Friends Talk: Life, Work & Love

EL Lotecka

Friends Talk: Life, Work & Love #1-11
Video Menu http://www.elguides.cc/SuccessConversations.html 1. TO BE OR NOT Suicide Ideas vs. Life Options BRIDGE OVER PARKWAY: Frank and Dick meet and stand by wall of high bridge. FRANK Well, we finally got here, Dick. It's good to see you again. DICK Yeah. Frank. But I almost didn‟t get here, FRANK What‟s going on? DICK Nothing. Nothing really. I miss the good times we had and the ideas about making things better. FRANK I remember. But I‟ve had to stop thinking so much, and work at finding what I could do and where. DICK I just keep thinking I‟m a failure. FRANK What are you thinking on a good day like right now? DICK Do you want the truth? FRANK Give me a try – I‟d like to hear what„s occupying your mind. DICK Being out of a job, out of a relationship, and out of luck. So I‟m thinking about not being around, maybe shooting myself … or jumping off this bridge! FRANK (moving closer) Hey, there‟s no do-overs in those games. Would you let a crazed terrorist get you? DICK I‟d put up some kind of fight. FRANK

DICK You would! I don‟t need to be locked up. DICK (looking out to sky) Exploring I‟m good at. FRANK It sounds like you‟re needing some new maps for living. How about going to my house for dinner? DICK Thanks! I want to see your new games.So not like old Hamlet. They walk off in the direction Frank entered. FRANK Your role now can be explorer of ideas. and called emergency mental health if necessary. and people. I need getting on with something better. but dawn comes”. DICK So let‟s go. FRANK And talk about real life games and that “it‟s darkest before dawn. FRANK Well. places. if I had tried to go off this bridge? FRANK I would‟ve reminded you of your needy dog. DICK I‟m low on maps about where I can do what I want to do. you mostly want to be and maybe have a life. But I don‟t know about people. I like you as a friend and other people can really like you in the future. Skipper. DICK But my life is flatter than a TV screen with shows I care less about and want to turn off… What would you have done. .

Then because you couldn‟t have more alcohol after acting drunk. DICK It was my birthday cake. here we are. Just do what I tell you. FRANK There‟s ways we want to be like our parents. FRANK So Dick. That really bothered Lori. It was his way or no way. outside. LIKE YOUR FATHER Rage View vs. DICK That‟s not half the story. when you act like you don‟t care? DICK Why should I? People are always getting in my way -bugging me. FRANK You mean not act like a king who‟s entitled to … DICK What do you mean? FRANK Here I‟ll show you. FRANK Lori took time to get a good looking one. FRANK You sound like your father -. and end up miserable. . But why should she. DICK She doesn‟t like me anyway. FRANK Lori used to like you. Frank.the big critic who you said complained and put you down. but not all their ways.2. Anger Control FRONT OF HOUSE: Frank and Dick (with birthday hat) talking by front door. you put your fist in the cake. DICK Man I sure don‟t want to imitate his nasty style. He blew-up all the time. not have real friends.

DICK Oh. FRANK That‟s the anger trigger -. DICK Maybe I should not should on people so much. .DICK Why? FRANK Don‟t make me mad. FRANK (Loudly) Now you did it.of thinking people should -. I‟ll get nasty. or you punish them by acting bad. Then discuss your expectations and views. angry if it‟s not what I expect.must -. (Jumping up & down) Ah you‟re an ass. FRANK Yeah. I get it -. DICK I guess I get hot.do what you want. DICK I don‟t get this. They look at each other. (Angry sound). how about cooling it.you‟re acting mad cause I didn‟t go along with you.

DICK I don‟t want to hear you Frank. we get weaker -. DICK Too bad. Using BEDROOM: Dick lying down. DICK Let me alone to maybe go back to sleep. DICK I don‟t want to talk. not you. What‟s up? Obviously. FRANK If we lay around too much. FRANK If you don‟t talk. FRANK Hey Dick. I‟m down. CAN‟T GET UP? Losing vs. Frank enters. Maybe lose your good mind. I used the key you gave me to get in. wake up. .3. Go away FRANK You weren‟t answering the phone. FRANK Get up! That‟s the first big step. DICK How would I “lose my mind”? FRANK Become less able to interact with real people instead of imaginary ones. you may get more isolated and alienated. DICK I‟m can‟t get up.like the astronauts in zero gravity lose their muscles. DICK I‟ve been down since the other night FRANK I‟m sorry to hear that it‟s still on your back.

DICK Maybe I‟ll be a bum on the street. DICK I thought you were going to say “use it or lose it” -again! Don‟t say it. Just take -. . I‟ll get up. FRANK No more working huh. FRANK Get out. I don‟t know how to beg.FRANK Can‟t or won‟t. FRANK A begging bum? DICK Just a bum “bum”. FRANK Do you believe that? What if your bed was on fire? DICK Depends on whether I was already laying down. be helpful. (both laugh) Dick gets up. or better. DICK You don‟t understand: I‟m so down. I can‟t get up. Get some help.no give and take.

Lori. LORI (softer) Good. I‟ll put it on (gets eyeshade on) It‟s really dark in here now. And if there‟s too much light. YET AWAKE Relaxing and Sleeping BED WITH QUILT: Frank and Lori heads on pillow LORI Frank. Do you want some help stopping them? FRANK Sure. but I don‟t want sleeping pill problems. There‟s more relaxing words that start with a “C” besides “comfortable”. you seem tired lately. LORI Sounds familiar. make sure you are really comfortable. FRANK I am tired. FRANK OK. FRANK What are they?. you can use your eyeshade. I‟ve gotten into thinking when in bed. FRANK (adjusting body) I‟m comfortable. Those mental trips can be too stimulating. but can‟t sleep at night like I used to. LORI (drawing out italicized words) First. . LORI I could show you a the ways I put myself to sleep. TIRED. wide awake.4. then I‟m stimulated. Then fill your mind with soothing words and images that help relax your body. LORI Good. honey. LORI What‟s keeping you awake? FRANK Gees. One idea leads to another.

softly) Carefree. FRANK (relaxed) I‟m imagining my heart beating calmer. FRANK Sure. LORI (slowly. softly) Right.. softly) Uh huh. Mmm. … cont … (rolling head back and over. FRANK Ah. carefree.FRANK I‟m thinking of being calm.. Let your mind be clear of distractions now. Starting to go to sleep. slowly easily … LORI (slowly. Calm. Withdrawing. easily.. with the rest of your body comfortably warm. .. LORI (slowly. And breathe out tensions or thoughts very slowly. my head is cool . Then just let yourself breathe in naturally – freely. LORI (very slowly) Good. FRANK (breathing deeply) My body is warm. then a snore) Lori looks over at Frank and gives him a kiss. clear. LORI (talking slower) Yes calm. quiet. Think of your heart calming down. Imagine a cool breeze on your head. FRANK (mumbling very slowly) Really contented. Just hum inside. All contented in a peaceful completely restful state. closing off the world for awhile.

pundit. . DICK What would I say for my field? FRANK Tell the interviewer that you‟re a creative. Mainly it takes selecting and tailoring them to fit. Dick. Frank. analytical. I‟ll say “Your Own Advertisement”. I could help other people do the same. DICK My own ad? FRANK Yes. DICK Okay. tipper. DICK Well. tell me the secrets? FRANK Don‟t call me a pundit and I‟ll give you some tips. WHAT TO SAY Real Self-Confidence OFFICE: Frank and Dick at desk. I do like working here as employment counselor. DICK What‟s the top tip? FRANK Using my super powers. DICK You were looking for a different job. and honest person -. FRANK The secrets are not really secret. FRANK I was until the manager here thought that since I‟ve had lots of experience getting jobs. Get together a smooth two minute summary of your relevant qualities and strengths. FRANK Yes.5.along with where you‟ve shown those qualities in school and work.

So when are you most confident? DICK Mostly when I‟ve had a few beers. DICK When people want to hear what I‟m saying.even if you‟re unsure about their value.without alcohol or other drugs. FRANK People want to hear what you have to say when you tell a lively. Make a list of your strengths and successes of any kind -. FRANK It‟s not bragging. I can say that … Frank listening. FRANK Talk about what you‟ve done.DICK Are you saying that because you‟re being nice? Have you‟ve seen those qualities in me? FRANK Sure I have. it‟s being confident about telling who you are. or are doing. DICK Right now help me with what to say about myself when I meet somebody interesting. DICK I don‟t like bragging about myself. or want to do that might relate to the other person. FRANK Confident -. DICK (nodding) Well. . quick personal story that connects at the time.

HOLDING BACK Fear vs. FRANK Dick. FRANK This college class isn‟t going to be trashing you. FRANK What‟s it? DICK That I‟m dumb. but they might. DICK I‟ve had this fear since I was a kid. FRANK What for? To give a presentation? DICK Yeah. how‟s it going? FRANK Good enough. bad. funny-looking or boring. . FRANK Is it too hard? DICK It‟s too hard for me to get up in front of the class. Self-Esteem GYM: Dick and Frank at entrance DICK Hey Frank man.6. I don‟t want the class looking at me and talking trash about me. FRANK They might be thinking all kinds of stuff – mostly about themselves like you are – maybe good. How‟s your new course? DICK I might fail. do you really believe all that? DICK No. Dick. DICK No. and far out. but they may be thinking it.

you‟re glue DICK So your crap bounces off me and sticks to you. FRANK (laughs) You‟re getting into it. FRANK (steps alongside again) I‟m rubber. FRANK But you‟re funny-looking and boring. People will like you. and have fun with your talk. Let‟s pretend kids are saying those words to you. and ugly too. Go ahead. I‟m pretty smart. Frank gives Dick hat. DICK I can do it if I have a helmet. FRANK You look dumb. FRANK (Talking alongside Dick) And I‟m prepared to talk about what I know. DICK You must have dumb eyes. Go with who you are now. DICK I know a lot. DICK Then what? FRANK We‟ll answer the kids better this time. DICK I‟ll play your silly game. DICK It takes one to know one. .FRANK Then let‟s be kids about it.

DICK Zall right Lori. DICK Really. mostly when I‟m off center. DICK But don‟t you really want to play more? LORI I want to play more when I‟m stressed. You punish yourself. LORI I‟ve actually been cutting down on game time. If I go over my limit. REALLY WANT Life and Other Games HOME OFFICE: Lori and Dick standing at work area LORI Dick. And I got rid of a game that was out-of-control. LORI I wanted to have more time for other things: priorities. I‟ll go for two hours. thanks for setting up my new router system.7. bored. DICK That‟s tough. hungry. insecure. DICK I can‟t believe it -. Now you can play games faster.bet you‟re still playing a lot. tired. I usually play a half hour a day unless I have more important things on my list. LORI No. LORI Now I play a game with myself about games. DICK Be honest: Don‟t you want to play more? LORI If I really have a strong desire. I‟ll let myself go for an hour and once in awhile. then don‟t play for a day or two. DICK What! Not a player like you! We‟re both addicts. .

How do you do it? LORI Well. LORI Sure I want to be free to continue like a kid. DICK And? LORI And. since I knew I could cheat.that makes me feel freer. I practiced seeing myself actually turning off the games and enjoying myself. But actually I‟m freer avoiding timewasters that imprison me from what really matters. by not having the game around to tempt me. like any relationships! Dick nods. . my success! DICK For me. DICK But you‟re restricting your own freedom. LORI Believing I would do it. DICK Dang. I lined up more interesting things to do. the hardest part is stopping once I start. there is the time structure – with rewards including praises and sometimes penalties. LORI And looking into the future … how do you succeed? DICK By not starting with it. DICK What was the hardest part for you? I know what it is for me. LORI It gets easier once we find a better replacement. More like I show myself I can do without silly games -.LORI A little.

We both like the view. . we've used a whole variety of skills. FRANK In a way we made our own luck. FRANK For our communication. FRANK That gave us a good foundation for building our friendship. LORI Knowing who the other person really is can be a life saver! It gave me more real confidence. that gave us more to relate to than just.8. like listening and clarifying -. ha ha ha. since we met in a group with similar interests and values. LORI Yeah. LOVE LUCK? Dating vs. FRANK It helps when we lighten up with fun and humor. Frank. FRANK Well Lori now I can to tell you that Dick thinks we‟re lucky to have such a good relationship. and it‟s private enough here to talk.especially since misunderstandings were often the cause of problems. Relating Part 1 SCENIC PLACE: Lori and Frank LORI I love this place. LOR I(laughs) It took a lot more than luck. LORI Yeah. We‟ve had to learn to appreciate and understand each other. and then our special partnership. LORI Yeah. basic chemistry! (they laugh) FRANK A big benefit was being able to get to know each other gradually.

LORI Even less easy is awareness of our old habits that get in the way of our relationship. FRANK I love it too.like mutual support on valued goals-. Another luck-maker. FRANK That leads to great cooperation -. FRANK We mentioned three good relationship words that start with a C. in our success. LORI Let me see. and cooperation. FRANK And that's meant awareness of feelings -.. Communication. CUT | END . FRANK Mmm. has been the consideration of each other needs. loving who we are together....which is not always easy.LORI You bet. LORI I love your cooperation. consideration. That way I can be my best self. LORI That makes two of us.and taking turns.. I can think of one more . They look at each other.

and experience. Relating Part 2 SCENIC PLACE: Lori and Frank. LORI That repeating C sound is a great memory aid . LORI Yes. LORI Ah. I remember several good relationship "C" words that many people agreed on in that dating seminar we attended. FRANK We avoid generalizations such as “You always …”. we compromise to reconcile our differences. we trust each other and we let go of trivia so we can negotiate jointly valued solution. With our disagreements.9. FRANK How about the fancy word: conciliation. LOVE LUCK? Dating vs. or “You never …”. LORI And minimize criticism -. But we get there. FRANK It isn‟t always smooth. there‟s the maintenance of our partnership -after all the building! LORI We‟ve been talking about these facts of life from when we first decided to have a solid relationship. FRANK Amazingly from the seminar there are more C words that go together in maintaining good relationships. FRANK Now.compliments work better. LORI Our art of relating has grown better with effort.

LORI In other words. it helps prevent conflicts and problems. maybe with a bit of compassion. honest contract. FRANK Yeah. commitment. control and caring – based on lots of relationship research studies. FRANK Well.enough personal power for self control. That could be called caring. FRANK So taking the problems constructively as stimulating challenges. and even humor. we have a clear. LORI I think that‟s an attitude: seeing problems as possibilities for positive change. CUT | END . LORI Ah. LORI Then there‟s control. LORI Uh huh. Accepting reality and making the best of life that we can. They kiss each other. and rules. roles. FRANK Having enough control of decisions for fulfilling the commitments LORI Right -. Also there's the motivation to make things work well FRANK. that makes four more relationship "C"s: conciliation.FRANK Another is commitment based on agreements about goals. for making better luck! . the wisdom of love.

I was going to a movie until the calendar popped up. FRANK Me too. It frees up my mind. DICK It‟s hard for me to focus on some things.10. huh. DICK Right. DICK I‟ve heard that for uninteresting things. FRANK Gratitude for the calendar messages that remind us of the calendar. Seems often more about focusing. FRANK That‟s true with knowing where I put my keys. Thanks pal. Maybe things we‟re good at doing and matter more to us.one way or another. DICK That‟s true. . WHAT WAS IT? Focusing and Memory PARK: Dick and Frank standing DICK I almost forgot that we‟re walking today. There‟s things I like to focus on. DICK Where it gets mind boggling is having to remember many things for an event. FRANK Most of us do -. FRANK I‟ve seen you writing things down and I tried it. FRANK But not other things. Also putting them in the same special place helps. I think I have an attention problem. about 5 seconds of focusing is needed to remember them.

FRANK I‟ve found having checklists to cover everything to do or take is the only way I can be sure. more trying then gives less success. like the checklists pilots and campers use to not miss any essentials for their trips. FRANK Lists are a powerful tool. pay attention to one thing at a time They look around. Another tool I like is a timer to take a timeout when I‟m too stressed. I write down my ideas and other stuff. The time spent is well rewarded. DICK Sometimes I just try to go faster when I‟m tense. DICK Let‟s do a relaxing walk through these trees.DICK You‟re welcome. FRANK Yeah. but it hard to keep track of all the little notes. DICK You were telling me that Lori helped you get to sleep easier with some relaxation techniques. then it‟s harder to pay attention to details. . So that‟s when a relaxing time-out or “breather” really helps. FRANK And like the ancient advice. FRANK Those relaxing words and images reduce stress anytime. DICK Oh.

. LORI (amused. LORI I was pretty mad. FRANK Then what do you want? LORI I just want you to listen and hear me out. Lori. FRANK Well I‟m here now to hear you. FRANK You should tell her to stop the buggy arguments or you‟ll use the bug spray. FRANK (nodding) LORI And insulting. Frank. Let‟s watch a video. FRANK (surprised) What do you mean? I was just trying to help you get over it. LORI I don‟t want you giving me a quick fix. Listening COURTYARD: Frank and Lori in front of fountain LORI (agitated) Sally really bugged me again today. FRANK What happened? LORI She was changing what we agreed on again! FRANK Frustrating huh? LORI Yah.11. then irritated) That‟s not what I was wanting. AWESOME EMPATHY* Fixing vs.

FRANK (looking and nodding) LORI (sighing) Now I feel clearer. * Also separate #11 student copy at Scrbd. LORI I really appreciate your empathy. FRANK Yeah. FRANK Hmm. lighter after telling you about it. Frank. FRANK (smiling) Is that what it‟s called? They look openly at each other. FRANK You‟re welcome. Good! LORI (warmly) Thanks for listening. LORI And I‟ve been holding onto resentments of Sally for quite awhile.FRANK You felt put down? LORI I felt hurt because we‟ve been friends. FRANK I can see that. LORI She could have asked me before breaking another agreement.com . LORI How would you have felt? FRANK Probably the same. You‟ve done that for me.