SS Cast Reveal #1

SINGLE STATION: CAST REVEAL #1 By thorney33

SINGLE STATION - CAST REVEAL #1 INT. STUDIO In front of a live studio audience, thorney33 sits in a chair with an empty chair directly to his left. The room is dark, and the only lights are shining onto the chairs. THORNEY33 Evening, folks! Tonight, we’re to learn the identity of our first contestant on the first ever season of Single Station...are you excited? The crowd is silent, with a drunkard at the back cheering loudly and a hipster clapping ironically. THORNEY33 (CONT’D) Yes...well...be that as it may, I’d like to introduce you to our first confirmed housemate...woman, mother, housewife. Not terms you would generally associate with entertainment...look at Desperate Housewives for goodness sakes... This raises a small laugh from the crowd. THORNEY33 (CONT’D) ...but with three crazy kids and the funniest husband on TV, she’s sure to set tongues wagging. Say hi to our resident ’Yummy Mummy’, Claire Dunphy from Modern Family! CLAIRE DUNPHY, early 40s, makes her way out on stage to the cheers of the massive crowd. She waves before sitting down next to thorney33 with an unhappy look on her face. CLAIRE ’Yummy Mummy’? Don’t you think that’s a little inappropriate? My kids might be watching! THORNEY33 I can assure you, Mrs. Dunphy; everything I say I say with the utmost respect. CLAIRE Oh...Mrs. Dunphy...let’s keep it at ’Claire’, sweetie.

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CONTINUED: THORNEY33 OK...I’ve just got a few questions to ask, Claire. First of all, what do you say to doubters that suggest your husband would have been a better fit for the show? CLAIRE What...Phil? The man who wanted to buy a track-suit because he thought it was a cosy to protect old casettes? THORNEY33 I meant the Phil that is considered one of the funniest men in all of America. CLAIRE What?! I can be just as funny as Phil. There is silence. CLAIRE (CONT’D) What, I can be! I mean, just yesterday, I was driving my daughter Alex to school, and we drove past a bus that was going really, really slow! So you know what I said? Claire leans in to an awkward looking thorney33. THORNEY33 Uh, what? CLAIRE They ought to...bus...a move! Silence. Perhaps even crickets. CLAIRE (CONT’D) Bus a move? You know, like that rapper...oh...what’s his name...Little Tom? THORNEY33 Um...anyway...another question I have is why you applied to be on the show? Three kids at home, needy extended family, lots of responsibility...

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CLAIRE (decidedly tired) Exactly. Next question. THORNEY33 OK! The last question before you enter...what do you think you will bring to the Single Station house? CLAIRE Well, as a Mom, I can try to be a role model for all the women out there who think they get taken for granted, and passed over as nothing more than a sexual object. THORNEY33 And what about in the hot-tub? CLAIRE Wait, what? THORNEY33 Uh...nothing! Well, Mrs...Claire...it’s been a pleasure. If you’d like to make your way into the house... A door opens up behind the two. Claire stands, with a look of determination. CLAIRE Take a good look, America. Next time you see this face, it’ll be as the winner of this whole thing. THORNEY33 Yep...because it’s the face we’re all admiring. The crowd cheers as Claire enters the house. CAST REVEAL #2 - COMING SOON

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