Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to.

____ hopes your tiny, soul-suc ing cubicle provides you a warm atmosphere in whi ch to celebrate your birthday. ____ hopes your birthday suc s less than mine did. ____ couldn't fit all the letters on the ca e, so it just says "Happy Birthday, Assho." Hope that's cool. ____Actually, I didn't forget your birthday, but since you forgot mine I waited until a day after to send this. ____ is glad I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. ____ Happy Birthday even though I tried to ill you all those times when we were ids. ____ Birthday, n.; Anniversary of one's birth, observed only by men and children . ____ the fact that a Faceboo reminder told me it was your birthday doesn't Well... the Earth just rotated 360 degrees on its axughing, cuz....I don't do th at Good morning beautiful breasts of my neighbor. How did you get inside these bino culars? Faceboo . The magical world where it does not matter how intoxicated you may be but you better have perfect grammar and spelling. Y' now, not everyone gets to wa e up and tell 191,519 people good morning. Good Morning! :) Goodmorning fellow friends. Today we're going to tal about Creativity. You see, creativity is...umm hold on a sec. Google is still loading. Damn, got up too late to go the gym again. That ma es 12 years in a row now. I listen to what my body tells me. This morning I said "how about a 6 am toning/ yoga class?" My body replied "don't even thin about it, fat ass!" Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Showing statuses tagged goodnight-all Rohit Bhardwaj 276,256 statuses and counting! Good day, good fun, good food, good company... That was my day... Now it's done, good night all :-) Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Showing statuses tagged goodnight Rohit Bhardwaj 276,256 statuses and counting! To all my friends who have just wo en up - Good morning - And to all my friends who are off to bed - Goodnight. I thin I'm gonna try this thing that I hear people tal ing about all the time. ..."leave the house." Later, peeps! This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it's not, because morning suc s.

____ Kids are so ungrateful! My generation's zombies didn't run. They wal ed...U phill...In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they li ed it. (No bo Dy)

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

____ This year for Christmas, I'm writing statuses for all my Faceboo friends. It's cheap and they'll be funnier... Win, Win. (Mustache Mann) ____ Is it just me, or did anyone else wa e up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning? (SamGirl Sunday) ____ If you're out shopping today and you notice the floor feels weird it's beca use you're standing on someone's aunt. (William Hale) ____ Love ma es your heart race, but so does methamphetamine.. so it'll probably ma e you feel good for a little while and then you'll die. (Toni Daniels) ____ Dear Santa: I have been good for the past wee or so. Lets just focus on th at. (Helen Long) ____ That would suc if your name was Ric Shaw and you lived in China. (Arthur Mabry) ____ No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber. (Kristie Jac son) ____ I can't help but feel insulted when that voice on the spea er calls me a Wa lmart shopper. (Nobo Dy) ____ Sorry, I don't now why that happened. Faceboo made all these changes and they randomly bloc ed a bunch of my friends that I can't stand. (Arthur Mabry) ____ That aw ward moment when someone really hot tal s to you and you suddenly f orget what language you spea . (Shafique Khatri) ____ The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant ha s pric s on the OUTSIDE. (Ari Abalos) ____ You could probably bounce a coin off my abs if you have low expectations of bouncing and are a money-throwing weirdo. (Mya Sisnice) ____ I'm already done with my Christmas Shopping! Yeah, I'm easy to buy for. (Mu stache Mann) ____ I'd bite my nails less if there wasn't always chocolate frosting under them . (SamGirl Sunday) ____ This random acts of indness thing is hard. I m going bac to violence. (Nobo D y) ____ I hate when the definition of a word has other words in it that I have to l oo up also. (William Hale) ____ Just changed my wifi name to, "I watch you get na ed" to stir up some chatt er before the neighborhood Christmas Party...Also, because I do. (Harley Quinn) ____ My psychologist didn't really mean it when she encouraged me to bare all ... ( Donny Norris) ____ doesn't exercise on wee ends because I now that at some point I'll be runn ing in heels and climbing through a 2nd story window. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ I had a tal with my friend about the past, the present and the future.. it was tense (Adam Apple) ____ Apparently the sub-woofer I hoo ed up in my office earlier this morning is NOT appropriate for a wor environment but I was playing Christmas carols so I am cl aiming religious persecution. (Rae Broman) ____ I'm not li e most people. I judge the boo and the cover separately. (Toni Daniels) ____ When are we all going to stop pretending that Hyper-Color underwear wouldn' t have been pretty awesome? (SamGirl Sunday) ____ Please, if I ever offend you, it's because I meant to. (Nobo Dy) ____ If weed was ever legalized, I can't wait to see the commercials. (Xaviera L eeloo) ____ If you ever get caught loo ing over the dressing room wall while stal ing s omeone just simply as "hey, do you now what time it is?". That ta es the creep y out of it. (Tim Beavin) ____ I tried to daydream but my mind wanders (Rita Fila ia) ____ Innuendo, a word that defines itself. (Justin John Bernard) ____ Never mind the meaning of life, I'd just settle for someone telling me how to put on a shirt without getting deodorant down the side of it. (Harley Quinn) ____ Tater Tots = Little potatoes that are snac s. Hater Tots = Little ids that are a$$holes. (William Hale) ____ My O face is exactly the same face of me loo ing at a plate of bacon. (Nobo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

   

Dy) ____ The only reason I got into business was the hope that one day I could start answering my phone with "Go!". (SamGirl Sunday) ____ Just once I would li e the pilot to say "Hey gang, who here wants to just eep flying and see where we end up?" (Chris Hallman) ____ 33% of married women say their pet is a better listener than their husband. And 100% of pets say this crazy woman won't shut up. (John Jordan) ____ For Christmas this year I'm giving the ids the same thing I always give th em: something to cry about. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ I'm done with tuc ing in shirts. Too many people complaining I'm invading t heir "personal space." (Mya Sisnice) ____ Don't you hate when the person you're Faceboo -stal ing never updates anyth ing? (Tom Guntorius) ____ People will always tal about you behind your bac when you are way ahead o f them. (Donny Norris) ____ Now that Than sgiving is over, can we please go bac to being ungrateful ba stards? (Danny Coleiro) ____ always tries to snea X-Men characters into my conversation. That's just pa rt of my Mystique. (William Hale) ____ would rather miss the 3-point-shot than ma e it and have no one see. (Donny Norris) ____ Whenever I'm at the playground I li e to push ids on the swings. If you pu sh hard enough you can noc the wind out of them and then there's no line for t he slide.(Lisa James) ____ But what if bygones want to be something else? (Leilani Christi) ____ I li e to start conversations with 'zymurgy', so that if it becomes an argu ment I can be 100% certain that I've already had the last word. (Danny Coleiro) ____ having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. (Adam Apple) ____ I have a client sitting out in the waiting room absolutely ruining my Journ ey song since she has angry birds playing at top volume. I'm about to show her h ow Angry girl wor s when I sling shot a stapler at her face. (Donna Lee Ivins) ____ People with multiple personalities frea me out. Spea for yourself. You bo th shut up. (Adam Apple) ____ I'm probably gonna get some heat for this, but I'm turning up the thermosta t anyway. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ If someone calls you a frea just than them. Nothing throws people off li e a proud, polite frea . (Chris Hallman) ____ When I don't want to wait in line at the bar I tell the bouncer that I'm al so a bouncer. Then point to my boobs. ...Then ic him in the nads for laughing and slip through the door. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ I put the team in teamwor .. now you do the wor . (Adam Apple) ____ I'm not gonna lie, every time I stop at a red light, I secretly hope that t hose Chinese guys from "Better Off Dead" pull up beside me (Jac Olivar) ____ Does it mean I'm old because I remember the McDonald's sign saying "now ser ving #1" ? (Mustache Mann) ____ I love all my Faceboo friends ..except for you # 139. You, sir, are an a$$ hole. (Dennis Cox) ____ Don't now what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, g ive it to him na ed. (Jane Withsweet Tatts) ____ How about instead of wearing Shape Ups you just, you now... f***ing exerci se? (Toni Daniels) ____ This is my leftover status from Than sgiving. (Mustache Mann) ____ The good thing about water is that you can have it in your wor place. Now, what's special about VODKA is that it loo s li e water & ... (Renthia Nancy Kau ungwa) ____ To get the ladies in the office gossiping about themselves, I hid a can of opened and rotten tuna in the ladies room trash can. (Mustache Mann) ____ Just finished reading the fifth boo in the "learning to count" trilogy. (N obo Dy) ____ Dance li e no one's watching and post li e no one's listening...Because the

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then f*** it. it says the bottle's still full. Hot chic pic: You're in. (Mya Sisnice) ____ I can't help but care a little when I throw my hands in the air. (Mustache Mann) ____ My lactose intolerance brings all the soys to the yard. Unless it's a dar place. the iCaramba. (Arthur Mabry) ____ I never thin faster than when my wife starts a conversation with "You have n't listened to a word I've said. and when I say "chewing on squid". (Nobo Dy) ____ I wish I could say I don't miss hangovers.." (Harley Quinn) ____ I LOVE chewing on squid.. (Lisa Hanson) ____ Apple is loo ing to expand its mar et share among Latinos. Every time I use the dip stic to chec . not a follower.I am pretty sure he is stal ing me. just write a short s entence and then add Sent from my iPhone.. No word yet on t he release date of their newest device.O ay.sounds li e Santa has OCD. (Rob P arsley) ____ "Can't wait to watch these cheesy-made-for-TV-Christmas-movies!" . We meet every Friday a t the bar.. Du de with interactions with no li ing ability: Message sent. (Mya Sisnice) ____ My car hasn't needed an oil change in over a year. (Robbie Evans) ____ I bet wrongly convicted death row inmates don't thin it's cute at all when the President pardons tur eys. It eeps urging me to go bac four y ears and turn left. Sorry. WTF? (Rae Broman ) ____ The average man has had sex in a car 15 times. I of course mea n drin ing bourbon til I pass out. Some random dude: Message sent. have you?" (Danny Coleiro) ____ Friend requests: Hot chic : You're in. (Rae Broman) ____ Told my four-year-old that he was a big boy now and that he should stop usi ng baby words. the economy. (Adam Apple) ____ I remember my childhood fondly. conspiracies. (William Hale) ____ Spotted the same hot guy on the elevator at wor two days in a row now. stupid.Matt Damon's Dad probably. I have a feeling this one is goi ng to wear out its welcome. I loo for those ramps li e in the Du es of Hazzard. scissors to decide who has to stay late to wor on a project today. "The Innebriati". Now we're going to watch Winnie the Sh*t on DVD.. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ Autocorrect is a who're! (Shannon Seymour) ____ If you don t feel li e writing a long email to somebody..oh.. paper. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ My yoga pants have come to terms with the fact that they are really just "s it on the couch & watch movies pants. (Dorraj Koob) ____ I just had a GPS installed in my life... rap pers. We call ourselves.no one ( Lisa James) ____ I have never ONCE seen a meter maid clean a par ing meter. Anyone I already now I don't li e: Hell no! Get a friend request from and you don't accept: I cry in my basement in the fetal position and wonder why for 48hrs. and the New World Order.and Daisey with those short shorts. (William Hale) ____ I found out that Santa wasn't real when my plan to drug him and rob his sle igh put my dad in the ER having his stomach pumped :( (Donny Norris) ____ The person above my post li es to be on top (Adam Apple) ____ Happy "Pretend Your Dog Knows How to Sign Its Name on Greeting Cards" seaso n! (Toni Daniels) ____ He's ma ing a list & chec ing it twice. (Donny Norris) ____ I'm a leader. So yeah. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ "I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BOURNE!" . you'r e going first! (Toni Daniels) ____ Belongs to an elite secret society that meets regularly to discuss world ev ents.y aren't.... That is something to eep in                                                                           . Funny interactions: You're in. "Li e" who re: You're in. (Nobo Dy) ____ suggested to my cowor er that we meet in the brea room and play a game of roc . He showed up unarmed so either he is about to forfeit or he misunderstood me bu t I'm about to stab him anyways. (Bar sdale Janell) ____ The voices in my head are telling me to stop being delusional and that I ha ve earphones on... Your statuses don't tal . (Danny Coleiro) ____ I don't mean to be negative but . I just loo for Daisey. Every time I drive down a dirt road.

(Cody Tuc er) ____ We're all mature. (Donny Norris) ____ Do you thin Michael Jac son will be the leader of the Zombie apocalypse? ( Tom Guntorius) ____ This is SH*T! . it s when they spr ead the truth that I m screwed (Adam Apple) ____ I must be pretty useful because a hot chic just called me a tool. (L isa James) ____ I failed the emergency broadcast test. something about bacon. Lasi Eye Surgerydeal.. (Mustache Mann) ____ O everybody. although I have every reason not to be.. I'm switching bac to F root Loops. (Robert Quinn) ____ Santa is getting Clasuer and Clauser (Adam Apple) ____ I thin that in the poem The Night Before Christmas the real reason Santa l aid his finger aside of his nose was because he was clearing the soot from his s                                                                      . (Chris Ha llman) ____ Anybody else feel insulted when an ugly person hits on them? (Justin John B ernard) ____ Gross!!! Beer does NOT taste good over Cocoa puffs. My apologies to all the people I sho ved to the ground while screaming "we're all gonna die!" (Heather Robbins-Puliaf ico) ____ The world needs a hero . (Justin John Bernard) ____ Life is short and sweet li e an oompa loompa that fell into a candy vat. If it needs to be said. so here is the plan. half offf the secomd eye.. (Dan ny Coleiro) ____ Some days even my luc y roc etship underpants won't help. (Arthur Mabry) ____ If you spea in third person it is safe to assume you are tal ing to yourself as no one wants to hang out with a douche bag. I am going to bed now.or cigarettes.mind next time you are loo ing for a used car! (Ni i Sholar Tucciariello) ____ I've always been that "Bridge Jumping" friend your parents tried to warn yo u about. Just li e it and move on. (Adam Apple) ____ I new I was drun . (Donny Norris) ____ doesn't mind that people start spreading rumors about me. l et me do the tal ing. If it needs to be done.. and will be up again tomorrow morning at around 8. (Shannon Seymour) ____ Algebra is a weapon of Math Distruction. until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap. (Tim Bea vin) ____ If I were a sex symbol it would probably be the "less than" symbol :< (Nobo Dy) ____ If you chew tobacco. I felt sophisticated and couldn t pronounce it. (Tom Guntorius) ____ How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shoo them? (J ac Olivar) ____ I just drew a jelly smile on my toast with a squeeze bottle but I still don 't believe it is happy.me pointing to a pile of dog poo.I'll go change my clothes (Carrie Leigh) ____ I'm as modest as the next guy.. I went camping that day. Ta e a brea ... Until then. (Jane Withsweet Tatts) ____ Dear Stal ers. don't waste Thousands of Dollars ta ing me to a Psyc hologist. We should be fine if we stic to the plan. (SamGirl S unday) ____ Soi farI mm pretry happy withh the resu ts of my Blacj Friday $59 firsr eye. (Lisa James) ____ Having a baby to save a marriage is a terrible idea but having one so u can board the plane 1st is actually inda clever. *BLEEP* is going to happen. We are a team. (Rae Broman) ____ I've just eaten* sixteen bunches of grapes** *drun **bottles of wine (Danny Coleiro) ____ If I ever get Amnesia. (Danny Colei ro) Everyody was NOT ung-fu fighting. let me do it. Just show me my Faceboo account. (Imraan Jussab) ____ I thin the hardest thing about being a vegetarian would be hiding your sta sh of bacon and stea s from your vegetarian girlfriend. (Phil 'Barle y' Ewens-Wheat) ____ I don't now. I'm gonna go ahead and assume you can't afford health insurance..

(Bob Brittain) ____ My neighbour's dog wouldn't shut up so I gave him a "bar ing tic et. but then you get all concerned and as me how I now them. (OverDose) ____ I enjoy the challenge of oncoming traffic. (Arthur Mabry) ____ It's alright guys. "And I didn't brush my teeth either..." (Jenni M ore) ____ Why do people add me on Faceboo and never say anything? ..I'll pu t caps in your ass.Somebody who isn't me.. Santa will be giving all bad little boys and girls Nic elbac CDs (Thomas Christopher) ____ :-)~~~~ Gene Simmons smiley face. (Tom Guntorius) ____ I thin that little thing that would stop me from hitting the post/comment/ li e/ is bro en (Donna Pedersen Watson Hudon) ____ During a meeting today. (Mya Sisnice) ____ When I get multiple friend requests on MySpace. probably (Julie A Ostmann) ____ I love getting up early in the morning and going for a nice long run.. (Jac Olivar) ____ Why is it that people who spit when they tal are the same damn people who thin that they have to be right up in your face for you to hear them? (Donny No rris) ____ I always ma e sure to change very provocatively just in case I have a stal er.. Oh how we laughed. OR ELSE. ( Danny Coleiro) ____ is posting my thought for the day: ..The main reason I'm not a vegetarian.. (Michael T. . (Khayya Currie) ____ Today's hairstyle is called. I'd punch a you for a waffl e ma er. And maybe I did.. (Xaviera Le eloo) ____ Why is it that the same people who tell you that you seem distant are the v ery ones who are too close for comfort? (Donny Norris) ____ Can't quite recall whether or not I canceled my date for Friday night or no                                                                       . all of you hot ladies on Faceboo : You become increasing less attracti ve with every issy faced self portrait you upload. done! (Carla Cervantes) ____ Caps are powerful because when you say "I am very very happy".. (Jerry King) ____ I don't care what the expiration date says.. Step 1: get to now them.. Just hanging a round watching li e a rapist in a van.. Mandolfo) ____ BACON ( Noun).. I don't want to be a disappointment to anyone! (Aunna Starr Herbel) ____ A guide to hating people. we give than s for the things we have. You don't have to li e anything. I already love myself. we fight peop le for cheap products made in China.inus passages. I have to smell it. my pager goes crazy.now there's something better than me?!?!" ~ sliced bread (Jac Olivar) ____ Next person to call me short will be ic ed in the butt!!! That's all I can reach anyways. follo wed by an intense wor out at the gym. (Nobo Dy) ____ a b c d e f g h I j l m n o p q r S T F U v w x y z (Shafique Khatri) ____ The only thing we have to cheer is beer itself. (Nobo Dy) ____ "So wait... (Jane Withsweet Tatts) ____ Somewhere in the world right now a couple is patiently waiting for Viagra t o ic in. (Charissa Sharp Evans) ____ Hey. (Donny Norris) ____ Dear Faceboo : You eep offering up people for me to "friend"." I don t thin he too me seriously. (Jenni fer Holmes Medel) ____ I usually will only lift heavy objects when a pretty woman is in my presenc e. it isn't as meaningful as when you say "I am HAPPY!" USE YOUR CAPS WISELY. my boss suddenly dropped dead.. You can't be the pimp and the cop ! (Xaviera Leeloo) ____ The best way to clear the slate with a girl is to tell her that you're worr ied about how thin she's been loo ing lately. (Tim Beavin) ____ I spend most first dates as ing a girl about the street she grew up on & he r first pet's name so I'll at least have access to her passwords. But then again.~me (Andrew Steven Tafoya) ____ One day. (Nobo Dy) ____ Due to a coal shortage. (Thomas Christopher) ____ I only tip cows if their service is outstanding. The next day.

Red Bull. (Nobo Dy) ____ If Faceboo has taught us anything.. "T hat's us in 10 years. I just age against the machine. (Lisa James) ____ I got a close up loo at a Smart Car.. (Toni Daniels) ____ I'm a pathological liar. Tomorrow I will challenge hus band and id to a game of hide and go see and then snea out and go to a hotel.. (Mya Sisnice) ____ After watching Twilight last night I am convinced that Bella and I have some things in common. (Shawn Troxel) ____ When people as me "Plz" just because it's shorter than "Please". (Harley Quinn) ____ I can tell you nice things but they'll all be about me. (Donny Norris) ____ BLAHLALALALALALALA! ~ My "fall bac " response if I see I'm losing the argum ent.. (Gitsri )                                                                                       . (Mi e Foster) ____ A little annoyed that my GPS gives me directions for my trip according to i f I'm traveling by car or foot. (Harley Quinn) ____ The guy in line next to me at Walmart is buying a 12 pac and a Snuggie. True story. We both attract closeted homosexuals . "That's a mirror". but not by LSD. I'll be glad to send a picture (Jac Oli var) ____ Good Morning Bitches! Not dead and very much alive. Ehh.it's just two mopeds. Wo nder how his social life is going? (Jac Olivar) ____ When I got to the part of the job application that as ed.. (Nobo Dy) ____ In the sitcom of my life I share an apartment with a prostitute and every n ight before bed I'd say "sleep tight" Oh how we'd laugh. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ Four Whores and seven beers ago~ Abraham Drin in' (Mustache Mann) ____ illed a spider with my wife s bare hands (Adam Apple) ____ *nodding head* "Oh. I just want to punch people in the face so they don't ma e the same mista es that I did! (Amber Delaney Moss) ____ Why do people say "your guess is as good as mine"? No.. (Rae Broman) ____ I thought the voices in my head actually li ed me until I found out they le arned sign language just so they could tal sh*t about me..I feel per fectly justified to answer "No" just because it's shorter then "Yes".. So if you wanna now what the face of depression loo s li e.t. (Jane Withsweet Tatts) ____ I guess ta ing pics of your food has finally replaced ta ing your pic in th e bathroom mirror? Great. now I get to see that you can't coo OR clean. Used as a verb as in "MY WIFE IS BITCH'IN" is bad.. (Chris Hallman) ____ I've had enough family frea in' togetherness. a beach chair and some paper mache. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ Drin ing a S inny Girl margarita & all of a sudden I feel li e a reality wh ore. (See More) ____ I'm not a hypocrite. it's not. "How much money p er hr/per yr" I wrote "How much you got?" because I didn't wanna sound greedy. but we both now that if you really did give me wi ngs I'd just brea them flying into a window.and neither one of us can act. (Nobo Dy) ____ You now there s a pill for that what I would li e to say to most people I meet . I understand now!" ~ me not understanding anything that you're saying (Mustache Mann) ____ At this point. (OverDose) ____ Than s anyway.so I guess we eep go ing on with the Ha Ha's.." She said. it's that we're not quite ready for a S pelling Bee. Shout out to vod a for eeping things exciting! (Rae Broman) ____ You now what really gets under my s in? An insulating layer of subcutaneou s fat.. I'll get over it once I finish this cool sandc astle! (Tim Gauthier) ____ I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend. My guesses are the best. (Donny Norris) ____ It's suc s seeing my ids growing up :( Now I feel inda' funny playing in their sandbox all by myself. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ BITCH'IN: Used as an adjective as in "MY WIFE IS BITCH'IN" is good. (Shauna Parsons) ____ I just wo e up from a 2 hour nap when I wasn't tired.

Grandma's fine! . (Lisa James) ____ Today's Faceboo forecast: Partly boring. and a really goo d chance of bulls**t. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ It s cute how the outdoors tries to compete with the internet. (Xaviera Leeloo) ____ Sometimes I wear a cape because I'm a SUPER MUTHER F**KER! (Jane Withsweet Tatts) ____ "Misery loves company. flashing his light and hon ing. (W illiam Hale) ____ If you get a tattoo on your face you can pretty much guarantee you are no l onger anyone's emergency contact. just idding! I wi sh I was dead.. I sped up on purpose so you would have to t a e that exit. huuuuuuuh??. Improver of t-shirt contests. (Rae Broman) ____ that aw ward moment when the server hands me the mixed girly drin and my b oyfriend my beer.you should probably now that I am already drowni ng in debt..Believes that no one is a better judge of character than old dogs and little babies.there'll be no Christmas ever.Giver of life . (Harley Quin n) ____ If I owe you an apology.. FYI . Btw .. Please stop putting cereal in my box of marshmallows. (Lisa James) ____ insert a funny status here: ________ because I f***ing give up. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ To the idiot who got behind me. increased drama. and it's a LOOOOOONG frea ing way before you will have a chance t o turn around... (Jennifer Holmes Medel) ____ Roc Stars and Cops have so much in common. (Charissa Sharp Evans) ____ I once stood in the bac and said "Everyone attac !!". (Grandma's not loo ing so great now is she?) (SamGirl Sunday) ____ I thin the mista e a lot of us ma e is thin ing the state-appointed shrin is our friend (Tom Guntorius) ____ If only the good die young then maybe Santa shares his list with the Grim R eaper.my entire childhood I thought used popsicle stic s were nives. :((Toni Daniels) ____ I'm open to new things if they are similar to old ones and get me high or d run or laid. (Bob Britta in) ____ WATER . upside down in a ditch. but it didn't turn i nto a ballroom blitz. I wo e up... and then tr ied to pass me on the shoulder: Yes. (MindFrea Covert Operative) ____ Don't worry ids. Destroyer of witches . They both want you to have your hands in the air. ever again.so. it didn't actually say that but.. HA! (Donny Norris) ____ loves technology! My car just told me that I was too drun to drive! Well. "Clean this nasty house!" My body says. I can't seem t o find either one. (Adam Apple) ____ thin s that my dignity and boundaries are hanging out again. Th                                                                             . (Jenni More) ____ My mind says.(Donny Norris) ____ The road less traveled does not have 3G.It's Santa that got run over by a rein deer. shut up!" (Je nni More) ____ My life has become a never ending game of "illegal or just frowned upon?" ( Xaviera Leeloo) ____ You can tell how much someone respects you based on the quality of silverwa re they put out when setting the table.. (Rae Broman) ____ When you wor 7 days a wee EVERY DAY IS FRIDAY!!! Haha. S core! (Juliet Abram) ____ To ma e a long story short: Stry.____ Cows would live longer if they weren t made of stea and leather jac ets (Ada m Apple) ____ Just went to the Disli e community page on faceboo and li ed three things. "Bitch. (Nobo Dy) ____ <------. it must have been trying to tell me that. (Mustache Mann) ____ Occasionally I li e to loo through my old statuses and smile smugly at my spar ling wit..I'm turning around." must have been the driving force behind bring your child to wor day. (Donny Norris) ____ Dear Luc y Charms.

(Julie A Ostmann) ____ When someone says literally..probably nows me pretty da mn well. (Carrie Danley) ____ wanna go deaf for a few minutes? bring a bolt to an amusement par . NEW FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES. (Chris Hallman) ____ Just pointed at my bag of gummie shar s and said "you're next" as I wal ed out of the itchen with a piece of toast. and then leave again. (Nobo Dy) ____ Ladies: If after one date you tell me.so. Get on a roller coaster with a person who loo s terrified. (Shannon Seymour) ____ Sometimes I feel li e porn is the least embarrassing thing I loo at on the internet. so I'm assuming my imaginary doctor boyfriend is off saving lives or something. That's SO li e him! (Mya Sisnice) ____ True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.. (Mya Sisnice) ____ My inner voices are giving me all sorts of New Year's resolution ideas. (Knee Kuuipo Kahalehili) ____ Every scar tells an interesting story. you're exactly li e me!" That inda scares me off. I'm afraid you have no soul. (Leila ni Christi) ____ Better get off of Faceboo soon. (Rae Broman) ____ If there is one thing I've learned in life: an opossum is a flat animal tha t sleeps in the middle of the road. Hands. (Hollywood Allan) ____ Doctors write the prescriptions illegibly so you can't see that it says: "T his one has insurance. hold u p the bolt and say. I should really get t hem a Faceboo account. The world i s full of liars. get Tom all excited. "OMG... ____ feels guilty for not spending more time with my ids. With ids... I now what I'm li e. Except acne scars." -Faceboo . (from my FAN PAGE) ?____ 50 years from now I will post new status updates from my imaginary phone a t the nursing home and laugh and laugh and cr y and mumble a bunch of crap about you people. ____ If you write "Happy Birthday" on someone's Faceboo wall with no exclamatio n point.. and these cats won't Be dazzle themselves.. No wait. those are pretty boring stories. Don't ill him. "Wait.. When the ride starts. (from my FAN PAGE) Faceboo Status updates about Faceboo : ____ wishes that Faceboo had a "drama of the day" section to refer to in my fee d. 11/10/11: Myspace Fun: ____ Practical jo e idea: All of us go bac to Myspace for one wee ." (Sean Shipley) ____ wo e up thirty minutes ago. That's just the dishwasher running. I pretend I'm the Soup Nazi from Se infeld: "No soup for you!" and then I laugh and laugh. It's Friday night. So yeah. (Dan ny Coleiro) ____ Well.badly. It was just a long uncomfortable silence till the operator said ma e it quic . he never showed up for our date.. call me. (Jenni More) ____ Whenever I bloc someone from Faceboo . (Lisa Hanson) ____ accidentally called a phone sex line for married people.cramping.                                                                       ... most of the times its not literal. (Toni Daniels) I will add more later.an you. and it's already been "one of those days".. probably. ____ "You're going to develop crushes on lots of sexy and funny people who happe n to be married now. big night ahead of me. (Nobo Dy) ____ GODDAMMIT!!! YOU GUYS ARE ON MY FRIENDS LIST BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIK E EVERYTHING I POST!!!! ~ Everyone.where did this come from?" (Xaviera Leeloo) ____ I too one of my girlfriends vitamins this morning and if anybody wants to go shoe shopping or as my opinion on curtains. (Thomas Christopher) ____ I hate having to explain myself. Don't as me why.(Mustache Mann) ____ The next person that tells me I have no shame...

028 statuses and counting! No matter how well you behave with people around you.So I go bac to bed.. I've been very good today. Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273. "this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. you can only hide crazy for so long.028 statuses and counting! The person who tries to eep everyone happy and always cares for every one is al   Just a reminder that you don't have to tell Faceboo p tal ing. I probably don' t need a receipt." "I don't care how much you hate this person. or my dog has finally figured out the computer. Compliments: ____ If you thin you're going to get me to li e you by complimenting me over an d over again. ____ Either I wrote a bunch of drun en Faceboo status updates last night. Crazies: ____ Try as you might. My horoscope says "Go bac to bed. but I'm about to get up now and I may need your help :-) Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273. Screaming Adele's songs to my dog. You can just sto                         .028 statuses and counting! Dear Lord." My favorite moment of the day is deciding I'm not going to do anything productiv e. THEY will treat YOU accord ing to their NEED & MOOD Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273. ____ is wearing my pajamas and buying booze at 10am on a Monday.           -Faceboo goodnight. (from my FAN PAGE) Love: ____ You now you really love somebody when you despise them a little. Laying on my floor. That moment is now. Every morning when my alarm goes off I thin . With a bottle o f Jac Daniel's. too. I li e to eep the dream alive. no swearing and I have n't been mean at all. How am I gonna spend Valentine's Day? Na ed. I REALLY suggest you two be friends ..Booze: ____ Vod a is just amazing water." That's odd. it will be over soon. well I have some news for you. buddy! That sh*t wor s. no grumpy thoughts.

. I saw it through my telescope last night. too a deep breathe of fresh air...my nights are going sleepless. I thin my neighbor is stal ing me as she's been googling my name on her compute r.. sipped a Dew.ways the most lonely person..'strange but true' Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273. 09. Going through the profiles and as ing myself..5..so i as ed my heart i s it love? heart replied no dear.                 . "You should've come with us!" well.. Most people don't now how to ta e u seriously.028 statuses and counting! I am thin ing about something I shouldn't be thin ing about but I'm still gonna thin about it anyway. I saw it through my Funny : 11 Not Funny Category: funny status stal ing me as she's been googling my name on her compute telescope last night. :) Shuffle Favorites Add Your Own Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273.028 statuses and counting! Warning: Status Updates are for fun and amusement if you are offended or insulte d please ta e 2 happy pills and try to remember not everything is about you Just stepped outside.11 @ 23:22pm         When you're a funny person.. inviting me would've helped. What a perfect morning. Joined the Christian Mingle dating site today.028 statuses and counting! my days are getting useless.evil schemes don't dream themselves up.the exams are near!!! Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273.028 statuses and counting! The Golden Rule of Relationships: "Never hold on to someone who doesn't want to be held" Go Pro | Invite Friends | Help Rohit Bhardwaj 273. "Who would Jesus do?" Have you ever wondered about the loo on someone's face if you hide under their     I thin my neighbor is r.. closed my eyes. what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on! off to bed. : 0 update on Monday.

09.11 @ 15:00pm Don't exercise . and there are times when I m sober. 09. I m at wor .15. Didn't li e the feeling.15. but I'm still loo ing.17. 09.but apparently that's not done at this hotel.17. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Thursday..11 @ 18:55pm thin s the voices in my head are out of beer.. 09.11 @ 11:50am There may be no excuse for laziness.15.17.15.15. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny drin ing status update on Saturday. Funny : 2 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday...11 @ 19:41pm is at the par .11 @ 19:26pm My therapist says I should quit tal ing to myself.11 @ 08:01am 10 times out of 9. Try a different o ne each day. 09. 09. There are so many new ones. 09.. you ll find me exaggerating about something Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Friday...11 @ 19:20pm I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday. in which case..11 @ 19:18pm tried being normal. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 09.goodnight! It's all fun and games until the cops show up.16. I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "                                   .11 @ 19:40pm thin s there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday.11 @ 19:36pm After dinner I li e to sit in the garden in my underwear and smo e a cigarette.15. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday.11 @ 08:04am is in that aw ward phase of the day between never drin ing again and noon. fat people are harder to idnap Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. . Funny : 3 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Thursday. Funny : 10 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday.15. 09..11 @ 08:02am Never ma e the same mista e twice. 09.17.. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 19:18pm While it was raining today.17. 09. Unless you re my boss.bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to thin abou t. so I'm going bac to being ME. 09. 09..

I don't now what upset her most.11 @ 22:24pm Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle Funny : 9 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. That would be me..15..21.21..11 @ 19:15pm I guess today has been pretty good. 09.11 @ 19:17pm I bro e up with my girlfriend by e-mail.11 @ 16:53pm Maybe Oscar wouldn't have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared a bout the fact that he's homeless Funny : 7 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 16:51pm Your call is very important to us.11 @ 19:16pm Please don't ma e me choose between you and porn. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.21. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo. 09. I haven't had to slap one single person yet. ... 09.21.15.11 @ 19:13pm Remember that there s always someone cooler.11 @ 19:14pm They say that alcohol ills slowly.11 @ 22:16pm I didn't want to grow up.. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!? Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny drin ing status update on Thursday.15.. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. always remember to put the box in your neighbor's trash so you don't get robbed. 09.21. Funny : 12 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. is astounding! I hate it when I write a sarcastic Faceboo status and someone who doesn t spea s arcasm has to comment and ruin it.15.. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. smarter. stronger or sexier than you.. 09. 09.I'm melting I'm melting!" Funny : 2 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday. the f act that I did it by email or the fact that I cc'd my new girlfriend who wanted proof.11 @ 19:12pm Ya Know?!?.The number of ways I could care less... Funny : 9 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Thursday.15. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday.15. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday. 09. 09. 09.11 @ 16:54pm When buying a flat screen tv.11 @ 16:50pm Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets?? Funny : 8 Not Funny : 4                 . 09. 09.21. 09. I just wanted to be able to reach for the coo ies..

11 @ 16:30pm Can only please one person a day. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. but you can decide which windo w to throw them out of." Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny drin ing status update on Tuesday.11 @ 16:39pm Why is it so hard to find an exercise bi e with a nice little bas et where I can put my nachos? Funny : 7 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday... 09.my faceboo page has been hac ed.11 @ 16:44pm You can't always decide who wal s into your life.21. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.19. 09.11 @ 23:41pm People who copy and paste jo es from other s status messages are idiots A few second s ago Li e Comment Funny : 13 Not Funny : 5   I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on faceboo nobody li es your status. 09. 09..so fvc it! Funny : 7 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Monday.19.11 @ 05:09am Attention.20.11 @ 23:45pm My smo e detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great coo . :( Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Monday.Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 09. 09.19. But everyone seems to li e the new guy better. I'll ta e a Dirty Hammoc . "Yeah.19. 09.21. Today isn t your day Funny : 3 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 06:41am I li e to eep bartenders on their toes by ma ing up drin s on the spot. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Monday. 09.19. but I don t have any crayons with me.. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Monday.21.11 @ 23:43pm and then                                       .20.11 @ 05:09am Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.11 @ 23:44pm Id explain it to you.19. 09.11 @ 23:42pm More funny statuses will be posted here soon Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Monday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. Depressing. me too actually. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Monday.21.11 @ 06:42am Only awesome people are allowed to LIKE this status! Funny : 11 Not Funny : 7 Category: funny status update on Wednesday..11 @ 23:45pm I'm a good singer. 09.. 09. 09. 09.21.

witty.Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best. 09. 09. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday.18.11 @ 10:43am Happiness is realizing you can have as many drin s as you want . 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 . the first few days were the hardest! Funny : 3 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Sunday..18. funny. hilarious. 09. Love li e you were on a reality T V show. and dance li e you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 10:42am I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he ha s it." Funny : 11 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday..11 @ 10:33am You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drun ta es getting home? .18. Funny : 13 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Sunday...11 @ 10:42am Survival rule #1: Don't go first. 09. 09. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(: Funny : 4 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 10:48am I saw something that reminded me of you.11 @ 10:47am Wor li e you don't have proof of citizenship.11 @ 10:45am I'd li e to than the person who loo ed at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Thos e ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I now it..11 @ 10:44am People who wal in front of the theatre screen while you're watching a pirated m ovie on your computer are so rude. 09. silly Faceboo statuses. 09.18..18. crazy.. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 2 19 joined a nudist colony last wee .it                                       . cause you're not driving.18. 09.. current page = 174 // 1 .18. you can find the status to get them here. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny drin ing status update on Sunday..11 @ 10:40am So how many po es does it ta e before its considered a heavy petting? Funny : 9 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 09.18.18..

18.11 @ 10:31am There is nothing li e sitting na ed in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 09. I m going bac to bed. 09.11 @ 10:02am Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap? Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my sh oe. I am doing my part to conserve energe.18.18.18. a birth and a death certificate. and that's thing. Funny : 2 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Sunday..18. 09. Let them figure it out. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday. "probably just sh!tfaced" Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries   You can't buy happiness.. 09.11 @ 10:17am li es to end all my phone calls with "O . 09. 09.I sure hope they let me bac in Walmart..11 @ 10:25am Today. I don t use it anyway.18. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 10:30am You can loo at some people and instantly now they re only going to get two award s in life. I'll see you later on at the party!" a nd then quic ly hang up.11 @ 10:27am "Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.11 @ 09:57am Ta e my advice.18.18. Funny : 13 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 09. Funny : 2 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 09.11 @ 10:28am Things to do today..18. 09. but you can buy ice cream..11 @ 09:21am                     ind of the same . 09.18.s staggering! Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Sunday. ....11 @ 09:57am Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says.

get out the Slip-n-Slide.11 @ 04:33am The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.21.21. 2 19 Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.23. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.. current page = 172 // 1 .11 @ 23:18pm I don t drin to forget. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday. 09.11 @ 23:22pm You thin I m mean? If only you new what I say in my head. They have over 20 0 of them. silly Faceboo statuses. Funny : 3 status update on Friday.11 @ 04:31am Some people see to get a life & Funny : 8 Not Category: funny a glass as half empty. I what was I saying? Funny : 4 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny drin ing status update on Wednesday. 09. 09. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.21. 09.21.11 @ 23:20pm Don t brea anyone s heart. 09. hilarious.11 @ 04:24am There s a wild side to EVERY innocent face. 09. 09.11 @ 04:28am Best thing about being single -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS! Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday.23.. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.23. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday. 09.11 @ 23:24pm Help eep America beautiful. I am so exhausted.11 @ 04:20am My internet went down. you can find the status to get them here. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments. Most need do something besides stare at glasses.11 @ 23:30pm When Life rains on your parade. 09.Hundreds of the best.11 @ 23:17pm I thought about exercising all day long. witty.11 @ 04:23am That amazing moment when you post a comment on Faceboo and everyone li es it. Some see a glass as half full. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4                         .23... Stay in your house today. funny. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. Brea they re bones. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password. 09. crazy. 09. 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 .23. they only have one. 09. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.21.23.21.

On Wednesdays.21. 2 19 I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm.21.11 @ 22:41pm I thin I need to lose some weight..21... 09. 09. 09. 09.11 @ 08:36am                             .11 @ 22:30pm Relationships are li e yard sales.21. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.24.. Don't worry if you can't come Funny : 2 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Saturday.24. remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.11 @ 22:29pm Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stic ers off mil cartons and stic them on anything you needed Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up roc i ng myself to sleep Funny : 13 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.. 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 .24.Category: funny status update on Wednesday.24.11 @ 08:42am My advice for pretty much anything that's bro en is "did you try and jiggle it?" . Hard liquor. 09. 09.21.24. I wish this woman would hurry up and pic a suspect. In June... Funny : 8 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 09.21..21. 09.11 @ 22:28pm So I'm giving up drin ing.11 @ 08:48am Hmmm Who should I stal on Faceboo now? :) Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Saturday. (Mayb e.11 @ 08:44am Have you ever loo ed at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately co mes to mind? Funny : 3 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 22:44pm Whenever you feel li e a genius.11 @ 08:43am Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes! Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. 09. Next year.11 @ 22:37pm OMG . I hate waiting in lines . Funny : 12 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 22:34pm Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don't want to see flying a t my face. 09. 09. They loo good from a distance but you get there & realize its just a bunch of sh!t you dont need. 09..) current page = 171 // 1 .

09. 09. this one is red and has more liquor. Funny : 2 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday. 09.23. life isn't about accumulating stuff. but don't be fooled. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny drin ing status update on Friday.23.11 @ 05:01am                                   . 09.. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday.11 @ 05:12am Remember. 09.23.23.11 @ 22:43pm I'm easily influenced. 09. 09.11 @ 22:39pm only fights if pillows are present. for emergencies.11 @ 07:49am I bet you 20 dollas I'm bro e Funny : 7 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Friday. I thought this was impressive because not m any people can pronounce asteris s.11 @ 05:13am All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.11 @ 05:07am That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what yo u re watching Funny : 15 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday. now they are just the islands.23.. My one vice is my iPhone.I only drin on two occasions. 09. that and lying abou t drin ing and gambling. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday.11 @ 17:38pm Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" .23. 09. It's about ma ing people insanely jealous of your stuff.11 @ 07:31am love a girl with a trimmed bush because it ma es it easier to see into her windo w at night. Suc it mete r maids! Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Friday.23. That's why I try not to watch too much porn Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday.23.. I don t drin .23..11 @ 07:52am I don't gamble. 09.23. 09.11 @ 22:42pm I removed my windshield wipers and now I don't get par ing tic ets. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny drin ing status update on Friday. It loo s li e all my other its.23. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday.23. You now. 09. 09. when its my birthday and when its not.23. Well.11 @ 08:14am I just made an emergency survival it. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday.11 @ 05:03am Went to the virgin islands.

23. hilarious. the whole world does revolve around me.. you can find the status to get them here.11 @ 14:02pm I have a hidden talent..25.. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments. 09.11 @ 14:25pm Helpful Tip : The police never thin it's as funny as you do. 2 19 As a matter of fact. 09... crazy. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4                     .11 @ 14:14pm If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome.I really wish I could find it! Funny : 7 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Sunday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday. witty. 09..Some people just lac the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants the m to shut up.11 @ 04:39am Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best.11 @ 14:23pm Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. 09.11 @ 14:28pm I flun ed anger management class. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Friday. 09. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Sunday.) Funny : 4 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday. funny. 09. Some things ma e you go ugh! I ma e you go "Did he really just say that?" Funny : 4 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday. 09. 09.11 @ 04:58am Some things ma e you go hmm.25...25... Why is Handsome still a compliment? Funny : 12 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Sunday. current page = 170 // 1 .25. I was born awesome .25.23.. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.25. 09.11 @ 13:56pm The well behaved rarely ma e history.25. 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 . Funny : 7 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 14:28pm Don't blame me. silly Faceboo statuses.

09.24. 09. 09...25.24. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.24. goodnight!               ever wonder if one day ve 7 mutual friends on Funny : 10 Not Funny Category: funny status       somebody will come noc ing on your door and say Faceboo . 09.11 @ 15:52pm I've decided to go my own way and thin "inside the box" to be different . you only need two tools . 09.11 @ 15:47pm Have you ever wondered if God loo s down at you in a humorous moment. 09.24. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 15:48pm I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now! Funny : 2 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 15:46pm I hate it when teachers say. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. use the duct tape Funny : 6 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. 09. your life choices.just watch an ep isode of Hoarders and you'll be all good. and says "yeah I made that!" Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. I m going to post a statu s update about it & then use their site as much as always.24. 09. 09.24. if it wasn t I wou ldn t be laughing Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday.24.24. If it doesn't move but s hould. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 08:53am I swear. your sanity.11 @ 08:54am Insanity means never having to say I m Guilty .11 @ 13:53pm I m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people. 09.WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it should not move and does.24.Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 16:14pm Hey we ha ..11 @ 15:49pm *sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 16:05pm In life. Wow its dar in here! Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday. can I come in?" : 5 update on Saturday.24. 09.11 @ 08:51am I've been waiting for this moment ever since I got up. if Faceboo changes their layout one more time. You thin it s funny? Obviously it is. Stay in your house today. 09.11 @ 23:04pm Help eep America beautiful.24..24. chuc les t o himself. use the WD-40. 09.11 @ 22:23pm If you ever question yourself.

900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses Funny Jo es Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo               .Silly Statuses .

6. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments. 10." So I'm inspecting each animal before I eat it.11 @ 09:58am I just got ic ed out of the Zoo! How was I supposed to now that real hippos do n't actually eat marbles? Funny : 14 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. hilarious.7.11 @ 07:45am Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart a nymore isnt it?? Funny : 8 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. silly Faceboo statuses.7. 10. at least I ll now who to loo for. 2 20 Nothing is more heartbrea ing than unappreciated sarcasm! Funny : 8 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 23:21pm My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn.m. 10.. don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell..8. current page = 165 // 1 . So I started mowing. I suggest buying a smaller bra.11 @ 07:43am You say I m dirty minded.11 @ 22:34pm                           . 10.7.11 @ 23:18pm If anybody steals my identity.11 @ 22:55pm Nothing improves creativity li e a lac of supervision! Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Thursday. Funny : 10 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Friday. 10.. Funny : 12 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday.6. but how did you understand what I meant? Funny : 12 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Friday.7. 10. that as a general rule.. funny.11 @ 23:20pm I can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems.11 @ 23:16pm If the cup is only half full.6.11 @ 23:14pm They eep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 . but I havent caught one i n years. holding my rod.8. These neighbors are never happy. 10. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Thursday. 10. soooo I continue to sit here.8....11 @ 22:36pm My box of animal crac ers says "May contain nuts.Hundreds of the best. 10. Funny : 14 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday.8. you can find the status to get them here..just in case.I'd be succes sful and happy by now if it wasn't for them!!!! Funny : 5 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Friday. 10.7.. The cops showed up at 3 a.11 @ 08:52am wants to remind you this Halloween. 10. crazy.. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Friday. 10. witty.

11 @ 21:57pm Ta e time to reflect upon your day.   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo . 10.Silly Statuses   Life is harder for the beautiful people. 10. and everything you may be called to testify about :))) Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 16:24pm That urge you get to write No one gives a crap on someone s status.When I was a id and was going to "get it" that was bad. Some I love to avoid.5.. Thin of all the blessings you received.5. Some e to punch them in the Funny : 10 Not Funny Category: funny status I love to be around. "Your guess is as good as mine" because. : 5 update on Wednesday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny drin ing status update on Wednesday.11 @ 18:04pm has often thought that what doesn t ill us ma es us drin stronger liquor. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.6. 10. 10. it's no t. well... Funny : 5 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Wednesday..11 @ 16:16pm now.5. And some I d lov face.5.11 @ 16:17pm I never use the phrase. 10. I m sorry you ll never Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 10. 2 20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant.5.11 @ 16:18pm I don't have any s eletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the bac yar d! Funny : 5 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 . 10..5.                       .5. Now I'm an adult and I' m going to "get it" :) Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday.11 @ 16:15pm current page = 165 // 1 ..11 @ 16:19pm I love everybody. Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted. 10.

silly Faceboo statuses. crazy. 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 . hilarious...Silly Statuses .. 2 20       Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo                 . witty. funny. you can find the status to get them here. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments.900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses Funny Jo es Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best. current page = 164 // 1 ..

11 @ 21:17pm My ids thin I'm uncool li e I thought my parents where. 10. 10. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday. 10. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. ta e them off. Which way did you come in? Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just idding. .11 @ 11:32am Today's Faceboo forecast: Partly boring. 10.11 @ 15:18pm I just ran 3.11 @ 15:09pm gua su a sama amu Funny : 6 Not Funny : 8 Category: funny status update on Monday. 10.)   I start to feel really anxious when my wor piles up. 10. Please.11 @ 15:22pm You see a mouse trap. 10. I see free cheese and a challenge. Funny : 14 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday. I ate some ice cream.11 @ 15:29pm li es beer.11 @ 15:32pm My hearing is fine. increased drama. I never e first.8. I slept with a Brazilian man last night. 10. Funny : 18 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Saturday. There's no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.10.I'd li e to help you out. 10.11 @ 12:01pm Girl says to her Blonde friend. What's the point of being told I drin h by a room full of the reasons I drin in the first place? Funny : 12 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny drin ing status update on Saturday. The Blo nde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian?? Funny : 22 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday.8.10. Time to get even! .10.11 @ 21:10pm                                 too muc . Funny : 15 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Saturday. I will even drin beer to celebrate major events such a s the my birthday or the fact that that it's Monday. Funny : 10 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Monday. 10.11 @ 15:10pm Your clothes are ma ing me extremely uncomfortable. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny drin ing status update on Monday.) Funny : 15 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Monday.11 @ 15:29pm I either get what I want or I change my mind! Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday.8. and a really good cha nce of bullsh*t.10. 10.11 @ 10:20am now what to ignor   I don't understand interventions. 10.10.8.9.10.10. 10.10. On occasion.11 @ 21:21pm All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.

Silly Statuses                         . I as if their id is a "mean drun " or a "happy drun . 10.11 @ 10:05am Collecting my thoughts I almost have a whole set! .11 @ 10:00am I need to learn the rules to ma e sure I don't accidently follow them Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 10. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.8. 900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo .8. Funny : 13 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.8. I could probabl y afford a whole arsenal of Super Soa ers.8.Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 10:03am If you spea too slowly. Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted.11 @ 10:04am I ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date! Funny : 6 Not Funny : 7 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. 10... 2 20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant.) Funny : 7 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Saturday.. 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 .11 @ 10:17am If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up.8. 10. I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways t hat ma es your story much more interesting Funny : 9 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 10:06am When anyone as me to babysit.8.8. 10." Gets me out of it every time. 10.11 @ 09:59am current page = 164 // 1 . 10.

)       Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo                 . 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 .Silly Statuses . funny. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Wednesday..11 @ 22:41pm This beer is ma ing me awesome !! . I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments. 2 20 If something on this page offends you.Funny Jo es Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best. 10. you can find the status to get them here. please bring it to our attention so we ca n all laugh at you..12. current page = 163 // 1 . hilarious. silly Faceboo statuses.. witty. crazy..

They are pretty much harmless. loo busy Funny : 6 Not Funny : 12 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 07:22am SARCASM. 10.12.11 @ 22:18pm You would thin a popular place li e the Krusty Krab would have more than two em ployees.12..12.12. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 07:29am thin s that drin ing beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for h imself with one hand.12. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.) Funny : 9 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 06:54am If you can t face it. 10.That was a complete waste of money. 5% .11 @ 15:37pm   The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you. 10.I can t wait for the sequel. moon it.11. Just sayin Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 10.11. 10. all                   ill me . 10.11 @ 07:08am Would you li e to save money on your car insurance? Wal ..11 @ 20:20pm You can t believe everything you hear.12. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 9 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. until you put the m in your mouth and light them on fire.12.. But it gets boring . so I go bac to being m e. 10. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 7 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. 10..11 @ 15:30pm I m not in denial..11 @ 07:20am Things people say after watching a movie: 5% . but you can repeat it. . 10. 10.11.11 @ 23:51pm Sometimes I pretend to be normal. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny drin ing status update on Wednesday. 85% .11 @ 15:33pm status. 10.Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 21:41pm Tarantulas are li e cigarettes. would actually Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3     I'm pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Faceboo my friends would delete me.11.12..T hat was a great movie. 5% .I gotta pe e!! Funny : 13 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.Because beating the crap out of people is illegal. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.12.11 @ 06:52am Jesus is coming.. 10. I m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :) Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Wednesday. 10.

11 @ 06:24am I need u to do me a favor. I need to test m y bra es :) Funny : 14 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Monday. compassionate.10.11 @ 18:52pm hilarious Funny : 7 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Monday. and giving.11 @ 16:43pm current page = 163 // 1 . 10.11..11.11. 10.. I m just an idiot with i nternet access.11 @ 15:27pm Please don t ta e anything I say personal or too seriously. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. Stand in front of my car please... 900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses Funny Jo es   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo             . Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted. 2 20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant. understanding.. 10.Category: funny drin ing status update on Tuesday. 10. welcoming.. But not to today! Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. 10.11 @ 15:17pm really vry funny Funny : 5 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 15:23pm can be sympathetic.11. loyal. 10.. trust-worthy..Silly Statuses   . f orgiving. empathetic.10. 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 .

158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 .Silly Statuses . funny.Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best. 2 20 If your friends can accurately guess your age. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 10. Then I realize I've already seen this episode o f Jeopardy.11 @ 21:48pm Sometimes.11 @ 21:43pm       Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo               . you can find the status to get them here. hilarious.. witty. I thin I'm a genius. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Saturday.15.. crazy. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments.15. silly Faceboo statuses. you need to find dumber friends. current page = 162 // 1 .. 10..

14.14.15. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 0 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 10.11 @ 19:36pm I m actually not funny. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 7 Category: funny status update on Saturday. 10.14.11 @ 21:31pm Does this floor I m laying on ma e me loo unmotivated? Funny : 5 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Saturday.11 @ 16:37pm Don't you wish common sense would ma e a big comebac . 10.11 @ 16:36pm Our neighbor said he wouldn't mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at lea st put a robe on first. 10. The sha ing icons ma e me feel li e they' re all panic ed over who's getting deleted. 10.11 @ 17:47pm Note to self: Than s for always being there. Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday.14.14. 10.11 @ 21:35pm Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone. and use this status.14.14.11 @ 16:40pm They say you are what you eat but I don t remember eating a sexy beast.15. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday. 10. start living it! Funny : 4 Not Funny : 12 Category: funny status update on Friday. 10. Funny : 17 Not Funny : 7 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Friday.11 @ 16:37pm Currently training for when they inevitably ma e drin ing an Olympic sport.11 @ 22:48pm People li e you are the reason people li e me ta e pills. 10. 10. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny drin ing status update on Friday.11 @ 07:28am lol I rotfl Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 12 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday.14. 10.11 @ 16:35pm is giving everyone permission to steal.14.11 @ 16:34pm My death bed confession is going to be epic!                                     . 10.15.Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me. 10.11 @ 21:29pm Don't tell me to ma e myself at home if you don't want me to drop my pants and d ownload porn on your computer. I m just really mean & people thin I m jo ing. Funny : 12 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Friday. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Friday.14.11 @ 18:28pm lifes a laugh.14. 10.

11 @ 22:52pm current page = 162 // 1 .11 @ 10:40am When I say "It s a long story" It usually means I just don t want to tell you it.. My boss thin s I'm home sic . 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 .Silly Statuses                           . 10. 10.13. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.Funny : 7 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Thursday. Funny : 10 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday. 900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses Funny Jo es Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo .. These duc s thin I'm awesome because I have the bread.. 2 20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant.11 @ 10:45am My wife thin s I'm at wor . 10.11 @ 10:37am Although the voices aren't real.13.12. 10.13.. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday. they have some pretty good ideas. Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted.

17. you can find the status to get them here. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments. 10. I tend to drop things. silly Faceboo statuses. crazy. 10..17.17. witty. funny..11 @ 18:39pm My alarm cloc is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed. and who wants to do laundry o n the last day they re alive? Funny : 13 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Monday. 10. 10.. 10. 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 .Silly Statuses             . current page = 161 // 1 .18. meds are on the             Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo .17. Funny : 14 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday.li e my standards Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Monday...11 @ 15:22pm Welcome to my Faceboo wall.11 @ 22:40pm This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat ids! Funny : 8 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Monday. they would still be alive.SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best. hilarious. 2 20 lf the people in the movies listened to me.11 @ 18:18pm I can always tell when I'm drun . Funny : 8 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.. Straight jac ets are on your left.11 @ 16:14pm I try to live every day as though it were my last.

Funny : 4 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.17.16. .table. 10.16. 10.16.11 @ 13:06pm Being normal? Ugh.11 @ 19:56pm Faceboo should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status..coz I always wa e up with the crazi est hairstyles!! :D Funny : 2 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Sunday. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn't ta e and you're a demon who must be destroyed. 10. you can still get a seat in group therapy . Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 21:08pm Monday?! But.16. and if you hurry..11 @ 20:14pm I only say "bless you" twice. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday. Don't people answer their bathroom windows a nymore? Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday. we had to wal 10 miles in the snow to get drun .11 @ 22:27pm                         and have s x . 10.11 @ 10:40am I could of sworn my pillow's a hairdreeser.11 @ 10:38am I've been noc ing for ten minutes. Funny : 6 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday.16.15. After 3 it should default to "Unstable" Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.. . 10. 10. I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.11 @ 21:11pm Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on tal ing when you're interrupting! Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Sunday. when I wo e up my pillow w as gone! :O Funny : 6 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Sunday.16. 10. 10. I can't imagine how awful that must be.16.11 @ 20:06pm Faceboo needs a "slap a b!tch button" Funny : 11 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Sunday.11 @ 22:23pm loves poetry. 10.11 @ 16:29pm I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow. 10.16.17. have fu n! Funny : 3 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Monday.16. 10.11 @ 15:20pm faceboo ed yo mama!!! Funny : 4 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Monday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Sunday. 10. 10. long wal s and po ing dead things with a stic .11 @ 22:19pm     When I was your age..16.

15.15. 900+ Silly Statuses Drin ing Statuses Halloween Statuses Christmas Statuses Funny Jo es Pic up Lines Blonde Jo es Retro Sayings Inspirational Statuses Classic Movies My Buc et List Ideas 80's Hair Bands List   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo .11 @ 22:11pm The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.11 @ 22:08pm current page = 161 // 1 . 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 .. 10. 10..Silly Statuses               ... 2 20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant.wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!" Funny : 4 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Saturday. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Saturday. Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted.

Funny : 8 Not Funny : 6 Category: funny status update on Thursday..11 @ 18:11pm If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I'd have enough money to invest in a hitman Funny : 7 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Thursday. Funny : 28 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Thursday. crazy. witty. 10. 10. Funny : 17 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Thursday.Silly Statuses                 . 10. fast and with lots of mista es! Funny : 9 Not Funny : 5 Category: funny status update on Thursday.. when as ed "In the event of a fire..11 @ 15:40pm "Huh?" (my thought for the day) Funny : 3 Not Funny : 10             Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo . Funny : 8 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Thursday. you can find the status to get them here. what steps would you ta e?" "F** in' large ones" is not the correct answer. silly Faceboo statuses.20. 10.SILLY FACEBOOK STATUSES Quit Smo ing Benefits Fantastic Lasagna Recipe Windows 7 God Mode Is Netflix worth it Join a pool league How to find free printable coupons online for groceries Hundreds of the best.. I f you are loo ing for a silly or funny status update to get li es and comments.11 @ 16:27pm You might call it lazy .11 @ 20:36pm Apparently.. 2 20 I thin I'm gonna ta e a hot shower.11 @ 15:57pm I live li e I type. hilarious. 10.20.20. but with me in it . I call it selective participation. current page = 160 // 1 .. funny. Its li e a normal shower.11 @ 18:09pm Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy. 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 .20.20.20. 10.

18.18.19.. . 10.19.11 @ 19:12pm Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the wee e nd away. Funny : 8 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.18. 10. 10. 10...11 @ 16:08pm Ma e somebody happy today. 10. Funny : 3 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. 10.18. mind your own business!!! Funny : 4 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.19.11 @ 19:26pm DAMN! I'm so drun that I coo ed a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.19.19. 10. 10.. 10.18. 10. 2                                     . Funny : 7 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.11 @ 19:54pm I don't use cocaine. 10.): Funny : 3 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 15:59pm There are people on Faceboo who don't realize the difference between "What's on your mind" or "I should tal to a therapist about this" Funny : 10 Not Funny : 3 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. 10. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 . Funny : 10 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Wednesday.Category: funny status update on Wednesday. It could've been whis ey. 10. Funny : 5 Not Funny : 8 Category: funny drin ing status update on Wednesday.11 @ 16:09pm Never cry over spilt mil . I just li e the way it smells...11 @ 16:13pm thin s my life is becoming a very complicated drin ing game..11 @ 19:24pm What s a nice girl li e you doing in a dirty mind li e mine? Funny : 5 Not Funny : 2 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 19:51pm I now I have a long way to go but loo at how far I've come.. People should just pay me for being awesome.19. 10.) Just Sayin' Funny : 5 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Wednesday..11 @ 16:15pm Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would hav e named more things.18. Funny : 9 Not Funny : 1 Category: funny status update on Tuesday. Funny : 7 Not Funny : 4 Category: funny status update on Tuesday.11 @ 16:08pm I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.19.18.11 @ 16:25pm I shouldn't have to wor .11 @ 18:15pm The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pic up is how close to the r oad the stuff is placed.11 @ 16:41pm current page = 160 // 1 .

Silly Statuses     . Any content deemed inappropriate or offensi ve may be edited and/or deleted.   Don't forget to li e us on Faceboo .20 Leave a Silly Status: Category: Status: Note: Please eep comments relevant.

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful