Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

—Henry David Thoreau

Monday, November 19th 10:48 AM C.J. is sitting on his couch with no lights on in his living room, in the dark. He has a caliginous look on his face as he sits upright on his couch. His home phone and answer machine are in his kitchen. His phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Ms. Brenda says, “Baby, are you okay? I am just callin’ to see if you’re okay. I know the show didn’t do well last night but call me back please. Bye.” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Rose says, “Hey Cee, I am sorry to hear the show tanked last night. But hey, that’s a small thing to a giant. We gonna be good. Call me back.”

Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Robert says, “Hey. C.J. How are you, buddy? I hope you’re not too fucked up about last night? I know the ratings sucked for the first episode but you know…We will be good. ‘Kay. Bye.” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Zoey says, “Hey baby, are you okay? I know last night kinda messed you up but do not dwell over this. We will get pass this. I love you! Bye.” 6:14 PM C.J. is still sitting on his couch with no lights on in his living room, in the dark. He still is wearing a caliginous look on his face as he sits upright on his couch after hours had passed. His home phone and answer machine are in his kitchen. His phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Jay says, “Yo son! What’s goin’ on? Everybody been hittin’ ya up and no call back. I know ya upset but damn, son. I know this shit hurts but we gonna survive this like everything else, yo. Call me back.” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Zoey says, “Babe, I haven’t heard from you all day. Are you okay? Come on, talk to me. I am here for you. Please don’t push me away. Babe…C.J…I love you. Bye.” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Frank says, “C.J., when you get this message I need you to call me ASAP! Like fuckin’ now! This is bad! Very fuckin’ bad! Call me back!” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.*

Carrie says, “Hey C.J., I am so sorry about your show. I know you were putting a lot into the premiere. Look at it like this, this is only one episode; you have many more good episodes after this. Things will become better, hun. Talk to ya later.” Few minutes pass. Phone rings, *Ding. Ding. Ding.* Answer machine picks up the call after the *Beep.* Ms. Brenda says, “Hey baby, it’s your mom again. Are you comin’ home for Thanksgiving? The family would love to see your face and hear some of your stories. Maybe if you come home that would get your mind off of the show. Just come home, baby, come home.” Wednesday, November 21st 6:45 AM Rose and Jay are standing in a long line at the airport, waiting to go through the metal detector. Rose and Jay are holding their carryon bags and shoes in their hands. Jay looks miserable as Rose is impatiently looking ahead of the line. Rose says, “What the fuck is the hold up?! All you got to do is go through the metal detector! What the fuck, people!” Jay says, “Why do we have to be here so early?” Rose says, “This was the only flight goin’ to New York on such short notice.” Jay says, “Where is ya mom? Why ain’t ya mom dukes comin’?” Rose says, “She’s spendin’ it with her friend, Mr. Roy. Jay says, “Slow up, Ms. Vasquez is gettin’ her groove back and ya not?! Ahhhhhhh!” Rose says, “Stop it! Stop it! That’s just nasty! Yuck!” Jay says, “So ya figured to drag me along to ya families at the last fuckin’ minute? First of all, how do they feel ‘bout Asians?” Rose says, “They call you guys Chinks.” Jay says, “WHOA?! That’s racist.” Rose says, “They won’t say it in front of your face. So you’re good.” Jay says, “This is gonna be an interestin’ Thanksgivin’.” Rose turns to Jay and smiles while saying, “You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Rose looks forward with an angry look on her face as she yells, “Awe c’mon, grand ma! Go through the fuckin’ machine!” 8:56 PM “Las Vegas? Why is he there?” Joe says to Brother Joe as they’re talking in the Black Room of the Resurrection Men’s base. Both men are wearing calm, expressionless looks on their faces as they’re in a black room full of flowing lights. Brother Joe says, “Well sir, I tracked him down somewhere on the Vegas strip.” Joe says, “Good. Take Sister Jane and Brother Joe the fifth to extract him.” Brother Joe says, “I can work this alone, sir. He’s only one man.” Joe says, “One man who could be dangerous, he has lost someone he truly loves for the second time in his life. That type of stress could make a Human Being irrational with grief and rage.” Brother Joe says, “I understand that, sir, but this isn’t my first field mission.” Joe says, “I have total faith in your skills, Brother Joe but I enjoy completing a mission safely. Trust me on this one.” Brother Joe says, “Yes sir.” Joe says, “Please leave now and report to me what you’ll found in your search. Brother Joe says, “Yes sir.” Bother Joe exits the Black Room. Thursday, November 22nd 11:30 AM Robert opens his front door with his wife by his side only to have Eli, his wife, and two children standing on the other side of the door. Eli smiles and Robert opens his arms for a hug. Robert yells, “Eli!” Eli says, “Good morning, Rob. Happy Turkey Day!” The two men hug as their wives smile while shaking hands. The Robert’s wife says, “Hello. Julie.”

Eli’s wife says, “Sharon.” Julie says, “Come on in, Sharon and kids. My babies are playing.” Eli and Robert are talking as Robert closes the door behind Eli. Robert has a serious look on his face as he says, “Sorry about the show. I thought the first episode was ingenious.” Robert smiles as he’s saying, “Really? Are you serious?” Eli says, “Yeah man. Why would I lie to you?” Robert says, “Thank you, Eli. That means a lot to me. Thanks.” Robert says, “No problem. By the way, Thanksgiving at my place next year. It was very hectic getting over here.” Robert says, “I’ll do you one better, how about Christmas and New Years at your place?” Both men shake hands with a big smile on Eli’s face, he says, “Deal!” 6:00 PM Rose and Jay are sitting next to one another at Rose’s family big dinner table. There is food all over a table full Latino people and Jay, an Asian man. Jay looks nervous as Rose’s family happily converse with one another. One of Rose’s aunts says to Jay, “So, Jay, how long have you and Rose been datin’?” Rose and Jay looks at one another and both response with in a quick, frantic tone by saying, “No. We’re not datin’!” Rose’s Aunt says, “You two seem cute together, why not?” Jay says, “Well, I am a recoverin’ junkie who is also a recoverin’ womanizer that’s an atheist and who hates this fuckin’ government who is also a comedian that killed his friend and drove his best friend insane. I am dead goods, Auntie. That’s why! Oh, and Rosey here is datin’ a hitman. So datin’ her is a hell no. I like life, I am prolife; my life!” Rose leans over to Jay and whispers into his ear, “The chink line was a joke, Jay.” Jay buries his face into his hands in embarrassment as he mumbles, “Oh. Fuck. Me.” Rose’s Aunt and family looks at Jay with awkward stares. Rose’s Aunt breaks her stare at Jay, looking back at Rose. She then says,

“How is my sister, Rose?” Rose says, “Mommy is great, Auntie Ruth.” Saturday, November 24th 11:02 AM There is a man sitting on a corner of the Las Vegas strip. His clothes are shrugged and he’s wearing one shoe, on his left foot. He’s sporting shaggy beard and long hair. The man looks up at bypassing people with pain and depression in his eyes. People do not notice this homeless man. This just might be the richest homeless man on Realm: Earth. This man is Christopher Goldberg. He’s finally found alone in Las Vegas. He’s mumbling in a low tone, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” The only words he has been uttering for weeks. If you look into Chris’ eyes his mind and body seems soulless. Chris is lost, his soul and mind are gone. The last piece of sanity died with him when Lola died for the last time. Chris says, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” 11:55 PM Chris is sitting under a bridge off the Las Vegas strip in the darkness of night, mumbling, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” Brother Joe walks up to him and says, “Good day, Christopher. We have been looking for you for some time now.” Chris says, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” Brother Joe says, “See we can’t let you roam this realm knowing of our existence. Our existence is in the secrets of shadows on this realm. See, what I am trying to say is there are options.” Chris says, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” Brother Joe says, “The options are for your life-force to be terminated right here, right now or you could come with me to receive a mind scan…Christopher? Christopher, are you listening?” Chris says, “Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola. Lola.” Brother Joe says, “I am sorry for what happened to Lola but we can try to make it better for you.” Chris says, ““Lola. Lola. Lo—Lola?”

Chris’ facial expression changes from a blank, soulless, somber stare to rage written all over his face. His eyebrows frown with anger as his eyes grow dark and full of fire. Chris says, “YOU! YOU WERE THERE!” Brother Joe says, “Please calm down, Chri—” Chris leaps onto Brother Joe and they both fall to the ground. Chris begins to bash Brother Joe in the face with heavy, bone breaking punches. Brother Joe’s face is gushing blood out of it onto Chris’ fist and clothing. Chris continues to bash Brother Joe’s face as Brother Joe lies there not fighting back. Chris is crying as he’s punching Brother Joe. Tears mix with splatters of blood is racing down his face as he looks deranged with rage. Chris is screaming, “Where is she?! Where is she?! Where is she?! Please! TELL ME! NO! Wrong! Wro—This! SHE! Get her outta my head! Take her touch! Take her laughter! Take her kisses! Take her love! Take her outta my head! TAKE HER! PLEASE! Or I am gonna kill you! KILL! FUCKIN’ KILL! STOP THIS! PLEASE! LOLA! NO! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE DIE! DIIIIIIIIII—!” A Latino man bashes Chris in the back of his head with a rock, knocking him unconscious. Sister Jane helps Brother Joe up from the ground. Brother Joe’s face is quickly healing from Chris’ assault. Brother Joe the fifth says, “Should I terminate his life-force, sir?” Brother Joe says, “No. Have mercy on this tormented man. Wipe everything from his mind, our society, Lola’s resurrection, his guilt, and place in his mind he has come to terms with her passing. Take him home and set him free. Let him live his life that he is destined for.” Brother Joe spits out a few teeth accompanied by blood as all of his teeth are re-growing in his mouth. Brother Joe has an expressionless look on his beautiful cinnamon brown face but in his blue eyes there is a hint of sadness. Brother Jay says, “Call in the clean-up crew and transport him to a nearby mind-lab.” Sister Jane and Bother Joe the fifth say, “Yes sir.” Brother Joe walks away into the still, dark night from an unconscious Chris lying on the ground; Brother Joe is still wearing an expressionless look on his face but sorrow in his blue eyes.