On the topic of being liked Being liked seems to be arbitrary.

However, it is a game1 much like the rest of Life and you can learn the rules. We seem to like people or are initially drawn towards them for reasons such as how they display themselves through speech, act, and physical appearance. Thus, there is agency on both the actor2 and audience3. The actor dresses himself to reflect his4 attitudes. Perhaps tattoos are meant to indicate open-mindedness. The audience perceives the actor’s attributes and creates a representation or model of his “true personality.” Thus by flocking together towards groups that act, talk, and dress similarly, you are striving to be surrounded by like-minded people.
(Perhaps this is why we are so critical of those who “over-act.” For example “hipsters” are so concerned with their outwardly prosthetics5, they forget that their mannerisms and style should only be a reflection of attitude and not the attitude itself. They are focused with labels of “cool” and “uncool” that they persist on avoiding uncoolness at all costs, rejecting mainstream media religiously to the point of mindlessness. To add extra incongruity, their cult-like mindlessness contradicts their motto of living freely.)

As for contradictions. Some people do dress contradicting to their personalities. While I shall not go into depth as to the reasoning behind this, I will provide whether or not this is beneficial for the self. I believe that it is not beneficial to dress contradicting to one’s personalities and true values. This is because those whom you truly do understand and who understand you might overlook you. On the other hand, those who accept you based on your performance may realize that you are not who you seem to be. This will lead to, at first, confusion then, eventually, severe loneliness. This is why we are attracted to certain mannerisms and appearances. We intend to be around people who will understand us better, accept us, and criticize us less. Therefore, you can artificially recreate this initial “click” through these steps: (1) Seek to understand who the other person you want to click with is. What do his mannerisms and physical appearance tell you about who he thinks he is? Try to formulate a hypothesis on who he is, his lifestyle, and his core values. (2) Present yourself in accordance.

A game is a set of rules with a defined objective. The completion of the objective denotes who wins and who loses. While playing a game, it is favorable to both (1) win and (2) not lose. 2 The actor is oneself. 3 The audience is comprised of those around you. 4 “His” is used rather than “his or her” to create a more condensed piece. Let us assume pronouns are genderless. 5 Prosthetics are how a person performs himself. Therefore they are as mentioned before: act, speech, physical appearance, etc.

(3) Result: He will believe that you share similar personalities. If he desires to be around like-minded people, you have successfully, artificially “clicked” with him. This method is what I termed: Seek to understand before you are understood. However, there are problems with recreating a click. The more you focus on donning a certain appearance and acting a certain way, the less you focus on understanding who you really are. You may dress, act, and talk differently than what your instinctive personality for such a long time that you have fooled yourself. This is where you are presented with inner conflict. To be at peace, try to dress, act, and talk as coherently to what you feel is natural for you. Of course, what you feel is natural, comfortable, and instinctive may change over time and around different audiences of people. Nonetheless, dress, act, and talk simply to reflect your personality.