Bagongon, Christian K February 9, 2009 RS 20 – EDB “My Experience of Death”

Life for me is so bad… everything had gone wrong. But I would not say I am the most unfortunate person in the whole universe since I still have my parents which are the source of my being. There were many things had happened in my life which I consider those (I would not mention all because it will take at least 100 pages) as bad experiences. Those experiences were really ultimate and very life disgusting events that I would say I am already dead. It is still fresh in my mind the saddest experience that I had when I was still 4 years of age. That was the time when I and my little brother as well as my parents were being ejected in our own house. My mother was the only girl among the seven seedlings that my grand parents had. When both of my grand parents died, all left money and things were being divided among the seven siblings but only my mother do not have even a single five centavo coin. My little brother was so sick during that time and we do not have money to admit my brother in a decent hospital. No one even my uncles helped us. My father don’t have job also with my mother and I am still a little boy with an innocent mind. But even that was the problem, my mother never loosed hope and she tried all decent means just to let her children eat three times a day. She never cried because as she said, “we still have hope while we are breathing here in this seemingly miserable world of agony”. Things tear apart and the heaven closed for us when my younger brother died because of dehydration. Only one thing that we could do at that very moment was to cry for the death of my little angel brother because only God can bring back the smile and laugh of my brother. Everything could be bear but not anymore the lost of my brother’s

smile when I put my nose at his little arms, the laugh when my parents tickled and the life of an innocent baby. There were only two among my six uncles who had the dare to look at the white cold face of my younger brother at the burial but none of them ever said sorry for I guess they haven’t acknowledges their mistakes. There were only few of our relatives who felt the same pain of loosing a special some one because we were poorer than the rat at that time. Those experiences that I had undergone were not incidents that would cause physical death but a death on my desires and perseverance to continue to live. There were failures in my life that causes trauma to me and I thought I could no longer hold on. There were moments in my life which I tried to suicide honestly but luckily I am still alive. There were nights which I could not sleep and all that I did on those nights was to think of solutions. I did many plan A’s , B’s, C’s…Z’s until I give up because it was I thought the dead end and the end of my mental capacity to think of ways to which I can surpass my burdens in life. Truly life is so painful but difficult times in my life have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever... Failures and problems in life are the mankind’s most ignored resources because we thought it’s the end of everything but we do not realize that through these failures and problems we could start to build a new chapter in our life. Failures and problems could be the source of our strength because it reminds us that their is the ever living God who will listen even you only whisper it to the air. He seems to be unknown but He is watching to us whenever and wherever we go.

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