999 TRANSCRIPT

17.10.1999 21:32PM

DISPATCHER ID NO.87P

SURREY

DISPATCHER: 999 WHATS YOUR EMERGENCY ELLIS: [CRYING] MY MUMMY AND DADDY ARE HAVING A FIGHT DISPATCHER: WHATS GOING ON? ELLIS: HES REALLY MAD

DISPATCHER: WHATS YOUR ADDRESS ELLIS: 32 ALDRIDGE ROAD DISPATCHER: AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME ELLIS: ELI (.) MY FULL NAME IS ELLIS-MAY COSTELLO DISPATCHER: AND HOW OLD ARE YOU ELLIS ELLIS: I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD (3.8) .hh STOP IT DADDY DISPATCHER: ARE YOU STILL HERE ELLIS (2.0) ELLIS: HELLO (.) SORRY DISPATCHER: HOUSE ITS OKAY IS YOUR FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED (1.0) CAN WE GET INTO THE

ELLIS: NO ITS LOCKED (.) ILL GO UNLOCK IT NOW DISPATCHER: OKAY ELLIS: IM BACK NOW ITS OPEN (2.0) ITS GONE QUIET NOW (.) IM GONNA GO SEE WHATS GOING ON DISPATCHER: HELLO ELLIS (3.0) ARE YOU THERE (.) ELLIS ELLIS: MUMMYS GONE TO SLEEP NOW (5.0) CAN YOU JUST SEND THE POLICE PLEASE DISPATCHER: WERE SENDING THE POLICE (.) IM JUST GOING TO STAY ON THE LINE WITH YOU UNTIL THEY ARRIVE OKAY ELLIS: OKAY (3.0) THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOREVER AND EVER DISPATCHER: WHATS YOUR DADS NAME ELLIS ELLIS: ITS MY STEPFATHER (2.0) OH I THINK THEYRE HERE NOW DISPATCHER: OKAY (.) WAIT ON THE PHONE WITH ME ELLIS UNTIL THE POLICE COME TO TALK TO YOU ELLIS: OKAY (.) WHY IS HE SHOUTING

Hope-Miller Surgeries Kingston Upon Thames Branch. I was such a stupid child because I hadnt even then realised how bad it was. It was the first time Id ever dialled 999 and for my own family. I sigh. Do continue, Eli, the silver-haired man with square glasses leant back in his swivel chair as he prompted me, still taking notes with his fancy-pants fountain pen on an Oxford notepad, So thats when the police came? My eyes are closed. Not through tiredness, or any other expected reason, but for the impossible chance that it might block out the images flashing through my mind right now. Its like a show-reel, a video from my point of view, and it wont go away. I squint as hard as I can; it doesnt make a difference. I shake my head slowly as it drops. No, actually it was quite the opposite. Thats when it got worse. He got Jayde. He leans forward, the instinct planted in him from his psychiatric training kicks in, and instantly hes noticed theres more to discover. And Jayde is? My sister. Well, half-sister. Younger. She was a baby at the time, cant have been more than nine months. I remember him clutching her to him as he glared at me once Id put the phone down. Shes worth a million of you. Shes actually my child. Youre not, are you? Little girl. Youre just like that stupid woman laid through there and I pity her for having to look after you. Those words are etched into by brain. Then he laughed. At the time I was crying. I didnt know what to do - whether to move, to run away, anything. So I stood like a statue. And the tears began to show and he began to laugh more and Jayde began to cry and thats when I thought I wanted my mum and... And well; now Im aware that the whole situation was her fault. If she didnt bring him into our home then none of it would have happened. It was perfect before he arrived. I thought I could trust her, I even trusted him at first, but now Im realising you cant trust anyone but yourself and even thats debatable at times. I open my eyes and look up, in surprise at myself more than anything. Id never planned on a revelation of my feelings towards my mum. Sorry, Im rambling No, its what youre here for, Ellis, Mr Greenwood smiles softly, This is a good thing. Remember three sessions ago? You struggled to even tell me youre nineteen years old. Carry on And so I do. I mean, he had me rolling joints for him by the age of eleven. God, what sort of thirteen year old has knowledge in the field of cooking crystal meth? Its his entire fault.

I said it was his entire fault, though in my mind Ive always thought differently. I am stupid and thats why Im here in this room today. Why cant I just forget about it and live an undisturbed life? Im incapable. He called her a bitch, worthless, all sorts of things on a regular basis. She had to put up with it. She had no choice. Im so silly for not doing something about it earlier. I pull my sleeves further over my scarred arms and curl my knees up to my chest on the sofa. Im on a black leather sofa with at least eleven cushions, Im wearing leggings and a baggy jumper and my hairs tied back, yet Ive never felt so uncomfortable. Mr Greenwood put his notepad on the desk and took his glasses off, What you have to realise, Eli, is that you cannot be blamed for this. You were only seven. They were not your actions, they were his. Now, he is facing the consequence. I ignore this comment, as I know Im partly responsible for it, though if I tell him that hell just lecture me more. When the police eventually arrived they had guns. Ha. They should have used them on the vile man. On me, even. It would have made it all easier. But they didnt. They tackled him to ground in one swift movement, handcuffed him and walked him towards that sound of the sirens. Mum was carried out on a stretcher with a white sheet over her and they took Jayde and me to some absurd room in the police station. Just like that. My world was changed within thirty minutes. Im crying, damn it. And how does your new world make you feel? He picked his pen back up. Numb. Im always numb. I cant feel pain, and I cant feel happiness. My college persona is an act and Im terrified to let anyone in By now Ive gained control and stopped crying. Staring out of the window behind him into the perfectly-kept green garden, I continue. Why would I let anyone in? Thats just giving them the power to destroy me. Jesus, I cant even achieve something as cowardly as kill myself off, so why would they want to know me anyway. Mr Greenwood clears his throat, How often do you go to college now, Eli? I laugh, Three days a week maybe? It depends. The idea of getting out of bed and coming face to face with people doesnt appeal to me very much. They dont care, and I wouldnt expect them to. Going back to that day. How did he kill your mother, Eli? I flinch as he says it so harshly. Funny, isnt it? How I can think it a million times yet once its spoken and made a reality its a shock. He smothered her. When I went to look to find out for the call operator at the station, I noticed bruises on her face and chest. When I went back to tell her, he must have covered her face. It might have been with a cushion, I dont know, I didnt think to ask, did I?. I dont suppose having unanswered questions will help you, will it Ellis? Mr Greenwood acts sympathetic, though its obvious hes thinking otherwise. I dont respond.

Well, I hate to have to break things up but its 11am now. This session is over. Though, you should be proud of yourself! We have made great progress. Trust me, Eli; youre on your way to recovery. Thank you for your efforts today. Look after yourself Look after yourself. Oh, the irony. I take a deep breath and stand up from the sofa and make my way to the door, see you next week, Mr Greenwood. Yes, until then, Eli. He smiles, continue taking your anti-depressants though and really do try to go into college four times this week. Thank you. I close the door behind me.