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09/02/97 2:24 AM It’s truly amazing to realize all this about realizations it feel really good to experience realizations like instant

moments of understanding that brings with it a view of perfection like pieces of a puzzle all fitting into place revealling a beautiful whole this how it’s been here on Crestone Creek these last fifty three days eight weeks on Thursday night less than three days from now a succession of realizations one that I had tonight then sort of forgot and remembered again is a sober realization has come to me many times over recent years it takes the form of the realization that we have what we need to make a choice about what we want to be aware of like an extension of the earlier discussion about the importance of being able to freely choose what to perceive with the senses rather than remaining a passive observer of sensory perceptions forced upon us either knowingly or unknowingly by other people for example in Green River the people driving by didn’t take that action to intentionally disturb me by making impressions upon my senses yet on Rudasill Road where it was very quiet and beautiful, the woman Mary-Helen Wickham-Mansur-Watson would intentionally storm into the room in which I was at work writing in peace and tranquility, absorbed in consciousness in an almost trance like state and intentionally generate disturbances by quite deliberately pre-conceived impressions upon my senses it got to where the only time I could feel peaceful was when it was predictable that disturbances were unlikely - like late at night when she was sleeping so I changed my schedule and staid up late at night writing and reading that’s how it was that one Joseph Washington Blagden came by late one evening uninvited and unwelcome at a time when it was quite predictable that Mary would be asleep Mr. Jody Blagden proceeded to tell a tale of frightening proportions involving suggestions that the “Soviets” are to be congratulated for their technique of making

contact with the peoples of the South American conteninent at the grass roots level, the ordinary people while Mr. Blagden proceeded to report that the US goes in through the banks a tales of how the two super powers carry out their “intelligence” operations for the purpose of influencing events in foreign countries of the world and in particular the south American continent Mr. Blagden concluded with an invitation to discuss it with Dr. John Niederhauser, a former employee of the Rockefeller Foundation sponsored agricultural research group in Mexico supposed Mr. Blagden was informing me that Mr. Niederhauser could tell me how the Soviets make contact with those people who have revolutionary intentions in Mexico while the US deals with the established power. From the perspective provided by the years I now say that it was Mr. Blagden’s intention to create a disturbance and there was certainly a disturbance created that evening. The big question is why me. Back then there was the question of who he was and who were the other people of his aquaintance and what was their purpose in the longer term. I recognized them as countr cultural radicals with some sort of zealous obsession that involved me. Now I have come to understand that there has long been this group of zealous people who are fanatical in their devotion to some sort of revolution although they disguise it in the form of words like “cultural Revolution” and nowadays “Ecological Revolution”. As I have already described. my personal view is that a cultural revolution can only occur as a result of intellectual and spiritual efforts and these require skilled work in communications via book writing or other media such as public speaking, music, movies and television programming. Direct action upon people such as that which was targeted on me to separate me from my family, children, friends, parents reeks of the programming and reprogramming techniques utilized by cult groups such as the Moonies and the rest. My life was invaded by cult members and they have never revealled the identity of their cult or even admitted that they were cult members invading my life. This one, which I believe is a rather large cult with a zealous devotion to bringing about an end to the western scientific industrial culture as they call it, has used those techniques on me - separate the

victim from influences of other people and then indoctrinate the target - using similar techniques to the brain washing used by all types of charismatic cults. A second principle is to render the victim helpless by taking away all the target’s property. Unlike most cult organizations who focus on voluntary recruits whom they lure into their sphere of influence in a situation in which the recruit knows that he/she is becoming a member, I was lured with sex and drugs and without the knowledge that a cult organization had targeted me for recruitment. The why me part I still haven’t figured out. It began as far as I know with the entry of Ellen Baker into Norman Johnson’s office. That was made possible by the influence of Gayfrd MacNabb-MacLean-Johnson-Steinberg to lure me to New Orleans with the possible offer of a lucrative consulting contract. It is possible that the Tucson group merely took advantage of the situation they saw developing. If it was engineered in NO then it is likely that Gayfrd and maybe John too are or were both cult members. Perhaps an LSD cult of some kind. If it is an opportunistic intiative of the Tucson cult chapter then it is most likely to have been initiated by Mary herslef. She was quite familiar with the situation going on at least a six months to the arrival of Dave Coates on the scene at the Tucson Raquet Club where contact with Gail was predictable. His arrival coincided nicely with the events in New Orleans and those in Japan yet Mary’s direct involvement in the Japan events prior to her overt knowledge of the NO situation some months later tends to confirm the suggestion that the NO, Japan and Tucson interventions were coordinated by the cult chapters in Tucson and New Orleans. In each of the three successive series of seductions, first in New Orleans, then in Kyoto and then later in Tucson, I was as restrained as I can imagine a married man with a healthy sexuality being capable of. Is it a coincidence that all three women in that short space of time from late 1976 to early 1979 practically gave them selves to me - in fact did give themselves to me nothing like it has happened either before or since too me.

Anyway the point is that there can be quite intentional disturbances and there can be disturbances that are nothing but ignorance. These are the types of disturbances that result from unintentional and quite deliberately intentional manipulation of sensory impressions. Could it be that the books of Carlos Castaneda are in fact a handbook in multiple volumes for the CCC (Counter Culture Cult or or shall we call then Nucloid mutant Ecozoids). In my case it seems that theft of property was the primary reason for the initial intrusion and continues to be. It is probably secondary to have another convert to the casue and third I believe that even as early as New Orleans in 1974, the MacLeans could easily have recognized aptitudes considered valuable to the future mutant Ecozoid cause. There is a struggle going right here and now. Between the expression of the realization concerning the symmetry of the two types of freedom of choice. First the realization regarding the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes with freedom of choice of sensory perception. I choose the beauty of the sensory perceptions of these beautiful mountains and these beautiful trees and creeks and forests. I choose the tranquility of quiet and peace which permits the mind to integrate itself and see the whole. Then there is psychic freedom. There are non-sensory distractions like the three legal issues and of course the central issue of the violently abusive unpredictable jailer and trails and stuff like that. Impoverishment. Homelessness. I see what they want and I will give it to them but only if I get what I want first and that is very inexpensive and would require less than has already been stolen from me. See how the struggle continues.

Psychic freedom like sensory freedom can be chosen but first we have to be aware that we can choose it and then have the courage to take action. Psychic freedom becomes possible when we have firmly acted for sensory freedom. In a state of continuous disturbance such as that of Green River, there is no opportunity to integrate enough psyche to begin to be aware that psychic freedom is real. Once sensory freedom is established by action, psychic freedom can be established and it requires some non-action in a state of sensory tranquility. Just as we don’t have to be passive observers of traffic noise and harassment from cohabitants invaders and neighbors, we don’t have to passive receptors of unpleasant and undesireable psychic material that we do not find fulfilling, enriching, enjoyable - that we don’t feel drawn too, attracted to. Once we become aware that we have a choice of psychic experience just as we have a choice of sensory perception, we can act with courage and conviction to choose. I prefer to have an awareness of the integrated, simultaneous psyche with the vast emptiness and immense power of the unconscious psyche that is greater part of it and to be in bliss at the wonder and beauty of the realization that this is true self nature not just this physical body in the instant of the now moment but pure consciousness pure psyche. I prefer that to an awareness of the legal problem with Mary and the possible pitfalls that await in the future. Or visions of poverty and eviction. Or even visions of a Zen monastery. I do have a vision of the future and it is not of a monastery. It is a home that I live in alone where I write and paint, where I cook and entertain, where I tend my garden and operate my energy system. A beautiful environment and a vert quiet and tranquil environment. It is the vision of sanctuary. A very private sanctuary for me and only me. This is what I am drawn too by sacred and divien prajna. I do not know how it will be accomplished but I am re-affirming my humble prayer to the vast unconscious and awesomely powerful magicall psyche to show me the way.