THE BANANA

James Lamont, Jon Foster, Ben Bocquelet

Act 1 The kids are in the classroom Mr Small is boring everyone with his lesson, “And this portion represents the ratio of love needed in ones life and this portion is the plork of deh gruklufuuuub nuuuuuuuuh.” He continues talking gibberish, Gumball stops chewing his pen, turns to Darwin and says “My brain is amazing. When I find something boring it actually prevents me from hearing it.” Mr Small woozily says “Hagergaga” before slamming his head onto his desk and gargling. Darwin says “I don’t think it’s your brain, I think it’s his. He should give up on his nettle diet.” Mr Small abruptly wakes up with a massive inhalation and continues his lesson like nothing happened. The bell interrupts him and he passes out again. The kids start to pack up, Banana Joe comes into shot and leaves a red pen on Darwin’s table, “Thanks for the pen dude!” Gumball picks it up and holds it to his eye, it’s all chewed up. He calls Banana Joe “Hey!” Banana Joe who was on his way out turns around. Gumball gestures from the pen to Joe, arms raised in a wtf way. Cut to Banana Joe who gestures back in a ‘I don’t get it’ kind of way. Cut back to Gumball who points at the pen and silently invites an explanation with his hands. Cut back to Banana Joe who does a slow shrug. Back on Gumball who frantically invites an explanation gesturing from the pen to Joe. Cut to Banana Joe, still silent, now tentatively mimicking Gumball’s moves and gradually turning them into a stupid dance. Gumball interrupts him “What the derp is that?” Banana Joe says “I dunno. What are you doing?” Gumball angrily points at the pen “The PEN! You chewed his pen!” There’s a beat where Banana Joe thinks for a second “No I didn’t.” He walks out leaving Gumball with his mouth opened in disbelief. He turns to Darwin “Can you believe this guy?” “Relax dude, it’s only a pen.” Gumball is stung, “Don’t you dude me when I’m right! You’re supposed to chew things you eat, not people’s stuff!” “What about gum?” “What?” “You don’t eat gum but you chew that, it’s even in the name, ‘chewing gum’.” “Yeah, sure, but that’s specifically made for chewing, it wasn’t a chewing pen! You write with a pen!” “You get a fountain pen, you don’t spray water with it” “YOU JUST DON’T CHEW OTHER PEOPLE’S PENS! It’s the principle! This is what society is build upon. Respect!!” He slams his fist on the table as he speaks this last word, the noise of the fist slam wakes Mr Small who abruptly raises his head haggard and screams “Hadagabluuth!” He slams his head back onto his desk.

Act 2

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We cut to the canteen, Banana Joe is sitting at a table, Gumball walks up to him and says “You know there’s nothing that can’t be solved with an apology, Joe.” Joe pauses and with a sincere smile says “I forgive you for accusing me of chewing the pen.” Gumball stares in shock at Joe with his mouth opened. He changes expression and says with a smile “Can I borrow your glue please?” Joe, with a overly sweet smiling face, says “Yes...of course....[then making a joke with a playful expression] but don’t chew on it..ahahahahaha” Gumball, taking the glue, fakes a laugh back “Hahahahaha...” Cut to Gumball furiously stabbing the tube of glue with a pair of compasses at his desk in the empty classroom. Darwin is shocked “What are you doing?” Gumball is still stabbing frantically “EXACTING JUSTICE!” “What kind of justice is there in stabbing a tube of glue like a psycho?” Gumball pauses his stabbing and sighs. He grabs a ruler off his desk and flicks Darwin on the cheek with it. Darwin holds his hand against his face with candid discontent. Gumball continues the lesson “Now, what do you feel is an appropriate thing to do in return?” Darwin earnestly says “Turn the other cheek?” He turns his head, offering the other side of his face. Gumball says, “Which means I can do this.” He flicks Darwin’s face again. Darwin now holds both his cheeks with his hands, pouting and frowning like a baby. Gumball says feverishly “That emotion you’re feeling, it’s your thirst for justice. [Gumball offers his cheek and speaks solemnly] Quench it!” Gumball braces himself for the hit but Darwin switches on him and strokes Gumball’s cheek gently “But what if you offer love instead of hatred?” They simultaneously stroke each other’s cheeks delicately a couple of times. Gumball realises, “Oh yeah...That is nicer...BUT IT’S NOT JUSTICE!” He grabs Darwin’s hand and slaps himself with it. Cut to Banana Joe, he arrives at his desk to find a note from Gumball and Darwin. He reads it out loud, “Thanks for the glue.” He smiles to himself earnestly “How swell... I should make them a card to celebrate our friendship.” Cut to see him put the finishing touches on his card. He grabs some glitter and the tube of glue. The tube stays stuck on his hand, he chuckles to himself and delivers in a cheesy way “Gee! That’s what’s what I call a sticky situation ahahaha!” As he says that he leans on Darwin’s table, putting his sticky hand on Darwin’s homework, as he pulls his hand away he rips it apart, “Looks like I just copy pasted Darwin’s homework ahahaha!” He sighs and leans onto Gumball’s table, his hand gets stuck to it, “Well! Looks like I’m getting more and more attached to this school! Ahahaha” He tries to pull his hand away, yanking while laughing at the silliness of the situation. With one last effort, he manages to pull his hand free but it slaps backwards sticking to his face, Gumball’s table is overturned. Joe keeps on delivering his lame jokes “And now I’m even bonding with myself! Ahahahaha!” He yanks on his hand and it abruptly comes off. He looks at it still chuckling and realises that his eye came off as well, he screams in horror “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Cut to the nurses office, Banana Joe’s face is all bandaged up “Ok Joe, we’re going to take the bandages off now, but I just want to warn you that... Well, we did the best we could.” We see from Joe’s POV as the bandages are unwound, the nurse and Mr. Small are looking at

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him sympathetically. The nurse hands him a mirror, he holds it up and we see his face has no features, its just a banana. He drops the mirror that smashes on the floor and he falls to his knees making a dramatic ‘NOOOOOOOOO!!!’ screaming pose but no sound comes out because he doesn’t have a mouth. The nurse pops his eyes and his mouth back on, suddenly we can hear the scream “OOOOOOO.... Oh.... It’s not so bad!” Mr Small holds up the tube of glue “We found this tube of glue stuck to your err… Anyway, in future you need to be more careful, this tube was covered in holes.” Joe is surprised “But... it wasn’t when I lent it to Gumball” The nurse strokes her chin and goes, “Hmmm”, Mr Small strokes his chin as well “Hmmm”, Banana Joe strokes his chin too “Hmmm.” He realises that he can’t take his hand off his face “OH! COME ON!” Cut to the empty classroom, Gumball and Darwin are looking at the disaster that Banana Joe left behind. Darwin’s homework is all torn up, all their stuff is covered in glue, Gumball’s table is upturned and all his stuff spilled on the floor. Gumball is shocked by what he sees “I can understand the glue... But why the glitter! It’s like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it doesn't make it any nicer!” Darwin is visibly outraged, Gumball slumps down on the floor “You were right, we should have just let that pen stuff slide.” Cut to Darwin hyperventilating in anger with dilated nostrils. Cut to the school corridors where Darwin is furiously ramming a fire extinguisher into Banana Joe’s locker until the door opens. He starts rummaging inside. Gumball is panicking, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone can see them, he’s trying to reason with him “Dude! Please! Chill out! Here have some love...” He strokes Darwin’s cheek gently, Darwin abruptly turns to him holding a book “This is for my homework!” He chews the book angrily while rummaging through the locker with his other hand. He throws the chewed up damaged book back into the locker and pulls out a football, “This for the glitter!” He bites into it really hard but it’s quite resistant. The ball gets squeezed more and more but it’s taking a really long time. Gumball is flinching in anguish, protecting his ears, waiting for the pop, “Just pop it already!” The ball explodes making Gumball scream like a girl. When he opens his eyes, Darwin is already handing him a jockstrap with a wild look in his eyes, “He destroyed your table too so chew this!” Gumball is too scared of Darwin to say no and grabs the jockstrap by the tip of his fingers, visibly repulsed. He turns to profile and dips the strap past his mouth so it looks like it goes inside from Darwin’s point of view. He mimes chewing with mock anger, “Nyum nyum, that’s for my table that I don’t care about that much, nyum nyum, take that you Banana...” He throws the jockstrap back into the locker with a disgusted face when Darwin produces a fancy box with an expensive looking fountain pen inside, “Oh look! A pen! And it’s not chewed!” He bites it violently and ruins it. He looks at it unsatisfied with the result, “What else can we do to it?” Cut to Gumball saying, “I think you’ve done en...” Darwin shoves the pen into Gumball’s nostril when the voice of Mr Small comes on the tannoy, Gumball and Darwin freeze as they hear their names, the pen still in Gumball’s nose “Could Gumball and Darwin Watterson please come to Mr Small’s office, thank you very much”.

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Cut to Mr Small’s office, he’s smiling in an earnest cheesy way with his head tilted. Cut to Banana Joe smiling equally, sitting next to Gumball and Darwin. Darwin is staring angrily at Joe. Mr Small breaks the awkward silence, “Any conflict can be resolved with these three tools.” He pulls out a hand mirror, a glass of water and an hour glass from his drawer. Pointing at each one in turn he explains, “The mirror reminds us that an enemy is just ourselves but seen from another angle, the water reminds us that we all have something in common, and the hour glass is the time we need to reach an understanding.” Mr. Small scoots back on his chair, symbolically leaving the conversation. He stays there with his arms folded and one fist over his mouth, attentively observing the situation. He briefly invites them to start with one hand and a tiny nod, before returning to his position. Darwin darts forward, grabs the hourglass, flips it. Grabs the water and chucks it into Mr Small’s face who falls off his chair with a girly scream, then grabs the mirror by the handle and positions himself for a fight with Banana Joe, Gumball is doing his best to hold him back. Darwin screams “Come on you fruity punk! We got one minute! Let’s finish this!” Banana Joe is petrified trying to hold a strained smile, Mr Small pops up and screams “JEEEEEZ LOUIIIIIISE! THE PEN! GIVE HIM THE PEN!” Banana Joe shakily produces a pen and offers it to Darwin, “I... I didn’t chew your pen but... I bought you a new one because... I myself have a pen of great sentimental value” Gumball asks right away trying to look casual “It’s not a fountain pen is it?” “Actually yes it is!” Darwin bites his lower lip and stays frozen, Gumball let’s out a long whine while keeping a straight face. Banana Joe continues his story “It’s the pen that Obadiah Banana, the founder of our family, used to sign the registry when he first came to America.” Darwin bites his lip even harder and closes his eyes in shame, Gumball keeps his straight face and lets out an even longer whine. Banana Joe continues “It was a very expensive pen [Gumball whines in a ‘Oh really’ sort of tone], I’m not even gonna tell you where he had to hide it to keep it safe!” Darwin opens his mouth with a small retch and discreetly brushes his tongue. Banana Joe chuckles as he says “Hahaha, I would lose my miiiiind if someone chewed it! Anyway please accept this new pen, and let’s be friends again.” Mr Small sniffles containing his emotions. Gumball and Darwin look at each other. Gumball quickly nods his head towards the door with a ‘We need to get outta here right now’ kind of way. Darwin puts on a contrived smile, takes the pen and says super fast “Thank-you-we-gotta-go-now-bye!” They rush for the door but they get stopped by Mr Small “One minute! Banana Joe you can go. I just need to fill out your hall pass guys.” Banana Joe leaves as Gumball and Darwin watch anxiously. Mr Small whips out their passes and starts to fill them up, “Gummm-Baaaaall, that’s a funny name isn’t it? Do you spell with two or three Ls?” Gumball is restlessly taping his hand on the desk, looking from the hall pass to the door, “Two L’S!” Mr Small tears up the pass “I’m sorry I just put one.” Darwin is starting to lose it “Dude! You could have just put another one at the end!” Mr Small laughs at his own mistake “Of course! Silly old hippie! I’ll do another one... Oh wait I need to print one out.” He disappears behind the desk and doesn’t come back out. Gumball kicks the desk impatiently “COME ON!” Mr Small pops his head back up “Hmm?” Darwin screams “Just print it please!” “Yes sure!” He ducks again behind the desk and comes back with a 1980’s unplugged dusty printer that he puts on his desk. He blows the dust off it, claps his hands together and says “Hmmmmmmm I dunno how it works.” Gumball screams “JUST! LET! US! GO! OK?” Mr Small reclines on his chair and grabs his mug, “You seem a little stressed up guys! Do you

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wanna try my nettle infusions? [He sips from his cup] It’s very good for the nervluuuuuur...” He stays frozen in the same pose, still smiling and holding his mug. The kids look at him for a beat, Darwin screams “YO!” Mr Small doesn’t even blink, they dart out of the room. After they’ve left, without moving he lets out a long distorted “Woooooooooohooooooooo”. Act 3 Cut to Banana Joe walking down the corridor whistling as he approaches his locker. The whistling merges with the music and the sequence becomes a stylised ballet where over the course of this sequence we will see all the action happening simultaneously. The screen splits and we see Gumball and Darwin running around the corner, they run into Rocky who was standing atop a ladder fixing some lights. The screen splits again revealing a different angle of Rocky as he falls in slow motion with his tools. In slow motion as well, Banana Joe is now realising that the door of his locker is damaged. His expression changes from happiness to worry as the music becomes more dramatic. In normal speed, the kids bump into Miss Simian who drops her coffee mug. The screen splits to show her mug falling towards the ground in slow motion leaving a trail of liquid in the air behind it. In normal speed the kids bump into Carmen who was talking to Alan. The screen splits on her moving head first towards Alan in slow motion. Still in slow motion, Banana Joe is now opening the door of his locker to find the wreck left by Gumball and Darwin as the music becomes even more dramatic. In normal speed we see the kids accidentally pushing a door into Clayton’s face. The screen splits and we see the door about to connect with his face in slow motion. The screen is now full of slow motion shots all gearing towards disaster as the music reaches its tragic apex. In slow motion, Banana Joe opens his pen box to reveal his chewed up heirloom. At the precise moment when he sees the pen, all the other screens come to their shattering climax still in slow motion, the music hitting the tragic impacts. Rocky hits the floor as a rain of tools comes upon him, the coffee mug impacts with the floor and shatters, Carmen’s spikes connect with Alan who pops and the door slams into Clayton’s face sending ripples through his entire body. It’s a tragedy. Cut to normal speed in full screen, the music drops out. Banana Joe is facing the camera inside his locker behind him, Gumball and Darwin charge around a corner, their feet squeaking against the linoleum. They don’t even pause when they see that they’re too late and cover their faces as they sheepishly scurry out of shot not to be seen. Banana Joe’s face goes from horror to lethal anger. He slowly turns his head in their direction “HEY!”. We see them stop in their tracks from the back. Cut to the other side, we change focus from their gritted faces to reveal Banana Joe standing at the other end of the corridor, “Turn around you cowards!” They stand with their heads in their shoulders and their back to him, Gumball says with a weak high pitched voice “Hmmmm no thank you!” Banana Joe yells “Turn around and face the can of butt whopping that I’m gonna open on you!” Darwin says with a meek voice “Wouldn’t it be better to stay like we are for that?” “TURN AROOOOOUND!” Gumball and Darwin whisper to each other we can’t hear what the say but from their body language we understand that they are reluctantly agreeing to do what Joe says, there’s shrugs and head shakes and eventual nodding as they come to the agreement. Gumball says weakly “O.k.” They

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turn around and brace themselves as Banana Joe runs towards them screaming like a Celtic warrior. In one still shot we see that just when he is about to reach them he trips by himself, rolls and bounces forward and smacks his face onto the corner of the water fountain. He lays there unconscious as a massive brown banana bruise appears on his face. Gumball looks at him and says, “Oh that’s just great. Now people are gonna come around the corner, see him like that and think we are massive bullies.” Darwin breaks down “Which we are! Because of us he lost an eye, and we attacked him with a mirror, we stabbed his tube of glue, we chewed everything in his locker, he got a huge brown banana bruise on his little face and we even managed to ruin the most precious thing his family ever owned!” Gumball who is hanging his head in shame looks up quickly to mutter defensively, “He did chew that pen though.” “It doesn’t matter! What are we gonna do now?” Gumball thinks for a second then starts kicking himself in the face. Darwin is disconcerted “What are you doing?” Gumball continues his selfkicking “We need to look worse than him. Everybody has to think he won the fight” Darwin thinks for a second “Then we’ll be even! And we can be friends again! And no one will ever know what horrible people we are!” He starts swinging his body from side to side flailing his arms limply until they hit him in the face repeatedly. They gradually bruise and swell up as some heroic music rises. Gumball starts screaming “No Banana Joe please not the face!” Darwin screams “Oh no! Not with the elbow!” The music is now in full heroic mode as Darwin throws himself onto the lockers while gumball leaps vertically to reach a horizontal position and land face first onto the floor. They’re banging their foreheads onto the water fountain, slamming their fingers into the doors etc... As the music keeps swelling more and more heroically to its climax. Gumball shouts to Darwin “Pull one of my teeth out” Darwin tries to yank it out but it wont budge. The music cuts out and it suddenly looks pathetic. After a few attempts Gumball says “Alright alright forget it, lets just get into position” They slowly lower themselves onto the ground next to Joe trying to find the most appropriate rag doll positions they can next to him on the floor. Banana Joe wakes up as they observe him from the corner of their eye moaning, “What happened?!” Gumball speaks while lying down, “You kicked our butts that’s what happened!” Banana Joe is surprised by the outcome “Awesome!... I mean... I’m sorry, how could we come to that.” Darwin speaks still lying on the floor “It’s our fault Joe, it’s just... We didn’t know it was your family pen.” Banana Joe smiles and say “Well, Obadiah Banana always said that nothing is lost until you lose a friend, and I don’t want that to happen to us” Gumball is holding his tears back, sniffling and says with a broken voice “That’s really lame” They all try to hug but they hurt everywhere and don’t know how to do it. They try one position and go “Aoww”, they try another and moan in pain again, they try another way and hurt themselves some more and give up. Gumball sits upright and says “Aow!” Darwin looks at him disapprovingly “Come on man, no one even touched you” Gumball pulls out a pen from his pocket and starts laughing “You guys won’t believe it! You know the pen that Darwin lent you? It wasn’t his pen, it was mine! I’m the one who chews pens. Look it’s yours dude! It’s got your initials and stuff! Isn’t that funny? All that fighting for nothing when I had it in my pocket the whole time Hahaha!”

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Banana Joe and Darwin are looking at him sternly. They raise their hands ready to slap him, Gumball braces himself but they force themselves to gently stroke his face while still bearing their outraged expressions. The End

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