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A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument. 3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. 4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne. 5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills. 6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan. 7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. 8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook. 9. My monk's lips must be in sync. 10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can. 11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerad es. 12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer. 13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are. 14. Ogres are not kosher. 15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A. 16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory. 17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero. 18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first. 19. Drow are not good eating. 20. Polka is not appropriate marching music. 21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre. 22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino. 23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away. 24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales. 25. The green elf does not need food badly. 26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the pal adin. 27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000. 28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip. 29. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back. 30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminal ly stupid. 31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time. 32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over. 33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking' 34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci. 35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units. 36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table. 37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents. 38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mans ion from the outside. 39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows' 40. Gnomes do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes. 41. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand' 42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check. 43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat. 44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills. 45. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres. 46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so. 47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes. 48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure. 49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his s hot. 50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instea d of exploring it first. 51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.
52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas. 53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton. 54. Cannot pimp out other party members. 55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf. 56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint. 57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking. 58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense. 59. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a r un. 60. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent deities. 61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him. 62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once. 63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please. 64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God" 65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell. 66. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks. 67. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers" 68. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs. 69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage au tomatic with no save. 70. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5. 71. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phasor 72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an el f or dwarf. Humans are right out. 73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick. 74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live" 75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps" 76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating. 77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk. 78. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan. 79. I am not liquid metal. 80. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to fi nd a pistol. 81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon. 82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste. 83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie. 84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow. 85. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying an industrial strength flamethrower. 86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot. 87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana. 88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anyt hing under her tabard. 89. The elf's name is not Legolam. 90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay 91. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon. 92. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond" 93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar fo r a mount again. 94. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons or Bluto Blu tarski. 95. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again. 96. No making up polearms. 97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true' 98. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.
99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber. 100. When any character from a d20 sourcebook is allowed, that doesn't include S ystem Lords. 101. I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING. 102. I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer' s dime. 103. There is no such thing as a Club 3 of Cup Checks 104. Nor is there a 1 Longsword, 5 against party members. 105. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda. 106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat. 107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet. 108. No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer. 109. Not allowed to kill a vampire with any part from a DC-10 larger than my car . 110. Not allowed to serenade the party even if my character has an internal tape deck. 111. I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother. 112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane. 113. My Droid is not allowed to paraphrase any Jack Nicholson soliloquy. 114. The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once. 115. My musical instrument does not double as a personal flotation device. 116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown. 117. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day. 118. I will pick a more traditional paladin weapon instead of a sledgehammer. 119. My character's names cannot be anagrams of playboy playmates. 120. Not allowed to kill another party member with a boomerang again. 121. I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc. 122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal. 123. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point. 124. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instruct ions. 125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day. 126. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals. 127. Not allowed to download AOL 6.0 on the Arasaka mainframe. 128. Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind. 129. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism. 130. I am not authorized to form the head. 131. Not allowed to bet how many times the lich bounces. 132. There is no such feat called "Death Blossom" 133. My acrobat cannot balance on the warlord's head for more than one round. 134. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt" 135. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap. 136. I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills. 137. I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy. 138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it. 139. My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just pl ay by ear' 140. The Dutch language does not exist in the Forgotten Realms. 141. My maid does not know kung fu. 142. Not allowed to give a 4 year old a sugar rush just to jack up the CR later. 143. Not allowed to by a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is r ight. 144. There is no such thing as pleather armor. 145. I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents . 146. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600. 147. Hobbits are not allowed to have Norse ancestry. 148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve t
ongs. 149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory. 150. Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format. 151. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower. 152. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him. 153. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my ch arisma check. 154. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck. 155. I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason. 156. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option. 157. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'. 158. I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells. 159. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals. 160. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds. 161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick p layed by that creepy guy. 162. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner. 163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds. 164. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice. 165. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if the y notice. 166. Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elv is LP collection. 167. I was not recruited by Star League for any reason. 168. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon. 169. I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility. 170. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof. 171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur" 172. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check. 173. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep. 174. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a human ity check. 175. I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the New s. 176. I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans. 177. Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right. 178. There are no profanities in Celestial. 179. Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty. 180. I have neither the touch nor the power. 181. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos. 182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into t he adventure. 183. There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement. 184. A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope. 185. My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl. 186. No cutting line to be a god. 187. I cannot gain more than three drama die per session for making the GM pee. 188. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf. 189. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation. 190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden. 191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for St ar Wars characters. 192. If the gun is best fired using the artillery skill, my character is not all owed to have it. 193. Not allowed to kill vampires with seismic charges. 194. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not le ave me pistols. 195. I cannot use a silent feat enabled power word stun and blame it on the dog.
196. I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another cou ntry. 197. My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his count ry just to stay sharp. 198. Not allowed to steal my own soul. 199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish' 200. I cannot name my character cliche canon characters from other systems. 201. My thief is prohibited from speaking solely in Cant. 202. Character descriptions cannot contain two of the following words: Slavic, T onedeaf, Karaoke, Musician. 203. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious. 204. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself. 205. My 3rd ed. Red Wizard is not allowed to start a business named Thay Co. 206. I cannot forge a 1 sword of Brad's Min/Maxed Paladin/Monk Slaying. 207. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve G as, Landmine, Midget. 208. I cannot whine about the crappy selection of magical bec de corbins. 209. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face. 210. My Antipaladin's heraldry is not Mr. Yuk. 211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Sava ge, he dies. 212. If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel. 213. I am not the patron saint of common sense. 214. There is no prestige class Drizzt Slayer. 215. They do not make heavy weapons in pump action. 216. There is an upper limit to the number of Bozo boostergangers I can get in a Volkswagon. 217. If the weapon is capable of staking vampires hiding behind engine blocks, I can't have it. 218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation. 219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as j ust "The Other Guys". 220. I am not the master of the low blow or the gang up. 221. If I get that Yugo up to 120mph again, that's gonna get some paradox. 222. Druids are not against my religion. 223. I cannot convince the Solo he has a cortex bomb when he really doesn't. 224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear abou t a half gnome do you? 225. I am forbidden from monologuing. 226. Troll bubblegum...bad idea. 227. My last wish cannot be "I wish we were playing another game." 228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2. 229. Not allowed to spontaneously check if the elf can take a punch. 230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss. 231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry. 232. It is not possible to recreate any scene from Dr. Who in Crinos. 233. If I am the medtech it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in med icine. 234. My character does not get d34 HP a level. 235. My Samedi is required to have dots in obfuscate. Plural, as in more than on e, two more than none. 236. My character has no need for 24,000 cartons of cigarettes, especially in hi s neighbor's garage. 237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up th e definition. 238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica. 239. My rockerboy cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or g
Not allowed to attempt to kill the Hutt by pouring salt on him. 276. I cannot derail the adventure for a two hour in character discussion on the qualities of rope. My Highlander's name cannot be McHammer. 266. I cannot create a superhero that can palm the moon. 280. I am to assume he intends for me to k eep it a forest. Atheism. Gnomes do not have a racial bonus in bobsled. I cannot keep selling that creepy guy's always naked elf chick to nomads ev ery chance I get. I must remember at dinner time Log is not an elven delicacy. 243. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoe d. I cannot crank call C-SWAT on the target's phone . Cannot use the jedi mind trick to get out of a speeding ticket. 278. 261. The Barbarian's name does not translate into "Screams like little sissy gir l" in my language. . 262. 260. 264. Welch is not allowed to speak in 3rd person. 251. 270. 256. If the king rewards me with a forest. 254. 269. 273. I cannot base any elf off of any British Prime Minister. I cannot use the time machine to go to Ancient Greece where all the women w ere leather clad. 281. 245. 244. Keggers 257. I cannot yell "FREEBIRD" every time the bard makes a perform roll. the candy aisle of Krogers. 274. 247. I cannot bill the tar get for overtime. 265. he still can't take the tax accountant skill. I cannot commune with the Gods during peak hours. Thermonuclear hand grenades do not exist in any genre except Paranoia. I cannot blow 5 paradox in: A police line up. 277. I cannot wish nobody else gets wishes. 258. Tracheotomies are best left to characters with skills in medicine.lass armonica. I must remember at dinner time Rock is not a dwarven delicacy. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out. I cannot get emotionally attached to any generic nondescript unnamed NPC. There is no Halfling god of groin shots. 253. Not allowed to attend any opera whose name the GM confuses with a strip joi nt. 268. 242. When the GM forces the plot. My character cannot hear the soundtrack. 252. If the other party members forget to take any food prep skills. There is no such thing as Skyclad Armor 5 259. 272. The following cleric domains do not exist: Wet T-Shirts. 249. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hur ry the hell up. t he Miss America Pageant. 263. 267. 248. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any. 255. oiled down with big bosoms. No matter how smart I make my animal companion. 271. At the end of a black-ops. 240. I cannot make choo-choo noises. Not allowed to give quicklings Mountain Dew. If a black op requires me to impersonate an employee. My half-ogre cannot surprise the halflings with spontaneous games of dodgeb all. It assumed my mechwarrior knows at least what one of the buttons in his coc kpit does. Anything the DM has to ponder the full impact of for more than a minute is forbidden. I am not the Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Gundam Wing Z. not allowed to let them starve to death. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept. 250. 241. Mr. 246. No skill allows specializing in defenestration. 275. 279.
When asked for advice before a fight "Don't wet yourself in public" is not what they were looking for. Even if the rules allow it. A gimp suit does not count as leather armor. I cannot form a huddle to discuss strategy before facing the final monster in the dungeon. 286. My character does not have the flaw Addiction: Helium. 293. likewise. 283. 318. Anything my character does that ends up as errata I am retroactively prohib ited from doing. I can't help others make a decision. 320. tea set s and bear traps. 312.282. 289. I have been assured with total certainty Ralph is not a Japanese name. 287. Even if laughter is the best medicine. I cannot start the game with a highly contagious deadly disease. 291. When the CO asks for volunteers. it still doesn't restore any of my H P. No character of mine can start with 400 previous convictions for any misdem eanor. 298. father. I am not the son. 319. 299. My life long nemesis is not allowed to be the unsuspecting cleric sitting a cross the table from me. My battlecry is not 'Now young Skywalker you will die'. Vampiric cows are not the fast food innovation of the future. 311. social or mental trait. I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep. I cannot give the rebel operatives the codenames Luke. I am not from Margaritaville. I cannot hand out artillery flares to the bad guys on New Years and tell th em they are roman candles. 300. 315. 302. Chaotic Evil dieties do not have hymnals. Clowns shoes have no place in a dungeon crawl. 288. 303. 294. My dwarf is not claustrophobic. 309. 305. 297. A Mao suit is not proper garb for my shugenja. 284. 307. 313. I cannot spend all my points on just followers. Not the Slap Happy Jappy. My bard knows more songs than just "I Saw Your Mommy" 323. 321. I cannot make called shots with a crew served weapon. When my enemy blinks does not give me an attack of opportunity. 301. My character is not allowed to commit suicide five minutes into the campaig n. I cannot cast invisibility on random household items like car keys. 314. former professor or retired garbageman of the villain.I'm Kilroy. 296. I cannot take all the monsters I've killed to the taxidermist after the adv enture. 317. My gnome cannot save point on the ride skill simply by asking for piggyback rides everywhere. I cannot start the game as pope. 308. My British Superspy does not get a reroll on his seduction check if his shi rt gets ripped off. 322. 310. Chewie or Yoda. that doesn't excuse the ha waiian shirt and lawn chair during the dress inspection. 295. Sprechen Sie Bang-Bang? is not real German. 285. and even if I was. 304. I cannot name my character after another PC already in this game. 306. 316. I cannot gradually describe my character more and more until it's obvious I 'm describing Burt Reynolds. I cannot figure that the dungeon we're in is the Pac-Man maze and point it out to the rest of the party. "Well Hung" is not a physical. 290. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path. The Sultan does not want a treasure bath. . exroommate. My character does not have the flaw: Dark Secret. my barbarian can't specialize in fe ncing weapons. my elf is not agoraphobic. husband. Han. 292. Under 'Religion' I cannot put 'Xenu'. Even if he can use them from the start.
half-dragon. tiefling an d aasimar have the same dad. I cannot keep my phaser on disintegrate just because it's the coolest setti ng. 364. I am to avoid killing. It is not feasible for my Archer to recreate Hudson's Last Stand. It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf. 362. 331. After the first adventure I cannot write a tell all book about the party. Even if the rules allow it. Not allowed to declare myself a free agent and take offer from other advent uring parties. Killing quicklings with marbles only works once. Any character named El Robotico Jiraffe de Fuego is begging to be vetoed. This issue is closed. 325. 327. Good Hitle r is not an appropriate superhero concept. 341. upstaging or seducing historical characters. 367. The rest of the party appreciates it if I don't start the game in Cyberpsyc hosis. Even if the rules allow it. I cannot control 20. Belgians are not a legal choice. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!" 356. I cannot fistinate anybody. 363. Power Word: Beer Me is not a real spell. 354. 353. 348. Female minotaurs do not have udders. I can't make the other guy's head explode. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension. I cannot make a character that gets double XP p er game for showing up. I cannot spend character points to buy imaginary friends. 333. 349. I don't have weapon proficiency in elf. My teleporter cannot stop the alien invasion with just the law of displacem ent. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild. 361. 368. 339. . No matter how well I roll. not 10 blocks with a Sharpe's Big . Not allowed to spoil the plot by simply removing the hinges on the door. 338. the Quack skill is not a substitute for the Doct or skill. 334. Cannot accumulate 200 points of flaws for Hackmaster. I am not allowed to buzz ANYTHING. 345. I can't do anything I saw in Tron once. can't install the Clapper as a built in feature. When challenged to a showdown. and a huge freakin' asteroid. Not allowed to setup the main villain with the mad scientist's sister. altar s and cutlery. 359. Cannot start a Cthuhlu character with a pre-existing hatred of books. Pinball is not a specialization for wizards. either. I cannot start the game married to another PC without their consent. 360. laws of motion. If I'm not the decker. I cannot pick a Destroid that makes the Veritech pilots feel inadequate. 329. I must remind the GM that my Blessed can Raise Dead before he runs another murder mystery again. I cannot invoke Consecrate Weapon on a Man of War 332. I am not allowed to decide which one of us is the Chosen One. 336. I cannot start the game pregnant. 350. I most certainly don't have weapon proficiency in a Phased-plasma rifle in the forty watt range. 337. 351. 335. 326. 365. Tricking the party into killing each other off and then turning in their co rpses for the bounty is frowned upon. 344.50. 346. No using excessive firepower to force the plot along. I must remember royalty do not share the same love of parody as my bard. whatever the hell that means. When installing cyberware.324. I cannot disassemble a car in under 5 minutes. I'm meant to face him at 10 paces with pisto ls. 358. 355. 343. No matter how much I make my IQ roll by. 357. 328.000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha. 366. 342. Can't avoid going on an epic quest with the excuse "Can't find a sitter" 340. When I choose my wizard's familar. 347. 330. I cannot take skill Profession: Ecdysiast 352.
Check the door means to listen at it. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again. I cannot have any weapon that requires me to crank start it first. When a virgin sacrifice is demanded I will not look knowingly at the paladi n. My character's background must be more indepth than a montage of Queen lyri cs. 381. If I can fit my head down the gun's barrel. 379. My samurai is not required to commit seppuku if he fails to hit the monster . I cannot use the ventriloquism skill to convice the fighter his new sword i s a magical talking one. I will refrain from using wildly inaccurate high explosive weapons in close quarters.369. 405. 371. The first rule of Finnegan school is not "Do not talk about Finnegan school " 407. All characters will use the bathroom before the dungeon crawl. I am forbidden to see whether halflings or gnomes bounce higher. Min/Max for combat=good. Especially since he's the bard. A. Start. 374. My rigger does not get a bonus if his log in code is up. that way I have no excuses. B. 388. 375. A. 402. 386. If the light spell expires. netrunner or Hermetic. 404. 389. not just make called shots to the knees. It is bad form for the queen to see my nipples. When I have to pick a starting dementia. 390. right. 396. left. 399. 397. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". 373. 376. the orize. right. My character is required to have a minimum wisdom of 10. I can't bet the power gamer he can't solo the module. I will not use MDC weapons to fis h. 378. not put several rounds through it. Killing the building does not add to my body count. Min/Max for accounting=bad. 384. 372. harpoons are not proper ninja weapons. up. 370. The titles "Viking" and "Obstretrician" are mutually exclusive. especially if I was stone sober at the last game break. 380. Cannot start the game blitzed. The following words are not legal for the command spell: Prognosticate. What happens in Sigil does not always stay in Sigil. notarize. No matter how many people I need to feed. 408. I cannot give magic items super easy commands words like 'is' or 'the' and activate when you say them. 394. 383. le ft. creative and fun uses for cursed items. It is not ok to use 10. 398. Not supposed to stop the soon to be cyberpsycho by disassembling him earlie r in the adventure. 395. down. 400. . I am to stop asking the elf to put a good word in for me with Santa. 392. Stockholm Syndrome is not appropri ate. 406. Pursue means chase after. I can't have that gun. I will not name my character for the power gaming campaign Generic Cleave P ath Fighter #7. 385. 391. no lighting the dwarf. 403. down. I can assume it doesn't have th e non-lethal option.000 rounds to kill two sentries. 377. B. If I have to sacrifice my fifth dot in resources to afford it. The barbarian must remember that 'human shield' is a figure of speech. 393. No subcontracting dungeon crawls. A starting paladin has no conceivable use for industrial lubricant. I will not blow all my starting funds on hookers and booze. 382. No thinking up new. No matter what popular media says. 401. I will not tell new players that 1st level characters do not have a scent a s a defense mechanism. 387.
416. Chainsaws and butter churns filled with bees do not use the same weapon ski ll. playing a foul mouthed chain smoking squirrel is no t a good choice. I am forbidden from trying to merge the best features of automatic weapons and manual transmissions. Never again will I convince a player to keep a character nicknamed "Stumpy McLunger" 435. 424.409. 415. I will not admonish my fellow paladin with 'a little less lawful. 419. I will not cast darkness at the magic missile. I cannot do anything I saw Jackie Chan do once. Spankings generally will not change evil alignments. "For the King" is an example of a good battle cry. Even if they d id it on the TV show. If the character isn't deaf. If my stats are STR10 DEX10 CON8 INT16 WIS17 CHA15 I'd better not be the ha lf-orc barbarian. I will not find a peaceful solution to the adventure just to piss off the p ower gamer. I will not convince the GM's noob GF to play a psychotic combat monster. 410. 411. No bribing the DM's new GF with chocolate so he'll go easy on us. I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm. From now on my Highlander will refrain from dancing the Can-Can. The chaotic neutral alignment is forever closed to me. 428. Thirty minutes after a massive battle against Cathayans I am not bloodthirs ty again. 441. his only language cannot be AMSLAN. 431. 429. 430. I cannot liven up the adventure with snappy musical numbers. Zombies are not infectious in D&D. I will not switch to an entirely new class every single time I level. There is an upper limit on the number of people a bullet will go through. Even if my cleric has the domains of Wealth and Healing doesn't give me the right to start an HMO. We will not implement any battle plan that includes the underlined words "A nd hope they miss a lot" 432. The ability to afflict everyone in 150' with herpes is not an acceptable su per power. 414. So I should stop shooting PCs in the hea d if they are bitten. 420. My marital status does not affect in anyway my fear checks. "Smoke the Mother" is no t. I can't kill him. 426. 436. The solution to all my problems is not Crinos. 447. my thief will not insist we take turns checking f or traps. 423. Whether it's fair or not. When told to be subtle. Even if I am in Home Depot at the moment. 418. 445. 413. Cannot put anything featuring Calvin on my starfighter. 439. 438. I cannot crit him 4 times in one round. Spray paint is not a substitute for proper camouflage. 427. 422. If the NPC is on the cover of the rulebook. I cannot play a duck. 434. I will not start the game as a toddler just to rack up massive stat bonuses as I age. Steel toe boots do not add to my AC. 437. If the NPC is critical to the plot later. 421. 412. Ninjas are not ablative. 440. I will never create a plan that first hinges on the invention of velcro. 442. 433. 443. 444. a little more good' 446. I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram. I will not attempt to unionize the brutes. My archmage will not join a party running Keep on the Borderlands as a ring er. 448. . 417. Even if the rules allow it. It is bad form to shoot a god while he's monologuing. 425. 449.
Quoting Bob Dobbs while charging into battle is unusual. I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character. I will not immediate ly point them to the halflings' room. When told to distract the villainess. 480. I will not leave paint bombs under all the bo ardroom's seat cushions. Even if it is hip to be square. 461. 475. If I have to pull out of the dungeon because I'm low on HP. that doesn't mean Jesus loves me twic e as much. No making up any strange hobbies just to get out of taking watch. I still can't play a Modron. 456. 472. I will not address Fauner Posen with 'Jawohl mein Liebenaffe' 481. Halfing mating rituals do not include beer can crushing. As a matter of fact. 493. 470. Styrofoam is not an appropriate component for golems. 457. 454. I cannot put my familiar up for stud. No how tough the encounter was. 482. rimshot or spit take. If the party wakes to find a chariot upside down in a fountain. 478. Sarcasm is wasted on Imperial Stormtroopers. There is no 'accidentally' slipping a Smite Evil into a pillow fight. 477. 453. Dwarven Battlegarb in no way resembles Angus Young's s tage costume. 468. Quoting Bob Dylan is just silly. no filing Workm an's Comp. 462. 1st Watch is not for accordion practice. 488. or Lynyrd Skynyrd trivia. power belching. 485. I'd better have a real good excuse for being a necromancer if I'm lawful go od. My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah. 469.450. I am not fluent in any dialect of gibberish. 463. 465. 452. 2nd Watch is not for starting up pick up rugby games with wandering monster s. Quoting Bob Newhar t is right out. 455. Not allowed to convince the entire party to base the group only off Gary Ol dman characters. If the word 'Mullet' appears anywhere on my samurai's character sheet. they didn't mean with a surprise marr iage proposal. 466. 474. 491. Torah. 489. I will not redefine the term 'trapdoor'. I will not base any Media character off Milo Bloom. The vampire clan with vissitude is not pronounced 'Karl' 460. I am forbidden from doing anything that ends with a snarf. Can't trick the rest of the party into babysitting my kids. 471. Castillians do not always end their sentences with the word 'Ariba!" 479. I know exactly what it means and may not miscontrue it in any way. "When I'm in the mood" is not a valid trigger for a contingency spell. When my cleric is told to "Buff the Elf". Beer Boy is not an acceptable hireling for the dungeon crawl. 484. usual or only suspect. 476. 487. After a successful black ops. Torah" 486. If my Faith is 4 and your Faith is 2. 490. The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically Neutral Evil. 483. No matter the CR of the monster. he's vetoed. 458. I cannot spay the Vargyr. 459. I'd better not be the prime. 492. 473. No uploading porn to my CO's HUD. I did not invent the wet tabard contest. . Black and Decker does not make prosthetics. No staking a vampire with anything larger than his chest cavity. If I wake up to find black cloaked figures in my room. no naked pookie dances upon victory. 467. Tasha's Uncontrollably Hideous Sister is not a real spell. 451. 3rd Watch is not clothing optional. 464. I will keep the congratulatory ass slapping to a minimum. No downloading porn from my CO's HUD.
I will not tell the noobie to roll his THACO. 498. 530. 521. 510. 495. 525. I cannot teleport objects in front of naked people. 533. 532.000 to get the vorpal option for a forklift. I will not use a time machine to invade Germany on September 2. No giving my Roman gladiator the short disadvantage and naming him Minimus. 496. I cannot play a Tex an. I will not base my superpowers off of Christ. If an NPC is known as the "One" I cannot volunteer to be the "Two". bad jazz adds nothing to seduc tion rolls. When I level up. 515. No supplying my own canned applause. No inventing the minefield. I am not the Lord of Rodly Might. The nationality of my favorite soccer team does not add to my Brawl Skill. 502. My warrior cleric will not pick his deity solely on the god's BAB. 519. I cannot buy every single advantage during character creation. Despite being a staple of comic books everywhere. 527. Dual wielding party members is also frowned upon. Not allowed to parry at the wrist. 531. A firefight is not the best time to tell the party my Medtech has a fear of blood. Running a non-stop Rocky Horror fest for staked vampires is outside the bud get for most Samedi. 520. 497. 511. Not allowed to name my characters Grimlock. 517. I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnag e angels. My character is not from Duncan. I will not convince the entire party to play Amish for the cyberpunk campai gn. If the party is to frequently meet with Queen Victoria. No making up gnomish subraces. 526. I cannot spend $64. While Bardic music can increase skill rolls. After a bloody battle. If my name isn't Grimlock. I cannot make a dungeon crawl easier by opening a rival dungeon and hiring . I cannot earn bonus XP for 'catching air' with an MBT. 529. Tai Chihuahua is not a g ood concept. 514. 507. 528. 500. 522. 516. I cannot make called shots to their self esteem. securing Dutch domination of Europe. can't start every sentence with "Me Grimlock" 503. 499. 504. My superhero will not spend points to fly just because he's too lazy to wal k. Even if my character is nothi ng like him. Dwarves do not get Beard Cancer. 535. 534. 501. Even if playing a game allowing animal characters. 508. 506. Affirmative Action does not require me to play a drow. So stop trying. Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending. If somebody in the party has a Wisdom or Intelligence lower than 8. I cannot increase my comeliness by growing a pornstache. My character cannot give another character the alcoholic disadvantage durin g play. 513.494. 523. When I'm rescued the correct response is 'thank you' not 'took your freakin g time!' 524. 509. When GM demands to know what my character is doing. 1939 by sur prise. Idaho. I am fo rbidden from talking to them. I just can't copy the guy next to me's choices. 518. it better not be "The C harleston" 512. Under no circumstances is my medical droid allowed a groin mounted rectal t hermometer. 505. Even if the rules allow it. Mjy Vjikjing Skjald wjill njot tjake ljibjertjies wjith thje rjunjic ajlphj abjet. I will not ask my gun for advice.
552. feat . No matter how well I make my disguise check. No. Even though I'm the ranger. Defensive perimeter traps my character sets up are automatically party know ledge. When confronted with a haunted house with bleeding walls. are not appropriate anti-grenade measu res. 570. 559. Perform skill does not apply to the following: Performance art. 573. 572. spoken word . I can't stalk the elf babe. druid's companion or paladi n's mount just for a laugh. Improved evasion does not work against Save vs. 563. the elf his bow and the dwarf his axe. 554. 553. I can't play a deep gnome just to make the rest of the party have to pronou nce Svirfneblin. No going 100% tracer round on the HMG just because I like the pretty colors . I cannot carry 100lbs of styrofoam without encumbrance penalties." 541. 550. 564. my death will not even warrant a saving throw. My first wish cannot be "I wish you grant all my wishes to the spirit and l etter of the wish' 569. The Lutherans don't have an inquisition. no converting it into a self supporting blood bank. while effective. There is more to buying rations than ramen. 544. I cannot consult my lawyer before making my wish.away all his guards. 549. 536. Can't hire a sentient black pudding to be the ship's janitor. 537. If they get a bonus to spot my gun with a geiger counter. Even though armor gives him no benefit. My vampire hunter can't have anything he saw on an infomercial at 3am on PB S. DM. 540. The DM does not want to know how my human fighter is triple wielding scimit ars. my monk still has to wear something . 557. spam and beer. 551. 548. Even if the rules say otherwise. my gnome cannot convincingly p ass for any member of Rush. I will stop snickering every time the monk announces he's touching someone with his quivering palm. Dwarves can indeed tell the difference between their genders. 547. bonus. my gnome can't offer his accordion. If my character's drow wife finds I let my niece appear in a Gnomes Gone Wi ld Video. Even if I spend the points. 562. Dead party members. 561. A full minute of stunned silence means "My God what did you do?" not "Pleas e continue. benefit. I will not secretly maze the wizard's familiar. "Get dressed quickly in the dark" is not an advantage. 560. All 3 of my wishes cannot involve Alpacas. 567. I cannot start married to any of the X-Men. If a powergamer joins our crew. 546. I can't have it. or fan dances. 556. 568. 565. I can't make anyone Jewish with a called shot. 555. "Pass without trace" doesn't work on bad checks. I will not billet him in the newly furnishe d auxiliary airlock. 574. I cannot have a "What Would Ao Do?" bracelet. 571. 538. 558. It is not physically possible to cook off an accordion. 566. There is not a 'Take your daughter to work day' for adventurers. Even if the Ranger offers his sword. 545. I will not cast Gate to bind an infernal creature of power to my bidding an d make him mow the lawn. Cannot install Lojack on the Dragonkin. When prompted for a target by the guided missile "the naughty bits" is not a valid choice. 543. The Cause Disease spell cannot inflict Nitrogen Narcosis. 542. I do not have time to carve that mountain in the shape of anything. 539.
that includes Gnomish Poetry Slams. No using psychic powers before the adventure to figure out who to take life insurance out on. 611. 603. I still can't apply embarrassing tattoos to the NPC. my berserker cannot take the beekeeping skill. Even if I'm a near immortal demi-god with the power to create entire worlds with a thought. "Pimp my Death Star" is not a real show. 593. 594. 596. If my alignment forbids torture. 602. 590. I can't use my sneak attack opportunity to cop a feel. 604. 586. True to fluff or not. Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill. 585. 579. other PCs cannot be haggled into paying me to pe rform errands for me. lampshade and half elf stripper. I can't show up to the adventure drunk a nd wearing only a toga. Every time a PC takes himself out through his own stupidity does not let me sing the Oompa-Loompa song. Cannot spend extra money to get the optional "flay" setting for my pistol. I can't convince the rival party our Q-Ship is just named that because it's piloted by John DeLancie." 588. I can't thwart the Rebel Alliance's attack with the newly invented manhole cover. 606. a minotaur architect is a really bad idea. 609. 608. Can't intimidate the evil wizard just by constantly summoning bigger versio ns of what he's just summoned. 582. 581. 591. The party does not need to know about the time I woke up duct taped to the back of a Drow Matron Mother. I los e it. 613. On second thought. that includes my skin. Wonderful paradox. 587. Rectomancy is not a school of magic. No filling the paladin's stocking with coal on Christmas to make him wonder what he's got to atone for. I cannot pick a race with a prehensile ANYTHING. The answer to 'who's got point?' is not the fireball. No matter how well I roll. 607. A N-Scale tuba player is not an appropriate miniature for my gnome bard. 601. it doesn't provide an attack of oppo rtunity. No initiating social challenges based only on the color of the werewolf's s hoes. 595. 577. I cannot name my character Dwead Piwate Woberts. 583. I cannot have any gun mentioned in the Geneva Convention by name. 580. isn't it? 589. skill. it's vetoed if that's the Richter scal e. No diety will let me use my nipples as holy symbols. 615. 612. perk or merit. No matter how stupid the PC's comment. Even if this an adventuring party. 598. 597. A sledgehammer does not give any bonus to my search for secret doors roll. Retroactively if need be. I can't have a magic item I can't request with a straight face. 599. If my power is super growth. 600. 584. 605. 614. Any adventure that ends up with my character being worshiped as an orc god was just a dream.. still bad to throw a party when Dad's away without permission. No dual wielding whips until I at least have proficiency with them. Tensor's Herniated Disc is not a real spell. Cannot start the new adventure with me trying to run down who ever didn't s how up for the last adventure. If my gun on a scale of 1-10 is a 7. If we run out of cannonballs armadillos will not do in a pinch. My superhero tank must be height/weight proportionate. 575. Defibrillators do not allow me the use of the Cleave feat. but if I take advantage of this ability. 576. 578. 610. Paladins are immune to STDs. 592. One close call with a mimic does not give me the right to attack every door . Even if I'm a wizard. and I'd better believe Grand Moff Tarkin knows this. No taunting the 1st level magic user with "Mighty bold talk for a guy with only 4HP.
German characters do not gets 4 racial bonus to intimidate French character s. we'll settle this like pe nguins!' 636. Even the wish spell has its limits. 651. 650. make sure he d idn't leave the LARP 4 hours ago. Even if the rules allow it. 654. No matter how much mousse I use. can't load my shot gun with baking powder.stabbing things. Any answer to a question involving the words 'wizard'. 653. Gnolls don't fall for the fake ball trick more than once. 642. 619. 634. not slaughter all the monsters without th em. 635. My Blessed does not have the hindrance Ailin': Stigmata. 652. 639. Just because they are all into rock. 624. 631. 640. No matter how much my humanity loss. The forehead is not an appropriate place for a kill count holo-tattoo. 626. When asked what my character is doing. 638. If the party goes into my room and finds a Deva wearing only baby oil. Medicine cabinets are not the best place to stash spare squeeze tubes of ex plosive putty.I come across. 648. 649. Even if the rules allow it. Before hiding with all the werewolves to ambush the Settite. Arguments cannot end with the statement 'Alright. If the game store owner goes into vapor lock. 647. 618. Dwarves are not proper substitutes for pufferfish. 622. can't pick his w eapon. No offering the old man and the farm kid a better rate to Alderaan. 643. dwarves are not all he adbangers. 616. And vice versa. 641. Paladins make poor vikings. metal and axes. My alignment is not Sarcastic Good. Replacing the solo's bullets with blanks so he comes in dead last in bodyco unt isn't funny. Can't marry off another PC more than half a dozen times. The GM decides if my character dies from a stroke. 'station wagon' and 'wood paneling' is no. Even if he loves me too. Even if they are the same cliched acid for blood aliens. The DM is not impressed by me spoiling his well planned ambush by just cast ing Glassee on the door. I can't gain 1. When told to choose my weapon in a duel with the assassin. 621. My fighter cannot take the flaw: Addiction. My character's grandma was not. still can't take God as an ally. 633.000 XP with one forged check .000. Recon means tell them what I saw. My matter how high my faith skill. I cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear. 625. I can't kill a 4th gen vampire with a pump act ion loaded with buck in a single round. Zero bodycount does not mean just the ones they can find. oven . 630. 623. 620. not me. No matter what the dice say. 637. Casual attire does not include shoulder holsters. wars have been started that way. When asked to tutor someone on his defense trait. 646. the adventure is over. is not and will never be a contract killer. 627. Cannot wish for the party to have common sense. 632. Cannot recreate any scene in 2001: Space Odyssey involving women's lingerie . 628. 644. 629. it had better not be the vitakinetic . 617. a chainsaw is not a substitute for a b ayonet. my hair will never have damage resistance. I can't use audible glamour to trick the cleric into building an ark. 645. can't keep punching him u ntil he get it. I must remember before the next time I shave off the sleeping dwarf's beard and glue it to the sleeping elf. Chitti-Chitti-Bang-Bang is not an appropriate choi ce for the romance background.
Quoting Ministry lyrics is not SOP for the Gladius Dei. 690. 685. 680. Mordenkainen's Dysfunctional Family is not a real spell. Cannot name Boba Fett as a godparent to any of my children. 673. EB AY is not an option. 655. 666. 667. 658. 675. 683. my Paladin cannot have the flaw: Hatred. My Paladin will stop referring to her detect evil power as Evildar. 669. The line on my character sheet for 'Sex' is not for keeping score. can't pick Nunchucks. 661. Teleport Without Pants is not a real spell. 657.mitts and spurs. No matter what the kids say. 672. 686. Greco-Roman Wrestlin g or phone sex. 689. can't channel Baron Samedi at a Coming Out Bal l. animated balloon animals is a poor use of the Create Golem feat. 662. My character's primary purpose in the party is not to just leech 1/6 of all the XP. 660. still can't get a bonus to my intim idate check. The Dr. The game of chicken does not involve the polymorph spell. My axe doesn't go off accidentally when I'm cleaning it. While I'm fixing the X-Wing.All li ving things. 678. When offered a Dracheneisen item of my choice. Distract the bad guy does not mean with a recreation of the Apollo landing. House Kurita Mechwarriors do not appreciate posters of Godzilla taped over their optical sensors. Can't make a called shot with a flamethrower. 664. After finishing the cliched "New boss is villain" adventure. 665. My mummy can't take out multiple life insurance policies on himself and nam e himself the prime beneficiary. 679. Even if I just rolled 832d6 for damage. When deciding what to do with the ancient alien artifacts we discovered. 670. I can't take the identical twin advantage 22 ti mes. 684. 682. Changing sexes is restricted to male or female. It's not necessary to install a portcullis in every single room of my castl e. There is no conspiracy to write out the gnome's contribution to the Fellows hip of the Ring.' 656. I do not have time in the Black Ops for break dancing. My vampire hunter does not take the "un" out of "undead" 687. A crayon is typically going to cause a penalty to my forgery skill. not level it with artillery and dig t . Walmart is not my one stop shopping place for hunting vampires. 671. The combat feats I can use with a battering ram are extremely restricted. 681. Elves do not have the racial trait: No Gag Reflex. 688. 663. I don't gain the whirlwind attack to smack all my backtal king children. 677. they can start the module without me. 674. Can't put a glass bottom on my tank to I can see the looks on their faces. the brash pilot is still miffed about the Y-Wi ng loaner. Even if the rules allow it. Search the old castle means enter it. Unlike real life. 694. can't decapitate an Aberrant with a straight r azor. Even if he is a total blast. 668. When asked my position in the party. I cannot backstab anybody with a Buick Skylark. My WW2 era mad scientist will pick a new target for his project other than Manhattan. can't file for unemployment. No matter what the dice say. 693. 692. 691. it's not 'whatever's closest to Bangko k. Jones School of Swordfighting is not an appropriate Swordsman's Sch ool. 676. Even if the rules allow it. 659. AT-ST soccer games are strictly against Imperial Army protocols.
707. Cannot singlehandedly make Starfleet Academy the #1 party school in the Alp ha Quadrant. 704. 729. If my character is related to a god. 722. My paladin mini is vetoed if it's obviously Private Drake from Aliens. 728. 708. they didn't mean with cigarette butts. Cannot take the flaw Obsession: Elf Chick's lingerie. If almost all the words in my character's background start with the same le tter. he's vetoed. Any plan is vetoed if it was obviously inspired by Boromir. furry an d a squirrel. 724. 731. Any plan involving strapping puppies to my armor is vetoed. 710. No part of the plan includes: You give me the idol. Even if my super power is invisibility. 712. 715. Cannot sharpen Ioun stones for increased headbutt damage. Adding hydrolics to my R2 unit does not give him an intimidate bonus. 697. No taking the party to Kara-Tur just because my character has a thing for A . I do not get a bulk discount on ninjas. still have to provide a model for m y character. The time machine is not for finishing my set of Disciple autographs. A throat punch does not give a bonus in a contested philosophy check. I still can't hit on her. No. I cannot start the game in post-apocalyptic Poland driving a Porsche. When told to leave a trail for the rest of the party to follow. My black ops experience does not include panty raids and beer runs. Not allowed to use basic economics to crash the evil empire's economy by sp ending all my swag there at once. 719. 723. 726. Fed Ex does not deliver to the Keep on the Borderlands. Even if the rules allow it. The Banana of Disarming is not a real magic item. 732. I give you the whip. 711. No matter how many called shots to the neck I make. Don't have to include the line "And then stab them a lot" in the plan. 709. 720. 716. 725. A fluffy tail does not add to my comliness if I'm already 1' tall. 713. My character's background cannot be a wikipedia biography with "Falco" cros sed off and my character's name written in. Of Arc. Even if the rules allow it. 730. 734. Not legal to retroactively challenge anyone I just shot to a duel. 721. My info gathering mission must include info that wasn't obviously obtained in a brothel. 727. No "accidentally" crosswiring the X-Wing's fire control and ejection seat s witches. there is not a Mr. 736. 701. 698. Cannot take the moniker "the Hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalinist" 702. 705. 706. it's already assumed. I can't invent the strip joint. No using my hideously low Charisma to get the villain to do the opposite of what I suggest. 696. 700. 703. Cannot base my barbarian after Wink Martindale. Cannot make a plan that hinges on the villain first being allergic to peanu ts. 718. 733. Can't intentionally fail all my secret door checks so I don't have to play Tomb of Horrors again. No. I'm still not going to cause a cool pyrotechnics display. I cannot play a race the GM can't pronounce. 717.hrough the rubble. Need to stop using my reality altering ability to make every day Mardi Gras . Not allowed to trade in my X-Wing for a Gunstar. Warnings given retroactively in battle aren't appreciated. 714. 699. Buying the Elf Babe a trampoline and telling her it boosts her Dexterity is n't fooling anybody. it can't be as a parent. During the Black Ops no accessing the target's HR files and getting babes' phone numbers. can't sink a battleship with a stapler. 735. 695.
Not possible to tap a keg for mana. If I've leveled up 5 times to the Dragonkin's 0. 745. can't takes out an MBT with a shotgun loaded wi th slug. If the party has to pose as classical German composers. 746. Before turning undead. Even if the rules give no maximum encumbrance. . 742. Cannot take the spetum as my favorite weapon just because it sounds dirty. Burning my bard song on CD and putting it on repeat does not mean the effec t never ends. 737. When challenged to a high noon shoot-out. 740. 765. No slipping the juicer Ritalin. No encouraging swedish accents. 751. Not allowed to forge the 1. 1% Sanity. A bag of holding is a bad place to stash bear traps. 772. 749. Fighter can't put points in Perform just so he can hammer dance after each fatal critical hit. 766. 768. Holding a pillow over a sleeping person's face is not a gnomish expression of affection. 739. 774. Not allowed to base a paladin off Lee Marvin. There is a reason no game has pasties in it's starting equipment list. still can't pick up the bank and walk away with it. 743. My great axe priviledges can be taken away. 756. There is not a Spent Clip Fairy. 763. Restricted to one blue chip for humor per game. My mythos investigator doesn't talk in his sleep. more open minded genie to grant my remai ning wishes. no more slipping the anti-paladin sodium pentath al. 747. 741. 767. my character is not allowed to ki ll George Takei. 744. Mashed potatoes do not add to my damage resistance. 771. make sure the assassin didn't take the vampire templ ate. Apparently Chaotic Angry and Neutral Hungry aren't real alignments either. 755. 764. My second wish can't be for a new. Though highly educational. I will not declare "I'll be Bach" 752. Will not color code everything on the ship just to piss off the Vargyr. I will not build a character with a skill from every single expansion book.1 ring. No making up holidays for my cleric. My investigator's motto is not "99% Mythos Lore. In the middle of a chase in a commandeered car can't spend an action to cha nge the radio presets. Can't wish I was the GM. 750. No more Crazy Ivans while I'm driving the AT-AT. Can't just walk the obstacle course. Can't make the blacks ops super easy by sending a couple of strippers to th e guardroom first. Not allowed to take a toad for a familiar just for it's pharmaceutical prop erties. 757. 761. Even if it was obviously in self defense. Can't parry with a called shot to the face.don't push me" 776. Tai Kwan Doberman is not a real martial art. 760. 775. 738. 753. 758. even though I beat everybody who tried to run it. Can't use the time machine to rename famous historical discoveries after my self. Even if the rules allow it. 748. badgers or crushed gla ss. 759. 777. 770.sian chicks. 762. The Power Armor skill does not have a cascade skill dance. 769. Not allowed to give my character a name from a bushman click language. 754. that doesn't mean I'm lapp ing him. 773. that means in the time zone I'm c urrently in.
787. Monks do not make 3 Stooges sounds in combat. 795. Taking the orc warlord's skull as a trophy is acceptable. 791. on a to wn's population. Not as a hand pup pet. In the middle of a black ops can't reprogram the cleaning droids to wax the floors for 12 hours straight. Not Miller Time. Large dice are for rolling. can't sign the members hip card "D. Despite the movie's claims. On second thought. 804. Somebody doesn't "accidentally" fall on two dozen shanks. Boom Orangutan. Not allowed to give any birthday gift to a child that immediately earns me a dark side point. No I cannot keep the drow priestess we just found as a pet. 811. 818.778. 793. D alai Llama. When told I have to join the RPGA to play in a game. 788. 806. If I have access to warm water. "Start a career in modeling" is not an appropriate use of the Suggestion sp ell. 801. Pregen characters do not have cutesy nicknames. Improved Evasion is not solid proof "Duck and Cover" works. The following are also not acceptable Ironclaw characters: Mortal Wombat. The adventure wrap up is the epilogue. If my personal carried firepower exceeds that of the Battleship Texas. . 797.06. can't spend half his points on radar sense and t he other half on cooking. can't secretly remove the firing pins from the powergamer's guns. 794. 789. Can't hunt drow with a spotlight and 30. Augment their psi means their mental powers. 805. 812. I cannot take the Dementia: Obsession counting things if I'm not a Malkavia n." 781. not their air pressure. we took the joke too far. If in the middle of our dressing down our CO strokes out. We do not settle disputes in Paper-Rock-Scissors with games of Vampire. 803. can't shoot 20 guys in one round with a musket. Sending the villain a nymph stripper only works once. Taking each class as I level in alphabetical order is forbidden. 807. 786. I don't have to take a lower level bard adventuring as my opening act. 819. My paladin's job is not to enforce happiness. 816. In the middle of the black ops can't lock a bunch of long haired molting ca ts into the CEO's office. 817. 808. Cannot challenge anyone to a dance off. My tribe's trial by combat ritual is not best described as "Calvinball with axes" 782. Even if we are in Ravenloft. 802. 785. Wookies get no racial bonus for chess. ther e's a problem. I don't earn the bonus XP for a written background if it's just a summary o f the plot to Dig-Dug. While the party is off searching for secret doors. 784. Covering fire does not include nuclear weapons. When building a superhero. 800. Paladin can't go up ten levels in one night. 779. 783. 792. 780. can't position the slain orcs in compromising positions. Duck. 814. I can't take it even if I am a Malkavian. 796. 799. My character cannot have a noticeable impact. I don't take watch unsupervised. Not sound effects. positive or negative. The default response to a social challenge in any game is not to just shoot them. even if their real names ar e pretty lame. 813. 790. Not allowed to use guppies as buckshot. Fake eye spots on my helmets do not help intimidate the monster. 810. 809. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig. "You take the scary one" is not our default battle strategy. Even if it's for his own safety. 798. To the death. 815. Even if the rules allow it.
I wil l skip right by the Cthulhu Mythos. I don't get a bonus to hit with eyepokes. Even if the rules allow it. I cannot lure out the Psycho Killer into an ambush by having sex with anoth er character. My battlemech does not play Dixie every time I hit the jump jets. 825. Polymorph Mother-in-Law is not a real spell. I didn't 'accidentally' forget to buy any skills. 828. The back up trap handler is not the guy with the lowest INT. I can't use one blanket seduction check on the en tire crowd. My sorcerer will not take a level in druid just to make it easier to get to the flammable stuff. 822. my Paladin can't serve the god of obituaries. Elves do not respond to chainsaws the same ways dogs react to vacuum cleane rs. We will not take the dead dryad with us to use as kindling. Even if infinitely useful. Not a fetish club. Any superhero offensive to more than two major religions is vetoed. The FBI tends to notice when people buy several miles of hamster tubing at once. 843. No paraphrasing the party leader's elaborate plan as 'pick somebody you don 't like and let them know it. we aren' t sending the dwarf into battle via catapult. 836. 829. 840. 832. 854. As a matter of fact. Doesn't matter if it's an anime style game. I will not keep reincarnating that bugbear until he comes back as something we can actually eat. Even if the rules allow it. When plumbing the depths of depravity. Gandalf or that shapechanging wizard from Krull. I will not r efer to him as CliChe Guevara. No more tricking rookies into putting whoopie cushions on Lord Vader's thro ne. 852. Even if I'm faced with yet another Get of Fenris Lupus Ahroun. It's not a good idea to taunt Greek heroes with "Who's your daddy?" 846. 833. . absolute power over elastics is not an appropria te super power. 821. 839. 831. 847. Doesn't matter how high my influence is. 848. 835. 841. we're in the thieves' guild. 845. 838. Jeopardy does screen for telepaths. 850. 830. I cannot have Bracers of Brachiation until I tell the DM what brachiation r eally means. 855. 826. Overrunning a larger army is not a glorious victory if it happened at 3AM a nd they were still in bed. I won't t hrow dynamite in every well I come across. I will stop reminding Elminster he's not as cool as Merlin. 834. I still can't make Carmen Miranda hats part of the unit's dress code. In the middle of a black ops no inserting a memo into the target's computer mandating 'clothing optional Mondays'. If everybody in the room is in black leather. a pelvic thrust does not cause Sanity loss. Even if the mages critically fumbles his stealth check. Doesn't matter how practical. 853. The Caern is not "Disneyworld as if run by coyotes" 849. 824. When handed Dieties and Demigods and told to pick a god for my druid. 851.' 837. 842. 823. 827. Even if we are in Sweden. 844. can't threaten to b leed him slow. we aren't reanimating the dead dragon and hav ing him haul that horde back for us. I must remember to come up for air.820. Even if it would have immediately solved the last six adventures. I can't take the 1st Armored Division as an all y. I will not run up my bar tab and then skip out leaving the DM's super NPC t o foot the bill. It doesn't matter how high his hit points or damage reduction are. Despite the song's claim.
claws. 891. I will not use undocumented zombie workers to help build my castle. 884. 883. Breast enhancing spells gain no benefits from meta-magic feats. 877. I can't just keeping buy rounds of drinks until everybody passes out so I c an rob them. I will not use my vast personal knowledge of Dublin. 865. giving feuding TL1 tribes TL12 weapons and putting the results on PPV is just wrong. 890. I do not need to see proof of insurance before making a medtech roll. combat sense and longevity. I will not disbelieve the magic mouth before he gives out the important plo t information. 857. I will concede we're on a dungeon crawl and stop trying to talk to the mons ters. when it's my turn to pick treasure. Even if it's catchy. Any action causing the powergamer to storm off while actually appreciated i . 892. 895. 894. I will not convince the party to name all the characters the same thing. half-elves do not automatically go both w ays. can't cal l dibs on the castle. 897. 882. 863. Bigby's Offensive Finger is not a real spell. Cultists tend to notice if you've replaced their summoning ritual with Jitt erbug instructions. 870.856. I cannot have a gun with an area of affect larger than it's range. Any gun that sets off the metal detector before I even pass through it is v etoed. 887. I don't have to yell my battlecry everytime I roll to attack. 873. I can't play her like a rampaging nordic warrior. can't feed the Red Talon peanut butte r. Texas to get an unfair advantage in the campaign. 874. Using him for spell compo nents is not. 893. Even if there is no alignment in Traveller. 889. 858. 860. I will not miss the final epic battle just because I crit my seduction chec k. 880. Despite evidence to the contrary. 875. My doctor's bag will contain more than just a bonesaw and a bottle of whisk ey. I will not combine Thermographic Sights and a gun that can shoot through wa lls. Buying a bigger gun does not restore sanity. 886. I will not try to regain sanity by nailing the reporter chick in public. Under religion I cannot put Born Again Klingon. Elves are not deciduous. 896. Polish is not a sub-dialect of gnomish. 872. 881. 871. Customs doesn't care what my charisma bonus is. 885. 864. 861. can't just target their clothes. I do not put the cad in decadent. We can't all play bards just to relive our favorite Spinal Tap moments. he can't take the flaw Total Pacifist. A funeral is not a proper place for setting new fashion trends. nor the rave in depraved. 878. I will not brag too loudly I'm the real reason behind the sinking of the Ti tanic. If my superhero has a healing factor. 862. Any character that can run the 2 minute mile is vetoed. 866. Dwarves do not get Roto-Rooters as racial weapons. 879. If I want to play a rampaging nordic warrior and get handed a treehugging e lf hippie instead. Even if I am playing a chick. Even if it is hours of entertainment. 868. I can't spend all my starting cash on shoes. 876. Halflings do not store food in their cheeks for winter. Searching the dead PC for spell components is ok. 888. Richard Simmons is not an appropriate role model for a Get of Fenris. Rifts in the time/space continuum are not for my personal amusement. 867. Invisibility is all or nothing. My halfling cannot take the flaw Obsession: Ring of Invisibility. 859. After cleaning out Ravenloft. 869. It makes Black Ops too easy.
On second thought. Druids do not hibernate. I can't biosculpt the entire team to l ook like her. 923. 931. can't leave the dungeon to go sleep . 911. Not Serenity. let's not disguise the wookies in the stormtrooper unifo rms. 904. Humming the James Bond theme in the middle of a Black Ops doesn't give me a ny bonuses. 928. 907. Nowhere in the bible does it say ninjas have to line up in a straight line to fight me. In the middle of the Black Ops a diversion is not blowing off the top twent y floors of the building. 930. I will not have the architect build my castle using a hexadecimal base to s crew with the powergamer. 934. 912. Crotchless is not one of them. Any gun that can fire more rounds in one shot than I can physically carry i s vetoed. Droogie is not a starting language. 916. Especially if it's o f his pilot. 920. Not a Betty Boop. 926. can't shoot him to change it to an intimid ate check. 918. I can't take Telekinesis as an auxilary mode just to get free food from the snack machine. I cannot circumnavigate the world on foot in on e turn. Healing people of other faiths gets a penalty in Deadlands.Teleports into romantic moments is only av ailable at the maximum penalty. 898. I do not get a bulk discount at the jenny's guild. 915. 899. Even if the rules allow it. If given a stock NPC. Telekinetic Redhead Chick is not a real superhero. There are no alignment restrictions on becoming a lawyer. Dual wielding spike chains does not let me use the battlecry "DANGER WILL R OBINSON DANGER!" 910. Not possible to fire a gun with your teeth. Nerve gas complicates fast talk rolls. 906. They make platemail in a variety of styles. Before I make my next wish I have to ask myself: "Is this going to shatter the very fabric of reality again?" 925. My mech gunner can't have a nude pinup in his cockpit. 902. No matter how much we look. I will not convince the entire party to play rockerboys so we can be a Euro pe cover band. 921. we're not finding the secret door leading to th e back of the villain's hideout. 932. The Flaw: Odious Personal Habit. 919. 903. 917. After casting my one first level spell. Can't take a level of monk just for tone. Can't bribe the biokinetic to take my drug test for me. Can't clean out the dungeon by renting the adjacent dungeon and being as ob noxious as possible. I must play him as written. If escorting a high priority target. I will not fill the bag of holding with dirt so we can just fill in pit tra ps as we detect them. . 901. Goldfish do not get a bonus in a staredown. If I fail to make a bluff check. 924. Can't set the bad guy on fire until after I've blown the persuasion roll.s frowned upon. "But she's hot!" is not an acceptable excuse for my Black Ops solo dating t he tabloid reporter. 914. Have one point in every single skill in the game doesn't count as a super p ower. 909. A runic facial tattoos is acceptable for my berserker. 905. 927. Can't use my attack bonus as a substitute for the skill: Hibachi Chef. 922. 908. 913. So Jar-Jar has to lose th e sarape and the cigar. 929. 900. 933.
971. Before accepting a harem as a reward for my heroism. Even if the rules allow it. I can't have shotgunchucks. 963. it can't hit monsters more than 5' away. 940. There is no such thing as a Tequila Golem. 943. 972. still can't use that wall as a shield. Even if it's been more than two hours since we left the bar. my bard can't start a boy-band. 957. After critting with a cannon. No matter his age. we can't dump a barrel of gunpowder over the gunner's mate. 961. 947. 959. Even if we're freezing to death. Keifer Sutherland does not make numerous cameos in my character's backgroun d telling him he's destined for greatness. 960. 958. Despite the halberd being 6' long. I can't use my Australian accent. 949. Just because I've hit name level does not automatically give me groupies. I can't catch dropped cannonballs with my teeth without drawbacks. 950. 970. No matter how high my strength. Elves aren't marsupials. I will not make my castle's halls 9x9x9' to keep out gelatinous cubes. 945. Even if I am pissed for working on my birthday. I will not base my Call of Cthulhu character off the lead character in Slin gblade. If I don't have an instrument for my bardic song. 939. I will not make a super hero that requires a graphing calculator to create. "Threesome" is not a specialty of the seduction skill. I cannot take the flaw Enemy: Random packs of wild dogs. I am not Bjorn of Borg. I cannot bet the powergamer he can't field strip the grenade faster than me . 964. I won't cut open the half-orc and shove th e elf inside him. We do not need an elf on this dungeoncrawl for the same reason miners need canaries. One with a Peter Lorre accen t isn't. A paladin with a British accent is acceptable. Psychotherapy doesn't eliminate the alignment change penalty. 937. Even if I am playing a space koala. 'The power of Christ compels me' does not justify my Blessed's actions. 951. No matter how practical. When I'm allowed a bunny as a familiar. 973. 953. Using precog on the personals to find out who puts out on a first date is a busing the power. Shotguns are not a traditional part of Texas funerals. I don't get any equipment before the GM can Google it. need to check with the wife. the dwarf isn' t getting the DT's. Not roll fo r initiative. 956. The town drunk is not our one stop source for all mythos happenings in ever y town. 966. 965.935. in the middle of a Black Op s I will not refer to my CO only by his first name. 942. 946. 955. 969. an 'air mandolin' won't s uffice. 962. 948. In the middle of a black ops I cannot make an educational video. 974. 944. I will not convince the entire party to play identical copies of the same c haracter on the grounds we're sextuplets. 941. . I cannot take life insurance out on anybody I have for the enemy background . Naming the cha racter Captain Franchise is not. The ability to give superpowers to characters is acceptable. 936. 954. 967. I will not abuse the Exemplary virtue to set up highly choreographed dance routines with random crowds. that doesn't include Ava Fabian. The most important stat in Call of Cthulhu is not movement. Cannot take the shape of any animal the GM doesn't know. 968. 938. 952. If short changed at the Hong Kong deli I will call the manager. If Australia doesn't exist.
The expressive dance skill is not a substitute for language skills. 984. As a matter of fact. 977. David Bowie cannot cast glitterdust at will. 1016. 1005. I can't sue the medtech for malpracti ce. 1020. Even if the rules allow it. 983. Even if spells are use them or lose them. can't suckle the elf chick. 996. I still have to cut down the tree wit h the chainsaw. can't use sword swallowing to parry. Dwarves can't take trees as favored enemies. 990. I will not lay siege to Cinderella's Castle. When asked to describe my character.975. 976. 997. I cannot start with an armor class higher than my actual age. I can't train squirrel mobs to abuse the grapple rules. Even if we have more ammo than fuel. 1002. 1011. Elves do not take 1d3 1 minutes for their entire menstrual cycle. 1010. 993. 981. I can leave out the hickies. Even if he botches his medicine roll. 994. 980.. Note to self: Lightsaberchucks. I will stop blaming every massacre we come across on Decepticons. Drakkar Heartgourger is not a proper name for a paladin. If I take the Poison Immunity advantage. I cannot switch miniatures between each combat. This issue is also closed. 985. If we have to add a new PC mid-campaign. not cut down every tree between here and ther e. 979. No matter how bad the game is going. 1017. 989. Stone Giants don't have heat sinks. In the middle of a black ops I cannot moonlight as tech support. Even if it isn't in the rules. berserking does not improve my aim. I can't empty out the entire castle for a week with just a cherry bomb. Disable plot device is not a real skill. 987. 988.BAD IDEA 1013. I was not issued a flamethrower for my own personal amusement. 991. my battlecry cannot be "COBRA!" 1012. The rest of the party would appreciate it if I didn't take Munchhausen Synd rome by Proxy as a flaw. I will stop referring to the powergamer as MinMaximus. Can't use the Jedi Mind Trick to convince the stormtroopers the Droids ove . There is something wrong with a 2nd level Kamikaze. 1006. 1015. 999. I have to use the same scale miniature as ev erybody else. Not permitted to die from essence loss during character creation. 992. Even if starving. Even if I bought the book at Walmart. Nowhere in the plan does Franco go in where the others have been. 1021. I can't beat on the drow until he admits his name is Toby. 986. That whole Expedition to the Barrier Peaks? Dream Sequence. a 90' tall hostile pineapple is much more terrifying t han a dragon. I won't stradle the table like Slim P ickens riding a bomb. Corporate Pop Whore is not a real prestige class. 1008. 1007. 1003. No matter how many points I put into the skill. Mumus do not appear in the starting equipment list for a reason. 1018. 998. I don't get a discount on advantages . 1004. My last wish cannot be for Ragnarok. not the HMG. that doesn't include Radiation. Texans do not get revolvers as a racial weapon proficiency. The script for the Baywatch movie does not cause more Sanity loss than the Necronomicon. 982.. Even if we are facing Yuan Ti. I will not waste Meteor Swarms o n a goblin. Elves do not get Viking Funerals. he doesn't have to pass a drug te st first. 1009. 1000. 978. 1014. 1001. Despite what the rules say. Trailblaze means find a path. 1019. Foam Finger of Death is not a real spell. 995. "Kiww the Wabbit" is not a proper viking battlecry.
1041. We can t stabilize the dying villain before we make our escape just in case he was a load bearing villain. doesn t me an mine is 6x better. 1030. When I get to the custom weapons creation section. he s vetoed. No matter how much he pisses me off. Holding the hand crossbow sideways gangsta style does not add to my intimida te check. 1025.r there are the Droids they are looking for. Doesn t matter if I m just using to spot weld. I will keep turning t hose pages. If the weapon has the 3-handed trait. and not just Llanowar Leafblower. 1043. I m not automatically eliminated from the crappy module if I guess the wro ng murderer like in Clue. 1046. Even if I wait for the ninja to jump at me. slapping a cease and desist order on him isn t going to work. . 1052. 1054. There is no such thing as a Viking Assisted Suicide. I will not use the d20 system to test the validity of any Kennedy Assassin ation theory. 1044. 1056. 1034. 1058. My character cannot gain a level through nepotism. force lightning still gets me a dark side point. No seriously. I can not name my character anything that was suggested by Tom Servo. Just because my superhero game has 18 stats and yours only has 3. 1039. Even if the villain is Lawful Evil. I do not. they have to be on different sides. I will not raise the barbarian s dead m other-in-law. If I have two cyberarms. 1027. 1023. And vice versa. No matter how much ammo I start with. 1029. I can t impact the total world supply. Canadian is not a real language. 1057. Slings make poor thongs. 1031. 1040. I can t summon anything in MM4 just so I can take a bathroom break while the DM looks it up. Ninjas do not have a hive mind. 1050. the high and tight buzz cut doesn t exist in Exalted. dirty hippi e. The bluff skill is no substitute for actually knowing the spell. it s not allowed in the rulebook. I can t crucify him with a repea ting crossbow in a single round. I was not raised by a pack of feral Ironclads. My character has mastery level in singing. 1026. Can't start the game with 24 hours to live. 1033. 1059. 1032. I will not convert to Eilistraee just so I can watch naked drow chicks get ting their groove on. 1047. So I should stop making random accusations. 1051. If at any point in his lifespan my character can clear out every single Ca ve of Chaos in one single round. Jury Summoning I is not a real spell. 1028. 1037. As a matter of fact. Kangaroos are poor substitutes for taun-tauns. 1055. 1049. There is no such thing as a Dwarven Battle Perm. 1024. Erasing the compass on the map and redrawing it in reverse does not mean t he villain will start building his evil railroad backwards. I will also not simply refer to the elf druid as that dirty. the entire party is ve toed. I don t get a sidekick just for the ex tra hand. If my troll is the smartest character in the party. 1042. I will call the elf druid by his real impossibly long elf name. 1035. 1038. 1036. Monofilament does not automatically make the world a better place. 1045. I will not attempt to overdose on Rogaine so I can disguise myself as a wo okie. We will not gut every animal we kill to see if they have treasure inside l ike in video games. My druid can't summon or change into a skunk. 1048. 1022. 1053.
1079. 1091.1060. 1082. Even if we are playing in the New Republic era. There is no such thing as a brothel crawl. 1080. Even if I take twice as long. Or their players. 1071. . if a character dies I will not disavow kno wledge of him until after the mission is over. 1067. Even if I think of something the Demi-lich isn t immune to. I m not allowed to hunt anything cute. my sumo wrestler can t take super human attrac tiveness. he s immune to i t. 1063. I can t h ave a slip and slide for the dungeon crawl. I will not pan for gol d wherever the river comes out. 1092. I will not tell the rookies they can roll down their Y-Wing s windows. In the middle of a Black Ops. 1085. 1066. I do not get to put remote detonation switches into the weapons of any P C s I build them for. 1094. 1089. 1064. 1088. After rerouting a river through the villain s lair. Even if the rules allow it. kobolds or ken der. 1081. 1076. Metal detectors don t automatically find Cylons. 1074. I can t max out the party with Delta class Cyberware immediately after character generation. If the battle goes for 20 rounds. 1062. I cannot try and throw large blunt objects at malkavians. I can t call dibs on Boba Fett s armor. Even if the game is a crappy rip-off of World of Warcraft. I do not have to check before each adventure that my fellow adventurers are not doppelgangers. 1069. I can t actually wear a cloaker. There is no such thing as a weresaxophonist. my character can t speak in Leet. Everybody Wang Chung tonight is not an acceptable use of the Mass Suggesti on spell. 1075. Tornadoes don t have hit points. The Cryokinetic is forever banned from water balloon fights. 1078. When told to dress like a Goth I will make sure with no uncertainty whet her they mean black clothes and eyeliner or chainmail and shield. Even if I roll a natural 20. My sumo wrestler can t have lap band surgery without affecting his martial arts skills. 1065. another 48 hours probably won t either. 1077. 1072. If 48 straight hours of pistol whipping doesn t convince the terrorist to spill his guts. Cylons or pod people. we don t have to stop and wait for the z amboni guy to clean up the battlefield. 1073. A tattoo gun is not standard equipment in a mapping kit. Just because the game left the rules for stun setting grossly unbalanced doesn t mean I have to take advantage of it. My IRSAn will not use his powers to help fill out wikipedia articles. Despite the name. Not just wait outside his favorite bar with a rifle. that doesn t mean I can take 40. If the GM s wife is in the party. I will go into the villain s lair and take him out the old fashioned way. and not us e magic to reroute a river into it instead. 1093. we don t have to dye the wookie fluorescen t orange. But I will fail to noti ce the cloak weighs over a quarter ton. Even if my character sheet says otherwise. I can t jump the grand cannon on a stock stea m roller. 1070. 1090. I will go take out the villain s dungeon the old fashioned way. My wizard does not need to shout out the name of what he s summoning every time he picks a creature. Even if we are Womprat hunting. 1086. 1087. I cannot have a handgun that starts out doing more damage than most peop le have wounds. Even if I can prove at least a half dozen practical uses for it. 1068. 1061. In the middle of a Black Ops I do not have time to put a banana in the e xhaust port of their AV-9. 1084. 1083.
Even if I m in charge I can t order the Assault Lance to perform West Side S tory dance routines. I will not claim Texas was sto len from Mexico. Just because I was paid in advance doesn t mean I can let the incompetent expedition leader die. 1112. Even if I have enough. that doesn t include girth. I will leave out mating rituals when presenting a cultural exchange with diplomatic ambassadors. Letting the Red Shirt guard the plane is really frowned upon as it doesn t leave anybody to sacrifice to the Shoggoths. 1104. 1107. Even if he used INT as a dump stat. Summoning a Water Elemental right above the Fire Elemental doesn t work. I don t have to carve this end towards enemy on the barbarian s axe blade. Cannot start the campaign on fire. 1980 s break dancing moves have their place. I cannot RickRoll people with any video that increases their Mythos Lore . 1100. I will live longer that way. Add Bulldozers to the list of things vampires are allergic to. 1129. 1123. After a successful Black Ops. 1119. There is no such thing as a Magic Murder Bag of Holding. I cannot wish we were playing the previous edition of the game. I will not attempt to clear out the dungeon using only Bangalore torpedo es. 1118. There will be no more debating how much XP Mr. 1096. 1120. If I have an ability that lets me alter minor aspects of my appearance. Can t strangle a werewolf with a roll of Kodak film. In the middle of a black ops I will not use up all the claymores just be cause I don t want to take them back with me. I cannot wish that someone else was an Oscar Meyer weiner. 1099. I can t just stand there and read a comic book behind the villain. 1131. 1124. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on ev ery police box we pass. 1102. 1116. 1130. In front of the Vodacce princ e is not one of them. Will not start all my skills at 89% just so I get massive SAN boosts ear ly. I will not cut the vault guards in on the haul instead of fighting them. 1114. 1121. bump drafting is discouraged. . putting silencers on my minigun doesn t work. 1098. 1125. 1103. 1101. no matter what we all know it s made out of. In the middle of a Black Ops I can t start a major Corpwar just because I m bored stiff with the current run. If I m in an assault mech. Picking his pocket means more than just turning him upside down and shak ing him vigorously. before I m paid I will not immediately adopt a dozen children for the tax breaks. 1126. In the middle of a black ops I can t call my girlfriend to remind her to p ick up some Chinese on her way home. I cannot put Nodens on speed dial.1095. 1113. Tumnus would be worth. 1109. I will not take a phobia of anything that doesn t exist in the game world. 1105. Even if it is just my character speaking. 1110. Anything short of adamantine full plate is not considered light armor fo r dwarves. Even if it still give a combat bonus to everybody else. There is a limit to how much innuendo I can fit into one combat round. I can t melt it down and reforge it into a weapon my paladin actually uses. 1122. I will not do anything that Bilbo Baggins hates. 1117. I will not shoot vampires in the chest with a large pistol just so they have to explain the embarrassing sucking chest wound. 1097. 1111. 1127. 1132. I cannot have my mercy surgically removed. 1108. If given a Holy Avenger sword. 1115. 1106. I will stop referring to the Eladrin as just the Elf Mk II. 1128.
he s vetoed. I will not use a portable hole to cheat at golf. I have to go into the dungeon. 1170. Doesn t matter how big we make it. 1141. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. not just send in dozens of summoned creat ures every morning.S. My brooding costumed vigilante can t take the flaw Dark Secret: Well Adjus ted to Society. 1155. The party leader is not the one that looks best in a chainmail bikini. 1154. If I make a cowboy with the young un flaw I can t name him Sioux. No matter how long his speech is. 1138. 1144. 1145. Fireballs don t have a non-lethal option. 1174. If I don t have any points in medtech. I will ponder this after I ve cast one at that guy we needed alive. 1171. 1149. 1153. my sniper will not shoot the speaker i ntroducing the target. 1157. Not my Great Balls of Fire. pirate or padre. can t take Cloud City on a joy ride. During the psi-jump my neutral can t do mean things to the psions while th ey are tripping. 1139. The time machine is not for collecting autographs. I cannot have any gun that lets me kill the villain without being in at least an adjacent county. I will not send the villain a fake message his mother is coming then att ack him while he s cleaning. Torching the forest doesn t get me any XP for anything inside the forest. Newton wins. I can stop rolling at 7x dead. 1151. I can t call AAA to slim jim the dungeon entry doo r. I will lick the Rodian s antennae and stick him to the wall while he sleep s. 1134. Bass line is not an acceptable perform skill specialty. 1168. I am forbidden from doing anything that makes a passerby flinch. 1160. Thri-kreen do not have the flaw Obsession: Pretty lights 1156. 1142. Even if given detailed instructions on pages 50-51. 1164. I will not try to feed the Qin extremely salty food to see if he melts. I can t wish to change my vote on what module we re playing. . In the middle of a Black Ops I will not look at the target s HR files to s ee if they have better benefits. 1166. a pit trap isn t going to take out the Ta rrasque. 1169. Even if I spend the points. A 2nd level commoner is not twice as common as a 1st level commoner. My Eshu does not get bonus frequent flyer miles automatically during cha racter generation. If my character requires the GM to memorize the rules for siege warfare. We will not end every adventure with a public service announcement. I can t wish for somebody to publish the rules for gnomes or bards. I will wait for the GM to finish his incredibly complicated riddle befor e answering correctly. I can t try faith healing. 1159. 1146. 1136. 1162.1133. My weapon is a 3 Flaming Flail. If even the rules allow it. 1147. 1167. 1140. 1137. 1143. Nowhere in my barbarian s description will I include the word Jaunty 1135. Dick Clark is not ShemsuHeru. I am forbidden from using more than ten sourcebooks to make one characte r. I will not use the mage s Staff of Wizardry in lieu of a pool cue. Montana as an ally. I cannot be the Bizarro version of another player. 1158. If we don t have a thief. If the rules contradict Isaac Newton. I can t have my uneducated peasant start with every known language. I can t make it rain before the invention of paper currency. We can t trade the ranger for a giant. 1173. I can t take the U. 1148. 1152. Not to bring Sexy back. 1165. Our mission is to rescue the princess. 1150. 1163. 1161. 1172.S.
1211. Paladins do too urinate. 1212. 1183. 1206. I can assume he s a time tr aveler and not a zombie. 1187. The seduction skill does not have a to hit on roll. 1198. 1204. 1179. Super powers that are only useful to art majors are vetoed. Even if the boss monster has 100% magic resistance. 1192. No matter how well I make my bluff check. Dressing up the wizard as the monk still won t stop monsters from appearin g beside him and attacking him first. Even if we cleared it out. No. 1184. 1202. my wizard can t go catch a movie. we can t see if the party can beat Temple of Elemental Evil in under an hour. a dracheneisen castle do esn t count as one object. 1197. 1177. 1203. 1201. 1190. Smartass is not a character role. 1199. 1194. My panzerhand doesn t get a vote. I will not min/max the appraise skill just to clean up on The Price is R ight. 1181. In the middle of a black ops my buttocks is forbidden from making contac t with the target s copy machine. I can t turn state s evidence against a fellow par ty member. My knight will not buy a Shetland pony just so he can use his lance unde rground. we can t turn White Plume Mountain into a theme park. Even if it s totally feasible. Even if he is Chaotic Evil. I will avoid making wishes that locks the game in an infinite time loop. I will stop trying to put the Halfling in a diabetic coma. 1210. 1195. There is no such thing as ambiguously elven 1208. 1207. . 1215. 1189. Even if I make it out of one continuous design. Frogger is not an option. A stagehand does not get a better sneak bonus than ninjas. I can t indefinitely stall our rivals with a bu reaucracy check. My last wish cannot be for a cage match between Cthulhu. I will not Conga Line the Pattern. I cannot have a destroid that requires me to take the ally advantage two dozen times just to crew it. When asked what game we want to LARP. 1193.1175. I will not go to FTL just to avoid the red lights. If I m just a few XP from 16th level. It s okay to feed the Ewok after midnight. I will stop asking NPC s how much XP they are worth. 1214. I will keep rolling until I get a superpower I can actually use. Even if the rules allow it. Stan Lee does not have to make a cameo appearance in every single advent ure. 1185. Even if they d never suspect it. I cannot have any gun that has an NPC Only Trigger Guard. my Jedi can t have a flamethrower. Chewing hoagga leaves does not make me a goddammed sexual rhinodon. Flash Bangs are not to be handed out to trick or treaters. 1176. I can t have any feat in the main book if the feat is written in pencil. I will remember the spiked chain cheesemonster is allergic to the improv ed sunder feat. 1200. 1186. When approached by a famous historical figure. No it won t help if we put a silencer on the bazooka. 1209. 1205. 1191. 1180. 1178. 1213. the Star Destroyer crew isn t go ing to believe I m the new captain. In the middle of a Black Ops I can t download several thousands songs on the target s computer and then call the RIAA. Galac tus and the Tarrasque. I can t just cast fireballs at random fo rests until I hit something. I can t put a spinal mounted weapon on a bicyc le. Godzilla. 1182. 1188. 1196. Just blow them out the airlock is not a backup First Contact Protocol.
Not allowed to use the replicator and transporter to fill the Bird of Prey with Jello. Run is not our posse s motto. Ignore the metaplot is also not an acceptable super power. Head. 1249. Can t base my character off a smurf. There is no such thing as a strap on beard. can t us e Constitution as a dump stat. 1253. I will not point out the Drow Matron would make more money as an exotic da ncer. Even if I m being shanghaied into playing a rather crappy campaign. Must at least pay lip service to the metaplot. Ghurka Smurf was not a re . I didn t just seduce Chun Li. Even the rules disagree. 1235. No matter what the dice say. 1247. they aren t going to fall for a large wo oden horse outside the gates of Mordor. 1259. Heart. 1237. We aren t luring the Arasaka agents out of the safehouse by making ice cre am truck noises. 1221. It s okay if you name your Kindred Alucard. I can t wish that somebody competent wrote this module. 1222. No feat allows me to open beer cans with my pects. 1229. 1248. Overused cliché is not an appropriate favored enemy. Even if I could base my character off a smurf. 1251. 1223. It's a strangehold. 1220. 1233. 1226. I can t have a gun that treats buildings as light cover.1216. my character can still drown. And not just as the Sidhe Male. And Cammy. the answer to the problem is not to make a gatling gun out of bazook as. The Death Star does not need a cabin boy. I cannot gain Drama Dice in games I m not actually in. 1240. 1225. our party is motto can t be Wash. 1238. 1231. Even if the game is dreadfully repetitive. 1245. 1250. 1257. 1243. 1232. My fighter can t use the Monster Manual as a To-Do list. Rinse. It takes more than one pick pocket roll to totally derail the campaign. Ussuran women are not instantly recognizable by their beards. It s not possible to stampede dwarves. 1255. Not an Ogryn neck pinch. Penguins will not fit in the standard ether jar. Splitting the atom at will is not an acceptable super power. I will address the other PC as Lord Tyrion. 1258. Johnny Cash is not allowe d. 1219. Even if it s true. Mother-inlaw or Keynesian Economists. 1227. I can t take Invisibility to Detect Invisibility. It doesn t matter if he took the large advantage. 1239. 1228. My first act as XO can t be a mutiny. 1256. 1254. 1236. Even if the rules allow it. Just because my sword is intelligent doesn t mean he can do my math homework for me. 1252. But I still can t name my Garou Na mflow. No making up Patron Saints. No matter what the dice just said. 1234. I can t hit Stone with the Stone Cold Stunner. No matter how low Orc intelligence. 1242. we can t paint the Glitterboy a camo sche me. No. we aren t using the Ussuran as ballast. No matter how much sense it makes. I didn t kill the villain with the first shot of the combat. 1241. I cannot take the following as my favored enemies: Southpaws. When told to pick a published superhero to play. Repeat 1244. The Vulcan neck pinch doesn t work in campaigns without Vulcans. 1218. Eldritch Knight of the Winter Court. 1217. 1246. 1224. Having more beer than the enemy doesn t give me a morale bonus for the mass combat chart. 1230. Elves do not have to go to the bathroom in groups. Paul Stanley is perfectly acceptable. No part of the adventure is clothing optional.
I will spend my martial arts technique points on things other than blockin g and running away. 1273. 1272.al smurf. you fight like a cow 1288. The lockpicking kit must be more than a sawed off shotgun. 1289. If the villain s three room lair holds over one hundred brutes. 1278. 1277. 1261. 1282. 1260. 1264. Out of spite. a laser sight doesn t add to my chaingun s accurac y. the elf wears the maid disguise and the troll wears the bouncer disguise. 1294. I can t kill eight guys with one bullet. 1280. No rerouting the roller coaster through the Umbra. 1298. and s hall never be spoken of again. 1286. Let s not taunt the minotaur with How appropriate. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy Seeing Eye Rhino either. even if I have one on each barrel. 1267. 1284. 1292. Weapon Focus: Nukes is not a real feat. 1262. Yes. can t just t ip off the Fire Marshal. Will not reanimate dead familiars just to keep them around for sentiment al reasons. 1299. Gold dragons do not conduct electricity better than other dragons. There is a 100xp penalty every time we remind the GM of the Bionic Six. I will not spend all my freebie points buying quantakinetic auxiliary mode s. we still can t file for holida y pay that day. An elf wardancer chick in nothing but body paint is totally hot. Heavy bolters don t come with a pistol grip. Just because I m playing an anthropomorphic Emperor Marmoset doesn t give me t he noble advantage for free. 1290. My Paladin can be charged with sexual harassment if he doesn t watch exact ly where he lays on hands. 1265. Cannot bribe the target s HR director to start casual Fridays just to make o ur upcoming Black Ops easier that week. No matter what the dice say. I can t check the Soul Forge in as baggage. 1281. I can t avoid plot mandated ambushes no matter how hard I try. If the adventure includes the birth of a god. 1268. my renaissance inventor didn t just invent ma nned space flight. 1274. 1287. 1283. 1276. A Vesten berserker in nothing but body paint not so much. No I can t have an H. My Buddhist monk will lose the cockney accent. Will not retrofit my Federation Starship with fuses. not so much. doesn t mean I should. I will refrain to take character roles that the game forgot to make any ru les for. In the middle of a Black Ops I can t compose an offensive joke on the target . There will not be any sex in other player s battlemechs. Even if the rules allow it. Can t blame it on my gun. Freeing slaves out of justice is good. No I can t have a magelock mini-slugger. 1279. 1269. 1293. Giger Counter. Even if the guy I based my character off was famous for doing it. Just because I can play a charismatic Vestenmannavnjar missionary cleric. 1285. My mad scientist does not get to divide the party into control and test gr oups. R. 1291. 1263. 1275. For the last time. 1295. 1266. 1270. 1296. Any character that makes a seasoned Rifts player flinch is vetoed. 1297. No we can t weld the Star Destroyer s bridge shut. Dwarves are physically incapable of performed the Dance of the Seven Vei ls. Basing characters off gestalt of historical characters is fine unless it s M iyamoto Musashi and the mom from What s Happening. The two primary types of Halfling are not flathead and Phillips. I will stop referring to my rogue as a freelance subterranean locksmith. 1271.
1317. Gravity defying breasts. I will only use the module s suggested tactics to stop the ground assault and ignore the squadron of Y-Wings 100 meters away. Can t lure the Bastet into an ambush by turning on the can opener. Even if my character is Orthodox Jewish. 1335. I can not filibuster in the middle of my dying speech to buy the cleric mo re time. 1324. Ingrate. 1329. 1328. 1323. 1330. do not count as a super power . If another player took the Disadvantage: Stutters. 1336. Black and Decker does not make droids either. Genocidicles is a b it much. 1313. while impressive. 1319. I will do nothing that tarnishes Hello Kitty s memory. Especially if I m chasing him with a wheat thresher. 1318. I will not one shot an Eisenfurst. . 1315. 1305. 1309. You cannot tell if somebody is a power gamer by the faint smell of Gouda. Fauner Posen s Boy Toy is not technically a position at court. I will not blow all my points on extra limbs just so I can play the superh ero Millipede Man 1327. My character will refrain from appearing with Hitler in any history book s. There is no such thing as a Ballista-o-Gram. so I need to f ind another way out of that speeding ticket. Getting someone to spot for me is not going to give me a bonus on a streng th check. I can t play a K Kree. that doesn t mean he can take a 1. If the GM can t lift all the GURPS books needed to run my character. 1304. Just because the Great Race of Yith s effect on sanity is minimal. Nothing in Victoria s Secret catalog is available in Dracheneisen. 1303. Scorched Earth Day is not a holiday. The plan will not continue until the GM finds out who Zan Tabak is. I will tell the noob the game is about post nuclear Europe and not love st ruck vampires before we start.CEO s email and CC the entire company. 1306. 1325. 1311. No matter how well I make my fashion roll. No amount of background will allow me to name the character Biff Buttoms .524 me ter free step. 1314. 1312. 1337. the USMC frowns on octogenarians in front line combat. doesn t mea n I should invite them over for dinner with the folks. The M203 is not for long range bocce ball. I will not hex someone into looking like a pinata. I will pick my character s girlfriend based on something more than how muc h fire support she can provide. 1326. we are not naming th e Black Ops Operation: Mimecrime. The Ewok does not appreciate the giant hamster wheel we put in his quart ers. even in Cyberpunk. 1321. 1332. 1302. I will not spend my entire Muster bonus on lottery tickets. Even if we are told to pick a manly name for the game. 1331. I will not accuse the Traveler News Service of liberal bias. L Empereur is not going to the ball dressed in a Catholic school girl s uniform. 1333. Even if silence is required for the entire adventure. 1301. 1322. State Troopers are immune to the effects of the Delirium. Especially in Mexico Ci ty. 1308. 1300. 1320. Even if my character is Canadian. I will check other characters pu lse before trying to bury them. 1334. 1307. he s veto ed. 1310. The very concept of a Hutt lap dancer will earn me a dark side point. 1316. The 10 pole in the starting equipment list cannot support the weight of a n exotic dancer. Everybody was not gun-fu fighting. Even if they are better in combat according to character generation. A NASCAR pit crew cannot repair all my vehicle s damage in one round.
1348. Hooking up with the gamer chick the Storyteller was angling for gets me ba nned from the game. 1366. I will not dare the wage mage into trying to summon a class 20 spirit. Or baboons. 1362. I will not waste wishes on professional sporting events. I will not use the mass suggestion spell to make the elf babes to make out . 1342. I cannot become famous for not being famous. Elves do to have nipples. 1344. I can't play him. the middle of the road is not a healthy compromise. 1339. 1369. 1357. 1359. "Biggio leans into pitch" is not a real kung fu maneuver. 1341. 1358. Before we start. even if it's the one that the ga me suggested. If I have to explain to the halfling s sister why we dressed him like a racc oon. I will not program the medical droid for aggressive dentistry. 1372. 1375. 1360. I'm not allowed to touch it. No matter how cool it would be. 1340. I can't call my gun by a stupid nickname. 1378. I don t get a drama die just because the GM pees.000 Uruk-Hai with a fake tollbooth. 1350. No matter how much fun. 1345. 1354. 1370. we are not retrofitting a tank with jumpjets. Guardian mode is not just for flipping people the bird in the middle of ba ttle. no matter how much I pray. Motorcycle tires will cause aggravated wounds on a case by case basis. aren't normal gear for a Black Ops. If unsure of what side of the road we drive on. Even if the rules allow it." 1379. Even if we are issued a nuke. we re all in trouble. 1356. Even if the rules allow it. 1363.1338. Woodchippers. 1347. 1351. I will stop trying to get a reality TV show for our Black Ops team. 1377. 1352. doesn't mean I can t ake that ability. I can't break in a Jugge rnaught of Khorne. we can t use the time machine to loan Ike a few A-10 squadrons for D-Day. 1374. Even if I only get to swing a sword once per minute. 1346. 1373. 1367. The cleric is not tax exempt. I will l eave out the lyric So we can kill you. Gnomes are not nature's tripods. Brute squads make poor bridesmaids. 1353. Dwarves do not groom themselves like cats. The reverse is not necessarily true. When attempting to lure the giant to sleep with a bardic lullaby. I can't stop to smoke between attacks. 1365. Pointing out the massive plothole in the villain's plan is not going to st op her from attacking. 1371. I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer. I cannot mint my own currency. Jack Lalanne: Wrong type of Juicer. while useful. Preliminary saturation carpet bombing is not automatically Plan A. 1349. There is no god of Wombats. No matter I well I make the animal handling roll. I will not tell the new players gelatinous cubes come in a variety of yumm y flavors. 1361. We are not going to stall 10. Even if the rules allow it. No feat affects hang time. We will limit the total amount of conversation on the topic of "Hot Gnome on Gnome action. If we can't fit the droid in the freighter. Halflings are not used as currency. 1343. Just because they make a miniature with that ability. I cannot disarm someone in melee with a longbo . 1364. 1368. let's make sure whether everybody blows up if I shoot a s hield with a lasgun. 1380. 1376. I will not threaten to glue the old rules for gnomes over the new rules fo r Elves Mk II. 1355. Setting Jawas on fire with a magnifying glass is an automatic dark side po int.
1400. I will not start a Ponzi scheme involving the entire party. 1388. 1395. Even if the dungeon has only one exit. A Black Ops is not the appropriate place to declare my candidacy for mayor . The Elvish language is not just English with a hell of a lot of lisping. 1405. Igneous and Metamorphic. Characters wanting to join the party do not have to undergo the Flash Gord on tree monster ceremony. 1401. I will not spoil the adventure's mandatory ambush by using the cheesy tact ic of a "scout". 1419. Growing a goatee will not give me a bonus for sneaking into the villain's lair. even if the rules say I'm also good at it. The Monkey Grip feat doesn t have anything to do with gripping monkeys. 1399. Gods don't tap out. Even if the rules allow it. even on Ca nadians.w. 1383. The Stanley Cup does not have the same power as the Holy Grail. No matter his condition. The primary dwarf subraces are Sedimentary. 1387. I will not make the DM break out the siege rules until I'm at least second level. I cannot have a palanquin in my starting gear. I will not vote to play a game that has needed a rules decision from an ec onomist. I cannot convert to Scottish just for tax purposes. 1384. Having a reputation for having a reputation does not grant me more reputat ion. 1389. I do not have time in the Black Ops to play Tetris with the building light s. 1416. I will quit hogging the legend chips. 1411. Doing 50 in a 45 does not cause an alignment check for the paladin. I can't have a skill if the rules say I can't have. can't just starve the villain out. 1408. I cannot fence with a katana. Bjoerning. 1420. Carpet bombing is not an appropriate specialization for a starting charact er. Count on a back up villain if we ace the first one in two rounds without d amage. 1397. I will just not dump the vampire in the Umbra and call it a day. 1391. No spending all my starting gold on just a loincloth. Bleaching the drow won't help. 1414. The MMORPG convert doesn't actually have to role play in his first game. especially if I m on a Black Ops. 1410. 1392. Despite what the rules say. it's s till my fault. . Disco Inferno" 1406. bobsledding through the Vatican is much harder than it looks. 1417. 1398. 1409. 1390. I will not give my preteen kids my work number. 1404. Even if I couldn't attend the session when everything went to hell. 1412. 1421. I will not take on the entire dungeon using only one body part to attack. Can't use dominate to make vampires forget to change their clocks for Dayl ight Savings Time. Winona Ryder s bare breasts are not an acceptable weakness for my super hero . It's obvious I'm just playing a skald so I can sing "Bjeorning. 1381. 1402. I will stop shooting at natural disasters. 1403. Portable Plothole is not a real magic item. 1415. The guy with the meltagun doesn't automatically have to carry the popcorn. 1418. No using the grapple rules to change the course of history. we aren t selling the villain s corpse as modern art. 1385. 1386. 1407. No digging out all the bullets in my character and reusing them. 1413. 1393. 1382. Eldar really hate it when you greet them with "Live long and prosper" 1396. 1394.
I will not wait until the first combat to tell the new guy that the lower his AC the better. In the middle of a Black Ops I don't have time to elope. . 1429. 1433. Even if the rules allow it. Any plan that would quickly. 1430. 1423. 1440. 1428. 1455. 1438. 1450. I will remember the Japanese response to uncomfortable situations is to gi ggle. no bonus XP. 1446. The paladin does not appreciate us painting his dire tiger green and orang e. Will not blow all my skill points on just ballroom dances. 1435. is discouraged. 1451. No spending half the game session seeing what rhymes with Nyarlathotep. the dungeon boss has an identical twin b rother on standby. can't just blow off the next to top floor. Cannot name my Droid WEG-D6 1452. Zentradi are not good eating. 1459. No such thing as preemptive last rites. The ability to mimic other people's luck powers does not make me a karma c hameleon. a multi-melta is not the solution to all my problems. my paladin's flumph mount is as good as dead. Wizards do not have to save against carpal tunnel syndrome. My Bard will not take a trombone just so he can attack and use his bard so ng at the same time. that's cool. High recoil guns and roller skates are not an accepted method of transport ation. I will stop speaking only in met aphors. My Ally advantage and Arch Enemy flaw can't both represent the same person . 1432. Montaigne aren't required to surrender after the second turn. 1424. 1441. In case of premature termination. 1458. When the dwarf has an idea. Cannot summon an elemental out of any material that only exists in a labor atory environment. 1454. 1437. 1449. Eisenfurst Wishce didn't appreciate the lap dance. Even if I did manage to work all the lyrics to 22 Acacia Avenue in charact er in the game. 1448. Emergency supplies are not for childish pranks. Thelma and Louise not so much . 1425. I am not "He who must not be named only in passing. Can't start the game with echolocation. can't catch bullets with my pects. Even if the game is set in 1912. 1434. When the DM sobers up. The "Dibs" system is not a recognized method of promotion in the Ordo Mall eus. It is not a race to 0 SAN. 1457. 1445." 1427. 1453. If the party goes out like 300. Like a cow who goes to the well to often. 1444. not a kick in the kiwis. You can't find true names in a phone book. 1426. Lying about benefits being cut are not going make the guards too disgruntl ed to fight back later. the female characters get a vote on the p arty's action. logically and safely defeat the module early is doomed to failure. 1456. I will keep the fact the king's heraldry looks like a ferret in need of th e Heimlich Maneuver to myself. 1447. 1443. Using my prior knowledge of the adventure to force the game along while en couraged. 1439. If the top floor is too well defended. 1431. If I take a Buddhist monk I get lots of combat bonuses that I can't use wi thout violating my religion. Despite it's phenomenal success rate. 1442. 1436.1422. no making the "He's drunk" motion behind his b ack.
1497. 1499. 1484. 1478. doesn't mean I should drop a house on the witch. None of the Summon Animal spells will get me the drummer from the Muppets. Even if the rules allow it. Shooting him in the foot first does not give me a bonus to the ridicule ch eck. Cannot use the requisition skill to get a beach house in the Virgin island s. 1468.1460. 1466. more powerf ul dwarf. 1500. The party will not enter into a tontine. 1479. I will not convince the dragon to eat the elf instead because he's organic . 1471. 1470. reindeer and sniper rifle s. I will not take Resources 0 and Status 5 and just confiscate money as I ne ed it. 1463. 1489. Using the time machine to put 'W' at the front of the alphabet is silly. I can't add the trait "Randomly bursts into fla me" to my car. 1461. 1486. that just encourages the evil pla yers. No matter what the rules say. 1487. 1465. 1488. Even if I have a salient point. Even if the rules allow it. 1472. The concept of puberty is not alien to the elves. I must sing my kids to sleep before the black ops. I can't chase the villain around the map ind efinately. 1498. I will not sing other characters' kids to sleep before. even if Congress can. 1490. 1480. When I'm told to get an alias. 1485. they didn't mean that chick with the azure bonds. 1464. the hand puppets come off. I cannot take a sidekick if all he's gonna do is trail us with a high powe red rifle. I will not use the time machine to make "Don't blame me. 1469. When I'm out of character. I will not beco me the Nazi Nazi. 1477. There is more to stopping a zombie horde than punji pits. Burning Orb spell doesn't cause jock itch. I will not turn the DM into a drinking game. No amounts of dots in fashion will let me use my bio-varg for formal wear. Just because I can. Dropping a tree on the lich creates more rules problems that its worth. I will not just buy the ability to teleport everybody but me. 1475. I will not use the ventriloquism skill to deliver bad news to the Emperor. Will not break it to the other player her 3 1/2' elf is not taller than my 3'6" tall gnome. 1462. There is more to playing a Finn than cellphones. I won't call the Rush Limbaugh show in the middle of a Black Ops. Even if Detroit can do it. 1473. My sideburns cannot earn their own fear rating. 1482. I can't have alkaline for blood. 1474. Dwarves do not have the racial ability to merge into a larger. When playing a teleporter. 1476. 1492. 1467. 1495. I cannot convince the entire party to play Squats. No crossclassing just to get all the different animal sidekicks. 1491. can't fish with a flamethrower. My bard will not stop every passing minstrel for a round of Dueling Banjos . If I'm playing an alien. 1493. 1483. I will not insist on playing a LAM pilot just to see if the Robotech lawye rs were really serious. No metamagic feat lets me add fragmentation to my spells. 1496. I will not add the restriction "only to cook eggs" to any of my super powe rs. during or after th e black ops. I will buy the ability to actually teleport. 1481. I voted for Tilde n" bumper stickers. Even if historical accuracy is important in the adventure. The Island of Small Breasted Fantasy Females does not exist. 1494. can't add the High Speed Pursuit Option to a s teamroller.
My Sniper will not kill all the bad guys before the rest of the party is i n range. 1535. 1505. While not lethal. 1537. 1509. 1511. dismembering him with a shotgun is overkill. Can't lure out House Laio mechwarriors by announcing a Chinese Firedrill. The spell is called Prismatic Spray. The Movie Phone Guy can't be the voice of the ship's computer. It is not automatically assumed whatever vehicle my cop commandeers is a m onster truck. can't move the camp down the road. I don't have to have my monk oiled down . 1525. 1541.ally grown. 1526. 1531. 1508. 1521. 1517. No using the time machine to set the "Star Spangled Banner" to anything by White Zombie. 1514. There is no Patron Saint of the Dodecahedron. 1540. 1501. 1542. We are not sneaking in Mordor dressed as tour guides. 1515. Even if it does take the thief 10 minutes to search the room. 1519. My mage can't just sleepwalk to get around resting for spells. Even if the rules allow it. Can't use my pistols to communicate in Morse Code. 1527. 1533. 1523. I will not shoot a Great Old One just to say I did it. there's a problem . The Pope does not have cyberpsychosis. I will make it abundantly clear the guy playing my mortal enemy is a good friend in real life. 1504. it doesn't take 45 minutes to choke a 10th lev el fighter to death. Ferris Wheels aren't exactly healthy to vampires. 1503. Before we start the dungeon crawl. 1512. I will not take the mirror image spell literally and just shoot the wizard that's not left handed. Checking to see if the Mad Slasher is dead is ok. If its cheaper to buy a new gun than reload the old one. 1536. 1513. North Equatorial Kansas is not a real state. Stain glass windows are not a standard feature on Panzer tanks. There is no such thing as a Thirty-Sevensexual 1530. My first wish can't be to invalidate the previous character's last wish. 1520.000 rounds or just 39. 1534. 1524. I cannot take the parachute skill until somebody invents the parachute. 1522. I can't ask the bad guy if I fired 40. 1516. 1506. I will tell the noobs the storyteller wasn't joking about kicking people i n the jewels for macking on jailbait. My superhero didn't survive the purge of supers by just playing left offen . 1539. I will not waste critical successes on drumming. While highly effective. 1510. not Taste the Rainbow. 1528. can't have a belt fed pistol. When the power gamer sleeps. The spell Extract Water Elemental doesn't work on Water Elementals. I will not wish we were still playing Torg. Despite what the rules say.999. 1507. My Rogue Trader does not need to announce his arrival with eight hours of orbital bombardment. Nowhere in the timeline is Superfly McBoomboom a US vice president. We are not going through the phone book to see who's name is a killing wor d either. grabbing his a man by his small intestine and maki ng him talk like a ventriloquist dummy is frowned on. In the middle of a Black Ops I can't sell my niece's band candy to the hos tages. 1529. 1518. My canine officer can't spend his animal requisition cash to buy two dozen chihuahuas. 1502. 1532. Outside of Kingwood Community College moose antlers do not mean 'Out of Ch aracter'. No part of the Constitution is written in invisible ink. that's not e nough time for a quickie. 1538. I will raise my hand if I've already heard the the DM's riddle.
1581. 1556. 1585. The Progenitor's job is not just to supply 'the good stuff'. 1564. 1573. My warhammer doesn't have a claw part. It's not ok to stick the Syndicate agent with the check every single time. My Lunar Class Cruiser has more than one bathroom. 1557. We aren't calling the NWO agent at odd hours just to answer trivia questio . 1571. 1588. 1583. you can't sneak with a running chainsaw. No matter how appreciated. No matter how well I roll on my intimidate check. 1561. The Dirty Harry 'Feeling Lucky Punk' speech doesn't work with a longbow. The totalitarian government tends to notice large purchases of cows. I can't spend Ship Points to put a Starbucks on the bridge. 1549. 1574. No one in the party gets to name their character Kurgen McAsskicker. I need to stop telling new players bards were the original prestige class. I do not have weapon proficiency in Craftsman. Werewolves normally do not have access to the 'Sonnet' Specialization. Even if the rules allow it. No signing infernal contracts in disappearing ink. Dwarves have to take the platemail off before sex. the Shindig. Apaches do not settle arguments by Indian Leg Wrestling. My character is not addicted to the Feeling. Weapon codes mean Bludgeoning. 1580. 1547. 1584. Vegipygmies are not a part of this complete breakfast. 1558. 1579. 1544. Not Insane-o-Vision. can't take a prestige class at level 4. During the Black Ops all cell phones go on vibrate. Every time the halfing gets a critical hit I don't have to feed him a snac k. France won't surrender. 1554. 1577. 1568. 1550. There is no way the Iteration X mage is going to make it through airport s ecurity. 1576. 1567. 1559. 1587. 1552. I will not spend 30 minutes of the game trying to buy an accordion.sive guard for the Detroit Lions. Not possible to tattoo the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel anywhere on my bo dy. 1586. I do not have to scan the Romulan ambassador for cooties. Serra ted and Pneumatic. 1578. 1565. Any mention of Life Day gets everybody a dark side point. I can't wish my girlfriend was hot like you. 1566. 1570. I will not horde Electrum in 2nd edition because I know it will be phased out. Not Ballistic. The degauss gun is not a real gun. I will stop using crew as hit points. 1543. The opening lyrics to Rock of Ages are not an acceptable substitute to a r eal plan. 1555. 1582. 1545. 1560. No Dire Marmot mounts until they publish the rules. 1569. Superspeed gives immunity to friction. Attempting to woo the Space Elf Clown does not turn the adventure into a H arlequin romance. 1562. 1563. The Navigator has Warp Sight. Can't bluff the Empire at Hoth with just a whole bunch of snowmen. Bunk Cards are not for 3 card monte. I will tell the new player fantasy games means gnomes and wizards not assl ess chaps and jumper cables. I don't get to play anybody's Shadow. trebu chets and surveying gear. Shapechanging only into the '9 3 San Diego Padres is not. I have to have a better super power than 'cures cancer by touch' 1546. or Love. Slashing and Piercing. 1572. I will stop making up Space Marine Chapters. 1551. Not allowed to just blow the supports under Menzoberranzan. 1548. 1589. My netrunner's icon has to be something other than the Space Invaders ship . 1553. Even if the rules allow it. Shapechanging is an acceptable super power. 1575. Archvillains don't care about zoning restrictions.
ns. Even if she's the most dangerous. 1592. Flak armor is not just a muscle shirt with the word "ARMOR" stenciled on i t. 1614. When told to pick a number between 1 and 10. Devils don't appreciate natural 20's on a bargain check. Cephalopods do not get bonuses to attack Japanese women. . 1637. 'Dibs' is not a term of bereavement. 1600. 1625. 1617. 1620. I can't medal in ass kicking. Minesweeper is not one of them. I can't mount a flamethrower on a knife. I am not El Vago the Gay Blade. 1628. 1611. 1629. We will buy a GPS already so we don't have to drag the Void Engineer every where. time to tone it down a bit. Starships do not have to drop anchor. Any character even remotely resembling Mr. I will not use the druid's chakram to play frisbee with his dire wolf. If the GM says 3d6 straight down. 1602. Militech does not have a wedding registry. 1597. 1601. 1622. If it's revealed Shakespeare was the author of Funky Cold Medina my time m achine privileges are revoked. If the elf is rolling badly doesn't mean we need to water him. 1593. 1612. 1632. I can't have my men portage my frigate. 1606. 1613. 1590. 1618. Despite what the math says. No bioengineering dolphins to shot laser beams out of their blowholes. 1623. Starfleet's rules on using the Holodeck for recreating scenes from Caligul a are very clear. I cannot kill any man in a way made famous by Rutger Hauer. the party doesn't appreciate me killing the naked chick first. 1598. 1604. Verbena weigh more than a duck. 1599. I cannot have a bluetooth telegraph. 1630. 1603. 1636. he didn't mean it if that gives me a pix ie fairy berserker. I go last in initiative. There is no prize for having the prettiest werewolf. Even if she started it. B Natural is dead before the fi rst dice are rolled. No matter how much they enjoy it. it's time to reassess my alignment. a dracheneisen life preserver is a bad idea. 1596. 1621. They do not sell tire spikes at Kaybee Toys. I will not blow all my starting cash on just housecats. 1633. Even if the rules allow it. Even if the rules allow it. 1594. Druids have many roles in the party. no setting the princess on fire. 1616. Can't thwart the Cylon's massive attack just by installing Norton Antiviru s. 1605. There is no such thing as Boobs +1. If my fireballs always form a mushroom cloud. If my gun can easily kill everything in the room. I will not take the flaw Enemy: Paranoids. 1595. t ime to retire the character. elves do not gestate for an entire decade. no juggling halfling children. 1615. Getting a blue chip for humor does not entitle me to an acceptance speech. 1608. 1619. 1610. It is bad form to sing along with the elevator music in a Black Ops. Even if I am captain. I can't build myself an Imperator Titan. Rokea do not make pacman noises when they attack. No using the Reduce spell to only to buy a child's ticket at the movies. 1624. 1609. 1635. My character's favorite color is not Burnt Umber Hulk. I will stop telling the noob the Star Wars universe celebrates people expl oding at the age of 25. 1591. 1627. Animals native to Australia are not eligible for my druid's companion. If Plan A was 'Beat it out of him' Plan B can't be 'Just ask nicely' 1634. Despite what the rules say. 1631. the answer is not pi. If all the players have to pool there d6's so I can roll for initiative. We aren't raising the villain from the dead because we haven't killed him enough yet. 1626. If the Solar cringes. 1607.
1640. I cannot start the game radioactive. I will not forget to uncuff the pedophile from outside the car before driv ing back to the station. 1651. 1644. Despite precedent. Dungeons are not handicapped accessible. 1668. 1650. No using the halfling as a grappling hook. make sure the other players got my back. can't spend all my money on leathe r. No matter what the rules say. 1643. no machete killing sprees dressed like Carmen Miranda. I am not Wombatman. I can't free the cannibals' prisoners by starting a food fight with them. Cleaning out the dungeon means more than just backing up a cement truck to the window. 1674. No giving a character a dumb name so he can pick fights over it later. 1641. One more bad pun for a character name and I'm forbidden from playing in th e Furry RPG. When told to distract the bad guy they didn't mean by setting him on fire. 1652. Even if we just stole all their alkaline chemicals. 1663. A warning shot is not one that just wounds him. I need to pick a smaller gun. If if takes more than five minutes for the debris to stop falling. 1666. 1657. Starting a flame war not on t he internet is much. 1653. The words "Rock Opera" will not appear in any of my wishes. no cleaning up on t he lottery. Starting a flame war on the internet is bad. No starting a mosh pit in a leper colony.1638. 1648. If an enemy fails a stun check. my intelligent vorpal sword is not getting rewarde d with a candy bar. When told to distract the bad guy they didn't mean by shooting the guy sta nding next to him. No matter what it says. . that does not give me a free hit for flinc hing. 1675. 1642. I will not start dating another character's archenemy. 1669. Any character requiring the GM to tab more than 10 pages of rules for refe rence is vetoed. 1661. Other siege weapons not so much. whips and barbed wire. antibiotics can't make a man's head explode. Before I get it on with the green chick. 1665. My halberdier is not guisarmed and dangerous. we can't eat the bard. 1673. 1645. 1646. 1649. Using the dwarf as a battering ram is expected. Before entering the dungeon I will take off the "I'm with tasty -->" tabar d. My negamagician will not taunt the wage mage Brer Rabbit style. There is a limit to the number of adjectives I can attach to an uppercut. 1660. that does not mean all their base belongs to us. 1676. Before I sass the power gamer. Even if it fills the mission parameters. When told to distract the bad guy they didn't mean by playing Wham over th eir commlinks. 1639. I will remember the Incredible Luck super power is illegal in Vegas. I'll make sure she's supposed to be that color. 1662. The power gamer would appreciate me not bringing the book with the rule he is grotesquely abusing. 1667. 1658. 1671. 1654. There is no such thing as a 'bad touch attack' 1664. If my Rogue Trader manages to arrive before he leaves. Venting non-essential crew to the void before payday is not an acceptable cost cutting measure. 1677. No teaching halflings how to fly. 1670. Just because he has specialization in observation skills does not mean 'he likes to watch'. 1672. 1655. 1656. Even if we are playing in the old west. 1647. much worse. 1659. if the travel gets rough.
1689. 1719. No. 1696. Can't use the Decanter of Endless Water for water skiing. I don't get any XP for anything I killed in a flashback. 1710. It is not necessary for the villain to say 'Uncle' before I accept his sur render. Snufficate is not a real way to kill somebody. Andorrans are not closely related to smurfs. the Jacuzzi. If my boss wakes up to find a young Frank Sinatra won American Idol. 1716. 1682. The time machine is not for finding ringers for our baseball team. 1695.1678. Bison is not an appropriate stunt action. Buying the alternative identity advantage is perfectly legal. True Sight doesn't tell me what the NPC's treasure type is. 1686. Even if its really cool. Killing the orc horde by drowning them all at once is heroic. 1713. I don't have to name everything we discover after myself. 1702. Can't just wizard lock the villain's throne room and come back in two week s after he's starved to death. The Astromech appreciates it if we'd stop using him for ordinance delivery . No following a minute behind Gold Leader and just shooting down Vader. I will not spend all my starting cash on the stock market. Contrary to popular opinion. 1717. unless it's Elvis. 1715. Just because he starts every game in a tavern doesn't mean the Barbarian n eeds rehab. My martial artist has to actually know a martial art. I will raise my hand if my skill is the highest. Debauchery is not a stat. There is no Neurotic Book of Fantasy. can't play the Lone Ranger. The spell Summon Vacuum Elemental is not for household chores. or a wet tabard contest. Even if we're playing Werewolf: The Wild West. I don't get double XP if I kill the monster with explosive decompression. Les Paul is a guitar god. 1685. 1699. Even if the rules allow it. No bringing up the time we were nearly TPK'd by a jerboa. 1687. 1691. 1706. 1700. Dodge Everything While Standing Still is not a real spell. can't try to heal someone by cutting t hem. Can't clear out a dungeon by sneaking in and running a generator while the y sleep. No amount of character points lets me start as the Beatle's bagpiper. can't use Smaug's lair as a template. 1718. he can't grant spells. 1683. 1707. Can't take out the villain by just propping a bucket of acid over his door . 1692. Even if it's historically accurate. Lawful Good deities don't appreciate human sac rifices to them. 1693. Killing them by drowning them one at a time is an alignment check. 1701. no mo re time machine for me. Summon Para-Legal Elemental is not a real spell. Just crossing his fingers behind his back is not an option for my paladin. 1681. When asked to describe my room. Mooning M. 1679. Can't load the shotgun just with rock salt because I'm feeling mean. No making up euphemisms for death. 1680. 1688. In the middle of a black ops. 1712. 1697. 1708. 1711. . can't play 'will it bounce' with the penthou se furniture. 1705. Yes. 1704. 1720. 1714. I can't forge out a new Elven homeland by conquest unless the Elves want a new homeland. 1/3 of the elf homeland's GDP does not go to hair care products. the girdle of masculinity/femininity does hav e a noticeable effect on elves. Before anybody makes a demolitions check. 1703. 1698. The point of the Improvised Weapon Skill is not to see how many different things I can kill people with. 1709. 1690. no throwing dry ice on the water weird. 1694. 1684.
1763. My martial arts style is vetoed if its just thirty different ways to hit a guy in the jewels. I will lie about the result if I do it again. Calling my shot means 'Where I want to hit him' not 'Where I want him to l and. 1730. 1722. Can't one shot major villains just because the writers forgot to give them a basic defense.' 1756. 1746. 1749. can't have my own theme song. If I just rolled the same chart result 8 times in a row. Then setting hi m on fire is not. No hogging all the brute kills. "Come here often?" is not what you say when rescuing the princess from the necromancer's dungeon. 1728. No building a Gatling Gatling gun. We aren't continuing the mission until everybody is clear on the term "Goi ng in hardcore" 1735. If my character causes Camelot to look like King Lear he dies. No spending stunt points to play 'Yoink! Got your nose!' on a Genlock. 1760. hard partying muslim chick. Doesn't matter what I just killed with it. No putting all my weapon points in the blowgun. Suess has no place in an exorcism. 1764. 1752. Dousing a character in beer is acceptable after a victory. 1755. 1762. No taunting characters about what they lost in the latest errata. 1748. 1732. There was no conspiracy to keep Wales out of 7th Sea. 1727. 1759. it's vetoe d is she's clearly my Ex. 1743. 1753. Can't target microscopic organisms with spells. 1744. Even if my culture has no spoken language. 1725. 1733. 1726. No summoning octopi to make the sleeping paladin explain all the hickies. the campaign will not turn into a game of charades. 1750. When facing the classic weight balance trap. mercenaries don't help divorce proceedings. No risking profit factor to buy groceries. 1739. Even if the rules allow it. 1724. . Lord Soth just does not need a hug. Dr. Star Destroyers are already baby proofed. Can't name my rabbit familiar Watership. A barbarian is not just a fighter with less feats and more anger managemen t issues. The princess' menstral cycle doesn't factor into her rescue. time to retire the character. 1754. can't saddle break a L os Diablos. can't blackmail him with it later. Can't have a gun that doubles as a jump jet. There is no par on a dragon. 1740. 1731. 1729. can't use the halfling for ba llast. 1758. If the villain performs a kind act.1721. the howitzer is not going to qu alify for holy relic. 1736. 1734. Contrary to popular belief. 1761. No god's vestments include gogo boots. We aren't relocating the campaign to Texas or Florida for tax reasons. 1745. No challenging sleeping people to a duel. 1737. No matter how well I make my Animal Wrangling roll. If I take the blowgun. 1742. If I kill more goons with my rifle than the rest of the party without firi ng a shot. 1747. "Large things that hurt badly? is not an appropriate focus. Klingons don't have a French accent. The rules don't cover laugh tracks. 1738. 1723. not every woman in this campaign is a closet ed lesbian. I at least have to poison the darts. can't start a Vestenmannavnjar Dixie Land band . 1757. If my character is a hard drinking. 1741. Even if I write it. The minute the GM figures out my Inquisitor is Lennie Briscoe. 1751. Despite what the module says. he dies.
I don't have to be faster than the other investigators. 1776. 1793. 1784. 1777. Using nuclear weapons in assassinations is just being lazy. 1779. 1783. 1809. 1775. Getting the dwarf fixed isn't going to improve his disposition. No I can't Google the villain's secret weakness. can't pick Fire Ch . Can't use party members for ante. A comeliness under 15 doesn't mean I can't be on MTV. 1799. 1804. Just because I spared the villain's life doesn't mean she owes me a first date. 1778. 1795. Even if I buy enough for everybody. 1768. the actual band. My monk can't convince the bad guys to go streaking with him just so they' re easy to beat up later. If my actions singlehandedly put the Drow on the endangered species list. 1800. No using EHarmony to find a cleric for the party. 1769. The halfling language is not just baby speak. The epic villain killing weapon requires a quest to obtain. 1787. Battle Mauls can't double as coup sticks. I will stop telling people my high elf is just a drow with a bad case of v itiligo. If I get to pick my position in a star spanning empire. 1782. Not possible to corner the market on weapons they don't have rules for yet . 1805. I will not point out any loophole that arouses the powergamer. Not their music . No using goldfish as improvised weapons just to get the dual weapon bonus. Albanians do not count as furries. 1772. can't kill time with s olitaire. 1788. 1781. 1786. time to retire the character. 1774. 1785. I don't have to buy a child seat to take the halfling anywhere. 1789.1765. At least not literally. Even if it takes an hour before it's my turn again. Some grizzfarb says I have to stop making up gnomish profanities. I can't disarm the monk. No using the friendship virtue to start a harem. 1767. Doesn't matter what the map says. I will remember we're playing 4th edition and stop using my imagination. No starting a character with 4 swordsman schools. Can't find the villain just by casting power word stun in the bar and see who's still standing. 1797. Can't convince to party to play Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Even if the rules allow it. 1792. I can't play an anthropomorphic homo sapiens. I won't mention a celebrity that causes another gamer to go all stalker. 1806. 1766. Can't use a wish spell to make the last Star Wars trilogy not suck. Can't make the genie's head explode until everybody else has had their wis h. They have to be fa ster than my bullets. Even if my CO does it. not $35 at Pru ett's Guns and Ammo. 1790. 1770. 1803. snuggies alone will not raise crew mor ale. Distracting the bad guy does not mean with an aztec bar mitzvah. 1794. make sure the game isn't set in a landl ocked nation. S orry in advance Jeannie Mai. Can't start every game breaking out of jail. a unitard is not an appropriate SAS uniform. Let's keep the collateral damage to under a billion dollars. 1801. 1773. can't drive a sports car through the vil lain's lair. can't make the challenge 1970's NBA trivia. Leave off the Chaotic Evil alignment on the teaching application. I can't have a saber toothed walrus. 1791. 1780. Before we start a band of pirates. Beatlemania is not an acceptable dementia. When challenged for rank. 1798. 1796. They don't make weapon grade schnauzers. 1771. 1802. They don't make healing potions in diet. 1808. 1807.
bowling alley. Deer Season is restricted to rifle or bow. 1816. A talking animal sidekick is okay. 1818. 1819. The Druid doesn't have to change sides every time the tide changes. 1848. my ork can't have a space surfboard. 1844. 1811. No using ventriloquism to trick the Khorne Berzerkers into slaughtering ea ch other. make sure he's clear on the spel ling. Doesn't matter what I rolled. No result on the Impact Critical F chart reduces a foe to base elemental c omponents. 1820. Even if the rules allow it. 1813. no spending requis ition on condiments. 1815. Not greco-roman. 1826. Let's not see how far I can lower crew morale before the game begins. My battlecruiser does not inclue a discotheque. 1823. 1836. 1822. 1842. Even if the rules say otherwise. 1831. 1825. Strapping dynamite to an arrow is an acceptable cliche. taking out a child molester with extreme prejudi ce doesn't restore my humanity. 1828. If the Ork makes his check to solve higher mathematics. 'Getting Uppity' is not a capital offense. coat my food with cyanide. 1830. Despite what you'd think. 1833. a huge back banner with an arrow pointing down at me causes a penalty to stealth checks. One that sings Disney tunes is roadkill . Before we have the bard loot the dungeon. 1845. 1847. even if it's easier to jus t rip it off its hinges. Can't have a gun capable of using other PC's as ammo. No taking Peace Activists as favored enemies just because they are easy ta rgets. Drunken Master is a feared martial artist. 1839. Even if the rules say otherwise. 1840. the Soviet National Anthem doesn't qualify for the inspirational music ability. 1837. Not the whole keg of gunpowder. Remember to take the helmet off before I use the acid spit ability. Slapping a fake mustache on the freeboota doesn't count as a disguise chec k. A Drunken Journeyman is not any 5th level dwarf. Even to a Rogue Trader. I will use the security skill to open the door. 1838. 1829. No starting Fight Club. or st rip joint. and see who's been stealing my lunch from the fridge. Not using any emission from the barbarian as flamethrower fuel. 1835. 1843. 1817. Star Destroyers don't have help desks. 1824. Even if the rules allow it. 1846. 1810. 1812. Doesn't matter if I get bonuses for eating fallen foes. his head doesn't e xplode. If we're short on cash no starting a telethon. 1827. Darth Vader does not need his air filter changed. No picking a sorcery that is actually unplayable as written. that doesn't include East Ge rman swimmers named Sergi. Can't make a bluff check to convince the monster I actually hit him. Can't take poison immunity. 1841. sweet love' 1814. 1834. When told to play a teenage high school girl. My troll's biography will not include the phrase 'sweet. Can't target the starship's radiator. 1821. You can't suplex a lictor. Can't lure ninjas out of hiding with a game of Marco Polo. Can't land the drop pod on the villain. IMAX.ief. can't be on good terms with an organization sw orn to destroy me. 1832. . I won't ask how a 9' combat monster with no concept of subtlety starts wit h a +1D in stealth. I can't actually use 500 grenades in a si ngle mission.
Elves are not piercing weapons by default. 1870. 1877. 1864. Considering we don't have a TARDIS or a bag of holding. If I use the leap skill to individually jump over every goon in the room. even if it would ha ve immediately solved the last four adventures instantly. 1886. TSR is not hiding Golden Tickets in Mystara Gazetteers. 1855. 1850. There is too an elven word for monogamy. 1872. it doesn't stand for trouble. 1865. The answer to 'how to spell sousaphone' is V-E-T-O. even if I brought enough for th e entire Space Marine Chapter. can't play a serious stra ight laced character. Slapping a meltabomb on the Emperor's Children marine and putting his resu lting efforts to get it off on Youtube gets me a Corruption Point. can't start a forced breeding program. Afros are not acceptable haircuts for Adeptus Astartes. No shooting the Quarren at the start of the adventure. 1883. 1854. If I'm invited to play a one shot with a new DM. 1866. 1880. Even if the rules allow it. 1860. No tricking the techpriest into dividing by zero. I will stop asking the high elf for a hit. Elves are not all backstabbing. 1888. I will refer to the radar contact as a Blitzer-72 MBT. and not as a TPK in a can. even if it is accurate. My Rogue Trader doesn't have spend Requisition Points on feminine hygiene . 1873. Even if paladin starts with P and that rhymes with T. my marine can't requisition a rolex. 1874. I can't hip shoot a cannon. I will stop asking the Ultramarine why his chapter's primary color isn't u ltramarine. No challenging Death to a game of Tic-Tac-Toe until he gets bored and quit s. Even if elves are a dying race. 1869. 1863. Even if the rules allow it. The monk counts as adamantine when attacking. 1871. 1867. I will stop telling the new players gnomes came from Sverfneblia. Stormtroopers will only fall for the broken comlink trick so many times. 1890. Before I make the seduction check. 1851. Can't use woodchippers as shotguns against vampires. 1858. 1862. 1889. 1885. My Rogue Trader can't upgrade his ship with a ice rink. 1868. 1853. 1876. my fighter can't carry a clan of halfings in h is pack without penalty. but you never hear about a dark gnome do you? 1879. Even if the rules allow it. 1875. 1857. not when being used as a bat tering ram. untrustworthy weasels. can't recruit the deer to replace him. duck blind or vomi tarium. 1882. Using a barber's razor as a weapon does not make me a barbarian. we can stop specul ating on how they would interact. Can't take a favored enemy I can't kill for another ten levels. can't have a poisonous lascannon. Can't have a gun that reduces people to Rorschach tests. No wasting Music Man references on a 10th grader. The halfling's natural enemy is not the pedophile. 1861. I can't chew gum during chapter briefings. I will reread the description of the sw inging knack. Can't trick the GM into starting a conversation between the Doctor and Ins pector Columbo. If a PC gets taken out by a deer.1849. 1887. Even if the rules allow it. Playing the Who doesn't give me a bonus to forensic checks. when I reach the other side I can't demand to be made royalty. 1878. 1884. There is also an elven word for heterosexual. Summary Execution Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero. No unloading all my remaining ammo in the last bad guy so I don't have to carry it back with me. 1856. You can't count coup with power weapons. ensuring my immortality. 1852. 1881. 1859.
Even if the rules allow it. not with crossword puzzles. In the middle of a Black Ops can't run up the target's cable bill by order ing PPV movies on his TV. Can't take Speaks in Third person quirk just so I can use the lyrics to Ba ttery as an attack plan. 1924. 1922. Can't postdate a letter of marque. 1925. Can't abuse the boggan's weakness to get free babysitting. as long as it's not that hard" is not a real superpower. 1891. 1931. Pennsylvania. No using the time machine to give Nostradamus a sneak peak at the future. I don't need to know the melting point of orcs. No more surprise parties for the berserker. 1894. 1899. 1901. No hiring Anakin Skywalker some Twilek hookers.com and letting the stalkers do my work for me. blue eyes and are proud of their physical pe rfection. I will ask permission before performing an autopsy in another character's hideout. 1909. "The ability to do anything. No ruining the game by informing the DM the Yellow Power Ranger is dead. No matter what the module says. 1921. 1929. 1927. No mounting my rival's anti-gravity plating on his ceiling. Despite what the rules say. 1900. Cheese Grater. Assist Other actions helps in combat. leg hump. The wizard's familiar does not have to save vs. Ayn Rand has no affect on my alignment.products. Even if my Jedi has a Scottish accent. Can't filibuster other characters. No matter what the rules say. Playing a Gamorrian doesn't violate anybody's religion. 1898. 1897. 1905. "Shakedown" is not a art skill specialty. No part of the elven cloak is actually made out of elves. Prepping for the adventure means memorizing spells and buying gear. 1903. my psychotic racist character doesn't get a permanent persuasion bonus just because she puts out. 1911. Nobody is going to buy the disguised wookie as a jawa with a pituitary pro blems. Electrokinetics are not allowed anywhere near the President's teleprompter . 1923. 1933. . Verbena are not water soluble. 1917. 1912. Can't disguise a nuclear bomb to look like me. 1908. can't have a plaid lightsaber. I will stop telling people the elf is openly fey. No putting the villain's fake bio on Match. 1920. MkVI armor's drawback is not random chicken noises. Combat boots don't give bonuses to CPR checks. 1893. The target's current zip code has no bearing on my called shot. The Escaped Fugitive background doesn't include from Disney Teen Musicals 1896. The following are not acceptable specialties for a weapon master: Mustard Gas. Dreadnoughts don't get conjugal visits. sniper scopes don't give bonuses to shotguns. DM's don't appreciate being dubbed. Again. Even if the rules allow it. I can't one shot guys with a feather duster. No nailing the GM's girlfriend's character. 1913. 1892. 1904. 1915. 1930. shooting other PC's in the head does not impro ve morale. Even if they have blond hair. Sardonicism. slaughtered and dissected scientists cause more san loss than frozen dogs. 1916. Can't air hump the king from behind while he's performing demagoguery. Aasimir don't appreciate Seig Heils. 1907. 1902. not co ming up with a safety word. 1910. 1895. thus removing his reason t o become Vader. 1932. 1918. 1914. 1928. There is no needing for a dark brooding vigilante of the night in Lancaste r. 1919. 1906. 1926.
1972. Swedish accents are great for vikings. 1942. I will keep all eldritch artifacts of ungodly power out of the reach of ch ildren. I can't put him in checkma te. especially with another PC. Can't distract the villain by sending him a text. 1946. Even if the rules allow it. 1940. Not allowed to start the campaign having sex. we will reselect the source books again with our eyes open. 1970. can't parry an artillery barrage with my fists . Even if there is there is no naming convention given. No talking Hastur into suing Voldemort for trademark infringement. Can't send the party out on an epic quest just to get some alone time with the missus. 1950. 1963.1934. No prisoner gets special treatment. If we end up playing Illuminated martial artist superheros protecting the Mad Lands from the Chtorr. 1949. No improvising. A Shemsu-Heru kamikaze pilot is funny once. No probating Dunkelzahn's will. 1945. You don't have to be lawful evil to be sentenced to Devil's Island. Can't use the international date line to get around once per day restricti ons. 1941. 1935. that includes beating him against the dwarf. When the game designer asks me my opinion about the new edition of his gam e. No tagging the sleeping dragon with "Bilbo was here". Not my fault if you can defeat the labyrinth by just making right turns. 1936. 1962. 1967. winging or fabricating funeral rites. even if it would hav e avoided the last six ambushes. Even if the King is represented by a miniature. Even If I need to practice it. 1960. Blasting the distress signal from orbit is forbidden. 1955. There is no way to diplomatically ask the Gaius if he's going to finish th at sandwich. despite what the dice say. can't play a viking mad scientist. A lifetime subscription to Cosmo is not an elven racial bonus. 1957. 1966. 1947. 1965. I will not attempt to gnomeoform Faerun. 1968. 1943. 1959. No spending more points than the villain to make his assistant more loyal to me. Breaking the fourth wall doesn't require a strength check. Even if the rules allow it. 1956. There is more combat than a called shot to the face with a double barrel. 1961. Giving my media the paparazzi template does not actually cause humanity lo ss. 1938. Qunari aren't automatically angered by the color red. 1954. I lose the Russian a ccent. 1964. Tal Vashoth are prob ably not named Larry. 1974. 1951. even if he does look like Robert Goule t. 1973. Having an electrotech in the party doesn't mean I get to leave my phone ch arger at home. 1953. 1939. 1971. If I can't use the dwarf to beat a guy to death. Can't free the hostage with a surprise game of Red Rover. I will quit pestering the techpriest on whether he's AC or DC. open weeping is not appreciated. 1952. 1937. No using the time machine to make Christ the keynote speaker at an atheist convention. you don't have to be a 19th level bard to play . 1944. 1958. ninjas not so much. Despite what the rules say. 1948. if I'm playing Batman. Can't use teleport to convince the villain's henchmen he's seeing things. There is no bluff check in the world that gets around divine retribution. Dwarven breast milk is not 180 proof. It's not possible to become addicted to healing spells. I will not use the commune spell to find out who is John Galt. 1969.
2013. Even if we crashed the opening of the last eight adventures. If I managed to roll up a half ogre knight errant on 3d6 straight down. 1983. After the battle my Astartes is to spend his time training and in meditati on. In the middle of a black ops I don't have time to set all the target's ph . Better believe if I berserk for two straight hours I'm going to feel it in the morning. can't use her for cover. 2001. 1995. 2007. The wookie isn't allowed anywhere near conditioner. Squeezing a termagaunt like bagpipes isn't going to turn him into a machin e gun. Any gun who's damage is best described in scientific notation is vetoed. Even if we douse him with hot water. 1975. 1988. No using the weapon critical hit charts to play bingo. 1997. 2003. 1987. No flashbacks to the death of the disposable expository NPC at the start of the adventure. 2009. Can't fly standing up. 1981. 1994.Alice's Restaurant Massacre. 1979. 1985. more scre en time and a more memorable death. 1999. Waterdeep or Blackmoor. No taunting Darth Maul with the fact Uncle Owen had more lines. 2000. not from the sha ttered eardrums of the breaching charge. Can't just program the probe droid to go to light speed through the Star Destroyer. 1977. Medium Well is not a phaser setting. 2005. Just because I took the large advantage does not let me rampage through T okyo at will. I will make sure when the GM asks what my fetish is if he means voodoo ba g or brunettes with short hair. 1996. 1980. Can't convince the entire pantheon to all take spiders as their fourth do main. 1990. can't just go around exploding everyo ne. The surprise in the surprise attack comes from its speed. not choreographing Gilbert and Sullivan numbers. 2006. Apothecaries can't perform emergency skullectomies. The identify spell doesn't work on mystery meat. 1984. 2014. Can't set the Death Star to stun. The evil twin flaw doesn't count if he's fraternal. There is no instant replay in Hackmaster. The proper response after making a very tough bluff check is not a TD danc e. 1998. The University of Wisconsin does not have branches in Lankhmar. A Saber tooth tiger is not an acceptable second in a duel. 2012. No wrecking the Millennium Falcon in the prologue. 2010. If the GM's pet NPC has tons of plot armor. Improved tax evasion is not a real feat. 1978. 1989. 1976. No result on the critical hit chart splits the atom. There is no easy way to tell a guy he named his genetically engineered ub er space Mongolian after Genghis Khan's wife. 1982. When asked to be the party tank. Even if it's the coolest spell ever. 1986. Naming the half ogre Sir Loin of Beef is gloating. 2004. The druid can't transform into a sports car. 1993. 2008. no gloating. 2011. A paladin of the god of obituaries job is not to just kick butt and take n ames. 1991. 2002. Despite what the dice just said. If any player ends up in lingerie. still have to name our new starship. 1992. No spending money from the Raise Dead fund on ice cream. they didn't mean an Abrams. Torpedo spheres don't just go off on accident. I'm not the personal god of Michael Phelp 's agent. the game is over.
2021. I will refrain from any activity that could turn the entire party into sm oking piles of lederhosen. 2028. 2036. I will not spend all my character advances o n just liberal arts degrees. all my characters die. Stud. 2042. Despite how practical it would be. a called shot to the eyes with a sledgehammer isn't very practical. 2046. 2022. If I'm not allowed to go back in time to kill the villain. Dwarven ale does not double as jet fuel. I can't conduct a television interview and ma intain a choke hold at the same time. the Cone of Cold spell is not for making tobogg an rides possible in August. 2016. not wife beaters and speedos. 2039. There are no additional bonuses to guessing the right card if we're playi ng Go Fish with a Deck of Many Things. I will remember Captain Reis has the "Immunity: NPCs with no name" advant age. 2015. made no sense to me either. No secretly setting the Netrunner's modem interface to 8 bit. we don't need to change him. 2034. Even if used correctly. 2035. If I knock out Ryu while I'm blocking. 2017. 2029. I can't order 1500 pizzas to be delivered t o the target the next day. Any attempt to breed Bearowls is doomed to failure. 2045. 2018. The very thought of improving my humanity by osmosis costs humanity. Can't spend all my starting points to build a Renaissance version of Las Vegas. 2032. There is only one mounting option for Mr. it's a bad idea to dunk on Vader. In the middle of a black ops. Not just in this game either. 2024. Boernings fully understand the concept of personal space. There is no such thing as a shotgun exterminatus. my superhero needs something more than just a gun t hat fires badgers at people. branding irons do not count as non-lethal weapons . No matter how pissed off the Verbena makes me. Even if the kids love it. This is not optional. Spending my Rank 4 instead of Rank 5 priority on human does not make me m ore human than human. Elves do not get a racial bonus to the skill Trade: Interior Design 2031. No matter how many times it's already been retconned.one handsets to maximum volume. I can't just b ring him to the present as a child either. I have no need for a dracheneisen tuba . Even if the elf fails his willpower check. 2033. Characters with the curious disadvantage are not acceptable substitutions for the Identify spell. 2047. Even if it's a friendly pick up game. . 2020. 2019. I can't change the story of the origins of the Sith every time we play. 2025. While extremely cool. 2026. 2043. 2030. Yeah. 2027. 2049. 2050. No scanning the periodical table for an unused element to base my superhe ro around. Off duty Astartes wear robes. Even if the rules allow it. industrial solvent or colic medi cine. I will not try to bring back nipples as a superhero fashion statement. 2040. If I ever trick the DM into telling us the only way to make money mining is to work the shaft. 2051. Can't use the bureaucracy skill to indefinitely delay a rival going throu gh customs. Even if the rules allow it. 2041. 2023. 2044. DM's don't appreciate the Socratic method. Using my runic powers to provide a light show for my skald's musical perf ormances is abusing Grumfather's gift. 2048. Darth Harmonious is not a real Sith Lord. 2038. I can't put her on Glenn B eck's mailing list. it's time to retire the character. Cylons don't have a four year life span. 2037. If World War III is looming.
Even if I no longer lose SAN around them. 2060. can't do it long hand in protest. . Snipers don't appreciate their spotter yelling out "BOOM HEADSHOT!" 2067. West Virginians do not make the best Mytho s Investigators. I will stop at "Molly Ringwald Man" 2061. No uploading to the villian's electrotat the video of me shooting him. 2074. my PC dies. 2088.2052. Qunari don't take smiling damage. can't garrote a hydra. 2085. Or any body else for that matter. Just because the DM prefers D&D to alone time with a smoking hot fiance d oesn't mean the party gets to question his gender preference. Ask me if I freaking care. During the Time of Troubles can't forward my prayers to another god. 2083. I will try to keep the number of pages the GM rips out of his playtest bin der to a minimum. 2065. 2082. they don't mean a gun that fires howitzers. 2059. an interrogation is not 'k inetic information retrieval'. even if every rogue in the world does it to our wiza rd. When describing my superhero. I will not give into temptation when presented with a decanter of endless water and an opening to the underdark. Wichita Falls. we can't all play Ogryn warcasters. 2053. our party has to be more than a wizard and 5 pi kemen. The Bohemian Earspoon is not an appropriate weapon for a paladin. can't play a space otter to gain cute points. 2086. If I have to buy a second warehouse to store all my spare magic weapons. No explaining battle plans to the tune of a Jerry Reed song. even if we do undertake an engineering project that dwarfs the Hoover Dam. Note to self: Pinata golems are a bad idea. 'Fifty Shades of Grey Dwarves' is not the new Duergar sourcebook. 2072. Antman and Spiderman. 2063. 2084. 2077. 2062. Despite Hawkman. The wish spell can't affect the order of the alphabet. Even if the Corporation prefers PC terminology. Power Word Sarcasm is not a real spell. 2056. 2078.117 to get another stat. Just because I can. no domesticating nightgaunts. 2075. If the rules require me to multiply several stats by 10. No matter how successful. 'Horn Dog' is not a real Dwarven caste. If I abandon the game for alone time with my fiance. Can't stealthfully follow the villainous wizard and backstab his every tim e he tries to cast a spell. 2080. No matter what experience say. Batman. 2068. not "Detect Piercings". 2081. 2070. The following are not acceptable favored enemies: Torries. My druid will stop insisting we place all expended magic items in the appr opriate recycling bin. Can't have a gun that can inflict lethal damage with just the bullet's win dshear. 2057. 2073. 2064. Even if I have enough rope and have nine attacks a round. 2055. The spell is "Heat Metal". doesn't mean I have to land my Veritech like Ironman o n the deck of the carrier every single time. 2071. 2069. Cartoon Charact ers. Even if I buy off the Nemesis disadvantage doesn't mean we can't still be enemies. 2087. Red Snapperman is not a leg itimate superhero name. I will tell the DM before he spe nds 30 minutes rearranging letters. 2076. 2058. If the GM is a woman. My Legionaire can't spend resources on a 16 ton weight he can drop on peo ple with his mind later. time to retire the character. If I'm commissioned to build an artillery gun. 2079. We can't steal all the treasure from the giant magical scales. 2054. Even if the rules might allow them. If my character's name is not an anagram. 2066.
2123. 2098. The Ogrun language does not sound like the Ewok victory song. Even if I took it with me with the full intention of using it. Trollkin cannot puff out their chins like frogs. 2105. 2113. 2094. 2118. 2096. We aren't looking at the various kingdoms' tax rates before deciding wher e to dungeon crawl. halflings don't have to save vs. 2115. 2097. so I can stop tryi ng to hide from the elf by smearing myself with mud.2089. 2099. 2100. 2120. Infravision no longer works like thermographic vision. 2124. 2122. 2101. 2112. Before entering Denerim we don't have to delouse the Dalish. The reason elves live in forests is not to protect them from eagles that swoop down and grab them up. Tharn aren't allowed to take cooking skills. Even if he is Lawful Evil. 2117. Warjacks do not prefer bacon favored coal. . I can't burke the bad guy. 2109. No matter how close to lunch is it. Liechtenstein has no need for weapons of mass destruction. 2121. I can't saddle break: A dire troll. the villain isn't going to respond to a jury s ummons. Can't just target the villain's star fighter. Elves also do not secrete a foul tasting oil when threatened. Doesn't matter if he is a Son of Bragg. One does not just 'whip up' a priestess of Loviator. I will not buy skills for weapons that don't exist yet. Since they don't participate in the Olympics. 2102. 2107. Even if it is a real way to kill somebody. 2091. They don't make civilian models of chain guns. a manhole cover counts as an improvised weapon. or the Butcher. 2116. 2111. "Hey Baby" is not a Trollkin mati ng call. 2125. No more arguing over whether my Ogrun looks more like Fabio or Lorenzo La mas. 2090. No matter how big these sewers seem to be. 2093. I will not make any plan that hinges on the medicinal value of dire womba ts. a Kodiak warjack. 2092. 2103. Grenadeapalooza. Can't trick the time travelling bad guy into a shoot out with his past se lf. 2095. 2119. I can't clear out a dungeon by just throwning a ball down the entrance an d telling the Nomad warjack to fetch. There are more uses to ninjitsu than just dodgin process servers. 2106. You can't crank start a warjack. Khadorians primary weakness is not temperate weather. 2108. Elves do not squirt ink out of their nipples as a defense mechanism. Vecna was not the inventor of the organ donor card. 2114. Satyxis can't be disk jockeys. The Killit Festival. we aren't finding a Shipley's Donuts down here. cann ibalism. Even if I have the model for her. Can't trick the dragon into swallowing a shrunken dire porcupine and then ending the spell while he swallows. 2110. Just because the Nyss decided to become a fire sorceror doesn't mean she hates her parents. No regifting cursed items on Christmas. The following are not real Cyberpunk festivals: Night City Comiccon. The DM will notice if the entire party is named after the Houston Texans offensive line. I can stop writing R'lyeh's national anthem. 2104. even if it's the only one o f its type in the battle.
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