up a good point. Bruiser grabs his gear and got ready for the night. He starts up the truck and Jim's words echoed in my head. You can do whatever you want without anyone doing shit. ... Whatever you want. 37 INT. BRUISER'S HUMMER - DRIVING - EVENING 37
A few days have passed since giving in his two weeks and has a plan to deal with a growing problem.
CONTINUED: In the recent weeks leading into Bruiser leaving the had been having a growing issue with a group of Goth hanging out at one of the properties. One night they his truck. Another night, they destroyed the parking it took 2 hours to do a half hour job.
97. 37 job, he kids egged lot and
Bruiser had been taking it easy on account to the fact the Jen was trying to tone him down a little bit. Now that she was gone he let loose with all guns blazing. Bruiser calls up James, the one who was in the Army. JAMES Bruiser you nut, what's going on man? BRUISER Remember when you told me that you had some things... left over ... from your last tour. JAMES Maayyybbeeeee... What are you looking for? BRUISER How about I just meet you at your place. JAMES No problem, I'll be here for a few more hours. It was a few hours before his shift and Bruiser rolls over to James's house. He gabbed with his wife for a little bit and James and Bruiser eventually ended up in his garage. JAMES (CONT’D) So what are you looking for? Smokers. Wow. BRUISER JAMES
BRUISER I wanted to see what you had. James pulls a box from under a work bench.
CONTINUED: (2) JAMES Low tox screening grenades. Used either in training simulations and for covering advancing friendlies. Low tox mean the shit isn't going to hurt you like CS will. He pulls one out of the box. JAMES (CONT’D) Easy to use. Hold the spoon , pull the pin and roll it away. It'll cook as soon as you throw it, so there is no delay. Very good. BRUISER
James picked up a bag and threw 4 of them in. BRUISER (CONT’D) How much do I owe you? JAMES Not a thing. I don't even know what you're going to do with them. Knowing you, I don't want to know. Just forget where you got them okay? BRUISER You're a sweetheart, you know that? JAMES Aww, thanks Bruiser. If I were gay, I still wouldn't sleep with you BRUISER Don't ask, Don't tell Exactly JAMES
They chatted for a while. He has one more stop to make, so they parted ways. Bruiser drives over to JD's house and knocks on the door. Hey, Man! JD
CONTINUED: (3) BRUISER Hey, I was wondering if I could borrow a few things tonight. JD Sure what do you need? BRUISER You know that strobe light you jerry-rigged to plug into a cigarette lighter? JD Sure do! It's in the garage. What else do you need? BRUISER That portable amp thing you bought at a yard sale last year. Do you still have it? JD Damn man, what are you getting into? BRUISER You don't want to know. JD Yeah I've got it. Remember? We rigged it up to play your Ipod. BRUISER Oh I remember it.
They search for the stuff, find it, and load it up. Bruiser bids farewell and runs over to the office. He was thinking about the 31 flavors of revenge he was about to exact. A grin spread across Bruiser's face as I pulled into the office. 37A INT. BRUISER'S TRUCK - PARKING LOT- NIGHT Bryce rolled to a stop beside him. BRYCE So how many people have told you they don't want to know what you're doing? BRUISER Oh, just every single person. Do you want to know? 37A
CONTINUED: BRYCE Is it going to harm any property person or yourself? No. BRUISER
BRYCE Then I don't want to know. I owe you for Lucy , so here you go. He pulls out a small box from the back. BRYCE (CONT’D) Just like you asked for. Two road flares. They were written off of the inventory do they don't exist. Thanks. BRUISER
BRYCE Just do me a favor and be safe? Always. BRUISER
Bruiser checks his watch. 2 hours until show time. He said his good-byes and rushes over to Gills apartment. 37B EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT Bruiser rings the gate bell and Gill is over the comm. GILL Everything is all set. I'll be down in a sec. Gill comes around the corner with a garment bag. Gill is the same age as Bruiser and is into theater and movie effects. He zipped it open so Bruiser could take a look. BRUISER Oh, this is good. A replica Roman Centurion costume was in the bag. Gill flips over the helmet and showed Bruiser the inside. GILL The fake blood is in this bag with a small tube that hangs out here. 37B
He picks up another long tube and connects it to the side. GILL (CONT’D) Pretty straight forward. This small plunger is spring loaded. Squeeze here and the blood comes out here. Keep pumping for more blood. I added a nozzle to give you a nice spray. BRUISER Thank you so much man. You're a big help. I owe you big time. GILL We'll just call it even for the ... ah ... Incident in Daytona. Deal. BRUISER
He stashed the bag in the truck and looked at his watch. Not too long now. 38 EXT. WALGREENS BACKSIDE OF THE STORE - NIGHT Jim met Bruiser over there behind the store strip. JIM Okay. The parking lot lights are on a timer. They go off in 15 minutes. I'll park my truck blocking the entrance. BRUISER You don't have toy do this you know? JIM I know that. I'm just tired of not getting a chance to see the show. BRUISER Well you get a front row seat. Jim kept a look out while Bruiser changes into the Centurion costume. He slung the PA system over his shoulder and plugged it into the iPod. Then plugged the strobe in and set it on the dash, flipped the switch on and off, testing it out. And laid out his arsenal of smokers and road flares in the passenger seat. 38
You can hear terrible Goth rock music from around the front of the parking lot. A shout here and there and a random Fuck Off thrown in. The parking lot lights went out. Jim pulled around and blocked the Entrance and exit, effectively sealing off the lot. A few minutes later and it was show time. It was completely pitch black as Bruiser slowly eased his truck around the corner. There about 25 or 30 goth kids with their cars circled up. All sorts of dancing in the circle with Marylin Manson blaring out of a boom box. Bruiser catches a portion of a conversation. GOTH TEENS OH MAN, I'M SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW! I KNOW! WE'RE ALL STILL TRIPPING FUCKING HARD! It doesn't get much easier than this. In the center Bruiser see's one of them with the same Red bandana from the Fourth of July incident. A unshakable look of insanity and excitement came across Bruisers face. He threw the truck into gear and sped off to the circle of cars. Turned the lights off and did laps around the circle of cars. He started pulling the pins on the smokers and throwing them out of the window. The Goth kids were too high to do anything but stare. He pulls away from the circle, completely hidden by the smoke flips on the strobe. Bruiser hops out and hit Play on the iPod. Master of puppets started blaring out of the PA system. He pops the two flares and started running toward them. It looks like the Apocalypse. Metallica blaring, strobe light, smoke, and road flares all going off at once. He ran toward them at full steam and shouts. BRUISER I AM THE DARK LORD SENT TO REAP YOUR SOULS! GOTH TEENS AHHHHH! HOLY SHIT WHAT'S GOING ON?! BRUISER YO HAVE FUCKED WITH THE WRONG PERSON! PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE BATTLE!
Bruiser runs through the smoke and chucked the road flares at them while pulling the sword from the sheath. They were in full panic, running into each other and falling down on the pavement, too scared to get up. He stands over a group of them including the covered by the bandana BRUISER (CONT’D) AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHAAAAHHH! He jammed the plunger down and coated them with blood. GOTH TEENS OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT! AHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING! Bruiser makes it like he was ripping at my face, standing over the red bandana, spraying him with fake blood and pointing the sword at his throat. RED BANDANA TEEN PLEASE ! PLEASE OH FUCKING CHRIST PLEASE! YOU! YOU RIP YOUR MAKE YOU MAKE YOU BRUISER HAVE SINNED! I'M GOING TO HEART OUT! I'M GOING TO PAY! I'M GOING TO FUCKING PAAAAYYYYYY!
RED BANDANA TEEN OH GOD! GOD PLEASE! BRUISER ARE YOU READY TO DIE?! ARE YOU READY TO ATONE FOR YOUR SINS?! RED BANDANA TEEN OH FUCK, I WANT TO LIVE! PLEASE! Never has anyone one seen terror like this before. They actually thought they were going to die at his sword. Most of them had regained their footing and had started to hop into cars. He tears the helmet off, with my face covered in blood, I dropped to his knees and screams. BRUISER AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGAAAAAAA!
Screaming. Squealing of tires. Bruisers stands up, cuts the music and watched them ram each others cars as they got to the blocked entrance. Little did he know, Jim was getting in on the act. He has a Richard Nixon mask on with glow sticks taped to the sides. JIM I AM NOT A CROOK! I AM NOT A FUCKING CROOK! Eventually cars started hopping the curb and peeling out down the road. I could hear screaming 4 blocks away and fading fast. Jim drives over with a roll of paper towels and helped Bruiser clean the fake blood off and stow the costume and gear. They cleaned up like nothing had ever happened. Bruiser hears from a reliable source that he showed up at the height of a 36 hour LSD trip. Some of the Goth kids wouldn't leave their room for 2 days. 39 EXT. SHOPPING CENTER - TRUCK LOADING ZONE - NIGHT 39
Bruiser was pretty worn out from the night before. Not used to spraying down Goth Kids with fake blood set to the tune of Metallica. He was looking forward to having an easy night. Before starting his route Bruiser had picked Gill and they were generally fucking around the entire night. Everything was going just peachy. Until Gill made a bet with him. They were behind a place that had an open loading dock. It is basically a concrete ramp set up in the back for trucks to load and unload. That's it. A concrete ramp. GILL How much of a badass are you? BRUISER If you took Steve Mcqueen and bred him with Macho man Randy Savage tossed in some Evil Knievel with a dash of Danzig. Well let's say I'm more badass than that. Oh and they're all spawned from a motorcycle riding demon from hell. Yeah More badass than that. Times six. GILL I don't think you're that badass.
CONTINUED: Really? BRUISER
GILL See a true badass wouldn't back down from a bet. BRUISER You haven't made one yet. GILL I bet you can't jump your truck off of that concrete ramp. BRUISER That concrete ramp, over there? GILL Take the cock out of your ears. Yes. That ramp. Right. Fucking. There. BRUISER Get the fuck out of my truck. I can make that. GILL You're kicking me out now? Going to make me walk home? You big pussy. BRUISER Shut your whore mouth Gill. I'm kicking you out so that when I DO jump that ramp you don't shit yourself in my truck. GILL I don't think you'll do it. Watch me. BRUISER
Bruiser drops him off, drove down the strip a little bit, and starts making practice runs. Gill shouts. GILL C'MON GODDAMNIT ! DO IT ALREADY YOU BIG PUSSY! JUMP! Like a man possessed he drove back down the strip, lines up, and slams the gas. He hit the ramp and sails off the end.
Well, it turns out that these trucks weren't made for stunts. Bruiser slams down on the front end pretty damn hard. Hard enough in fact, to deploy the airbag. GILL (CONT’D) Ho-lee-shit. HO-LE-SHIT! I didn't expect you to fucking do it! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! Blood was pouring down Bruiser's nose. It's broken. He looks at Gill dead in the face, put his two index fingers on either side, and squeezed. *CRACK* Bruiser's mind was screaming AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK?! OH FUCK ME RUNNING ON A FRIDAY!! But he just looked at Gill. BRUISER Ahh. All better. Just had to reset it. Bruiser then took stock of the truck. For some reason, the axles didn't snap and the tires didn't pop. Everything was kosher except the airbag. GILL What the fuck is the matter with you?! BRUISER Told you I was badass. C'mon we've got to beat the fucking tracks and finish the night. That was the fastest Bruiser had ever swept. It was almost as if a phantom drove through and in a blink he was gone. Bruiser drops off Gill and pulled back in before anyone else. He got out my pen and started writing up a Maintenance slip. 39A INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MAIN OFFICE - AFTERNOON The boss lady is at her desk again fighting the paperwork when the office Mechanic enters. MECHANIC Hey, there was another slip I39A
CONTINUED: BOSS LADY Yeah, yeah.
She takes the note and reads through Bruiser's latest event. DRIVER: Bruiser TRUCK: The one with the deployed airbag. REPAIR REQUESTED: Well, I was hoping to get the oil changed. Perhaps a new air freshener. If you have time, maybe you could see about the deployed airbag. NOTES: If you could only witness one thing in your entire life before the Lord God Almighty struck you blind, it should have been this. NOTES CONTINUNED: It deployed on it's own. Scout's honor. She takes it and adds it to the file as the Nacho cheese incident. BOSS LADY (CONT’D) I thought there wasn't going to be a truck left. MECHANIC Same as last time. BOSS LADY You got it. 40 INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- EVENING 40
One week down and one togo. Bruiser pushed the door open to the break room. DOUG What... The... BRUISER Evening Doug! DOUG What are you doing? BRUISER What? Oh, I'm just clocking in man. DOUG No ... Man, what are you DOING?
Doug is referring to the way Bruiser was dressed. Pressed slacks, golf polo shirt, and a Titleist ball cap. And also brought his bag of clubs. BRUISER Well Doug, I'm going to work harder than I ever have tonight. I mean I'm REALLY going to put in some time. DOUG You're going to play gold aren't you? BRUISER NO! NO I MA NOT GOING TO PLAY GOLF WHILE I SHOULD BE WORKING! That caught the attention of everyone in the office. BRUISER (CONT’D) DO YOU HEAR THAT AMERICA!? I'M NOT PLAYING GOLF Bruiser starts mock crying BRUISER (CONT’D) NOOOOOOOOooooo! And runs out of the door. 40A EXT. SHOPPING MALL -ROOF- NIGHT 40A
These last weeks Bruiser kept running his route faster and faster each night. This particular night, he had left himself with about 4 hours to kill. He finished up with my last property, pulled around back, and got out. The back of the property faced a very large wooded area, with the Interstate far off in the distance. He slung the clubs over his shoulder and ascended a ladder to the roof. He set the clubs down, reached into the bag, and pulled a box of balls, selects his driver, lines up, and beat that ball like it owed him money. THWACK goes the ball into the night. BRUISER Damn. Sliced it. THWACK goes another ball THWACK another ball.
A car pulls up and Mike gets out. He climbs up the ladder and joined Bruiser on the roof with a thermos of coffee. MIKE Arnold Palmer, you are not. THWACK BRUISER I don't play golf. MIKE I was about to say. THWACK BRUISER I got these a few years ago. I was going to learn how to play but time got away from me. MIKE You don't look that bad. You're hitting the shit out of that ball though. THWACK BRUISER I have a lot of pent up aggression. MIKE About what? THWACK BRUISER Oh, I don't know. I burned out of college when I was 20. 20 years old dad. I couldn't handle the pressure. I ended up working here. If I couldn't handle it the first time around what makes me think I'll be able to handle it now. THWACK MIKE First of all , you burned out of college because you were working 3 jobs and taking 18 units. You were staying up for 36 hours and sleeping 5. (MORE) (CONTINUED)
MIKE (CONT'D) Put anyone under that kind of stress for as long as you were they would crack. And hey look at me. I flamed out of the IT industry. I probably won't recover from that. I probably won't ever touch another network again. And you know what? That's ok with me. You'll be just fine. Trust me.
THWACK You think? BRUISER
MIKE Are you kidding me? You've done more at 21 than I ever thought about doing at your age. You know where you want to go. Just hang on for the ride, that's all you can do. THWACK BRUISER You want to take a swing? Oh yeah. MIKE
And it continued on like that until sunrise. They hit his entire stash of golf balls. Just standing, talking, and golfing. That night did a lot for Bruiser. It gave him a lot of clarity in life. It also gave me a chance to plan the rest of his time with the company. 41 INT. BRUISER'S APT - EVENING 41
Bruiser finished the first week of his last 14 days without too much fanfare. Going ape shit with smoked grenades and jumping ramps had left him tired and bruised. I was about to take the first sip of an ice cold Crown and Coke and begin the weekend when his phone went off. Bruiser. BRUISER
CONTINUED: BOSS LADY Bruiser, It's Bosslady. Listen we had a weekend guy get arrested. We need you to come in. BRUISER Bosslady, I've had a hard week and I'm just about to relax BOSS LADY Time and a half. BRUISER I'm on my way.
Bruiser shows up, grab his gear and heads out to dude's truck. He opened the door and was immediately assaulted with the stench of a thousand broken dreams. BRUISER (CONT’D) What the Christ!? This was the most disgusting truck he'd ever seen. So, while on time and a half, he decided to take two hours and clean the truck. Eventually he was able to make it thing bearable, grabs the route map, and plan on doing nothing because hey it ain't his route, and it's the weekend. 42 EXT. HIGHWAY 431 - DRIVING - NIGHT Well, Bruiser was traveling way out of his way to a town called Coopertown. Which is the biggest speed trap in the state. US-431. He's doing about 55 miles an hour , jamming out to some John Lee Hooker when he sees the blue lights blowing up behind him. Bruiser pulls over, and the cop pulls behind him. And sits right there. Until another car pulls up behind him, and then another one pulls in front of Bruiser. Eventually a very rotund officer of the law gets out of the squad car and comes up to the drivers side window. This guy was Roscoe P. Coltrane incarnate. SHERIFF (Sucks his teeth) Evenin' 42
CONTINUED: BRUISER Evening officer. SHERIFF You know how fast you were goin'? BRUISER I couldn't have been doing more than 55 sir. SHERIFF Well. There's a problem with that, boy. BRUISER What's that? SHERIFF The limit's 50.
It turns out, they had changed the speed limit but didn't change the street signs. Bruiser knew this because of two things: The officer told me that the speed limit changed last week. The sign I pulled in front of said "LIMIT 55". At this point, another officer came up to the passenger side window and was taking a peek into the truck. BRUISER Well sir the sign I'm in front of says 55. I'm a relief driver tonight, so I'm not familiar with the are. SHERIFF You been drinkin'? No sir. BRUISER
SHERIFF You been smokin' weed boy? BRUISER Absolutely not. SHERIFF Go ahead and step out of the car for me.
CONTINUED: (2) BRUISER (under his breath) Fuck. Fine.
Bruiser hopped out and he asked me to step over behind the truck. SHERIFF Ya mind if we take a look inside? BRUISER Actually, yeah. Excuse me? SHERIFF
BRUISER I was wondering if you had probable cause. SHERIFF Put your hands behind your head, I'll give you your fuckin' probable cause. SNAP! Go the handcuffs. BRUISER This is quite the pickle. SHERIFF You're going to sit right down now and have a little talk. BRUISER Really? Do I hafta? I just bought these pants! SIT! SHERIFF
BRUISER Alright, but you're going to be hearing from my dry cleaner. SHERIFF Lookie here boys, We got a co-median! BRUISER Don't forget to tip your waitress boys!
He pushed Bruiser down onto to the ground. He looked up and smiled at the sheriff. SHERIFF What's so funny boy? BRUISER Oh, I'm just mentally keeping tabs on how many complaints to file. That's two. SHERIFF You're not from around here are ya, boy? BRUISER Well, if you're talking about the wet assed ground on the side of 431, no. I live about 30 miles south of Nashville. SHERIFF You don't talk like you're 30 miles south of Nashville. BRUISER You got me! You got me. I'm from D.C Dee-Cee? SHERIFF
BRUISER The. District. Of. Columbia. Our nation's capital? SHERIFF So you think your real smart. City boy. BRUISER What's the deal? You going to charge me with something? SHERIFF I don't know yet. He turns and yells to the other cops. TOSS IT! SHERIFF (CONT’D)
And they proceed to rip the inside of the truck apart.
They tossed it for 10 minutes and finally one of the cops whistles. SHERIFF (CONT’D) Well, lookie what we found here! BRUISER Oh... Shit. SHERIFF Do you know what this is? BRUISER That would be the biggest fucking handgun I've ever seen. It was a SW .460 Magnum complete with two speed loaders. BRUISER (CONT’D) I know it sounds Cliche, but it's not mine. Oh really? SHERIFF
BRUISER Hand of god. Bruiser started to connect the mental dots. The guy I'm relief for just went down on a gun charge. This is not my truck, it is his truck. Therefore this is his gun. BRUISER (CONT’D) I swear to god, it's not mine. I'm not even old enough to have a carry permit. Besides, if I'm going to carry a piece it's going to be a semi-auto. Something user friendly and quick on the draw with enough power to drop someone. I'm thinking a Glock .40 Maybe a Sig if I could afford it. SHERIFF You know an awful lot about guns. BRUISER I grew up in D.C I've been around. SHERIFF We're probably going to take you to the station for processing. You want to make a call?
CONTINUED: (5) Please. BRUISER
SHERIFF If I let you out of the cuffs, you gonna do somthin' stupid? I promise. BRUISER
So he let Bruiser out of the cuffs and he made a phone call to the only person he knew that could help me sort this out. BRUISER (CONT’D) Bryce, It's Bruiser. Look man, I'm fucked Nine ways to Sunday here. BRYCE It's 2 in the morning. It's my night off. I'm in the middle of GTA San Andreas, Do you know how long I've been waiting to finish this game? BRUISER I know man. But I'm seriously fucked here. BRYCE Who did you kill? BRUISER I'm pulled over on 431 outside of CoopertownBruiser explains the whole story to him. BRYCE Give the phone to the cop in charge. So, he gives the Sheriff the phone and stands off to the side. He could only hear one side of the conversation. SHERIFF Officer Jackson... Yeah. Uh-huh. We found... uh-hu... What? ... Heright. But we found... No this is MY jurisdiction... No... No... You're kidding me ... Yes I like my job... Yes I'm sure... Okay. Sorry about this... (MORE)
SHERIFF (CONT'D) Thanks for your time ... No thank you... What? Yeah I'll tell him.
He snapped the phone shut and yelled at his Boys. SHERIFF (CONT’D) PUT THAT FUCKING TRUCK BACK TOGETHER! NOW! BRUISER What did he say? SHERIFF Boy... you must have some pretty important friends. I better not see you speedin' through here again. BRUISER What about the gun? SHERIFF Since it's not yours, I might as well hold it until someone reports it missing. Gotcha. BRUISER
SHERIFF By the way your friend wanted to give you a message. "Tell him to remember this night every time her wants to dress like a Roman soldier and put on a fireworks show." I have no idea what that means. And I don't want to know. Bruiser smiles in order. They loner truck on chapter in his 43 as the officers finish putting the truck back all leave very quickly leaving Bruiser and his the sideway. The night before he starts a new life. 43
INT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- BREAK ROOM- EVENING
This was Bruisers last night at the company, and with it comes the full spectrum of emotions. Happiness that he was going back to school, Pride that he had made it through this job and Hope for his future. Bruiser is sitting in the break room with a cup of coffee. He stairs at his face in the black reflecting pool, getting sucked into the hard eyes that started back.
He had showed up at 7:45, early just as his first day. Mark comes in, plops down next to Bruiser. MARK Nickel for your thoughts? BRUISER I thought it was a penny. MARK Inflation's a bitch, what can I say? BRUISER I don't want to leave. MARK Why in god's name is that? BRUISER Because I'm comfortable here. I can be myself without worrying about what I should say or do. I don't know if I'm ready to go back into the daylight. MARK You're ready. BRUISER And what makes you the expert? MARK Nobody thought you would make it. A boy in the land of men. 20 is pretty fucking young to be doing anything. Look at us man, we're all old. We've all seen way too much. Plus it's a shitty job. But you? You dove right in there, torpedoes be dammed. You listened, you learned, you made us laugh. You did good boy. Real good. And you know what? What? BRUISER
MARK We're all proud of you. You fell down harder than anyone I've seen. Left dealt you one shitty hand, but you got up. (MORE) (CONTINUED)
MARK (CONT'D) You grabbed onto your bootstraps and pulled yourself back up. That's something to be proud of. Walk tall and go out there and life your life. Live it as hard as you possibly can. You're learned lessons boy. You're a man now. I'm so glad I got to see it. So glad. And your dad's proud of you too. Sure as the sun comes up in the east and sets in the west, that man is proud of you. I know he says it but take it from me. He means it. Thank you. BRUISER
MARK Now, it is my last duty as your trainer to inform you that your ass better be on time in your truck for your last night. You've got about ten minutes of moping around here before you need to get to work. BRUISER No rest for the weary. MARK I'll meet you outside. Mark turns to leave for his truck. He stops at the doorway and looked at Bruiser. MARK (CONT’D) There's two things I've always wondered. BRUISER What's that? MARK What sort of voodoo magic did you use to have all this fun and still have time to do such a great job. Bruiser smiles. BRUISER I can't tell, It's a trade secret. What else did you want to know? Mark rubs his beard in deep thought.
CONTINUED: (3) MARK How did you manage to cover two truck in nacho cheese? BRUISER A magician never reveals his secrets. MARK (looking at his watch) Ooo, looks like you've only got 9 minutes of moping time left.
Bruiser turns back to his lukewarm coffee. He looks deep into those hard eyes. He thought about the hardest thing he's ever had to do in his short life. FLASHBACK TO: 44 EXT. WAFFLE HOUSE - NIGHT 44
They met halfway at a Waffle House off of I-75 in Georgia. It was a mutual meeting place. The father of boyfriend's lost girlfriend, and the boyfriend of a lost daughter. We'd agreed that Florida was too far for Bruiser and Tennessee was too far for Jake. Bruisers pulls into the parking lot at 11:30 P.M. with a mixture of nerves and sadness. He stepped out, locked the Hummer, and walked to the door. Bruiser saw him waiting, smoking his own brand of cancer. He was tall, muscular, and with black hair starting to go gray at the temples. His face was drawn and betrayed no emotion. JAKE She said it was a nice car. Bruiser stuck out his hand. Bruiser. BRUISER
JAKE Good to finally meet you. I'm Jake. 44A INT. WAFFLE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS We shook, ended their cigarettes, and walked in. A quiet booth in the corner. No food, just coffee. JAKE Thank you for meeting me halfway Bruiser. 44A
CONTINUED: BRUISER Like wise sir. I don't think I could have made it. JAKE I understand. BRUISER So. What happened?
He dug a cigarette out of a pack, lit one, and tossed the pack over to Bruiser. He lit up as well. JAKE She was driving home from work and got to an intersection. She got the green and was hit by a drunk who didn't stop. Died on impact, so we know she didn't suffer. Probably didn't see it coming. BRUISER And the son of a bitch that hit her? JAKE He survived. They locked eyes, shared a moment. Two pairs of cold dead eyes staring at each other, and nothing needed to be said. He knew what was on Jake's mind and he knew what was on Bruiser's mind. The drunk driver would pay. He would pay a price far harsher than anything courts dealt out. This, they were sure of. Bruiser blew out a cloud of smoke, and gave a short knowing nod. Good. BRUISER
JAKE I'm glad we think alike , Bruiser. BRUISER Let me know if there is anything I can do in that department. Maybe I've got some resources. JAKE You'll be the first one I call.
The waitress comes by with a refill for both of Them. Jake cleared his throat and smiled. JAKE (CONT’D) She really loved you. I know. BRUISER
JAKE I guess I just wanted to say thank you for treating her right. I'm glad she got a chance to be with a good man. BRUISER Thank you sir. And they sat there and talked for the better part of 2 hours. About her. About Bruiser. About the family. It was finally time for us to go. Standing out in the parking lot with hands shoved in pockets. JAKE You're welcome to my home anytime you're in Florida. BRUISER Thank you sir. Jake reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a folded envelope and handed it to him. Bruiser instantly recognized the flowing script on the front. JAKE She was going to mail this to you the day after... Well, anyway I know your like me. That means you think you've already dealt with it and that you're packed the pain away. I want you to have this. BRUISER ... Thanks ... Jake shook his hand. JAKE Be safe out there, Bruiser. Don't hesitate to call me.
CONTINUED: (3) Likewise. BRUISER
JAKE Call me if you need anything... anything. BRUISER Like I said, you'll be the first. Bruiser grasped the letter in his hand and made the way back home. He walked into the apartment, poured a Crown and Coke, and finally got up the courage to read the letter. "Dear Bruiser, God, I miss you so much! It feels like forever since I've gotten lost in your blue eyes. I hope this ends soon so I can see you! I miss being in your arms and feeling safe. Mom is doing a lot better. Dad is still working way too much, Jeff and Dan are still acting out in that awkward pre-teen stage. They think they're hot shit BMX bikers now. Jeff managed to crack his chin wide open trying to pull some bullshit stunt. They'll eventually grow out of it I guess. Oh! I told Matt about your Hummer the other day. He made a smartass comment about helping pull you out of the mud with his jeep. I'm glad I know the score in that fight. I'm about to head to work in a little bit. It'll be a few days by the time you get this, but know that I'm going to call you just as soon as I get home! I love you. I love you more than you can ever know. When I'm in your arms, I feel safe from everything and I know that nothing in this world can hurt me. It should only be a matter of weeks before we're together again. All my love forever and ever, Jenny P.S. - I wanted to wait until I got back to tell you, but I just can't wait any longer... I left you a gift in the cigar box in your closet." Bruiser took a swig of his drink, neatly folded the note, and set it aside. Calmly, slowly, walked into the bedroom and flipped on the closet light. He reached up and grabbed the battered cigar box that he used to hold memories in and took it back to the dining room, sat down, and opened the lid. Inside was a small velvet bag with a note with her writing on the side pinned to it. "...What are you doing the rest of your life..."
He opened the bag and a tear quietly traced a path down his cheek. It was a compass in a gold case. On the back was an engraving. "The north and south and east and west of your life" They were lyrics from "their" song; the Dusty Springfield version of "What are You Doing the Rest of your Life" He flipped it open and there was a picture of them.. a candid shot one of her friends took of Bruiser sneaking in a kiss on her cheek during the photo. Completely unexpected. Completely in love. He put the compass back into the bag, put the bag and letter into the box, and put it back on my shelf, walked out onto the porch in the cool night air, lit a cigarette, and silently cried for the last time. BACK TO: Bruiser shook himself out of the haze in the break room. He got up and headed to the yard to work my final night. 45 EXT. STREET SWEEPER HQ- MATANIENCE BAY - CONTINUOUS 45
He pushed his way out of the office door with his head buried in the route clipboard. He checked his watch to make sure he was on time and caught something out of the corner of his eye. Bruiser's truck is gone. Not only is the truck gone, but there's something oddly peculiar sitting in it's space. He went for a closer look and burst out laughing. It was an inflatable doll with a road flare jammed in it's mouth and a gold spray painted broom and dustpan. A note and a card was taped to the broom handle. "Bruiser, You were doing such a good job out there, we figured you needed more of a challenge to enhance your job satisfaction. Per HR instructions, we have replaced your truck with this golden broom*. HR has also noticed your tendencies to associate with call girls of the transvestite persuasion. The company prides itself on keeping its employees trained in all fields. Please use this doll to develop a proper training module that we hope to implement next quarter. Included is a road flare for whatever you use them for... I, like everyone else, do not want to know.
CONTINUED: Sincerely, Bosslady
P.S.- You were one our best employees Bruiser! I'm sorry to see you go, but I know that you're headed places. We got someone to cover your shift for you tonight as a token of our appreciation. Take the night off and enjoy it! * Please note that these are accountable items and will be docked from your pay " Bruiser folded up the note and looked at the card. It was signed by everyone with the unit. Down at the bottom was a small note from Mark. Yes, this is the end. Before he left, Bruiser wrote Mark a note and taped it to his locker. "M, The reason I finished up and still had time to have fun was because I'm at least 15 years younger than anyone here. Deal with it. The nacho cheese, however, came from cans behind a hotdog place. How it got on the trucks? Well, all I'm going to say is that you should have never let Mike and I play together. We cause trouble. Thank you, my friend. For everything" Bruiser walks out to his car, takes one last look back and gets in. CUT TO: 46 EXT. COLLAGE CAMPUS - DAY 46
Bruiser steps out of his car well dressed and carrying books. This is the first day of his new semester and the first day of his newest chapter in his life. FADE TO BLACK.
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