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LIVING IN YOUR LIMELIGHT SERIES
Career Workshops Mission Germany Human Resources November 18th, 2008 Presented by: Roberta Hill
medium is the message Goals of reading body language Reading - posture exercise Responding - Western Business Standard The Interview - the four keys - first impressions Respect - personal space exercise German cultural considerations
we use only 25% of our listening capacity we think at 500 words per minute we listen at about 300 words per minute we talk at 150 - 200 words per minute we forget 50% of what we have heard within 2 hours
THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE
Others “listen” to you and evaluate your message based on the the following input:
/ Body Language Voice / Tone / Inflection Contents / Words
55% 38% 7%
From 1971 study by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, “Silent Messages” referring to the emotional content.
WORDS ARE 7%?
I didn’t say John was stupid.
♪ ♩ ♬ ♭ ♫ ♩ ♮
READ RESPOND RESPECT
messages Plan response
congruence Build trust and rapport
manipulation Equalize power Honor culture
responsive FORWARD combative
reflective BACK fugitive
From the work of John Mole: Four Basic Business Modes. Used with permission.
WHAT MIGHT THIS BEHAVIOR COMMUNICATE?
Leaning Leaning Resting
forward in chair: back in chair, arms folded: chin in both hands:
Yawning: Smiling: Frowning: Smiling
and nodding at watch: around room: fingers on table:
Glancing Looking Tapping
TRY TO DEMONSTRATE THESE ATTITUDES:
o o o o o o o o o
Openness to what a speaker is saying Interest Seriousness Agreement Friendliness Concern Confidence Thoughtfulness Intellectual excitement
THE 4 KEYS TO SUCCESS
Entrance + Enthusiasm + Engagement + Energy =============== Success
THE INTERVIEW COSTUME
hygiene - forget the fragrances Simple, conservative Long is better than short Clean, sharp, ironed Solid neutral colors Coordination Limit accessories Match the culture of the organization
Relaxed Sincere Universal Slightly All Smirk Pained Toothy Too
broad Twitching Short
+ Seconds Near The Eyes Relaxed
Dart Off In Space Slow-Blink Down or About
Dry Full Firm Straight
Up Maintain Eye Contact Give Greeting
Crusher Loose Half Grip Sideways Cupping Elbow Touch
THE INTERVIEW - FIRST IMPRESSIONS
with appropriate style Attend to the 3 deadly sins - (messy hair,
dirty fingernails, scruffy shoes)
an entrance - Use good posture Keep the goal in mind Smile Make eye contact Give a solid handshake Watch where and when you sit down
THE REST OF THE MEETING
Primacy Effect - “first impressions are lasting
- our general impression
based on one characteristic colors our perception of other characteristics
Recency Bias - the most recent information
dominates our perception of others
THE INTERVIEW - READING CUES
Time Furniture Posture Facial
Arrangements General Appearance Space and Proximity
Expressions Gestures Hands and Feet Silence Voice
BODY TALK TO AVOID
with your hair Touching your face Meaningless hand gestures Fidgeting - especially foot tapping Fiddling with paper or pen Drifting eye movement Crossing arms in front of yourself
eye contact Occasionally nodding the head Smiling Showing some animation Leaning toward the speaker Speaking at a moderate rate Using a lower, assuring tone
THE INTERVIEW - TALKING MONEY?
grimace Don’t smile Don’t look down Don’t squint or shut your eyes Don’t look up at the ceiling Don’t roll your eyes Don’t cross your arms Don’t bring your hand to your face or mouth Maintain neutral eye contact
From “How to Say it at Work” by Jack Griffin
Never Mimic Stance Head Position Voice (Volume) Breathing Patterns Energy and Intensity Pacing & Leading Purpose is to build rapport and trust
When deep rapport is established, mirroring happens naturally. Complete mirroring results in experiencing the same feelings.
0 to 18 inches
12 feet plus
18” to 4 feet
4 to 12 feet
From the work of Edward T. Hall
Shaking someone’s hand. Giving a friend the “high five” slap.
Touching someone’s back. Poking someone in the arm to get their attention. Slapping someone on the arm. Rubbing someone’s shoulders. Bumping into someone with your shoulder. Putting your arm around someone’s shoulder. Giving someone a “bear hug.”
SAMPLES OF CULTURE DIFFERENCES
…. Handshakes ….. Conversational overlaps ….. Raised eyebrows ….. Speaking softly …. Silence…. Others ….
HOW TO CONTACT US:
Sandy Weiner BA, MEd, MCC SandyWeiner@1-Focus.com Berlin
Roberta Hill, BA, MBA, MCC RobertaHill@1-Focus.com Geneva
Marius Hansa, PCC MariusHansa@1-Focus.com Frankfurt