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Friends Talk: Life, Work & Love #1-11
Video Menu http://www.elguides.cc/SuccessConversations.html 1. TO BE OR NOT Suicide Ideas vs. Life Options BRIDGE OVER PARKWAY: Frank and Dick meet and stand by wall of high bridge. FRANK Well, we finally got here, Dick. It's good to see you again. DICK Yeah. Frank. But I almost didn‟t get here, FRANK What‟s going on? DICK Nothing. Nothing really. I miss the good times we had and the ideas about making things better. FRANK I remember. But I‟ve had to stop thinking so much, and work at finding what I could do and where. DICK I just keep thinking I‟m a failure. FRANK What are you thinking on a good day like right now? DICK Do you want the truth? FRANK Give me a try – I‟d like to hear what„s occupying your mind. DICK Being out of a job, out of a relationship, and out of luck. So I‟m thinking about not being around, maybe shooting myself … or jumping off this bridge! FRANK (moving closer) Hey, there‟s no do-overs in those games. Would you let a crazed terrorist get you? DICK I‟d put up some kind of fight. FRANK
Skipper. But I don‟t know about people. DICK You would! I don‟t need to be locked up. DICK But my life is flatter than a TV screen with shows I care less about and want to turn off… What would you have done. They walk off in the direction Frank entered. I like you as a friend and other people can really like you in the future. and people. I need getting on with something better. How about going to my house for dinner? DICK Thanks! I want to see your new games. if I had tried to go off this bridge? FRANK I would‟ve reminded you of your needy dog.So not like old Hamlet. you mostly want to be and maybe have a life. DICK I‟m low on maps about where I can do what I want to do. FRANK Well. places. FRANK It sounds like you‟re needing some new maps for living. . DICK (looking out to sky) Exploring I‟m good at. FRANK Your role now can be explorer of ideas. but dawn comes”. FRANK And talk about real life games and that “it‟s darkest before dawn. DICK So let‟s go. and called emergency mental health if necessary.
FRANK You sound like your father -. FRANK Lori used to like you. Just do what I tell you. But why should she. He blew-up all the time. FRANK There‟s ways we want to be like our parents. but not all their ways.the big critic who you said complained and put you down. DICK It was my birthday cake. DICK Man I sure don‟t want to imitate his nasty style. Anger Control FRONT OF HOUSE: Frank and Dick (with birthday hat) talking by front door. FRANK So Dick. FRANK You mean not act like a king who‟s entitled to … DICK What do you mean? FRANK Here I‟ll show you. Then because you couldn‟t have more alcohol after acting drunk. . here we are. FRANK Lori took time to get a good looking one.2. It was his way or no way. outside. and end up miserable. DICK She doesn‟t like me anyway. DICK That‟s not half the story. LIKE YOUR FATHER Rage View vs. Frank. you put your fist in the cake. That really bothered Lori. when you act like you don‟t care? DICK Why should I? People are always getting in my way -bugging me. not have real friends.
I get it -. . (Jumping up & down) Ah you‟re an ass. They look at each other.do what you want.DICK Why? FRANK Don‟t make me mad. DICK Oh. DICK Maybe I should not should on people so much.you‟re acting mad cause I didn‟t go along with you. DICK I don‟t get this.must -. FRANK Yeah.of thinking people should -. or you punish them by acting bad. angry if it‟s not what I expect. (Angry sound). I‟ll get nasty. how about cooling it. FRANK That‟s the anger trigger -. DICK I guess I get hot. FRANK (Loudly) Now you did it. Then discuss your expectations and views.
you may get more isolated and alienated. we get weaker -. DICK Let me alone to maybe go back to sleep. FRANK Get up! That‟s the first big step. Using BEDROOM: Dick lying down.like the astronauts in zero gravity lose their muscles. DICK I don‟t want to hear you Frank. Maybe lose your good mind. CAN‟T GET UP? Losing vs. FRANK If we lay around too much. What‟s up? Obviously. FRANK If you don‟t talk. Frank enters. DICK I don‟t want to talk.3. DICK I‟m can‟t get up. Go away FRANK You weren‟t answering the phone. FRANK Hey Dick. DICK Too bad. DICK How would I “lose my mind”? FRANK Become less able to interact with real people instead of imaginary ones. . not you. DICK I‟ve been down since the other night FRANK I‟m sorry to hear that it‟s still on your back. wake up. I used the key you gave me to get in. I‟m down.
DICK Maybe I‟ll be a bum on the street. I don‟t know how to beg. I‟ll get up. I can‟t get up. Get some help. DICK You don‟t understand: I‟m so down. (both laugh) Dick gets up. FRANK No more working huh. .no give and take. be helpful.FRANK Can‟t or won‟t. or better. FRANK A begging bum? DICK Just a bum “bum”. Just take -. FRANK Do you believe that? What if your bed was on fire? DICK Depends on whether I was already laying down. FRANK Get out. DICK I thought you were going to say “use it or lose it” -again! Don‟t say it.
And if there‟s too much light. you seem tired lately. but can‟t sleep at night like I used to.4. honey. FRANK OK. Then fill your mind with soothing words and images that help relax your body. TIRED. I‟ll put it on (gets eyeshade on) It‟s really dark in here now. YET AWAKE Relaxing and Sleeping BED WITH QUILT: Frank and Lori heads on pillow LORI Frank. FRANK (adjusting body) I‟m comfortable. . then I‟m stimulated. LORI (drawing out italicized words) First. LORI I could show you a the ways I put myself to sleep. LORI Good. I‟ve gotten into thinking when in bed. LORI (softer) Good. Lori. make sure you are really comfortable. FRANK What are they?. LORI Sounds familiar. Those mental trips can be too stimulating. you can use your eyeshade. LORI What‟s keeping you awake? FRANK Gees. There‟s more relaxing words that start with a “C” besides “comfortable”. Do you want some help stopping them? FRANK Sure. but I don‟t want sleeping pill problems. One idea leads to another. FRANK I am tired. wide awake.
FRANK Ah. slowly easily … LORI (slowly. then a snore) Lori looks over at Frank and gives him a kiss. FRANK (mumbling very slowly) Really contented. Then just let yourself breathe in naturally – freely. Withdrawing. with the rest of your body comfortably warm. Just hum inside. FRANK (breathing deeply) My body is warm. softly) Right. All contented in a peaceful completely restful state. easily. FRANK Sure. LORI (slowly. Think of your heart calming down... FRANK (relaxed) I‟m imagining my heart beating calmer.. . softly) Carefree..FRANK I‟m thinking of being calm. Mmm. my head is cool . … cont … (rolling head back and over. Starting to go to sleep. LORI (slowly. carefree. LORI (talking slower) Yes calm. closing off the world for awhile. quiet. LORI (very slowly) Good. clear. And breathe out tensions or thoughts very slowly. softly) Uh huh. Imagine a cool breeze on your head. Calm. Let your mind be clear of distractions now.
DICK You were looking for a different job. Mainly it takes selecting and tailoring them to fit. DICK Well.5. FRANK Yes. FRANK I was until the manager here thought that since I‟ve had lots of experience getting jobs.along with where you‟ve shown those qualities in school and work. DICK What‟s the top tip? FRANK Using my super powers. DICK Okay. DICK What would I say for my field? FRANK Tell the interviewer that you‟re a creative. tipper. Dick. DICK My own ad? FRANK Yes. I do like working here as employment counselor. and honest person -. analytical. Frank. tell me the secrets? FRANK Don‟t call me a pundit and I‟ll give you some tips. I could help other people do the same. I‟ll say “Your Own Advertisement”. pundit. WHAT TO SAY Real Self-Confidence OFFICE: Frank and Dick at desk. FRANK The secrets are not really secret. Get together a smooth two minute summary of your relevant qualities and strengths. .
or want to do that might relate to the other person. DICK (nodding) Well. DICK Right now help me with what to say about myself when I meet somebody interesting. Make a list of your strengths and successes of any kind -. it‟s being confident about telling who you are. DICK I don‟t like bragging about myself. quick personal story that connects at the time. DICK When people want to hear what I‟m saying. FRANK People want to hear what you have to say when you tell a lively.without alcohol or other drugs. .even if you‟re unsure about their value. FRANK It‟s not bragging. I can say that … Frank listening. So when are you most confident? DICK Mostly when I‟ve had a few beers. FRANK Confident -. FRANK Talk about what you‟ve done.DICK Are you saying that because you‟re being nice? Have you‟ve seen those qualities in me? FRANK Sure I have. or are doing.
FRANK Dick. How‟s your new course? DICK I might fail. FRANK What for? To give a presentation? DICK Yeah. bad. and far out. funny-looking or boring. FRANK This college class isn‟t going to be trashing you. DICK No. DICK I‟ve had this fear since I was a kid. do you really believe all that? DICK No. but they may be thinking it. . but they might. FRANK Is it too hard? DICK It‟s too hard for me to get up in front of the class. I don‟t want the class looking at me and talking trash about me. how‟s it going? FRANK Good enough. HOLDING BACK Fear vs. Self-Esteem GYM: Dick and Frank at entrance DICK Hey Frank man. FRANK What‟s it? DICK That I‟m dumb. Dick.6. FRANK They might be thinking all kinds of stuff – mostly about themselves like you are – maybe good.
DICK It takes one to know one. Let‟s pretend kids are saying those words to you. FRANK (steps alongside again) I‟m rubber. you‟re glue DICK So your crap bounces off me and sticks to you. Go ahead. FRANK But you‟re funny-looking and boring. and have fun with your talk. Go with who you are now. . DICK Then what? FRANK We‟ll answer the kids better this time. FRANK You look dumb. DICK I know a lot. FRANK (Talking alongside Dick) And I‟m prepared to talk about what I know. DICK I‟ll play your silly game. FRANK (laughs) You‟re getting into it. and ugly too. DICK You must have dumb eyes. DICK I can do it if I have a helmet. People will like you. I‟m pretty smart. Frank gives Dick hat.FRANK Then let‟s be kids about it.
I usually play a half hour a day unless I have more important things on my list. . tired.bet you‟re still playing a lot. then don‟t play for a day or two. LORI I‟ve actually been cutting down on game time. REALLY WANT Life and Other Games HOME OFFICE: Lori and Dick standing at work area LORI Dick. bored. DICK Be honest: Don‟t you want to play more? LORI If I really have a strong desire. LORI I wanted to have more time for other things: priorities. mostly when I‟m off center. LORI No. If I go over my limit. I‟ll go for two hours. DICK Zall right Lori.7. insecure. I‟ll let myself go for an hour and once in awhile. Now you can play games faster. DICK I can‟t believe it -. DICK What! Not a player like you! We‟re both addicts. thanks for setting up my new router system. DICK Really. DICK That‟s tough. LORI Now I play a game with myself about games. And I got rid of a game that was out-of-control. DICK But don‟t you really want to play more? LORI I want to play more when I‟m stressed. hungry. You punish yourself.
the hardest part is stopping once I start. my success! DICK For me.LORI A little. More like I show myself I can do without silly games -. DICK And? LORI And. there is the time structure – with rewards including praises and sometimes penalties. LORI And looking into the future … how do you succeed? DICK By not starting with it. I lined up more interesting things to do. I practiced seeing myself actually turning off the games and enjoying myself. DICK Dang.that makes me feel freer. How do you do it? LORI Well. since I knew I could cheat. LORI Believing I would do it. But actually I‟m freer avoiding timewasters that imprison me from what really matters. DICK What was the hardest part for you? I know what it is for me. like any relationships! Dick nods. LORI Sure I want to be free to continue like a kid. DICK But you‟re restricting your own freedom. LORI It gets easier once we find a better replacement. . by not having the game around to tempt me.
LOR I(laughs) It took a lot more than luck. that gave us more to relate to than just. LORI Knowing who the other person really is can be a life saver! It gave me more real confidence. We both like the view. Frank. LOVE LUCK? Dating vs. FRANK For our communication. FRANK Well Lori now I can to tell you that Dick thinks we‟re lucky to have such a good relationship.8. . since we met in a group with similar interests and values. and it‟s private enough here to talk. Relating Part 1 SCENIC PLACE: Lori and Frank LORI I love this place. we've used a whole variety of skills. LORI Yeah.especially since misunderstandings were often the cause of problems. We‟ve had to learn to appreciate and understand each other. like listening and clarifying -. LORI Yeah. FRANK In a way we made our own luck. FRANK It helps when we lighten up with fun and humor. basic chemistry! (they laugh) FRANK A big benefit was being able to get to know each other gradually. LORI Yeah. ha ha ha. FRANK That gave us a good foundation for building our friendship. and then our special partnership.
and taking turns.LORI You bet.. Another luck-maker. Communication. in our success. and cooperation. consideration. That way I can be my best self. loving who we are together. has been the consideration of each other needs.. LORI That makes two of us. LORI I love your cooperation. LORI Even less easy is awareness of our old habits that get in the way of our relationship. FRANK I love it too. I can think of one more . They look at each other..which is not always easy. LORI Let me see.. FRANK We mentioned three good relationship words that start with a C. FRANK That leads to great cooperation -. CUT | END . FRANK Mmm..like mutual support on valued goals-. FRANK And that's meant awareness of feelings -.
I remember several good relationship "C" words that many people agreed on in that dating seminar we attended. there‟s the maintenance of our partnership -after all the building! LORI We‟ve been talking about these facts of life from when we first decided to have a solid relationship. Relating Part 2 SCENIC PLACE: Lori and Frank. we compromise to reconcile our differences. and experience. With our disagreements. LORI Yes.compliments work better. But we get there. or “You never …”. LORI That repeating C sound is a great memory aid . FRANK It isn‟t always smooth. LORI Ah.9. FRANK Amazingly from the seminar there are more C words that go together in maintaining good relationships. LORI Our art of relating has grown better with effort. FRANK We avoid generalizations such as “You always …”. LOVE LUCK? Dating vs. we trust each other and we let go of trivia so we can negotiate jointly valued solution. FRANK Now. FRANK How about the fancy word: conciliation. LORI And minimize criticism -.
FRANK Yeah.enough personal power for self control. maybe with a bit of compassion. and rules.FRANK Another is commitment based on agreements about goals. CUT | END . control and caring – based on lots of relationship research studies. commitment. it helps prevent conflicts and problems. LORI Uh huh. Also there's the motivation to make things work well FRANK. They kiss each other. honest contract. we have a clear. FRANK Having enough control of decisions for fulfilling the commitments LORI Right -. LORI Ah. Accepting reality and making the best of life that we can. that makes four more relationship "C"s: conciliation. the wisdom of love. LORI Then there‟s control. FRANK Well. and even humor. roles. FRANK So taking the problems constructively as stimulating challenges. LORI In other words. for making better luck! . That could be called caring. LORI I think that‟s an attitude: seeing problems as possibilities for positive change.
I was going to a movie until the calendar popped up. There‟s things I like to focus on.one way or another. FRANK Gratitude for the calendar messages that remind us of the calendar. FRANK That‟s true with knowing where I put my keys. I think I have an attention problem. Also putting them in the same special place helps. DICK Where it gets mind boggling is having to remember many things for an event. FRANK But not other things. Maybe things we‟re good at doing and matter more to us. DICK Right. DICK That‟s true. DICK I‟ve heard that for uninteresting things. . FRANK I‟ve seen you writing things down and I tried it. Seems often more about focusing. DICK It‟s hard for me to focus on some things. about 5 seconds of focusing is needed to remember them.10. FRANK Most of us do -. It frees up my mind. huh. Thanks pal. FRANK Me too. WHAT WAS IT? Focusing and Memory PARK: Dick and Frank standing DICK I almost forgot that we‟re walking today.
DICK Let‟s do a relaxing walk through these trees.DICK You‟re welcome. DICK Oh. FRANK I‟ve found having checklists to cover everything to do or take is the only way I can be sure. FRANK Yeah. then it‟s harder to pay attention to details. . but it hard to keep track of all the little notes. DICK You were telling me that Lori helped you get to sleep easier with some relaxation techniques. FRANK Lists are a powerful tool. DICK Sometimes I just try to go faster when I‟m tense. more trying then gives less success. Another tool I like is a timer to take a timeout when I‟m too stressed. pay attention to one thing at a time They look around. The time spent is well rewarded. I write down my ideas and other stuff. like the checklists pilots and campers use to not miss any essentials for their trips. FRANK Those relaxing words and images reduce stress anytime. So that‟s when a relaxing time-out or “breather” really helps. FRANK And like the ancient advice.
FRANK (surprised) What do you mean? I was just trying to help you get over it. LORI I was pretty mad. LORI I don‟t want you giving me a quick fix.11. LORI (amused. Lori. Let‟s watch a video. FRANK (nodding) LORI And insulting. Listening COURTYARD: Frank and Lori in front of fountain LORI (agitated) Sally really bugged me again today. AWESOME EMPATHY* Fixing vs. Frank. FRANK What happened? LORI She was changing what we agreed on again! FRANK Frustrating huh? LORI Yah. FRANK Then what do you want? LORI I just want you to listen and hear me out. FRANK Well I‟m here now to hear you. then irritated) That‟s not what I was wanting. . FRANK You should tell her to stop the buggy arguments or you‟ll use the bug spray.
LORI And I‟ve been holding onto resentments of Sally for quite awhile. FRANK (looking and nodding) LORI (sighing) Now I feel clearer. LORI How would you have felt? FRANK Probably the same. FRANK I can see that.FRANK You felt put down? LORI I felt hurt because we‟ve been friends. FRANK You‟re welcome. * Also separate #11 student copy at Scrbd. Frank. FRANK Yeah. Good! LORI (warmly) Thanks for listening. FRANK (smiling) Is that what it‟s called? They look openly at each other. lighter after telling you about it. LORI She could have asked me before breaking another agreement. FRANK Hmm. LORI I really appreciate your empathy.com . You‟ve done that for me.
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