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In part

Changes in Subud Voice Harris Smart writes ... P2 Two for the price of one... P3 Bonus articles and news... P4

Coming up in Subud Voice... P4 Past lives Harris Smart interviews Richenda Pope... P5 Needing to know Richenda Pope ... P9 Murrays memorial service... P11 Being Kertinis godfather... P13 Why dont our children join Subud?... P14 Balur putting health first... P16 Space for grace: Osanna Vaughn...P20 Favourite Photo: Portrait of a Refugee: Livingston Armytage... P20 Advertisements... P21




Number 6 / 1 July 2011


When we had to close down Subud Voice as a subscriber-based magazine, the two things that we and other people most regretted were that we could no longer publish a print edition, and also we could no longer carry the Bapak and Ibu talks as the magazine was going out to the general public. Unfortunately, with the high cost of printing and postage, we still cannot publish a print edition, but we are planning to change the magazine so that we can publish Bapak and Ibu talks. We are planning to publish two editions of the magazine, one for Subud members which will contain the talks, and one for the general public which will not contain the talks. From the September issue onwards, Bapak and Ibu talks will once again be included in Subud Voice. This means that Subud Voice will only be accessible to Subud members, so we are going to reinstate the subscription system. The Subud edition will be accessible by password. We always regarded the period in which we have been supported by sponsorship as a transitional phase which has enabled us to develop the magazine to the point where we believe it is as good as we can make it as an online magazine. In this transitional phase, we have made many changes, some initiated by ourselves, and many in response to consumer feedback. We are very grateful to the sponsors individuals, businesses, foundations and the Subud DISCLAIMER NOTICE organization which supported us by sponsor- The opinions expressed in the various articles ship during this transitional phase. However, are the sole responsibility of their authors and cannot be seen as representing the opinion of the number of people in Subud who have the the World Subud Association or of Subud Voice. resources and willingness to support us by The name Subud and the Seven Circles sponsorship is extremely limited and we know Symbol are registered marks of the World Subud Association. that we cannot expect them to support us on

Bapak and Ibu talks will be back

Ibu Rahayu with children at the Christchurch World Congress. Talks by Bapak and Ibu Rahayu will be back in Subud Voice from September onwards. (Photo by Sahlan McKingley)

an ongoing basis year after year. Therefore, we are going to reinstate the subscription system. You are now invited to subscribe to Subud Voice which from the September issue onwards will only be accessible by password to subscribers. There is now a button in the column on the left hand side of our website which will take you into the subscription form. Our web site is We are setting the subscription at AUD$50 for 12 issues (At current exchange rates that is 54 US dollars, 33 Pounds, 37 Euros.) It will begin in September and from that issue onwards you will no longer be able to access Subud Voice except by password. We ask you if you really think you can afford to be without the material that comes to you in Subud Voice, the personal experiences, the news and comment about matters affecting Subud members worldwide, not mention the Bapak and Ibu talks. Where else are you going to find articles like the ones about Rashidah MacDonald's experiences which you will find in this issue, just to mention one example? One of the things that forced us to shut down the "old" Subud Voice was that many online subscribers had passed on their passwords to other people, or e-mailed them the PDF of the magazine. We had about 200 online subscribers altogether and we were getting From September Subud Voice will only be available to 3000 downloads of the magazine each month. This subscribers. Subscribe now by going to, made us financially unviable and we had to close click on the SUBSCRIPTION OPTIONS button on left ourselves down the way we were. hand side of home page. Pay by credit card or Paypal We pray that this will not be repeated and we beg account.AUD$50 for one year (12 monthly issues). (At people not to pass on their passwords to other peo- current exchange rates that is 54 US dollars, 33 Pounds, ple or to distribute copies of the e-mail version to 37 Euros. That is at time of writing. Exchange rates do vary.)

From September issue onwards Subud Voice will only be available to subscribers



others. Otherwise, Subud Voice will not survive. Note: you will still be able to print out the magazine.

Changes in Subud Voice | SUBSCRIPTION OPTIONS

We continue to develop Subud Voice into a real e-zine using our own initiative and the feedback we receive from readers to utilize all the resources of the Internet and provide the very best possible service. Recent changes include... Readers have commented favorably on the fact that text is now in just one column instead of two. Readers have commented that printing out the Voice uses up their color cartridges. From now on the all text will be in black, and photo captions will also be in the same font size as other text. Of course, you can also print out the whole thing in black and white if you want to, but most people like the color photographs. We now list all the contents of the magazine on the first page and you can go to any article by clicking on the title in the contents list. All web and e-mail links in the text are now live-linked and clicking on them takes you to the relevant website, or opens a blank, ready-addressed e-mail. Subud Voice has been becoming bigger and bigger since we went online only. In the old days, Subud Voice was strictly limited to 16 pages because of printing and postage costs. Now, there is no limit to the size to which we can expand. However, some readers have expressed the nostalgic wish that they liked it better when it was not so much. In order to make the whole thing seem more accessible and comprehensible we are now going to publish two small units rather than one big one. So, you will be able to print just one smaller if you want to, rather than having to print one big one. Furthermore, of course, if you want to print out individual pages of the magazine you can do that using the instructions which are already in your printer screen when you go to print. We are also introducing a READER FEEDBACK mechanism. See the button on the homepage. Another new feature a button on the home page which enables you to instantly get a TRANSLATION of the home page



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into virtually any language on earth (including Swahili!). Translation may not be perfect but hey! Finally, we've introduced a new feature on the homepage called BONUS ARTICLE AND NEWS. Here we will put the newsletters and other items we receive from the various entities within the Subud organization. Generally speaking, all of these are now communicating to the world extremely well with their own websites and regular newsletters. These are available on the web and are also distributed by e-mail, so we figure there is no longer a need for us to put them in the Subud Voice magazine itself, so we are including them in the BONUS ARTICLES AND NEWS. Increasingly, we want to put in Subud Voice ONLY WHAT YOU CAN GET IN SUBUD VOICE. We don't feel there is any need for us to duplicate what other parts of Subud already doing extremely well for themselves. We increasingly want Subud Voice to have a unique PERSONAL VOICE. I have just today (May 26) put the following items up in BONUS ARTICLES 1. BCU School Newsletter 2. WSA Chair Report 3. Report of Meetings in Mexico (including plans for World Congress 2014) 4. Clear Light International Newsletter. Probably by the time you read this, there will be many more items in BONUS ARTICLES. Best wishes to all, Harris Smart, Editor

Two for the price of one

Since we went online and were freed from the constraints of postage and printing, Subud Voice has grown larger and larger (you may have noticed!). Some readers have even said that they preferred it when it was smaller. "It is too fat," they say. "Too bloated. Too much. More than we can cope with." Therefore, we have decided to split Subud Voice into two separate .pdf files with some thematic connection between the articles in the respective files. Thus, if you only want to read or download one part you can. Herewith a guide to this two-part issue of Subud Voice... We begin with several articles about Subud Voice itself - announcing a return to a subscription service, changes and new features and forthcoming articles when we become a subscriber magazine again. Then come two articles about and by Rashidah MacDonald and her experiences of past lives. Then come four articles which are connected in one way or another with the recent passing of Murray Clapham; a report on his memorial service; my experience as godfather to his daughter Kartini; why do some children of Subud members not come into Subud? And finally an article about Balur, the Indonesian health regime which Murray believed had extended his life. Part 1 concludes with our usual feature "Favourite Photo, this time from globe-trotting Australian lawyer, Livingston Armytage.

Increasingly, we want in Subud Voice only what you can get in Subud Voice.


Rashidah MacDonald. Read about her past life experiences in this issue We begin with two articles which have come to us from Emannuel Elliott. A story about the connection between the actress Diane Cilento and John Bennett and an account of a miraculous healing in the early days of Subud. And then a very interesting extract from Diane Cilento's autobiography about her visit to Mecca. Then, two stories about artists called Emily and Emilie...Emily the painter and Emilie the mask-maker. We then come to the final part of the three-part series we have been running about Wilbert Verheyen founder of the Indonesian charity YUM and first chair of Susila Dharma, Subud's charitable wing. We then have Ilaina Lennard's diary of the Amanecer Congress held in July 1993, and we conclude with two talks delivered by Varindra Vittachi at that Congress incorporating a message from Bapak. Enjoy!




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Bonus articles and news

We've introduced a new feature on the homepage called BONUS ARTICLES AND NEWS. Here we will put the newsletters and other items we receive from the various entities within the Subud organization and other items that cannot be included in the magazine itself. BONUS ARTICLES currently includes: KALIMANTAN MEETING IN APRILseveral documents relating to this extremely significant meeting about Kalimantan and its outcomes BCU SCHOOL NEWSLETTER...developments at BCU in Central Kalimantan WSA NEWSMay newsletter

WSA CHAIR REPORT...important reading in the lead-up to the WSC meeting in June KGC SIGNS WITH FREEPORT...the best news we've ever had? AGRICULTURE IN KALIMANTAN...the seeds of new projects

PREPARATIONS FOR WORLD CONGRESS...meetings in Mexico to plan Congress 2014

RUNGAN SARI: A WELCOMING PLACE...the history of the development and current arrangements By the time you read this other items will have been added... MEMORIES OF MURRAY...tributes to Murray Clapham who passed away on April 4

As well as all the usual features you're used to in Subud Voice, there will be these special features in the new Subud Voice available by subscription from September... MY KALIMANTAN STORY... Mansur Geiger has been at the forefront of Subud's mineral exploration in Kalimantan since the 1980s. He was the pioneer who travelled up remote rivers, made contact with the isolated Dayak communities, and spent weeks trekking through the jungle living on bamboo shoots. Now he brings you the story in several installments. Mansur Geiger's THE STORY OF YUM... by Olivia Reksodipoetro . YUM is the longest running contin- Kalimantan story will uous Subud humanitarian project we have. Begun way back in the 1980s by Wilbert appear in September and Verheyen and others, it continues to the present day to provide aid and assistance to the subsequent issues neediest people in Indonesia. Now Olivia, Chair of the Board of YUM. brings you the complete story including the YUM's current work in Java and Kalimantan. As well as bringing you news and experiences from inside Subud, the new Subud Voice will also bring articles by Subud members who are working at the leading age of their various professions. They will bring the unique perspectives and experiences of their activities in the world. JUSTICE AND THE Livingston Armytage. Livingston is a lawyer who specializes in legal education. For the last 20 years he has carried out a series of assignments for the United Nations aimed at improving the legal systems

Coming up in Subud Voice

From September onwards... Great Subud Stories

Leaders in Their Fields



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in a number of the world's major trouble spots including Pakistan, Cambodia and the states of Central Asia. He was recently awarded a Ph.D from the University of Sydney for his thesis based on these experiences. His thesis is now to be published by the prestigious Cambridge University Press. Livingston brings his insights on, well, justice and the law. MAKING ORGANISATIONS Solihin Thom. Solihin is well-known for his work as a cranial osteopath and in many other healing modalities. Solihin and his wife Alicia have also produced the book Being Human - an introduction to the elements and forces that shape human life - and have run workshops on this theme all around the world. Their work has given new form and meaning to Bapak's explanations about the forces that influence us. Solihin's latest activity is working with a Russian billionaire and entrepreneur applying the insights of a lifetime's work in health and healing to the development of an organization. COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT... by Bardolf Paul. Bardolf has worked for many years in community development in Asia including Vietnam and Kalimantan. He now heads up YTS the foundation which was set up to provide support and development to local communities affected by mining. He tells his life story, the work of YTS, and what it will mean particularly now that Subud's mining activities in Kalimantan are going ahead in conjunction with Freeport. As well as that, now that Subud Voice will once again have an edition available only to Subud members, we are free to publish not only Bapak and Ibu talks, but also material of special interest to Subud members only. Therefore, we plan to publish three classic Subud texts one of which has ever being published before and the other two which now unobtainable. We do this because we believe that all Subud members should be aware of these texts and be able to access them, especially the younger members who may never have heard of them. They will be published as e-books and they will be free to subscribers to Subud Voice. The first of these to be published in September will be THE EXPERIENCES OF MAS SUDARTO MARTOHUDOJO... by Sudarto. These have been virtually unattainable for many years. They are full of extraordinary stories and profound wisdom. Bapak personally gave Sudarto permission to publish them. Of particular interest are Sudarto's writings on sexuality, which we can say without fear of contradiction, are absolutely unique.

Books for Subud Members Only

Past Lives
Harris Smart writes...


I went to the Tate to meet Richenda. And to see the Turners, this being first day the new Turner Annex is open to the public. Twenty-two year-old Richenda arrives wearing a bright blue dress and a black coat, carrying on her back a little haversack of Indian cotton with hundreds of tiny mirrors sewn on it. Her dark red hair is in a single plait down her back. I have come to talk to Richenda about some experiences she has had of reincarnation. I have known her parents for many years and we are all members of a little-known spiritual movement called Subud. Subud originated in Indonesia in the 1920s then came to England in 1957. Richendas parents were amongst the first westerners to join. A few years after joining, they went to live in Indonesia to be close to the movement's founder Bapak

Rashidah MacDonald (formerly Richenda Pope) with her husband, Karim

About 24 years (April 1987) ago I interviewed Richenda Pope about some experiences she had had of her past lives. She is now Rashidah MacDonald and is always extremely reluctant to ever publish any of the remarkable experiences she has had. It has taken me all these years to persuade her to allow this story to be published. I have left the story as I wrote it at the time although of course some details have changed. For instance, her father Abdullah Pope has since passed away. Nevertheless, I felt it was better to leave the story as it was written at the time rather than to update it. It is also written in a way that it should be accessible to those not in Subud so it contains some information about Subud which will already be familiar to Subud members...


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Muhammad Subuh. He built a community south of Jakarta where about 150 Indonesians and foreigners came to live. Richendas father is an architect, her mother a writer and teacher. Her mother is fiery and dynamic. Her father of such unvarying kindliness of disposition that he is about the only person I have ever met in my life to whom I might be tempted to apply the epithet saintly. Their hospitality is legendary. The veranda of their house famous for the conversations, talks, debates and arguments which range long into the tropic night; these mostly overseen by Richendas mother sitting scrunched up in a chair, chain-smoking furiously on her clove-scented Indonesian cigarettes. A little while ago Richenda suddenly experienced her past lives, hundreds of them. Reincarnation, past lives, these are not tenets of belief in Subud, nor even of consuming interest. Few Subud members have such experiences and certainly there is never an intentional effort to investigate or recover past lives. Nevertheless, it sometimes happens, that someone, quite spontaneously, has experiences of past lives. According to her father, Richenda has had a particularly spectacular set of experiences and I want to talk to her about them for a book I am writing about Subud. We pass the Henry Moores. She tells me the story of a Moore her father had bought as a student in the 1950s when he collected art. When he and his wife had wanted to go to Indonesia, they financed a trip by selling his Henry Moore. Hed gone to Sotheby's in sandals carrying his first daughter in his arms with the Moore wrapped in a cloth. Sothebys looked askance but accepted it and gave him 900 for it. It would be worth 50,000 by now, Richenda tells me. But I guess it served its purpose getting them to Indonesia. Hundreds of Turners more than you could take in at six visits. The Tate used to have two rooms of Turners, now there are ten or twelve bulging and bursting with them. Sunrise, sunset, English countryside, Roman ruins, Venice, Thames in a mist, storm at sea. Then those extraordinary ones of mists, which have become completely abstract. Turner is surely the greatest abstract painter who ever lived, generations ahead of his time. We discuss painters. We discuss two painters in Subud, Harold Hitchcock and his son Leonard, Subud painters. They paint in a way reminiscent of some Turners, or even more of Claude Lorraine, who was of course an influence on Turner. Mythical landscapes. Roman ruins in a forest. Or the harbor of some imaginary city. There is always a light source in the center of the painting and as the painting proceeds outwards from this diffused light, the forms take on more and more body until in the foreground things are quite solid. I tell her my theory of these paintings. It is like they are metaphors for existence or the universe or the relationship between this world and the other, unseen world. They start from pure light which takes on form and substance as it enters the material world. We move on to discussing Rudolf Steiner. I was interested in Steiners philosophies of education. Walter Burley Griffin was a follower of Steiner, I tell Richenda since she is interested in architecture. Burley Griffin was a disciple of Frank Lloyd Wright and he designed Australias capital, Canberra. Richenda tells me I know there is a line of Steiner cosmetics called Weleda which are very good. Id never heard of Weleda before, but in the next few days I was to see the name again and again. As I flicked through a magazine in an osteopaths clinic later that same day; then over the next three or four days again and again. The old synchronicity - as so often the case, not seeming to add up to anything important, but suggesting patterns, connections, as yet only dimly and indirectly perceived; seen only through a glass darkly for the present, like symbols in a dream, but a sign of things to come perhaps in the future, when they will be seen with full clarity and understanding. The Experiences We went and had afternoon tea in the Tate coffee shop. We sat first in a room surrounded by mirrors, our reflections endlessly multiplied. Disconcerting. Moved to a quieter room. When did you get your name? I ask her this because it is not uncommon for Subud members to change their names, sometimes several times during their lives, to mark moments of spiritual development or need. I got my name at birth, from Bapak, she tells me. I always imagined you must have got it later. Its Muslim, right?

These experiences explained a lot of things to me



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No, its Quaker I think. Its the feminine of Richard. I always assumed it was Muslim. Doesnt everyone in your family have a Muslim name? While it is by no means obligatory nor even advised, some Subud members become Muslims. The founder of Subud advises people to practice a religion, since Subud itself is not a religion. But many Subud members, having rejected the Christianity in which they were brought up, find themselves unable to return to it and become Muslims. Richendas mother and father are amongst those who have embraced Islam. Only my mother and father have Muslim names, she tells me. None of my sisters do. Maria, thats not Muslim. Luzita is Spanish. Setyowati is Javanese. We talked about Cilandak, the suburb south of Jakarta where Richendas parents lived with other Subud members and where Richenda grew up. Jalan Fatmawati is so crowded now, she said. When I first remember it, it was a little country track. Jalan Fatmawati is the road, which runs beside the compound. Once a dirt track through paddy fields, it is now a major artery conducting traffic to the south of the city. It is narrow and hopelessly jammed with traffic for most of the day. The ten-mile trip to the city might take several hours at most times of the day. The only way to avoid the traffic was to set off at 5 am in the morning. So you want to hear about my past lives? Very much. It happened one night last year, when I was living with my grandmother in London. I was sitting quietly after finishing my prayers before I went to bed, just as I did every night. I was still in my white prayer clothes sitting on my prayer mat, feeling very quiet, when a spontaneous latihan came over me. At first I had no idea what I was seeing; it was like watching a movie. It was only after a while that I was given the realization that I was actually watching myself and my own past. This latihan lasted for about two hours and in that time I experienced about two and half thousand years of my history. In the first one that I became aware of after I realised what was happening, I was a Hindu monk in India. I was very young, like a teenager, but apart from that I dont remember much except that I was actively seeking and on a spiritual path. The next one was very important. I was a Buddhist. I was still young, a young man, and very enthusiastic. I was very eager for spiritual knowledge. Really hungry. I was a young monk. It was during the time when Buddha was still alive on earth. That was around 600 BC I think. There were thousands of us monks in yellow robes. But this hunger for spiritual knowledge, it was as if it was from my heart, and not my soul. But that was because my soul seemed still young" Then there were many more lives, lots of lives, but rather vague, some I wasnt meant to know, some not so important. Then another one became clear. I was someone high up in a sultans court in Central Java. It was roughly around the year 1,000 when Hinduism and Buddhism were still the faiths there. Islam hadnt arrived yet. I was very proud, arrogant and mean and also I didn't believe in God or anything except myself. The whole eagerness Id had of the spiritual life when I was a Hindu and Buddhist were gone. In this life, I pretended to believe and follow rituals because that was necessary for the society, to fool the people, but it was all hypocrisy. I felt that I was better than everyone around me because of my aristocratic position. Then there was a sudden change, immediate, with no time in between the lives, and I was in a different life, and I was a blind beggar. I was there, sitting, blind and begging in the rain, outside the same walls in which I had lived in the previous life. That was my karma, the consequence for that life before in which I'd been so arrogant. I could have done many good things in that life, being blessed to be born into that privileged position, but instead I was influenced by my position and became arrogant and proud of myself." Then there were various other lives, not so clear, and then I was a woman. It was the only one I remember where I was a woman. It was around 1600s in Germany or somewhere like that, and I was alone in a country manor house and I was terrified. I was full of anxiety and there was a war going on. I don't know what war. The Thirty Years War? When was that? The Hundred Years War? I dont know. I was alone in this house and I knew that soldiers were approaching. I could see smoke in the distance and soldiers marching towards the house. I was standing all alone on the front porch of the house, the house had once been a beautiful

As a young soul I was busy, enthusiastically searching for God


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here again? I seemed to have reached a good place in that previous life. In my life now, I have always felt, I dont belong here. I want to be with God. I often felt suicidal, not from depression, but I just wanted to leave the earth, to be with God. In the second experience I got the answer. Which was, Well, you knew so much, you had the gift of understanding but what did you do with it? You lived in a cave in the woods, alone; you didnt do anything with it.' So thats why I had to come back this time. I have to learn to find God while still being in this world. Finding the Oneness in the cave was the easy way. Its harder finding that connection with God in the real world. These experiences explained a lot of things to me. For instance, when I was in California visiting my sister, I felt pained all the time at what had been done to the land with the cities, the oil wells and the pollution. It felt like rape. Now I am sure it is because of my last reincarnation, when I knew that country before it was ruined. I used to wonder, why am I so different from all my sisters? Why are we all so different? We all had the same parents, lived in the same house, had the same upbringing. We should all be more or less the same, but we are so different. These experiences explained to me why we are different. Because of our past lives. A thing that always puzzles me, I chipped in, is we are shaped by our line of ancestry, right? And then our line of past lives also shapes us? So how come these two things match up? There must be some vast computer up there, keeping track of it all and matching up the line of ancestry and the line of past lives in everyones life. I think they have a thing like that in Hinduism, Richenda told me. Its called the Akashic records and its supposed to be keeping track of everything. But thats Gods job, our minds cant understand how it works. What I think is that

manor, but now after years of war, it was empty of people, furniture. The walls were cracked and dirty with smoke. I felt an emptiness, loneliness and hopelessness and could see my end was near. I was so alone. I didnt believe in God anymore. Not at all. It was different from when I was in Java. Now the belief in God was completely gone. Even the memory of belief was gone. I was ready to die at the hands of the soldiers because inside I was already dead Then there were more lives. All the time, through each lifetime, I was getting older and older, spiritually. Then I was an Indian. An American Indian? Yes, I was living all by myself out in the woods. I was completely isolated. I had no connections with anybody, no family or tribe, but I had understanding and wisdom. I had the ability of being able to know anything I wanted to without thinking. It was so passive compared to the young Buddhist monk I had started out as. As a young soul I was busy, enthusiastically searching for God. In this life I was an old man and without any searching or any effort, I already knew. I felt old inside too and at total peace and one with God and with everything, even though I lived alone. People would come and find me in the wilderness and ask me questions and I could give them answers. That was the end, that was the last life before this one. But a few days later I had another experience. Seeing all those lives, The British Museum... designed by Rashidah's especially the last one, had left me with a question. Why do I have to be great-grandfather, Sydney Smirke


The reading room of the British Museum


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your line of past lives accounts partly for what you are, and your ancestry accounts for part, and then of course theres what happens to you in this life. Its no wonder that all humans are so different and individual Ancestral Signposts We walked together to the tube. She said, I keep coming across all the buildings my great-grandfather and his brother built in London. His name was Sydney Smirke and his brother was Sir Robert. I remember your father telling me about him. He designed the Royal Academy, didnt he? Yes. And the British Museum. So we talked on and then the train pulled into Earls Court and she disappeared into the crowd. In most people the outer is so much stronger than the inner. The outer fits around like an overcoat. With Richenda the inner seemed so much stronger than the outer. You were always aware of it with her, right there on the surface. It made her very sensitive, vulnerable. Such a sweet girl. Her ancient soul on the one hand, and in another way, just a shy, tentative young woman trying to find her way in the world. Richenda/Rashidah subsequently went on to qualify as an architect like her father and greatgrandfather before her.

Needing to know

My name is Rashidah now; even though I had always insisted I wouldnt change my name, it changed after I went through a difficult time in my life. Although I had met Harris Smart briefly at congresses since that day at the Tate Gallery, I had never asked him or seen what he had written about our conversation. Perhaps it was because I was still embarrassed or shy about it, as reincarnation was not something often spoken about in Subud. It was only almost 20 years later that I met him again at the Innsbruck Congress in 2005 and had the courage to ask him about it, and as we sat talking on a bench in the park, he promised to send what he had written, to me. I was still young at the time of the experience, and now, many years later, I can view it with hindsight. These are my reflections on it today. Wanting to know something out of curiosity with the mind is different to needing to know something. Throughout my life, the latihan has given me what I needed to know, but not about things that I wanted to know or was just curious about. I believe that God knows much better than I do about what I need to know. It is the mind and heart that want to know things, but knowledge about the inner workings of life attained this way can be harmful. I believe receiving from God what we need to know is the safest and gentlest way, in accordance with our individual capacity to learn and understand. This experience was a spontaneous one, which I needed at the time to help me understand myself and my life. At the time, I was 19 and living in London, I suffered from culture shock since I had never lived there before even though my parents were English. Although I was religious, I was also very suicidal; this was a huge and difficult contradiction to reconcile within myself. All I wanted was to be one with God; I didnt have ambition or drive to live. I had deep memories of that feeling of Oneness with God, but living in London, I was struggling to find the Spirit. Even though I was doing latihan twice a week, I struggled with depression, and the latihan was my only way of just keeping my head above water during those difficult times. I was a quiet, shy, and sensitive teenager, and the world didn't make any sense to me war, violence, greed, hatred was beyond my comprehension, and I truly didn't want to be part of a world like that. Somewhere inside me, there was always a memory of a different world a peaceful realm filled with light and love. It seemed like I had made a mistake in coming here to this life in this world. The biggest problem I had at that time was that I knew that all religions said it was forbidden to take ones life. I wrestled long and hard with these opposites within me; my longing of wanting to die and to be with God, and the religious laws

Rashidah MacDonald comments on the story about her past life experiences and the difference between wanting to know and needing to know. She includes quotations from Bapak touching on the subject of reincarnation...



Wanting to know something out of curiosity is different from needing to know something

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saying it was a sin. Just when it all seemed too much, when there seemed no way to reconcile these differences; I was given the spontaneous experience in my latihan, of my past lives showing me where I had been and why I was here. Afterwards I was surprised by the coherence and logic throughout the progression of each of those lives. Each one was so different but connected by many threads ultimately leading to the present. I understood many things for the first time. I could never have been clever enough to imagine with my own mind, a story so coherent and intricate. It was indeed an unexpected gift as it was completely un-asked for, and spontaneous, and more than anything, it kept me alive during that difficult time; it gave me the strength to continue with my life and gave me an understanding of where I had come from and why I was here. When I had that first experience of witnessing my past lives, I saw that I had reached a place in my previous life where I was close to God and had lived a good life but did it out alone in the wilderness. Now, this time around, my challenge was to be able to find that same spiritual union with God while living in this world having a family and living a normal life. A Confirmation Twenty years later, I read this quote from Bapak, which was like a confirmation of this experience of needing to find the spiritual while living in the world; of combining heaven and hell Normally, meaning from the oldest times until now, the spiritual could not cooperate with the material, or heaven was not able to work together with hell. But now it is Gods will that heaven and hell should work together and that the spiritual and the material should be able to cooperate. The proof of this is in the latihan, where we learn that at the same time as we walk, we can pray. We are able to work, to write, to do all sorts of things with the power of God, with God. God is working in the world, not only in the hereafter. But in the olden days and until today, it was not like that, and not only over there but here in Java, it is the same. It is forbidden for someone who worships God to work in the material because then he will forget about heaven. This has the effect that the rest just go on and on only paying attention to this world, with the result that we have now, as people finally ended up making atom bombs and nuclear weapons to annihilate mankind. But from now on it is not like that. Now it is Gods Will that there should be cooperation between these two so that mans understanding should become aware that God is not only there in the hereafter, but here also in this world. [82 XTY 1] At the time and still to this day, I am deeply grateful for the experience and valued it, yet I found it hard to talk about it with anyone except my parents and close friends, because I felt that my experience was somehow non Subud, even though it had spontaneously arisen from my latihan. Reincarnation was not something I had grown up believing in; it was not part of my belief system. Over the years I had many other experiences in my latihans that tied in with that original one, and by coincidence, heard stories Bapak told about peoples past and found some talks in which he mentions reincarnation. A story by Bapak One story was told to me by an elder Subud member who was close to Bapak. The strange thing was that this person had no idea that I had had this experience of reincarnation, and the way it just popped into our conversation seemed to be like a message for me to have trust in what I had received. In this anecdote, Bapak mentioned two siblings in one family. He said one was an old soul who had experienced many lives on this earth, whereas for the other sibling it was the first time in this world. I was interested to hear this; how two siblings in one family could have such different pasts, and it explained why some people feel drawn to the belief in reincarnation, and others have no interest whatsoever. It seems that both are correct and its up to the individual to feel for themselves based on their own experience. That is the beauty of Subud; we are each trained Bapak Muhammad Subuh from within, customized individually to experience what each of us needs to learn. Sumohadiwidjojo, founder of In the twenty five years since experiencing my past lives, I have come across Subud. Rashidah found supquotes by reading Bapaks talks, and these have helped me to understand and to port for the value and authenticity of her past life experihave more trust in what I had received all those years ago. In Singapore he said: This is mentioned in Buddhism; its what they call rein- ences in his talks. (Photo by Sachlan Cherpitel) carnation. That is to say, there are levels in the souls of human beings, and if the



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I was surprised by the coherence and logic throughout the progression of past lives

state of a human being is not yet really complete, he cannot possibly rise up, but is still reincarnated. So it is important that the blocks that cause us to be incarnated again should be removed .. Now, why is it than in Islam and Christianity there is no such thing as reincarnation? The reason is that the names Christianity and Islam signify the state of a perfect human being. But the people who follow these religions are not yet (perfect human beings); so while the religion really does not favour reincarnation, its followers are not always able to carry out fully what their religion requires. 22 November 1958 58 SIN1 In Vancouver 1981:If you really examine and measure, step by step, the levels and the journey that has to be gone through from where we are, from the lowest to the highest, how many hundred million years would it take to complete that journey to heaven? And in Denver, From the material to the human from level one to four it is indeed possible for us to fathom these four forces by quietening our thinking mind, our heart and our desires. This is because these forces are still connected with the human will. That is why its said that, for as long as people still use the power of their heart and brain, they will need to come back down and become human beings again. This is something you may have read about, called reincarnation. But if you are blessed by God and are able to ascend to a higher level to the fifth level, which is nobler than the human you may not wish to come back down to this world and become human beings again. For the fact is that human beings yes, like all of you do not have contentment because you are affected by the cold, by cold things, by heat, by hot things; you are affected by this and that. You still suffer from this and that. Your life is difficult, it is different from those above us; their life is very different from ours. The difference between their life and ours is like that between human beings and animals. Denver 30 June, 1959 (59 DEN 1) The latihan has been an amazing and miraculous journey that has truly been an education from within. I dont know if I would have survived this life without dying (Mulla Nasrudin) had it not been for the latihan. I am truly grateful and blessed to have been given this gift and opportunity to learn, from the One who guides and teaches me on this journey of Journeys. I was surprised by the coherence and logic throughout the progression of past lives.

Murrays memorial service

Harris Smart writes...

As a child, I remember attending many weddings, but as one grows older, one seems to be attending more and more funerals, but never before one like this. It was the memorial service for Murray Clapham who passed away in Indonesia this year on April 4. St. John's Anglican Church in Toorak, Melbourne, was packed. I guess about 300 people attended. The service was conducted by friends of Murray's, the Anglican priest Jim MInchin, and Archbishop Peter Hollingsworth, once Governor General. of Australia and famous for his work as the head of the Anglican Church's charitable arm, the Brotherhood of St. Laurence. Murray Clapham Eulogies and tributes were presented by Murray's sister, Dizzy, his daughter Malaika, and the daughters of Don Chipp, the outstanding politician who founded the Australian Democrats party and whom Murray had brought into Subud shortly before Don's death. Prayers from Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and Judaism testified to the breadth of Murray's embrace of all religions and spiritual traditions. After the service, we went to the Royal South Yarra Lawn Tennis Club where Murray had been a member and where I had played with him once or twice. Again, there were about 300 people, including about 20 Subud members, someone of whom had come from other parts of Australia and from Indonesia and New Zealand. Many people stood up to talk about Murray, his outstanding human qualities, ranging from his extraordinary generosity to his wicked sense of humor. The gathering showed how Murray had kept friends from every stage of his life.



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Amongst those who spoke, were some who had been at school with him. I especially recalled two stories about him. A few years ago, a trilogy of novels appeared set in Jakarta during the tumultuous Sukarno era. This of course was the time when Murray was a diploma", and "more than a diplomat", in the Australian embassy in Jakarta. There is a character in these books, a Jakarta insider, who is easily identified with Murray. Murray loathed it. One time, passing through Singapore airport, he noticed a lot of copies in the bookshop, and bought all of them just to get rid of them. The proprietor of the bookshop must've thought, Wow! We've got a best-seller on our hands here, because next time Murray passed through the airport there were three times as many copies on sale. The other story I remembered was his racehorse, Affinity. Murray had been part of the syndicate which owned, Affinity, an extremely successful, horse which won some important races, including the Caulfield Cup, a big race in Australia. Murray gave his considerable share of the winnings, $110,000, to the Australian Subud charity, Sine Cera. This was typical of Murray. He was an extremely generous man. He supported not only many charities and other institutions, but many individuals can testify to Murray's personal generosity. Although I knew Murray for more than 20 years, it was in the last months of his life that I got to know him best. In January this year, I was fortunate to spend quite a lot of time with him. As we know, he had a long battle with cancer, 10 or 12 years, I think. In 2010 his condition seemed to improve for a while, particularly as he was following the Indonesian health regime called Balur in which he was a great believer. He was sure it had extended his life. But then he became ill again towards the end of 2010 and he finally accepted the need to rest and take care of himself, and during this time as he was being lovingly looked after by his family, I got to know him better than I've ever done before. Murray was an extremely friendly, affable person, but at the same time you sensed a kind of reserve in his nature. But in that last time I was with him, this reserve fell away and he became extremely open about some things in his life such as sorrows and traumas in his childhood, and attitudes he had once held that he now regretted. He was at peace with all this now. It was like a final reckoning, or emptying out, in preparation for the ultimate journey, the crossing of the bar as Tennyson put it. That unfolding of the soul we call the latihan, often seems to be speeded up and intensified as death approaches and that's how it was with Murray. Of course, we will miss him, but somehow I feel he is still with us. With us in memory, but maybe still with us in other ways too. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in the church today and the tennis club smiling down on us all from somewhere. Thank you to Murray's wife, Youry, and daughters, Vera (Malaika), Grace and Kartini, for arranging this wonderful occasion. And thanks to Murray. Perhaps this was his parting gift to us. It was truly a graced occasion, For although there was sorrow, there was also joy. And I have rarely seen 300 people from such disparate backgrounds having such a good time together. Connections were renewed or begun, promises were made, wounds healed. Twelve hours later I am more aware of how much has flowed from it. Murray's generosity is legend but one sees more clearly how it was not just in all the money he gave to individuals and charities but it was an instinctive response to every moment of his life, generosity informed by understanding. Twenty-seven years ago Murray made me the godfather of his daughter Kartini. I have always wondered why he did it. I did not even know him very well then. It seemed like a spur of the moment decision as we drove to the Wayside Chapel in King's Cross for her baptism. I see now that this was another gift of Murray's. No doubt he recognized that this would be good for me. (Even if I have been a lousy godfather. Sorry, Kartini, I will try to do better in future!). ed and new friends were made. People decided, what's the point of holding this grudge any longer? Might as well forgive. Announcements were made about pleasing developments in business. Lord knows what was happening to anybody else. People came to a better understanding of certain situations and people in their lives. Jokes were told. And that's just some of the things that happened to me. But I am sure that Murray left a parting gift for everyone. Many Murray-like events occurred at the Memorial. There were acts of spontaneous generosity. Old friends reconnect-

There were acts of spontaneous generosity



I am sure Murray left a parting gift for everyone

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Being Kartinis Godfather

I have often wondered why Murray made me Kartini's godfather. This is a tiny incident from Murray's life but perhaps we are all holograms and in every particle of our lives our complete essence is contained. So perhaps something of the essence of Murray is contained in this incident. At Murray's Memorial Service, someone spoke not only of Murray's generosity, but also of his intuition. It was like generosity overflowed in Murray's life. Not just in his material gifts to institutions and to individuals, but in many small, almost imperceptible ways. And it was generosity based on his intuition. And no doubt his intuition was working that day when he made me Kartini's godfather. It was Sydney in the 1980s. It was in the great, heady, days of Project Sunrise. Subud was on a high. Project Sunrise had had a huge impact on Sydney. Many people have become aware of Subud through it. People in highly placed positions had actually joined. We thought we were really going to make an impact on the world. Sydney first, then the world! Everyone would hear about Subud and see how marvellous we were with our extraordinary projects. That was the way that Bapak said Subud should spread. By people seeing the "proof, the evidence and the reality". Some people think that Project Sunrise was a "failure", but just think, if there had been no Project Sunrise we probably would not all have been in Sydney at that time, and I would never have become Kartini's godfather. We were on our way to the Wayside Chapel for Kartini's christening. The Wayside Chapel in Kings Cross was an extraordinary place run by a Uniting Church minister called Ted Noffs. Kings Cross in Sydney is the place of the drug addicts, the prostitutes, the sex clubs, the criminals, the down-and-out and the derelict. Here Ted established his chapel in the midst of the walking wounded and the lost souls. Ted was a great friend of Murray's. On the way to the chapel, quite out of the blue, Murray suggested, or asked, would I become Kartini's godfather. Why me? The least person in the world suited to be anybody's Godfather. To look after Kartini's spiritual well-being? If anyone should be looking after anyone's spiritual well-being, Kartini should be looking after mine as I'm sure she is much more spiritually advanced than me. Why me? The question has nagged at me for years. It was an impulsive decision. Maybe I just happened to be the only person in the car. But now I think it was one of Murray's "intuitions" as well as one of his "gifts". He must have intuited it would be good for me to be somebody's godfather. It would give me a connection otherwise lacking in my life. A connection and a responsibility. What is a godfather after all? Well, we know they are plentiful in the Mafia, but what else besides? I guess it does mean on some level, however vaguely, that I made a commitment, took a vow. Ted began the christening of Kartini by saying, "I am a Christian, I am a Buddhist, I am a Jew, I am a Hindu, I am a Sikh, I am a Muslim...and so on". You could say that he was a man of very broad sympathies, like Murray, who once described himself as a "Chrislam". Then I hardly saw Kartini for many years. In fact, I was never really sure which one of Murray's daughters was my god-daughter. (Perhaps I should take them all!) But then at the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 I spent quite a lot of time at Murray's house in Melbourne. He was not well. He had exhausted himself he could never say no to anyone - and the symptoms of his illness had returned. The first time I went to visit him in December 2010 he was lying out in the sun in the backyard on the famous "Balur" copper sheet and was being looked after by Dr. Gretha, the founder of Balur, and by his wife Youry, and daughter, Kartini who is a naturopath. Murray was wearing his bathers and the three women were all blowing smoke into him through syringes. Such is the nature of Balur. There were subsequent visits and I not only got to know Murray well but I also got to know my god-daughter and finally learned how to distinguish her from her sisters. What a wonderful person! How blessed I am to be her godfather. At that time I was wanting to bring more articles about young people into Subud Voice. I was very interested in the question of why the children of some Subud members come into Subud and why some don't. I know that each one is an individual story, but Harris Smart writes...



Why me? The least suited in all the world to be a anyones Godfather?

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there may be trends to catch up on, trends that might be interesting and even important. Kartini gave me a lovely interview about why she has not joined Subud (one of her sisters has). I keep holding onto it and not publishing it because I think that one day I might hear that Kartini has joined Subud and then the interview would be irrelevant. But I saw Kartini last Saturday, the day after her father's Memorial Service, and I asked her if her attitude about Subud had changed and she told me it had not, so maybe it is time to publish this interview with her.

Why dont our children join Subud?

Harris Smart writes...

A question I often think about is why don't more of the children of Subud parents join Subud? Of course, some do, but many don't. Why is that? I decided to ask Kartini Clapham, the daughter of Murray and Youry Clapham why she has not joined... Kartini was born in 1984 in Jakarta. Murray is Australian, a Subud member and former diplomat and businessmen who has spent much of his life in Asia. Youry is Indonesian, from the island of Manado (from where it, is said, come the most beautiful women in Indonesia). Kartini is the youngest of three sisters, Vera and Grace being the others. When Kartini was three, the family went to live in Singapore where they stayed until she was 14. She says, "I had a very cosmopolitan upbringing. Because even though we were living in Singapore, we often travelled to other places, especially Indonesia. Even to this day, though I've spent most of my life outside of Indonesia, I still feel very Indonesian, more Indonesian than Australian. I love Indonesian culture, food and lifestyle..." During this time, the family went to stay for six months in Ecuador and the sisKartini Clapham ters attended the Pestalozzi School run by Subud members, the Wilds She says this was a great experience. We became fluent in Spanish, though I don't remember a word of it anymore, and once again it increased our understanding of different cultures. The family came to Australia in 1998 where she finished her high school. She then qualified as a naturopath and is now also married to Baptiste.

Naturopathy What led you into being a naturopath? I asked. My father had been ill for about 10 years with cancer and I became involved in his care, and so I became interested in things like diet and complementary therapies. Most recently this has become an involvement in the Balur method of treatment. Since qualifying, she has managed health food shops, but became disillusioned with the health food business because "people are just in it for the money, they don't really offer as much as they should in terms of a real health service". Kartini would like to see them combining the retailing of health products with health services such as consultations with therapists. So, with two other naturopaths, she's in the process of setting up a website from which you can order health products, and also have a virtual consultation with a naturopath. "It will be just the same as a real consultation. We will be concerned with getting to the root of people's problems and treating them as a whole person. But a virtual consultation will be much less expensive than what you would usually pay." They hope that the proceeds from this online venture may lead to them also being able to have a physical shop. What's Wrong With Us? I sometimes suspect that the reason young people don't join Subud is that they find the previous generations just too dull, too fuddy-duddy, and unsuccessful. We have failed to make Subud seem important, interesting, valuable and colorful. In short, we have failed to be good examples. We have failed to sufficiently manifest the latihan. So I asked Kartini, What's wrong with Subud? Why haven't you joined? What's wrong with us?

The latihan and testing remain hidden
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Kartini replied, From what my father has told me, I actually think the philosophy of Subud is very good. I even believe in what Bapak had to say about the hierarchy of forces. And it is not so much the older generation that gave me a bad impression of Subud. On the contrary, I respect the older people and what they have done. No, my problem is more with my own generation. I have been to Subud gatherings where it seems to me the younger generation is just using Subud. Excuse me for being so blunt. It also seems to me that some younger members join just because their parents are in it. They are just blindly following their parents rather than making their own decision." I said, I think very few people join Subud as a philosophy, but more from a crisis in their lives, a need chronic or acute. Generally, people are driven to it by some kind of despair, alienation, anguish, search for release, wish for peace and wholeness, wish for self-improvement, an intense feeling of the absence of God. Some feeling like that. But you don't seem to have that. You seem to be remarkably at peace, and cheerful, helpful to others and getting on with your life in a constructive and happy way. Do you ever think that you might have hit the ground running because your father is in Subud? I do think that sometimes, and yes it is true that most of the time I feel quite well. However, like everyone, I have my moments of doubt and wonder. I do feel that I would like to be closer to God. Do you practice in any spiritual system? I meditate. It is my own form of meditation that I put together taking things from here and there. Sometimes I might meditate on a flame, or other times I might focus on a light in a part of my body." Focusing on a sensation in the body? You know, that is not so different from what the latihan often is for me. Maybe. While I have had the philosophy of Subud explained to me, the actual latihan and testing seem to remain hidden. As children we used to listen to the strange sounds coming from the latihan hall and would sometimes try to 'sneak a peek', but it never did us much good. Where do you get satisfaction in life? What is important to you? Deep meaningful conversations with friends about life, love and the meaning of the universe. My marriage, my relationships, my work. All these things. Well, it was interesting to know that at least in the eyes of one young person who has not yet joined Subud, it is not the fault of us older members making it too dull and inaccessible. Probably there are thousands of reasons why the children do not join Subud, and perhaps each one may be a different story. Let's hear from you, children of Subud parents. Why have you not joined Subud? Or on the other hand, why have you? (Vera, Kartini's sister, has been opened, but not yet Grace.) I should disclose that Kartini is my God-daughter, my only one. I don't quite know why Murray chose me to be Kartini's Godfather all those years ago, as I think I was most unsuited for the role. I apologise, Kartini, for not having fulfilled my Godfather responsibilities more fully over the years, though of course you were living in other countries most of the time. Nevertheless, I am very happy that we have finally re-connected, partly because of the beneficent influence of Balur. (See article about Balur in this issue.) A few days after Murrays Memorial Serviceand after she had read my story about being her godfatherKartini wrote: Hi Harris, Thank you for those lovely words. I should say that I am strongly drawn to Subud but have several doubts on the young generation. I've been hanging out mainly with the older Subud brothers and sisters (including Dad) who have seen the light of being opened in Subud. But I have yet to see it from those that are my age. I guess in the end it is a personal decision and at this moment I am not ready. Dad never wanted us to join unless we internally felt right about it. My choice of not joining may change depending on my journey ahead. I know the door is always open for me and I cannot say I will never join as who knows in the future. :-) I am thankful to Dad for having shown us Bapaks teachings and that will always be a part of me. Dad became a family man because of Subud and everything I cherish of Dad is because of Dads spirituality and beliefs. Our family is forever grateful for Subud guiding Dads path to purification. And this is now the reason that we know Dad is still with us and is in the house of God. He is safe and being taken care of. We felt it at the time of Dads death and at the church. Lots of love Kartini x

Bapaks teachings will always be part of me



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Balur putting health first

Harris Smart editor of Subud Voice, writes about a new health treatment. Balur seems to fly in the face of some of the things that we have been told are not good for us, including the smoking of cigarettes. What's the truth? For more than 10 years, I watched Murray Clapham, a friend and fellow Subud member, battle with cancer. I had seen his health decline from the very healthy, hale and hearty person he had once been, an outstanding sportsman, to just a shadow of himself. He tried every health treatment known to humankind, it seemed; everything from conventional Western medicine through to some very way out alternatives. I've seen his health fluctuate over this time. There were times when he looked better than others, and there were times when he looked like he was at death's door, and you could not have expected him to live very much longer. Then about a year ago he told me he had found a new treatment regime in Jakarta called Balur. He did not believe he was cured of cancer, but it did seem that the treatment had improved his condition greatly. "It's definitely doing me good, he told me, and you can't expect any instant cures when illness has advanced to the stage it has with me. Murray, formerly a businessman and diplomat, has spent much of his life in Asia and, as well as a cancer, his system had been weakened by many other illnesses including malaria, dengue fever and more recently arthritis. But he certainly looked a lot better. Once again upright and vigorous. Perhaps the most remarkable thing was that his hair, which had gone grey, had returned to its original brown colour. Subsequently he sent me this report on Balur...

Balur Klinik In an undistinguished small building away from the Jakarta CBD with a sign Gallery" outside is a remarkable healing centre run by Ibu Dr. Gretha Zahar (Ph.D in Chemistry), a lady of many talents. Over the last three months a number of Subud members have been treated at this small clinic. Most have made remarkable progress and some have found it profoundly beneficial at a deeper level. At first glance its hard to comprehend what is going on here. However, on closer scrutiny, it is an amazingly complete holistic process to not only boost the immune system but also to fight disease. It consists of old forgotten wisdom, traditional Javanese medicine, new nano technology delivered into your blood with smoke and it is all underpinned with a broad spiritual base and a great deal of love . The science is being developed gradually by a very impressive group of professional researchers and doctors at two Indonesian Universities. In addition the Medical Faculty of one of these universities has now included this approach in its curriculum. Like many of the new Subud patients I am just a work in progress and can only say at this stage that apart from a very rapid improvement in feeling and looks, my normal blood tests continue to worry my medicos. But I amazed my Singapore eye doctor with the disappearance of my glaucoma after only 8 weeks treatment .We newcomers, however, are daily surrounded by evidence and tales of cures. I have to say it can be tough going and many cant take it. But in my wifes family we have already seen scarcely believable results and feel very blessed to have found this place. I have asked some of my Subud co-patients to make some comments below. It is their hope that this relatively cheap and apparently effective medicine can become available to all as soon as its practical. I hope that the openness which Subud patients seem to have might possibly be found within some of our practitioners and we can help to spread this form of treatment. From Utami Geiger I came to the Balur Klinik to find a cure for my daughter, who had been struggling with her overall well-being, in particularly her digestion. To encourage her to follow this treatment, I also jumped in for a try. I must say, its not what I had imagined. When the treatment finished it left me feeling light-headed and nauseous. But next morning, I felt a real difference and throughout the day I felt more energized. They told me to do a minimal of 5 consecutive treatments. After the 5th, my complexion has improved and my varicose veins have slowly disappeared. Then my daughters followed the treatment and each of them noticed an improvement in their overall well-being. My sister had a thyroid problem and after several treatments her thyroid glands were decreasing. Also she found a solution to her sinus problem. My father at 88 followed this treatment to fix his arthritic toes. Since he started this treatment, I have not heard him complain about his big toe. From Ala Early August 2008, I was diagnosed with liver cancer and was told that I had 6 to 8 months to live. Chemotherapy was offered, not as a cure but to extend my life. My husband had heard of an alternative treatment and



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as I was very ill I started Balur therapy 3 days later. When I first saw the centre I was a bit shocked but I have since learnt that I can't judge from how things looked from the outside. The therapy is weird, consuming, confronting, sometimes painful but always given with love. Over time my health strengthened. Every month I have a blood test, and a CT scan every 6 months to monitor the progress and the cancer is regressing. It's been over a year since I was diagnosed and I am so incredulous and grateful that I am leading a relatively normal life. My blood tests and liver functional tests are normal. Every day I thank God and truly enjoy life

From Mardiah Gleeson I am an American woman who came to Indonesia with my husband seeking quiet, healing and retirement. We bought a small house in the Subud community of Rungan Sari in Kalimantan. About three months ago my back started to give out and my teeth needed attention, too. So I flew to Jakarta for help, as the resources in Kalimantan are limited. What I discovered through some Subud friends was this alternative healing clinic and there is also Dr. Debby the dentist, who works closely with Murray Clapham with Balur researcher the clinic. Sarawati My first experience being 'balured' left me speechless! I never could have imagined the process. I was rubbed and pounded by a series of different liquid mixtures, compressed with cheesecloth strips soaked in these mixtures. I was given small portions of powders mixed with water and honey to drink at various intervals, given enemas, covered with aluminium tinfoil from head to toe, and told to smoke these nano treated cigarettes towards the end. (I had given up cigarettes 8 years ago.) Nearly 3 to 4 hours later, it ended with my Balur nurse blowing smoke through a tube into my ears, each nostril, and mouth. Then I was told to get up off the copper table on which I had been lying, first on my stomach, then on my back, for these various applications and then to go to the shower. Somehow, I did that, but I was very shaken up. However, now I sit writing this after 50 visits to the mysterious world of Balur and nano physics. I am not the same person I was when I embarked on this journey. When able, I now feel committed to sharing this with others around the world. From Rahman Connelly On a recent trip to Jakarta I decided to try the Balur treatment that Murray and Mansur had spoken so much about. These are my observation having undergone ten 2-hour sessions. My perception is that the treatment is based around drawing disease or disease causing substances such as mercury from all portals of the body. Each treatment consists of half a dozen different body compresses, including one with coffee grinds. Then there is the slapping of the entire body, which can be uncomfortable, but not extremely so. Throw in a couple of enemas, with the finale being the dabbing of hot water over your body. On most occasions it manages to find a very sensitive spot that can leave you (in extreme instances) flapping about like a fish out of water (the hot water feels more like boiling water). The treatment is carried out lying on a copper bench. At the end, by looking at the colour of the copper bench, you begin to get some idea of the rubbish that has exuded from your body. Most of the above is not new, but what sets Balur apart from anything I have ever heard of is the use of smoke. Smoke, using ordinary-looking kretek (Indonesian cigarettes) with special nano filters (there are 41 different cigarettes and 4 different filters for treating different conditions). The practitioner lights up a cigarette and via a tube or syringe blows smoke into your ears, nostrils and mouth - with the last two being a little uncomfortable. The results from the ears are quite startling; after several blows into my ears I always found a thick deposit of black stuff. And, of course, you smoke the cigarettes. Smoking your way to good health so to speak! The theory, apparently, is that smoke is the best way to introduce into your body certain substances, in nano form. I know Murray has had some success with the treatment and there is much anecdotal evidence of cancer cures, with breast cancer being the most common one mentioned to me. Autism in children is another condition that appears to respond well to the treatment; on most occasions I was at the clinic there was a child being treated. Whilst anecdotal evidence is plentiful, clinical trials and case histories are needed and its important to note that treatment methods are still undergoing change, e.g. blowing smoke onto the skin using syringes rather than having to smoke



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Interviewing Dr Gretha Then just before Christmas in 2010, I met Ibu Gretha, the founder of Balur, at Murray's house in Melbourne. It seemed that Murray had had a relapse and become very unwell and she had come down from Jakarta for three weeks to treat him personally. When I arrived at Murray's house, it was to see Murray stretched out on a copper table in the back yard while three women ministered to him; Ibu Gretha, Murray's wife Youry, and one of his daughters. They were all smoking cigarettes and then they blew the smoke into plastic syringes which they then used to inject the smoke into Murray's body. Pretty strange, you might think. How is this supposed to work? What good is this? Well, fortunately, Ibu was able to give me some time in between treating Murray in which I was able to ask about the theory and practice of her approach to health and healing. First of all, where does the name Balur come from? I was born in a little village in Central Java and one of my dearest memories is of being massaged by my mother when I was a little child. She used a particular kind of traditional rubbing massage that is called Balur. What I am doing has one foot in the traditions of Javanese medicine, but the other foot is planted very firmly in the present and the future, in quantum mechanics. Could you describe the essential principles of your treatment? It can be considered as a process of detoxification, in particular to detox the body of mercury. The mercury in the air we breathe. The mercury in the food we eat. The mercury that is in many of the medicines we take. We all have too much mercury in our systems. Mercury has built up in our bodies way beyond the proper level, and we do not notice the insidious effect that mercury is having on us all. And most insidious of all is the mercury that is leaking constantly from our amalgam fillings into our bodies. I know this is controversial. If you ask your regular dentist, he will probably tell you it's not so, and you don't need to have your amalgams out, but I cannot even begin to treat someone until they have had their amalgams out. There is no point. The amalgams just put back in what I have taken out. Mercury is the cause of a whole range of illnesses ranging from cancer to autism. Yes, a large part of my practice these days is treating children with autism. Ibu's Western scientific side carried out doctoral studies at the University in Bandung looking at free radicals. Free radicals in the body are particles which cause range of effects including ageing and illness. Her doctoral work on free radicals took 13 years to complete and has made her deeply attuned to the latest developments in physics such as general relativity and quantum mechanIbu Gretha, founder of Balur ics. So, while on the one hand she draws from the ancient traditions of Java, on the other she draws from the very latest scientific theory. What is the point of the smoking? I am not the first one to say there are health properties in tobacco. The healthful use of this natural God-given herb has been well documented in many cultures such as the Native Americans. Indeed the problem with tobacco is not so much the plant itself as human beings. Like so many things, it is okay in itself, but once we get our hands on it, we abuse it. We use it too much. We use it wrongly. We use it for the wrong reasons. We don't use it for our health, we use it to cover up inadequacies. We use it as a crutch not a medicine. That is the problem. The problem with tobacco is the way that cigarette companies and consumers have exploited it. The product you get in the typical commercially available cigarette is no longer natural at all. It has been subjected to various chemical processes, so that sometimes when you smoke a cigarette, you are inhaling more than 12,000 chemicals, many of them proven to be carcinogenic. What I am doing is something completely different. I would like to see some studies comparing the usual

cigarettes. (Although it is still necessary for patients to smoke the cigarettes as well.) A number of Subud members have tried the treatment and have felt very connected with the latihan during it. On a couple of occasions I had the sense that the treatment penetrated to the core of good health. However Balur is confronting and for some might be affronting; but it might be worth attention by those members with an interest in alternative forms of treatment.

The therapy is weird, consuming, confronting, sometimes painful but always given with love



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Mystic as Much as Scientist Some of her beliefs and experiences can take us into a strange land. She is as much a mystic as she is a scientist. These two things seem to come together in her. So, for example, she believes that some of her treatments enable mercury in the body to be transformed into a kind of gold. (This was of course the quest of the old alchemists, turning base metals into gold.) Her hair - which by her age should be grey, is in fact a strong bronze colour, and Ibu believes that this is because of the gold in her system expressing itself through her hair. But, when all is said and done, the bottom-line is, does Balur work? Well, many people have told me that it does. They say they feel better for it. They say they have recovered from serious illness. Ibu says she has treated more than 40,000 people. Some of her supporters, such as Murray, wish that there were more case studies which had been documented in the way that would give the kind of proof that is needed to convince the Western medical mind. Love is the Answer Healing is always a psycho-spiritual process, she told me. Take Murray, for example. He is someone who all his life has been extremely responsible and helpful to other people. He is one of those people who can't say 'no'. Over the time he has been doing Balur, his condition has definitely improved, but then recently he got very run down trying to do too much to help other people. The wrong kind of responsibility causes worry and anxiety and actually eats into the system, undermining the immune system, and plunging us into ill health. We have to learn how to look after ourselves. Learn the legitimate kind of self-love in which we do not pamper ourselves, or indulge ourselves, but value ourselves and care for ourselves and heal ourselves. Sometimes we have to withdraw from all other responsibilities, except the responsibility to regain and maintain health. Because what help are we to anyone if we are not here? There are times when we must withdraw from everything else and focus on our health. We must make our health 'number one'. Because health, next to God, is the most important thing. Health is the foundation of everything. Without your health, you can do nothing. So many other problems in the world today come down to lack of love and this includes lack of self-love. There is too little self-love in the world today. Too much guilt, too much self-doubt, too much low opinion of oneself. We need to find the confidence and hopefulness that comes with the right kind of self-love. Then we can really love others too, and we will see a blossoming of healing, and my work will become much easier.

In Order to Really Benefit What she has discovered is that harmful mercury and metal particles in the body can be reduced to tiny nano-sized particles and excreted from the body using specially treated cigarettes called divine cigarettes. The cigarettes, according to the biomolecular scientist who has researched the cigarettes, Professor Sutiman B. Sumitro, can make mercury radicals undetectable and the smoke is milder, odorless, deodorant and safe compared to regular cigarettes. The treatment also involves massage and many people have told me it is quite a painful process. You lie on a copper slab and you're subjected to a vigorous massage which may involve forceful slapping on various parts of the body where pollutants such as mercury are concentrated. The effect of the massage is to shake loose the mercury in our systems to, help drive it out of the body. People have told me how they see the actual disgusting pollutants excreted from their bodies on the copper plate. This is the beginning of the detoxification process. But to really benefit you have to follow an extremely detailed and demanding health regime including diet and other factors. One of Ibu's beliefs is that we must all become our own doctors, responsible for our own health. She does not promise any quick fixes. People usually come to her too late, when their illness is so advanced that it is difficult to get a complete cure. The patient must usually be prepared to undertake a long and demanding program of self-help if they are to really get the maximum benefits. Ibu is looking now to prevention as well as cure. She wants to help not individuals, but whole societies, all of humankind. So she has begun to experiment with agriculture, believing that many of the techniques she uses to treat human beings can also be applied to plants and will enable them to grow particularly healthful food. She has purchased land in Kalimantan where she has begun to follow these experiments.

commercial cigarette with natural, unadulterated tobacco. I would not be surprised to learn that long-term studies would show that the problems such as lung cancer associated with smoking, are not so much in the natural leaf but in all the chemicals that are added to it. Natural tobacco has many positives such as amino acids, vitamins E and B12, folic acid etc. Furthermore, in my use of tobacco, people do not smoke as much as ordinary smokers, and I have found that a more direct and effective method of getting smoke into the body is to inject it through the skin.

Health is the foundation of everything. Without health, you can do nothing



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In response to the outcomes of workshops, discussions and experiences at the World Congress, the WSA Executive is launching a new initiative titled Space for Grace. Our Subud Groups and Communities bring us together to worship through the Latihan. They also offer a great opportunity for dialogue, providing safe, inclusive spaces for our members to engage in respectful communication and openness, empowering a sense of ownership, engagement and renewal an environment where we are each supported in developing our unique talents, expressing and bringing the fruits of the latihan out into the world. We are aware that many such dialogues are already happening within groups, and also among members working together in teams and projects both small and large dialogues where real needs and concerns are being expressed, and successes shared. We also know that it is not always easy to get a dialogue going. We invite those groups/teams with experience to share what they have learned, and we offer support to those having challenges in getting started. With this letter we are inviting members and groups to read and find out about the attached SPACE FOR GRACE initiative, and to join in and participate. We are setting up networks for communication and on-line spaces for sharing. In the meantime, we look forward to hearing from you with thoughts and comments. With love, The SPACE FOR GRACE team Haris Wolfgang Osanna Vaughn Imke Wolf Doettinchem Paloma de la Via (Zone 3 Rep) Simon Milan With thanks for the support of international helper Hamish Barker and Ragna Valli.

Space for Grace


Livingston Armytage is a lawyer. His career has specialized in judicial education. For many years he has carried out assignments for the United Nations intended to improve judicial practice in a number of countries, often trouble spots, including Pakistan and Cambodia. He is just about to have a book published by Cambridge University Press about law based on these experiences. He is also a serious photographer who documents his visits to these countries. Livingston writes Almost ten years ago, I photographed this girl in the Jelosai camp for refugees on the Afghan border of Pakistans North West Frontier Province. Her family had been displaced twenty years before first by the Russians and then the Taliban. They lived in a tent of flapping plastic sheets in a wasteland of dust in 50C heat for months, years on end. It was just after 9/11. Then the UN closed the camps and sent these people back - to another war, this time with America. I often wondered what happened to this young girl with the deeply sad eyes. Five years later, I was driving through Kabul when our car was blocked in traffic. Hundreds of school children were leaving a school, chatting and laughing in their blue and white uniforms. Then I noticed it was a girls school, reopened after a generation of closure. I hoped then that this girl might be among them. And I hope now that she may have found the university.

Portrait of a Refugee



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Submissions are invited which relate to Subud life or are from Subud members. We cannot guarantee when or if a submission july be published. Preference will be given to articles of about 2000 words or less accompanied by a photograph, wellwritten in English and dealing with the activities of Subud members, or expressing a Subud member's perspective on a subject.

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JULY 2011