Renato Poetry

Volume 1

By Renato Chaves Ferraz

A Push
fear of pain push's me keeps me alert to avoid misery a vicious circle i so often see time to break the chain and make what i want be greed is not what i need but power to plant my own life's seeds power to make my own selection and grow thorns while looking ahead for my protection Climbing life's wall if i should fall pick myself up and once again stand my ground tall

Another Alonely
can you please tell me how to get where i wanna be I've known for much to long nothing in life is free its all but a dream and nothing's what it seems I feel trapped in reality deep down inside of me it feels so far away, when will my work be my play? every single new day i try to find a better way I have no one to talk to but i listen so much everyday is another day i feel out of touch being myself is all i know how my own king, my own crown

Another Fake
the only thing that is real is something i can see the only thing thats real is sitting in front of me i dont know if i believe all you say beacause what you say doesnt always fall into place because now its the next day and now the story's changed and now the story's re-arranged so dont ask why i act so strange

Believing in something that isnt there
I have often wandered from my belief thinking it is just another surface not wanting to think there was something underneath I ask myself why should I believe in something I cannot see? then it fell or stumbled upon me I cannot see the wind, but it is there and I can feel wind it is there we are inside god god is inside of us my god and your god wear your gift of shine brightly

questioning everything, truth seeking eyes wide open and look, no blinking not enough or too much time for thinking think fast or you will be confused, sinking I'm not even sure if thats a bad thing some of you know exactly just what I mean I know I am being honest with me (knowing myself) I wanna know if your being honest with me hiding behind the pretty smoke screen aggravated is how you wanna see me unpleased because your secrets wont keep from the mountain tops to the oceans deep falling stars coming down as it read butterflies, the swimming thoughts in my head

Cant Shake This Feeling
there's a feeling I just cant shake with every moment i wake that always seems to come back, with a new reason for my heart to ache as i lay there and think of, how this darkness came to be i cant help but wish, my bright dreams become reality what looked like the door to opportunity let me in and left me deceived how easy it is for you to lie if i accuse you, why even try as you slither and slide behind the inevitable to hide left with a clear blanket of darkness that has left me blind as it tried to cover my eyes and try to make me believe 2 and 2 equals 5 i don't know how, but somehow i survived with a bright dream to help me strive and stay alive to find that better life, that will fulfill the emptiness inside from my feelings I wont hide from my feeling I cant hide

From Daddy
Dear Children, I love you so much, it is beyond words I always want to do right and the best for you I know I am not perfect I realize daily I do not know everything, I do not have all the right answers I just take it one day at a time, and do my best for you I will not give up on you ever I will stand behind your goals Help anyway I can I just to see your smile you make me so proud you will always be part of my soul, no matter what I need you as much as you need me, if not i need you more love, daddy

Gotta Break Out
I gotta break out without a doubt you wont let me in, you wont let me out an invisible chain that puts the strain on my brain when all i want is to be free from my pains there is a message in a bottle , inside my head it keeps floating cause no ones listened i need someone who can open me and set me at ease to feed me real dreams and look forward to we you and me, give each other what we need

Half Hearted
I messed up again, what could i do if you did the same you'd be good at it too i don't know how to try i just know I'm getting by I'll take anything, anything is good they say i will never change i don't know if i should i messed up again so lets forget the whole thing i don't wanna try again to work for your dream

Now I finally realized something about love to be in a relationship or to be in love does not necessarily mean to be into all the same things as the other person but possibly to be into the same things as the other person when it comes to being with another person and having love

turn around
as i turn around and look at all of the mistakes i made wanting to turn back time, and the price I've paid if i could take myself back to the day i would have backed myself up in a better way i would have taken away all of those second guesses and squash any future stress's instead of leading a life of trying to clean my mental mess's

Like A Switch
my mind has a switch one I should be able to control I can not control yet I can control sitting in misery crying my life stinks trying to flip the switch that conflict with instincts I reach deep inside for strength while fear bares it claws of intent I circle around another bend how this misery needs to end scanning my soul endlessly for the truth precious memories sacred that could sooth the only thing better than one is two yet I am not sure if that is true too

Lost Love
another night I cant sleep my tear stains on the bed sheet in my head I hear the words repeat looking over to her back turned to me over and over in my head they repeat remembering your punched words repeating "its not my job to make you happy" uncontrollable thoughts keep echoing its all so sour now I can taste it spitting it back out the way you now make it mind and body, can you feel my physicality? I know we need to question everything but I promise there is no need, to question this one thing please just look in my eyes I am not very good at telling lies I do not wanna to give you a line cant you feel it from inside?

My Only Greed
my only greed was wanting you all for me seems like i tried so hard and left with misery i ask myself how can i overcome my empty heart, my clouded sun trying to pick my soul up off the ground trying to stay aware of whats going on all around hoping for the rays of light to penetrate the clouds waiting for the sun to shine me, to heal my scars of doubt to know what was once then could never be again once my lover and my friend, now false feelings i cant pretend for now i must remain in the distance from what has shamed i want it all to go away, theres nothing more to say

New Sight
as I look around and see the illusion I still cannot shake the confusion I cant help wanting to run and hide and escape from the delusion I sit, waiting, staring into space for some fulfillment to replace although I do not know why I am running I feel I am being chased trying to find myself, know myself trying to replace the feelings, I can not deny trying so hard and I can not tell myself why is it some one or some thing? am I at either end of a puppet string? ying and yang, summer through spring knowing nothing and everything

rejection is something I know too well when it is coming, one never can tell wasted time waiting on hopes dreams too bad most things are not always what they seem too many tears have dripped from my eyes one more time is of no surprise I saw the symptoms and still I tried it hit me again, out of nowhere from the side opened myself to you and what do you do? take my deepest thoughts and come back with ridicule follow your programming like they taught you to do when you finally look, it just may be too late for you another sadness to overcome another trial to judge for some another chance to jump to conclusion another chance opening yourself to confusion take my words and do what you will by the time you realize standing still you will be looking for the answers as I and will have already passed your chance of time

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see half a man and misery Someone losing touch with their dreams Why does that person have to be me How could I let this happen to me This is something I just can't believe I just want to set my soul at ease I feel I need to grow some wings So many questions that start with why I no longer have it inside me to try Please god let me make it through the night Please give me the strength until everything is alright

There's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time Feelings that I hide so deep inside There is something you do to me That I can't explain but I can describe We get together and we feel so alive You hold my hand and into love we dive I can't wait till we get home to me and you So you can hold my soul and I'm inside you Sorry I took so long I denied the feelings I felt inside And for it I was so wrong Please come with me and lets be one alive Perhaps one day you will see inside my eyes To find the true heart with no disguise And feel the deep instincts inside of me And feel what true love delivered from me And now as we lay together quiet and content I look back to all the worthwhile time we spent And realize you filled the missing link inside of me You will always have a place inside of me

like jail but no bars or guards blockers with brick walls trying hard over, under, around or right through simple is what complicates you always looking for conspiracy in the wrong things it seems not that my theories are right but I look for the beginning of everything now the rules have been imposed blind and lazy loyalty is now chose you want the door to the truth closed your fear of your saving yourself explodes the inevitable evolution into revolution hiding behind the blameless illusion blameless circumstance causing confusion when will free not be a delusion?

Not a Spell
I was told to put the love spell on someone this is how it works send them a letter letting that someone know how you feel but I don't want you to feel that way about me falsely I just plain want to let you know I dream about us so much I don't understand it myself brings me to tears I imagine us in this never ending bliss but not outside of reality, whatever that is you just need to know its true everyday I think about me and you love that has no words to describe a connection we would make genuine smile on our faces every time we are together I would rely on your love, beyond a crush your love would determine my life I just wanted you to know

My Fantasies
sometimes I get lost in fantasy The fantasy of you and me far beyond a dreams reach I cant help to hope for this to become a reality I realize awake to the world ways I'm trapped as its slave some say I am paranoid I say I am awake fantasy seems all I have of my own waiting and hoping for it to come looking back on how my life has gone I realize I am a slave for much too long getting lost in the bright blue sky or the brightly lit stars of the night hoping for forever of you and I know thyself, to myself I wont lie

Seek the Truth
Seek the truth In age and in youth its never to late to control your own fate you be you and no one else don't be led, lead yourself we know how it is today rich is king, poor is slave be prepared when it rains it pours the inevitable reality the answer your looking for they are they, you are you find your own truth take it how you choose don't let anyone tell you my advice to you I may need to practice it too its all we can do seek our own truth

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