Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle By Eric Mann

INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT- DAY Larry sits in an empty Mexican restaurant chowing down on a massive burrito. He signals to a young Mexican guy getting his attention. LARRY Jorge! Jorge! JORGE Si? LARRY Jorge if it’s not too much to ask can I get a little bit more guacamole? JORGE Si Larry, of course. For you? Of course. Larry puts his hands out to the side and smirks. LARRY Gracias Jorge. Really, gracias. Take your time Jorge. No rush here! JORGE No problemo Larry. Jorge goes to the kitchen in the back to get more guacamole. Larry is about to take another bite of his burrito when his phone rings. LARRY Hey Jeff, listen tomorrow drop your plans I gotta take you to this Mexican restaurant it’s unbelievable. It’s the best Mexican in Los Angeles. Larry listens to Jeff for a few seconds on the phone. LARRY(CONT’D) Right, 9 your house tonight. Should I bring anything? No? Ok. Ok. Bye. Jorge comes back out with a massive bowl of guacamole for Larry.




LARRY(CONT’D) Holy guacamole! That’s a lot of guac there. JORGE Si Larry, for you of course. LARRY You know, you got something good here you know that? JORGE Si Larry. LARRY Really you do. I’m gonna bring you more business to come. JORGE Gracias Larry. You are generous. LARRY Ehh, c’mon Jorge, for you of course! JORGE Much appreciated Larry. LARRY Stop it. Come on now. Larry gets back to his burrito and keeps eating. Time passes and Larry is cleaning his teeth with a toothpick. LARRY(CONT’D) Ok Jorge, I’m going, but I’ll be back tomorrow. JORGE Si. Adios Larry. LARRY Adios. Larry leaves a nice size tip on the table and walks out of the restaurant.

3. She gets closer and Larry smiles at her from a distance. Another woman. so he shoots her a smile. Why? WOMAN That wasn’t a nice smile. Larry looks back at her confused as she walks by. he cleans his teeth with a toothpick. He smiles at her. She puts her head down and keeps walking faster.DAY Larry walks down the street extremely content with the meal he just had. He sees an attractive woman walk by. excuse me Ms. (CONTINUED) . He prepares to give her a nice smile. He throws his toothpick on the ground and keeps walking. She puts her head down and starts to walk past him. STREET. starts to walk past Larry. LARRY You’re going to tell me that wasn’t a nice smile? I’m pretty sure that the smile I sent you was purely appropriate for a walk by stranger smile. Larry starts to keep walking but decides to follow her. LARRY Excuse me. From far away he sees another woman about to walk past him. but she responds with a face of disgust and keeps walking. WOMAN Yes? LARRY What was that? WOMAN What was what? LARRY I shot you a smile as a nice gesture and you put your head down. Larry becomes upset. Larry can’t believe it. not as attractive.

Larry puts his hands up and shakes his head defeated. Another woman walks past Larry. I’m not strange! I’m not creepy! He slows down. so does Larry. How can I be the creepy one when you won’t even smile at anyone on the street? In society it’s frowned upon not to return a smile. You look creepy smiling at people down the street. LARRY(CONT’D) Hey! Hey you hear me!? She starts to run. looking at him with disgust. and leans on his knees to try to catch his breath. You know it would be nice if you would smile back! It’s human etiquette. The woman starts to walk away from Larry. it was creepy. LARRY You’re going to walk away from me!? Smile at people once in a while! Larry starts to follow her.CONTINUED: 4. Larry follows her pursuit. out of breath. . you know that? She starts to walk faster. but she gives him an evil stare while she holds on close to her purse and walks right past him. LARRY(CONT’D) I just don’t understand. LARRY I’m the creep?! You’re the one that won’t smile back! I thought a friendly smile would be nice! But no! I’m the strange one for giving you a smile! It’s a friendly gesture. Larry tries to smile at her. WOMAN No. LARRY(CONT’D) Don’t be rude. WOMAN Whatever.

LARRY I am a guest in your house you wouldn’t make the guest clean dishes now would you? JEFF You son of a bitch. I specifically made myself later than everyone else so I don’t have to schmooze. JEFF Don’t get your hopes up Larry. JEFF AND SUSIE’S HOUSE. (CONTINUED) . INT. Jeff comes up to Larry. LARRY Honey! I’m home! Everyone greets Larry’s entrance.NIGHT Larry closes the door behind him. LARRY Perfect. LARRY I missed all the schmoozing time? SUSIE Yep. we’re about to start the appetizers. He walks straight inside. EXT. LARRY Yes Jeff. I believe I am. JEFF I need you to schmooze Larry.5. SUSIE Hey Lar. you’re not off the hook.NIGHT Larry shows up to the door empty handed to Jeff and Susie’s house. JEFF AND SUSIE’S HOME. Just in time.

SUSIE What the fuck Larry? LARRY What? If I don’t want to schmooze I shouldn’t have to. JEFF What Larry? Susie walks over.CONTINUED: LARRY Would you? JEFF (Hesitantly) No. I got a potential client here tonight. you treat him like fucking shit. Is this how you treat your fucking friend? LARRY Well is this how an agent treats his star client? Having him do all his dirty work? Using him?! 6. you know that? You’re supposed to be his friend Larry. Jeff leans closer to Larry’s ear. SUSIE What’s wrong Jeff? JEFF Larry won’t schmooze for me. LARRY Then you can’t ask me to schmooze. LARRY No. (CONTINUED) . SUSIE After everything Jeff has done for you. He is going to be a star! Unbelievable guy. I just need you to seal the deal for me though. JEFF(CONT’D) (Whispers) Listen. I need you Larry.

I see how it is. JEFF Alright Larry. MIKE Eh. I guess I need to cancel our lunch date tomorrow at the Mexican restaurant. I think Chipotle has the best burrito anywhere. It’s El Meson and trust me. He looks at Jeff who is pleading with Larry to talk to this man with his eyes. you would be upset with yourself. Jeff smiles.CONTINUED: 7. I told Jorge I would bring him business. LARRY (Against his will) This Mexican restaurant called El Meson has the best burrito I have EVER had. LARRY How could you possibly compare authenticity to a fast food place? That’s absurd. MIKE Upset with what? Larry looks over his shoulder at a man he doesn’t know. Susie clinks a glass on the table. Susie walks away in disgust. I don’t know about that. you know that? Unbelievable. SUSIE You’re fucking unbelievable Larry. Larry gives in and rolls his eyes. LARRY I am aware. (CONTINUED) . MIKE Something about Chipotle just does it for me. LARRY Hey! It’s not just a Mexican restaurant.

If I want Mexican food. LARRY Eh. JEFF I don’t even know how we are still friends. you’re going to tell me that you don’t like something at Chipotle? LARRY I’ve actually never been. while the rest of the table starts to murmur in outrage. Chipotle is unbelievable! (CONTINUED) . It’s not the same. SUSIE What’s up Mike? MIKE Larry has never been to Chipotle! Jeff shakes his head in disgust at Larry. SUSIE You’ve got to be kidding me Larry? LARRY I don’t want Chipotle. SUSIE Dinner is served. MIKE What!? Everyone looks at Mike. MIKE Chipotle is just the best you know? Everything about it is just so fresh and delicious.CONTINUED: 8. They know how to do it best. it’s just not authentic. Larry and Jeff start to move towards the table to take a seat. I go to the Mexicans. take your seats! Mike. not American’s pretending to be Mexican. MIKE Come on.

SUSIE Yeah Jeff. Everyone tells Larry he has to go by yelling at him. Everyone starts to eat the food at the table. your taste buds will thank me for this. Everyone laughs. we can all tell you love your Chipotle! JEFF This isn’t about me Susie. LARRY(CONT’D) I’m happy you’re all in love with your American trash food. I’m loyal to my place. Larry looks down in Susie’s vicinity and smiles at her. LARRY Alright fine. Larry shakes his head debating this situation. MIKE(CONT’D) Here. Mike goes into his wallet and pulls out a free burrito card. He takes the free Chipotle card from Mike and puts it into his wallet. LARRY I can’t.CONTINUED: 9. You have to try their queso sauce in a burrito with guacamole. c’mon now. it’s on me. (CONTINUED) . She looks at Larry disgusted. MIKE Larry. MIKE You gotta go Larry. It would be a catastrophe for me to switch over now. You won’t be wasting any money you can throw the burrito out if you truly don’t want it. but I think I’m gonna stick to my place. it’s about the Chipotle hater.

You guys are frenemies. Larry takes a bite of his food and looks up at everyone stuffing their faces with food. The only other person not eating is a woman next to Mike. LARRY Frenemies? Is that what we are now? Look at me. JEFF (To Larry) Yeah. (CONTINUED) ." LARRY Is that so? JEFF Yes. Can you find that word in the dictionary? Would it have a picture of me and Susie in there? JEFF It probably would. you never smile at Susie. "Larry and Susie never are on the same page even when it comes to smiling.CONTINUED: 10. LARRY Yeah you’re probably right. Everyone laughs at the table and keeps eating. You look fucking ridiculous. frenemies. your picture would probably also be shown under the words ignorant and smart-ass. thinking we were just friends but no. She smiles at Larry. There would be a sentence underneath the picture saying. SUSIE What the fuck are you smiling at Larry? LARRY What? I can’t just smile at you? You’re the hostess I can’t smile at you? Is that so crazy? SUSIE It is Larry.

LARRY And I’m not spontaneous? LEON Look at you Larry! Every mother fucking morning reading that paper. Larry is a little confused but happy about the situation. He gets back to eating his food. LARRY You? You’re spontaneous? LEON Motha fucking right I am Larry. Larry can’t believe she is smiling at him. when Leon comes into the room. She blushes a little bit. to make sure she is smiling at him. LARRY You have a routine? LEON Hell mother fucking no Larry! I’m spontaneous. non-verbally. what’s going on with you? LARRY Same routine. She nods at him and he smiles back contently. LEON Good Larry. important to keep the same routine. LARRY Hey! What’s going on Leon? LEON Not too much Larry. Makes life consistent. He points at himself and.DAY Larry is reading a newspaper. motions to her. LARRY’S HOME.CONTINUED: 11. You better watch yourself. (CONTINUED) . INT.

. LEON I don’t wanna listen Larry. is that not a routine? LEON Not every morning Larry. LARRY Every mother fucking morning you come in here. I don’t get why I never get the invite over to those motha fucking dinner parties. tell me is it cause I’m black? LARRY No Leon. LARRY(CONT’D) Oh so listen to this. LARRY What? Why? LEON Honestly. you’re just not friends with them. Larry gets back to reading his newspaper. LEON Why is that? LARRY Cause we’re not so different you and I. not every morning.CONTINUED: 12. they think I’m gonna steal some shit or something? Larry. What. (CONTINUED) . LEON Cause I’m black Larry. LARRY Alright well. LARRY I can’t believe that you’re pulling the race card right now in my own home. Last night I was at Jeff’s for a dinner party.

So listen to this. Our cards kind of cancel out don’t you think? You can finish the same sentence with either Jew or black watch. LARRY Two pretty. I think it may be Jeff’s new clients wife though. how so? LARRY You know. LARRY We were both slaves. pretty big things. LEON You smiled back? LARRY Of course I did. last night at the dinner party this woman was smiling at me across the table. You know the other day I tried smiling at women on the (MORE) (CONTINUED) . LEON Yeah. LEON Psh Larry. Is it because I’m Jewish!? Now for you it’s the same idea but just word it a little differently. the Jews and the Blacks have a lot in common. we got shit in common. LEON Alright two things in common. I mean I have never seen her there before so they must be a package. LEON She smiled at you? LARRY Yes I’m sure.CONTINUED: 13. right? We both are hated and blamed for the worlds problems. Psh is it cause I’m black! See not so different. LARRY Thank you. pretty. LEON You make a valid point Larry.

I don’t know what to do. LARRY (cont’d) street and they looked at me like. I would make sure I got my wallet and knife in hand cause that shit is scary. LEON Alright come here. The two of them walk in front of the mirror and look at themselves for a moment. LEON(CONT’D) Now the important thing you gotta do is you gotta act cool. You’re motha fucking Larry David and (MORE) (CONTINUED) . Show me. LEON Let me see you smile Larry. Larry smiles at Leon and Leon is taken back by it wide-eyed. I was crazy. LEON(CONT’D) Is that how you mother fucking smile Larry? LARRY Yeah so? LEON Whoa! You need some work son. LARRY What? What’s wrong with my smile? I’ve been told I have nice teeth. LEON Good teeth don’t mean you don’t smile like a stalker Larry.CONTINUED: 14. If I saw you smiling at me down the street. LARRY Well. LARRY A stalker!? LEON Hell mother fucking yes Larry. The dentist tells me how I’m his best client. I make it easy on him.

down the streets. LEON There we go Larry. get in the mind set. Squint your eyes and make a small kissing face and transition that into a smile. people be smiling back at you. Leon makes the face and he looks smooth doing so. LEON There we go Larry. LEON You like Chipotle? LARRY I’m forced to go. Look at you fly as fuck. Yeah I want to go test it out. Larry starts making the face. LARRY Yeah! Yeah I am mother fucking Larry David. Lar. LARRY Let me try. (CONTINUED) . You are officially Leon approved. LARRY Yeah. you officially got swag. You walk around. anywhere. How about you come with me to Chipotle and on the way home we smile at people and anyone who smiles back we invite to a dinner party here. I feel bad I was supposed to take Jeff to my Mexican restaurant but I have to go here. LEON Yeah Larry you got it now. I do? I do. LEON(CONT’D) (cont’d) bitches best be happy to get a smile from you. Larry is in agreement with Leon. Yeah.CONTINUED: 15. Like this. yeah! LARRY Yeah! I’m Larry David. much better.

Larry looks confused. I wonder if he persuaded Jeff to take him on. But I have to go. he gave me a free burrito card. this guy. You got bullied and appetite guilted into going. he is an unsolicited writer. LEON Sounds like you got appetite bullied.CONTINUED: 16. . LEON This guy sounds like trouble Larry. well at least for Jeff I have to go. LARRY (shocked) He appetite guilted me! Cheap man. LEON(CONT’D) You don’t want to eat somewhere but someone forces you to go. Motha fucka be bullying you Larry. Alright. LARRY Appetite bullied? LEON C’mon Larry. Leon laughs. LARRY Yeah you’re right! I did get bullied. even against your will. LARRY(CONT’D) What’s so funny? LEON You got a double whammy Larry. LARRY Yeah he does. And get this. This mother fucking dude got you good.

CHIPOTLE. He listens.17. I ain’t a Chipotle guy Larry. He walks up to the register and the people online tell him to go to the back. well watch the car. INT.DAY There is a long line at the counter for Chipotle. Larry turns off the car and starts to get out. LARRY Alright. now that mother fucker is for us blacks. but Leon doesn’t. Where do you see Chipotles Larry? LARRY Where? LEON White suburban areas in mother fucking shopping malls in between J Crew and the Gap. Larry gets out of the car and walks into Chipotle. LARRY Why? LEON I go to Qdoba. Larry. They stack the burrito with twice as much meat. people are yelling orders and everything is moving really fast. Twice as much. Qdoba. LARRY What’s the matter? LEON No way am I going in there. LARRY Really? There’s a difference? LEON Hell yeah Larry. EXT. they no how to sell us. baby. (CONTINUED) . Larry looks around and is very confused. CHIPOTLE Larry and Leon pull up in Larry’s Hybrid in front of Chipotle.

CHIPOTLE WORKER All rice is the same. how are you doing? CHIPOTLE WORKER Good. LARRY I’ll have the white then. She starts to put white rice on the burrito. CHIPOTLE WORKER Yes? LARRY Hi. Larry is waiting on a long line looking around at the people ordering. The worker impatiently stares at him in his own little world. Larry gets up to the counter and doesn’t know where to begin. (CONTINUED) . Which is better? CHIPOTLE WORKER Have you ever had rice before? LARRY Yes.CONTINUED: 18. what do you want? LARRY I think I’ll have a burrito. CHIPOTLE WORKER Brown or white? LARRY Excuse me? CHIPOTLE WORKER What type of rice? LARRY Oh I didn’t know you were talking about rice. They seem to have a knack for how it works and everyone gets their burrito in an orderly fashion. It’s rice.

you know? Larry taps his stomach twice. The worker does not seem enthused by Larry. LARRY(CONT’D) Eh.CONTINUED: 19. LARRY I’m allowed to take as much time as I want. LARRY(CONT’D) I’m sorry sir. Now. am I bothering you? MAN Yeah you’re taking an hour to make a burrito. the medium or the hot sauce? (CONTINUED) . Larry turns back to the Chipotle Worker. LARRY(CONT’D) Which do you prefer. CHIPOTLE WORKER What else? LARRY What do you think I should put on? CHIPOTLE WORKER (Upset) What do you like sir? LARRY I don’t know. just tell her what you want and she does it. LARRY Well I’m not sure what I want for a burrito yet. A man behind Larry makes a hissing noise that gets Larry’s attention. Actually I probably shouldn’t you know? Brown is healthier. I like everything. I got to watch my figure. It is supposed to be fast. is that ok that I take my time? MAN It’s the same every time.

You can’t judge me. LARRY(CONT’D) Happy? MAN Very.CONTINUED: 20. you’ve never had Chipotle? Well that explains a lot about you. CHIPOTLE WORKER (upset) What else do you want sir? LARRY Chicken and just guac. Larry turns back to the man. even though that one makes me doubt everything else she’s ever told me. (CONTINUED) . MAN You have got to be kidding me. CHIPOTLE WORKER (Disgusted) You’ve never had Chipotle? LARRY What is that supposed to mean? I don’t like to go to chain Mexican places. LARRY I’m sorry am I not allowed to ask a question? MAN Go ahead. MAN Wait. I’ve never had Chipotle before! The man laughs. you’re supposed to help me. My mother told me there is no such thing as a stupid questions. LARRY Oh so now you bring your mother into it. Larry turns to the man online.I’m sorry. I think that will be alright.

You can’t charge me based on the individual product. LARRY What? No I gave you the free burrito card. Larry gives him a dirty look and walks down to the register. LARRY That’s crazy.CONTINUED: 21. which would be free? She nods. LARRY What? CASHIER Well the burrito is free but the guac is extra. It’s a free burrito. It doesn’t matter what is the content of the burrito. LARRY(CONT’D) But once I add guacamole to the burrito it makes it more expensive? (CONTINUED) . He pulls out the free burrito card. LARRY So let me get this straight. I could have gotten everything on the line and had the biggest burrito man has ever created. CASHIER I’m sorry sir but even though you have the card I still have to charge you for the guacamole. CASHIER That would be a $1. LARRY This better be the best burrito.50. The card I gave you was for a free burrito. Larry hands the burrito card to the cashier. CASHIER The guacamole is extra though.

MIKE Larry? LARRY Mike. LARRY That’s insane. "give him a free burrito".. Larry pulls the free burrito card out of her hand and starts to read it. It literally screams "free burrito. MIKE So what’s the problem Larry? LARRY Well. MIKE What? LARRY You appetite bullied me to come here to try and gain my business. Out comes the manager who is Mike. She leaves the counter frantically and heads to the kitchen.CONTINUED: CASHIER Yes sir. Larry looks up and sees that it is Mike. Let me see it! 22. what may be the problem? LARRY Well. this is good for one free burrito". I could have gotten anything in the burrito because it is a free one but you decide to charge me. the main problem was that I was getting charged for the guacamole even though I had the free burrito card. It doesn’t have anything on it that says what items I can chose to put in my burrito. But now I see what’s happening here. even though I have this card that says. I have a voucher for a free burrito. MIKE Hi sir. (CONTINUED) .

INT. I work here because I have a passion for it as you can see. That is all. LARRY Is it? I didn’t want to come here but you kept building it. I’ll explain on the way. A little to late. MIKE C’mon Larry that is crazy. Mike puts his head down in shame.CONTINUED: 23. LARRY’S CAR Larry gets into his car and buckles himself into his seat. LEON Where’s your food Lar? LARRY You wouldn’t believe it!. LARRY A little too late Mike. I just wanted you to try Chipotle. You lost my business. C’mon were going to El Meson. LARRY I don’t think so Mike. MIKE Listen Larry. . Larry leaves the burrito and walks out the door. I can’t believe it. I think you had a different reason for me to come. I just thought you would enjoy it. Chipotle this and Chipotle that! "Oh you got to come to Chipotle" you said. You even bribed me and the bribe didn’t even pay off. MIKE Larry. I’m out of here. that’s it. I’m sorry.

LEON Come estas? JORGE Muy Bien y tu? LEON Asi Asi. LEON I told you Larry. (CONTINUED) . EXT. and she embarrassingly smiles back. Jorge comes over to Larry. She was embarrassed to smile back that just amazes me. Larry and Leon walk inside. LARRY Hola Jorge. They are about to walk inside when a girl walks by the door. It’s so simple to smile back at someone. Every girl knows they be smiling at me. LARRY Really unbelievable.24. JORGE Hola. Leon shoots her a smile. EL MESON. INT. I got the swag and they want part of it. LARRY You were right.DAY Leon and Larry are about to walk in the the door. EL MESON.DAY LARRY That’s unbelievable. LEON I told you that mother fucker was shady. To think that she got so fluttered by your smile. he had a hidden agenda.

it’s the swag. Both Larry and Leon shake their heads. LARRY You know. LARRY You seize to amaze me. Jorge goes to the kitchen and Larry looks at Leon in amazement. They take a seat at a table. I told Jeff to come meet us here. Jorge comes out with two burritos for the two of them. LARRY I know my Mexican. LEON Where is he? Larry makes a gesture. right? LEON Larry that was some good mother fucking Mexican food. I’m black of course I know Spanish. LARRY No idea. leaning back into their chairs. LEON It’s the swag Larry.CONTINUED: 25. You LARRY know Spanish? LEON Larry. LARRY I told you. (CONTINUED) . JORGE Muy bien. They start to eat. Time passes and the two are done eating and look satisfied.

(CONTINUED) . of course. Yes of course Larry. Larry turns to Leon. LARRY Fantastico! Anyone can order anything of the menu. Leon nudges Larry. The two of them look at each other and grin. JORGE For you Larry. LEON(CONT’D) Let’s have the dinner party here. Thank you Jorge. Bring more business for Jorge. We would love it. is that ok? JORGE Si. No problemo. At the same time they both call Jorge over.CONTINUED: LEON Muy bien. LARRY And the guacamole situation? I’d like to keep an endless supply of guacamole at no extra charge is that alright Jorge? JORGE Of course! No other way Larry. LEON I know Larry. Muy bien. LARRY You see this is the treatment you’re supposed to get at Mexican restaurants. JORGE Si? LARRY My friend Leon and I are absolutely in love with your food and this great place. to host a dinner party here. LARRY That’s a great idea. of course if it was alright with you. 26.

LARRY Yes. LEON Adios amigos. Leon is in mid-conversation with some lady as Larry awkwardly stands behind him. You happy? LARRY You know what I am? LEON What’s that Larry? LARRY I’m ready to get on my swag smile.CONTINUED: 27. LEON So it’s just down this way and I’m telling you. Larry puts money on the table for the meal and they get up to leave. no such thing as a swag smile.DAY Larry and Leon walk around. LARRY(CONT’D) See you in a few Jorge. the guacamole is going to rock your world girl. EXT. EXT. Did I pronounce that right? Swag smile? LEON Nah. yes I am. You ready to get your swag on and in order to do so you’re going to mother fucking smile at hoes on the street. EL MESON. Just swag. JORGE Adios.DAY Larry turns to Leon. LARRY You happy? LEON Hell yeah. STREET. (CONTINUED) .

LARRY That was amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. that’s her. Leon shakes his head and takes a long deep breath. LEON Who? LARRY The woman that smiled at me at Jeff’s dinner party. (CONTINUED) . LARRY Oh my God. I hope you’re over exaggerating how good it is. shaking his head in disbelief. As the girl starts to walk away. on. come Larry. Larry looks down the street and notices it’s the women that was sitting next to Mike. LARRY That was unbelievable. Leon and Larry check out her butt. Larry is standing behind Leon eyes wide open repeating the line he just heard to himself. GIRL I’ll definitely be there then. and by the way.Check it fine dime Larry. just beast. LEON I have.CONTINUED: GIRL And if it doesn’t? LEON Then I guess I’ll be doing the rocking. Larry smacks him on the shoulder. 28. LEON It’s in all of us unleash the inner out. here comes a test it out. because I’d rather end up with the second option.

Larry falls into a gaze into Leon’s eyes. Be calm. Leon gets in his face as if coaching Larry. she is a little interested she smiled first. wide mouthed. LEON Alright Larry. Leon gives him a nod of approval. agreeing with him. LARRY I was going to say. Leon slaps Larry. LEON She smiled first Larry. MYSTERY WOMAN Larry? Larry David? Still staring into Larry’s eyes. You know cause show her ask her LARRY But what if she is Mike’s wife. She smiles at him and starts to play with her hair. she smiled first.CONTINUED: 29. you’re the fucking man and to the dinner party. Larry pushes Leon out of the way. (CONTINUED) . LEON(CONT’D) This is your chance Larry. LARRY Hey baby girl how you doing? MYSTERY WOMAN Excuse me? Larry looks at Leon frantically. Larry looks back at Leon and Leon nods at him in approval. look at me.. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name the other night. MYSTERY WOMAN No need to apologize. LARRY I’m sorry I.

MYSTERY WOMEN I’m Michelle. and of course I know you. Michelle laughs. (CONTINUED) . El Meson a few blocks over. who doesn’t know Larry David? Larry looks back over in Leon’s direction and Leon keeps nodding. he does. They wanted me to come by to see what it looks like and take my opinion. LARRY Oh really? So you were alone? MICHELLE Yeah it was a little strange but I really couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. After everything Larry says he keeps looking towards Leon to get his nod of approval. you want to come? MICHELLE I’d love to. LARRY(CONT’D) So what were you doing at Jeff’s dinner the other night? I didn’t see. You were the center of attention.CONTINUED: 30. LARRY Of course. Larry looks at Leon who non-verbally tells him to keep his eyes on the prize. LARRY If I had a nickel for every time I got that. LARRY(CONT’D) Listen I’m having a dinner party at this Mexican restaurant. did you come with anyone? MICHELLE I’m their house decorator.

LEON You almost blew it at the end but for first time swag. She looks Larry up and down. I won’t. Wait for it.CONTINUED: 31. She starts to walk away. MICHELLE Oh don’t worry. LEON(CONT’D) (whispers without moving lips) Smile back and nod. LEON Wait for it. That was amazing. The two of them walk down the street. Larry smiles and turns to Leon. LARRY I can’t believe that. . Not bad. Larry obeys. LARRY What? LEON Do it! Larry listens to him. We good. Michelle looks back at Larry and smiles at him. but Leon keeps looking straight ahead. LARRY Great! Pick you up at 8 and don’t forget your appetite. not bad Larry. Michelle keeps walking. LEON Larry. LEON(CONT’D) Alright we good now. look straight ahead and lose the mother fucking smile.

MICHELLE Hi Larry. I shouldn’t invite them. alright Larry alright. The girl is playfully laughing and Leon is talking about himself.32. LEON Yo Larry. LEON You can’t contain the swag Larry. it’s a curse. They don’t invite me. Leon sits up and starts to button his shirt back together. INT. is Jeff and everyone meeting us there? LARRY Yeah they said they were coming. LARRY Hey Michelle. you ready? MICHELLE Yep. LEON Man we shouldn’t have invited them Larry.NIGHT In the back seat of the car Leon and his girl are fooling around while Larry is driving. They start to drive away. The two of them get back to making out. Michelle comes out of the house and into the car. 5 minutes! LEON Psh. LARRY’S CAR. LARRY Come on. The girl sits back up and straightens out her hair. They pull up to a house and Larry honks his horn. LARRY Knock it off back there! I’ll kick you out. (CONTINUED) .

EXT. LEON(CONT’D) Baby! Baby! MICHELLE I thought you were having a dinner party at a restaurant. LEON It wasn’t a mother fucking Chipotle the other day! Leon starts to go after her.. MIKE May I help you? (CONTINUED) . They get to where El Meson is supposed to be and Larry becomes confused when he sees a Chipotle has been put in its place. don’t get me wrong I love Chipotle. and start walking. LEON Psh. LARRY What what’s this? GIRL (To Leon) You brought me to a Chipotle?! Ugh! She starts to walk away.. looking at Larry. LARRY Well when you pay. Mike walks out of the Chipotle arms crossed. STREET NIGHT-NIGHT They find a parking spot on the street. LARRY I was! I did! I had everything planned El Meson! I don’t know what.CONTINUED: 33. get out of the car. you get to decide who to invite. but.

She walks inside when Larry and Leon try to follow suit. LARRY You’re really going to leave me like that? MICHELLE Sorry Larry. She does. this is why I don’t go to Chipotle. no no you’re mad about the guacamole incident and that I didn’t pay! It’s because I’m a Jew isn’t it! (CONTINUED) . Leon runs back over to Larry. without the girl. Mike opens up the door showing Jorge working behind the counter in a Chipotle outfit. MICHELLE You have a really great smile. LARRY You’re going to pay for this. see. look. Mike smiles again at her and raises his eyebrows for her to come inside. LEON Oh. MIKE I know. Mike smiles. LARRY You?! What did you do to Jorge and El Meson!? MIKE I did nothing. Mike stops them from coming in. watching Michelle leave. you know? MIKE Eh. I really do love Chipotle. it’s because I’m black isn’t it!? LARRY No.CONTINUED: 34.

then at homeless man. and I can’t do business with an agent who works with losers. JEFF See I knew you would like Chipotle! SUSIE Great choice for dinner Lar. I told you it’s phenomenal. and both smile at him akwardly at the same time. A homeless man is sitting on the ground next to the entrance who Larry and Leon both notice for the first time. They both walk into Chipotle together. THE END . Larry and Leon look at each other. MIKE It’s because you’re a loser. Sorry Larry. Jeff and Susie walk over. Mike closes the door. He looks shocked at the whole scenario that just played out. Larry and Leon look at each other.CONTINUED: 35.