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Re-careering: Baby Boomers‟ Encore
MAED . 2012 Deanna L. Kretchmer.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 2 Cheryl Katherine Wash November 26.
superior. it can be confusing with logic twists. Unfortunately. Shorter sentences are easier to comprehend] The perfect career based on my collection of Hollywood favorites for those blessed to live hundreds of years would be a vampire. It has too many meanings: huge. etc. as appealing as the modern day vampires are in films such as. my) in academic writing unless writing about a personal experience. or long lists. [Writing suggestion: If this sentence is as long as 50 or more words. I [Avoid use of the first person (I. "when it comes to" often can be reduced to simply "concerning" ] superpowers in the dawn or the near approaching twilight of my present human life which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or . It is informally used as a verb (impacting the business). Cut it into shorter sentences featuring one idea. Use a more specific adjective] topics for an individual project and I decided to go with what was true. [Remove comma after "such as" (one may be placed before this phrase but not after it)] „Twilight‟. First person use may be allowed by the instructor. too frequently seen.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 3 Re-careering: Baby Boomers‟ Encore As an adult student pursing a master‟s degree in adult education and corporate training. ] had an option to select from a few great [Writing suggestion: "great" is an overworked word. if this is a series. recursions. place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] near to my heart and that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] learning more about reinventing careers because this impacts [Doctoral rule (although good advice for any academic writer): "impact" is a noun (a hit). but avoid this in academic writing ] me as well as a huge baby boomer [Capitalize this term] population re-careering is the future. dear and [in academic writing. me. and too vague. numerous. I show no signs of possessing anything remotely vampire-like when it comes to [Writing suggestion--Since "it" is undefined.
RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 4 place a comma before "which")] means I need a back-up [Misspelling: this is not hyphenated." or "genuine" is slang). etc." "experiencing. do not back up too far." "many. 1966." "fewer than. It is "back up" as a verb (we backed up the car. It‟s [A contraction ending in "s" (meaning "is") is inappropriate in academic writing--write out "It is"] [A contraction ending in "s" (meaning "is") is inappropriate in academic writing--write it out] [Contractions are inappropriate in college writing. replace it with a more expressive word] older people when I start to learn more about them I thought myself to be one until I missed being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being")." simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] an official part of the baby-boom generation because baby boomers [Capitalize this term] are those born between 1946 and 1964. Therefore." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending." "fewer.)] [These two words are spelled as one word] plan or an alternative as I am an aging adult in the mist of reinventing myself." "very. it means "existing. the word "Being" is hard to imagine." and so on] old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed-- . I am “almost „baby-boomer” or a “wanna-be baby boomer!” I was born September 15. it is "backup" if you mean the noun (he is my backup. we ran a backup.” I thought they were really [Writing suggestion--"real" or "really" means "existing in actuality"--it adds little to the meaning (and using it to mean "big. [Sentence too long] When I first heard and read about “baby-boomers." "living.)." Try words like "number of." "working. spell out "it is" (or "it has")] the last quarter of 2012 and I am 46 years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] and cannot image living less than 200 years ["years" is a countable noun. so remove "less than . etc." "not as many.
instead of "now." If the time or date is important. I started when I was nineteen [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] years old. too (he or she) and perhaps require adjusting the following verb] may find themselves [Check pronoun agreement--if "themselves" refers to "person" (or a singular subject)." use "then"] Verizon for over twenty-years. it should be singular. passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Prefer the active voice. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time. "now" is ambiguous--do you mean at the time you were writing? When was that? If you mean "as of the present time" (Hawaii is now a state). you can leave out "now. it should be singular. [Leave out author's initials in the in-text citation] S. Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. W. For example. See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] to remain in the work force [Check spelling--"workforce" is one word] longer and live longer than previous generations. Because this is being read some time after you wrote it. 1996).' You may start a second career. fill it in. too (him or herself)] changing careers more than once and much later in life than people in past generations. they [Check pronoun agreement--if "they" refers to "a person" (or a singular subject). [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] I was fortunate to have worked my way up to Global Accounts . I worked for MCIWorldcom now ["Now" is a difficult word.” according to (Myers. launch a business or live a longer. If a person plans on living or have the longevity to live a few centuries. “Chances are your retirement will look nothing like your parents.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 5 the meaning will be the same] because people are expected [The passive voice is a form of "be" (are) and a participle (expected). healthier lifestyle. If the essay is in the past tense.
In addition to watching to change courses to seek my life‟s purpose. After leaving a high-paid so called. Lower wages are part of the tradeoff for older workers who took new jobs. not in academic writing] irate clients that [Check word usage--If this word refers to a human being. my choices were well worth it because I found it more rewarding to pursue your [second person] dreams and passion over chasing money. I did not realize how stressed I was until I left my corporate job. my disabilities become more challenging to manage and difficult projects and or ["and or" is an awkward construction. The median hourly wage (in 2007 dollars) dropped to $10. When you [second person] are an aging adult and trying to seek new employee working for someone or yourself you will find new challenges in securing respectable pay for your years of experience and knowledge. In the research reported by According to Community Banker (2009). Among men.86 in the old jobs. 28. Employer-sponsored pensions covered 19. Looking back. I found it challenging to give up the financial security to become an entrepreneur.6--of self-employed. according to a new study by AARP's Public Policy Institute. According to Community Banker (2009) “Less stress and more flexibility are two of the top priorities for older workers and retirees who opt to switch jobs or "recareer" even if they will take pay cuts and give up benefits and managerial responsibilities.705 workers began in 1992 when the workers were ages 51 to 55. The 14-year study of 1.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 6 when I decided to leave and pursue my dream at a publisher and writer." they are "who"] used to be easy to manage became extremely stressful. “good job” I had another reality to face. a shortcut appropriate in a legal document.86 in the new jobs from $16.3 percent for women. people are never "that" or "which. “The study also found a high percentage--23.8 percent opt for a new career path compared to 24.9 percent of .
compared to 61. scrapbooking. Spending days in full-time leisure and repose no longer connotes a sense of privilege and deservingness. according to Mary Pebley. It would be much easier to just jump [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--avoid a split infinitive. P. “Employers and employees benefit when workers receive essential business education.1 percent reported flexible work schedules in their new positions.7 in the old job. The fifty-five-year-old-and-up crowd is the only age group that is growing as a share of the workforce. And 45. Try to express the idea in another way] ‟ to climb down from the corporate ladder to the bottom and to start climbing life‟s ladder all [Writing suggestion: "All" or "all of" used as an intensifier very often can be removed with no loss of meaning] over again. consider placing the adverb (just) before or after the infinitive (to jump )--try "just to jump " or "to jump just" (or place "just" later in the sentence)] right over and be at the same level where you left off. In celebration of the benefit of lifelong learning and of 50 years of ABWA. .” According to Women in Business. compared to a whopping 64. Only 36. seen too often. as opposed to 79 percent in their old jobs.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 7 workers with new jobs. 1999. ABWA's business education director. and golf prefer to keep working. Even those who have the means to chase after a merry life of shuffleboard. whiskey.4 percent in the old jobs. It is „easier said than done [Cliché--"easier said than done" is an old phrase. (2012) “Baby boomers are not simply delaying retirement. they are retiring retirement altogether by starting new careers.3 percent of those surveyed reported stressful work conditions in their new work.” There I was almost forty [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] and starting over. According to Marx. and marks your writing as unoriginal. it means you‟re unemployed.
that [Remove comma before "that" preceding a restrictive phrase (otherwise replace "that" with "which")] would be worth it. use "believed" or "thought"] that if I pick a program that can help me work on areas that I can improve in or help me learn a new way of thinking." says Ramona. Well." or simply "must"] recareer these days. You are writing this. "You never know when you're [Write out contractions] going to have to [Instead of "going to have to. [Remove comma (unless introducing a nonrestrictive phrase)] I felt [Try "thought" or "believed"] the my inner voice told me . One thing I do know is that I enjoy learning new things and I felt [Style suggestion: if "felt" is used in the sense of "to believe or think. so "of mine" is probably not needed] to get my Ph. [This is a thought-pause word in speech or folksy writing but is wordy and inappropriate in academic or business communication] this was a personal goal of mine [Simplify. will receive commemorative certificates honoring the achievement. family and [in academic writing. Also. if this is a series. Mo." Members who earn 50 hours of continuing education credit by the 1999 National Convention in Kansas City.” I was told that by friends.000 other ABWA members who participate in the continuing education program. Ramona." try something like "will have to.D. place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] certified experts in the coaching field that a master‟s degree would not benefit me." "would have to. so keeping yourself marketable is a smart idea. a member of Mountain State Charter Chapter in Charleston." it is a cliché and vague.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 8 the Association is offering "50 credits by the 50th Anniversary. believes in keeping her education as diverse as possible. [This is a thought-pause word in speech or folksy writing but is wordy and inappropriate in academic or business communication] I have to get a Master‟s first.. use a form of "believe" or "think"] [Clearer writing suggestion: if "felt" is used in the sense of "to believe or think. Well." it is a cliché and vague. like 3.
capacities. etc…” (Knowles. but remember the word means "causing to pause in wonder (awe)"] programs online for my publishing business.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 9 that a Masters [A possessive adjective requires apostrophe s -. I connected with my enrollment advisor and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] she was an amazing resource and motivator in getting me started and the journey has officially began or should I say the saga continues. You are writing this. so "for me" is probably not needed] after I researched various programs and schools. Holton.'s] of [if this refers to an academic degree. potentialities. It does not matter if you are young or an aging “baby-boomer!” A phenomenon as complex as adult learning will ever be explained [Passive voice ] by a single theory . 2011) [The citation for a direct quote needs the page number] Opportunities to change your life are there if you think positive and outside of [Writing suggestion: simplify by removing "of"] the box [Cliché--"outside of the box" is an old phrase. seen too often. Swanson. Try to express the idea in another way] . “Maslow (1970) sees the goal of learning to be self-actualization: “the full use of talents. and marks your writing as unoriginal. I knew that the University [Do not capitalize without the complete name of the institution (unless in a citation or as the first word in a sentence)] for Phoenix Distant Learning Program was the perfect fit for me [Simplify. so "for me" is probably not needed] as I did not want to be in a classroom but I wanted to create wonderful ["wonderful" is acceptable as an intensifier. You are writing this. Master's is spelled with an apostrophe before the s (and unless with the name of the school. the degree name is not capitalized)] Arts in Education/Adult Education and Training would be a great program for me [Simplify.
Ph. Licensed Psychologist (The Styles of Learn Individual Presentation. 20 August 2012) I really realize that in order to [Writing suggestion--the meaning will be the same (and less wordy) by removing "in order"] recareer you need to accept that you are a continuous [Check spelling: "Continuous" means continuing unceasingly.D. or a set of principles ” (Knowles. III. Ph. One of the greatest experiences in my communications class while pursing a master‟s degree was to turn my knowing some of this this [Typographical error: eliminate duplicate word (if on the same line)] information to understanding learning styles. I enjoyed reading the bios of my instructor and students who are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "who are"] loaded [Passive voice ] with a wealth of experience and diversity and many were experts in areas that can provide direction in my personal and professional life [Use "personal and professional lives"] . but it is redundant--how is "be explained by a single theory" different from "be explained by a theory"? ] . Licensed Psychologist called Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual-Spatial Learner By: Linda Kreger Silverman. constantly. I received confirmations and affirmations from the universe the very first week. After reading the assigned reading materials and research. Holton.D.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 10 ["Single" is often used as an intensifier. model. I read a document by Linda Kreger Silerman. all . You can truly start over and start a new career. I am so excited [Passive voice ] but often have a challenging time explaining how complex adult learning is and how amazing the opportunities are which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or place a comma before "which")] will allow you to reinvent yourself. Personal assignment. & Swanson) When I reflect back on this amazing opportunity.
BLUEPRINT YOUR [Do not use all capitals in academic writing--unless in trade name. so "for me" is probably not needed] is prioritizing and practice time management. S. C. or the running head ] GOAL. Anywhere else. 51(5). You are writing this. (2010). .” ARMSTRONG.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 11 day and night. exercising. research and [in academic writing. Thorson. if this is a series. Horse & Rider. J. I am looking into tools. V. why is this important. 50.. “One way forward is to take stock of what has gone on before and ask ourselves precisely what is it that we should be assessing. asking for help and support and [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] one of the biggest for me [Simplify. place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] time management when it comes to [concerning] projects in my personal and professional life [Use "personal and professional lives"] . S. J. I have to learn to follow-up on time. spell out "and"] FUKAMI. place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] applications to help me organize and prioritize. Time management is one of my biggest challenges. The improvement strategy I came up with is that I have to do all the recommendations the reading from eating healthy. You also need to create an improvement strategy or get you a career coach. "continual" means frequent but not uninterrupted continuance] learner and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] you will grow personally and professional. an acronym. if this is a series. & [Use an ampersand (&) only in a company name or inside the parentheses of an in-text citation. and how we should do it. resources and [in academic writing. This will help me to avoid spending too much time on my creative side and allow me to exercise the critical thinking. (2012).
Try simpler wording. Try to avoid its use] no matter where you've [Write out contractions] come from. No matter who you are. such as "advance. you can always change to become a better version of yourself and put on a wonderful [avoid using "wonderful"] encore career performance. something or nothing at all. become a better version of yourself.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE I know that creating a plan for my “re-careering” will help me continue on [Phrasal verb: These two words mean something different from the two words separately (looking up each word in the dictionary would not produce the meaning). which could cause misinterpretation in a business communication if the reader is not from your region (or 12 country). [In speech. baby boomer [Capitalize this term] or not. you can always change." "continue. venus or mars. but it is less effective in writing." or "progress"] my journey to serving my life purpose and [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] it does not matter who you are or what you did or here you‟ve [Write out contractions] from. "at all" is often used as an intensifier. Let the re-careering begin! . no matter what you did.
Vol. ((c) 2006-2012). (cover story). S. Women In Business. N. The adult learner: The definitive classic in adult education and human resource development (7th ed. Retrieved from http://independentpublisher. S. New York. Navigating your financial future. W. Women in Business.RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 13 References Myers. B.php?page=1545 http://www. Merriam. 88(31).).D. & Baumgartner. M. Holton. Golden Years. iUniverse Titles Making their Mark.html#tab=overview Amstutz.com/article. Learning in adulthood: A comprehensive guide (3rd ed.com/style/visual-spatial Upside-Down Brilliance: The VisualSpatial Learner By: Linda Kreger Silverman. (2009).. Seven iUniverse Authors Win 2012 IPPY Awards.phoenix. Master of Arts in Education/Adult Education and Training. E. R. Caffarella. 20. 48(5). 20 August 2012 . L. Community Banker. Jul/Aug99. A. (1996). Personal assignment. p34. S. M. What Older Workers Seek in Positions.edu/content/altcloud/en/programs/degreeprograms/education/masters/maed-aet.). R.learning-styles-online.. Licensed Psychologist The Styles of Learn Individual Presentation. & Swanson. 1p Knowles. (August 2012 Issue). NY: Taylor & Francis.. New Yorker. Retrieved from http://www. 51 Issue 4. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Ph. (2007). 18(8). P. (2012). Marx. (2011). 14.. F. S. 72-75.
RE-CAREERING: BABY BOOMERS‟ ENCORE 14 .